Dumb People Town - DPT LIVE - Ryan Sickler - All 4 Nips

Episode Date: April 27, 2021

This week Dumb People Town goes live as Daniel, Jason and Randy welcome Ryan Sickler and musical guest The Cactus Blossoms. To kick off the show, Daniel reads some amazing headlines. In story one, a woman stuffs her bra. In story two, we have an altercation in a strip club.

Skye Payne's Avenue Couldn't make this up. So listen to our podcast jam with co-host Armand Dan. Man, don't be a jerk. Cause when the music gets to funny hits, we are gonna take you down. Stick around. Make a sound. Hunker down. It's Dump People Town. Let's kick this show off the way we always do with some incredible music.

Would you please welcome our friends, the Cactus Blossoms! That's right. Everybody else, mute your mics, please, just during the music, and then you can rejoin if you'd like. Oh, okay. All right, guys, it's all you. All you. All right, here we go.

Tell me, baby, what I gotta do. I've been waiting for a lifetime to find a girl like you. You're so cool. Baby, I'm no fool Takes one to know one And I found me I'm just an esperado Down by Mexico I've been everywhere you want to go

I'm Mr. Desperado Always been alone You're the only one who brings me home I'm Mr. Desperado Down by Mexico I've been everywhere you want to go I'm just an esperado Always been alone You're the only one who brings me home

You're the only one You're the only one You're the only one who brings me home Tell me, baby What I gotta do Yes! Oh, man. You guys should have done some love.

Oh, yes, boys. So good. So good. Just, yeah, just amazing. You guys sound great. I'm just so happy you guys learned how to play music to overcome your looks. And, you know, thank God for guitars. Hard on the eyes.

Neither of you would get laid ever. And it just is a shame. I'm just glad you guys became the beautiful musicians that you did. Well, listen, you're with us this whole show. I can't wait for these guys to hear your version of the dumb people town theme song and then when it's over you guys can unmute and shower them with unbelievable applause but let's mute up and let them play the theme song i love you guys dan and rain and jay will share tales of folks so unaware They lack in grace And sometimes choose

The life they choose will make the news Breaking down each epic fail In Florida There's half past bail I'm happy to say They couldn't make This up So listen to our podcast jam

With co-host Our man Dan Take this up. So listen to our podcast jam. With co-host our man Dan Van Kirk. Don't be a jerk. Cause when the music quits the funny hits in. We are gonna take you down. Hunker down. Jump around. Make a sound.

It's Dumb People Town. Come on. sound it's dumb people with that i say welcome to a live episode of Dumb People Down. Population, you. Population, you and us. We're so happy to have you here. So happy. Cactus Blossoms, sit tight. Jack and Paige, you guys are amazing, and I can't wait to hear the music you play throughout, but we've got you for some games at the top of this thing.

Let's bring in our guest. Before we do that, do we have to make fun of your hat? Yeah, I'm sorry. Let's make fun of my hat. Do we have to make fun of his hat? I mean, I don't know that we have to make fun of your wife? Yeah, I'm sorry. Let's make fun of my dog. Do we have to make fun of his hat? I don't know if we need to make fun of his hat. I don't know if Dan's shirt is compensating

for the other guy's shirt. He's going too many buttons high. Yeah, for sure. I have to. There's got to be balance. Dan's in the touring company of Stand and Deliver. For sure. Randy looks like he tried to buy the most expensive thing at California Adventure. Randy's participating in the touring company of Jurassic Park.

It's a musical. That's right. It's tragic. Yeah. Randy looks like his hat's made out of everything that Harvey Weinstein loved. Felt. Randy looks like he's lobbying to be the

group master. Is it the group master? The den mother of a brownies troop. Is that possible? That's not good. Brownies don't sell cookies, do they? I don't think they're allowed to. Show everybody the options for this hat that we were going through before.

Brim up or brim down. Now turn to the side. And I said it looks like he's going to lose the farm. It looks like Illinois Jones, not Indiana Jones. I look like I'm on an illegal safari. Right.

Like me and a dentist. You look like you're going to show up drunk to your stepson's basketball game. That's a foul. That's a foul. Hey, hey, get him out of here. Come on, get him out of here. You can't be on the court. You cannot be on the court.

You can't hand check. No, no, no. Where's my whip? Normally I would joke about how you look like a private detective, but with the broom down, you look like a private detective that got fired. You know how most private detectives are down

on their luck? When the brim is down, I look like a private detective who's got it all together. Yes. When the brim is down, you look like a private detective who was fired because he went too public. That's the problem with that. Ready? Go get brim down again. Okay. Works at a carnival. Go brim

up. Owns the carnival. It's a big difference. Tour manager for ZZ Top. Yeah. 16-year-old son has a ZZ Top mirror that he does coke on. There you go. It still looks good though

alright so before we bring out our guest I'm sorry we gotta goose this engine a little bit we do a little thing we call headlines to get these headlines these are headlines that are sent in by the beautiful townies anybody can do that and you can do it by

that's my handle hashtag dumb people town on twitter that's where I pull these from sent in by the beautiful townies. Anybody can do that. And you can do it by at Daniel Van Kirk. That's my handle. Hashtag dumb people town on Twitter. That's where I pull these from. If you haven't figured it out yet, that's why I'm telling you. Okay, here we go. Ready?

So these are stories that wouldn't have made it into the show for one reason or another. Okay. But the headline itself is great. Oh, by the way, I get the shocking news every week. Do you get the shocking news? I do.

I get it delivered to my front door. Yes. Okay, great. Here we go. Sent my front door. Yes. Okay, great. Here we go. Sent in by Josh. I never figured this out. By the way, I get all of my internet news

delivered at my front door. Really? Yeah. The shocking news would just be all of those clickbaits at the bottom. You won't believe

what they look like now. You won't believe what the cast of Charles in Charge looks like. Three little rascals you'd fuck and one you wouldn't. Okay, here we go. Alfalfa, alfalfa, alfalfa

and alfalfa. I hate your stinking guts. Alfalfa's like, that's not the only thing that stands at attention. I should have been the one called Spanky. Folks, help! Sent in by Josh Mout. Harry Carey would retire over this.

M-O-U-A-T. He had a bad case in the mouth. He did? Lost his foot. No. Lost his foot with a case in the mouth. Josh at J-Mout. Okay, here we go.

I'm going to say the headline, then we're going to look at a great image. I can't wait. Furries pulled Assalter out of vehicle and sat on him. Look at this. Yes. This is their dream. You usually have to pay extra for this. Somebody got

off. So this piece of shit hit somebody and then these furries who are, I was once leaving a convention in a previous life in Orlando, Florida. And the day I'm leaving was the day the furry convention started. The coolest group of people ever.

Yes, because they come from like a part of our culture where they're like we're used to people being shitty to us. So we're nice. Yeah, like we're what we welcome everybody. Our grail is the san diego chicken yes right and so they're at something and then i'm guessing they saw this go down and they were like not on this half bat half squirrels watch yes because i don't know if you can tell but the well you can see it in the far right the red one right. The red one has wings.

The red one has wings. Would this qualify for the show when animals attack? Yes. Does it count? Or defend. When animals defend. When animals defend. When they fight back.

I love this. Fight back with David Horowitz. David Horowitz was a furry. Did you know that? No. Yes, he was. Okay. Have you ever?

I'm sure you haven't. If you were going to be a furry, what animal would you be? Obviously, I feel like bear is too on the nose for me. But if I was going to be a furry, what would you be? Is it weird if I say elephant? No. No. Because you never forget that that's what you were going to be.

I think i'd make a great furry do you think people would make junk in their trunk jokes about you i hope so what am i putting in a costume on floor but like like one of like those super sports cars the trunk is in the front right yes of course and you never want to have too much junk in a front front trunk a front butt junk your front trunk should never have so much like you guys would both be really good cats I think Jay and I should be panda bears

good call we're exact like like carbon opposites of her you know what I mean you're you're I'll be like white with like black things around my back with white would be so great okay you ready for headline number two okay headline number two

this image is good send in by Justin Shelton at Justin B Shelton guys Justin's B Shelton I know Justin B Shelton ladies be shopping Justin B Shelton okay here we be shopping. Justin B. Shelton.

Okay, here we go. Athens man. And she be Carlene. I'm going to read this headline, then I'm going to show you the photo because the headline is surpassed by the photo. Athens man pulled from river after high-speed pursuit crash. Ready? Okay.

Look at this. Oh, my God. Can you guess which is which? Wait, I can tell you right now he's talking to the dog and he's getting answers look at the dog being like not with him you know when you're in like you're in a relationship that you know is gonna end but for some reason you still have to go to a family function for the person you're dating and you're like and they're like group photo group photo but nobody else knows the shit you and this

person are doing. So you try to position yourself at a good edit place that you know they're going to need in a couple of months or weeks or hours. That dog is like not with... This is like when the kiss cam goes around two people who didn't come to the game together. Yes.

He just completed a cycle of P20X. I've done that. Okay, ready? Yes. God, sometimes the name picks the person. Let's hear it. Chad D. Wayne Green.

Chad D. Wayne Green. CDG. And I love that he always puts his hands. His hands aren't cuffed right now. He's waiting. Naturally, his resting position is to be hands behind. Do you know what I picture? love that he always puts his hand his hands aren't cuffed right now he's waiting naturally his resting position is to be hands do you know what i picture there was a day in his life long before this day i'm guessing maybe nine years where he said to someone what do you think of

these pants he also threw any town there is like there ain't a bridge in this town. I ain't jumped off. We haven't even talked about the guy on the right who decided to not golf today. You know that. And he is going to tell his grandkids about this four times every holiday. Honey, I'm going to wear

my dry fit shirt today. You're not going to sweat again. And then he does this too at every work network. Barb, should I tell him? Should I tell him about... Oh my God. Susie was scared to death of that son of a bitch.

He just tells like three stories about how he doesn't have the company car he used to have and this guy goes back in the water. He's also, the guy on the right has reached that age where men just start dressing like they work at Best Buy and nobody stops them. Of the three people, of the three

beings pictured right now, which one of them has tics? I thought you were going to say, which one of them is a furry? I thought you were going to say which one of them is a furry. Of the three beings pictured, which one of them will be only living two more years? This is the only dude who could get one of those apps where you see the Simpsons version of you

and it would be the same drawing. No, he's living, literally, he and the dog are so similar because they both live dog years. Every year of his life, he's seven years of a human life. I haven't been to a barber in years, but how do you ask for that cut?

I think you cut that on your own in the bathroom on the way out of prison. That guy on the right is so happy. All right, you want to hear a little, just a quick little? Chad Dwayne Green led troopers and deputies on a high-speed chase, crashed his vehicle, then attempted to swim across the river to escape.

I mean, that's a three-sport athlete. That is the Dumb People Town triathlon. You lead them in a car chase, you get there on foot, and then you try to swim across the river. I'm just a victim of society's expectations. Nobody should ever say this to anyone, but there's some part of me that when I look at Chad DeWayne Green, I do

want to say, put a top on. Even a halter top. Dan, I would say a halter top. Oh, yeah, for sure. Okay, that's headlines. All right, headlines! Oh, Chad DeWayne Green. That is so fun. I love it.

All right, we're bringing in Chad DeWitt Green. That is so fun. I love it. All right. We're bringing in our guest. He was on the second ever episode of Dumb People Town, as it was called, Dumb People Town. He's the father or the parent along with the co-parent with us of one of our favorite bits that we've ever run. The guy who went into a CVS to look for sliced cheese. And I can't even tell you just how many times we say it's over by

the motor oil and the ace bandages. I literally wrote a bunch more. Let's bring him out here right now. He is the host of The Honeydew and one of our favorite people in the comedy business and in the world. Best laugh in comedy. Please welcome our good friend Ryan Sickler!

Ryan! Thank you for having me. Thank you for having me, guys. How you doing, Horn? I'll tell you how I'm doing. Real quick, flip that brim down. You know who he is? Turn to the side. You're that creepy asshole that used to bring

reptiles to middle school kids. That guy up in a van just one weird day. This asshole's got big turtles and iguanas and snakes and shit and he's gone. He's also a baseball scout that refuses to give up

the pencil. You guys, the kids can hold the iguanas. I don't care what it is. The kids can hold the iguanaas. I don't care what it is. The kids can hold the iguana, not going to bite. That guy always says this. Oh, she's never done that before. It's my first time using this bird.

He tells the kindergartners a lot about his divorce right he's also while they're holding the boa constrictor she problem was she wasn't listening to me well hey they don't need to know they don't need to know i have rights god damn it okay all right all right he's also got like one crate that the kid's like, what's in there? Oh, she's mad today. She's mad today. There's one out in the van. There's always one out in the van. Well, it's so good to have you on the show. And by the way, and you can tell us where the cheese is.

For anyone who may need to know in a CBS. Where's the sliced cheese? Where is the sliced cheese? You know, I'll tell you exactly where it is. And what's odd is that your DVK shirt and your shirt, I saw both those shirts at CVS. Between the crutch tips and the allergy medication. I'd say.

I mean, I don't know about you. I got this between the footballs and the tampons. I don't know what you're. I got it between the smart light bulbs and the hot Cheetos. He's got notes. Look up. What else, Jay? It's between the baby food and the spark plugs.

You know right over there. You guys go right there. Right by the sympathy cards. The sympathy cards and the old Easter candy. You know that. It's right over there. Right. By the applesauce and the Frisbees.

All right. I don't know why. It's next to the birthday balloons and the disposable cameras. That's right. By the water guns, by the dog collars, by the styrofoam collars, the pop-off vodka. All right. So, Sickler,

you're here with us. The Cactus Blossoms, who did just a beautiful job. One more time for those guys. So, we got you all on the show, and we'd like to play a little game called What's Your Florida Man? That's right. Okay, here we go. We're going to play Which Florida Man Are You? So the way this works,

anybody who needs a refresher, everybody has a Florida man. You find out what your birthday is and then the year doesn't matter. It's just the date, the month, and then we figure out what happened. What is your Florida man? You share that with them. So we're going to go first, Cactus Blossoms. Because it's the two of you,

your last single, Happy Man, came out June 12th of last year. In honor of that, I wanted to find out what your Florida Man is that lines up with Happy Man. It's perfect. Right between our birthdays. Oh, there we go. When are your birthdays?

I'm not going to tell you. Oh, geez. It's June 12th birthdays? Oh, I'm not going to tell you. Oh, jeez. It's June 12th. June 12th. Yes, exactly. Do the math. All right, ready? Here we go.

Here's your headline for your... Naked Florida man performs strange dance at McDonald's before trying to have relations with the railing. Inside the building? at McDonald's before trying to have relations with the railing. I also hope that that includes him. He just keeps going like, look, if you're not into it, just say it. He was trying to get consent. He just never heard a yes.

I'm going to show you guys what this dude looked like. You can't look any worse than the guy we just saw on the boat. We got some ringers today. Look at this Florida man. Oh my God. I know. He felt like he had to show everyone his McNuggets. I don't like that.

I was going to say or his McRib. I don't think I do. When I see this guy, it just screams dancer. Okay. This makes sense to me. A hundred percent. And he's asking for tips.

You don't got a tip, but I'm going to keep doing it. That's my passion, man. It's my passion. Guys, what are you going to say? Cactus blossoms. We were in Florida. Our van broke down.

That's one of the only times we've toured in Florida. And I think that guy gave us a ride in his tow truck for about three hours. You're like, we're good, man. He's like, no, no, no. I'm going to keep taking you.

We're like, please do not keep taking us. And he's like, I'm going to get some heat before I drop you guys off. Yeah. That's crazy. Yes. I mean, that's what happens if you say Candyman six times. That's what happens if you say Candyman six times. You know that when they take mug shots, they just want to get done with it.

They took this one. They're like, hey, man, you want to do another one? Because really, I don't think you want this. I'm good. And he's like, no, I'm good. John Francis Morgan. There's a lot of times when people come up to this guy and say, hey, man, you know you're bleeding? Yeah. And he goes, yeah.

And? And? John Francis Morgan, stripped naked, did what the arresting officer described as a strange dance. And what does it have to be for it to be a strange dance? When would it ever be a regular dance? And then, strange dance atald's restaurant and was seen trying to have relations with a railing by a witness to the bizarre incident morgan had been banned from this mcdonald's over a similar previous outburst now look we've done stories where people fell in

love with briefcases airplanes lamps he loves this right naked strange dance at a railing at a mcdonald's fool me once right right that's the old saying yes well no but does this solve the uh the popeyes mcdonald's kentucky fried chicken like yeah he's got the controversy like it does for him i mean the clearly it is the golden arches and and thank god he didn't take out a golden shower at the golden do you think if you see him having sex with a rail, you look at your assistant manager and go, I'm so glad we don't have a play place anymore. Oh, my God. Okay.

You ready for the next one? That guy's trying to create his own ball pit. There you go. All right. Are you ready for this? Ryan. Yes. Your birthday is March 8th, correct?

It is. Pikes. Okay. Hereikes season. Okay, here we go. Ryan, by the way, talked to me for an hour on the phone the day of his birthday without telling me or reminding me it was his birthday. I luckily caught it that night and I yelled at him. Okay, here we go. So, Matty, here's your headline for your March 8th Florida man. Florida man broke into home, fell asleep on couch while high on meth.

I know. Who's falling asleep on meth? Who's falling asleep on? We're going to find out. He's like, I got to tell you something. This meth's good, but this couch is something out.

What is this? What is this? What is this? A Jennifer converter? This Murphy bed is what I'm talking about. I just did a whole lot of math. I just need a place to lay my head. I love this, too. This is how you know when somebody has put in their two weeks notice to stop

working at a Florida newspaper. It was another wild day today as a Florida man. Here we go again. Craig McDonald. See Matt. He was charged after he broke into a house and fell asleep

on a couch while high on meth. The homeowner said the man walked into the house, laid down, and refused to leave. Now, I'm going to show you guys Craig McDonald, okay? Because my favorite part of this whole story is look at him. Look at him, guys. Remember how much earlier Chad Dwayne Green was 100% himself? This is not what Craig McDonald should look like. There's Chad Dwayne Green.

Craig McDonald. Look. Craig McDonald. Look at Craig McDonald. It doesn't fit. He looks like a WWE jobber that's about to do his ass kicked by Brutus. It looks like the toughest Amish guy you've ever seen. But like a normal Craig McDonald owns three timeshares,

right? This looks like the porn version of Avatar. Yes. This guy looks like he fought in Iraq in 2011. Ryan. That's what I love. Ryan, I don't know. You can choose which one, but between, what was his name? Chad Dwayne Green and Craig McDonald.

One of these guys definitely looks like they're in the running for the mascot of the honeydew. Yeah, exactly. Look, this guy's face just i mean it just screamed sad look i know yeah everything about him this guy life made him sad chagged sad just because he got caught he can't i don't know if you it's so weird because i did see that story and moments later that guy scuba'd off the back of that boat and used those little titties to float backwards downstream. He got away. He's good for him. He's like an X-Man.

There's a part two to that story. The whole boy over here, C-Mac, he just looked like life has been beating him down since he came out of the... He was probably a... He's probably a vagina. Could you imagine his honeydew Patreon episode with you and Craig Mack?

That's a three-parter. I was going to say, we wouldn't even crack the surface after an hour. He'd be the Patreon version of what you're doing with Joey Diaz. It'd be like, we're going to have to come back on this, Craig Mack. He would be...

His mom probably did so many... He'd probably be like, that was my first trimester. That was just my first trimester. Part of me loves that he's wearing camo and it's a tank top. He doesn't want you to see how sad he is.

He doesn't want you to see his heart. He's trying to hide that heart. He's not worried about that herpy on his lip, but he doesn't want to cover that up. Here's my favorite. In the profile, it looks like he took a nap. That is probably actually from over top of him when he's laying on that guy's comfy couch.

It might be. He's making a wish. All right, that's it, guys. Alright, that's it guys. There you go. Florida Man birthdays. I need that back. I shouldn't have thrown it away. Stick around. Make a sound. There's more Don't People Town.

Let's jump. Shall we jump into our first story? Yeah, let's do it. Here we go. Ready? Shall we jump into our first story? Yeah, let's do it. All right, story number one. Okay, here we go. Ready? Yes. We're good.

Sent in by, I'm going to try this. Here we go. La Asesina. Yes, Dan. She only had to write it out phonetically. At La Asesina MMA. I hope she's here. I do too.

I hold it down out in New York. Okay. Here we go. After transporting a Florida woman to jail, following her arrest on DUI charges at a McDonald's drive-thru. Okay. Now, DUI charges at a McDonald's drive-thru. You must have been acting crazy.

But how much driving can you do? You back it in. You back it around. You go in backwards. You go the wrong way through. You wanted order. You're on that side. I backed it in.

I thought I'd make it faster for me. Oh, my God. Could you imagine that? Oh, my God. After her charges at a McDonald's drive-thru, cops discovered that she had vodka stuffed in her bra. We will get into it. Oh, my God. Vodka stuffed in her bra. Right she had vodka stuffed in her bra. We will get into it. Vodka stuffed in her bra.

Vodka stuffed in her bra. I know a lot of people go... Just loose? Yeah, but a lot of women will go cell phone bra combo, right? But where are you at in life that you're like, where do I put this vodka? Dan, is it real full-size vodka?

Ryan, what is this? Or is it tiny airport like, airport vodka? And that's your Justin Cain. Goes up under the titties, up under them. You lift the titties up, vodka, let the titties lay over it, and he holds them nicely. Tito's. That guy, what's his name?

Chad Dwayne? Chad could hold little bottles or airplane bottles under those titties. Responding to a 911 call about a, quote, drunk female that is driving all over the drive-thru. How is that even possible? All over the drive-thru. Are you weaving in and out of the drive-thru? By the way, you never want to be doing anything all over the drive-thru. No.

All over the drive-thru. Also, if you roll your window down before, like if there's one car in front of you ordering, you can always tell how drunk that person is because they are so loud ordering. They keep yelling at other people in the car who may not be there. What do you want? Yeah, right? How are you doing tonight?

They don't want to have a conversation. Just tell them what you want. That's one of my favorite drunk moves when the person who's really drunk wants to get out in front of us. So you're like, hey. And they're like, how are you doing? And you're like, slow down. We haven't even. We're good right now.

Hey, what's your name? I didn't say anything. Nobody said anything. Nobody said anything. A drunk female. They're like, sir, what would you like for McDonald's? I didn't touch her. Oh.

We're not even over there. No one said that. We're asking for your order. I didn't touch her. What? No one said that. We're asking for your order. Responding to a 911 call about a drunk female quote that is driving all over the drive-thru. I have no idea what that means. What does that mean? Police Monday night found, ready for this, Brandi Stanley. Brandi

Stanley is like the drunk version of Flat Stanley, right? Like you take her wherever and she gets drunk. I want to take a picture of her drunk in front of every state. Every senior frog. Yeah, yeah. Brandy Stanley. They found her.

It has to be B-R-A-N-D-I. Of course it is. Thank you. You're 100% right. And for the dot on the I, it's a little bottle of vodka. Right. Every karaoke bar, she just walks up. She does not wait to be called.

She does not put her name on the list. She goes, you know what I'm singing. You're a fine girl. What a good wife I might be. I had to work that in for Diane. Okay, here we go. 911, the cops get there. She's driving all over the goddamn drive-thru.

Police find Brandi Stanley behind the wheel of a Pontiac SUV. So that's what happened to all the Aztecs, in case anybody was wondering. You know it's an Aztec. I was like, when did Pontiac make SUVs? They made them for three years until people were like, what are you doing?

She's behind the wheel of an Oldsmobile. You're like, what? Didn't Walter White drive a Pontiac SUV? She's probably a big meth fan. Another meth fan. They find her behind the wheel of a Pontiac SUV Idling outside of the McDonald's In Lady Lake about 60 miles from Orlando She has been idling for years

Yeah exactly That's her title of her book That's her thing Alright Life in idle Okay here we go Someone disagreed She's been idling at 0.08 for years guys

she's about to hit the gas tonight you know what i mean he's about to hit the gas oh here's what i love too she's driving all over they call the cops on her and she just stays at the mcdonald's yes stanley who'd been eating in the vehicle that's how much you wanted a big chicken and by the way she's not in park. So it's just kind of moving a little bit while she's eating. While she's eating, it's just kind of moving a little bit for her. I love it, too, because that means that they probably told her. We called the cops.

She's like, whatever. Where do I go eat this double quarter browner? Just go right over there. Listen, it's Good Friday. I need to eat this filet of fish here. Just tell me where I got it from. You know when the cops walked up...

You know when the cops walked up and gave her the old... On the window, she was like, I already got my food. She's like, I'm waiting on this green light, goddamn. And she's facing a tree. I'm not leaving. I'm not leaving.

I paid for this. I paid for this. The McRib is seasonal. She didn't say anything and made this motion. Right. Little sign up there. She's we're not. Yeah, she's Mitch at the end of days. Get a few. She's like she's about six miles from Orlando. They find her eating in the vehicle. They say she smelled of

alcohol, had glassy eyes, and her face was flushed and officer noted. Yeah. Additionally, when Stanley exited her car at the cops request, because you know that's the only way it was happening. Oh, yeah. Come on out. The cop says that she then swayed from side to side like a high school dance. Just a lot of this back and forth. Like a building in the wind.

Yeah, that's her favorite song. That is her favorite. She swears it's building. That's her favorite Elton John song. After refusing to perform field sobriety tests, which is a good call on her part. Great call on her part. She's like, no.

I'm not into contests, and I do not like being judged. Yeah. She's like, I know my right. You're like, your right. You need to also know your left. This is my right. This is my left. I'm also certain of the fact that

we got to this point because she kept asking them to do it first. You do it. And they were like, no, no. Are you going to do it or not, man? No, we don't have to, man. You have to do it. You need to walk this double yellow line right here. Like, wow, I'm dancing. I'm back here dancing. That's not good enough for you? That's right.

Can I do this if I was drunk? She still doesn't understand it, cop. That's not good enough for you? That's right. Could I do this if I was drunk? She still doesn't understand it, cop. She's like, this McDonald's sucks. When do the employees start wearing badges? Give me a different waiter. I want a different waiter. At least twice she said, they never

do this shit at Wendy's. Y'all treat me like the Hamburglar right now. God damn it. By the way, can we just for a moment that McDonald's... What is Bear McCheese? I need a pardon.

She wants a pardon. She wants a pardon. She tried to... She tried like Matt Gates to preemptively get a pardon by Mayor McCheese. I want a blanket pardon. She tried like Matt Gates to preemptively get a pardon. I want a blanket pardon. Hold on. Hold on, Jack.

Pardon the McDonald's. Jack, what are you saying? I said blanket pardon, please. Or just a blanket. Or a neck blanket. Or a Nick blanket. I'm not picky. She goes, blanket, pardon.

And then she's like, whoops, I throw those in the wrong order. Pardon, can I have a blanket? Then she just says, let me ask you, I've been in an argument for three days. Is it racist to hate Grimace? Is it racist? Can we talk about Grimace, though, for a minute?

Yeah, I know. The minute? It is the expression that people make after they've had a McRib. But he does look like a Grimace. What was Wince not available? I just love that McDonald's had a known felon on the payroll.

100% So then they say she refuses to perform field sobriety tests. Stanley was then handcuffed. I don't see a field. We're in a McDonald's. Who's fucked up?

Combine. You guys want me to run a 40? I got my track shoes in the trunk right now. Get Rich Eisen's ass out here. Let's do this. Somebody dig a sand pit. I'm about to hit this triple jump. She's like grabbing the officer's hand

to put the gun in the air to shoot it. Right. You two race. You two race each other. And then for a second, she stops. She's like, now you two kiss each other. I'm like, ma'am, no. I'll give you a bite of my cheeseburger

if you let me Yosemite Sam. You're pissed. How about you both kiss me at the same time? That's triple. I ain't going to tell. I know how it works. I'll put my hand on your chest turn. I know how it works. I'll put my hand on your chest camera. I know how it works.

I saw you turn those cams off when you walked in. If you want a date, just say. So she refused to field sobriety tests. En route to get her into the car, the cop car, en route to jail, Stanley reportedly uttered,

quote, just take me home. Let's forget about this. Not far off. By the way, one of the cops were like, by the way, Jeffrey Epstein said the same thing.

I just need to tell him. They didn't listen to Brandy Stanley. No. That's all, guys. What are we really doing? Right. Let's just try. I live up here a mile on the left.

She just starts quoting the end of Rocky IV. I feel like I've changed a lot about how I feel about you guys. You can change about how you feel about me. In the front, they start chanting Brandi. Brandy. She says, she goes, just take me home. Let's forget about this. I'm so stupid. I should know

better. She's like, I get it. I get it. McDonald's is bad for you. I get it. Don't put liquor in a high-seeking can. I get it. Put my vodka under my titties. Got it. Don't put liquor in a high C container. I get it. Put my vodka under my titties.

Got it. Got it. I don't even think they know about those yet. Upon arriving at county lockup, Stanley continued to yell and scream at cops, resulting in several deputies assisting in removing the defendant from the vehicle. So they pulled into the garage and were like, well, help out here. Because, you know, at that point, she had gone from like please let me go to like you fuck you want to fight hey brandy ain't no bitch she probably spider rubbed out in there as hard as she could and when she did it brandy like michael jordan's wings poster but it says brandy all the way from

from bicep to bicep just long so let me ask you guys the do you guys you you don't strike me as like having a lot of really drunk people at your shows remember back in the day when we perform live shows did you ever get any okay you're shaking your head page any just like really sloppy drunk like because how do you handle that when you're on stage not i don't there's not a ton of super sloppy drunks, but the bartender will be like, man, we sold a lot of drinks tonight. They're just sad, mildly sad drunks.

You're like, don't worry, we attract a real melancholy drunk. These guys are just drinking to forget. You don't like drinking music? All the drunks at our show, I just picture you guys, all the drunks at our shows, they're the type of drunk. They don't fight with their family. They just kind of wander off for the rest of the night.

Where did he go? We got a lot of people at our shows that drove away from their families. They went to get cigarettes and they ended up at our show. All right. It was only after Brandy Stanley was extracted from the cruiser that police located bottles of deep Eddie vodka under her bra. And of course it's deep Eddie. Deep Eddie is every Austin sorority girl's dream come true.

It is vodka for people who love Kool-Aid, and I love Deep Eddie. I drink a lot of Deep Eddie. It's a great Austin vodka. By the way, an Eddie is like when the water is from underneath. It's like underneath, and it could suck you down into it. That's exactly what that alcohol is. Deep Eddie is a gateway vodka. While quick guidelines do not indicate

the size of the individual vodka bottles, physics dictates sounds like a greenie already, that they were 50 millimeter nips. The fact that they call them nips. Hold on, are we talking about her titties or are we talking about the vodka? We got some Deep Eddie in.

Oh my god, if we weren't in a pandemic, I would shoot this straight out of the bottle. We got some deep, Eddie. Oh my God. If we weren't a pandemic, I would shoot this straight out of the bottle. How many times do you think this woman has said to other people, don't touch my nips? Right. All of them. All four of them. Nips are shot size

servings associated with airplane imbibing. Way to go, Ryan. I get credit for some of that. Okay, here we go. I'm going to ask all of our guests. And you can guess in the chat. I will be looking at the chat to see if anybody knows it. How many mini bottles of

vodka did she have stuffed in her brassiere? We'll start with Jack and Paige. How many bottles do you think she had stuffed in there? Now, look. Take into account everything you know about her. She's drunk, driving all over the drive-thru, stuck around to eat, tried to talk her way out of it.

This is a woman who may not go big nor go home. I'm going to say, like, 13. 13 nips. Damn. Paige, what do you think? I was going to say just half a nip. Half a nip. Half a nip. One half nip. One half nips. Paige, what do you think? I was going to say just half a nip. Half a nip. I see 10 in the chat.

I see 25, 8, 7. What do you say, Ryan? I'm just going to go with 8. I feel like... By the way, whatever the fucking number is, kudos to Brandy because what I heard, if I'm correct, is that she fought the police and then when they got her inside they found the vodka that shit stayed she secured the package

well go ahead jay i'm gonna say four she had four four four many bottles of four many bottles of deep eddie vodka i'm gonna say 12 12 12 okay you said 13, right? This is some prices, right? I just prices right myself out of this. It's close to it. Over and under. It doesn't matter. 13, 12. What did you say, Paige?

He said half of one. Half a nip. Half a nip. You said eight. Jason said four. Okay, I've seen some correct guesses in the chat. I'm going to tell everybody just to be fair, 107 was not the answer. Okay, good.

Between the four of you, one of you is only one number off. Does anyone want to change their number? Yeah, you all should. We all should. I'm going to say 11. Okay. 11?

I think it's six. It's right on your side. So you would have to say 11. Okay. 11? I think it's six. It's right on each side. So you would have to say 14. Or double up. I'm going to say, oh, Sickler, what are you going to say? Well, for me, it's either seven or nine, and I'm down with Brandy, so I'm going to go big on nine. Go big or go home.

I'm going to go up to five. Okay. Four to five. Okay. So you're going to go up to two? I guess I'm going to go with one and a half now. One and a half. Okay. Four to five. So you're going to go up to two? I guess I'm going to go with one and a half now. One and a half. I'm not winning. It was two,

but halfway through that ride, after she knew she was getting arrested, she took a little sip. Someone said one of you is a half nip off. Yeah. I was counting you as one. All right. Here we go. The amount of many bottles of vodka, and we we saw a little bit more after this

that were stuffed in her brassiere was seven. That's right. Way to go, Mike McGill in the chat. I love this uneven amount because one of her breasts is bigger than the other. Yeah, it's not an even number.

One bottle was missing from the pack, so it was an eight pack. I guess that's what it is. That one's up my ass. That's not for you. That's for me. Those are to share. She definitely said,

put the bottles up there. Yeah, she said, come and find it. Yeah. Stanley was charged with a pair of misdemeanor DUI counts. I don't know. They got her in the parking lot and the drive-thru, I guess. After a night in misdemeanor DUI counts. I don't know what they got her in the parking lot and the drive-thru, I guess. After a night in jail, she was released from custody. She's scheduled for April 19th plea

negotiation in case anybody wants to go see how that shakes out. We will end story one on this. How old is Brandi Stanley? And we have a very special guest, the AG, because I'm going to let you see her first. And you know that that could throw you way off in one direction or the other.

Sometimes that doesn't help. Sometimes they're younger, sometimes they're older. Let's take a look at... Here's Brandi Stanton. We don't need to shame her. She's had a rough night. She looks like the type of person that got someone else to commit a murder. She looks like the type of person

that got somebody pregnant and left them. She did that. She did that. She did it. All right. So, Jack, how old do you think she is? I'm going to say 27. Oh, that was my number.

You can double it up, Rob. You can double it up. All right, Paige. Paige, what do you number. That's exactly what I was going to say. You can double it up, Rye. You can double it up. Paige, what do you think? We can split the earnings. 34. 34 years old. Okay, Rye, what do you think? Rye, you can stick with it if you want. See, and I'm not saying this to be rude or anything. She's a bigger girl, and

sometimes that hides your age. And I was going to say 27, but now that I look at her, I mean, the bags are screaming 32. I was going to say 27, but now that I look at her, I mean, the bags are screaming 32. I'm going to go 32. Wow. What do you say? So she's been a nanny for eight years.

So I'm going to say she's 40. Hey, Judd Apatow, this is 40. I think she's 36. Okay. 36 years old. All right. Putting some miles on her. I'm going to tell you guys.

One of you is only one year old. Here we go again. We all got to adjust. What's your vibe on Brandy Stanley? What do you think, Jack? 28. 28. 28. 28.

Page? 33. 33. Jesus' age. Rye? I'm going to drop it down one and go 31. Okay. 39.

Okay. I'm going to say 35. All right. We got 28. Yeah. We will get out of story one on this. We'll get to hear some more music. We'll come back, do all the other fun stuff.

You know we've got a Greenlee. Oh, boy. Here we go. on this. We'll get to hear some more music. We'll come back, do all the other fun stuff. You know we've got a green light. But I will first tell you, Brandy Stanley, seven mini bottles in the boobs is 31 years old. Oh!

There we go. That story number one down. I love it, you guys. Way to go. That's story number one down. I love it, you guys. Way to go. All right. Well, let's let the Cactus Blossoms play another original song. Guys, let's mute your mics right now, or all of your sound, and then when they're done with the song, you can get back up and do it.

On mute and give them all your love. All right, boys, take it away. All right, we're going to do the best we can. All right. all your love. Alright boys, take it away. We're going to do the best we can. Alright. Alright. They know what's under their feet or hear the thunder The rich are getting way too high To even try to scrape the sky Why, oh, I came to and died I'm gonna bring you down

I'm gonna bring you downtown I'm gonna bring you down I'm gonna bring you downtown Try getting by on minimum wage, I dare you American slaves in the modern age, it should scare you Trouble's knocking on the door You're used to it if you're poor Well, tables have been turned before

I'm gonna bring you down I'm gonna bring you downtown I'm gonna bring you downtown. I'm gonna bring you down. I'm gonna bring you downtown. I need to look into your eyes just to feel you No need to dress up to the nines, I want the real you No meal Dress up to the nines I want the real you Guess you never had to do

Anything you don't want to Well it must be nice To live like you I'm gonna bring you down. I'm gonna bring you downtown. I'm gonna bring you down. I'm gonna bring you downtown. I'm gonna bring you downtown. I'm gonna bring you downtown.

I'm gonna bring you downtown. I'm gonna bring you downtown. Yes! Oh, that's good. Oh, you guys have really this stuff is it's just so great because you've maintained the root of who you are and then it's just evolved in such beautiful stuff where can they uh jack and page where can they pick up your stuff albums all that stuff you know i know when the world you world unfucks itself and you'll be playing live again,

I want people to just tell them how they can find out stuff about you. I guess our website, thecactusblossoms.com. Nice. It's so good, man. You can find us around all those streaming services and the band camp. Yeah, for sure. Band camp is one of the best places. I love your guys' music.

To me, the best way I I love your guys' music. To me, the best way I tell people is I go, it's Windows Down music. It's Windows Down music. Windows Down. Windows Down. I mean, I don't know if you guys are ever going to release, if you've released this album, the live at the Turf Club. Yeah, it's a rarity.

We met you guys a long time ago. I know, man. We sure did. Is that album available through your site? We ran out of copies and never repressed it. We've thought about doing it.

Please do. I also think your stuff would play really well on vinyl. As a record dude myself. Get some vinyl pressings over your stuff. That's just the hat talking. That is. Hat up. That's just the hat talking. That is. Hat up. Hat up. It's vinyl. Hat up. It's vinyl.

Hat down. You guys got some tapes? You guys got some atriums? No. Hat down is just a jug. It looks like you have a pretty nice hi-fi at home. I do have a nice real-to-real. Hi-fi but no Wi-Fi. The hat's down. Not such a nice hi-fi. The hat's down, dial up.

The hat's down is, have you seen my cassette? So, CactusBosses.com, check out all their stuff, you guys. They're just wonderful. And friends for so long through the years, through our buddy Jim Weber, got to mention him. He loves you guys. And thank him for bringing you guys to us. And I'm glad.

Look, we were going to go to Minneapolis. You mentioned this to you before the show. You're doing soundcheck. These guys are going to play live for us there. We will get back there again in a future time. And you guys will play live with us. And I just love it. I love it, man. See people again.

The live show. This has been pretty great in between, but I can't wait to. Yeah, totally. So thank you guys so much. And Rye Sickler, let's talk about it. The Honeydew Podcast is one of our favorite things that we've ever done. Just getting you laughing. It's literally the worst moments in your life as told to a person who just can't wait to hear it.

Yeah, I can't wait to laugh at it. Yeah. And turn it into something beautiful. You really do with that show. It's incredible. I appreciate you guys. It's been, you know, it's just one of those things I started out doing is they say, do what you know. And it's turned into this really wonderful thing and such a great community. And yeah, I'm really fortunate i love doing it um and i love it's giving me a new appreciation for comedians again because there's there's no one

like a comic who can really spin the ugliness and drop a bomb right exactly when you fucking need it and want it and um you know we're a fucked up lot and i love that that we're able to find laughter and humor in those horrible moments so i mean it's that's it like usually something happens i'm like please either let it be really good so i can enjoy it or really bad so i've got a story yeah yeah yeah worst case scenario it's forgettable right like you want it great or shitty because as a comic you're like when it's terrible you're going through it you're mad but you step outside of it and you're like that was pretty damn funny that that happened to me and right on a like a serious note as well like i think for a lot of people it's made people feel less alone or hear that like you can come through

stuff or maybe the stuff i've been through i can make light of a little bit, and it doesn't have to weigh me down so much. I mean, you know me, dude. You and I go so deep. But that first episode in your kitchen, you and me and that dude with four legs, Josh Adam Myers. Yeah. It's just great to see what it's become, dude. And you know I'm a fan. Yeah, I'm psyched for you.

Thank you, man. I'm very lucky i you know i've had college professors now say it's mandatory listening in their classes and shit like that i i've had so many people say i started therapy because you i didn't kill myself and i'm like man this shit all right so we got to keep doing it you have to and it's hilarious it's fun to watch it is i i so people can watch the episodes on youtube, which is one thing that I do. And I watch on that. So let people know where they can check that out.

Well, I'm Ryan Sickler on all social media. My website's ryan Sickler.com. The honeydew podcast.com is the website for the show. But if you just go to my YouTube, it's audio. We drop on Mondays video. We drop on Tuesdays.

You can watch full episodes there every Tuesday. Um, and, uh, and the Patreon, I do the honey do with y'all where I'm talking to everybody out there and the stories I'm hearing from that community are just incredible. It's in sane. It's insane. You know, and it's such a great show and I do it for five bucks a month. That's it. There's no crazy levels or anything. And we're now beginning in May. We're going to put the honeydew on Patreon a day early,

ad free at no extra charge. Awesome. Through 2021. I can't make promises in the deuce deuce, but for 2021, I'll keep it as is. That's really cool. You do care about your fans and I love your shirt that you're wearing.

And I just want to remind people we made Jeffff tice made an unbelievable honey dumb poster yeah see it up this is a jeff tice this is a jeff tice i know he's this is a jeff tice this is a jeff tice he's the best he's made great posts for us and those are those are available that's a jeff tice yeah so good uh they should be in the chat the link should be in the chat and rye tell so we're gonna sign them right people have the option to get it they you know they come signed right so uh it's i think it's 30 bucks they're signed proceeds go to a charity of ryan's ryan's gonna sign them we're gonna sign them uh right tell everybody what the charity is so the charity is called called Outreach to the Arts. It's a it's a at risk.

I work with at risk youth kids and the Santa Monica Police Department right now. My friend Lana, who owns the studio, the store, Santa Monica Music Center, started this a while ago and she had incorporated DJ classes, music lessons, all these things through scholarships that come from funding money like this. We'll take a kid who is at risk. And the problem is, you know, we're trying to serve these kids after they get in trouble and we're trying to stop them from going that bad route. We're trying to give them a real career, a real profession. So I said, Hey, can we teach them podcasting? You know, this is not going anywhere. Look, look at what we're doing.

It's only elevating and elevating. So maybe you don't want to be behind the mic and on camera, but you can come in here with my producer, Ash, and learn how to live switch, editing, graphics, cameras, lights, all of it, production in general. So we're working with those kids, and they're creating a podcast with the Santa Monica police department where they put them on the spot, talk to them about everything that's going on. So that's where the proceeds will go to outreach. You know, right. You invited me down there one day and I started banging around ideas with

kids for titles of stuff or what they would need to launch a podcast. And it's just a whole bunch of young people who are really excited to like learn about this and what we do. And I'm so happy you guys settled on the Joe Rogan experience. It's just a whole bunch of young people who are really excited to learn about this and what we do. I'm so happy you guys settled on the Joe Rogan experience. It's the Ro-Joe-gan experience. The Ro-Joe-gan experience. I think that's a great idea. I was like, you are going to get a cease and desist.

But before that happens, it will be fun. You're probably going to get arrested in two years anyway. No, they're good kids. I tell everybody all the time, like, no, no, they're at-risk youth. They're good kids. Hydra years anyway no they're good kids i always i tell everybody all the time like no no they're at risk youth they're good kids hydro wallets they are good no they really are and they've taken to it and i promise you it's not it's not a waste of money these kids are they're they're me when i was that age 16 or 17 i wish i had something like this and a real skill to not waste my money or time in college and boom i'm making 500 a day when i'm 19 20 years old and come on yeah that's great love it it's awesome so uh thank you for having me and thank all of you out there for

yeah so hit that link we'll all sign them i'll run them over to ryan's ryan i'll sign them we'll get them out i want to announce the next. Oh, now this is fun. We're a comedy club. I mean, we had to get Ryan for this, and that's what it is. Obviously. I heard the way he said all. Oh, that one's going to be.

I heard it. This one is fine. In fact, we already talked to the Cactus Blossoms. They know to come back for the next one. This is the warm up. But on Saturday, May 22nd, same time, same bad channel, we've got Chris Thiele is the musical guest from the band Nickel Creek. Y'all say Nickelback?

Nickel Creek. Oh, my God. I wish, dude. I wish because every time I would – Can you imagine we had Nickelback and I could throw up Brandy Stanley and I'd be like, guys, look at this photograph. Every time I do, it makes me laugh. I mean, that works.

It completely works. It's Nickelback. Never knew how good they were. And the guests will be the Doughboys. That's right. The Doughboys podcast. Oh, it's going to be a Doughpeople town. Doughpeople town. Their podcast is incredible and we're going to have them on, so that's going oh it's gonna be a dope people town dope people town dope people town the broadcast is

incredible and we're gonna have them on so that's gonna be great so the dough boys and chris theely that's and the link will be up and open yeah ready to go right now or by the end

of the show so grab your tickets for that uh but let's get into because right now we do i mean that's right this is a treat for you guys we'll have to explain it to the cactus blossoms and i

think to sickler too i don't think he's done one yet. We've got a Greenlee. We've got a Greenlee! I've got a refresher. I have a refresher for everybody who's like, how did I end up here? Why do I have my kids this weekend and why did they like this podcast?

Here's what it is. As a refresher, I'm going to read an article will greenlee the scholars have theories they will tell you those in one say he tends to overwrite why do you think that is i think it is because he is told that he has to write something that's 1500 words and when he finishes the story it's 8 13 right like so he's got to explain things like what pants are, how to wear an anchor. He wrote once two verses of the thong song. Not one, two. Two verses.

He will explain to you what a tree is. And my theory is that he thinks everyone's so dumb that he's writing it for that he needs to explain it. And he's like, I'm writing these stories. These things are happening. I have to explain what this stuff is because people don't even know that. Right. So in his articles are random over explanations of things everyone already knows.

Yep. The game is for you to guess who wrote that completely useless non sequitur. When I reveal the correct answer, so you'll all guess, did Daniel Van Kirk write that? Because Dan has figured out a way to ape the, Dan has aped the writing style so good

that I will tell you that Randy and I don't know. We played this game more than anyone else. I have no idea. And I want to make a shirt that says, I've never not known more. It's perfect. Or you'll find out if Greenlee wrote it. Now, if Greenlee wrote it,

you'll see this picture right here. That's Will Greenlee. I know. He looks like the estranged uncle from The Growing Pains. He looks like Thomas Dolby's brother who was actually blinded by something. It looks like he'll tell you, I know what your problem is.

Okay, here we go. You should put frames in those glasses. He's like, I'll never be framed. You will see a picture of me, and that never be framed. Right. Okay. You will see a picture of me. And that's what this looks like. He's by the river that that guy jumped in to try and get away. That's him back there floating down with his titties.

Someone's like, show me your hands. Let me see what you've got. I've said this. This picture is of if a Labrador was a person and he was being a good boy. That's right. picture is of if a Labrador was a person and he was being a good boy. This actually looks like a blind guy who thinks he's playing piano. No, you're hitting him. You're hitting him.

You sound good, man. You don't hear that? You might be deaf too. You might be deaf too is what you say to someone and you expect them to hear that. You might be deaf, man. You might be deaf. Now listen to me when I say this to you.

You might be deaf too. I look like a recent blind person who doesn't know how braille works. Looks like a GED graduation photo. who doesn't know how braille works. Looks like a GED graduation photo. You did it! Let's get one of the whole class. Let's get one of the whole class.

Someone has to sit next to Dan. Now, if you can sit there with your hands that way for 15 more minutes, we'll let you join the rest of the class. Dan, go over there and check to see if there's any splinters at the picnic table. Oh my god, Dan. Jack, what were you going to say? Or Paige? I'm sorry. Paige, what were you going to say?

It's just either hand model 8x10 or maybe trying to guess if this is a table or... What is this? Someone got him a picnic table as a gift. What is this? Someone got him a picnic table as a gift. What is it? Don't open them yet.

Don't open them yet. I look like I know none of the rules to Marco Polo. I was going to say... That's so funny you said that. I was going to say you look like you're playing Marco Polo out of the pool. Out of the water. They're like, hey, back here, goddamn is behind you. They're like back here. God damn reclaim. Okay.

Oh, I look like I just said, is this your card? Okay, here we go. All right. Sent in by Ryan Patrick at Ryan Patrick loved him on Terminator to Ryan Patrick 75 at Ryan Patrick 75. Okay, here we go. All right, here we go. Before

the end of this greenly, I will do this shot of deep Eddie vodka. Oh, maybe I'll do it if the scars both get one of these right at the same time, but that's forcing you guys to team up. Okay, keep drinking a flap reportedly involving several ladies

at Sensations Cabaret and adult entertainment facility in Stewart, landed one woman behind bars and arrest affidavit states. Sensations is such like we don't hit just your visual senses. We're going to hit everything.

Except for you can't touch. That's the one sensation you don't get to use. We're five sensations here. We're four. We're four. We're four. Sensations sounds like

a Temptations cover band that my mom would tell us to go see. Four sensations. He just saw the four sensations. My lady, my lady, my lady. Talking about my lady, my lady, my lady, talking about my

lady, my lady. Oh my God, the four sensations. And you hope that there's a person who's like, no, but taste is still included in the four. Oh, you're going to taste it even if you don't want to, but it's in the air. You're going to...

When I went hiking down the Grand Canyon, we hiked out a little bit, my wife and I, and it was the summertime. This is when I was driving out here in 2002 or something. There was so much the taste of mule shit in the air. It just got in your mouth and you

could not get rid of it. You're eating that smell. We taste it for the next three days. You taste sensation for the next three days. You taste sensation for the next three days. You taste the smell of vanilla, but it doesn't taste like vanilla. It tastes like vanilla and an old towel. Okay. You know.

Okay. They landed one woman behind bars and arrest affidavit states. Sensations Cabaret has been described as a gentleman's club and establishment popular with men that features partially or fully nude women dancing gyrating and or thrusting in suggestive or sensual manners who wanted you to know

right? Have you ever played the green the game before today? I don't think you have. Okay, who wanted you to know what a dick supposed to get hard? I'm yes, yes, you're going to win your dick supposed to get hard? Yes. Yes. You're in it to win it. That's one of them sensations. I'm all five over here, you know?

So who wanted you to know what a strip club was? Was that Dan or Greenlee? Let's start with the Cactus Blossoms. Jack, what do you think? I'm going to say Dan. All right, Dan all right dan okay i'm gonna go there too yeah okay rye what do you think right uh for sport i'm gonna go with greenly okay jay what do you think i can honestly tell you that i have zero inkling as to whether who said that like i don't i've not i've never been coin toss okay coin toss i'm gonna go with greenlee i'm gonna go with greenlee too because he's describing

sensations there's like a little bit of a reason but i could be wrong okay he also called it a gentleman's club and not a lot of guys call he's trying to downplay it because his wife probably is really good at imitating bad writing. Okay. The person who wanted you to know that a strip club is an establishment popular with men that features partially or fully nude women dancing, gyrating, and or thrusting in a suggestive or sensual manner. The person who wrote that is Will Greenlee. Yes! Back it back. I saw Kevin Harrington

pouring it during that song. I said, knock it back, Brandy. Y'all, I drank Malort. Okay. Here we go. I'm like muscling. I'm good. I'm good. That actually is pretty good vodka. Here we go. I'm like muscling. I'm good. I'm good. Are you sure you're good, Dan?

I'm good. I'm good. That actually is pretty good vodka. Okay. The 33-year-old woman who they never name, but we're just going to call Cheyenne. And by the way, that's not her stage name. No, no, no, no. That's her real name. No.

Her stage name is Chey. Her middle name is Anne. Yeah. Where is Josh Adam Mars? We got all right. We got we got we got Cheyenne coming up that may say so,

but we got Daisy coming on after Cheyenne or do it. Okay, Cheyenne listed as self-employed was arrested because they were like, you got to put down

something. I don't work for nobody so you're unemployed yeah i mean self-employed 33 year old woman aka in our hearts cheyenne listed as self-employed was arrested february 22nd by stewart police on a battery charge after an altercation at the club on southwest us one just north of the Roosevelt Bridge. Okay, it goes on from here. The 33-year-old woman that we're calling Cheyenne, a Fort Lauderdale resident,

told police that about four female co-workers were upset with her. She said they were perturbed because she was making more money than they were. Patrons often tip the dancers with monetary gratuities. Who wanted you to know that strippers make money on tips? Who wanted you to know that? Jack, what do you think? I don't know Dan's writing style yet. Yeah.

Dan again? Alright, Paige, what do you think? I'll go the other direction Greenlee, okay Alright, Rye, what do you think? I'm going to stick with my guy, Greenlee I mean, I think this is A Lil Jon lyric If I could be wrong

Patrons often tip their dancers With monetary gratuities. You know. I'm going to say that is Greenlee. Okay. I think it's Greenlee too because it's just so it's so great. There's no rhyme or reason. By the way, yeah, to me

to offer an explanation is like the dumbest thing in the world. The person. That's like me going the lottery numbers today are 12, 11, and 9 because there is no because. There is no because. The person who

wanted you to know that people tip strippers and that's how they make money, the person who wrote that was Will Greenlee. Yeah! It's all silver! Are we driving a wedge between the cactus blossoms? We might be!

Hang on a second. Solo project. Solo project. Oh, my God. Paige, tell us about your new solo project. Strumming along. Strumming along with Will Greenlee. Although, after Jack said earlier we're going to split the winnings,

I did start thinking we should. Everybody has to put into a pot before the Greenlee game starts. You wager what you think you'll win. Put a little skin in the game. Moving on. The woman reportedly grew so upset and threw... I'm sorry. I misheard that.

The woman reportedly grew upset and threw... One shot. He is brandy wasted. I wish. grew upset and threw a bucket. A bucket is a container typically made of metal or plastic with a handle used to hold or carry liquids or other material. No information was

given as to why a bucket was at the club. Who wrote that? I know why a bucket was at the club. What are that? I know why a bucket was at the club. What are people going to throw up in it? Am I right? Exactly. All right. Jack, Paige, Jack, what do you think?

Who wrote that? Who wants you to know what a bucket is? I'm going to go Dan all the way. Dan all the way. I love it. What do you think, Paige? Dan. Dan.

All right. Rye, what do you think? Yeah, I'm going DVK on that. I'm going to stick with Greenlee. Okay. I hope you're right. I think it's Greenlee. Now, Dan has done ones that have been all Dan and all Greenlee some episodes.

I'm going to say Greenlee. Okay. You guys are all Dan. We're Greenlee. Okay. I do have to point out how much I love everybody who shows up for these Nowhere Comedy, Dumb People Town shows that Ron the graph. I assume his partner or wife.

They have. They've made signs that they hold up to show whether or not they're going to an agreement. They are currently split. They're split. Okay. What do you not survive this podcast? Wait a minute.

What are you guys? The cactus blossoms. The person who wants you to know what a bucket is. The one who wrote that is me. This is so great. This just shows you how much we don't know. And we play this game more than anyone. We should know.

Quote, you know, I'm getting arrested for showing my nether regions on stage. Greenlee changed that. I'll tell you. The woman is quoted as saying, Tryon. Sensations Cabaret is not to be confused with Cabaret, the 1972 film set in Berlin before World War II starring Liza Minnelli or the 1966 Broadway musical of the same name.

Who wanted you to know that this strip club in Florida is not Eliza Minnelli movie? Jack, Paige, what do you think? Who wanted you to know that? Was that Dan or Greenlee? I'm getting a feel for it. I think it's Dan. Okay. Paige? Greenlee now.

Greenlee now. All right. They're split. The blossoms are split. Ryan, what do you think? I'mlee now. All right, they're split. The Blossoms are split. Ryan, what do you think? I'm sticking with DVK on this one. Okay. That's Greenlee. I think it's Greenlee too. It's just too dumb and it's too much of a reach.

The person who wanted you to know that Sensations Cabaret, where women fight each other over what we just learned are tips, is not to be confused with Cabaret, where women fight each other over what we just learned our tips, is not to be confused with Cabaret, the 1972 film set in Berlin, Germany, before World War II, starring Liza Minnelli, or the 1966 Broadway musical of the same name. The person who wrote that is Will Greenling. Oh! That was in a newspaper article.

Do you understand? This is a local paper? Yes. This is a real paper called the TC Palm, Treasure Coast. Yeah, the Treasure Coast Palm. That's fucking insane. Yes, you can find it online. You can follow Will Greenlee on Twitter right now.

Oh, God. This is a much above a USA Today article. The weekend edition. Right. And I will tell you guys, anybody who's never heard us say it before or our wonderful guests, no one, well, I know, but for the most part, no one knows why he does this. Nope. Like why he writes it, why he thinks people need to know these things. We can speculate.

Yes. All right. Meanwhile. Meanwhile. speculate. Yes. All right. Meanwhile, meanwhile, meanwhile, like it's a goddamn Wes Anderson movie. Meanwhile, back at the cabin. Meanwhile, a

witness told police that Cheyenne yelled at and threatened a woman identified as the victim. The club's DJ or disc jockey, as they were commonly referred to when music was primarily played on records, said he heard the altercation and broke things up. Who wanted you to know

what a DJ was or what DJ stood for? Okay, what do you think? Yeah. What do you think, guys? Yeah. What do you think, guys? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, go ahead, Jack.

I'm going Greenlee. Okay. Oh, we got him off his mark. I'm switching to Dan on this one. Switching to Dan. Okay. I know, Ryan. What is it?

Who is it? I'm back to Greenlee on this one. I think it's Dan. I think this is Dan, too. I'm not trying to agree with Randy and I hate when I do that. When there's not a shot on the line. When there's shots off the line.

Here we go. Shots off the line is like putting a baby on the buffalo. Shots off the line just opened for Travis Trent. Dude, shots off the line, it might be my third favorite ska band. Okay, Shots Off The Line might be my third favorite ska band. Okay, here we go.

The guy who was dancing from the Mighty Mighty Boss songs. He's the lead singer of Shots Off The Line. Never had shots off the line. That was pretty good. Okay, here we go. The club's DJ or disc jockey, as they were commonly referred to in music, was primarily played on records. The person who wanted you to know that it is our last one of the night is me.

Yes. I knew it. Just for fun, I will tell you guys, in these articles, they always have a link to some other article that Greenlee's written. We have two of them. We will end it on this just because they're fun and maybe someday they'll end up on this show. Here's the first one and they

always say more and you're supposed to click on it, right? They just give you the headline TC Palm at its finest more man jailed in alleged flamethrower attack in St. Lucie County. Yeah, you are either way too pissed or way like you don't care enough.

Here's the thing. He wasn't even carrying the most dangerous weapon that night. I know. Yeah. Speaking of Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. All right. Here's the other one. Ready?

Hopefully, we'll find out more. This is the last thing. Man destroys toilet and bathroom brouhaha. Imagine he's fighting with himself or at least the demons inside of him. What do you hate that about? I think they just destroyed it that way. And there you go. That's a great way to end it.

Alright, so we're going to let Four more dumb people town. All right, so we're going to let the Cactus Blossoms play their final song, and then we will come by and say goodnight. But guys, so excited. Take it away. Mute yourselves. Mute yourselves, and then we'll come back on and give them a rousing applause. Cactus Blossoms, can't wait to hear you. Take it away, boys.

Thanks for having us, you guys. Thank you. We're going to do an old Jimmy Rogers rogers song see how that goes it's been a while i think uh randy wanted to hear this one do i have to mute it it starts with a funny sound so don't don't get scared off I had a dream last night I thought my good gal had gone When I woke up this morning She really had done me wrong I know it's not fair But my good gal has done caught it.

My gal's been trifling round just about a week I know. Several of my friends just told me so and so She's found a new man and now I can understand I'm going away, leaving today, gonna bring my baby back. If that eight-wheel driver don't jump the railroad track, I'll take it from that man, gonna bring her home if I can. Bring her home, Jack. Woo! It's true my baby's gone But I know it won't be long We'll both be on that train My baby's coming home again She's been trifling round And now she's thrown him down

I'm going away, leaving today Gonna bring my baby back And if that eight-wheel driver's Gone down the railroad track I'll take her from that man Gonna bring her home if I can I'll take her from that man Gonna bring her home if I can Well, I'll take it from that man And I'm gonna bring it home again I'll take all of that you got

Cactus Blossoms everyone That song is called Traveling Blues right? Yeah and you guys Just everyone check out their stuff Cactusblossoms.com Pick up their stuff Support them Their albums will make you happy

They're doing such beautiful creative work Just oozing talent We're so happy you guys could do this Thank you guys so much. Ryan Sickler, the honeydew. Everyone get on that. RyanSickler.com. You can find all the stuff he's got going on. It's amazing.

22nd of May, Chris Thiele from Nickel Creek. Not Nickelback. And the Doughboys. It's going to be amazing. Get your tickets now for that. That's going to be fantastic. That'll be so good. And the poster's available.

I think it's available at danielvancurk.com. Yeah, Ryan's going to sign that. We're going to sign that. And as you heard Ryan say, go to a great cause that he's affiliated with and he lets me help out with it too.

I love everyone that is here. We're seeing all your faces. We saw you throughout, saw you bopping to the music and laughing to this show. Thank you so much. We love you guys so much. Thanks for letting us do this.

Thank you Nowhere Comedy Club, Ben Glebe, and everybody. And oh shit, we got to get back to work. Dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum. Stick around. Make a sound. Calm your downies. Dumb People Town. Starbanes Audio.

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