Dumb People Town - Demetri Martin - The Largest Vibrator

Episode Date: July 20, 2021

This week the incredible Demetri Martin comes to town to hang with Daniel, Jason and Randy. The first story is about a hot theft. The second story gives us the best excuse for almost any situation. The final story is about a Tok Tok!

Skypains, out of here. Hey townies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population you. Population Martin. Dimitri Martin, welcome to the show, brother. Do you like how we turned off a very, very calm conversation? That we turned it up. That's like the morning zoo. This is calm.

I already saw my first rookie mistake. So there's for people listening or for people watching or those who are not listening or watching. It's for you too., if it can get you. Just absorb me. First rookie mistake. There's four cans on the table, and three have been opened before we went on. Oh, yeah. But the sound of an opening can is actually, to me, very satisfying.

Oh, extremely. I just come. Yeah. It feels good. It does feel good. It feels good. By the way. It's like everybody's ASMR. It does feel good. It feels good. By the way. It's everybody's ASMR.

Everybody experiences that ASMR. Can I tell you that I get completely sucked in by advertising. If it's really hot and I see a sweaty Coke. A Coke in a glass that's thin on the bottom and it gets fat on top and there's a lot of ice in it. I'm like, I want a Coke. Oh, yeah. I'm like, I'm a smart human being. sure i should be able to yeah it just gets me how long did it take you guys to this is a very stupid question probably but it's dumb people

if i'm not if i you know i was just saying before we we started here that i just haven't done a lot of podcasts i haven't been in the you know done the the thing a lot. And I don't think I've done that much radio either over the years. Yeah. But you get the headphones on. If you're not used to it, you sort of just like bathe in your own voice. Because it's not the way you hear your voice usually. There's an amplification or something. Right.

I always need it. It's funny because when I'm on stage. Oh, I'm the same way. When I'm on stage, I ask them, can you please put more of me in the monitor? Because I- If I don't hear, if we don't hear it, then I tend to push harder. Yeah.

Agreed. Right, right. And then people are like, why are you guys shouting the whole show? And I'm like, because I couldn't hear myself. I go with, I'm a low energy. I don't think I'm that low energy. You aren't. I've been branded when I started, when we were coming up in New York.

If you've got the low energy brand or the alternative, whatever they sort of painted you with, then you had to deal with that. I got both, so I was low energy. And alternative. Yeah. But I could feel myself just retreating into my own whispering. Bothering your own voice.

I'm going to try to project a little bit. Actually, I love it. And it's so funny because this is the second podcast that we've done in studio with a guest, which is the way we used to do it since the pandemic and it is so nice to be in and we'll do them what i loved about doing them on zoom is that we could have sam jay from new york or if david spade couldn't make it into the street he came like he did it from his house and so like it was it was it allowed us to sort of go out this is beautiful that like we're all looking at each other there's eye contact there's non-verbal

energy in the room energy in the room with bubbly being pop bubbly being pop let's start let's start with this story because our fans send us awesome stories uh tweet at daniel van kirk hashtag dumb people tell me how to do both and then the stories come in let's do one ready sent in by mark marcus at mark marcus that's great c's not k's do you think that's his name mark marcus yeah yes if you're the parent now you're a parent of kids and your last name is marcus do you what's the discussion like how much do you have to move your wife what do you give up to say we're naming a mark well what's interesting is and i i am still having trouble adjusting to it, I don't know how much it's...

Because you could have Martin Martin. I could have Martin, yeah, Marty Martin. Marty Martin. But living in Los Angeles, I don't know if we're an epicenter of the weird name thing. No, small towns, especially in the south, are the, that's the core.

So it's all that. Yes. It's like misspellings of words that you know. Right, totally. Because I feel like Mark, Marcus, Marcus, that's like lightweight now. of words that you know. Right, totally. Because I feel like Marcus Marcus, that's like lightweight now. It doesn't even register. You gotta name your kid like grapefruit or knee or something.

LA is the center of, did you say knee? Crinlin. Crinlin. Craylay. I told you this. I've said this on the podcast. My wife and I, my youngest daughter was a gymnast, like competitive gymnastics before the pandemic. and we would just go to competitions and

write down all the names of all the other kids and then when we were like feeling sad or whatever we're just in bed at night just read all the names like braylon brylan graylin craylin crately correctly rent but like i has lost all of its ground to the letter Y. Yeah. Oh, the Y is gone. Jimberley. Jimberley. That was the name of a kid.

I'm like, of course she's going to do gymnastics. That's perfect. And that's gender fluid, which is nice. Jimberley sounds like the place where you take your kids to learn gymnastics. I'm taking them to Jimberley. It's like that guy at the X Games, Ollie Skateboard. Is that his name? No, I'm just making that up. It's like a slightly more formal Jim. It's like if you don't know what that was. Right to Jimberley. It's like that guy at the X Games, Ollie Skateboard. Is that his name? No, I'm just making that up.

It's like a slightly more formal Jim. It's like if you don't know what that was. Jimberley. Jimberley. Half Pipe Johnson. Okay. Mark Marcus. So this is where Mark Marcus is.

I could do Vance Van Kirk. Vance Van Kirk. Yeah. Van Van Kirk. Well, yeah. Okay. All right. Thank you, Mark Marcus.

Headline is this. Kirk Van Kirk. That works too. There you go. Okay. Vibrator theft shakes up Gulfport. You knew that was in the back pocket. Yep.

Yep. Shakes up the Gulf. Shakes it up. How about, like, excites the Gulf Coast or whatever else? Reverberates through Gulfport. Right. Exactly. Yeah.

Hits the spot. There you go. Right? There you go. Two women entered Salty's Gulfport Bar on Monday, May 17th. Have you been to a Salty's? No. Salty's, it's kind of like a band.

Is it a chain? Yeah. Oh, wait. I got married in a Salty's. Oh, stop it. Oh, wait. No, but Salty's, to me, feels like a Dick's Last Resort. Oh, it's like that sort of place?

Ed DeBevick's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. if you've been to Chicago. So the people are supposed to be mad at you. Oh, that's the thing. I can't think of anything worse for Dimitri Martin than to walk into a restaurant where people are just insulting you. I've learned my rhythm's just slow.

So it would take me a little while and then I'd have comebacks and they were like, going to get the food. What if you went there, you went to that restaurant where they're supposed to insult you, and you didn't feel insulted enough, so you called the manager over, and you're like, hey, you know what? She was a little too nice.

She checked in to see how we were with our meal. I sense no sarcasm. I'm just not understanding what she's doing. Kimberly, can you come over here for a second? These people are saying that you actually were nice about things. No, I wasn't. I was mean to them. They're saying you were actually really, really nice.

You're actually being meaner to me now than they're saying you were to me. So I would like, while I'm standing here, I'd like you to insult me. I had to work at my family's diner against my will. I'm Greek-American, and we're like down-the-middle stereotypes. Of course you had a diner, yeah. So I grew up with a diner, and I was a busboy, and then I was away. Oh, I love this. Where?

New Jersey. I'm from Jersey Shore. I'm from from that's where i'm from margate ish i had a buddy who lived in toms river that's where i'm from really okay i love it there i bet he knows the diner yeah so this is in beachwood it's called the sandcastle diner okay and still there but anyway i was i was forced to be a waiter and all that stuff against my will and of course the customer's always right and all that stuff always but i was i was working the customer's always right and all that stuff. But I was, I was working for my family. I didn't have a choice. I wanted to work at the gap.

My friends were working in the mall. I was like, I'll have a job. That's not the issue, but you got to let me own it, you know? Right. Right.

But I remember I was, I was told to smile more. So, so very like, so I got like kind of a female experience. Like I know what women have been through in a very small way. You know, I'm not saying I'm a woman or anything.

No, no, no, no. I know, but just being told. But that's that thing that women usually get that more smile more traditionally smile but i was told by my family you know you're not you're not enjoying yourself as you're waiting on people whatever but then i was told i was too slow and all that stuff and then these customers didn't like my service or something so my uncle who is an asshole he brought me uh over to the table

to sort of give me a talking to in front of them. And I remember I was just like, yeah, I'm just trying my hardest. I love it. Oh my God. This is all I got for you. Sorry guys. I'm at a 10 for me right now.

It's like being heckled by your uncle in front of them. And then he told me once, he's like, you better make it at college because you're never going to make it as a waiter. Thank you. And I was like, wow. Do you know what you're saying? Thank you. Exactly. I think we're all on the same page here.

Yeah, I think that was the idea. What is interesting is that your instincts were right. Like your early high school jobs, you have to work for someone you don't like or care about so that you can fuck off at the job. Like that's half of a job when you're in high school. Ask Dan when he dug ditches or graves.

Oh, graves. Yeah, I didn't like working with John Loggins. No, but you also were like, if your family owned the business, but if your family owned the business, then you have a little skin in the game. Then you can't be like, let's take an extra 10 like let's where were you digging graves like what part of the country in rochelle illinois we're like what's the soil like there very it's great soil oh that's very

very easy to get if you're in like a clay area this is a job gets worse mexico you're screwed it was the mosquitoes that were the worst damn because every soil doesn't get you the mosquitoes i was bathing off one time we had to take a We had to get a Casket out That's a whole other story And then we had to open it And then the key didn't work

So that means you have to Saw the hinges You know what Let's save that for our Patreon Some other day Okay It makes sense that they're locked I didn't even think

There were keys for caskets Yeah And the key did not work That's crazy Once you like Start prying it open It's a smell Just to be locked out

It's a smell Alright so and speaking of smells what is this place called let's go back salty two women entered Two women entered Salty's Gulfport Bar on Monday, May 17th, and one left with stolen vibrators in a purse. Caught on camera, the thief walked into the establishment at 5413 Shore Boulevard South.

Wait, are the vibrators on the wall like at a TGI Fridays with sunglasses on them? Were they tracking her? They were stolen earlier, and she brought them with her? No. She stole them from Salty's. So they sell her? They were stolen earlier and she brought them with her? Nope. She stole them from Salties. So they sell vibrators

in the Salties. No, they put them on the wall with sunglasses on it. Oh, it's like a TGI Friday kind of thing. I'll jump the story. Next to a French horn. I'll jump the story,

which some people have said we've done for years. Years ago, we jumped the story. Yeah. I'll jump the story and tell you that I think, if I remember correctly, this bar, and we

could just talk about this for the rest of this, is doing vibrator races. So that's like why they're there. Turn it on, put it on the table, see which one goes the fastest. I thought it was first woman to orgasm. That's a different race. Or man. Yeah. I like it.

You guys are progressive. I like the show. Or man. We have holes too. The thief sat at the bar, then walked to the bucket of sex toys. Could you imagine if you didn't know they were having races and you walk in and you're like, what? Do you throw your business card in the bucket of sex toys? And you get a free lunch.

And lunch is in quotes. You're going to eat something. Here it says, I didn't jump too far. They walked to the bucket of sex toys that were intended for use at a Gulfport Pride charity event, vibrator races, and walked out with them in the mid-afternoon. So these are for a special event. Wow.

Could you imagine if you were in town? For the kids or something, raising money. Could you imagine if you were in any town doing stand-up, you go to this place for lunch, and you're like, well, there's my first 10. I was already having trouble imagining the first part, if I could be in any town doing stand-up, you go to this place for lunch and you're like, well, there's my first 10. I was already having trouble imagining the first part, if I could be in any town doing stand-up. It's like, you already got me.

Do you remember? You had me at hello. No, wait, I can't imagine the amount of Purell I would have to put on a vibrator from a beer. You gotta dump the whole thing. It's gotta be almost light and on fire. You have to be new, rightator from a beer you gotta you gotta dump the whole thing it's gotta have to be new right brand new have to be bucket of sex toys bucket of vibrators bucket of sex toys is my favorite limp biscuit album oh yeah uh the thief walked out with them mid-afternoon her

accomplice went with her that makes it feel like it's a heist well that makes it feel like there was a plan right yeah to- This is like the town. This is going to the black market. Oh, for sure. So you know I have two dogs. You don't know this, but I have two dogs. I have an English Bulldog that's almost 11. It would be weird if I did know that.

Oh, I know. I've been looking through your back window. And then I have a French Bulldog puppy. And so we got the French Bulldog puppy a little bed, and the English Bulldog has a huge bed all in our living room. You had the English bulldog first. First. Ten, almost 11 years old.

There's no problem. You don't know until you bring the other dog home if that's going to work or not. I didn't know, but since it was a puppy, we knew it was okay. The English bulldog gets into her tiny bed and just lays in that all the time, as if to say, oh, for me, this is mine. And I'm like, well, no, that's not yours, but I love that you think it. This is the attitude that I think these women walked into the bar and see a bucket of sex toys and they're like, for me?

Okay, I'll take one. I mean, if you put them next to the mints and the toothpicks, it does feel like need a penny, take a penny. Open mints will never be back. Open mints are gone. That's gone. That's over, right? Open mints at a Chinese restaurant are the way of the buffet in New York. Salty's

owner, JP Brewer. Perfect name for Salty's owner, JP Brewer. Quote, those girls got a couple of court cases against him. Those girls have been calling up here all day. I have one of their names from a bar tab and I gave both their numbers to the police. I'm pressing charges because obviously I don't want the police. I'm pressing charges because obviously I don't want the stolen property back. Wouldn't you not press charges? Yeah, take it. So wait, so it was retaliatory. Yeah, I don't know.

Punitive. This is the day after the crime. J.P. Brewer has never done an interview on television without a baseball hat on. Oh, right. J.P. Brewer has six softball jerseys with his name on the back. And it's not doesn't say Brewer. It says J.P. Brewer has six softball jerseys with his name on the back. And it's not doesn't say Brewer. Says J.P. Brewer. Apparently, one of the women called

the bar to tell a bartender she believed the bucket was full of darts. They're drunk. Is that what she's calling? We know who did it, but we have not yet made contact, said Gulfport Police Chief Rob Vincent. This is a very much we'll get to it when we get to it case for the police. Why are they like we have all the information to solve this case, but we're going to put

this one on the back burner? I'm going to ask you guys, how many vibrators do you think they stole? Or in a bucket of... Oh, did they steal? Yes. How many vibrators? I thought it was just two. I thought it was just two. I never said a number.

Okay. To be true, we were a guest. If they thought they looked like darts. How many darts do you need? Plus, I think the lawn darts, but I don't think they're gigantic. Yeah, that's not even legal. Yeah, so you're right. If you throw them up high enough, they will stick in the ground. I'd say, you know, a bucket, I'd say like 22.

22, Randy, Jason. Did they steal? Yes. I think they stole four. Four from Randy. Nine. Nine. The amount of vibrators that they stole, and we got they steal? Yes. I think they stole four. Four from Randy. Nine. Nine. The amount of vibrators that they stole, and we got more to this story, is 13.

Wow. Baker's dozen. Geez, me. Wait, how many did you say? I said nine, so I'm the closest. Yeah, but I love that you were like just 22 out to get four. 22, you got to bring your own bag. I was conservative.

And how many there were? 13. So yours together were correct. Yes. True. So if we take the scores as a unit. 22 you gotta bring your own bag 13 I was conservative And how many there were 13 13 So J So yours together were correct Yes True So if we take the squarge as a unit

Yes as a unit Which is Kind of has happened a lot Yes Sadly is the way it goes with us According to Brewer You just sadly Sadly true

She Oh my god JP Brewer woman That's a turn Oh What According to Brewer She told

You sexist monster I agree JP I still think she JP Brewer, woman. That's a turn. Oh. What? According to Brewer, she told- He only has four softball jerseys. You sexist monster. I agree. What's wrong with us? JP. I still think she's- Everything you said is still true. Facts.

She still has six softball shirts with her name on it, and she still has never done an interview on TV without a baseball hat on. Facts. She's the type of woman that'd have a baseball hat with the boobs on it. She starts out every sentence with the word well. Well, According to JP Brewer, she told Gulfport police the stolen merchandise was worth how

much money? Let's take a guess. 13 dildos? 13 dildos. See, but now that it's a woman with a bucket of... They're vibrators. They're not just dildos. They're salties. They're vibrators. Vibrators and dildos. The difference between like a... Dildo is you gotta do all the work. Vibrator is... It's the difference between a pommel horse and a mechanical bull.

Exactly. Or like a matchbox car and like a remote control car. For sure. Pommel horse, by the way, could be the name of a vibrator. It probably is. I know it's a kid's name at one of the schools. Stop. Stop.

Pommel. Pommel. Pommel. Pommel, get over here. Put it down. Get on your horse and get over here. Stand next to your brother, Jack. There's always one normal kid name. Your sister.

Stand next to your sister, Jack. JP. Franklin Delano Roosevelt. Come here. What? How much money do you think 13 vibrators is estimated to be worth? 13 vibrators? Oh, my God.

I mean, with the pandemic, everything is more expensive. Well, with the supply chain being broken, lumber. Yeah, it's lumber, chlorine pellets, and- Dart vibrators. Dart vibrators. Are you having chlorine pellet problems? That's such a random question. Sounds medical.

There's like a huge shortage in our country. Yeah, probably. I don't know. So, I think 13 vibrators oh go ahead how much well no go ahead if you got a number ran yeah i think 13 vibrators is probably 315 dollars okay i like that guess to me true jason um yeah i'd say is this we're doing like a price is right thing? No, it doesn't matter. It could be over. It's closest to the pin. Okay, so 13, yeah, 20, yeah, maybe like 280 bucks. Okay.

250. All right. The merchandise was worth $200. Oh. Nice. But that was an offhand estimate of the toys, 11 which were unwrapped and probably worth much more. So they're toys for tots.

Yeah. Of course. Yeah. If you get one in mint condition. By the way, they're not toys for tots. They're toys for tits. Brewer said, I had just picked up three that were priced at $75 each. Well, then it's way over $200.

Wow. $75. After the incident, Brewer posted a photo of the women from the video on her personal Facebook page, of course she did, which almost immediately exploded with puns, jabs, and donation offerings. Of course they were. Jabs. One Facebook user wrote, this post shakes me up a little. I'm rattled.

There you go. Wrote another, I'll send vibes for the cause. There you go. The duo was identified shortly after the photos were shared across several St. Petersburg crime pages, and the vibrator races are still charged up and ready to go. The show will go on, Brewer said. There's a lot of people willing to donate, talk crime, and raise money at the Gulfport Library's

LGBTQ Resource Center. The vibrator race is at 6 p.m. on Saturday. Good to know. At Salty's. I'm going to show you a picture of these. Where are you going this weekend? Did you guys ever get those? When I was a kid, you tried to think of gifts for your mom or dad

For you know Mother's Day, Father's Day, whatever Well my mom would have like Stress like in her neck and stuff So we got her like one of those things That's just like Yes And then when you grow up as a kid

You're like that's basically A vibrator Yeah It's like a shoulder It's a shoulder vibrator Yeah it's a shoulder vibrator But you just think of like your parents Just being like Hey hey, thanks.

It's so nice of you. She didn't know that that's what it was for. She's like, what are my kids doing? I'm having flashbacks. We'll leave here with you guys getting a good look at these two. How about the name of that boat behind it? By the way, these two women wear sunglasses on their head, on top of their head, all the time. Well, it's nice to see that like liberals can do things that's true sure great point boat clearly like

kind of vegan yes it'll be up on the Facebook page jet ski that a move on ever stolen a jet ski yeah the boat behind them is called Poor Decisions P-O-U-R Which is a great name P-O-U-R Decisions Dan did you saw the TikTok that Jay sent This is my favorite thing in the whole wide world And these two women feel like that I love that you guys have embraced TikTok I love it

I told you I don't know I'm still getting the spelling It's just short TV People are funny People are funny on it And also situations are funny No, I'm still getting the spelling. It's just short TV. People are funny. People are funny on it, and then also situations are funny. There's no actual rule.

You don't have to be lip syncing something. No, no, no. There's a variety of things. It just shows you whatever you are. I see. You guys probably get a lot of sports videos, funny kid stuff. Old 70s music performances. Yes, I get a lot of those, too performances I get a lot of those too I get a lot of those it's just how it started or just has it migrated in it's

kind of like say it's kind of like saying tell me what's on YouTube because there isn't just one thing on YouTube right every YouTube is everything you've ever the algorithm is good so there was a thing that today send this to you just I don't know why I'm, obviously I gravitate towards dumb drunk behavior and things like that. The Good Liars, I don't know if you know those guys. The Good Liars are

essentially a more aggressive daily show that has infiltrated the Trump world. Two guys went in and they just do field pieces. But then they also were very close to Trump in like a little thing recently. And while he was talking, they're like, this is boring. Do funny – say funny things.

And he's like – Trump is totally flustered. He's like, get out of here. And they're like, you're boring. You're a boring man. But then they're like, we love you. Do the funny things you do. Do the stuff when it's funny. And he didn't know what to do because they were wearing Make America Great hats again.

I freaking love these guys. It was so funny. There was a video. I'm going to hold it and save it for when we come back after the break. I'll tell you what this video is because it was just so funny. We're done. Let's go to break. Story one, down in the books. I love it.

Demetri Martin is with us. We'll find out what's going on with him and give you this story. I'm riffing. He's riffing. I love it. It'sri Martin is with us. We'll find out what's going on with him and give you this story. I'm riffing. He's riffing. I love it. It's Don't People Town. Don't go anywhere. Stick around. Make a sound. There's more Don't People Town. Hey guys, welcome back to the show. I want to hip you guys

to a few things about us before we advance in the show. Dan is about to go on an epic tour, which means he's in the Together Again tour. There are going to be so many dates. If you live anywhere near him. A lot of them are for sale. Tickets are out live right now. DanielVanKirk.com. These are good-sized

venues, but these are venues that will sell out. So if you're thinking about going, get your tickets. A lot of them have capacity restrictions and stuff like that. So just please go to DanielVanankirk.com get your tickets to see him if you're an hour away two hours away

drive go to drive and see it Dan hangs out after the shows it's super fun and they might restrict they might keep restricting until it's just a few people it's just Dan talking to one person

we don't know what's going to happen that Steve Martin sketch on Saturday Night Live the most exclusive restaurant in New York it's just him so it's just so if you want to be

the one guy that dance talking to or one woman do that please we don't know what's gonna happen with this for sure so live stand-up is so wonderful I know we've been out doing it again

and audiences are loving it and there's the electric feeling between comic and audience it is the best possible way for you to support us you guys have done indoor so far we did

the improv oh nice great okay good and we've got a bunch of outdoor shows jam the van and supernova is so much fun but anyway but uh so check that out danivancurk.com also we started our own patreon and we just did our put together our first episode of cheap seats our old show on asbn classic we did a new one our first new one ever first new episode let me say this from my heart we didn't know a if it would be funny i did well thank you but we just didn't know if it would we don't have the full machine

that's making the show like we did before and we're like yeah but you're the machine we're the machine so we didn't you don't have the full production you have the machine right you're the machine we are the machine so but no but we are and we and we sat down and we watched the show a bunch of times We wrote a bunch of jokes for it And then we riffed on it Live It's so funny

You guys could have watched it cold And I still I'm telling you I don't want you to get lazy But you could No but we weren't sure And then we did it And then we just saw a cut of it

You know from having done Your own show You get that first cut back Of your show And you're like Is this a half hour So we did it It's like each show I think we're going to do is between-

22, 23 minutes. It's almost like a half hour show. Wow, that is- 50 to 20 minutes. You're doing a full- It's a full show. You guys are too nice. You should do like 10 minute videos.

I know. Look, we're trying our best, and so we're going to do a new episode every month. So for our Patreon fans, you get a new episode of this show. New ones haven't been made since 2006. There's only one place where they're going, and that's to our Patreon. Patreon.com, Scalabrothers, and we're going to do some other things on there. We already just recorded a bunch of those, so check it out. Join if you can. So great. It's only one place where they're going, and that's to our Patreon. Patreon.com, Sklar Brothers. And we're going to do some other things on there. We already just recorded a bunch of those. So check it out.

Join if you can. It's only five bucks. Five bucks. Yeah, there's only one level. All right, Dimitri, what's going on with you? Can I ask you again? I'm sorry. Sure.

Patreon is a subscription service. To exclusive content. Exclusive content just for you. And if you go to a website, then that's where you'll get this. Patreon.com, search Sklar Brothers, and then you can find us. All video. It's all video. Some audio.

There is some audio. There's video, audio, and you can do photos, too, but it's a mix of all those things. But for us right now, we're putting mostly video content up. And we're like, man, this is something we want to do, and we're going to try and do it in the best possible. Yeah, that's cool. It's cheaper seats. That's great. It's like if you can get cheaper than the cheap seats,

then we're in the nosebleeds, so to speak. But yeah, but I mean, for us also, it is a, you know, as comedians, this is a straight up, we're going to be honest, like while we're waiting for projects to come, this is a way for us to support ourselves and for you guys to get cool things. So it's sort of like everybody wins. If anything, it's more for the fans.

Yeah, we love it. It's interesting of like, oh, it's a fair exchange. Everybody wins. If anything, it's more for the fans. Yeah, we love it. It's interesting because it's content generators. I mean, I can't keep up with the platforms and how stuff moves, but I feel like if you find people who like your stuff and you're actually generating content. New stuff. Yeah, and so when we watched it, it came very close to what the old show was to us

in the spirit of it and all that way. Better in some ways because we're better joke writers. So we were elated, and I feel like for fans, you'll love it. All right, enough of that. Shall we get into another story? Well, what are you going to show the video? Oh, yeah.

I don't know, nothing. I would tell everyone who hasn't seen Dean to go watch Dean. Oh, thanks, man. So good. I appreciate that. No, I just started doing dates. I'm going to do my first real show in three days in Vegas.

Nice. But I don't know. It doesn't matter. Where in Vegas, though? The Wynn Casino. Great. Oh, yeah. I saw, who did I see on state, like a photo of Bargatze at the Wynn.

Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah, he was on that list. Sounds like they're doing good comedy there. Yeah, I think so. So I'm curious. I've only done three spots back. I didn't do any Zoom shows during the thing. You're going to do an hour

at the win? Are you going to start just going once a month or something there? No, I'm just, I don't know. And then I don't know what others,

I'm writing and I actually, I've been painting a lot but I got nothing to promote but I like painting. People should see Dean. I saw it at the Arclight. Oh, did you?

Thanks. Yeah, Rory and I went together and it was Amazon. We can pick that up on like, just. I think it's on Amazon. Yeah, it's a I went together. Oh, cool, cool. You won't take it. Amazon, we can pick that up on like just- I think it's on Amazon. Yes. Yeah, it's a movie I made a couple years ago. It's very good.

It's six years ago now. Yeah, but yeah, I'm writing a bunch of stuff and trying to sell, like you guys, I'm just- Selling ideas. Trying to sell stuff and writing fart jokes. I love it. Go to his, is there dimitrimartin.com where people can get the tickets? You're on it, dude. You're on it. You know, I'm pretty good at self-promoting. You gonna say give me a horrible you better go to college because you're gonna be a horrible website or waiter I hate to say

it I don't hate to say it but having young kids it's like I'm bandwidth it's bandwidth I yeah I just kind of can't split my attention well enough yeah no no but I'm like yeah fuck up my career other than my kids. But I'll tell you this. Like, in a few years, your kids will be up on these social media platforms a little bit. They'll help you get to that place. And they'll help you get on it, like my son has for me. It'll all dovetail.

You'll be like, okay, my desire to be with my kid will now introduce me to the new technology that my shit's going to be on. Well, as we're saying this, I'm thinking I've heard of the stage parent thing where the parents, like the manager, the kid. But what I haven't heard is if you train your kids to be your manager. Social media guides. Gurus. So he can be my webmaster. Are there webmasters anymore? No.

Yes. There's brewmasters. There's a JP Brewer master. There you go. So I've got to tell the video. I was going to explain the video. Should I show it? Yes, you should show it.

You can show it and put it up next to the microphone. How meaty is this? Do you just wanna do it for the second bit? No. Should we do it for the third bit? Sure. Let's do it for the third bit. I'm gonna save it.

That's a tease and a tease. What are you, Stern? Yeah. You just keep saying, we're gonna do this thing later. Randy and I recently had to guest host, and we're doing it a couple more times this month, Jim Rome's radio show. It's a national sports talk radio like Stern

I was bummed I couldn't call in and goof around you can't so we're doing it at the end of July three dates and August two days it what we learned is like how to take the least amount of material that we've written and we write a ton of stuff for every show and we make an outline and jokes and all this stuff that we put in there and we're like how can we make one show last for two shows? That is the Stern model. You guys are like a pizza place at the end of the night with only so much dough.

The Stern, stretch it out, everyone's getting thin crust. But you think about how Stern, like the old days of Stern, Caby comes in and he's got like an argument, someone's having an argument, one of the two people who work for him, he gins it up. He gets the thing up

and he's like, let's get him in here. And the other guy comes in and does one whole segment. They get him all worked up. Now you get out of here when we come back

the next segment, the other guy. Then they come up with an idea for the, even if you don't love Stern and there are a lot of people who he's just polarizing in certain ways,

but a lot of people love him and I particularly think it's amazing. You have to appreciate how he's been able toreg fitzsimmons who was like auditioning for the yeah he did this but he was auditioning for the arty role before arty got it oh wow and so he was on for a bunch of times and his father was in radio and he would just sit there he said one time howard stern was going in one direction on some on a something he just started he started digging into this one little little strand and fitzy's

like sitting up there and he's just sitting back and he's like what is he doing where is he going with this and like at a certain point he struck like oil and it just for the next three hours that's all they were talking about and he was like i couldn't see wow that he knew where he was going he knew where it was gonna go and he's like it's just at that moment he said this guy's a master yeah he's a dungeon master so all right are you ready for story two story two okay sent in by it's i can't it's like verbal kent but it's bc 3000 b e c e 3000 thank you so much bc 3000 here we go woman practicing self-care in parking lot tells cops she thought she was in Florida. That heaven? That's like another place that's not heaven or hell.

I just think there's people, if you leave Florida and then you do something that could get you arrested, you think like, oh, I thought I was in Florida. Where was she? Did she say? I think she's in Minneapolis. Self-care is... I thought maybe she was in Georgia. Does she steal a vibrator? Pretty close. Responding to multiple 911 calls about a naked woman walking around and jumping in and out of vehicles at a car dealership. Oh, wow.

Dude, sometimes you got to test drive the... Ma'am, are you looking to lease? Are you looking to lease? There is that saying that a car is the largest vibrator. It is true. Also, I just imagine the car dealership being like, who's up? Glenn, you're up. That's yours. You're up, Glenn. It is true. Also, I just imagine the cardio should be like, who's up? Glenn, you're up. That's yours. You're up, Glenn. Get out there.

Ma'am, could I get you into something? What's it going to take to get you into a sweatshirt? How you doing, ma'am? We take a hands-off approach. I'm sure you'd appreciate that. Hands on a soft body? Nice reference. You got a trade-in, or how you looking to do this today

i'm assuming you don't have any identification right i wish that they were shooting a local commercial while she's in the background what do they say when you drive a car off the lot it immediately starts depreciating right as soon as she sits in it it goes down it goes up funny thing about this car it used to have a new car smell right now it just smells like janine uh she's at a car dealership jumping in and out of vehicles minnesota cops discovered the nude suspect pleasuring herself while splayed that is is not the word you needed. But somebody wants to be a writer. Splayed. Across the floor of a pickup truck, according to a court filing.

Police dispatchers last Sunday were initially told that the naked woman was sitting alone in a Pontiac SUV. So this is a used car dealership. There haven't been Aztecs in like 10 years. What did I see the other day? You don't think there's Pontiacs anymore. No, no, no. I saw an SUV that I've never seen the name of. What was it?

So Pontiac, if you know what an Aztec is, it's like way taller than like a car. Aztecs are gone. They were actually cool. But wasn't that in Breaking Bad? If you're going to name it Aztec, it's going to be self-fulfilling. Exactly. It won't last long. It's an ancient civilization.

Right, yeah. The Oldsmobile Mayan. Wait, what was I just telling you? it's gonna self-fulfilling exactly it won't last long it will be an ancient civilization right yeah the Oldsmobile Mayan wait what was I just telling you I said there was you saw an SUV you saw one and I forgot the name of it I forgot the name

but I've never seen it the Aspen no the Niro what was the make I'm trying to remember now I just called you with it I know

I told you on the road do you remember the brand I can't remember the brand but I've never ever heard of it before I've never seen it before I told you on the road. Do you remember the brand? I can't remember the brand, but I've never, ever heard of it before. I've never seen it before. I'm like, who asks for that? It was Nissan.

Nissan. Nissan. Nissan. Pick me. No. I'm going to look up. It wasn't a Niro? No, it wasn't a Niro.

That's from the Matrix. No, no. It's not a Rogue. That's their new SUV. It's very small. No, it's not a Rogue. It's not a Juke? It's not a Juke.

The Juke's a good one. No. It wasn't that? I always thought like the Chevy Wimp. It's not small. No, it's not a Rogue. It's not a Juke? It's not a Juke. The Juke's a good one. No. It wasn't that? I always thought like the Chevy Wimp. It's not the Araya. Go the way down. It's not the Kicks. It's GMC Wimp.

The Kia Flaccid. Remember the Eagle Talon? Yes, I loved those. That was 1994's Nissan Probe. Right. Nissan Probe. Remember. Nissan Probe. Remember the Probe? Remember the Mitsubishi Stealth?

Does anybody remember that? It was the Nissan Armada. Ooh. How many? Have you ever? It's only one. Do you want to go to war? It's like the only car with a spoiler on the front.

It floats. That's what they should say. It barely floats. Okay. The invade your she's splayed she's all splayed out police dispatchers last sunday were initially told that she was sitting alone inside a pontiac suv and that she quote looked happy and did not appear to be hurt but appeared to be possibly under the influence yeah don't touch her. Don't talk to her. When police arrived in Mankato, 80 miles from Minneapolis. Mankato.

From Mankato. Do you hear about that girl? She got into that SUV, started doing it. She was making her own hot dish right down south. It's like cream of mushroom soup. Side note, in a Patreon episode, when it's just us, can we talk about the new season of Alone on Netflix? Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's like cream of mushroom soup. Side note, in a Patreon episode when it's just us, can we talk about the new season of Alone on Netflix? Oh, yeah. Pontiac. The Pontiac

was found running with its driver's side door open, but the vehicle was empty. Nearby officers spotted a Chevrolet Silverado with its rear driver's side door open. It is a used car lot. They also noticed feet sticking out of the door. That is a ma'am approach. Ma'am? Ma'am. Ma'am, I'm walking up to the door. That is a ma'am approach.

Ma'am? Ma'am. Ma'am, I'm walking up to the door. Ma'am, please prepare yourself. Please tell me you are wearing jean shorts. Upon approaching the SUV, a patrolman spotted Jennifer Dorit Weber. She is one letter away from Dorito. Dorit?

Yeah. Dorit Weber laying across the floor of the second row. How many rows are in a truck? I mean, if you are the used car salesman, you're like, enough room to pleasure yourself and lay. So you'll see. You'll see. You can sleep here.

There's enough room for Jennifer Dorit. Versatile vehicle, ma'am. Anything you want to do in this magazine Roomie second row The naked Weber This is summer right It has to be summer You can't be naked You could be if you think you're in Florida

The naked Weber was on her back Feet in the air Three words just for dumb people town Digitally penetrating herself, but not in an electronic sense. Cops say that Weber was making nonsensical comments

and she thought that she was in St. Petersburg, Florida. Asked what brought her to the Mankato area, Weber replied, to please the boys. Investigators noted that Weber continued to masturbate as she spoke with officers. Just while we're talking. Can you not while we're talking?

Let's have normal conversations. That's multitasking. Over the next hour, who had summoned an EMS crew, the EMS crew tried to coax Weber out of the SUV. Throughout this time, Weber kept saying things and continued to pleasure herself. Finally, after prolonged negotiations, Weber exited the SUV and was taken into custody. Police say she had drug paraphernalia and methamphetamines with her.

Did she buy the truck? She put a down payment down. She promised to come back in two days. That truck is hers. I just like the idea of coaxing. I feel like coax makes me think of an animal, like a raccoon. Right.

You put a little baby room. I'm not going to hurt you. Come on. You got this. Easy, girl. You got this. Easy, girl. Easy, girl.

The SUV's owner told police. Petting her on the side of the neck. The SUV's owner told police that his vehicle was being serviced and that Weber did not have permission to enter the Chevy. She said she was being serviced. This wasn't even for sale. Vehicle isn't the only thing being serviced. This is like the guy who was the mechanic there.

That's his car? That's his car. Yes. Oh, she's not even in one of the cars. Okay. Weber was subsequently booked into county jail for indecent exposure, narcotics possession, DWI, and entering a vehicle without owner's permission all of which are mr daddy what smells weird in the back seat we're gonna get out of here on this nothing entering a vehicle without owner's

permission yeah i thought of that crime but that is sort of breaking an engine it is a b e which i guess like if it's a mobile home you you're really. Yeah, you're a mobile home. Forget about it. It's a double whammy. Every time you get into the wrong Uber. You get it for, yeah, no. You break the law. Do you, if you get into the wrong Uber? I mean, you didn't have permission to get in the car. You didn't have permission.

How old is Jennifer Dorito Weber? Dorito? Yes. Take your guess. Any of you. Demetrius? 36. 36 years old?

26. 26 from Jason. 51. I'll Jason. 51. I'll tell you this. One of you is only one year off. Okay, so now we have- So now all of you need to either go up a year or down a year. So from 36, where do you want to go?

37. 37. 27. 27. 52. Jennifer Dorito Clever. Cool Ridge. Cool Ridge Dorito. She Cool Ridge Cool Ridge Doritos

She's 50 Is 35 years old You were there You were so close You get the win But you almost had the When's her birthday

When did this happen She could have already turned She could have turned She definitely turned She definitely turned And is it Florida time Or That's true

How old is she in St. Peter's Oh that's 50 There you go Not St. She definitely turned. And is it Florida time? That's true as well. How old is she in St. Peter's? Oh, that's 50. There you go. Not St. Peter's, St. Paul. She borrowed from St. Peter's to pay St. Paul. So I'm going to describe this TikTok one when we come back after this break. And it involves, I can just, my glee at watching it, and I hope that I get the same.

We'll put the link on the Facebook page too. We'll put the link on the Facebook page. It. We'll put the link on the Facebook page. It just made me so happy. In front of two other friends, I laughed so hard. My friends were like, I've never seen you laugh this hard. I sent it to you because I was losing my mind. And then in bed last night, my wife, I was like. Save all this.

Okay. It's right after this. Demetri Martin, we're going to talk about just a crazy. We'll do a little Patreon, and then you'll get to hear this. That's right. We'll do it right now. Stick around, make it sound

for more Dumb People Town. All right, Ran, take us home with this crazy video that I sent you, damn it. I deserve a little credit at the beginning.

You deserve all the credit in the world. So we talked about TikTok, about this. Hold on, the first thing I want to know from Jason. Yes. What was was the context because here's the thing one of the reasons tiktok works no context one of the reasons tiktok works is because

the next thing you go to can comes out of complete like left field you know what i mean like it always hits you with like i don't know what you're gonna see so what context were you seeing it when it crushed you? Were you just on your couch? So I was, so my daughter, like, she watched the trailer for It mistakenly. And now she is terrified. That's a bit. And now she is terrified. So she was sleeping in my bed. She's sleeping in my bed with my wife, and they're already asleep. My son,

who watched the entire second volume of Faces of Death by accident. By mistake. My son accidentally watched Emanuel 5. My son was,

he's in this phase now where he wants to stay up super late with me and I can barely do it anymore and he wants to watch 30 Rock. So we're watching 30 Rock from the beginning. Super fun, but I have to wait for him to be done texting and hanging with his friends for us to start.

So in that waiting time, I sit in this red chair in my living room, this comfy kind of space chair. See what TikTok has to offer. And I'm like, hit me with some stuff. And I'll read some news and I'll meditate for like 20 minutes and I'm waiting. I'm just waiting for him to come. And I'm like, hit me with some stuff and I'll watch, you know, I'll read some news and I'll meditate for like 20 minutes and I'm waiting. I'm just waiting for it to come.

And then you'll undo it. And then I'll undo it with TikTok. That's right. Undo everything. Post-meditation TikTok is like, it's like a gift. It's like eating something

after you've worked out. You're like, I can do this. I can have this. I just did it consciously. I stretched my brain. I did a smart thing but I can do a dumb thing.

But, so I'm watching the TikTok and there's some great – it's a mix of like Dan says. It's a reflection of what you're interested in. It's like golf tips. There's some weird workout videos. There's some other like all this political stuff,

like the good liar stuff. So funny. And then this video – and dumb people doing dumb things because I search for it for Dumb People Town. I always like something. Whenever I see someone doing something super dumb, I like it. This video came on and I made the loudest laugh to where my son ran out of his bedroom to think to see if I was OK. And I thought I was going to wake up.

I can't tell you how much. So I immediately just sent it to Randy. No caption. No, nothing. It just comes to me as a TikTok. And the caption on the TikTok, it doesn't even tell you what it is. It just says Megan Crowley on TikTok. That's all it says.

Wow. So I have no idea what I'm about to see. I mean, it could be the trailer for it. And I purposely did that. I purposely was like, I'm not going to tell you what this is. And now what are you doing? Just bed scrolling? No, I don't know where I was.

And I watched it. I laughed so hard. I got my wife. I was like, you have to see this. You are going to die. And we laughed so hard. It's like willful stupidity. You get into the minds of every single person in this thing. It's a moment captured.

So some TikToks are designed. People are like, I'm going to do this, or I'm giving it. So some TikToks are designed. People are like, I'm going to do this or I'm giving it. This is just someone capturing a moment at the end of a drunken night. Okay. All right. So I don't know how to do this.

Should I show it? Yeah, just show it to us. And hold it right up by the microphone so people can hear it. It's okay. He just took a speech. She's fine. Girl laying in took a speech She's fine Girl laying in the bushes She's fine Laying in the bushes

Like feet out Does alcohol float I'm just wondering If you want to go Does alcohol float If I didn't jump in the bush I'm gonna Another girl

Other set of bushes She's doing it Boom She did it she did it she did it she did it bad she did it bad she's literally

she's literally fine so she's literally fine is an audio that's used in a lot of videos so that like if you tap on that first part that audio is from a different video and it gets used a lot when it's just like people like somebody laying on a sidewalk and they're like we gotta get into the uber and then they just play like she's literally fine but you never little production but then what you never get so that's why it switches to like yeah audio of the situation you never get a second with the other girl who goes i'm gonna do that

first she says does alcohol float? Which you're like, that's kind of a brilliant query, if you will. Is that philosophy? Science, yeah. Science, but also philosophy. Also for the listener at home, there are minimum. Does it float as an idea? Minimum four other people who at any point could be like, stop, Rachel. Right.

So there is a woman lying in a hedge. Kimberly. She's lying on her back. She's lying on her back and her feet are out on the ground. Right. Stop. So there is a woman lying in a hedge. Kimberlin. She's lying on her back. She's lying on her back. And her feet are out. On the ground. Right. But she's like reclining into a hedge.

Which has to hurt. She's asleep. As Demetri understands, when you have little kids, you never get sleep. Right. I want to ask you if you have slept in a comfortable bed as peaceful as that woman was sleeping in the hedge right there. She is so happy. It's been seven years since you had a good night's sleep.

So happy. This woman is so peaceful. She's not hurting anyone. Maybe the hedge a little bit. She's just sleeping there. Hurts nobody. But the other woman is just like, she's getting too much.

She got jealous. She's like, I want to do it. She's like, I'm going feet first. So she said, someone says. The shuffling of her feet. Someone says, this alcohol floats. And then this. No one answers her.

No one answers her. Because they're all trying to tend to this woman. Like, is she alive? Is she going to swallow her own tongue? Like, we don't know what's going to happen. And then she announces, the other girl announces to everyone. I'm going to jump in the bush. I'm going to jump in the bush. I'm going to jump in the bush.

Here's the thing that people need to remember, and I know you can't remember it when you're drunk. Bushes are not crowds at like a Nirvana concert. They are not going to equally serve. If she is completely held up by a bush, and she was, the first girl. I don't know how she was. There are two or three branches that are like into her yes it is not an even distribution there was a little branch coming through her stomach she doesn't realize so the other one jumps in and then she did it she did it i'm gonna go she did someone's like

she did it she did it she did a cocktail dress did no no no she's in like a she did it bad which is another play she did it bad which it should be She did it bad. Which is another play on TikTok audio. She did it bad. Which it should be. She did it badly because it's an adverb, but they, of course, are getting it again. Which is another play on TikTok audio, which is a very famous one where they go, girl, don't do it. I'm not going to do it.

Don't do it. I'm not going to do it. And then she goes, I did it. And then they play on that at the end. She's playing on it. So it's like, I did it. She did it bad. She did it bad.

But this is the type of thing where I will show this again to you, and I guarantee, unlike comedy where it's like you tell a joke, it's already there. We've already surprised people. You should show this to your kids and go, don't ever get this drunk. And if you do get this drunk, you need to be with people who care about you. Look, there's one guy trying to help her. Another guy's laughing.

She's wearing like a bikini dress. That hurts. She did it. She did it. Bad. She did it bad. She did it bad. Oh, my God. What do I do with them? So, wait. So, that's audio from another thing, too. No, the end is her.

The end was our camera person talking. That is real. Yeah, but she was just playing us. She's imitating a common meme. She's kind of like doing her version of this like common thing. She did it. She did it. There is just that behavior. We talk about this on stage.

We're like, when will we be quote unquote fully back from this pandemic? She did it. She did it. There is just that behavior. We talk about this on stage. We're like, when will we be quote unquote fully back from this pandemic? I think it will be when we see dumb behavior like this everywhere. Right. Even outside of the South. In the bushes. In the bushes. Outside bars. In Minneapolis.

In the U.S. In the U.S. In the U.S. In the U.S. In the U.S. In the U.S. In the U.S. In the U.S.

In the U.S. In the U.S. In the U.S. In the U.S. In the U.S. In the U.S. In the U.S. In the U.S.

In the U.S. In the U.S. In the U.S. In the U.S. In the U.S. In the U.S. In the U.S. In the U.S.

In the U.S. In the U.S. In the U.S. In the U.S. In the U.S. In the U.S. In the U.S. In the U.S.

In the U.S. In the U.S. In the U.S. In the U.S. In the U.S. In the U.S. In the U.S. In the U.S.

In the U.S. In the U.S. In the U.S. In the Ann Arbor, Michigan. Actually, when it's in the third world, that's when we're really good. Yeah, that's right. When we exported our dumb to other countries. When they're fully back. We did it. We did it. She did it.

She did it. She did it. But her commentary of she did it is almost assuming the nonverbal thing coming to her like she didn't do it. Right. And then she answers no one who said she didn't do it with she did it. But Demetri had the nail in the head with that girl was like, how do I get this many people to look at me? Thank you. like she didn't do it. Right. And then she answers no one who said she didn't do it with she did. But Demetria hit the nail on the head with that girl

was like, how do I get this many people to look at me? Thank you. Guys, what do you say? Drunk people just like, there's a level of drunkenness

where you want people to like, you become a toddler. You want to show people what you can do. She's like, I got the idea. It's mating, right? I'm guessing

just single people are out and they're like, oh my gosh, so now they're going to want her because she's in that bush. She's in the bush. I'm going to be the... Or are out. Yes, totally. And they're like, oh my gosh, now they're going to want her. Right. Because she's in that bush. She's in the bush. I'm going to be the... Or she's in a gross, sick way. She's alerting these dudes that she is drunker than she's ever been.

I don't think so. I think she might be. I think there's part of her. I think she was like... Whether she's conscious of that or not. She wanted to be taken care of. Someone take care of me. I love how philosophical this got.

What if she just saw her friend like peacefully laying in the bush and was like, I want that. I want to do that. Not that I want attention. Right. I want that too.

I want to lay in the bush like she's laying in the bush and then boom. It's so like biblical. It's just one person to jump in the pool. Hey man, sometimes a bush,

that's like sometimes the bush talks to you. How far into the second bush does she regret her choice or is she too drunk? I mean, let's, man, sometimes the Bush talks to you. How far into the second Bush does she regret her choice? Or is she too drunk? Dude, how far into the second Bush? That's 2000 politics right there. 2007? Do we start regretting the first Bush?

Two in the Bush is worth one in the hand. Oh, my God. To bring it down for a sec, I remember reading a thing about people who had survived suicide attempts in the Bay Area. Yes. Have you heard about that? Because there were netting and stuff. for a sec i have remember reading a thing about people who had survived suicide attempts yeah uh in the bay area yes i've heard about that because they were netting and stuff sure people just actually live and there was nobody who didn't say they regretted it massively right after right they stepped off the bridge yeah immediately they were like oh no they've said that like they've no one's ever come out of the water who lived when not yelling like help me right after they go off the edge of the bridge

so she did it she did it we had so much fun Dimitri Martin you are such a lovely guest I'm sorry guys I ended on that bridge no we can edit it

he did it he did it bad guys're not going to. He did it. He did it. He did it bad. He did it bad. Guys, we love you so much. Thanks for tuning in. And we've got more great guests coming up this month and beyond. Go see Dan live. Go check out our Patreon.

And oh shit, we've got to get back to work. Dum, dum, dum, dum. Dum, dum, dum, dum. Dum, dum, dum, dum. Dum, dum, dum, dum. Dum, dum, dum, dum. dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb