Dumb People Town - DPT Mini - Hot Dog Becky - Ms. Pat

Episode Date: November 22, 2019

A brawl breaks out over hot dogs.

Skypain's out of here. Couldn't make this up. So listen to our podcast jam with co-host Armand Dan. Man, don't be a jerk. Cause when the music gets the funny hits, we are gonna take you down. Stick around. Make a sound. Tunker Down is Dumb People Town. Hey, townies. Welcome to a mini episode of Dumb People Town.

Population you. Population Pat. Miss Pat. Hi, Miss Pat. I like your intro. You like it? Good energy. Fired it up.

I thought you were about to damn start singing. I was about to damn start singing because I'm so happy you're here. So let me ask you, do you think the world's getting dumber? Yeah. Do you see it out? You travel around. You go out into the world. You know.

I do. I do. I think. But from the time when we were kids, because we're around the same age, from the time we were kids till now, it's gotten dumber. Or dumb's gotten louder. What do you think? I think it's dumber. I got kids that I think,

I have a son that I think should have got a social security check, but he kept passing the test. Oh, man. Why did he do that? I tried to get him a social security check, but he wasn't dumb enough. So I do think the world is getting dumb. He's too dumb to be dumb enough to get the check. That's right.

Well, that's the only time he ever read on time. When I took him in to take the test. Come on, man. Come on. Only test he ever passed. And you're like, why did you do that? Yeah, I beat the heck out of him. Well, that's always good.

That's great. Well, we get these stories sent to us, and there's stories that get passed around. Just like news stories that happen to people out in the world. Let's get into one and try to understand what this dumb behavior that's going on. Ready? Yes. Sent in by Linda Hartman at L-K-H-T-M-N. Thank you, Linda Hartman.

Thank you. She's been around for a long time. We appreciate all the fans who send in stories by going at DanielVanKirk. Hashtag dumb people town. Alright. Akron, Ohio. And we were talking off mic. Akron, Ohio is already done. Is that right? Is that where LeBron's from?

LeBron is from Akron. She's like Akron, Ohio. We already got problems. We already got problems. This comes by the way from News5Cleveland.com. Here's the headline. I should have read this first. Fight over hot dog leads to wild brawl. Wild brawl. So the fight starts with the hot dog.

Then it escalates to wild brawl. And I bet someone caught it on phone video. Oh, for sure. And whenever someone catches a fight on phone, they're always doing it with the vertical. I'm like, you got to go landscape When you're taping a fight I wanna see what everything's going on Cause you're missing stuff in the frame

So I gotta stop you guys So what color was these people That's what matters the most to me That determined the type of fight I don't know who started the fight So if it was white people What's the fight It's not a real brawl It's a bunch of pushing But if it's white people, what's the fight? It's not a real brawl.

It's a bunch of pushing. But if it's black people falling, it's a hot dog. Hair is pulled. Weaves are taken out. Kids flying in the air. Kids flying. It's like that Disney fight. Remember the fight at Disney?

Yes. That one brother beat everybody. Everybody. Just came in, just started pushing. Yeah, so it matters what color the people is for me. Let me see. Can I see it? I'm going to play you a video in a little bit. pushing. It matters what color the people is for me. Let me see. Can I see it? I'm going to play you a video in a little bit.

Okay. It is black people. Oh, great. That's a good fight. But I don't know if that's who starts it because it escalates between some black people after the fight. But I don't know who was all in the start. So is it white people involved? There might be in the beginning, but we're going to only see the aftermath.

So it's just black people? Just black people. So somebody, the fight, I can tell. Hot aftermath. So it's just black people. Just black people. So somebody, the fight, I can tell. Hot dog. Please tell us what happened. Please tell us. It was their last hot dog money. And he was hungry.

And so somebody asked for a bite or probably took a bite, and he beat the shit out of This is how you don't get invited back to the barbecue. This is it. You don't take a bite of a hot dog. You always got to ask, is this the last one? But who doesn't ask, is this the last one? Someone who's hungry. Ready?

Akron, Ohio. A fight over hot dogs at an Akron Speedway gas station Saturday night. Hot dogs are good. At a Speedway? Come on. I love the hot dogs at the Quick Trip in Wisconsin. Those are good, too. My son can down like nine of them Speedway hot dogs.

They used to be $1.89 for three hot dogs at the gas station. But if you use your speed and rewards, they're free. Come on. Speed and rewards. They use a thing in my hometown of Rochelle, Illinois. It's just all farm and churches and bars. And they have hot dog day in like July 12th every year. And we, as kids, this was Christmas in July.

We would literally go to every business all around town and just get free hot dogs. Have you guys had your free hot dog yet? No. We haven't. Bring it on. You're the first one. Don't you love white people? I had to literally go to church and listen to the pastor tell lies to get a Sunday dinner.

You know how long black church is? Black church is like a lot of lies. I'm sitting in a black church like, is this crap going to ever be over? Y'all hurry up. I just smell the collard greens coming out the basement. I don't need to hear the whole Bible. No, I didn't learn nothing at church. I literally went to eat.

You learned how to wait? There's nothing wrong with that. And that's the problem. By the way, if church food was bad, you wouldn't have stayed. Oh, black church food is never bad. No, it's good. Everybody at black church in the basement cooking back in those days had

diabetes and swollen feet. That's how you know it's good. Because they'd sample the food. If they can't stand up for more than 20 minutes, that's how you know it's good. Yeah, when she's cooking in a roll-away chair, it's good. That's perfect.

When she's scooting everywhere. Scoot over there and get me some potatoes. Your grandmother ain't nothing if she ain't got that roll-away chair in the kitchen. If she's stirring from below the pot. Yes. If her arm has to go up to the stove. And her boobs is on the stove catching a fire. And she don't feel it because diabetes make everything numb.

That's right. And you're going like, grandmama, your boobs on fire. Why didn't you put them out? Put them out. She can't feel her extremities. Okay. This was caught. The wild bra caught on video that started inside the gas station and spilled out into the parking lot.

Shortly after midnight, police were flagged down. I love that too. Flagged down. They weren't even coming there. Somebody just went outside and was like, guys get over here the police were flagged down at a speedway 390 east exchange street for a reference to a fight a 27 year old woman said she was standing in line at speedway with her friend when she let another female know that she shouldn't steal a hot dog since the gas station has cameras.

So she took it upon herself. This person already says, I don't care about cameras. Let me be the police. I'm stealing a hot dog. And she was like, you shouldn't steal. There's a camera. So really, this fight is about getting into somebody else's business. That's right.

Don't tell me what to do. Let me make my own mistakes. So the lady who was telling, was she white? I don't know. That was a white dog. Let's assume she was. That's why I couldn't distinctively answer you. I'm going to say, I'm minding my business.

Yeah, do your thing. I don't work here. I'm not for stealing, but I'm not for stopping to meet them. See, that's why. I don't know. I don't know if it was enough. It does feel like a white woman. That's a white woman.

It does. I'm surprised they haven't named her Hot Dog Becky. And said it this way You know you shouldn't steal hot dogs right You know you shouldn't steal hot dogs And then the black girl probably said You know you should mind your damn business How do you not know I don't have speedway points

How do you not know that I've already talked to them Exactly I'll just show you my speedway card And we're all good I'm telling you what happened So the black lady wasn't really stealing the hot dog. She was fixing it, and she was eating it as she was standing in line. The white lady assumed she's eating the

hot dog by the time she gets there, it's only going to be a napkin. How much is this napkin? They're free. Thank you. Have a good day. Thanks a lot. I do donuts like that all the time. I do bulk food like that. Don't give it away. It's a donut in my stomach. It's a donut in my stomach. like that all the time. I do bulk food like that. Don't give it away. I do bulk food like that. Don't you dare.

It's a donut in my stomach. It's a donut in my stomach. I'll pay you for the one that's inside of you. We've all had that moment. Okay. And then you roll over to the cash register. She said,

don't steal the gas station. Not because it's wrong, but because they have cameras. Right. Which means there is a context in which she could have said it in a cool heads up way and the person took it wrong.

Like if they didn't have cameras, steal away. Sure. The female and her friends, quote, didn't take kindly to that comment. Nobody likes being told what to do. They punched the 27-year-old woman.

A good Samaritan saw what was going on and attempted to get the group of females off the 27-year-old woman. When he attempted to help the woman, the group of females started to hit and attack him. Okay. So, this is what you call. Now we're going to go for the coverage. Can you curse hit and attack him. Okay. So this is what you call. Now we're going to go for the coverage. Yes. Okay. This is what you call dog walking a bitch.

Okay. I'm going to learn something right here. Dog walking a bitch. Them two black girls dog walked the shit out of who them other people were. Probably why they was eating the hot dog. For sure. That's right. Didn't even spill anything.

Like holding the hot dog away and just side punching. No, in their mouth. The hot dog was literally in their mouth. I guarantee you, they're young. They got strong lips, strong jaws. She stuck that hot dog in her mouth and dog walked that 27-year-old and then beat up the man. It had to be a white man because a brother would have knocked both of them out.

It was not. Or a brother would have been like, I'm not even. It was a white man? No, it was a brother. They beat up a brother would have knocked both of them out. It was not. Or a brother would have been like, I'm not even. It was a white man? No, it was a brother. They beat up a brother? Mm-hmm. Something was wrong with him. Okay.

I'm going to find out. I can't wait to play this video. It was Jussie Smollett. Video of the fight. I was thinking the same thing. Stop. Stop. Stop.

It was all set up. You're saying there's a hot dog set up? Did it happen? I don't even know if it happened. It's a hot dog set up. The Chappelle joke where he was like, no white Trump men are watching Empire. Video of the fight, courtesy of atcamdancy, shows the group of females

throwing tires at a man in the middle of the gas station parking lot. First, the tires were used as weapons, then a window cleaner brush, followed by an entire gas nozzle and hose. This is the point. How mad are they where they're just throwing everything? Well, tires.

Shoes come off. That's heavy. That tire is heavy. She was swinging them like a frisbee. At one point in the video, a woman grabs a gas nozzle and hose that was presumably at one point attached to a pump and then whipped it at the man pictured in the video. We're going to take a quick break. When we come back, we're going to watch part of this video together.

And you will be able to hear about it and see the video when we go to the Facebook page. But we've going to take a quick break. When we come back, we're going to watch part of this video together. And you will be able to hear about it and see the video when we go to the Facebook page. But we've got to take a quick break first. Stick around. Make it sound. There's more Dumb People Town. Hey, everybody. Welcome back to Dumb People Town. Before we get to the video and the exciting ending, Miss Pat, you have a wonderful podcast that we want to tell all of our people about.

Please tell them what it is. So that's called a pat down. I love it. It's just me and my, I got a dude on their name, white boy, Chris and my friend Dion. And we just talk mess in my,

I'm usually at home in my, um, my office with no bra, no wig. I love it. Are you in a robe? Uh, what are you wearing?

T-shirt, T-shirt, cash, cash, no bra, no wig. I love it. Are you in a robe? What are you wearing? T-shirt. T-shirt. Rock and cash. No bra, no wig means all bets are off. It means you're just relaxing. I'm just relaxing. It's you can be you. I can be me.

I can be me. I can just say whatever I want to say. You're saying it on this podcast. I love it. You guys look very Christian-fied. We're Jews. We're not too Jewish over here. There's the Christian. We're going to hell anyway yeah we're going to hell anyway oh i gotta tell y'all this story yes so um i i hope this funny because it's so funny to me so i have to tell you when i was

coming up uh young black girl in the inner city of atlanta um you know we didn't i didn't know jews was like a whole group i didn't know it was a lot of you guys. We grew up only thinking it was one Jesus hanging on the wall up on the wall of the cave. The one, and then they got rid of him, and then he's done. Yeah. And he'll come back at some point. So I didn't know anything about the Jewish population. So my brother used to break in people's houses, and he stole a laser disc one time. He laughing.

He heard this story. Wait, is that his occupation just breaking into people what's he doing he was a cat fat cat burglar okay fat cat burglar so he stole this laser disc right and inside of this laser disc was a movie and so i said okay i just keep it so when i met my husband i was like you want to see this cool ass movie and these white people just getting shot and shit and nobody's running so i pop in the movie and my husband it was a shindler list oh boy that's not exactly a marvel movie i tell my husband i was like why these dumb ass people not running run motherfucking black people hit the gate and take off fucking running and my was like oh my god pat that's the shindler list i'm like what the

fuck is the holocaust that's the holocaust i'm, what the fuck is the shindelist? He's like, the Holocaust. I'm like, what the hell is the Holocaust? He's like, it's like slavery. I was like, this shit was real. It was real. Got rid of it. Six million of them. That's why you didn't see a lot of them in Atlanta. That's when I learned what the Holocaust was.

From a stolen laser disc. And by the way, that's the way every buddy should learn about the Holocaust. I think history should be thought through stolen laser discs. I really was expecting for you guys to laugh. Y'all look shocked. No, I love it. I love it. I'm trying to come up with a tagline. The disc is life.

That's how I learned. My husband told me. He's like, hey, this is a true story. I was like, what? Hey, you have to learn sometime. And you did. I did. There you go.

It came through your brother stealing a laser. Great movie. My brother stole a lot of shit. But that was one of the things he stole. What's the biggest thing your brother stole? Can we talk about it? He's in jail right now. Yeah, he can't hear your podcast.

Okay, all right. He in jail right now. Okay. He used to break in people's houses. He stole a diamond ring for probably a couple hundred thousand dollars, and the next door neighbor got his tag number. That was it? Yeah, so he ended up doing like 10 years.

But now he's in jail for, he was shooting, I mean, he was selling guns, like the little .22 pistols. And they gave him 10 years, the FBI. And I was like, my thing is, who the hell buy.22s? If you would pull out a.22 for me, I would whoop your ass. But if you pull out a Super So soaker I'm going to take off running because I don't want my damn wig especially if you put vinegar in your super soaker

a super soaker is above a 22 in your life to me it is because you would mess up my $600 hair look at what she's got that's priorities a 22 is going to make a very small hole you can damn near put a bandaid on you can dig that out

what if someone told you not to steal that hot dog let's get back to that A.22 is going to make a very small hole. You can damn near put a band-aid on it. You can dig that out. You can dig it out. What if someone told you not to steal that hot dog? Let's get back to that. You want to watch this video? Let's watch the video. Where we left off was the fight had started. Tires are being used as weapons. They're outside now.

Windshield squeegees are being used. I'm going to see the video. The gas station. Here we go. Here's the video right now. I'm going to pull it up. I think we're going to – this is a good spot to jump in. We'll get to see some of the action.

And the man we will see right when this starts in town, like I said, this will be on the Facebook page. The man you'll see right when this starts, he's the one who tried to break it up when they were beating up. And then they were like, oh, we'll fight you now. Okay, here we go. Let's see it. Turn it. They beat his big ass. Uh-oh.

Look at this. Look at this. Throwing that at him. She about to set him on fire. Look at that. Tired. Whoa. And then he comes back and He's like oh this shit's real

Look at this throwing garbage cans And then this woman has Here she is Look at the gas nozzle She just yanked the nozzle out She just yanked it off and she's taking it You do not You don't fuck with a chick with pink hair.

No. They have nothing to live for. No, they have nothing to live for. They've already made bad decisions in their life. Her and Lil' Kim. That's it. There ain't no Lil' Kim. Oh, my God.

A big old brother, too. Yeah. He's a big old brother and he got, I mean. He didn't look too scared, by the way. He was scared. Oh, God, man. How you yanked the. Them bitches going to jail.

Yeah. They're going to jail. They're going to jail. Because you yanked the... Them bitches going to jail. Yeah, they're going to jail. They're going to jail. Because you don't tow up that gas pump. Yep. Yeah. This is all happening at the Speedway, guys. Oh, my God. Gas pump and your face is on camera.

You going to jail, bitch. You're going to jail. No more child support check for you. You going to jail. Don't you think there's probably also someone at the gas station that was like, can I just pay for my gas? Yeah. They're like, sir, we're dealing with something right now.

I have some peanut M&Ms that I'm just waiting to pay. Well, that's outside, so why would the cashier worry about it? But they look like they steal hot dogs. Because it looks like they steal hot dogs. I'm going to say what y'all can't say. No, but here's what I'm going to say. If there's a person who takes the gas nozzle off and is swinging it around like a weapon, and they only stole one hot dog, inside the cashier is like, we got to waste Godfrey.

You know what I mean? That's a fair trade. I worked at a gas station. You worked at a gas station. I did, too. I worked at Speedway. So we worked at Clark Oil in St. Louis, gas stations, two separate ones. We worked there.

And I'm telling you- I took so much stuff. I took so much stuff. We took so much soda. We took so much stuff all the time. If someone just steals one hot dog, who cares? Who cares? You're not making money on the hot dogs.

Towards the end of the video, the group of females fled the gas station in a black Ford Focus after they heard sirens. Akron police told News 5 the woman involved could face charges of criminal damaging assault, theft, and disorderly conduct. Yes.

Child, I'm talking about the gas pump. You know how much that's going to cost to put that back. That's going to be expensive. I know. And she probably work at Walmart and can't even afford to pay for the gas pump. How hard do you have to pull that pump to get it off of that? No. And you know how hard, how mad you got to be.

You got to be mad. She was mad. She was mad. And just swinging at him, he was not. You know, I'm expecting this a little bit of small man. No, it's a big dude. A big old dude. I would have ran from her, too.

That dude is like from the blind side. Yeah. All he had to do was grab him by the hair. Once you grab a black woman hair, that's our problem. That's up. Yeah. Because we trying to save that weed. Yeah, exactly.

We trying to save that weed. If you pull the thing off, that's it. That's ball game. Police said they have been called to the Speedway at 390 East Exchange Street how many times over the past year? So how many times do you guys think shit is going down at this Speedway? At that gas station? Yes. A hundred?

A hundred times. A hundred. Randy or Jason? In this calendar year? Yeah. In one year, how many times? You say a hundred. Okay.

I'm going to say 50. 50? Okay. I'm going to say a bit called 36. And let me tell you why I say 100. Why? Because that's where the drunk people go eat at. There you go.

When they done with the clubs. Yep. What did you say, Rand? 36? I said 36, but now I'm thinking, I said 50. Townies, play along with us. Because wherever you are, the amount of times in the past year that the cops have been to this exact Speedway gas station is 123 times.

Oh! He was right! Yes! You were too low! You know why I knew that? Because you steal a hot dog and you act like that. That's where everybody go to fight. That's so...

That's the hangout. That's where everybody go to fight. That's where you go to mix it up. And you know how good you are at this? Police said many of the disturbance calls have been caused by people leaving the area bars. Yes! That's what drunk people eat at. That's what drunk people eat at.

She has superpowers. News 5 contacted Speedway parent company Marathon Petroleum about the incident. They're probably like, we don't want to talk about any of this. To ask about security at that location, but they said they have no comment at this time. I know. If a woman can snatch a pump, the hand of the pump, what is security going to do for you? You need to be hiring her for security. Thank you.

Swinging that thing around like Mad Max style. Like she about to catch a horse or something it wasn't like a lasso if you're working nights at this speedway how you the you're like a football player getting ready for a game like you got to get in the zone about the war you're about to walk but only on kickoff coverage so like every single night is a battle get ready it's just a battle 120 times they've been called hey i've been've been to places like that. You've never walked in a Waffle House and they got security here. They tell you right there, your car gonna

get broken in, the stove gonna get shot up, but the food gonna be good. But you're there with your life on the line to get those mother covers and onions. They walk in and you're like, your car is gonna get shot up, your shit's gonna get stolen. Enjoy the hashbrowns. Yeah.

You might get killed. Just know when to duck. Just enjoy the hashbrowns. Know when to duck and take your life in your own hands. I don't know why the most ratchet places have the best entertainment and best food. You got to keep people there somehow. It's a place in Atlanta that be packed out the door with folks.

I can't say. I don't want to call no name, but it's a soul food restaurant. It's so good. And every now and then you might be standing in there, you might see a roach on the wall and nobody leaves. No, because they're like, the food's too good. We don't care. The food ain't good unless roaches come around. I'm just saying.

Roaches know? Because the roaches know. I mean, I don't eat there anymore, but you literally the line is out the door. Okay. And they don't care. Off mic, I want you to tell me what it is. I'm going to be going back to Atlanta.

There you go. That's the show. Well, they moved to a new location, so it's a lot cleaner now, but you should go. Okay. But you're going to stick out like a soul thong. I don't care. He doesn't care. That's okay.

He doesn't care. It is so good. We don't care. We don't care. If you ever want to fatten up your white girl, that's where you take her to. I'm in. Yeah. You don't have to buy no butt.

Just take her to this soul food restaurant. She'll wake up looking like me next week. There we go. Then do that, too. Loosen that bra, because you're going to look like Miss Pat. Bend those hooks back. What hooks? The hooks of the bra.

I thought you were talking about my feet. No. We're not going to bend those back. Miss Pat, thank you for coming to do our show. We love having you on. Thank you guys for having me. We'll have you back. You come back another time with us and hang out?

I will. I will. As soon as I get through editing this pilot. We're so excited about your podcast. So your show's going to be on Hulu. We're going to be very excited to see that. And I want everyone to check out The Pat Down because you just- Great podcast.

You're just so funny. I love- Thank you. And I also have a book out there that's still selling. It's called Rabbit. That was my drug dealer name. I love it. You should definitely get that. It's. And I also have a book out there that's still selling. It's called Rabbit. That was my drug dealer name. I love it. You should definitely get that.

It's a great book. Check that book out. We said this about you when we saw you for the very first time on stage in Chicago. We were judging the Rose Battle. Some people are just funny in their bones. And that is you. And you got it. So thank you.

Thank you. No shit. We got to get back to work stick around make a sound it's dumb people town a podcast network