Dumb People Town - Daniel, Randy, & Jason - Happy New Year!

Episode Date: January 3, 2023

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Skypains Avenue Hey townies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population U. Population U. Population U. And us. This is our final episode at Starburns. Next week. What is this, the 27th?

The 3rd. The 3rd. This is the 3rd. This is January 3rd. First of all, happy new year. Happy new year. Happy Honda days.

Merry Chex Mex. And by the way, this is how much, and this is going to be somewhat of a love letter to Starburns because of how great they've been to us through the last five plus years almost six years really yeah that we've been here first of all this show was not dumb people town until it came here that's right literally I think we came January 2017 it's it's it's it's six years so so

you know this is again and in this final gesture, and we got to give a huge shout-out to our buddy Aristotle Acevedo. The greatest name never to be on The Shield. He's like five characters in the TV show The Shield. And incredible. Like an unbelievable producer, unbelievable engineer. Lovely person. Every step of the way friend. And so just I love him.

So I just want to say thank you. And again, you know, the transition, this is the way the peaceful transition of power should happen around January 6th. So these guys. God damn it, I'm going to say it. So, you know, these guys, we're recording this at Starburns. That's how nice they are that they're like, we're going to let you record this first episode in the new in the new thing but in the old thing and here we are we've got it so I don't understand what you just I just meant that they allowed us to record one episode in this new so we have to give a huge thank you to the late Jason Smith

who we miss very dearly whose passing affected all of us deeply but he was originally the one the reason why we came came here in a big way because his ability to see a vision for what this show could be was essential, right, Dan? I mean, it helped bring it to the next level. And then Landromo and everybody here, you know, who... Let's do it at the end. We'll do that at the end. Let's get silly first.

And so there is no guess. It's just the three of us. And so we figured that was a great way to kind of leave yeah you guys are in that chair yeah you're with us you join us in this lights are low the ties are undone and we're gonna do one story i said my favorite videos on tiktok are i this is tina so-and-so this is my first drink at the thing and then the next shot is you shut up i told that bitch to eat the cake we're very rarely like that i feel like i'm daniel van kirk this is the last night of moon tower and this is my first drink if you

came back the end of it maybe it would just be like hey i'm daniel van kirk no i'm ready to go to bed like merry christmas and hoop we don't, we never get out of control. I think we just get tired. Sometimes we get loose. I guess maybe if it's Montreal, I would be doing the second video with an A&W burger and be like, hey, I'm Daniel Van Kirk and this is- No, we're singing at P. Terry's at two in the morning

with an acoustic guitar. All right, shall we get into a story? I'll get into one right now because the world's still getting dumber. That's the good news. Even as we transition from one place to the next place. Are you ready for this? Still getting dumb.

Now, Dan, I know you've been to Disneyland many times. Many times. Not in a long time, but many, many, many times. How many years has this been since you've been there? If you had to guess. Still where the years are on the house. September, the Rose Golds. September 2017 is the last time I was at Disneyland.

Okay, so six years. when we five and a half years all right here's the headline you ready this was sent in by kyle andrews at late night nachos late night nachos you know you know him you love him video showing days daisy video showing disney visitors hiding child in stroller to avoid paying admission sparks debate. Now, I don't know where I fit on this thing. First of all, what's the debate? Right. Like, to a special. Sparks opinion?

Right. Maybe? Why do you have that stroller? I guess, yeah, I guess the debate would be. Why are you bringing that stroller in here? So if, there's a bunch of coats on it. Don't worry about it. It's our coat stroller.

Why are your coats coughing? I don't think you have to pay for baby stroller level kids. They make you pay for everything. Disney has gotten so expensive. It's really gotten out of hand. It is out of hand. I remember when Disney was like 75 bucks and it got in. I saw TikToks of people literally had done like an algorithm spreadsheet of what their buying power was 20 years ago for their family to go versus now.

And the inflation, it was in the like thousand like two three thousand difference they were like we do i'll never forget being on that uh plane with the big guy and no mickey michael eisner and hearing his sort of just w Walt's head. Just Walt's frozen head. Just hearing his sort of attitude towards the people who go there. And it was shocking to me that it was like. If you can. It was heading in this direction. You know, here's the thing.

It used to be. Get them for all they can. If you can afford it, it is absolutely wonderful. Now it's even if you can afford it, there's like seven different ways to be in certain types of lines and passes that like it's become more management than enjoyment do you know what i mean it's like college we're spoiled at some point is it worth it you could you could pick the kids up at three run down for a night for like like we could do a quick in and out it'd still be expensive don't get me wrong what six flags no i mean disney disney you could you could do a quick in and out. It'd still be expensive, don't get me wrong. What, six flags?

No, I mean Disney. Disneyland. Yes, yes, Disneyland. But I'm just saying like for people who really plan and fly. Yeah, you don't live here. All right, so a video. It's at least $5,000. I'm going to tell you that Avatar ride where you ride a banshee is one of the most insane things I've ever ridden.

That wasn't a banshee, and that actually was just someone in the parking lot. Homeless guy in the parking lot. A video appears to show Walt Disney guests pushing a young child in a stroller to avoid paying the child's... Okay, so

now we're getting more of the clear. To avoid paying the child's parking fee. So Dan's right. I don't think you pay for babies and they're trying to say this is just a really big baby dude's dragging his knuckles on the ground in the video which is up on monday baby how old's this little one i'm 14 all right and set to the viral how would they know tiktok sound the group could be seen waiting in line to purchase tickets for the amusement park with the baby-sized stroller. The video then transitioned to the clip of the same group standing in the entrance inside the Disney park,

at which point the two women who were pushing the stroller helped lift a young girl dressed in a Disney princess outfit out of the baby carriage. And she doesn't know? Is it a pram? Is it like a lay down? I don't know. Yes, maybe. Well, you probably can see the video. When Disney ticket prices go up, a text caption on the thing, while the TikTok user, poor

kid, was in an infant car seat. Here's the thing. Disney is forcing these things to happen. That's- Well- Right? Dan, Dan- I mean, you drove there and you knew what the price was.

Sure. Yes. I'm not saying it isn't too high. How much- Wait, wait, wait. Let me just say this. I think the fights you see and the anger you see on airplanes with people having to bring their bags on the planes because airlines are charging for every single bag. And so people are now stuffing their stuff and they're really mad when you're checking their stuff. That's a whole new level of anger that didn't need to come into the equation.

If airlines wouldn't have been like, ooh, we can make some money off of checking bags. It just feels like you're getting screwed. It's like you're getting screwed. Ticket price for Walt Disney's World Park guests age 10 or older start at how much? 10 or older? How much for the day? For the day. Not a park hopper?

No. World or land? day? For the day. Not a park hopper? No. World or land? Land. Disney World Park. World? For a day at one park for what's the age? 10 or older. 10 or older.

Uh-huh. 115. 175. Get your answers in townies because it is $109 a day. Very good, Dan. Yeah. While tickets for guests three to nine start at how much? $65.

Jay? $50. You're not going to believe this. $104. Oh, so they buy this thing for $5. No, no, no. Under three do not need a ticket to enter Walt Disney World or the Disneyland Resort.

I mean, Disney, look, you are in a capitalist economy. Yes. I understand. It is supply and demand. You have the right to do that. Sure. But if you're going 109, 104, what the fuck are we even talking about? So here's the thing.

No, Disney. Put it under a, call it 96. 98. Yes. Danny, at Disney, you are in a capitalist society. You may charge whatever. You can get to charge to get people to go. But expect people to try to get around your bullshit.

Number one. And number two, you cannot say we are here to give you the greatest experience of your life. You have to admit the fact that we are trying to gouge you at the gate. We're here to gouge the fuck out of you. Just admit it. Yeah. Get your money. Go get it because this is a capitalist society.

You can get whatever you want. You get the price that you can get. Yeah. But then't be like we love our guests we no you don't no you don't you want to fucking screw them that's what you don't you don't love your one hand washes the other like you i believe you do have people day to day in the parks that love the guests but they got to go through the barrier of the people who set the prices and run the numbers and it's like those two things don't match you put those people in a bad position right that's what i was going to say yeah if you're the cast member right official term and you do you have it's your job to like whoa whoa let me look through this stroller like the position you're in well no no there's not the cast members those are

people who work the gate every person who works at a disney park is called a cast member even the gate person yes the person yes yes yes so that they're all called cast members so they have to check the stroller i don't do you this is if you told me if you told me daniel hey today you're on stroller checks you're gonna i would never let through. If a person took five steps past me, didn't even go around a corner, and pulled their eight-year-old out of a stroller, I would go,

guys, come on. Right. Guys, do that further down. Right. But if they're all the way around, I go, I'm not going to... No, I'm not going to fight them. Listen to me. Because the kid also... What you're doing, the core memory, the trauma core memory possibly, you're creating for the kid.

Of getting the kid caught. Yes. Getting caught. The kid's like, what did I do wrong? What did I do wrong? Like, well, your parents are cheaters and they don't have money. Have a good day. You're a pawn in the game of life.

Also, the parents would be like, this is too expensive. And I understand the parents put that kid in that position. I get that. It doesn't matter. Disney put the parents in that position. Disney put everyone in that position. All right. How many times has the video been viewed?

More than how many times? Oh, this is... It's probably been viewed more than this. Right, but as of? As of when it was dropped by late night. Where did we find it? Was it TikTok? TikTok.

How many more times? Viewed? Yeah, viewed. 2.6 million. Jay, what do you think? 5.3 million. Get your answers in, Tony. 6.3 million. Yes. There you, Townies. $6.3 million.

There you go. Very good, Jay. All right, so attempt to gain the free entry described as the incident, the funniest thing we'd ever seen. While noting that they decided to share the video, we paid for our tickets and witnessed the funny thing we've ever seen, so we decided to share it so you can laugh too. So someone else paid for the ticket.

We make it funny. I don't know if I call that funny. Well, they didn't make it funny. In response to the video, many viewers were equally amused with some applauding the Disney guest for the money-saving tactic. This is like a Reddit thing. Who's the asshole? While others revealed that they have also had similar techniques with their own children. So other people are like, we did it.

And like Dan, we went around the corner and pulled them out of the goddamn thing. Goddamn right, you did it. You forced us to do it by making it unaffordable. We just teach our kids to lie about their age but this is epic one person commented while another said my daughter is four but still passes for two you do what you gotta do see my nephew is 10 and passes for 13 wow it's like a conversation every time like no he's he's under 10 now he's not but like yeah been there done that somebody else said the video also prompted responsive users claiming to have worked at conversation every time like no he's he's now he's not but like yeah been there done that somebody

else said the video also prompted responsive users claiming to have worked at disney parks who said that the parks know about the attempts of course and allow it dan you're right it's not worth the fight work the front gates trust me we know we just told we are just told to let it go good that's what they said one person said i worked the entrance in the past and and let me tell you uh let me tell y'all they didn't pay enough to care that much. Sure, that's the other thing, too. I see a stroller. Yeah, so you're not a shareholder.

You're not a shareholder. Someone else is getting rich off this park. You're getting your hourly fee. This is why Dan is so great. Yes. This is what it says. Quote, it looks like the cast member noticed. So they do say that, Dan, you know your shit.

You know it's front and center. I do. Front and back. But she pretended not to see the little girl, but her smile says it all. So she saw it. She smiled.

Got it. And while many viewers were amused or supported the idea, others condemned the group in question how embarrassing one viewer claimed

while someone else said, and that just ruins it for everyone else. So the other people are like, why do you get to not pay? You know what I mean? There's that faction of people that are't even shove it up your ass shut up then we get into the whole student loan thing nobody is here to hear us talk about but it's like do you do you so this is it says all the best comment about it you'll love this all the sound like biden for a second yeah you do you you do. You do you. You do you. You do you. Don't worry about other people.

Don't worry about other people. It's all right. Josh does. Josh does. I like suit. All the negative comments on here clearly don't have kids age three to five that are not tall enough for most rides.

Good job. We did this too until about five. Others defended Disney park visitors by claiming that amusement parks, quote, make enough money. To all the negative comments, Disney makes enough money. This is what we were saying. And they aren't paying your bills, so leave these people alone. That's right.

Let me ask you. Leave them alone. If you could roll it back a few years and you could roll it back about ten, would you do this? 100%. So why don't you ask millions? Why don't you ask if I've ever lied about my kid's age to get them in somewhere to get a lower price? But this is a little elaborate. So does that also mean

if you were with another couple and they said they're doing it with their kid, you'd be like, yeah, go for it. Yes, 100%. 100%. See, I think I wonder if I had the money, I'd just be like, I'll pay for your kid. So here's the deal. If I was going- That's the point.

If I was going to a sort of singular place, a place that's owned by a family, or getting- You're affecting the bottom line. You're affecting the bottom line. Which you technically are, but the bottom line is pretty big. Which you are, but I'm like, it's in response to how crazy it's gotten. So I'm going to say- Like a haunted house. Like a family-owned haunted house.

You have to pay. Does Disney make money off the food? The overpriced food that you're going to be buying? Yes, they do. Does Disney make money off of the trinkets and shit that you're going to buy for your city? The overpriced stuff? Every princess dress that you've bought.

But they don't make money on your memory. So that's what I'm saying, Dan. They kind of do. So that's why comedy clubs don't give a shit all the time about if someone comps someone in. Why? Because what they make on the drinks and the food. Right, they're a bar

with a show. They're a bar and a restaurant that has a side show. And if you can make money on the tickets on the show, then you're golden. You're over the top. That's gravy. But the truth is, they're gonna make $40 per person on what they eat and drink at the show. So they want you in the room. So Disney should be like, great, another kid in here that we can feed all day.

I just like that they, like, how old would you go to then to do, like, would you do it with a seven-year-old? Hey, if the kid fits. I go, yeah. If the kid fits. If the kid fits. If the kid fits in the store, you throw a a bunch of coats on him too, and you make him look smaller. Yeah.

Just be like, he's got really active glands, and then just push him through. What do you think Disney charges if you had a child with physical challenges in a wheelchair? Do they charge for that? Oh, they'll charge you everything. Probably they'll charge. Really? I wonder. They probably charge more.

They'll charge everything. Guys, that is the first story. There you go. Story number one. When we come up, we'll find out what Dan's doing in January. We'll find out what we're doing

and we'll tell you about a very special show we're doing at the beginning of February, the last night of the first week in the beginning of February. We'll get to it later. It's Dumb People Town

with just us. We love you guys. We'll be right back. Stick around. Make a sound sound there's more guys the new year is almost upon us and whether you're making big changes or just settling back into a constant routine chances are you could use some audio accompaniment on your journey i know that's the way it is for me for all all of us. It's crucial here. The fact is

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That's buy, B-U-Y-R-A-Y-c-o-n.com slash dpt to score 15 off by raycon.com slash dpt hey guys welcome back to the show we've got uh this is it our final show here at starburns uh daniel tell these lovely people what you got going on in january um starting the 18th every wednesday every week uh at 7 30 you can come to the Lyric Hyperion Theater. Great theater. A comedy show from me and Irene, too. And I hope you do. What's the format, Dan?

Just a standard showcase show. Wait, Irene's going to be there, too? Mm-hmm, folks. Yeah, I'm sure it'll probably be both of us up top whenever we're both there. That's fun. And is the show called Dan and irene comma to no i believe it's going to be called the lyric uh the lyric comedy hour love it should be dan and

irene comma comma tio well it would be daniel daniel uh but yeah yeah i think it's i think it's the lyric comedy hour sounds awesome um great just kind of like a classic fine we'll do it dan yes we will come on you know you drop-in pull. You know that. Here's the deal. We will be... Are you done? What other things do you have going on? That's great.

Starting on the 18th. Yeah, and then on February 4th, on that Saturday, I'm doing stand-up and the Risk podcast storytelling show. The best. That's going to be... Kevin Allison.

Yep, that's going to be at Sketchfest. And then the very next night, the three of us are doing a live Dump People town like this. Everybody come out to that show. If you live in the Bay Area, anywhere in the Bay Area, including Petaluma,

it's a Sunday night. Sunday's for the boys. Sunday's for everybody. Sunday girls. Come see this show. We want to sell out Cobbs. February 5th, Sketch Fest. We haven't been up

to San Francisco in so long. It's going to be so much fun and man, we have good guests in the hopper too. What if I told you there was going to be a Greenlee? So we'll see. We'll see.

But, yeah, so that's that stuff. And then other than that, you know, April is Denver with the Grawlix, and everything's up at the Moon Tower. Moon Tower might happen. We'll see. It'll be great. All right, so here's the deal. You guys are going to be there.

We will. We've got – right, we've got Denver. We'll be at the South, the Landmark Club at Comedy Works, the 19th, 20th, and 21st of January. Kiss is opening for you guys there? Kiss is opening for us there. We're going to talk about that. Mini Kiss.

That was so fun. And then we'll be in San Diego, the 2nd, the 3rd, and the 4th at the American Comedy Company. And then the 5th, we're coming all the way, we're driving all the way up to Golden State or getting up there or flying up or whatever. We might come back that Saturday. We're going on the fifth of, we're going up to Cobb's Comedy Club

to do a live Dumb People Town. We got other stuff happening too. We're gonna be at a casino outside of Cincinnati. I'm very excited about that. That's happening in March. March 3rd. March 3rd. Or 4th.

March 4th, I think. I believe March 4th. That's great. That's happening March 3rd. March 3rd. Or 4th. March 4th, I think. I believe March 4th. That's great. That's right in the sports dead zone pocket. Perfect. Perfect. Right pre-tournament. Right, right.

It might be conference tournament time. So it'll be really fun. Wherever we are, we'll be at the Sportsbook hanging out and then doing a show later that night. And then April, we'll be at Moon Tower. And then we're working on potentially another a couple of shows up in alaska uh so we're figuring that out we loved it we're also working on maybe a may little dumb run we are going to work on that too we just have to sort of figure out the dates on all that because this

might happen in may we'll figure all that out and uh we'll get it all to you superscripts.com let's jump into another story dan you ready yes um here we go okay hampton yount man okay she's still still qualified i want it it is hampton is a hampton man yeah hampton man arrested for damaging car at dealership to see if it could take it what what are you doing sir kicking at that mirror hampton and i can't help but wreck this car uh hampton man arrested for damaging car at dealership to see if it could take it. This was sent in by Ace of Finance at Dragon ILM. Dragon ILM. In life.

Drag on ILM. In life, man. No, no. drag it out in life drag on ilm in life man no no so i wonder if this guy was doing like those like let me of light and let me jump across the hood of the car and see if i can slide but he wanted to see if the car could take if the car could take it right i'll do i'll get this car if it can take the car can't take it i mean it's like also there I ask you guys a dumb question? Right Dan you got a new car Can I ask you a dumb question? Yes I don't This is a little

Inside baseball Do they know where we're going? What do you mean? Like next week Does their audience know where I mean it's not going to affect the feed No Nothing's going to change

Well I mean the show You're going to see a lot of Cool changes Visually it's going to change. I just thought it was like, oh, this is my last Starburns. But then I thought, my Starburns story, not Dumb People Town, ever. But did we told? We're going to All Things Comedy.

Yeah, you'll see us there. All Things. ATC, All Things Comedy. But also, you're going to see us right where you always see us. I know, you'll hear us right where you always see us. But wait until you find all the fun stuff. That's right. I'm just like, are we the worst promoters?

We're terrible. Okay, here we go. Gainesville, Florida. Why would we not? Of course. Why would we not? What would you do anywhere else? Tom Petty's hometown.

If you have a car dealership in Gainesville and you offer test drives for people, you have to know that something... With the University of Florida in town, you'll be part of a crime. If you have a car dealership in Florida, every day when you lock up, you have to say to yourself, hope they're here tomorrow. Yeah. Hope these are here tomorrow. Check the cars for alligators.

All of it. You could put Tim Tebow out in front of your thing trying to defend the lot, and they would still get crushed. Ready? Jason Joe Flanagan. Oh, God. Jason Joe. There was a girl we knew, Lauren Jo Flegel.

Not Jason Joseph. We knew a girl named Lauren Jo Flegel. Lauren Jo Flegel. Not Jason Joseph. We knew a girl named Lauren Jo Flegel. Lauren Jo Flegel sounds... Lauren Jo sounds like a country star, and then you get to Flegel, and you're like, she's making yarmulkes. But Jason Jo... Jason Jo Flanagan.

There's so many ways you can go with that name. JJF of Hampton was arrested yesterday morning after damage to a car was reported at the Gainesville Kia dealership on North Main Street. What kind of a car do you think it was? Do we get to guess? Kia Sorento? That's my guess.

Oh, my God. Gainesville Police Department responded to a report of damage to a car at the dealership and items missing from another car. A review of surveillance video. Wait, was the other car supposed to take it, too? I don't know. I want to see if they all could take it. I want to see if he could take it too? I don't know. I want to see if they all could take it. I want to see if he could take it. A review of surveillance video at the dealership reportedly showed a man, later identified

as JJF, swinging a metal sign at a car at about 5 a.m., breaking windows and causing how much damage? Oh, my God. Friends? I would say $7,000. $7,000? $28,000. $28,000?

Townies? Get your answers in. Ooh, one of you were right. $4,000. Oh27,000? $28,000. $28,000? Townies? Get your answers in. Ooh, one of you were right. $4,000. Oh, I was close. Still, like way too much. Also with the sign. Swinging a sign.

And you know it's their sign. So part of them is like, we shouldn't have left the sign out. Either they left that or he pulled it out of the ground. He's like the King Arthur of Florida. That's right. Yeah. Alex Callahan. Yeah, right. Alex Callow? Yeah, exactly.

He pulled it from a stone. Yeah, it's a Ron Johns surf shop sign. Employees of the dealership told the officer that the man was still at the dealership when they arrived. Okay, so this is a guy who now you know that this person is. Where have you guys been? Yeah. I get here early. First to the show, first to the party.

Welcome to the party. Your two cars on the end can't take it i just want to let you know that employees of the dealership told the officer the man was still at the dealership when they arrived and he knocked on the door and asked for pliers so he could help his friend start the car this is drugs this is this is so you come into work some guy's hitting a fucking car with you're like i'm gonna be so bold They won't know that they even need to stop You call the cops And you know he didn't

Here's what Yeah the knocking I'm gonna do A little help over here I'm trying to hot wire this car He's got a plier This is what I'm gonna say He just knocked on the door

Yeah Pliers Just said pliers Yeah Pliers Nothing like can I have some Picked his head in Pliers

Pliers One of those real high pitched Pliers Pliers Y'all got like pliers pliers y'all got pliers pliers you got pliers and he's like pointing somewhere where he thinks it is and he's like pliers like do i like open to drawer open to drawer pliers he knocked on the door asked for pliers i don't want to forget this end part so that he could help his friend start the car which he said his friend has purchased now as far as i remember from when i

read this there's no friend no this is like when diana ross i'm my own best friend this is like when diana ross at the oscar was it the oscars she said it's my birthday today she's like it's my birthday i want everyone to sing happy birthday to me and they did this was like in the beginning of march or something the end of february her's in May. I'm like, what is that? What a weird flex. It was so weird. I was like, I can't believe Diana Ross is doing this to everybody. Meanwhile, this is the same thing. My friend wants to start. What friend? He bought the car. Where?

Here. Oh. He bought this Kia, and now he needs pliers to start it. All right, they're over there. An employee who went to check on the car in question, means somebody entertained this guy's like i'll go with you notice the damage to the vehicle while trying to get the man's name he reportedly saw the man enter another car and remove some items for walking away at this point it's a little on the people who work there sure like you i'm not saying find him don't like but aren't all the

cars open in the showroom are we back to where we are on the lot with the disney thing though if you don't own this lot and you start to see some crazy shit happening, what, am I going to go put my life on the line with this nut job? You should call the cops immediately. They did. And then he just kind of walked around with them. I hope he kept trying to sell them. Yeah, okay, that

car you're breaking into right there, that's good mileage on that. You're breaking into a Kia Optima, but I don't know. To me, like I said, you're more of a Sorrento category. Let me ask you, what's it going to take to get you to break into one of these cars over here? You tell me. The responding officer reported that he found Jason Joe Flanagan, who matched the description given to him by dealership employees.

Guy wielding a giant sign? JJ? JJ Flanagan? JJ. Walking a few blocks away and detained him. So he didn't get into a car that day. They weren't able to close the deal. But what's he like holding cup holders and like-

I know what- Mat, floor mats. What are you taking from the inside of a car? Weather tech mats. Post Miranda. Don't think I've ever seen that phrasing in any dumb people's stock. Post Miranda is a- He wrote Hamilton.

Yeah. Am I wrong? Post Miranda. Post Miranda. Right. My name is Jerry Joe Flanagan. There you Right. My name is Jerry Joe Flanagan. There you go. My name is Jason Joe Flanagan.

And there's a million cars I haven't stolen. But just you wait. Just you wait. There's a million cars I haven't broken in. Flanagan reportedly admitted it to damage. Admitted it. He admitted it in it. He admitted it in it.

God damn it, he admitted it in it. To damaging the car. Saying it was purchased by a friend of his, and then he was, quote, this is why he was there, he was testing to see if it had bulletproof windows. Hey, man. Hey. So you shot at it, right? Sign.

You shot a gun at it. You bought a Sereno. You didn't buy the Popemobile. I don't know why it's got to be. Remember when Elon tried to test his unbreakable windows on his truck? And the whole thing broke? Yeah, it broke right there. Oh, did you see the video of Chappelle introducing Elon Musk?

I think it's all great. The booing this dude got. It can go great. It can go great. And he's raising his hand like I'm rocking it right now. Like that is how. Sometimes I wish I had that tuition. That insulated and how like he doesn't even hear the booze you know

chapelle enjoyed it well chapelle was like don't boo him yeah i was like i hear some cheers and some booze and i'm like i don't hear dave i don't hear any cheers i hear a lot of booze i heard some cheers there were some chairs flanagan has been charged with burglary to an unoccupied vehicle that's an interesting distinguishing mark. Right. And criminal mischief with damage to property of over $1,000. She's being held on a $15,000 bond. Okay.

I'm going to ask you guys. How old? I can't wait. How old is Jason Joe Flanagan? The man they call JJ. JJ Flan. How old is Jason Joe Flanagan? I think he is

29 years old. 29. He's got the power to be up all night. 5 a.m. 5 a.m. He's got the strength and power to be up all night. He's a science swinger. Rip a sound out of a wall and then he also hasn't lived enough to know the difference between science versus... Real or imagined, he has a friend. Real or imagined.

And he's trying to help that friend to make sure, well, if you bought that Kia, I need to know if it has bulletproof let me start it for you and i'll do the test i'll do my own test drive right things have not worked out for this guy he's 56 years 56 yeah 20 what did you say 29 townies okay get your answers in jason joe flanagan, JJF, is 46 years old. Oh, yeah. Look at this guy. He looks good. I don't know.

Take a better look at that weird haircut line. He's a little blotchy. Oh, yeah. It looks like some of his hair cut. That's it. I'll do it myself. Looks like he got his hair cut in a bouncy house. His beard is so much better groomed than his head of hair.

Right. Also, I look at a guy like this and I go, you get a full head of hair? Yeah, this guy. That seems unfair. He gets, look at how thick that hair is that's a beautiful lustrous head of hair right why does he get that I don't know but I know he looks like eat what with what he's wearing he looks like the doctor and the patient right it's like are you performing this on yourself yeah sure yeah yeah he's well he's himself and his friend.

Yeah. There's story number two. There's story number two. Yeah. Story number three, we're going to have a few memories. Oh, thanks. And a little send off to Starburns that some of our favorite stuff. Some of our favorite stuff of what we enjoyed in the last six years that we've done this show here.

So stick around after the break. There's more of this. More Dumb People Town right after this. Stick around. Make it sound, more Dumb People Town right after this. Stick around. Make it sound for more Dumb People Town. Hey, guys. Welcome back to DPT. As we send off and thank Starburns once again for an amazing run,

some of the highlights as we've gone back through this whole thing. Yeah, I'm curious to hear what some of yours are. So obviously a running bit. I wonder if we have the same. A running bit that stayed with us. The Ryan Sickler where things are inside of a CVS.

That was episode two. Episode two. So it was the cheese. Where do I find the sliced cheese? Someone came into a CVS. Was that episode two or was that a later segment? No, it was episode two and it kept coming back. It was two people who found themselves alone in a CVS

because they thought they were being robbed. So all the employees went and hid. Because someone asked for this. And they were there trying to find sliced cheese. And our bit, which we made that week, is where is the sliced cheese and it's always between two random things that you would find in cbs the whole bunchers and the depends the motor oil and the crutches yeah next to the batteries and the chocolates you know right next to the

styrofoam coolers and the outdated halloween decorations one of my favorite stories there's two i mean it's great i could think of more. But one of my all-time favorites was throwing the poop out the window with Keegan-Michael Key. Oh, my God. And my Aunt Connie and Uncle Ken were here that day as well. Oh, my gosh. That's right. And just that act out of that date and that woman thinking she needed. And then the poop got stuck on the windowsill.

And so then she tried to reach and I think she was trying to get the knock and then she got stuck in the window Between this is like all on a first date. It's like every possible Conceivable thing I go wrong. So you go to do something that is a little so that had been a better way to end How I met your mother. Yes, sure You go to do something a little bit sus right and then it comes literally to bite you in the ass Yeah, I mean I to me my i would say i'm gonna say it's a collective amount of things because as much as i enjoy doing this in the studio i think it's wonderful there is an energy to doing the shows live sure and specifically when

we were doing them at largo at largo the The energy in the crowd. Are you talking about Paul and Will? No, you're talking about the Greenlee. Energy during a Greenlee. Will Arnett, but the energy during the Greenlee live. The idea of it live. Did Dan write it or did Greenlee write it? The stakes feel so high.

So when Dan reveals each one, it is an insane crowd. But remember Will? Will left. Will was like, I'm going to punch this guy. You know he said, I'm going to drive to Florida tonight. And punch him in the face. It was the – but all that is Dan. I mean, so it's really – I mean, it's greenly setting it up.

Yeah, because it's so wild. So Dan had to ape that form. Yeah, Dan did such a good job of deking us out. Daniel, you did such a good job. And also of choosing the pattern. Because the best was like, I got it. I got it. I got it.

And Daniel was like, you definitely don't have it. The second you say you have it, you're going to get the next four wrong. And he did. And he did. He got the next three wrong. That was fun. And so those moments to me so fun so those moments to me are moments where you say this thing that has come across are

this this concept for this show and by the way that wasn't baked into greenlee articles that's an idea that dan came up with as a game to play this guy who over yeah but i can do that because of my trust in in you guys but the over explaining of stuff wasn't like it wasn't like at the end of every article greenlee's like did i write this or just right dan had to come up with that game and then the energy of that game live is is unbelievable and it highlights kind of the other because as we've often highlighted in this show it goes three ways either the people are dumb the cops are dumb or the person covering it does something dumb and then you sometimes the victims

all three the victims don't sometimes everybody is dumb in this scenario yeah and i love that now sort of in recent times we've now come across this didn't exist at the very beginning of this the sort of i know it was around but it certainly wasn't as prominent, the whole Reddit thing of who's the asshole. That's really fun to determine because we don't know. First of all, we're not always on the same side. Oh, remember the cake wedding? That was recent, right?

Yes. Dude, the name your kid had the same name as the dog? And who was the asshole there? I kept switching throughout that whole article. So that, to me, those Greenlee things are just, they were so.

Was it named, she named her dog the same name as their kid? Yes. Was that what it was? Yes. And then like you can't. But they had already said they were Merlin, right? Wasn't that what it was?

I don't know. I don't remember. It's so bad. It's so good. Well, I have an idea for a Patreon for this week, and it'll be the memory that didn't make it into your final. So like the one that was just there along. You're like, I'm deciding what it was.

So the Greenlee thing for me, I have my other moment. Nice. And my other thing that I want, and we'll share that on Patreon. I mean, I also can't like. Don't save it. No, it's okay. I have so many, but some of that um some of that wish we had on video when the face jason manzoukas was making when we did the toe the toe drinking the toe and he was just like stop i need you to stop i mean the moment and we did have this on video i would

say like in a recent time in the in the twist of you know the idea that you know you had daniel to do uh each of us bring a story maybe the trees great guy on oh my god that we had Daniel to do each of us bring a story. Remember we had the Cheese Great guy on? Oh my God. Remember we had him on? Remember we had Mason Tackett? That's what I'm talking about. Who steals a cheese? Great.

Cheese. He has a cheese. Yeah. It's from his trailer. Jason's reveal of the name of the psychologist who did the thing

in 1972. So recent and great. Robert Ravioli. Robert Ravioli. Dr. Robert Ravioli. Which is a 30 Rock B story. Or Arrested Development. Yes, 100%. He's like, if you told me Robert Ravioli became Chef Boyardee,

I would be like, okay. He started as Robert Ravioli in his real life. Then he transitioned into Chef Boyardee. I would be like, okay. He started as Robert Ravioli in his real life. Then he transitioned into Chef Boyardee. At Le Cordon Bleu and then became Chef Boyardee. All that stuff, just so much, literally so much fun. And to me, it shows where this show, whenever you have an idea for something, that it sort of takes on a life of its own. Like we couldn't see where these things would go. And for that to do, those moments to me are always the ones that make my heart leap with

joy because we couldn't see that this would then become a thing. And it could be something that could make crowds of people howl with laughter when you reveal is it Greenlee or is it Dan? Also, when you do it in a studio and you do a comedy show you don't always know like the energy that's going to come back to you until you do it live so jay and i've often said this about the live dumb people towns is that next one by the way next one on the fifth of february cobs of february 5th of february as part of san francisco the the thing about it is we can go do a stand-up show and we know as you know where know, where the laughs are going to come. You've done your material.

Either they come or they don't. If the audience is great and they're in it, they're going to come, and you know the points at which you're going to get laughs. You can probably count them before you start the show and be like, I probably am going to get in an hour 112 laughs. Right. That's what I know, or 160 laughs. I will get that.

We don't know where they're going to come in this thing. We just have no clue, and yet if you were to add them up at the end, it's always the same or maybe even a little bit more in these moments. That is a stand-up show, yeah. And to me, we walk into those shows with such confidence because we know those are going to be that. So we look forward to many more of those. And, you know, as we kind of go into another place and adding some new features,

and you guys have heard some of the things about it with the Patreon and stuff like that. Can't wait to do the new version of the Patreon with you guys. I think it's – you touched on this before, and it's probably where we should close it out. It's having people like Noah Eberhardt and Brendan, our engineer, and Aristotle, who does it all, engineers and produces the show. Lissa, who'd come on and helped us with the social media stuff. And then, obviously, Land. You know, Land, he runs Starburns. And we go back to him helping us set up the shows at Largo when he first started here.

helping us set up the shows at Largo when you first started here. And obviously you don't get, let me put it this way. The biggest strides you make in this industry is when you can have somebody who believes in you, whether that's apartment two F or cheap seats, or it's you guys saying, Hey, do you want to start doing this show with us?

And you know, and it started out of me being very happy to be there and kind of learning as i'm going and evolving as a as a comic and a stand-up and a podcaster until eventually it's like it really is our own whole thing yeah and and a big person coming off of and it's okay you know this isn't a negative i'm about to say because everything changes in our industry but coming off of a place where maybe they didn't really see the belief or see kind of where we could go with this show, to have Jason Smith, God rest his soul, to say, you know what? This is gold.

And to have somebody believe in you and say, I'm going to push this and I'm going to get behind it and you guys tell me what you want to do and we're going to make it happen. That's where you get really far. And I think that can probably go, I do this career, but I bet that's true of lawyers and teachers. You just need somebody to believe in you. And it's great. This place, we didn't know what we had.

We just believed in each other, and then we had a place who believed in us, and it became something really fun and really great. So I actually look at this as like a wonderful chapter that is closing. Yeah. And then the new chapter starts next week. And it won't change for you guys. It all drops in the same thing. Yeah.

If anything, I think it's only going to get better. Right. And this is, we just want to say thank you to everyone here at Star Bruins. I'm looking at Aristotle behind the computer. So thank you, dude. We love you, brother. And if there's anybody we forgot or whatever, it's not because we didn't care. Brian, oh my God.

Thank you, man. Everybody who's worked here who has really helped, it's not because we didn't care. Brian, oh my God. Thank you, Tim. Everybody who's worked here who has really helped us throughout the years, we really appreciate them. And oh shit, we got to, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. Stick around. Make a sound. Calm your downies. Dumb People Town. Star Bands Audio.

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