Dumb People Town - Dave Anthony - Moral Of The Story...

Episode Date: October 3, 2023

Comedian, writer, and podcaster (The Dollop) stops by as Daniel describes how firefighters help a proposal gone wrong, Jason laments for a man whose girlfriend won't eat anything, and Randy warns against robbing your own son at knifepoint, and so much more! Thanks to our sponsor: Faherty! Head to FAHERTYBRAND.com/DPT and use code DPT at checkout for 20% off your order.

Dan and Rand and Jay will share Tales of folks so unaware They lack in grace and sometimes choose The life they choose will make the news Breaking down each epic fail In Florida there's half-price bail I'm happy to say they Couldn't make this

So listen to our Podcast jam with co-host Our man Dan Don't be a jerk Hey guys, want to say thank you to our sponsor, Faraday. For those who don't know, Faraday is a family brand founded by Alex, his wife, Carrie, his twin brother, Mike, that channels their love of the beach lifestyle into clothing for life's greatest moments. I love Faraday so much. They craft clothes that feel as good as the day at the beach, and they are backed by their guarantee of quality. Faraday is giving all dumb people town listeners an amazing deal, 20% off on your order. listeners an amazing deal 20 off on your order so head to faradaybrand.com slash dpt and use code d p t at checkout for 20 off your order that's f a h e r t y brand.com slash d p t hey townies

welcome to another episode of dumb people town population you population anthony dollop dave anthony i thought this was the other podcast no i'm gonna take off oh no wait dave dave we need you dave we need you let him go we want to have a good show let him go if you let him go he'll come back to us wait there's cameras yes no no no no sign anything get him uh if you wga nominated i'm assuming you already listened to the dollop but if you don't it is basically an exploration through history through the brilliant eyes of dave anthony and gareth reynolds the combination of you guys and your energy is so good on that there's so much to love about how you guys do that podcast the people who love it love it beyond belief if you

if you're not on it get on it they explore dumb throughout history we're exploring dumb than the recent history right now and so you are perfectly engineered for this i think the last time you did this podcast dan had all the stories we switch it up now and i know i love it when you guys switch it up uh you and sometimes you do a lot in the live shows yeah you switch it up a little bit there you have done in the past i love it they're called reverse the reverse he doesn't the reverse so fun yeah so uh we we have that right now where each of us have a story here dan's got the first one let's jump into it right away and we can tell people how to send him by carlene mcdermott at she'd be carlene i love her um all she had to do was hashtag dumb people town

at daniel vankirk at sclar brothers on what i will always call twitter and can i say as we've been searching as we search for stories and where there's such a backlog by the way thank you for everybody a beautiful dumb backlog like we're i'm looking at stories in may of this year right now it's like there's months of dumb stories that's weird on the docket seems to be getting smarter yeah i know it is really i know one would think that it would all sort of go away. It's just like how the earth's getting cooler right now, just a couple of degrees. And flatter. So what I'm saying is there are moments,

and I don't want people to think that we're just skipping over stories that you get, but there's so much that goes into picking a story that's perfect for you. Picking a story for the first segment, the second segment, the third segment. I don't want to pull too much behind the curtain. But I'm just saying, we appreciate everybody who sends this stuff in. And so

the ones that make it in fit the thing that we're doing, Daniel Go. So you guys, what I'm hearing is you guys just grab one and read it. That's right. We just I don't even pay attention. I wish. We probably could. We honestly probably could. I bet we could. I spent a lot

of time being like does this fit the first segment i don't know maybe i'm spending um i i often say all you'll need is a headline yeah which is why i didn't do this plug but when i go out now i ask townies just bring a headline and i come out first at the show and say does anybody have a dumb headline and we just joke around a bit for it great so but this one you really want the headline and the first line of the story let's do both that is let's do both it's almost like when you decide we're going to share everything at this thai restaurant you're going two entrees for your set for the table you like what that person ordered over there beck and ham firefighters help with marriage proposal gone wrong so wait for the second sentence okay let's hear the second sentence amanda and her partner owen were enjoying a

boozy night in whilst watching the opening fights of a live ufc screening great on july 31st fantastic but usually not the preamble to engagement right uh getting drunk at home what state i know so i so he put her in a rear naked choke and said, honey, this guy's got a life. When he choked him out, I want to choke you out for life. Yeah, I'm going to be tapping for life, baby. This is in England. Wait, what are you about to say? I was just, I just like, that might be the worst environment to propose in.

I know. No, they're at home. I know, but they're watching getting drunk fight like and not even like me not even that top tier card they're watching the opening fight like at that point it's just straight up like i don't know if people remember this but in the 80s whenever there was a dystopian future movie there was always cage fights and now we're just like yeah cage fights i was in a nice mad max i was in a nice little restaurant in brentwood california very nice area and they had left the tv on and it was ufc no it wasn't

even ufc it was some other type of fighting right and okay that's sport right it is gone it's it's very much but my point is it was such a a violent fight that you were like eating flatbread while a guy's face was just ripped open. And there was some part of me that was like, I've loved the sport since the early 2000s. I've done Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu in Chicago with one of the Gracie gyms. But I still was like, I think you might not want this on the TV right now. Not this fight. No, it's not like, oh, these are good raviolis.

Hey, that guy's leg's split in half. Look at it flopping around. The ravioli's red inside, so is the leg. You don't want to see Mirko Krokop just shatter somebody's shin while eating tilapia. No, especially because I don't know what you just said. Mirko Krokop just shatters somebody's shin while eating tilapia. No, it's especially because I don't know what you just said.

Mirko Krokop, yeah. He's probably one of the greatest stare-downs of all time. How is the crab Krokop tonight? Is it good? I have never watched the UFC. I used to be a big boxing guy, and then I kind of transitioned out of it because, one, it got really boring. There's so much cheating.

It's coming back. What's happening? Making the fights. But also, at some point, point i was just like it's a little brutal like it is and then you ufc came along and i'm just like i watched too many 80s dystopian movies i can't do it i think boxing is a is a great sport however it's so interesting to me that the nfl yeah is promoting like we catch and stop all concussions yeah and boxing is still like how good are you at pretending you aren't concussed that's what we need and and your level of pretending it will keep this fight going and we will give you a lot of time to pretend that you're good yeah the object of my sport is to make the oxygen stop going to your brain so that you go down.

Because UFC's actually gotten so good at it that I've seen fights stopped. Oh, yeah. That the person was out for literally that long, and they're like, it's over. You got knocked out. Or they're just seeing a guy not fighting back, and they're like, yeah, it's over. Well, yeah, if you can't intelligently defend yourself. But I've seen knockouts that only the ref saw, and the person had no idea they got knocked out. And even the person they were fighting was like, yeah. Well, yeah, if you can't intelligently defend yourself. But I've seen knockouts that only the ref saw, and the person had no idea they got knocked out.

And even the person they were fighting was like, yeah, no, he was out. And as soon as that happens, if they see the light flicker, it's done. You guys all realize you're watching basically a sport from Clint Eastwood monkey movies, right? Yes. And I love it.

And I'm saying, I'll take it any which way I can. I just don't like monkeys in movies. I want them left alone. That's great. All all right thank you okay so amanda and her partner owen uh we're enjoying a boozy night in whilst watching the boozy night by the way is the key yeah boozy night means it's irresponsible two different types of whiskey yeah let's open that let's open this let's open that yeah we've had this for a long it doesn't tonight feel special and then didn't get the theme.

It's dusty. That's probably how it worked. It's saved backwards. They celebrated like, well, I feel like we opened this. We should get married. Let's get to the worm at the bottom of that whiskey bottle. Kiss it. Kiss the worm. Also, don't remember, this marriage proposal goes wrong.

Yes. But actually, in this, there might be one. After enjoying a few alcoholic beverages, Amanda says she drunkenly proposed to Owen. Great. I like this. And he took her down. He submitted to her proposal. Sweep the leg.

No mercy. Michael Buffer comes in. She put on an old ring of hers on the fourth finger, but quickly realized it was too small and wasn't coming off. The fourth finger? Alcohol-boiled, too. They're counting the thumb. They are counting the thumb? Okay.

That's not a finger. That's a thumb. I agree with you. Dave, can you tell? I've been around a lot of monkeys. No, Dave. Please do our favorite joke. We've said this joke.

We've quoted your joke to so many people and given you credit for this joke. About the guy with the ring playing basketball, over the fence oh my god i haven't done that in so long oh it was basketball yeah it was like rec league it was a it was a running across a field and then he jumped tries to jump the fence gets his ring caught on the fence and tore his finger off i don't remember the punchline. I'll tell you. And the moral of that story is don't get married. Great Dave Anthony joke.

Are you kidding me? I love that we had to come in and do this. Yeah. You got it. Why do we know your material better than you? Bring it up. Dust it off. Dust that off.

That was like 15 years ago. He used his ring to fillet his own finger. It's a great joke. So anytime i hear any sort of a ring story about a ring that's like too tight on a finger anything i immediately go to dave's job i get so cagey about a tight ring oh yeah it's it's claustrophobic it is like even at me at festivals festivals like hey here's your band don't lose this i'm like well i am taking this off every night yeah so i'll just come right back here to the artist lounge so when we were in st louis

although this is high plains i lost it by accident we said dan you got to go to the top of the arch dan is like i don't know no no they kept telling me do you want to do go in the elevator at the arch and i said sure i'll go in the elevator what's that is a misnomer that's not an elevator it's a small egg with five chairs that you sit down. Ass to ankles. I'm talking. Wait, are you hanging underneath? No, you're in the leg.

You go up the leg. You go up the leg. Dude, you're in a circular pod. All the way to the top. And then you can get out. And you get out and there's windows up at the top. And you get up the top and you go, this is nothing. What am I looking at?

There's nothing. You're not outside. You're inside the neck of the top and there's windows on both side and it's like a little beautiful view it's really cool it's super cool but those elevators are small dan's not an elevator it's a pod it's a pod with no like panel dan gets in the elevator and immediately gets out and is like, I know my limitations. This is too much. I know my limits. I know my limits. I know my limits.

I went and watched a screening of how the arch got made. There you go. Even that. Even that was hilarious. A kid fell over the seats and got his arm stuck in between the two and then couldn't get his arm back out. And I thought that could have been me. Yeah.

And this is the funniest shit I'm going to see all day. Is this little Pakistani kid. Did they have to cut it off? They had to come out and disassemble the chair. The movie never stops. Because they just roll them throughout the day. They don't care. And the moral of that story is don't have kids.

That's Dave Anthony joke. I kill. She put the ring on. Realized it was too small. And was not coming off. Oh, gosh. Soap would start sweating. What are you putting on?

Amanda told the news shopper. I guess that is the. Well, you're probably not thinking this, but I'll wait until I sober up and I'm less puffy. Yeah, that's true, too. She's alcohol bloated. Yeah. She told the news outlet, Owen is from Auckland in New Zealand, and the guy fighting was from there, so we decided to watch the fight in support. Great.

And I'm sure the fighter was like, thank God Owen from Auckland is watching this. That's right. Yeah. I have no idea what possessed me to propose, but I did, and with a ring way too small for me. I have no idea what possessed me to propose. I have a question about proposal. Yeah. Do you put a ring on and then go, hey, will you marry me?

Or do you do it as you're kneeling down? Also, did she put it on herself? She put it on herself. She didn't put it on him. She says, will you marry me? He says, I suppose. And then she goes, great, I'm putting this ring on. They're drunk.

They're drunk. They're drunk.'re drunk they're drunk do you want to marry me because i have the ring right it's literally like i'm getting pizza do you want pizza we got pizza's coming no no pizza this is what it is pizza's coming do you want to get i just called the burger place that's what it is the wrong ring burger place it's all that's what it is it's the wrong ring you called the wrong thing or this is pizza you want mediterranean yes and then you show you what's mediterranean pizza it doesn't matter burgers coming your face is in shape like french fries you ordered two falafels that was it for your drunken night it wasn't enough too small no idea what possessed me to

propose which is like yes you do you're in a relationship and you're drunk as soon as I put it on my finger it was cutting off my circulation my finger started to turn blue and I started so hold on as soon as I jammed it on like you had to get it I

can get it I can get it yeah we're getting married I can get it yeah you put that has to go over a knuckle somebody's like I try this on and if it gets to the knuckle and it fights me at all no no I've put it have you put it on I put a ring on and it was

I got it over the knuckle and immediately I realized I made a mistake and I was like oh my god how am I going to do this and I had to like have water running and I got it off and i was like i couldn't have spent another 10 minutes with it on because i would have just because i'm slowly becoming a pinky ring guy like in the right scenario and it's a weird thing to say out loud sure i just loved my uncle bob's pinky ring i would just look at. Coke nail and his pinky ring. You think Bob Van Kirk has ever

even seen coke? No. No. By the way, I did that with a cock ring. Did you? Once you get it over the knuckle. You're not even circumcised. I mean, that's amazing. That is a wow. She proposed. As soon as I put my finger

it cut off circulation i started to panic it turned blue amanda says her and owen attempted to remove the ring by placing the finger in an ice bath and rubbing oil and butter around the finger but none of the methods worked oh my god so again so they went online with each right so they do have internet access get on web md which one of us has minutes amanda and ed we do we did not know what to do i thought i may have to go to the hospital and have it removed but i knew that a and e that's ambulance and emergency yeah probably or or or the cable channel biography murder uh wait times were incredibly long and we had a drink so we had no way to get there responsible i like this we can't

drive we cannot drive you can't drive right and then i was like you can't then get the circle saw imagine calling an ambulance for a ring hey what happened then owen reminded me that his dad was a volunteer fireman that's how drunk they are you know what what my dad does? What, fiance? Fireman. Part-time fireman. Oh my God, you're right. You know what my dad does? No. He pretends he's a fireman on weekends.

Like the supporting cast of the movie Roxanne. If the fire is on a Tuesday, I will not be there. Schedule these emergencies. You know how a firefighter works like 11 days a month well he only works four i cover a long line of fire some small towns it is all all volunteer they have to be it's the 1800s i could and i'm fighting the urge to tell so many fire department fun facts okay she he says my dad um has an axe and a fire axe well you know because i'm just mucking it up right as a fireman and he was and he is and he was always advised to call the fire brigade for most things as they're

usually quicker than police or an ambulance that is 100 true my wife's stepfather was the fire commissioner on santa bella island in florida right and those guys were who you wanted to call if you had any sort of a mishap you want my cousin kenny everywhere they will be there so fast emt yeah they're like they know what they're doing they have all the equipment and they're not roided out like cops yeah they're gonna come in with like an open mind and you're not gonna shoot through the door on the way in right hey okay first thing i shot your dog no it's just a ring i just put an axe through it so we called them i explained there was no fire that's like the first thing no fire there's no fire except in my heart for Owen. We got fireball. And I only had a ring stuck on my hand, but within five minutes, the brigade was at my door.

They wanted to see these idiots. Would you guys like to guess how many firefighters showed up for a ring on a finger? Seven. Eleven. Four. One of you is one off, so want to go up or down? Eight. Ten.

Five. Six. Amanda claims there were six firefighters at her house. of you is one off so want to go up or down eight ten five six amanda claims there were six firefighters at her house in copper's road all attempting to remove the silver ring from her finger using equipment such as a cutting blade and other materials are they drunk too hey it is at some point do you think somebody's like we can just cut the finger and there's a good chance they'll reattach it yeah yes we can no way here's my idea if you had everybody there and you could put it right on ice and you're all right they would i know i know a lady who had a

tumor in her neck and they took the head off and put it back on stop yep you took her head off yeah they had to they had to cut it and fucking bring it the spine stayed on but all the meat came the wires are so connected, but the meat came off. They connected all the... That's the thing, dude. I've never heard anything. That is the first... They really had to think it over for a while.

That is the first time... Have you lost your head? Like I did for a little while. Just because I don't think... You would lose your head if it wasn't attached to your body. I didn't. It's still here. I've done that. Just because I don't think you would lose your head if it wasn't attached to your body. I didn't. It's still here. I've done that.

Just because I don't think anyone has ever heard that. Yeah. And all three of us did a collective comic thing where we go and realize you aren't doing it. No, you're really being real. I just want you to talk about that in public. She came to, she'd had, she'd she had a tumor before yeah and they checked her out and they're like fuck we found another tumor it's a really really bad place and she's like

that's it i'm terminal like i'm not good and then and then like three weeks later she goes so so this doctor they made her a pester i have a crazy dispenser like if a doctor's like, I have a crazy idea. Did you say they Pez dispensered her? Yes. Right? Yes. I mean, yeah. That's amazing. Oh, my God. If you had the option. If the doctor sat her down and he goes, look, I want to Pez you.

Wait a minute. Did you say peg? If you had the option, would you want the doctor to provide you with a photo of what it looks like? Yes. Absolutely. Oh, you guys are wild. That's my Christmas card next year. Yes. Would you want the doctor to provide you with a photo of what it looks like? Yes, absolutely. Oh, you guys are wild. That's my Christmas card next year. Yes. Do you know?

So like crazy year guys played in a championship game. I had my head taken off. That's your album. And all of our daisies came up this summer again. That's your album cover, right? No scarf needed. That's your album cover. Heads up.

Heads up comedy. Necrophilia. Necrophilia. I have a family member who had an open heart. By the way, that's not that big of a deal. I know, but this is the thing that I still think about because when they do open heart

surgery and they crack you open and then they got in there and they were going to do a double bypass. They were like, I think we can quad this thing. And so that quadded it. And then what a lot of people don't know is they then stand around the literal doctors surgeons everybody just stays in the room for about an hour like playing on their phone and fucking around or doing whatever while open yes to make sure that it all

prompted works and the idea that a loved one is in the same building as you somewhere just wide open yeah for an hour. While they just answer emails and do shit. You can't go throw stuff in. No. But it's just wild to think about. See if you can put some love in that heart. I haven't seen that guy say I love you once in 20 years. She's got a fire in her heart. She calls the goddamn fire brigade.

You tell me if you find some empathy in there. Don't you unblock that. Attempt to use a cutting blade and other materials oh my god at this point i was in a lot of pain from probably from the blade yeah well they're cutting her finger as her finger was starting to swell and turn a darker blue oh my god she explained the cutting device wasn't working even after changing the blade they doled a blade on her this is like the lord of the rings ring yeah what is this made of? Go to fucking Mordor for this.

This is like Uncut Gems, the movie. I'm uncomfortable the whole time. Oh, my God. The amount of time. I literally was. I don't talk a lot during movies or at the screen. Yeah. But I think there were three times I was out loud said, stop.

Stop it. Don't do it. Everybody stop. Just stop it. And everybody around me felt the same way. That was me watching Barbie. Barbie. You're like, just somebody stop this.

I loved it. I never saw it. I don't like dolls. It's still a good joke. You would love it. You would genuinely. I don't like, I'm scared of it. You would genuinely love that movie.

I gotta watch that one. Okay. The device wasn't working after changing the blade, so they carried out an elastic thread trick. What is? Which Owen was helping them google under the thing yes and try and pull it along yes that doesn't make sense now i had to take a bracelet off at the high plains festival shout out all the townies who came up to that

and i did the trick where you put a plastic bag all the way around under it and then you pull the black so your hands in the bag and then you tuck it in and then you pull it back over and it stretches it at every point around the circumference. Great idea. It's a good way for sneaking into festivals and stuff.

Yeah. Slide a hand in and then go under the bracelets and then pull the bag back at once. Everything off. That's a great idea. I know.

All I know is if you ever have a wet wetsuit and you want to put it on plastic bag. How do you mean? You put your feet and hands into a plastic bag and slide it through the sleeve. There you go. That'll get you through.

Same deal. Same deal. But guys, you skipped over this. They carried out an elastic thread trick, which Owen was helping them Google. Right. So you've reached a point with the fireman where no one's... Google it. No, uniforms don't matter. The drunk guy is like, I'm going to Google it. They're like, listen to him. them google right so you've reached a point with the fireman where no one's google it no uniforms

don't matter like i'm gonna google it they're like listen to him because none of this shit and how long do you think he was like i think i got something here and they were like okay man we got blades just please get back we are professional they went through two blades and they're like all right what do you what was the thing that's why they had six people there you only need two people to do it there's four guys that are keeping him back. Credit them for going, okay, we're open to, like, in the writer's room. We're blue-skying. We're open to all ideas. Let's get everything on the board here.

I'm open to this woman proposing to him. There's one guy writing on the wall. All right, what do we got? We got no bad answers. Hooker in a toilet. That's, what is this, an infraction? That feels like a season two, guys. The firefighters finally managed to pull it off,

and my finger was in a lot of pain, but I didn't care. I was just thankful that the ring was off my finger. On Monday, Owen took matters into his own hands and formally proposed to Amanda just without the ring. He put this ring on the same ring. No! Freeze frame, dead in it, credits roll. Owen, Amanda's partner partner we know that by now

just read it again real quickly just say owen owen who amanda's partner oh where'd this guy come from oh right like we're drunk yeah the proposal said quote the proposal wasn't anything crazy we were lying on the sofa and it felt right well that's what got you into trouble the first time that's right it felt right we both got pretty emotional i wouldn't say i met your finger severing emotional amanda added i'm yet to get a ring so the second time they did it no ring no ring he just asked yeah you don't get a ring you don't get a ring you wasted your opportunity to get a ring that's right you don't get a lot what would you put on that finger like that would scare me just put a collar i tell people as an unmarried man uh really consider having the conversation about ring or payment towards a down,

like put money towards a down payment on a house. This is the conversation I have with my wife. She's like, should we have a wedding? I go, why don't we just go to Hawaii, the two of us and get married. And then we have a bunch of money to use for life and stuff.

That's right. Yeah. It just depends what, it depends what people are, what they want. You could do that. Or you do a smaller version of all that stuff. Like, let's get a ring, but it's tiny. Let's get your grandmother's ring.

I know you guys are a bit older than me, and not that I'm very young either, but I think you guys operate young, and I think I do too, just in terms of like where we are in comedy and everything. I think you guys, and especially people much younger than me do not give a fuck about a lab made diamond versus a especially actually they probably more want a lab made because they're more conscious of fucking blood diamonds except that i'm gonna say i will say this and i don't give a fuck about a cubic zirconia i don't so say this. Who cares? But our sponsor, James Allen, who does that stuff, that stuff is amazing.

I agree. And that is the right way to do it. But they also offer all those things. I know. So they offer everything. Take it out, Aaron, if I'm wrong. But I looked at the site. But that's the thing.

Like, I remember we went in. It's so confusing when you go in because they're like, you can have this cut and this clarity and this thing and it's like i'm like what's the difference between like a b clarity diamond and a f clarity diamond they show them both next to me and i'm like i'm looking at them and i can't tell the difference i agree you think someone waving their ring around from 50 miles away you're saying maybe this is like they're just like we're not gonna do a ring or what about get a ring for this gal put it on a necklace and do it that way yeah i like an old-fashioned ring but i like you know you you give her the ring and then you also in a box you give her the child's arm that was severed get it

yeah i think that's a great you know what it's called love it's gotta be a big box this is really a blood diamond. Here's the certificate. There's still blood on it. Let's just be cool, guys. How do we know it's authentic? Here's the arm. All right. A man that I love, Owen. Do you guys know who that is?

Who is that? We're going to need a refresher. Amanda's partner. Oh, okay, great. Got it. Said, we both got pretty emotional. Yeah, because you have PTSD from the last time this happened. Which, by the way, which means they didn't get that emotional.

Pretty emotional. Pretty emotional. Amanda added, I'm yet to get a ring because it was impromptu oh my god i forgot i swear to god i forgot and i have a little ptsd along with the still swollen and bruised finger so they're waiting to heal before they get back on yeah to the field of marriage owen wants to buy me a crazy ring ready i love it in the end they're like hey we're still in dumb people time yeah owen wants to buy me a crazy ring with a dragon on it or something or but i have yet to remind him that i'll it'll be me wearing it i don't think our friends at james allen have dragon rings

from new zealand so maybe they do have dragons he said he's gonna get me a crazy ring with a dragon on it which is translations for he's not going to ask me what I want. And you're going to hear this and you're going to hear the sentence, babe. The jewels are the eyes. I mean, breathe fire, push a button and two red lights come out. You don't want that. You don't want a laser. And it comes with a Camaro.

I've wanted this my whole life. Well, it comes with I mean, we are entered into a Camaro. And it doesn with a Camaro. I've wanted this my whole life. Well, if it comes with it, I mean, we are entered in to win a Camaro. And it doesn't drive. It's just up on four cinder blocks. But, babe. Owen and Amanda re-edited how grateful they are to London Fire Brigade firefighters for their help. I can show you these two just for fun.

Is this Connecticut? We're done with it. No, this is in London, baby. Oh, God. Look at them. These guys are cool. I like them. I mean, yeah, but you can tell just by this guy's shorts're done with it. No, this is in London, baby. Oh, God. Look at them. Yeah. These guys are cool. I like them. I mean, yeah, but you can tell just by this guy's shorts that he likes dragons.

Are they English? No. Well, he's from New Zealand, as was one of the fighters. But where was this? This was in London. This was in London. London. Look at them go.

Look at them go. God bless them. Comes from thisislocallondon.co. There you go. There you go. Story number one. Down in the books. All right.

I'll have my plugs. Jason has number two. All right. We'll get it to what Dan's doing and how you can support if you don't follow the dollop, if these guys are going to do any live shows, all of that stuff. When is this coming out? We'll make it come out when you need to come out. We're going on tour starting on the 7th.

We'll get to that. Let's take a break and we'll come back and do all that stuff. No, now! Some people down, don't go anywhere. Hey, guys. Welcome back to the show. Hope you had a nice little break. And before we get to Dave and where you can see the dollop live,

they're going on tour. Very excited about that. Daniel's got a tour. Do all building up to 1111, which I love it. If it's not sold out, it's going to be. Dan, can I do your plugs? First show is already sold out. Yeah, go for it.

I would love to. So if you remember any of the festivals. Dan's going to be at Rochelle in Illinois. High Plains Festival in the land of a thousand jokes. I did that. I did High Plains. 10,000 jokes festival. Yep.

Kicking off that night headlining. So good in Minneapolis. We did that festival. 10, 12. Amazing festival, by the way. Those guys run a really good festival. Can you sue if there weren't 10,000 jokes? Like if I go and there's like 9,000.

Do you know how many they're making me do? 9,300 just to be safe. Dan has so uh you're doing that and you're gonna be doing all these great shows all our buddy in north carolina raleigh north carolina rialto theater oh my god dude i'm psyched fest in boston that's right plus i'm even gonna drop in on some of my off nights it's great i found a don't tell comedy i didn't want to do a saturday night before halloween show it's hard to sell and who you get usually you're like guys plus do you want to really be performing for ghosts a lot of times i am that's why i say there's empty seats but uh i'm doing a don't tell that night because like oh this would be perfect and uh everything's at danielvankirk.com and these boys are right 1110 is Rochelle, Illinois

All those shows are definitely going to sell out that night And then the next night two shows in Chicago First show's probably already sold out I think there was ten tickets left Third left on the last show when we did this But it's probably even less now But please go to DanielVanKirk.com Lincoln Live, that's a taping

And if you come out to a show Bring a headline At the top of the show Dan will do headlines with you. Bring a headliner? A headline. He is the headliner. It's open to interpretation. Jesus, Dave. Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds have an amazing podcast.

I mean, I did a live. You did do a live one. That was, I think, and I say this this is usually reserved, but I don't care because it's a credit to you guys too. We crushed. We crushed. That show was so funny funny you like teed it up for gareth and i remember we kept doing bits and i was like wait i don't think we should say that oh yeah say it god it was so much fun and then uh the guy was mad because it was about uh the first uh bush bush one yeah it happened it was in houston and he didn't record it. Oh man. I ain't telling you this.

It lives in people's brains. It lives in people's minds. Not looking for a payday. I would come again. Yeah, we would. Wherever you guys are. At Sacramento. I would do a long drive even to just come to a nightclub.

Not you guys. Not us. I would do it in a heartbeat. But it is just so fun. I mean, the podcast, to listen to it when you guys just record it, it's fine. But live, phenomenal. Yeah, it's kind of one we only have guests on. i i always thought you guys wouldn't work because it's too many people but then we did we did two guests in in melbourne and it was great so we'll have you

guys on i love that you kind of you guys have really have a huge audience in australia which is amazing i think you i to me at least you guys pioneered that fear jump of going there and trusting that it's going to feel the dreams itself like you'll get there and they will come i mean will anderson was great in terms of like just greasing the wheel for you guys but then you guys went there and you guys arched barker it barker it was very weird the last time i was there we did did a 2,400 seat theater. Amazing. And Bill Murray was in the back watching for a little bit.

And I was just like, it didn't really dawn on me. And then I was at a party with some other comics. And the guy was like, no, you're one of the big acts in Australia. I was like, what are you talking about? And he goes, no, you're one of the top headlining acts. I'm like, what do you mean? It's still like, I just did a big theater. My brain was still just like, I do clubs.

You earned it, man. So where are you guys going on tour recently in the net in the new uh we start in uh bloomington indiana on the 7th october 7th great i i that's some kind of festival i don't actually know the name limestone festival it might be yeah sounds right um and then we do uh we do minneapolis madison milwaukee and chicago oh are you doing theaters you're doing clubs what do you do it's i think it's all theaters yeah i think it's all theater pretty close together like dating yeah there we we we don't fly anymore we drive so um so we kind of line them all up all right i love it so can i ask one more thing sorry isn't there you guys have dropped in you're almost treating your feed like a network, right? And you guys have other variations and stuff.

Yeah, we do a second podcast, which I would describe as this, but in the past. Yes. Love it. So it's basically I just, I grab one newspaper from a date anywhere from the 1600s through now. It's great. And I just read it to Gareth and a guest. It's great. Love it.

Phenomenal. It's great. Simple and great. And just proves that like, you know know how people are like they could read the phone book and make it funny yeah these guys from 1687 he could was their phones which is the next podcast we're starting which is read the phone read the phone book from 16 read the phone book and make it funny i'm like was there a phone when did alexander graham bell do his thing all right uh jay's got second story let's do it. Okay, guys. We have another Am I the Asshole

story from Reddit. I love these. Possibly no one better. Dave thinks everyone's an asshole. That's number one. Most people think Dave's an asshole. This is sent in by our old buddy Kyle Andrews at Late Night Nachos. Thank you, buddy. Here's the

headline. Am I... I don't know if there's a headline really, but am I an asshole? Am I the asshole for refusing to take my girlfriend to nice places because she eats like a kid? Off of the headline, David. Yeah, you're an asshole. Yeah, but also what is the kid eating? Yeah, exactly.

I need you to define it. You guys all can speak to this. Have you done with your kids go, well, let's not go here because they're just going to order. Well, no. The only time I didn't bring my kid was when he was super young and you couldn't get him to sit in a chair or whatever. Right. Better than that, you're like, no, sit, eat. Like, oh, don't eat a steak with your hands.

It's easy to teach them not to do. Also, find something on the menu. I mean, look. Is that what he's talking about? I think she only orders chicken nuggets, right? Let's get in. Every Italian restaurant can just give you buttered noodles sure which is such which is sometimes which is fine to me when you say to like if you're if it's

an adult that's with you your girlfriend or boyfriend and you say to the waiter he'll just have buttered noodles you're basically saying we give up yeah we give up we shouldn't be here he's in sweatpants i'm kind of with him i'm kind of with him okay yeah here we go my girlfriend is an incredibly picky eater yes right yeah like i said in my title so he's mad at us like we forgot like what's going look go up to the top again read that he's read the first line again my girlfriend is incredibly eater so what's this article about? Like I said in my title. Oh, okay.

Yeah, my girlfriend's a picky eater. I mean, by the way, not that far from the title either. What? Don't you remember the title? This is... I don't even know what we're talking about. Like I said. Right.

This is a dumb, self-feeling smart person. Right. Yes. Who is doing that version of of i am fine how are you like that's how they enter the like the only thing they remember is like you need to clearly state at the beginning what we're talking about like i said in my title she mean i'm sorry you mean headline yeah it's not a title. My summer was great. Like I said on my channel, she eats like she is 10 years old.

In fact, I'll give a short list of things she refuses to eat. Okay, good. Let's hear it. Let me just say this. I bet there's two or three of them that I've read. All right, well, here's the list. Unflavored water. What?

She doesn't drink? No, but I actually know a lot of people that don't like to just drink water. If you give me a choice between a Spindrift and a regular Sparkling, I'm going to do Spindrift. Yeah. Thank you. But also, they have fruit. By the way, here's my question. How come it doesn't come out of the tap

like berry flavored? I don't think this is that bad. Continue down the list here Fish And then in parenthesis There's a lot of people that don't like fish In parenthesis Excluding fried shrimp

Well she eats some So she eats fish She eats shrimp Listen to this one Anything with bones Okay Okay that's a feeling A lot of people don't eat chicken on the bone

That's Yeah that's actually Wait are they saying She won't eat chicken Or she just won't eat chicken With bones bone and that's yeah that's actually wait are they saying she won't eat chicken or she just want to chicken anything that has a bone so i will say this if like they're like be careful of the bones in that salmon i'm like get this shit away from me i don't want to have to like pull a bone yeah i i stopped eating fish with little bones a while ago fuck that shit so far she's just a vegetarian cheese other than sharp cheddar okay she eats sharp cheddar does he sharp cheddar this guy is looking for a way to break up with this woman am i right

yeah you are but also like this is also having had kids yeah and watch people do it yeah there's there's certain things that like if your kid's just eating one kind of cheese i mean if you're adult just eating one kind of cheese because I mean, if you're an adult just eating one kind of cheese, it's because your parents are never like, try this cheese, try this cheese. Nobody told her to try it. Like you never got exposed to it. Because, by the way, she'd love a Munster. I'm telling you right now. She'd love a Munster.

She'd love a Munster to help this woman out. Okay. Spinach. Spinach. I'm with her. Onions. I'm with her if it's good. Now you're going to stop.

I really enjoy it. Garlic. Get her out of here. Pasta without red sauce. She eats a red sauce pasta. She she's like i hate flavor eggs spicy food spicy food aioli i agree with her aioli freaks me out a little bit can get a little creamy what yes restaurant i could we could take her to ketchup ketchup potatoes other than french fries well then she does she does like potatoes pastries with fruit how about that i love that he's like we can't go to so far i can't take

this woman anywhere and expect her to eat a pastry with fruit so far how am i supposed to be with this woman so far i'm trying to figure out what she does eat what i have left is grilled cheese uh krispy Kreme. Citrus. Sausage or any non-American food. Is sausage a non-American food? It's not. Go to Chicago, you asshole. What are you talking about?

You know. Help her out. So now this is where Dan is 100% right. He tried. He thinks he's smart. And his words belie his intelligence. Once again, as I said in my headline. This compares to me, someone who grew up in multiple different regions of the U.S.

and lived in abroad for a few years. Nope. Hold on. I lived in abroad for like a night. This compares to me,. This compares to me. Someone who compares to me present tense. He also did multiple and different, which just broke my brain. So she won't eat sausage.

I've been in multiple different several places. Oh, because he's saying it about himself. So she won't eat sausage. Or any non-American food. Grilled cheese is really the only thing i have left unless you'll eat meat without bone like if you eat a hamburger chicken tenders chicken tenders all damn about impossible meat whenever me and my girlfriend all right you can't act like you're smart if you're gonna say me and my girlfriend yeah whenever me and my girl i'm clearly the

intellectual here so when me and my girlfriend go out somewhere nice she ends up getting the same meals usually either a burger or chicken tenders and fries so fine she is 10 we could be going to an authentic napoles restaurant so i'm saying you can't you guys you can't take her to moza hey look they'll make a burger don't make a pasta with a red sauce. They'll make a pasta with a red sauce. I've eaten it a ton of places. Never have I been like, well, I can't take you to an authentic Nepalese place. If I can't eat the food of Nepal.

You're not going to have a good Kyrgyzstan meal. Dave, you and I both. She won't eat a kefta kebab This This lady This son A meat potato morph But Dave Not unless it's got french fries in it She ain't eating those potatoes

You and I deeply love and respect The island of Kauai Yes She's not going to eat a fucking loco moco No way She's going to eat a fucking loco moco no way she's gonna eat nothing every night at that fucking yeah like uh mcdonald's could she have a pork dish it would be no citrus it would be annoying of course oh my god but i would understand if she was like, babe, our reservation is at seven 30. I'm going to eat at six at our house and then we'll go,

I'll get a fucking cocktail. You order whatever you want. But like how much, and I'll eat the fucking bread. Okay. So now let me do, and then you're like, awesome.

We're going to this amazing restaurant and we're only ordering for one and you're still having a great time. So, but let me do my impression of him ordering for both of them at whatever whatever you gotta get way you gotta have to be very intelligent he's like i'm gonna order me and my girlfriend are gonna order right now so i'm gonna have the uh whatever i'll have like the poke bowl and the this and the that with onions and garlic and you can throw uh any type of cheese you want on that whatever you want and uh she's like i'm sorry are you getting a poogie bowl of cheese yeah she's like well me

and my girlfriend so she's gonna have nothing she's gonna have like do you have chicken nuggets i know you probably can you go fire up throw those in the microwave just because she doesn't really eat anything she don't she don't like the food she don't like the food from here she only likes it if it's from America. She don't get it. Here's what's wild. And all four of us have experienced this at least once in our life. The bougier the restaurant, the more accommodating they are to those

crazy chefs. Because they really have to accommodate all the time. But my point is, how many waiters has he pled the case that she's being a jerk to? Only imagine. Just by ordering for her yes like do you guys watch chef's table you watch that documentary like there was there's a restaurant in chicago where they were talking about this restaurant maybe it was a different documentary

about this restaurant in chicago maybe where they're like our job is to make these people have the experience their lives and the and they over like a waiter overhears one of the people in the restaurant say you you haven't gotten deep dish well that's this you're thinking of the bear oh that was the episode of the bear no but but it is real because that takes place in ever which is owned by one of my close friends and that is a two-star michelin restaurant they have five stars all together so they like they go out and they get a slice of deep dish and they bring it and they give this person

and that's, I think that happens in a few really nice restaurants. So this guy's mad that like someone's going to run down to McDonald's and have to get her

at this Napoli's restaurant. I mean, asshole's strong, but I think he's in the wrong. Okay. He's saying to me it's kind of embarrassing to go to a restaurant

where there is a dress code. You know what I call that? A cat man don't. And for her to order chicken tenders and fries. It especially bothers me that since I typically pay, well, here we go. I end up,

then you should be happy. Yeah. She just got, I end up all off the kids menu. I mean, you'd be even happier if she's paying, not ordering and paying order off the kids menu. She's probably just eating like bread,

right? Well, she's chicken. I end up paying 15 bucks for chicken tenders that I could get from the freezer section at Walmart. Okay, fuck this dude on this. Okay, who gives a shit? You're out to dinner.

You are paying for the experience. The four of us went out to eat right now and you fucking ordered oysters and I don't have any and you get something that you guys split. Splitting it four ways. It is the experience. We paid for the night. That's right. I went to a Gordon Ramsay restaurant in London once and it was a three and a half hour meal.

It's the fucking experience. That's the experience. It's not the food. It is not. It's just like, how many kinds of cheeses do you have? It's the experience, not the tenders. Please tell this woman this. Recently in our area, a very nice dinner place opened up, and my girlfriend has been dying to go.

She wants to go. She wants to go. She wants to go. I took a look at the place and the menu. She saw that it looked nice, but the food was kind of pricey. She said she was probably going to get chicken tenders as per usual. I would fist pump. I love her now. I love her.

She knows who she is. I would be like, fuck yeah. I'm going to marry this woman. She's going to be money conscious. I asked her, what's the point of going? Then if I could toss some tenders in the air fryer for her, he doesn't even want it to be in a regular fryer. I like that he's got an air fryer. And not spend a ridiculous amount of money on it.

She asked why I had an attitude about this. And I told her that I thought it was a waste of time and money to go to a nice place. He's an ass. And get a little kid food and get little kid food. Little kid food is so pejorative. Little kid food is so pejorative. She should expand. I bet they make their own chicken tenders

and they're fucking incredible. They're incredible. She interpreted this as me calling her a little kid. You did. Which you did. Which you totally did. I clarified that I wasn't calling her a child. You are.

However, it is kind of childish for her. You're calling her a kid To eat the way she does I also said that if she's going to order food We can make it home There is not a point to us going anywhere You mean there's no point? Yeah, okay, so here's like just from my perspective

So you're annoyed by this thing about your girlfriend, right? Like you're like, oh, I don't like this thing So here's what I do I probably break up with her instead of writing it on Reddit. Oh, the worst. Let me plead my case. Like, why are you still with her?

He wants the world to get behind him. This led to an argument about me thinking I'm better than her. No, you do. You do. Am I the asshole? You are the asshole. This person knows exactly who she is. She's not going to change.

Right. How, honestly, I think about this like this. It's like pitching a TV show right now. We could all, we could come up with the greatest pitch right now. If a network doesn't want to buy a show from us for whatever reason, they're not going to buy it. Even if it's perfect. Yeah. Somebody who they want to be in business with could come in and be like, I don't know. It's kind of a show about lawyers. I don't know. That's all we got. And if they want to be in business, they'll buy that show on the spot. Period. If you want to be, you're looking for a way out, get out. There's also this thing

where like, you think you have it all together. You think you'd have a great me and my wife earlier, early on in our relationship, she like said something like, Oh, okay. So you're going to do this again. And I go, I have a list, too. And she goes, what? I go, the list in your head about me? I have one also. I just don't bring it up all the time. Because I love you in spite of it. Yeah, because I'm with you in spite of my list, and I don't bring up my list.

And we'd have a list. No, it's not going to change. And you'd have a list with anybody. Did that change? Yeah, you're old enough. I love your wife. It's not going to change. I love your wife so much.

Did she get it? Oh, totally. Not only did she get it, but she uses it with her clients now. Yeah, that's so great. She's a therapist. She she's like you are bringing up your list all the time but they might have a list they're just not bringing up true why your wife is so smart and why she is great is the and why she is actually so much fun to talk to in that way too because she just gets people period yeah my last thing about this is we wrote a pilot for you guys for Comedy Central. And afterwards, we all went out to this great bar in your neighborhood area.

Yeah, the Thirsty Crow. Yep. And I remember it was all of us and a little-known comic, Nate Bargatze. And we're sitting there, and I order a Jack and Coke. And the bartender comes over to me and goes, we actually have this amazing whiskey on special so i made it for you with that because it is so much better than jack daniels now is she technically probably right in terms of taste and flavor and awards maybe all that shit

but i am one i am of an age where i know exactly what i like and you may go you seem like you're hoping you're slash in 1989 or you're still a frat guy. I go, no, I'm just old enough to go, if I'm picking, just give me fucking Jack and Coke. Did you try it? Of course. And it was very good. But it wasn't the flavor of what I wanted. And so she's old enough to go, hey, dude, maybe they didn't give me enough shit.

She's old enough to be like a seven-year-old. Maybe I'm recessed in my fucking abilities to have a good palate but i also like this and you and i have a great fucking time together so here's another she's old enough to eat like a seven here's another but make it fun make it fun be at home be like i'm putting a blindfold on you right now i'm gonna have you taste two things and you tell me if you like it that's it and instead of doing this chicken, you do some like chicken piccata, which has a breaded thing and a flavor and stuff like that. And you're like,

Oh, I like this. Okay. Here's another thing. And if she refuses, then ask you, I should, I just break up with her,

but you're an asshole. You're an asshole. If you care about that, if, if what it goes back to what I'm saying, you're looking for a reason not to like her because who cares what your partner is? Who gives a she's anyway.

Okay. So yeah, you, you can still go out and eat and enjoy yourself. Like it doesn't, it doesn't matter. By the way, reason not to like her because who cares what your partner is who gives a she's okay so yeah you you can still go out and eat and enjoy yourself like it doesn't it doesn't matter by the way nate bargeski the the water heater bit have you seen his new so he's so freaking good all right let's take a break story number three is perhaps one of the greatest father and son interactions of all time right it's a short one and it's a beautiful one. I also, I'm going to say what you made me think of, which is an old dumb people.

I love it. We'll talk about that on the other side of the break. Dave Anthony, and our plugs on the other side of the break. It's not people. Don't go anywhere. Hey guys, I want to talk to you about our sponsor Faraday.

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I got these new, the movement chinos. My wife is like, these are the best pants you've ever owned. And I'm like, I'm going to wear them every single day. That's how great they are. But they also have a legend line. The legend line. So I'm wearing legend sweatpants right now.

They have flannels that look like flannels. How many do you have of them? I have seven. They're incredible. And I've worn them all on this show. I've worn them on TV shows. People always ask me where I got them. They are soft like a sweater.

And yet it's a flannel and beautiful so i love their stuff so much it feels good it feels like a day at the beach truthfully that's what they say and that's exactly what it is the styles are beautiful the patterns are gorgeous they're good feather patterns are amazing textures the twin brothers started this thing and they it's it's a very much a family business which which is something Jay and I can relate to. And they say all their stuff is designed to be lifetime favorites. And it's true. I've had some of the legend sweater shirts I've had for like seven,

eight years, nine years. They are unbelievable, versatile. You can wear them in nice things. We've worn them for several tapings. Guys right now, Faraday is giving all dumb people town listeners an amazing deal.

That's 20% off your order. So head to Faraday brand.com slash dpt and use the code dpt at checkout don't forget to do that i will it's f-a-h-e-r-t-y brand dot com slash dpt stick around make us down there's more dumb people town hey guys welcome back to the show. Before we get back into this and Dan has something, keep that in your brain. Oh yeah, I'm good when we get on your brain. We should let people know as this drops.

I think we will have already, maybe we'll have already gone to Fort Collins. We're going to the comedy fort. I cannot wait to do that room. I heard it's amazing Fort Collins Colorado And then we'll be in Springfield Missouri at the Blue Room very excited to do that We're going to do our two man show that we did Out at Dynasty Typewriter as part of the

New York Comedy Festival on Sunday the 12th There's got to be a There's got to be a bar in Springfield Called Moe's right Come on there has to be In every Springfield there shoulde's, right? There has to be. There has to be. Come on, there has to be. In every Springfield there should be. We'll look for it. We'll look for it.

And then we're going to be at Hilarities in Cleveland beginning of December. We're going to be at Helium on January 5th and then Seattle the Crocodile on the 6th. And then we're going- Helium in Portland. Helium in Portland and then Seattle on the 6th on that Saturday night at the Crocodile.

And then we'll be in Denver at Comedy Works the end of January, beginning of February, and then the end of February, beginning of March, we'll be at Mark Ridley's Comedy Castle, and then at... You're dropping spring dates. I'm dropping all of them. You're dropping spring dates. I love Comedy Works.

I'm dropping spring dates. I love Comedy Works so much, and we're going to be in the South Club, which last time we did it, we had so many people come out and have the best time. Superscleros.com, all the tickets, get it on there, and hopefully we will do some live Don't People Towns. I would love to do that. Let me jump us into this third story. Send him by Jake Gr tickets, get it on there. And hopefully we will do some live. Don't people tell us. I would love to do that. Let me jump us into this third story. Send him by Jake Groney at Jake Groney.

What were you going to say? Oh, you said father, son interaction. I'll just never forget the story of the guy who wanted to impress his son by stealing cars. His stepson, but he didn't really stepson,

but he didn't really, cause he was being a punk kid stealing. So he wanted him, the dad, stepdad wanted him to like him. So he stole cars, too. But he would just move them two blocks away. Two blocks away.

Because he couldn't fully commit to stealing a car. I actually think this is better. Okay. You ready? Here we go. Masked dad accidentally tried to rob son at gunpoint. This happened. Excuse me.

At knife point. This happened. Oh, is it Scottish? The I think it is in England. I don't know. But he knows he's the masked one, right? It's not like his son's mask. He didn't know it was his son and he tried to rob him. Okay.

The man and we'll guess his age. This is like the dad who signed up for his daughter's only fan pay. You know what you're doing. We established top tier pieces of shit back then. By the way, I love that he said that this got us. And we'll get his age. Father pounced at an ATM

in Glasgow's Crane Hill on November 19th. If there's a story about stabbings, it is always Scotland. The sun, and we'll get right out of right outside of a bell and sebastian concert i used to i used to watch uh lock up on msnbc when it was on and every time they did a scottish episode it was like what are you in for i stabbed a guy like everybody why did i make him from australia all right uh the victim and we'll get his age too had used the cash machine

close to his home uh to withdraw how much money pounds british pounds how much money i'm gonna say 40 40 pounds what do you think 100 pounds get your answers in townies because he was just withdrawing 10 pounds that's it oh my god that is like a such a small i really thought you were gonna go 40 20 10 he saw a hooded man dressed in dark clothing with a snood over his face which i'm assuming is like a mask, lurking nearby. Prosecutors, Kerry Stevens told Glasgow Sheriff's Court as he put his card in his pocket and took the cash from the machine,

he turned left and felt something against the left side of his face. This is like a LA story. Steve Martin, remember? Hi, my name's Phil. I'll be robbing you today. Right, okay. He was pinned up against the wall by the neck.

The boy felt a large kitchen knife pressed against his face. Kitchen knife. I wish you would have recognized the kitchen knife. That would have been the greatest part. I can't cut knives. Dad, I gave you that. I gave you that. This opens for, this provides a Star Wars moment.

Takes the mask off. No. My dear father. No, the accused stated, give it to me. Give it, give it, give me it now. Dad? Okay, give me it. Give am your father. No, the accused stated, give it to me. Give it. Give it. Give me it now. Dad? Okay, give me it. Give me it now.

The victim instantly identified the dad from his voice and his eyes. No, I'm not. And his eyes. No, no. This is somebody else. Dad? Stun Boy said, are you serious? Why are you out so late?

Are you serious? Do you know who this is? The attacker replied, I don't give a fuck who it is. Oh, he's doubling down on the bitch. Oh, my Lord. Or he's just so juiced up these juice i mean yeah i've never robbed anybody in atm you're you're everything's like doing a five minute comedy set you get the energy up you're flying for another 10 minutes in the moment we probably we'd probably all be terrified but definitely later on

wouldn't you kind of think a little bit less of your mugger if it was a kitchen knife yeah like one of the little like later on when you're bitching about it and your adrenaline is coming you're like in a fucking kitchen knife i mean you didn't even plan this right just left the house right serrated bread knife yeah like honestly like it doesn't have a point at the end the victim then pulled the snood down revealing the dad's face and said what are you doing the man responded fucking stupid the man responded i'm sorry i'm desperate but it's your money but his son fled the scene and told such an idiot his gran about the ordeal his grandma before the police were alerted the robber was later arrested

his home and initially denied being the culprit but later said i didn't know it was him at the cash machine i done it i will do the time for it so now he's going to teach his kid the best lesson of all you have no leverage over that kid for the rest of his life exactly or do you have a lot because you have everything to fucking take it to the blade or are you like look i don't give a shit what goes on i will fucking stab you that's right like i will stab you how about the fact that he could then say to everybody court cops anyone i was trying to teach my kid the ultimate lesson if you commit a crime or do something wrong you do the time the time you commit the crime you do the time and i wanted

you to learn that's right and i was trying to talk to this kid but i couldn't get you know they grow up so fast you don't even recognize them in an atm thank you dan you're coming up with all the things so so he was clearly distanced from the dad this is a there's a dad who hasn't been around i don't know but the kid recognized him from his voice but then he still went home to gran which is probably where he lives with gran that's a good point gran lives with him all right he pled guilty of the charge of attempting to rob the victim the man also admitted possession of a knife in a public place which as you know it's scotland they have a lot of this i had cheese also i had to cut up the haggis somehow all right edward gilroy defending told the court his mother brother and son are all extremely angry with them

probably true before the fucking atm right sheriff and ruin thanksgiving last andrew cooby jailed the dad for how many months how many months was he jailed for boxing day yeah six six months what do you think three a year okay get transfers in town he's armed robbery i know he jailed the uh dad for 26 months whoa you didn't even get to stab your kid. At least draw some blood. Now who stabbed who in the back? I don't know about Scottish prisons, but 26 makes me feel like for what you went in, you're going to come out way worse.

Based on what I've seen on Lockup, but it's not that bad. It's not like an American prison. It's better. It seems so long. Is he going to be a different person out of that thing? I think he's already been there. I don't think this is his first time. I think it should be called, that show should be called Locked Up, Stocked Up in Two Smoking Barrels.

Okay. Sentencing the sheriff said, these are an extraordinary set of events. We'll get out of here on this. Okay. How old at the time was the father and the son? Obviously, they're not the same age, but let's do the father first. How old was the father who tried to pull this off? David, you want to go first? Father

is 36. Okay. Go ahead. What's your reasoning? 36. 36 and like 18. Had a teenage kid. Okay. 36. What do you think? I'm guessing both or just the dad. Just the dad. 42. 50. Alright. Get your answers in townies because the father

26 months in prison holding a kitchen knife to his son's face in atm 28 45 years old now the son is how old is the son and we'll get out of here on this david thank you so much 27 20 uh 22 okay you. I love you so much. I love glad you're here. What a treat. It's fun. It's always fun. The dollop is the show. Go see it live here in the Midwest in October.

Where can they catch the dates and buy tickets online? You can go to dollop podcast.com and then, uh, tickets start on the seventh in, uh, Bloomington. And then they go through, I think the last show is in Minneapolis on the 14th.

I love it. Uh, we're going to, we're going to have this drop sometime around then or in the middle of them so you can come see these guys live. It is such a fun show. I love them so much. Love you guys, too.

And you guys, our fans. The son is, you again said 22, 20, 27. The son who got a knife in the face and then recognized it was his dad and then went home to gran 17 years old. That's how we do it guys. Understand who you're robbing. Wow. Understand the relationship between,

and if it's Scotland, I guess all bets are off and there are knives involved guys. That is a show. We love you. And Oh shit. We got to get back to work. Bye.