Dumb People Town - Dan St. Germain - Doctor Ravioli

Episode Date: July 9, 2024

Comedian Dan St. Germain (Dance Fatty Dance) stops by as Daniel describes how workers destroyed a driveway after the the client refused to pay for it, Jason explains why a woman stole a car to go to a job interview at a strip club, and Randy warns against shooting your grandson while officiating a wedding, and so much more!

Hey, townies. We got something special to announce. Oh, I would agree. What are you doing on August 9th? Because we're doing a live Dumb People Town in Brooklyn, New York at the Bell House Theater. We've sold this place out before. We're coming back and hoping to do the same thing again. So get your tickets now.

Boys, we got great guests for this show. And we have another one that we're going to announce soon. So you probably want to get them before everybody else is on this tip. Chloe Trost from SNL. She's amazing. We got to hang with her at Moon Tower. And she is energy incredible. She's so. We got to hang with her at Moon Tower and she is energy incredible. She's so much fun.

Musical guest, Ted Leo. Oh, Ted Leo. And he's also hilarious so he's going to chime in on the jokes part too. It's so much fun. A live Dumb People Town

is a religious experience. We love our audience in New York. You guys always come out. Make a little room on your wall. We got an original poster for this show.

You can pick one of those. Say hi to us. Hang a little after the show. Pick up one of those posters. It's August in New York. Let's have a good time yeah august 9th we'll see you at the bell house dan and randy j will share tales of folks so unaware they lack in grace and sometimes choose the life they choose we'll make the news breaking down each epic fail In Florida, there's half-price bail I'm happy to say they Couldn't make this up

So listen to our podcast band With co-hosts Arm and Dan Vandals, don't be a jerk Let's spread the music, wish the funny hits We are gonna take you down Stick around, make a sound On your down, it's Dumb People Town Hey, townies, welcome to another episode of

Dumb People Town Population, you Population, St. Germain Hey Dan St. Germain What an intro Welcome back, dude Welcome back

Good to be back I love the studio I love the outfits Yes, we brought colorful outfits I think you could have peacocked it a little more, Dan I'm sorry Daniel Van Kirk does not I it a little more, Dan. I'm sorry. Daniel Van Kirk does not. I went a little muted.

I'm muted, too. I should have worn some. We balance. This is actually probably pretty fun. We're the crazy bread on the outside. You guys are the good solid meat. You look like an ex-CIA guy who's now developing hallucinogens. Who's also in quality control at uh at what's the bahama

like i'm the one who says no one more parrot on that shirt dan and i look like the contestants on ten thousand dollar pyramid you guys are giving us the clues right jason looks like he's got several pairs of binoculars all right so that's is a great sweater. Isn't that a great sweater? So the world's getting dumber. I'm so happy that you're here to help sort this out with us, Dan. Well, I'm getting dumber, too. Then you'll understand. I don't know if you're getting dumber.

No, Dan, we just did a set with you or watched you do sets at Moon Tower in Austin, and you are definitely not getting dumber. Getting funny is shit. Hilarious. It already was funny. Well, thank you, dude. Got a new special,

which we're going to tell you about. We'll talk about it later along with dan's daniel's amazing special dan and daniel i got it straight and then uh but let's jump into some stories daniel do you got one yeah i do okay ranuel ranuel you know in the special in the special there's a story about a guy and i trying to save this old dude in hawaii it's that maybe i don't know why i never heard that that may be my favorite but his name was randy right and i kept thinking when you and the amount of people who afterwards thought it was me they go was it randy sclar and i go do you think

he's not that heroic i wouldn't have recognized him running on the beach do you think i would have left that nugget out that i'm gonna say this and we'll get to your plugs later daniel but the there's a moment in that story that i was not prepared for yeah that what that may be like i howled so much and i know you so well it'd be like me laughing at jason doing something it's like when my wife laughs at me do something i'm like what are you laughing at it's like you ever try to tickle yourself that's how close we are. You can't do it. You can't do it. You can't surprise yourself, Dan. You get mad?

You're like, what the hell are you laughing at? Alright, Daniel Van Kirk. I cried in the shower later after that, in real life. I know. I believe it. You said that on stage? Unbelievable. Sent in by Carleen McDermott. If you've never heard of her, but she's at SheBeCarleenlene so what happens

just so you know dan saint and everybody else if you've just joined us people's fans send us in they find these crazy like local stories they send them to us via x twix whatever you want to call it it's at uh skla brothers at daniel van kirk and then hashtag dumb people time then we can sort of see who sent it first because a lot of times we'll get like the same story sent like 50 times. When we pull back the curtain to talk about what's happening, that's called a shoot, right? That's a shoot. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So that's a shoot we did, right? You describing a shoot is a shoot. That's true, too. And you describing him describing a shoot is a shoot. Oh, no, stop. Don't ever get out of this. Video pro, our heads blow off. Somebody needs to create a show, scripted or unscripted i don't care

called inception pro wrestling where you're in the shoot in a shoot well as somebody who has a wrestling podcast uh formerly wrestle roast now working stiff yes i can guarantee you it'll have a hard time finding it but those listeners those listeners? Yeah. Those will love it. They'll love it. They will. They'll go down any shoot with you. Okay. Headline is,

workers destroy driveway after client refused to pay. Oh, so we're going to work on your driveway. So is this now, Dan, are we going to do who's the a-hole here? Oh, no, I think it's pretty clear. It's just a straight up story about in australia but uh yeah so and i've never thought about this before you do some sort of home construction or construction you build a fence you do whatever your landscape and then you don't get paid at what point do you go i guess we're gonna go undo that right yeah because i think that's fair. First of all, getting paid for services is such a...

This is your wife. This is my wife. What if she re-does someone's entire home? Yeah, but we can't go take the laughs back. Sometimes I never give them in the first place. I want to take the laughs back. You can go out and destroy the name of the play. Daniel Van Kirk in Take Back the Laughs.

That would be a great fundraiser. Take Back the Laughs. Take Back the Laughs. That would be a great fundraiser. Take Back the Laughs. Just a bunch of people, comics marching, but they can only go three quarters of a mile because they're so out of shape. It's all setups. No one does punchlines. It's like you do a joke, and then you're just like,

ah, I think Carlin did that. It's like you immediately throw cold water on everyone's jokes. Take Back the Laughs. Or it's constantly the version of, my buddy has a joke, and then you do it poorly. Yes. That's taking the laughs.

Look, I'm not doing it right because he does it better than me. You had to be there. There's more of an act out in that. I don't really do that. Listen, I don't do impressions, but if I did, it would be this thing, and then I'm not going to do it because. But like your wife, if she designs a home for somebody,

and then they don't pay, does she go back in and get the curtains and go, we're not then. But I'm serious. It must cross your mind. It's happened. Well, these guys had enough. Australian tradesmen reached their breaking point when they destroyed a concrete driveway after their client refused to pay them and left them with no other choice.

I'm on their side. Greg, come up. Damien Hallett. Damien Hallett. That sounds like a folk hero. That's the guy whose house it is? Nope. That's a reverse. A hallet is a reverse mullet.

That means your hair is long in the front. Tonight we have a hallet. How are you searing the hallet? Were you a waiter? I could see you being a waiter. I was the worst waiter. Really? We were busboys. Oh, Dan.

This is one of my... I can see that. You know, we all had jokes that we didn't realize were like our bits before we started doing stand-up. It's one of my oldest jokes. But I would use it to really describe people. Like, you do a waiter. I go, my entire being a waiter career can be summed up in one sentence.

I forgot your Diet Coke. And doing that, too. I was so bad. I was very good at the sit down and the how we do it. And being charming. And then the other person's like, I didn't order a Diet Coke. Which made me a good bartender. Which made me a good bartender, but a horrible waiter.

Horrible waiter. So it's not about serving people. It's about the distance you have to walk between you getting the order. Yes, I can build rapport. I just can't execute. My God, yeah. I've been in the food industry. I did not do that well.

No. We loved it. We're not designed for that. No. I wash dishes. Being a busboy, I was a dishwasher. Yeah, when I started at Second City, I was essentially a bar back. Right. No. I think I wash dishes when... Being a busboy, I was... I was a dishwasher. Yeah, when I started at Second City, I was essentially a barback. Right.

Yeah. And that... And seating people, I sat people, I was good at that. Seating people, expediting food, we did all that stuff. Are we all doing it tonight? It's amazing anything gets done at the comedy store when you figure all these guys are working there, want to be comedians. It is wild to me. You know, like, how are they remembering orders? Like, how are

they just not quitting? Well, the waiters and waitresses. The wait staff isn't necessarily. They're locked in. The doorman and those people in the parking lot. But even some of them, and they're all cool as shit. But if I had started out as a door guy at the store, you would have had to have kept me outside. I do like the bartenders.

Because you put me in the room. They'd be like, Daniel, the stage. Or I'd be, like, too locked into the comedy. I'd be the other way. I'd be too into into the comedy. I'd be the other way. I'd be too into the comedy. You would either be impressed or resentful. This is Dan as a waiter at the comedy store. Sure.

I forgot everyone's dying. You know what I thought you were going to say? I forgot to do your Coke. I'm on Coke. On the glass. I'm on the line. I forgot I'm on Coke I'm on the line I forgot I'm on coke alright so they

just jacked this thing up and his business partner Jamie Somerville Hallett and Somerville the new Rizzoli and Isles the Australian Rizzoli and Isles they work at Claire Concreting a concrete contractor company in Claire Australia which sounds like a vocal warm up

Claire Contracting a concrete contractor company in Clare, Australia. Which sounds like a vocal warm-up. Clare contracting a concrete contractor company in Clare, Australia. Nevertheless, the men lost their cool after destroying their hard work. I would say they lost it before they did it. But did they? When a homeowner informed them he wouldn't pay the remaining balance of his bill. This, I'm telling you because my wife's in this business of that thing. The remaining balance is the worst thing to then go after

because once it's done what are they going to do but you sort of understood that they can't pay you the full rate until it is done and now it is done and they've already crossed the finish line emotionally in their life so they're not going to pay it she dealt with people being like well you didn't really do it the way I want

so I'm not going to they're like well you didn't do they start to list off the things and like that's not the way it goes if you were to go to a store and buy right an item that's packaged up and you say to yourself loaf of bread and you're like those last two pieces weren't what i was expecting let you i guess i wonder if any interior designers build in like a two three thousand five thousand dollar uh buffer no it's like a removal package so when everything's done if you decide you don't like this then it gets taken out and if you are happy with everything it just gets given back to you but you just pay that in the event that you end up not wanting everything because we do have to pay people to come you could do that like a deposit yeah or like yeah like a little insurance

policy yeah that's why the only the only safe business is like plumber and locksmith because like you need that fucking person you need it and you are so relieved when it's done you're like how much what can i do for you yes um the laborers were seen in footage captured outside the home where they started digging up a driveway with a bulldozer yeah damien was reportedly seen telling the child was that the child was reportedly seen hovering above the driveway supervising everything damien was reportedly seen telling the stunned homeowner I'm ripping the whole fucking lot out. So the guy comes out of his house. He's like, what's going on?

He's like, it's gone. I'm ripping it out. It's gone. You didn't want it, right? You didn't pay. Right? I mean, I love it, Dan. This is where I almost printed out.

This is the dad who's like, I'm going to stick to whatever I'm grounding this kid with. There's a whole, there's literally one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight lines of dialogue that i almost like printed out sides you do all the homeowner comes out and he goes the hell you doing right the guy replies i'm ripping the whole fucking lot out damn right to which the homeowner replies it's not gonna help anybody oh it's gonna help them and then damien responded it's not gonna help me by leaving it here that's right he's right yes then the tradesman edits so i don't care i'm pulling this out great at the end of the day you owe me money i'm pulling this out you had your chances the homeowner was seen continuing to argue which damien counteracted with you said you're not gonna pay me the money if you're gonna

pay me the money i'll stop if not i'm going to bulldoze now yeah this gave him the out this is great and i'm going to charge you for what it cost me to bring this bulldozer over here but i just picture this a-hole like sitting eating like any toasted english muffin right yeah and you just start hearing and you just start hearing and you're like that's weird probably not for us right right wait why is that getting louder right yes yes uh however the men eventually came to an agreement the daily mayor reported in the initial footage of the dispute a police officer was seen asking the construction workers to be reasonable so the cop shows up i'd be reasonable mike yeah exactly very well that's not a bulldozer oh come on it's a bulldozer he's got one in his back pocket damien yelled at his stingy client i've got messages from a day ago where you said you'll pay the officer was

filmed interjecting saying now can we go over here and talk about it to which damien replied you can go talk to him i'm done talking to him why do you why do you do why do i need to talk to him that's right he doesn't the conflict go get my money cop reportedly continued before law enforcement understood the origins of the disagreement that's right you he had to explain it to the guy this is when the cop says to the homeowner hang on how much do you owe him the police officer asked to which damien replied now damien interjects how? Do we get to guess? Yes.

In American dollars or Australian dollars? I believe it's American dollars. How much money do you think the homeowner owed these guys, Mullet and Hanley

or whatever, on 400 bucks? $400. Oh, more than that. Like, he owed them like $3,000. $4,000. He owed them $3,500.

You guys bookended it. That's enough to make you. No, that's money. Yes. That's real money. The way you set that up, I thought it was going to be like an infinitesimal. Oh, no. It was enough to.

Dude, that's a weekend in Dr. Grin. I hate it when I don't guess numbers right. We'll get it you'll get one more chance you'll get it well then you need to pay him the 3500 that's right so the cop is now the cop is now in the bulldozer let me get a couple dicks in there uh the tradesman applauded the cop adding that he had been outstanding and of course he was by the way you know he applauded him in the most like... You hear that? Yeah. You hear that?

Nancy Pelosi. Keep going, Nancy Pelosi. Clapping in his face. The tradies told News.com AU that they were simply hardworking Aussies pushed to the limit. Jimmy said, we don't condone this sort of stuff. We've never done it before. We knew it was going to come to a situation. We're criminals we're not alcoholics we're australia oh sorry this is like the moment this is the moment in the land down under where like the cop and the guy in who's working realize they're both from the same town oh for sure i mean the

bulldozer guy and he's like oh i come from a land down under and they're just bulldozing it together according to jamie the job was for thirteen thousand five hundred dollars and the homeowner had paid ten thousand but was refusing to pay the remainder you gotta pay it out you agreed on the price explained the main reason why it happened was he blatantly said to us he wasn't going to pay so there is no no reason. It's not like they goofed on the middle. You made our driveway 10 feet shorter. Did he dig it up at all? If he dug it up, then does he not own the money?

How does that work? If you destroy it, then you don't own the money. Yeah, once you destroy it, you're saying, I don't want the money. He either was threatening with the bulldozer and never did any, or would have to, I'm sure, fix whatever they had started. I think you bring it down and start to make some noise by the street and then it's over. So, but $3,500.

So, technically, out of a $13,000 bill, it's about a fourth. Right. So, they should have broken up a fourth of the driveway. Sure. Right? Yeah. Because they're like, look, he paid for a 10. And it has to be the front fourth.

Right. Because you want those cars to, if you're going to leave it. And it has to be the front four because you want those cars to if you're going to leave it. You want it to be a dip. Yes, of course. According to Jamie, clients not paying happened not too often, but last year a big company

stuffed them out of how much money? So this is the baggage that they brought into this new relationship. Yes, this is like, they're like, it happens. Someone else stuffed them, stiffed them out of money yeah and so this one they said not again never which probably added to the anger and the aggression and shortened the fuse i mean he's got the bulldozer on speed dial he said we're still recovering from what they didn't pass so

we will get out of here on this okay what is. Okay. What is the amount of money that you think the first company stiffed them that added to this going, we're not letting $3,500 go? For doing the parking lot driveway? Yeah. You can go first. You can take it. Do you want me to go first? Whatever you want.

I'll go last. Okay. So I think they stiffed them out of like $40,000. $40,000? Yep. Oh, I think it's going to be like $80,000. It's like a whole parking lot. $80,000. Damn. I'm going to split the's going to be like 80,000 dollars. 80,000 dollars.

Damn. I'm going to split the difference for 60,000 dollars. 60,000 dollars. What were their names? Hamlet. Mellet. Mellet.

Hallet. Hallet and Somerville. Hallet and Somerville. We were close. Hallet and Somerville. Hallet and Somerville. Hallet and Somerville, get your badges

and get out of here. It's like a Jimmy Buffett cover band. I know it too well. Hallet and Somerville. Hallett and Somerville. Hallett, Somerville, get your badges and get out of here. It's like a Jimmy Buffett cover band. I know it too well. Hallett and Somerville. Changes in attitudes. Changes in life. Wasted away again down in Somerville. There you go.

Searching for my lost Hallett assault. That's perfect. Somerville and Hallett. Hallett. Hallett. Don Hallett. Goodet is sold. That's perfect. Summerville and Hallet. Hallet. Don Hallet. Good to meet you. Why are you squeezing my hands? Don Hallet.

Hallet Ford. I met you. You don't need to squeeze my hand that hard. Don, let it go, man. How about we fist bump next time? What did you guess? I said $80,000. I said $40,000.

He said $60,000. Okay. They were screwed out of $14,000. Still a lot. Enough to piss you off. Enough to piss you off. Jason, you're going to be second. We'll do some plugs.

We'll do that on the other side of the bridge. Dan and Daniel both have specials out. I want everyone to go see them. This is Dumb People Town. Dan St. Germain is our guest. We'll be right back. Stick around. Take us down.

There's more Dumb People Town. Hey, wonderful people. We are back. The show is happening, and we have two great people plugging great things. Two Dan's, two specials. I love it so much. Let's start with Daniel Van Kirk. Same time.

Before we get to Dan St. Germain, Daniel Van Kirk has a beautiful special which I watched on a plane and I laughed so loud, people looked at me. I was like, Jay was next to me and I'm like,

Vane's like, you gotta cool it. I'm like, it's so funny. I was like, you gotta cool it and then I remembered a week earlier I saw all the stuff live

when he retired, not retired it, but like did a one last time when I moved it over to the corporate gig section the Elysian theater and I was laughing so hard again like I said there's one story in the middle that I just absolutely love if you listen

to this podcast you if you're here like it you if you're here you already like what people are watching it and of course people are loving observation yes I mean it's all the townies it have gone to my YouTube and watched it. I really appreciate you. If you're ever wondering how you can support two things, come to shows and share the special. So danielvancurk.com for that, or you can go to my YouTube.

And then I will be – I'm not sure when we're dropping this, so you probably missed me in Denver, but you might be able to catch me in Green Lake, Wisconsin. And then I am doing a week of shows at the Lincoln Lodge. I'm building my new hour and making it a little bit of a comedy festival. July 16th through the 21st. It's called Hub City Comedy Week. There's going to be tons of other great comics and friends of mine who are just coming to hang out and do shows as well.

You can go to danielvankirk.com to get all of that rose gold baby i love it daniel i'm so proud of you and i'm now proud of this dan dan saint germain who like we said jay and i just you did tag it which thank you for doing it was a great show wasn't that a blast you guys gave me some great tags that i have to uh i have to incorporate that's all we ask is you have to incorporate them text me let me know this week because last week i was a little nervous because it was, you know, you come to, well, you guys don't have this, but you come to, probably you have this in New York. Go to New York. Come to New York, and you're like, I want to just do the 10 minutes that I know is going

to crush, you know? Sure. But you crushed, and you crushed, by the way. Yes, this was the new stuff. But if you want to check out the last special I did, which came out a month and a half ago. Love it. Dance Fatty Dance. It's free on YouTube.

I'm making the pad. It's a brilliant title. Yes, I'm making the pad rounds about it. So check it out. Free on YouTube. Dance Fatty Dance. So this is it. We say this over and over again, and I mean this.

You guys are part of a revolution the way we get these people to make money off of doing specials or understand they can do another special is by supporting and watching so this is how it helps just to not do it go into another shoot or do another shoot oh no this is how it it it works if people if people like the special and like daniel van kirk said send it to their friends and say share it be like have you seen this is great I know you love comedy and this is just a great special it's free on YouTube check it out

then that gets passed around and we've all had things that go viral that thing gets passed around people find out about it and then when we're all in another city performing our comedy it's maybe gotten to some people who now love your comedy who have seen the special you'll sell more tickets in

your town and make more money that's a good thing we're trying to keep it afloat folks I want to remind you tell everybody about the name change for the pod wrestling pod right if you're a wrestling fan I have a podcast called Wrestle Roast that's changing to working stiff hopefully this week.

When does this come out? We don't know. It'll be out. It'll be changed. It'll be changed. So please check it out. It's me and Scott Chaplin and Mike Lawrence and Robert Carpo. It's really funny guys just talking about wrestling.

So if you're looking at comedy, wrestling, crossover. And I'll be doing a new podcast very soon with Sean Donnelly. If you're an all things comedy guy, you know that from my dumb friends. Working title is Burbs Bros. Craziest stories about the suburbs. So in the dumb people town. In the dumb people town verse. We got to jump on that because we've got crazy suburbs stories.

Oh, God. For sure. I'd love you to have it, guys. That sounds great. All right, one more time. Dan's Fatty Dance. Yes. And Rose Gold. Those are the two specials you need to watch on YouTube. Just Google them. And we'll tell you what we got coming up later. All right, one more time. Dan's Fatty Dance. Yes. And Rose Gold.

Those are the two specials you need to watch on YouTube. Just Google them. And we'll tell you what we got coming up later. All right, here we go. This story was sent in by Megan Laskowski. Yeah, it's Megan Laskowski. Soymates 3 ever. Let me guess.

Let's all make our guesses. H, no H in this, Megan. I'm going to go no H. No H. No H. It does sound like that last name, every time you say it, sounds like you agree with them. Oh, yeah.

Laskowski. H or no H? You can't do it without a Chicago. There is an H. Oh, Jesus. Fucking kill yourself. Come on. Meg hands.

Meg hands. I also like a Sarah with no H. That's my hot take. It almost feels like you're Rod. I'm married to a Sarah with no H. Oh. Well done. All tip. It almost feels like you're Rod. I'm married to a Sarah with no H. Well done. Nice, bro.

Wasn't that a Ben Fold song? Sarah with no H? She's a Sarah. Sarah with an H. She's got no H's. Okay, here we go. Here's the headline. Cops, colon.

So this is what they've told us. This is what they say. She stole car for stripper interview. Hope for impunity. That almost sounds like an accusation, like a brother saying what the sister did. She stole car for stripper interview. But also, I mean, she wants the job. Look.

She wants the job. You got to impress the interview and you know you know she's gonna show up she you know how many times have you gone to a second interview a third interview a fourth interview they're calling references for the stripper job they really want to know are you going to deliver on everything that your resume says you have i mean they're checking every reference the background checks are insane we've all met people like throughout our lives and career where they're like man i don't know how you do that like they're just like i don't even know how you generate yes work to like that's how i think about strippers i'm like i don't know

that is such a hard do you know how you walk in no pun intended all intended you walk in owing money to the club that you then have to make back and then start making money. It's like the worst pyramid scheme ever. You don't have amazing nights. But hey, we have amazing nights doing comedy. We have shitty nights doing comedy. It's just supposed to be so hard.

And then, again, you're fighting for stage time. And you have to create a sexy vibe while getting money, which the least sexy I feel is when I'm worried about money. So that's a fact. And then also you have this notion of these women are like, it's almost like a comedian who's built his or her entire act on being angry. What if you're not mad that night? But also what if you're not happy? What if you're not mad that night? What if you're not happy?

What if you're not the fun guy mood? We've had those nights. What if you're not the upbeat guy? What if you're in a depressed mood? It's like, you don't want to feel sexy all the time. I think as you get older, you feel sexy less. You really don't want to go, I mean, I don't know if you guys, but you don't want to go on stage with a great mood.

No. You want a good mood, but honestly, a little frustrated is the best way to get you know our friend little pissed off fritz and he's a great comic yeah yeah really good so funny he's like i never i always like to go on stage hungry like a little bit physically hungry right right it's like i do better if it's like if i've eaten and we feel this way too if we've eaten a little bit you're too sad a big meal before you do like a headline an hour and a half. I'm tired.

Anyway, I'm sure a stripper won't eat a Thanksgiving dinner before. Do you think she knew the person in the car she stole? I mean, I know what we're going to say. We're going to get into it. There's so many questions. Let's get into it. An Indiana woman seemed to think she did nothing wrong. She didn't do nothing.

She didn't do nothing wrong. Despite stealing a car in order to travel to an interview for a stripper job. She was going to put it back. Please say. I mean, for real. Interview? Can't you just send a photo no you need to feel that person's energy why aren't they conducting stripper interviews on zoom i feel like since the pandemic she's got a mask but her boobs are out we went portland went through that yeah she's got pasties on her mouth. Confronted by police. Shout out Devil's Point.

Can I tell you her name? I don't know if this is her stripper name. Who was the guy's name? It was a guy who was like a lawyer, Robert Ravioli. Remember? Doctor. Doctor Ravioli. Was he an eye doctor or something? He was a psychologist with twins

Dr. Robert Ravioli or you have to be a pediatrician that's not even a good Ravioli name I agree yeah Dr. Pumpkin Ravioli anything you do though

Pastor Ravioli Pastor Ravioli imagine like if you were a pastor. Pastor Ravioli. Imagine you have a kid that dies and the doctor was Dr. Ravioli. You're immediately going to sue them, right? I'm sorry. This is Dr. Ravioli. We couldn't get your son through surgery.

And wouldn't you kind of be like, this is on us a little bit. We're not letting Ravioli deliver this news. As a hospital, do not let him deliver this news. Robert Ravioli, the surgery. All right. Confronted by police, Kasia Shelton. Kasia Shelton. Kasia. She doesn't even need to change her name.

I know. She's like, Caitlin and Kasia. Kasia. A lot of the times, the ones with the great names, then they change it. It's strippers to like, Ann. Yeah. We got Jill coming A lot of the times the ones with the great names, then they change it at strippers to like Ann. Yeah. We got Jill coming up next on the main stage, guys.

Lisa coming up on the main stage. I'm not going to tell you how old she is. Great name. Kejah. Kejah. Quote, acting like this whole thing was a joke and did not understand why she was going to be arrested for it. But I love, it's one of my favorite things in the history of Dumb People Town is the

devil may care, like the carefree Do you guys remember we did a story once about this dude who was having sex during like Oktoberfest in Wisconsin? Yes. And when the cop was like, get out of the car, he was like, dude, it's Oktoberfest. It's Oktoberfest. We're gonna do this now?

This is according to the Muncie Police Department. Police received a call about the theft of a what year Kia Optima? Okay, this is now. When did they start making Optimas? What was the optimal year? I think it was, I don't know why. 2004?

I think I know that. Yeah, but I think it was probably around that time. I think that she stole a 2013 Kia Optima. I was going to say 2014. Do you mind if I cut you off? I was going to say 2014. Do you mind if I cut you off? I'm going to go 2014. Do you think if you're... Okay, police,

they can't find stolen cars anyway. If you've got your car stolen, you're fucked. Sorry. But do they do it in order of nice cars? Oh, we've got a Jaguar. Bump that up above the Kia Optima.

Oh, hell yeah. A Ford Escort immediately goes to the bottom. So here's what I would say to car makers. This is such a simple thing. If there's something in your... Can't they put a tile? So if there's something in your Find My iPhone, you know where it's going, okay?

Yes, exactly. But why can't, if you have a GPS system in your car of some sort, any sort of a mapping system, there be something along with that that... There is....that geolocates where the car is? I can't, if you have a GPS system in your car of some sort, any sort of a mapping system, there be something along with that that geolocates where the car is. I know for a fact the new Toyota Camrys have it built into the app. So if it does get stolen, people are like, oh, there it is. See, that should be the new way.

So guys, just steal the radio. Okay. Don't take the whole car. But thieves are like so, they're so smart in this way that they'll be like, anything after like 2019 will never get stolen. Okay. It'll all be before that.

I'm just saying, like they know what, so you said 2013, 2014. What do you say? I'm going to go 2008. Okay, 2008. One of you is exactly right. Oh, yeah. So now we get to... I'm sick in 2013. I'm going to switch to

Dan St. Germain. I don't think you should. Do you want to stay with yours or go with anyone? Stay. Okay. Get your answer. He said 2008 and I got excited. She stole a 2013. Man, I'm usually good at years. He knew.

Since I got it right, can I jump to you? Can I ask you guys the most off-topic question real quick? Of course. Do you have a child? No, I do not. Okay, me either. So you two. Yeah. You two brothers.

Yes, sir. Have you at any point tried to talk to your children about the fact that we all used to take the faces of our radios off? No, no. Because they have no concept of this right they probably don't even know it was ever a thing i don't know what radios are yeah they don't i don't think my son listens to his music on his earphones from his radio but i would just love it very casually you were like you know we all used to take our radios with us when we walked

just the face and they would be like what are are you doing? Also, if you were someone who stole stuff and you saw a faceless radio, you'd be like, that's probably expensive. Let me get it and we'll put another face on it. Because they had

the most beautiful light shows. Remember that? That was so cool. It was so cool. Your friend would get a new car and then they would play whatever. We would play Grateful Dead. We were all deadheads, but it was great.

Yeah, so they have nothing, right? They have no perception. 2013, took it from a Muncie dealership. She took it straight from the dealership on Monday. It's a loner. All right, listen. It's a loner. This isn't test drive.

I'm always on the, look, I don't want stuff stolen from companies. I really don't like this. But I feel a little better about it that she took it from a test drive. I'm always on the... Look, I don't want stuff stolen from companies. I really don't like this. But I feel a little better about it that she took it for a test drive. She took it for a test drive. She took it for a job interview. I mean, if I'm writing the headline for this story because it's a stripper and because it's a car, I would call this pole position. That's right.

Sure. WTTV reports. An employee claimed they were preparing to arrange for Shelton to take a test drive. That's right. But were distracted as the dealership kept getting phone calls, though no one seemed to be on the other end of the line. This is the old call. Is she dialing the number from her?

Yeah. And continuing to hang up. Then she keeps dialing. I think your phone's ringing right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that your phone over there she kept them going back into the office the employee go back in the office is what most people were selling the employee reportedly told sheldon to wait while they went to answer yet

another phone call this is like an old gag that's when sheldon allegedly drove off in the kia per the messenger cameras showed the vehicle easily traced to sheldon who filled out a form on the dealership of course she did. Traveling south toward Indianapolis, later returning to Muncie, according to police, when officers showed up at Shelton's home. Oh, she just took the car home. Oh. The woman. They lied to us.

Bring it back and be like, what, I couldn't take it that far? The woman, I'm waiting for my third interview. What if she got the job because of the car? I mean, I thought about this. Do you hire someone who wants the job this much? Do you have a Kia? You don't have cars for her to steal at the club. Do you have an 11-year-old Kia Optima?

Yes, I do. You are hired. Today, I do. She initially lied about who she was, police said. She later admitted to stealing the car and driving how many miles to Indianianapolis to interview for a job as an exotic dancer but claimed it wasn't a big deal because she returned the vehicle to the dealership afterward according to court documents she did there were you asked us a question how many miles so did she drive how many miles would you drive to go to a strip interview dancing one way or a round trip

this is one way to get there i think i think a strip club, it's within the 20-mile range. Once you get over 20 miles, then you have to start asking some hard questions. You either really want to work at the strip club. Pun intended. I would say 38 miles. 20 miles? You said 38 miles? This is the guessing number.

It is so fun. Muncie to Indianapolis feels like it's about an hour, so I'll go 58 miles. One of you is two miles off. Oh, that's fun. I'll go 50. 40 miles. Six.

40. Was I right? Up or down? Up or down. Fuck. You said 22 miles. Okay. Get your answers in.

Danny went the wrong way. God damn it. Not that, Dan. 60. 60 an hour. 60. Wait a minute. I wasn't even close. Daniel went the wrong way. God damn it. Not that Daniel. 60. 60 an hour. 60. Wait a minute. I wasn't even close.

That Daniel. The documents indicate Shelton actually left the vehicle with the keys inside in a parking lot next door to the RDI Motors dealership. That's close enough, right? Yeah. It's there. Keys in it. Can you see it?

Well, that way it makes it look like it just kind of wandered off. What? I just took it over here over that's what she said however the rdi motors employee said the vehicle was ultimately recovered in anderson about how many miles from muncie 40 eight i say eight eight miles 14 i say i can't i can't do this anymore i've lost too many times 20 no i wouldn't have i would have picked something different. Sheldon reportedly told me she didn't know what happened to the vehicle after she left it, but that she'd seen it on some bitch's Snapchat.

That is not what she said. Is that what she said? Some B dash dash. Oh. Oh. Very. The lead, Jason. Some bitch's Snapchat, which could have been the headline of the article.

It's on some bitch's Snapchat. She was arrested on felony charges of auto theft, identity deception, and faces up to 2.5 years in prison if convicted. Police have said, I'm not making you guess that, have not said who they believe was placed in the calls to the dealership. I think they have an idea.

We're going to get out of here on this. How old is Keisha Shelton? 27. I'll go back into this. I wish I knew what strip club she wanted to work in. I'm going to go with 26. 27, 26. I'm going to go 24 years old.

Get your answers in. Ran has the next story, and we'll give you our plugs that are coming up. Ran can tease it when he gets a chance. Keisha Shelton was and is 20 years old. Oh, 20 again. She's young, man. A college junior. Also ambitious.

I want my daughters to have that level of ambition. At 20 years old. Ingenuity. I need to know if she got the job. She better have gotten the job. She fought hard for that. She's a felon. We got a felon all the way.

She's a felon and she's a felon. There it is. Brought it back. All right. One more segment. You say she's a felon and she's stripping nicely? No, on stage. This is why you don't let your grandfather officiate a wedding.

All right. That's coming up next. It's Dumb People Town with Dan St. Germain. Dan's got a special. Dan's Fatty Dance. And Daniel's got a special. Check them both out on YouTube it's free

next time you're on a flight next time you're like what are we watching don't watch a dumb reality piece of crap watch two beautiful pieces of art yes that's it we'll be right back with more dumb people on the last segment stick around

there's more dumb people town hey guys welcome back to the show we're with the great dan saint germain and daniel van kirk we are the scler brothers and we have one more story before we get into it let us tell you where we are going to be uh again not sure when this drops so i'm going to do our dates in uh i'll do what we have in june so we just added two dates at hyenas's, the one in Fort Worth on Wednesday night on June 19th and then on the 20th.

No, I think it's 19th and 20th. 19th is a Friday. Saturday is the 20th. Are you talking about June? June. No, that's not. Anyway, Wednesday, whatever that is, the Wednesday, the 19th, and then the next and then the Thursday, we're downtown. We're at the downtown Hyena's on the 20th and the 21st.

We're going to be at the Secret Group in Houston on the 22nd. We will be at the Secret Group. I'm very excited for all those shows. Supersplash.com for all those. Texas, come see us. And then in L.A. we're doing a tagging on the 25th at Largo, which should be phenomenal and fun. You've done it.

You both have done the show. It is a blast. So Supersplash.com for all of that stuff. You both have done the show. It is a blast. So superschoolers.com for all of that stuff and good stuff on the way. We will let you know about that as it comes, but we can't reveal it now. Okay, here you go. You ready? Sent in by Shebe Carlina, Shebe Carlina,

Carlina McDermid. This is the headline. Texas grandfather accidentally shoots grandson 12 while officiating 12 times? No, 12-year-old grandson. It's notating officiating 12 times no 12 year old grandson it's not accidental when it's 12 times i'm sorry he might have shot him i'm sorry i'm sorry might have a gun stutter um i could have we could have guessed the age how do you turn this off where the fuck you have a gun exactly it's a texas wedding i mean is there a 20 is there

a 21 gun salute when you get married i think you're allowed to just carry a gun anywhere sure but i mean like when someone's like i do i do is that what happens there's probably one more shrimp puff they both were going for it you shoot the person who that's my shrimp puff yeah no it's not grandpa oh yeah pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, You were bald at 12, right? What's that? Just kidding. Dan, Daniel. Yes. We want Daniel Van Kirk to write a book called I'll Dance With Your Aunt. My Guide to Being the Best Wedding Guest of All Time. How great of a book would that be? That's a great title.

And a great idea for a book. I'm not sure if it sells, but it's a great title. What do you mean? It's the best? How to Be the Best Wedding Guest Ever? It's the best title for that book that I how to be the best wedding guest ever it's the best title for that book that i have no idea who would buy i think people would buy it uh young people how to be the greatest wedding guest of all time you get it from how to win how to win

the wedding it's a point in the wedding in the midwest how to win the wedding game sounds like i think like if you're a bride yeah she might buy it by mistake how to win a wedding game how to win the wedding game winning all right good good. Michael Gardner. Dan. Michael Gardner. Daniel. Michael Gardner of Odessa, Texas. Odessa's like big time high school football. They're like 5,000 people come to the games.

I mean, that is like West, I believe, West Texas. Some of them Tim Riggins running around. Right. Was set to preside over the nuptials at the Hillside events in Denton, Nebraska on Saturday evening when he fired a blank round from his revolver into the air you don't need to do that dummy if you're in the crowd and he fires a revolver what goes up must come down i'm leaving i'm leaving for sure is that what happened it's blank i thought gardner was trying to quote gain everybody's attention how about a crazy whistle yeah how about How about, hey, guys?

Hey, hey, we're about to start the wedding. What happened to just reading from Corinthians? Or a piano. Dun, dun, dun, dun. A little bit of that. Everyone will shut the app. Yes. Yeah.

Gardner was trying to get everyone's attention after the wedding got off to a late start because, quote, somebody forgot the rings. So now this is someone else's fault they forgot the rings and that's why i shot my 12 year old grandson whoa what hey i'm telling you if the rings are here on time people aren't making a noise i don't have to shoot my gun up in the air whichever if the rings don't fit you must acquit the deputy explained noting noting... Two rings, one gun, can't lose. That's right. Noting that the firearm was a Pieta 1860 snub-nosed revolver. Does that sound like something that an old cop in San Francisco would carry around?

This is the kind of gun that this guy shows to a lot of people. I don't care. Can you saw off a revolver? Isn't a snub-nosed what Michael Corleone used? Yeah, he did. Put it behind the toilet. Noting that the firearm was that, snub nose what Michael Corleone used? Yeah, he did. Put it behind the toilet. All right. Noting that the firearm, okay, was that.

And the blank round contained black powder inside the casing with glue. When he decided to cock back the hammer's revolver, it slipped and shot his grandson in the left shoulder, causing an injury. This is like the crow all over again. This is, stop it. It's like the crow. Man, the amount of times I hear that. Okay.

It was a crow-themed wedding. Hodge and Zinn. Adding that the boy was in close proximity to Gardner at the time. I do know for a fact this old guy was like, why is he standing there? Well, don't put him there. Why is he standing there? Well, don't put him there.

Why is he standing there? What? Why am I the bad guy? I mean, I'm not glad I did it, but why is he standing there? Well, don't put him there. Why is he standing there? What? Why am I the bad guy? I mean, I'm not glad I did it, but why is he standing there? What we believe is that the glue injured the child, Houchin said on Monday. He added that the boy was transported to an area hospital before being taken to another hospital in Omaha.

Do you think they finished the ceremony? Yes. The bride is like, it is my day. It is my day. This kid's not going to take away my day. This little bitch isn't going to ruin my day. Shoulder, you finished the ceremony. Yes. The bride is like, it is my day. It is my day. This kid's not going to take away my day. This little bitch isn't going to ruin my day. Shoulder, you finish the ceremony. That's right. I agree. Nuts? I don't know. No. Anything

below shoulder. Before being taken to a hospital in Omaha for further treatment of the non-life-threatening injuries. We do have the weapon, the ammunition, and the spent casing, Houchin said. The deputy also stated that Gardner turned himself in on Monday and was arrested on suspicion of felony child abuse. That's what it is? So wait a second.

He waited a whole day to turn himself in? Yeah. I imagine the cops let him. He said the cops don't work on Sunday. Yeah. Right? It's lower than that. So funny.

It's felony child abuse. Like Texas, they can't mention the gun well the gun part's fine right you abused a kid you abused a kid i mean if it was somebody else you would not have right so if the person's 17 18 you're fine what the cunt what the county attorney decides to charge him with is up to him he said yeah a lot of deflection yeah so we'll kick this one down the road he said adding that the crime fit the statute of child abuse. It's just kind of neglectful to take a

gun out that has blanks and fire it amongst people. What a casual way of saying you're a dick. You know, it's just kind of frowned upon. By the way, it's a little much, guys. Hey, don't do it, you dumb ass, is what I would say. If you're looking for an excuse not to invite this whole piece of shit to anything ever again, you got it.

You got it. You've got it for life. Do we agree he never officiates any wedding ever again? He's not allowed at anything. I'm not sure he officiated this wedding. Maybe he did. Playing with the firearms no matter what, in sickness, in health, in injury by my gun. Yeah, no kidding.

No matter what. If they're blank. Do you think right after he shot the kid, he didn't realize the severity and was like, now everybody gonna listen? Now is everybody paying attention? Oh, I'm the asshole. He's like, okay, I've got

your attention now. Wouldn't it be great if this old guy wouldn't it be wonderful if this old ass posted to Reddit, am I the asshole? And it's And he doesn't know. I shot a 12-year-old, my grandson, at a wedding. With glue. With glue.

Am I the asshole? Before you jumped on my throat, it was just glue. He's 12. Before you jumped on my throat, it was a cash bar. Before you jumped on my throat, you know how 12-year-olds can heal real fast. I'm Dr. Ravioli. My name is Dr. Ravioli, and I'm officiating this wedding. You guys need to understand, Dr. Ravioli is in there doing everything he can.

He's trying to stitch this kid's shoulder up with what? And stuff it with ricotta. It's like a weird kids in the hall sketch. I'm going to get out of here on this. Dan St. Germain again. The specialist. Dance Fatty Dance. Dance Fatty Dance.

And the change of podcast name. Jay is Working Stiff. Working Stiff, a wrestling podcast. Used to be WrestleRose. Daniel Van Kirk. Go see Rose Gold. Watch it. Come see us all live.

And a townie just hit me up too, said that they loved Wine Club, so I still appreciate people watching the movie. Watch that movie. Everything's at

DanielVanKirk.com. Superscalars.com and DanSaintGermain.net. DanSaintGermain.net. I'm surprised it's not a.org. I know. I mean,

.gov at this point. .edu. .edu. Let's get out of here ongov at this point..edu?.edu. .edu. Let's get out of here on this. How old is the grandfather who shot his grandson? Oh, man. He's 12, so he's got to be.

I'm going to try to get this one right. 78. That's exactly what I was going to say. Okay, what do you think? I'm going to go 69. 69, bro. It's Texas, dude. I was going to say like 64. Okay. Is that what you're going to go... Fuck it, dude. I'll go 69. Okay, dude. 69, bro. It's Texas, dude. I was going to say like 64.

Okay. Is that what you're going to say? Yeah. All right. Get your answers in, townies. One of you is two years off. Great. Do you want to go up or down two years?

66. I... But I... 71. Okay, what do you... You go up or down two years? I want to go down 76. Okay.

Get your answers in, Tannies, because this man who shot his grandson at a wedding thinking he was just shooting blanks. Not thinking. That's how his daughter was born. Here comes the douche. The douche is 62 years old. Oh!

I was on the right path. A bearable young'un. I was wrong, but he's more wrong. Do you know what I mean? For being that age. He's 11 years older than us. It's so close to us. Or 10 years older than me.

All right, you guys, that is the show. That's how we do it. It's just fun in Dumb People Town. Thank you for listening. And hey, tell a friend about Dumb People Town. That's how we grow and expand this thing. Same with that. Join our Patreon and all that good stuff.

And oh shit, we gotta get back to work