Dumb People Town - Dan St. Germain - Hampton Inn Exorcism

Episode Date: May 24, 2019

Dan St. Germain joins the show to discuss the tale of a hotel chain exorcism complaint!

Skypains, out of here. Couldn't make this up So listen to our podcast jam With co-host Armand Dan And dirt, don't be a jerk Cause when the music hits the funny hits We are gonna take you down Stick around, make a sound On your downies, Dumb People Town Hey townies, welcome to another episode of

Dumb People Town Population U Population St. Germain Dan St. Germain, welcome to the show Dumb People Town Roasting? Grain alcohol? I think it was probably grain alcohol. Falling down drunkness? Yeah, all those things go together. Just ruining birthday parties. The patron saint of ruining your birthday. The patron saint of your uncle showing up drunk at your kid's four-year-old's birthday party. I brought a gift.

My gift is me. My gift is in my other car. You only have one car. Who wants to drive my car? Nope. There are four. You get to drive me. There are four, Uncle Dan.

There are four. Okay. That takes two. I'll show you how to smoke cigarettes the safe way. No, there is no safe way, Uncle Dan. Can you make a ring when you blow it out? Nope. I can make a ring.

Stop. Can any of you don't start something? Well, the world is getting dumber, Dan Santraman. I know you're out there and you see it. I'm getting dumber by the moment. We are getting dumber. So the only way to fight back is through comedy. Our great fans send us these wonderful stories.

We got one story. One story, one shot. Let's jump into it right away because we got Dan and we'll talk about what Dan Santraman has going on. Here we go. Let's do it. Sent in by Hannah Noel at Hannah underscore Noel, N-O-E-L, 27. And I do have the Hannah Noel theory. Yeah. Really?

She said it was more than one shooter. Oh. And they were on Hannah Noel. I thought we were going to go Hannah Noel. They were on Hannah Noel. Hannah Noel sounds like a romance novel. It's the first Hannah Noel. Yeah.

Louisville, Kentucky. Louisville. We haven't done a lot of stories from Louisville, but they're coming from there. A Kentucky man claims- This is already good. This is already good. This is when you're surrounded by dumbness. And in fact, the Kentucky man-

Might be the smartest guy in this whole thing? Okay. Maybe. I haven't thought about it. He could be dumb, too. A Kentucky man claims his employer, the manager of a Hampton Inn in Hazard. Hazard County. That's where the Duke boys.

Them Duke boys. Punished him for not submitting to an exorcism and failing to fill out a form asking questions about his religious beliefs and sexual habits. Hang on a second. Wow. Is that part of the Hampton Inn's hiring practices? You got to go through an exorcism. It definitely isn't for the Red Roof Inn. They'll take whatever demonic spirit wants to work there.

Have you ever seen a Red Roof Inn? I put the red in the white. Are we going to hire him? I don't know. Has he filled out the exorcist form? They folded my towels into a pentagram. What does that mean? You just go in and the girl's like, like, puncturing

herself with the remote. You're like, oh, come on. I gotta use that afterwards. Out, Damon! Out! You guys, I stayed at a Red Roof Inn on my tour. My man. There's a menu. There's a menu in the Red Roof Inn. Different ways to kill yourself in the room.

You can do Harry Caray. It lists the price of everything. It says, we know how much our guests love our items, so just in case you decide to keep anything, here's how much we'll be charging you. And it's fitted sheet, flat sheet, comforter, curtains, towels, because they're just used to people stealing stuff,

I guess. We're going to tell you what you're going to be paying. We always say if the TV is screwed in and bolted down, then you know that it's not a great hotel. Right. Agreed. Agreed. Yeah.

It was one of those deals where we were going to be there for five hours because I wanted to get up and keep going to Orlando so I could go to Disney World. So I'm like, I don't care. Just wherever. Everything. So how many sheets did you buy you know i bought the menu give me everything for the menu a kentucky man claims his as i said his employer the manager of a hampton and punished him for not

submitting to an exorcism in a religious discrimination lawsuit, Leslie County resident Jason Fields claims he was harassed shortly after being hired as a front desk employee in June 2016 when his manager, Sharon Linden, found out he was getting divorced. So he's working at a Hampton Inn. Usually in Kentucky, it's just if you're Jewish. They're like, we need an exorcism. You got it. Let's get the horns off. Let's file them down. File them down.

Cut that tail off. So because he's getting a divorce, she's like, you need an exorcism. Wow. Sharon. Is that her way of saying, I need you inside of me? Like, is that a come on? Because you're getting divorced means, oh, you're working the night shift. You don't have anyone to go back to now.

Right. You'll take overnight, Jason. shift. We don't have anyone to go back to now. You'll take overnight, Jason. Sharon, according to the suit filed March 21st in Perry Circuit Court, told Fields she was a member of the Common Bond Christian Fellowship Ministries.

That's too long as well. That definitely includes robes and weird masks. Am I right? For sure. Probably letting a snake bite you. You know how crazy religion is? Every single, whether it's Judaism, Islam,

Christianity, Buddhism, as soon as you get to the level of looking like a wizard, it's gone off track. The train has gotten off track. The longer the road, the more fucked up. Wow. He started getting those long roads. You're going to ask

to fuck my wife next. 17 Rolls Royces? You want to meet with people locally once a week and say how you're doing and then sit quietly and hope for better things to happen in your life? Great. Fine. Yeah, sure. I'm religious in that sense. Right, but once we started

getting into uniforms and only wear this color and needing an animal. Do you need an animal or a uniform? That religion has gone too far Need an animal off the rails What do you need a goat for, Dave? You don't want to answer that

You need three women massaging your feet This religion's gone off the rails Off the rails Off the rails Once you start recording people. You know, who was that one guy that,

you know, the cult in Japan that they dropped the sarin gas? Oh, yeah, I do remember that. Yeah, they dropped the sarin gas,

killed a bunch of people. He was selling water of his feet, like his feet soaked water website. That was like the holy water. Foot water.

Really? Yeah. Well, Sharon, according to the suit filed March 21st in the Perry Circuit Court told Fields. Think of how confident you would have to be to be like, I'm going to sell my foot water. I mean, there are moments where I'm like, Jay, should we be selling merch at the show? I feel like Alex Jones doesn't for sure.

Oh, yeah. I'm sure he does. I have a theory on that. What? No, it's just a conspiracy. It's a conspiracy theory. She told him that she was a member of the Common Bond Christian Fellowship Ministries in Hazard and that the reason, quote, for his marital problems was that he had demons.

Yeah, well, maybe. And I hope he was like, sure, and I'm trying to divorce one of them right now. I'm exercising her as we speak. The courts aren't moving fast enough. Or maybe you are the demon, man, Jason Fields. The suit, which names Sharon Linden and Hampton Inn as defendants, alleges that Jason Fields was told if he was going to work for Sharon, he had to be cleansed.

Sharon, don't fuck around. And that's in quotes. Here's the deal, Sharon. You can do this if we're at the Linden. Right. But you work for the Hampton Inn, bro. That's not your

office. That's not your outfit. You don't speak for the Hampton Inn, but apparently she does, because now you can rope Hampton in here. I did a gig at the Fairfield Inn in Connecticut in February. They have a mini comedy club there in Connecticut. I didn't realize

that one of the 9-11 hijackers stayed there. That should be a claim to fame. I was like, can you show me where the room is? They're like, no, it's not around anymore. I'm like, yeah, it's definitely around. But you don't want that room.

She also said she had been cleansed three or four times, and it was similar to an exorcism. All right. No. I just fucking work here and put a name tag on. We're not. Do you want me to serve the cookies warm or not? That's literally what the question should be. That's it.

By the way, it's not like he came into work and was like, you must bow down to Satan and you're in room. Do you want two keys or one? Right. It wasn't like he was- He made the mistake of in the break room being like, going through a divorce. Going through a divorce. He shouldn't have said it.

As I mentioned, he wasn't arranging the muffins in the shape of a pentagram. He was not doing that. He was just showing up, mentioned offhand, I'm going through a thing. Told people when the shitty continental breakfast was. And was probably doing great. Right. Because he was happy to be away from his divorce. Sure, I'm casually eating a baby while I tell you this.

What's wrong with that? But it has nothing to do. The head is very soft. I stabbed a virgin man yesterday. So what? Where was I? Okay. In addition, Fields was given a form to fill out with questions about his

religious background if he had lustful thoughts whether he was conceived out of wedlock wow or had been sexually abused and if he had ever quote made a pact with the devil you know what that's i wish i could see this question you know what that's called? I wish I could see this questionnaire. Do you know what that's called? That's actually a W3. Yeah, that's not a W9. It's a W9, a W2. That's a W3 right there. That's the Wunderlich test. That's a W3?

Good Lord. She has this form, and I don't think she made it. No, it's probably that ministry. It's her ministry. Guys, I want to see these forms so bad. Please someone get us this form. Please. If you could get one of these forms, and next time we're in a club, switch them out for

all the comment cards. Oh my God. That would be great. Guys, we've got some forms we want you to fill out on the table. We've never gotten better feedback. This guy made a pact with the devil but he wants to come see another show.

All I know is they book Craig Shoemaker six times next year. We're going to take a quick break when we come back we'll dig more into this and talk to Dan about what he's up to right after these messages. Stick around. Make a sound.

There's more Dumb People Town. Hey guys, welcome back to Dumb People Town. Our guest on the show is the great Dan St. Germain. We've seen him roast people. We have read his writing. He's a fantastic writer and a great stand-up. He has a new album that's new-ish.

It's been out a little bit. People can pick it up. It is. He had no real winners here on 800-pound grill records. Available on all streaming services and my website, danaintgermain.net, where you can also get my dates. Come on. Get those dates and get that album.

Check him out live. Very, very good. I recently was watching online. I saw a great, I think, video of you at The Cellar. Was there a recent video of you? Oh, I was, yeah, I did. Well, I cut my own video. I did that live at the Comedy Cellar show they did on Comedy Central.

Great. And they cut up something nice for me there. But then I also, like, The Cellar records all your sets. Which is awesome. So you can just be like, hey, can I get that set? And I'm going to cut this out and I'm going to just release it. And I was like, I've had this bit for a while. It's not been on TV.

Let me just fucking throw it out. By the way, even if it's been on TV. Oh, I've done that, too. I just cut my old half-hour special closer, and I just put it out. Yeah. So I was like, fuck it. We're starting to do that on Instagram, because I feel like if you can't even on your Instagram put a bunch of your content on there, people can just noodle around and see like 40 minutes of your stand-up over time.

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I just did that for the, you know, I'm doing the Ric Flair roast at the end of the month and I did the Bruce Prichard roast last time. How many times will that be said? It'll be done. Me and Mike Lawrence started doing jokes and we realized we had the same woo joke. One of us is getting to that first. One of these woos is going to get killed. One of these woos is going to die, just like Ric Flair. Yeah, just like that. He's going to die soon. And Mike is so great.

I got my ass kicked at roast battling. I can't roast battle for shit, but I do have fun when I get asked to do the day as for shit. That's right. Which is very few and far between. But for some reason, I found a whole niche in this wrestling world. But yeah, it's- Amazing. But for some reason I found a whole Like a niche in this wrestling world But yeah it's Amazing And they can be made fun of

Because they're such big personalities And they have huge blind spots You can just go after all of them Oh it's It's anybody who thinks a comedian is a fuck up Just read any pro wrestler's Wikipedia There you go And then

It's insane Where is that going to be taking place? Caesars Palace And it's going to be on the Fight Network On the Fight Network Wow Fantastic FightTV.net And what going to be taking place? Caesars Palace. And it's going to be on the Fight Network. On the Fight Network. Wow. Fantastic. FightTV.net And what's the date on that? May 24th. It's Friday. It's at 6pm.

And it's all tied in with AEW is like they're doing their second pay-per-view, Double or Nothing. Wow. Which is going to be a huge pay-per-view. Dude, enjoy that. And again, check out the No Real Winners here. That's the album. That's the album. And I have a podcast about wrestling, Total F and Marks, and all things Comedy Network. I love it, dude.

Check all that stuff out. All right. So when we left this story, a man was asked to fill out a form that is the most invasive. Right. Like, it's worse than- Were you molested as a kid? Did you make a- Were you buried out of wedlock?

Yeah. Were you conceived out of wedlock? Conceived out of wedlock. Like, I don't know. Maybe. I wasn't there. My parents said no. When this is what happened.

What if he responds that I wasn't there because I wasn't a being until I was a baby? Fired. Right? Nem's fighting words. Yeah, he writes back,

it depends on what you consider a pact. Yeah. Maybe like a casual promise. I made a casual promise with the devil. We were a super pact. We raised money for other devils. I promised the devil I would work here until he turned you against the Lord.

Until he sent you down. When Jason Fields refused to provide the form or undergo the exorcism, imagine all those conversations. I'm not doing it, Sharon. No. Sharon. Okay. I'm not doing it. Hey, Sharon, I'm not doing it. Hey, you know what I'm doing? Organizing the keys.

Also, Sharon, if I made a pact with the devil, you think I'd be working at a fucking Hampton Inn? That's the best he could get me. I would at least be in an embassy suite. I would at least be in an embassy suite. I'd be at a W in New York, okay? Ian Schrager is the devil.

All right, sir. So the continental breakfast is tomorrow from 6 a.m. to 10. Please don't pay attention to the woman lighting candles in a circle around us. Sharon, I'm trying to check someone in. Get the hood off, Sharon. Sharon, stop spreading sage. Sage is not a bad thing. When Fields refused to provide the form or undergo the exorcism. His shift

and job duties were changed. He was not allowed to take days off. That's against the law. Did not receive a raise and was threatened with termination according to the suit. Sharon is mean. Also, he probably in some way is like, thank you.

I'm about to get paid. This is the best thing that's ever happened to him. Ever happened to him. Because he made that pact with the devil. That's right. So here's what I think. I do think this is an issue. It delivers in the way of litigation. I don't want to come down hard on a patriarchal society that has

created many situations and a power differential, but Sharon and women, unfortunately, have not been in the position of power for long enough to know how to properly keep a man down. You gotta keep him down through... You can't just do it through forms. This is gonna take

centuries, and hopefully we're auto-correcting right now, but this is gonna take centuries. The pendulum is swinging backwards. You can't go back to the Crusades. No. I mean, men have had hundreds and centuries to know how to keep a man down. And women don't. She's going to have to learn how to do it.

She'll figure it out. And there's growing pains. Linden, quote, this is a quote, Linden made it clear to Jason Fields that absent his adherence to her religious beliefs, specifically completing the packet, although I read it as specifically completing the G-damn packet. The GD packet. You get it. You GD get it done.

Of questions and consenting to a cleansing, he would not be allowed to work at Hampton Inn, according to a lawsuit filed by the attorney, Cheryl Lewis. Cheryl. Lewis did not immediately return a phone message. If I'm Cheryl Lewis, I'm all over this. You talk to everybody. Sherry Lewis was the woman who had lamb chop.

You know who lamb chop was? Cheryl Lewis. The little sock that would talk. The song that never ends. You talk to everybody. Sherry Lewis was the woman who had lamb chop. You know who lamb chop was? The little sock that would talk. The song that never ends. This is Cheryl Lewis. Cheryl Lewis is like the one person Kim Davis tells to settle down. You know, like when they go to the Cracker Barrel? They're like, all right, Sharon, I think you're going a little nuts with this. Sharon, they can't separate the bacon, onions, and green beans.

Why can't I do this? I want to order with her. You cannot bring your own Riesling. I'm going to talk to her with her. You cannot bring your own Riesling. I'm going to talk to Susan. Stop it. I brought my own Riesling. Stop it. I brought my own thermos.

No, no. At least three times the suit claims Sharon brought parishioners from her church to the hotel lobby to pray for Jason Fields while he was working. My God. All because he mentioned he was going through an divorce. Imagine you're trying to check in. Org, imagine you're about to have an affair. Like, you're two people having an affair, and you meet up, and then there's just people

praying in the middle of the lobby. You're like, you're right, this was a bad idea. Let's go back to our husband and wife. God doesn't want us to do this. I'm going to stay in a loveless marriage as opposed to dealing with these religious freaks.'s like group of people holding little candles singing el shaddai while you're trying to get a key for the man i just need an extra pillow i'm so sorry while fields did not participate he was embarrassed no shit you didn't participate jason uh he was embarrassed and claims

other employees overheard hotel guests talking about the incident. So they're like, oh, that's the guy who's got demons. Yeah, no, it's Sharon. She checked us in. Told us to steer clear of him. Jason eventually quit because of, quote, continuing harassment and discrimination, according to the suit. He's going to make a lot of money. An employee at the Hampton Inn referred questions about the lawsuit to Sharon. So they talked to Bart at the front desk desk and he was like, you know what?

I'm going to put you in touch with Sharon. You want to talk to Sharon about all this. Yeah, this is above my pay grade. Who was not working when we tried to contact her. She did not immediately return a phone message seeking comment. Lyndon also could not be reached at her church.

These people... She's like off the grid, as it were. And the church is where she stays WDRB Kentucky they went after they WBRD in Kentucky baby if you ever wonder wonder about the demons inside of me. They're living in a Hampton in Kentucky. Heck, Kentucky WBD. Yeah. In a statement, Hampton said they oppose discrimination and will investigate according to the Associated Press. The suit is seeking

a jury trial. That's how confident they are. There's going to be a settlement. There's going to be a settlement. My bro's going to get paid. How much do you think? That's it. That's going to be a settlement. There's going to be a settlement. Monetary damages. How much do you think? That's it. That's what I got for the story, but let's get at it just on that little idea. How much do you think they'll have to pay this guy? A million to shut him up?

You think so? They're praying for him while he's working. It's not going to be more than a million. It's not going to be more than a million. They're going to want it to go away. It'll be $500,000. Yeah, I think that's about it. It'll probably be $500,000 and go down to $350,000 and it's like he're gonna want it to go away it'll be 600 it'll be 500 000 yeah yeah yeah i think that's about it'll probably be 500 and go down to 350 and it's like he's gotta take you're harassing him you're demoting him you're not threatening with termination you're not giving

him a day off you're not giving him so there's worker infractions people into his workplace to other people to harass him while he's working so next time time you go to a Hampton Inn and it's $89.99 instead of $69.99, this is why. Blame this guy. Or blame this woman. Let's not blame the victim. Let's blame this guy. Let's not blame the victim. Alright, there you go. That's a mini.

That's a mini. That's a show. That's a hell of a show right there. Dan St. Germain, again, follow you on the Twitters. Follow me on Instagram, danstgermain.net danstgermain. Again, follow you on the Twitters. Follow me on Instagram, DanStStGermain. DanStStGermain.net DanStStGermain.net is the website. I'm actually doing the Punchline next month. Rest in peace. I hope they find a new home.

I'll be in Vermont. I'm doing a southern tour. I'll be around. Check them out live and check out the album No Real Winners here. If you can see them on the Ric Flair I'm i'm sure it is gonna be unreal check that out and uh oh shit we're gonna get back to work stick around make a sound. Calm your down.

It's Dumb People Town.