Dumb People Town - DPT Mini - Andrew Youngblood - Moellendick In Her Sally Port

Episode Date: July 19, 2019

A Florida cop has been disciplined for allowing a couple under arrest to smoke, kiss, cuddle, and otherwise engage in sexual activity while they were in the rear of a police cruiser!

Skypains, out of here. Couldn't make this up So listen to our podcast jam With co-host Armand Dan And don't, don't be a jerk Cause when the music hits the funny hits We are gonna take you down Stick around, make a sound All you're down is Dumb People Town Hey townies, welcome to a Friday episode of

Dumb People Town Population Youngblood. Andrew Youngblood, welcome to the show. Hey, thanks for having me. Dude, so nice to have you. Well, it's nice that you're in town and we get a chance to have you in town to do this because we've hung with you in Texas a bunch. A bunch, yeah.

You are, can I say, the founder, creator of the secret group? One of them. I'm one of them. Yeah, there's a bunch of us there's a bunch of you guys who have really in my opinion planted the flag for great comedy in the city of houston houston by the way i remember back in the day the laugh stop wasn't that what it was that's where um hicks did a lot of work and i can't stop hearing about it that's all that's all i can't laugh stop hearing about it uh no but there is a basis for

really good comedy for sure and so rich history in houston and we did uh the come and come and take it festival yeah we did that you also did a standalone one time yeah we did so far and and stephanie whittles place we did yeah you know what i think it was the flood before we were open it was right before Because we were supposed To be open And then you know How that stuff works

Well we'd love to come back Because we love it so much It's a great space Of course We'll figure out a time That festival was really fun too It is I loved how enclosed it is

And we did an episode Of our A chapter of our audio book On audible.com Called Sclars and Stripes About Houston Oh yeah We went to Numbers

We went to Numbers Numbers Went to But you also took us To that barbecue. Oh, yeah. We went to Numbers. We went to Numbers. Numbers. But you also took us to that barbecue place. Killian's. Drew's. We went to Drew's barbecue. It's like a house. Yeah.

Drew's is amazing. Everyone wants to go to Killian's. That's the place. We went there, but Drew's is pretty amazing. Drew's is like one guy named Drew. At his house. And he just opens and closes when he runs out of meat. That's right.

That's it. And for anybody who's followed along with all my tour and everything that I'm doing, Andrew and I are on the road together doing the Together Tour. Because we're together on the Together Tour. We are. We are. So many people have seen just how great of a comic you are and how much you mean to me and doing our shows together.

It's the best. And obviously, I love Houston. I'm going to be doing a residency there, I think, in August. August, right? Yeah. We'll do like 10 days nothing but new every single night is going to be new material dude that's awesome and uh yeah if you're in houston you need to go to the secret group and you need to make sure you're seeing andrew youngblood support him support what they're doing there because honestly it's it's good comedy in a city that it's the best that needs and and we'll come and support it.

I feel like this is happening. You tell me. I mean, Austin is so expensive, and Austin has always been that sort of oasis in Texas. But now so many people are moving there. It used to be that if you were a great comic in Houston, you were like, I got to move to Austin and then do my stuff there. But I feel like now the conditions are maybe such that people are like, maybe I should stay here and make my scene better. It's different now. Like when I first,

you know, I've been doing comedy about five years now. And when I first started, there was like three mics a week, like total. And now there's like three mics a night, three to five shows a night. Like it's just all over.

People say to me all the time, you go to Houston a lot. I'm like, yeah, you should too. It's great. I love it. Yeah.

Well, we love it. And I love you guys. We'll be back. All right. Secret group, follow them, check them out. Here's the best. People say to me all the time, you go to Houston a lot. I'm like, yeah, you should too. It's great. I love it. And I love you guys. We'll be back. All right, Secret Group, follow them, check them out. Here's the deal, Andrew. We believe that the world is getting dumber. Probably not in Houston. I mean, I'm sure that

it's just a lot of smart people. It's full of smart people in Houston. Nothing dumb happens. Nothing dumb happens there. What's your name, Zod? It's a guy who works at Secret Group. That's a deep Houston cut. You'll have some.

Well, we believe it's getting dumber, and we get stories sent to us of that that basically proves our theory. So Dan's got a great one. You ready for this? Yes. Okay, here we go. Sent in by Buckley Wilkinson at Soup Theorist. If Buckley Wilkinson didn't- Or Soup the Orist.

If Buckley Wilkinson didn't go to private school, that is a missed opportunity. Buckley Wilkinson sounds like a private school. Yeah, but his dad and mom got him in. More so even his mom. Felicity Huffman's mom got him in. His email was Soup Theorist? No, just handle at Soup Theorist. Buckley Wilkinson.

Okay, fine. I have a theory about that. I know. I want to meet Buckley. What's this soup like? I got some theories. Let me theorize on this. All right, ready? I have a theory about that. I know. I want to meet Buckley. What's this soup like? Let me theorize on this. I have some thoughts. A Florida cop has been disciplined

for allowing a couple under arrest to smoke, kiss, cuddle, and engage in sexual activity while they were in the rear of his police cruiser. What's wrong with that? That's nice. What did they do?

That's the thing. You're not booked yet. You're not booked yet. What if you said to him, what is your last meal? And he turned and said, her. No. Maybe they're not going to see each other for a while. They know. You guys are gone for 10 years. It's ended now. A cop

can believe in love. He's being human. He's being a human why should he be disciplined what town are you guys in damn what did they do wrong i need to know what that is that is gonna make the difference in this story yeah in july officer doug mcneil of the fort pierce police department doug what are you doing ppd i know what i'm doing doug doug arrested you ready this is an all i don't know what i'm saying i shouldn. Doug. Arrested. You ready? This is an all. I don't know what I'm going to say. I shouldn't oversell it. This is quintessential dumb people talk.

Doug McNeil arrested Zachary Molendick. No. M-O-E-L-L-E-N. Mo Ellen Dick. Molendick. Molendick. Molendick. Molendick sounds like a pornographic law firm. Or like what happens to you if you have sex too much. Come to the law firm with Molendick Molendick Molendick Molendick sounds like A porn

Like a pornographic law firm Or like what happens to you If you have sex too much Come to the law firm With Molendick I got Molendick I got Molendick I gotta let it go

For like a day I can't touch it My dick is so Molend Zachary Molendick And Christy My dick is Molenshut He arrested Zachary Molendick And Christy Lee

Which means Christy Lee is That is a porn name Thank you For sure Christy Lee This is a porn couple Imagine that hyphen and Christy Lee, which means... Christy Lee is... That is a porn name. Thank you. For sure. Christy Lee. This is a porn couple. Imagine that hyphenation, Christy Dick Lee.

I'm pretty sure the cop was just a fan of their work. It was like, let me see it live. Come on. Zachary Mullendick and Christa Lee, for allegedly... It's not Christy Lee. It's Christa Lee. By the way, if it was...

Christa Leah. Christa Leah. Christa Leah. Okay. What were you going to say? If her name is Crystal... If she changed her name and married this guy and took his name... Right.

And became Crystal Molen Dick, that is less sexual than Crystalia. You're right. You're saying. You're right. They were arrested for allegedly stealing jewelry and a baby toy from a Walmart. Yeah. Well, let them have it. I know.

Come on. They're trying to make a baby. Mullendick was a charge with trespass. He can't have a baby. He's got Mullendick. He was charged with trespass since Walmart security had previously ordered him to stay away from the store. You get out of here, Mullendick.

Repeat offender. And you know his picture's on the wall. You take your Mullendick out of here, Molen Dick. Repeat offender. And you know his pictures on the wall. You take your Molen Dick pick. It's a Molen Dick pick. God damn it, Dan. That's Daniel. There you go. I'll take it. Nick Neal initially handcuffed Lee behind her back, but later

moved the cuffs, quote, from the rear to the front to allow her to smoke a cigarette while standing outside the patrol car. That's just nice. This cop is already too- They're charming, maybe. He is too-

Oh, you're putting it on them. It's not his lack. It's their excess. Yeah, he's nice. They're good. They know how to talk to people. Dan, it's abducted in plain sight. It's like they're just like, how about we do this?

Come on, man. They're getting him. They're like, listen, I'm going to go to- It's the cop. All right. He's just consistently going, all gonna go to the cop just consistently like where's the harm in that i'm going to jail okay you can move i don't see the harm in that is his mantra i'm going with you you caught me with the jewelry and the baby toy but by the way there's nothing sexier than this i know i hope they got the cop to crush like crush the menthol in it. You pack it for her.

There's nothing tastes better than a woman who just smoked a cigarette. Anywhere. So she moves her hands from the back to the front to smoke a cigarette while standing outside the patrol car. Molendick was not handcuffed by McNeil

because he was on crutches. Okay. Okay. If you're going to rob a place. Repaint your picture. Zachary Molendick is being kicked out of Walmart stealing baby toys and jewelry while on crutches. Which, you know, the cop's like, I know you're not going to go anywhere. How far are you going to get?

If I want to, I can kick the crutches out of your hands and you're on your face. They just took a crutch away. And I just quit smoking myself six weeks ago. So I get it. I get it. I get it. I get it. I smoke a cigarette.

Just one. I get it, guys. Lee and Molendick were subsequently placed in the rear of McNeil's squad car, which the officer drove to the county jail. It's the Florida Rizzoli and Isles. As recorded on... Lee and Molendick. the Florida Rizzoli and Isles. As recorded on... Lee and Molendick.

As recorded on a police cam, the suspects cuddled and kissed en route to the St. Lucie County lockup. At one point... By the way, it's the nicest date they've been on in years. Oh, years. It's like their own...

This Florida, this is a horse-drawn carriage in Florida. Being with someone you love in the back of a cop car. It's going to cost you more than you wanted it to, but at least it's an experience. But in the end, you're like, we have a memory.

We have a memory here. On police camp, the suspects cuddled and kissed en route to the St. Lucie County lockup. At one point, and seemingly to make the ride more romantic, Officer McNeil put on Barry White's can't get enough of your love, babe, via the car's radio. That's not true. It is 100% true. That is 100% true. Part of me, it's Port Lucy, but is it Port St. Lucy?

Like, now I want this to be a Greenlee. Now I want him to explain who Barry White is. Barry White is a large, cuttling Indian. Cuddling is the act of. Cuddling is when two people commonly refer to as Spoon and Big Spoon. When the police arrived at the jail Sally Port officer McNeil allowed Lee and Mullendick to smoke a cigarette inside the car Mullendick whose hands were free had a cigarette tucked behind his ear and a lighter in his pants pocket

which means McNeil isn't even patting them down no you got anything on you nope no you have anything on you there you can light my car on fire with? No. Just this lighter. They're good kids. I like them. He's on crutches. They're stealing baby toys from Walmart. Like Walmart can't stand to lose another baby toy. One baby toy. Where's the baby?

They're trying to make it. They're trying to make it. After enjoying a smoke, the couple then engaged in sexual contact. An internal affairs report noted that, quote, due to Lee and Mullendick's body posture and arm movements, it is apparent Mullendick and Lee are sexually pleasuring each other with their hands. What? Yeah. Investigators did not base that conclusion solely on footage recorded in the cruiser during questioning by an internal affairs detective. They took it on cell phone footage that the officer recorded?

The body cam. Can't get enough of your love, baby. According to, during questioning by an internal affairs detective, Lee said, that's Krista, said that Molendick, quote, fingered her while she gave him a hand job. Molendick told the investigator. By the way, that was her description. That was her description. Ready for Molendick? Molendick told the investigator that

quote, he got her off and she got me off. These are classy people. He's always been more eloquent. McNeil's like, guys, I don't want to interrupt. I appreciate that you're both attentive lovers. You're making sure each person got me off. I got her off.

We both got everyone off. Molen, Dick, get over here. Get over here, Molen, Dick. Okay, we're going to take a quick break. When we come back, we will hear what McNeil thinks of all of this and what he did. Right after this. Stick around. Make a sound.

There's more Don't People Town. Hey, guys. Welcome back to the podcast. Andrew Youngblood is our guest. Follow Andrew Youngblood on the Twitters and the Instagrams. It is... At no youngblood. I don't know when this is going to drop, but do you have any dates coming up? If it's going to drop in the next three weeks, then yes. I don't know.

It might not. It probably won't. Where can they find your dates? Andrewyoungblood.com. I'm on tour with Dan might not. Probably won't. Probably won't. Where can they find your dates? AndrewYoungblood.com. I'm on tour with Dan a lot, so Dan Mankirk right now. If you go see Dan, you will see this wonderful comedian.

You should drop before we do our East Coast run. There you go. So people should keep an eye out for all of that. Check out either website. You'll be able to find them. In August, people can come hang out with both of us doing shows at the Secret Club. Okay, good.

So this will drop before that. Love it. So when we left, it was Molen, Dick, and Lee. O'Neal had something to say about it. McNeil. McNeil. McNeil.

McNeil. McNeil. Why McNeil said he saw nothing wrong with the couple kissing and cuddling in the car. He claimed not to have seen any sexual activity.

He just heard rhythmic slapping. However, a female cop who watched the arrestees while the cop car was in the sally port declared... I know, don't you wish it was a green light? Because we would all know what a sally port is. Exactly. I don't know what a sally port is. Isn't that what it's called when he goes inside of her?

I just put it in the sally port. I parked my mullendick in her sally port. By the way, that's it for sex from here on. I parked my mullendick in her sally port. A female cop who watched the arrestees while the cop car was in the sally port declared, quote, I think they're making babies back there. That's what she said to McNeil. By the way, just pleasuring each other manually, digitally, that is not how you make babies.

So many great cops. McNeil was suspended without pay for 20 days due to his violation of multiple police policies. And don't you hope he was like, so Loving's wrong. Yeah. Loving, that's the kind of house we want to be now. Isn't it funny that this guy who's letting these people do this is getting probably more violated time off than someone who just shoots someone who's unarmed or beats the hell out of someone who they shouldn't.

And all McNeil wanted to do was to let them love each other. We're not booked yet. No, they're going to get booked. Let them enjoy this time. He just wanted to be a legend. He wanted to be the cop that, that they were like,

yeah, I got arrested, but you would not believe this cop. You would not believe McNeil. Cool. But then they ratted him out. Yeah. He totally,

it's all on camera. Yeah, I know. But then they still got interviewed and they're like, yeah all on camera. Yeah, I know, but then they still got interviewed, and they're like, yeah. They could have lied. It's true. I was just rubbing my head. I was scratching my inner thigh.

Maybe it was so right to them, they didn't even see how that would be wrong. Yeah, of course we told them what happened. They'll believe and love. I wanted to get off his mulling deck. Coincidentally, Lee was convicted of misdemeanor theft on February 14th. You know what he did? Steal Allen. He stole Lee's heart.

He stole Lee's heart. All right. We'll get out of here on this. At one point in the year, I imagine they are the same age. Oh, yeah. How old do you think Mullen Dick and Crystal Lee are? You are a guest. You said they're the same age?

Yeah. You can go first, Tig, or third. Where do you want to go? I'll go Tig. Okay. Jay? It's Florida. 38.

Okay. 38 years old. Andrew Youngblood. They're passionate. Mm-hmm. 26. Oh, I was going to say that. You were?

Yeah. It's always fun when somebody guesses someone else's guess. We're in the wheelhouse. 29. 29 years old. They are passionate. 29. 29 years old. They are passionate. 26, 29, 38. 38.

By the way, 29 in Florida is like, like Florida years should be kind of half of dog years. You know what I mean? Like Florida years. Time three. It's like times three of a regular person. That's a lot of sun. Yeah.

All right. Zachary Molendick and Krista Lee, play along, Townies, wherever you are. Both got busy in the back of a cop cruiser. One of them is banned from Walmart on crutches. We don't even know what that is. We never learned what a Sally Ford is. We never learned what a Sally Ford is.

There's a lot of questions we have here. You ready? They both are 24 years old. Andrew Youngblood. There we go, buddy. There we go. That's it. That's amazing. Just because the cop did

it. Did he really do anything? No, he did not. I don't think I'm saying a lot of negligence. If we had more cops like him, the world would be a better place. Thank you. I do think those though, get the lighter. You never know. That's true. That's a one mistake he made.

I'd give him a few days off for the lighter. All right, there you go. That's our show. Again, follow Andrew at NoYoungBlood on Twitter and on Instagram. And follow him and watch him when he performs with Daniel Van Kirk. Go to supersquadros.com. Follow us on Instagram at at Schooler Brothers. Join our Facebook page, all that great stuff.

And oh shit, we've got to get back to work. Dum, dum, dum, dum. Dum, dum, dum, dum. Dum, dum, dum, dum. Dum, dum, dum, dum. Dum, dum, dum, dum. Dum, dum, dum, dum. Stick around.

Make a sound. Bunker down. It's Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. Stick around. Make a sound. Hung your downies. Dumb people town. Starbanes Audio. A podcast network.