Dumb People Town - DPT Stereo - Nice Ditties

Episode Date: December 10, 2020

Skypains Avenue Yo, Dan. I know. Let's hear it go. Take two of many. Well, we got kicked off by an Amber Alert. So I don't know if that's Florida speaking to us, but I hope that person's okay. We're just in the middle of saying how much we love being on the Stereo app and how much we dig talking to you guys and hearing from you, hearing your voice memos, your little ditties. I don't know. Maybe we need to come up with a name for them, but it's cool for us to have these convos with Dan and interact with you as well. Dan, how are you? How's your week

going, bud? It's going good, man. Obviously, we should, at least for us, we should call it the DPT scanner. Yeah, that is the DPT. It's like a fuzz buster. Exactly. It's like a CB. We can hear can hear members yeah that's what it is

dude we we go we go to the dbt the dpt cb when we i'm gonna say i'm gonna i'm gonna say something cb was the original internet right social media the original hey this is what's going on this this is my handle the funky phantom ph ph funky phantom what's your 20 what i'll tell you my 20 is i'm right next to you i'm right i'm right next to you goose wait hey what's do we have any uh do we have any ditties what's going on no ditties yet people are tuning in uh ran you might want to grab a story i will grab a story guys feel free to contact us leave us a little voice memo and we will in turn play it. We'll react to it. If you have a headline of a dumb story you want to share with us, we'll break it down. If you have

a story from your life where you did something dumb, we will break it down. Okay, we're going to get into this. Dan, will we have a voice memo? I'm going to play it. I used to be the evening star when I had a CB handle when I was little. I used to go on CB radio. I didn't know that the evening star was actually the devil. So that was pretty funny. You were the devil.

Oh, my God. First of all, Kathy. Kathy, thank you. Thank you so much. First of all kathy kathy thank you thank you so much first of all i love your voice second of all the evening star that evening star could be a cv handle it could have been an r&b group that like formed out of elder barge it could be i think of it as like a yeah commuter newspaper that you get on the subway like only comes out between 3 and 6 p.m. Yeah. It only comes out at night.

In Chicago, the Sun-Times used to have an afternoon edition. Really? There you go. We got more. We got five minutes. Nope. Done. Nope. Done. The answer to that is no.

The answer to that is I don't do this. I'm going to say this to you, Jake. You don't have to push so hard when you're pooping. Yeah, exactly. It should come out easily. That's going to cause problems. You may prolapse. Yeah, later in life and now. You're in that lifetime of poop.

Yeah. Hey, Jason. Hey, Jason. It's Steven Yates. Check your Twitter DMs. I've been trying to get in touch with you. Are you guys up for some Jan Flato-isms? If you say give me the green light, I may not stop. Okay.

Yes, Steven. Sorry. My phone is being used currently for the app. I think we can take some from him of Jan Flato-ism from Stephen Elton Yates. Hit us with your best Jan Flatos, Stephen Elton Yates. We've sort of left Jan Flato in the past. Yeah, I'm surprised Stephen hasn't heard the whole story. That's kind of something we reserve for if you come to one of the pre- or post-show hangs for our live DPTs.

When people ask us about it we tend to get in there i'm surprised he hasn't heard maybe we can share it here on stereo as an exclusive as a thank you to you guys for joining us live jan flato was a guy who for those who don't know uh paid uh well he had a friend that he i guess hired to be his friend for a night at a casino you know the way you hire someone to be you friend? You know how you hire your friends? And he hired companionship, and then he gave this woman some money, and she hit a jackpot on the slot machine. She got $100,000.

Then when she took the ticket up to the front to claim it, Dan, you can take it from here. She found out the rule is well they said when they got there she said okay i just won this we need to split the money and then they told her well the way it works is we can only pay the person who placed the who made the bet not the person who placed it so even though he placed the bet by giving her the money she's the one who played the bet by hitting spin. So that's who they pay is whoever played the bet. And so she was given, what was that? It was $100,000, right?

Yep. So then she was like, wait, so you're just going to give this all to me? And they go, yeah. She goes, cool. Can you have security detain that guy because I'm afraid and then I will leave the casino with all the money. So that's when we found jan we found jan and then we took look at pictures of him and he kind of looked like if verne lundquist had a mullet uh if a frog got squished down even smaller dan says say if a mullet had verne lundquist he looks like a frog with a mullet. If a mullet made a man.

He looks like he plays drums at the guitar center. I said when he was born, the doctor slapped a bass guitar. That's right. So now we know who Jan is and we got a sense of him. And we're on our way.

We had a good run. But then he decided to get a little crazy and a little anti-social. Anti-equality. Anti-equality and got in our face. And then that kind of was the end of that. But we moved on. But if you want to rip them or do some Jan Flatos, you can do them. Let's listen to another one of these.

Let's get the bad news out of the way. The Michigan versus Ohio state game has been patsy is that bad news uh michigan ohio state canceled might be putting people out of their it's like when you put a pet down uh it's sad it's like if you were gonna fight the the giant kid on the football team after school at three o'clock and then they canceled school. It was a snow day. Yeah. Because of COVID.

So have you guys tweeted out yet? Something along the lines of feeling pretty happy. We can guarantee Michigan doesn't lose to Ohio state this year. No, but we should. Yeah. In your face, in your face to everyone who said Michigan would lose to Ohio State in football.

There you go. There you go. Do it live. Tweet it right now. Do it live. Fuck it. We'll do it live. All right. That's a great note. Thanks, Patsy, for pointing it out. Here we go with another one. Hi, it's Elise. I've got a headline for you. Two arrested after winning lottery numbers were glued to ticket. I mean, how did they think they were going to get away with that? So, wait a second, Dan. These two people took, heard the winning lottery numbers. I remember this story, yes.

And then glued them to the ticket. I'm sure the glue job was not exactly, this wasn't a a high level printing example right well i mean you guys have played hide and seek with young children right sure on some level you're just proud of their effort right like even though when you say like liev i can't find you and obviously liev is much older now but six years ago you you go, yeah, Noah would still work, but you go, I can't find you, and then they go, I'm here. You're like, God, you're bad at hiding your Sikh. But on a certain level,

you're proud of them for trying. So, 90% of life is showing up, 10% of the time you get arrested. So, what I say when I want to end the game of hiding Sikh with Noah really quickly is I'll count, and I'll say, ready or not, here we come. And I'll be like, are you ready for me?

It's so mean. And she's always like, yeah, I'm ready. And I'm like, all right. But see, on some level, you're proud of her for trying. Because she's honest right so are these two people extremely dumb criminals yes but did they put themselves out there and try did they try we've all seen high school theater you went up there you learned the lines you did it you did it dan they something. That's something that doesn't, America doesn't, who says we don't make things in America?

Dan, can I? Right. We make idiots. I want to start a game and create a game called emotional hide and seek between spouses. So like you're seeing the person right there. They're like, I can't, I can't find you. Ready or not. Here I come.

I'm not ready. And the husband's like, you can't find me because i'm not allowing myself to be found yeah i'm writing about michigan i can't see your feelings right now right i can't i can't see the interview all right let's get another one they're in the they're in the laundry room great headline thank you here we go just want to say thank you for keeping things light in a dark time much appreciated oh how's the peace thank you so much thank you of course we love doing this you guys by the way we say this all the time dan and you connect with fans like nobody else you guys keep

us going am i right to say that yeah i mean the the community built by you guys and i love so much when the community interacts with each other like when stephen elton yates on twitter will call out sarah dunn or mike huddletron will come up with the names for charlie shulman and whatnot to us is like we're just naming off fans how do we know our fans because they're just so active and so great so thank you for that let's jump on another voicemail let's do it two things because i know the stars have asked it's 8 p.m currently in ireland this week's i've done people's home which everybody should go buy their tickets for on eventbrite it's on at 6 30 p.m pacific time that's 2 30 a.m irish time and also a diddy initty in Ireland is another word for

a breast. Have fun with that one. I've always loved a couple of ditties. Hey, man. Stop diddling your ditties, is what I would say. Leave the ditties alone. Or do it more. What if you say, so I'm assuming in Ireland

a lot of times, because people like to drink in Ireland, and you know, you say, he's got a nice set of ditties. Mm-hmm. Okay. Well, I mean, the original lyrics were, I believe, were a nice full ditty about Jack and Diane. That's right. Or I'm a member of the Itty Bitty Ditty Committee. A supple ditty about Jack and Diane.

Next one. Dan loves it when we sing. Guys, good afternoon. My name's Chris LaFontaine. I'm out here in Rhode Island. I drive for a living. Just want to tell you on all your platforms, all your podcasts, just a funny show. The three of you keep me going

through this awful, horrific time. Thank you all. Merry holidays to you and me going through this awful, horrific time. Thank you all. Merry holidays to you and all of your families. Thanks, guys. I want this guy showing up at my house. LaFontaine. He's the pre-Fontaine. He's post-pre-Fontaine. He's post-Fontaine. He's post-Fontaine. Chris LaFontaine,

man, thank you for doing what you do. I'm sure if you're driving around right now, first of all, at least you're by yourself that's a good thing you're socially distant um and i'm glad we can give you a little bit of a laugh this thing that's what we love doing and the fact that it connects with you you're out in rhode island you're doing your thing i love it fantastic dan don't you love this dude oh my god i mean we still have i love a good merry holidays too reminded me of uh trading spaces where he

goes merry new year oh dan wait here's my question did this guy for a second take you back to your story of the guy with the parking space which is my favorite new dan van kirk epic stand-up bit yeah but uh you're all right bro you're all right bro keep coming back my friend no don't give it la he's he's dan's new england dad thanks chris you rule buddy here we go hey guys just curious thoughts on bidets i think americans are scared of water in their butt thoughts Thoughts? Bidets are amazing. Bidets are... I think they are afraid of anything entering the anal cavity. Whatever that may be.

That's like an inherent homophobia. But the truth is, someone in our poop... Dan, we did a poop documentary, as you know. I know you did. And Rob Corddry will tell you at length about how much he loves his bidet. And someone else told us that, you know,

gave us a great analogy. They're like, why are we wiping our asses with like dry paper? Like a bidet, like if you got shit on your arm, would you just take a dry napkin and wipe it off? No, you'd run it under some water.

So the bidet is kind of genius. And at a time where, remember at the beginning of the pandemic, we thought we'd be out of toilet paper dan we were gonna have everybody was just using like chipotle napkins to get through the night got it dan what can you get from i love a good bidet what can you get from you know the chipotle put in bidets anything anything on the customer side of the glass is up for grabs i don't think that's true that's not true yes you yeah why do you think they bolt those chairs down because they know and they know you're gonna take them i saw i just opened up dan's cabinets there are

six chipotle hot sauces in there open up the other one there's there's 17 little red baskets oh god dan you don't need Little Red Baskets. 17 Little Red Baskets sounds like a Christmas song. So for those who don't know what we're doing, and thank you for joining us. We see more people joining all the time. We're on the Stereo app, which is so badass. We love it. We're getting voice memos, ditties, little ditties, a pair of ditties from you guys.

And we're answering your questions. This is probably, of all the things that we do, it's like a call-in talk radio show version of Dumb People Town. It's unlike anything else we do on Dumb People Town. We should mention we're doing a live Dumb People Town this Saturday night with the guys from The Dollop, who is one of our favorite podcasts. It's Dollop People Town. It is your office Christmas party. We just released a few more tickets. Low ticket alert.

Eventbrite.com, live Dumb People Town. But I'll say this. This is like Loveline, except we don't start every phone call with who touched you. We just released a few more tickets. Low ticket alert. Eventbrite.com, live down people town. But I'll say this. This is like Loveline, except we don't start every phone call with who touched you. Which uncle touched you? Here we go. Next. We could.

Hey, Randy, Jason, Dan. I just want to let you know I've been listening to you guys for years. I think you were actually one of the first podcasts I ever listened to back when you were called Sklodbro Country. And you guys have meant a lot to me over the years. I really appreciate you guys putting out so much content. And, you know, my brother actually introduced me to your podcast. And so we've been able to talk about you and laugh about it many times over the years. So thank you. It's been a lot. John Arminio. Thank you, my man. Thanks, John. I appreciate that. And again, this is sharing Dumb People Town with friends and sharing, you know, Squadro Country or whatever, any of the content that we do with your friends

is to me a great experience because the shared experience, that's everything, right? Inside jokes, right, Dan? Oh, it's yeah, It's the total best. And what I like is that every single episode stands on its own. So you could hear one on a road trip with a friend and I think have a really good time. Or like you guys were saying, there's a kind of a baseline there of a community where you'll be waiting for you guys to make the next Rizzoli and Isles joke. Or start talking to Carson. Or have Jason tell a Domino's story. Or have Randy talk about anything on the playa.

Yes. Any Burning Man reference, Randy? Coming up on the show, we've got Rizzoli but no Isles. Rizzoli in a middle seat. I love all of this thing. So, me too, Dan. I love it.

I just came into this conversation and I know you all talk about pooping I have a real serious question Sure On a scale of one To absolutely ecstatic How dope is it When you drop an all American

You know what I'm talking about It's like when you drop that thing And then you wipe and it's nothing You know what I'm saying You got a blank sheet of paper You know what i mean hey that's the best it feels like your internals are working absolutely perfect when your poop just comes out like and doesn't even leave a streak and you know what i mean just drops right straight plop you know straight straight straight with no poop your sheet. You know what I mean?

You know what I mean? Straight down with no brown. You know what I'm talking about? This is Gambit. Thank you, brother. That's the king's gambit, and he's right. The truth of the matter is that it feels like you just found $20 in your wallet. All right, you two.

All three of you guys. But it is a good feeling. It's, you two. All three of you guys. But it is a good feeling. It's a clean sheet. It's like doing a shutout in English Premier League soccer. It's a clean sheet. There we go. Hey, guys. I've got a green leaf.

No way. Tasha. Headline. Adult dancer Strawberry fights other dancers. We got this. Thank you, Tasha. We talked briefly. Someone brought this up last week. Adult dancer Strawberry fights other dancers. So we got this. Thank you, Tasha. We talked briefly. Someone brought this up last week. Adult dancer Strawberry fights other dancers. Look, we don't.

I think I would love it. If Strawberry fought Banana, would that make a smoothie? I don't know. That would not go. That would make it a different strip club. Yeah. You don't see too many co-ed strip clubs dan no but there's one in vegas called the sapphire and i went there uh once at a bachelor party i

spent more time on the uh male dancer side than the female because the male dancer side is hilarious and a real goddamn show and a way better vibe than the other side of the room. Trust me. Yeah. It's the thunder from up over. Yeah, there's like a sense of a community show going on in the male strip club. The male strip club side is a

legit choreographed show performance. It is awesome. It's like the Lion King with balls. Right. It's like Starlight Express. When Jan

Flato... I'm sorry. I started this wrong. There are three things Jan Flato always has on his person. His keys, a chapstick, and a snake bite kit. Steven Elton Yates. I would say Jan Flato always feels like he's about to audition for the next season of Alone. There you go.

In all of his relationships. Jan Flato has spent many years alone, so he could do it. All right, here we go. relationships. Yeah, Dan Plato has spent many years alone, so he could do it. Alright, here we go. I'm glad that Michigan is going to put Ohio State's championship grab in jeopardy by not even playing them,

even though they would have got crushed if they hadn't taken the field this weekend. That's a great point. Damn straight. Damn straight, and I tweeted that out like Jay and Dan told me to. Here's the thing. It's one thing to get a, if you're single, to get a beautiful woman to be interested in you or a beautiful man to be interested in you.

It's an entirely other feeling of victory when you can cock block a friend or an enemy. That's right. And that's basically what Michigan just did. Thanks, COVID. Tough. Eat it. Thank you, COVID. Tough eat it. Just calling here. It's really cool that you're doing these live

things. I'm in our... I've been following you guys and then I've been following Dan on Penthouse for a while. Dan said some really nice things to me about my mental health. I'm the one that got in a fight with my brother earlier this year. I just wanted to say thank you for what you do

and this was great okay that was very nice of him to say for anybody who couldn't hear it he was just saying that he really enjoys the show that we do together as well as pen pals my name is Rory Stone he wrote into the show and we responded to his letter

and I hope everything continues to be going great for the man. Appreciate you having me out there, brother. I appreciate you as our fan. I'm confused. How does that work? I, like, blew a lot of – how does that work? Like, what's going on here?

So is that guy calling from the airport, like, on the tarmac? To me, he's not only calling from inside the port authority. It works like this i feel like go ahead dan oh i was just gonna say like i feel like he just finished watching the undoing and that was his response and that was his undoing yes uh dan we are two little avatars they can't come up with a joint avatar for us they might work on it they might work on it if we continue to have nice numbers like we have been on this thing join avatar join avatar here we go another one hey

fellas big fan love you guys love the podcast this app is weird i feel like you guys are going to get a ton of trolls uh we don't care trolls are fun for us because, this is what we say. When someone tries to heckle us at a comedy show, we just say, you just picked a fight with two people. So it's going to be two-on-one in about a minute, and you're going to wish you didn't do that. So now there's three of us, right, Dan? Exactly. Good luck. The idea that if there are trolls, they're kind of fun. Cause we can get into the psychology of who would troll this. There's no need to troll this,

but Hey, if you're following us, we count you, we count you as being a warm body in the room. So thanks a lot for joining. Even just to troll. Here we go. Headline naked silver Springs,

man urinates on himself during fourth battery arrest of 2020. And if we want to play a little game, we can do that. Guess the we want to play a little game. We can do a guess the BAC. For that as well. Wow. We can do guess the BAC. I want to guess the BAC. So that guy was.

Talking about urinating on himself. During a fourth battery. Yeah. Look if you don't work. You got to be in the twos right. You got to be in the point tw, right? You got to be in the point twos. So look, here's the deal. If you don't work for Duracell, you should not have more than one battery. No, that's number one. And number two, Dan, I'm constantly, and maybe this

is just a function of me almost being 50 years old. I'm constantly looking at whatever I have to do and making sure I empty my bladder before I do it. That's a young man's mistake right there. You're not thinking of the future. So I'm in a tough spot because Dan, I have been straying from my diet, this diet that I've been on for eight months and going up a little bit in weight. And so my way to combat that is that I'm starting to drink diet, which is so dumb. It's, this is literally going to kill me more than that diet A&W root beer. And I love it because it feels like a little bit of a treat. And when I get that craving,

I go get the root beer and I do it and I have like three or four a day. But what happens is it's causing me to have to pee in times when i should not be peeing like the other day i waited for randy to come open up the door to where we do the podcast and he was like three minutes late through no dancing i'm dancing on the street man jay meanwhile he's drank so much uh nw repair that he pees handlebar mustaches folks nothing wrong with that either all right let's get another let's keep it on here hey what up brothers what up daniel uh what up jason thank you guys for the show man and the time i appreciate it i love the talk keep it up guys soul stereo thanks buddy i

love your avatar and love your voice uh i wonder if you do a show on this thing maybe you do i appreciate you dude and this is this is a blast like we get to actually you know again there's so many different incarnations of of what we do if you if you come to the live don't people tell you hang out appreciate our post show that's a real opportunity for us to talk directly to you in like a zoom format uh if you come to the show you get to sit and just watch a show and laugh and watch us interact with guests and musical people. This is just a chance for us to literally get the voicemail. Let's scroll the call.

Let's call it. We're rolling calls, right, Dan? I love it. I mean, we never know if we're going to meet an alien or just hear someone's in some sort of constipation. The best part is when we actually get to talk to somebody who loves the show as much as we do jim what was the show in st louis growing up there was camo x was our big you know in new york it was 10 10 wins what is in chicago wfan for what like the am radio station the one that has like 12 000 watts and like can go for wgn wgn the radio station so in st louis it was camo x and on sunday mornings they would have something open line no not the open line but it was like the

trading the trading station and just people would call and leave messages like i have a dinette set for a hundred dude we had that in rochelle the trading station so it was like this was your opportunity so like this to me feels a little like an emotional trading station in rochelle. The trading station. So it was like, this was your opportunity. So like this to me feels a little like an emotional trading station. In Rochelle, it was called the trading post. It came on every day from 1130 to 12 p.m. on WRHL, Rochelle's leader for news. And people would call in all day. Everybody like had air conditioners and kittens. They were trying to get rid of them.

I've got a tabby cat in a wall-mounted unit. I love the trading post. All right, we got more voices. Let's hear it. As far as fear of bidets, I'm only scared somebody's going to piss all over mine. Piss all over the bidet? That's a good point yeah because you people just see the bowl and they're like well i guess that's for me and especially if you're a

dude because you know bathrooms i think this well i would say if you're worried about that okay here's my recommendation to you my man get the warmed japanese toilet seat that has the bidet sort of addition onto your toilet and so then it's just a tube coming from the same someone can pee into that tube then they're pretty accurate that's unbelievable so that's like we call that a bidet you put a little bidet on your toilet and make it work we put man touting next one hey guys you should have have an election for the new Jan Flato for 2020. Thanks, John. Thanks, John.

Let's figure out who would be the new. It's John K., but I just call him Jonk. He's like Gronk. He's like Gronk, but more thoughtful. He's like Gronk without the fist pumping. Jonk. John K., that's a great call. We need to figure out who is the new Jan Flato

Jan Flato 2.0 right Dan yeah I mean I think we'll find or they'll find us yeah Jan Flato you don't find Jan Flato Jan Flato finds you or the next one so we'll figure that out alright good call hey guys so quick headline for you

great the bad sex award has been cancelled as public has been exposed to too many bad things in 2020 it goes on real quick the prize for unconvincing perfunctory embarrassing or redundant passages of sexual nature and sound literature novels will resume in 2021 thanks for doing this see you guys on saturday appreciate Appreciate it, buddy. So, Dan, that was... I guess there are razzies for worst sexual

scene or passage in a book. I don't know. Really? This year, I was going to give mine, and it was sexual not in physicality, but in emotional. I was going to give it to my octopus teacher.

Stop. Oh, Randy. They had a connection, Dan. Don't give anything away. Don't you dare ruin this documentary for me. Dan, I thought it was weird that when the octopus, when they thought the cameras weren't rolling, Rudy Giuliani laid down on the bed and put his hand down his pants next to the octopus, which was weird.

I did think that in his will, the octopus asked to be thrown on the ice at a Red Wings game. Sports joke! Here we go. We got another one. Hey, guys. What's good?

It's LeBlond James. Wondering if you're going to be back on Kill Tony when they move to Austin. Love you guys on Kill Tony. LeBlond James out. Thanks, LeBlond James. King James. First of all, I love a call in and I love a call out. Way to go, LeBlond James.

LeBlond James. I mean, the great thing about all these guys moving to Austin is everyone wants to go there. So, yes, I guarantee you the next time I play, you know, RIP Cap City, although I'm sure it'll come back in some form, or Moon Tower, or even if I'm just there doing like Esther's Follies or some sort of alt venue. Yeah, of course, I will be hitting up Tony Hinchcliffe, and we will be hanging again as soon as the world lets us and everybody keeps wearing their goddamn masks. It would be great to do a live Dumb People Town in Austin with him and do kind of like a home-and-home type deal. That would be great. For sure. I'd love it. Next.

Hey, guys. It's actually about 25 years old, I would say, from when a mule pulling a buggy in the French Quarter in New Orleans had a bit of a freakout and took off. And the headline in the newspaper read, Panicky Mule Leaps Through Windshield. Wow. First of all, okay, so I love this. And this is maybe a new thing that we can do here on the stereo app. So we're going to now invite fans to, for the next time we do this, or you can even do it now in the last remaining minutes that we have here, pick a great historical crazy story headline and we'll break that down. That feels like one. What I love about what we used to do in New Orleans, which is fun to do because there's a lot of drunk people in new orleans we always used to do the game drunk or injured it's almost like block

or charge for rex chapman but drunk or injured is that person drunk or injured or both so why is that person walking funny because there are a lot of people limping in in the french quarter but can you imagine maybe you got kicked by a mule so you've got a mule i don't know i mean yeah the whole thing there you go sorry dan i mean it obviously makes me sad i hope that the mule was completely fine i'm gonna trust that kevin tarrington would not have picked a story where the animal got hurt because like kevin's such a great guy um but uh yeah i mean this just proves like anytime you put an animal in a place where it wasn't supposed to be, and then everybody's so shocked when they freak out. Like, Dan, what do you think about the people who were in the car?

I'm just going to assume that there were two people in the car. And it's the wife turning the, honey, does that mule look like it's coming towards us a little bit faster? Will you stop? Will you stop and let me drive? I'm trying to find our hotel. That mule looks really like it's coming at us fast. Just please let me drive. I'm trying to find our hotel. That bill looks really like it's coming at us fast. Just please let me drive. Yeah, that's

a guy that must have been terrifying. Jesus. Oh, my Lord. Hey, boys, guess what? What? We have a live show this Saturday, and when we do those live shows, we have tickets go on sale right away for the very next show, and when people buy those

tickets, they're entered in to win free upgrade to hang out with us in the post-show hang. And I have the names of the people who are winning. And I don't know if they'll be here. Somebody's going to have to get them off the bidet and tell them. Yeah, get off the bidet. I have some dumb people townies who get a free upgrade ticket because they bought tickets right away.

Everybody who comes to the show this Saturday will get to enter the same contest for the next time. But you want me to read them real quick? Yeah, let's do the names. Let's do it. Philip Hand. Literally Mr. Hand. Hand the guy. Carl Slominski.

Nice. Slominski. Chicago sounding name. Slominski. The Slominskis are coming over this weekend, by the way. You better stock up on Schlitz. Angelica Oland. Angelica.

Eliza. And Oland. Jason Pickle. Yeah, put himself in one. And Matthew Trenter. Matthew Trenter. Beautiful. All right, let's do another one.

Thank you, guys. Thank you, Scott. Don't you know that you are my shooting glass? Don't you know? Daniel Van Kirk, hi as well. Jeremiah Watkins here. Very excited to riff with you guys later this week on Dumb People Town. My question is, what did you guys miss most about the Moon Tower Comedy Festival in Austin this year?

Hanging with you. Yeah, I missed you. Yeah, dude. Jeremiah Watkins. So Jeremiah Watkins was and is part of two of our favorite, three of our favorite shows. So right now you should follow Jeremiah Watkins on Stereo App. And then also go to his website he has the greatest hat in his merch that i've ever seen which is uh a saxophone on a hat i'm buying it it's simple and beautiful and he's

got a new stand-up special that he recorded brand new one hour special yeah it's called homecoming you can get out you can watch it on amazon prime right now it's so good if you have amazon family reunion i'm sorry it's called family reunion i don't know what i. Yeah, he performs in front of his family up in the belly room. It's so much fun. And he's just one of our favorite comedians out there. So he is part of the roast battle, which we do, and have been roasters and judges many times. Dan, you've been a judge there. He is part of Kill Tony.

He's brilliant on Kill Tony as, you know, in the band. And he's in the goddamn Comedy Jam. Three shows that we just love so much so in addition to him stand up on the spots stand up on the spot which is where you make up the stand up as you go and it's so much fun I love this dude and uh we can't wait to have him on dumb people town he's gonna crush it because no one improvises quite like him thanks Jeremiah hey not sure if my message went through earlier just wanted to say thank you all for what you do and um me being an artist and working from home

especially this year not being able to go out and tour and play music and see people it's been really really fun um and dan thank you for what you do on pen pals as well um we talked with uh uh or you responded to my letter about my brother fighting me. So he punched me in the chest several times, if you remember that. But either way, you said some nice things, and it really helped me through a lot of stuff. And yeah, just appreciate you all so much. Brian, thank you for getting back in. We did kind of sort of hear what you were saying, but I'm so glad he clarified.

And isn't that great, Dan, when folks uh we get the follow-up because we are kind of throwing some stuff out in a vacuum but it's yeah and you know and that's what actually what i love about stereo uh i'm gonna start doing a couple things on here more often where i come on for 10-15 minutes a little bit of quality time with dvk so anybody listening that wants to throw me a follow feel free to do so you know when i go live and you can chime in and have like a few minute conversation with me because it's you're right ran like that sort of stuff when you get to hear back from somebody you know one that was actually jason that was actually okay all right well now i'm just talking to randy uh no that was actually randy oh okay okay sorry so listen to this jay what i'm trying to say actually randy that was but it does feel great man i mean that's why we love stand-up right like so many things

projects we work on it like you send it out there and you wait forever to hear how it comes back but when we get to do stuff like this on stereo app or when we get to do live shows uh it's like we're gonna do on saturday it's just instant like right away you get to like get that feedback from people and feel like all right i'm glad i didn't uh but he finished college he brings up a good point so he's a musician and and plays and just missing that live road stuff is just just that feeling it's i will say the live dumb people town that we do that we're going to do this weekend he approximates it as close as possible yep yeah great you know what i missed though to go back to go we can listen to farts okay what do you want to say dan oh i was going to say what i miss most about austin is watching jason walk off into the night to go to barbarella at like

2 30 in the morning what i miss is standing in p terry's over by oh there you go at austin hotel and uh standing in P. Terry's with all the guys from the Goddamn Comedy Jam ordering a veggie burger, an impossible burger that tastes like a regular burger and singing at the top of our lungs while someone has an acoustic

guitar in there. It was heaven. That's the best. At two in the morning. It's beautiful. This is Kristen Kim and I have a dumb story from my own life. My husband and I were having to take a train from Tokyo Station to the airport to come back to America, and we didn't leave ourselves enough time. Well, we finally found our platform And the train was about To leave the station So we grabbed all of our luggage

Our giant ass luggage And got on the train And realized after we got on And it was moving that it was the wrong Train What would you guys have done Oh my god Now I want to know

So they're still married after that The blame game in that moment Dan Oh my god. Now I want to know, so they're still married after that. The blame game in that moment, Dan. I know, but I mean, you both did it. I know. Also, Kristen, first of all, I just want to say I loved Kristen. She comes and hangs out at game nights and stuff, and I hope I see her

for game night this Friday or the movie talk show that i'm doing but i we if you both do it i mean at that point there's literally nothing you can do the train is out of the station right the train is on the station i think you just see where this new life takes you at least you're together hey we we live in kyoto now that's who we are. That's just who we are. We hang out with the cherry blossoms. That's what we do. Indiana Jones didn't want to jump out of a plane using a raft as a parachute. But sometimes when life gives you lemons, yeah, you just add vodka.

You just go ahead. I mean, as Indiana Jones says, when life gives you lemons, you shoot a guy in the chest. As Indiana Jones said, when life gives you lemons, you shoot a guy in the chest. As Indiana Jones said, when life gives you lemons, you land a plane into a golf course. All right, here we go. Hello. Hey, good message. My husband is from Missouri, too, and he grew up in Collinsville. Have you ever guys seen the big ketchup bottle we have not seen

a big ketchup bottle but randy and i thompson's water sealed a barn in collinsville illinois oh my god and our buddy dave who had the so we were in eighth grade and dave was a senior we worked for his painting company dave who was the boss did not wear a hat When Thompson's water sealed this bar And we're spraying it We're not just painting on there And he got all this water sealing In his hair and he couldn't get it out So we had to shave his head bald

And start over again Randy and I in our hats Our hats were like slicked down They were like skull bandit hats That's what we were wearing back in the day Come on and Kodiak You, when you're doing Cha hats. But oh my god. We have not seen the giant ketchup bottle. I want to see it. Beautiful. Thank you. Thanks for speaking back to us.

Same guy again, giving us a weird thing. Hello. He did that before. I like him. There was a story in a town about four hours from here where a man got stabbed over an argument about ramen noodles. Just thought you guys should know.

Did we do that story? We did not do it, but I read it. Domestic violence is hard because it's often not funny even when the reason is hilarious. Right. I mean, to me,

if the fight Dan was over, whether it's called cup noodles or cup of noodles, which it is cup noodles. I'm just going to tell you guys it's cup noodles. It's not cup of noodles. It's not cup. Oh, noodles.

It is cup noodles. It's like when someone says, I have a myriad issues. I have a myriad of issues. It's not of. It's myriad issues. Here we go. My name is Soylentari. So this is Michael Winslow's son.

He's really into sound effects. His BAC was .38. .38! Oh my god, dude. .08 is the legal limit, right, Dan? Yes. Yeah, but that's kind of arbitrary.

Ah, Daniel. We say.2, you're wasted. Point three, you're literally not breathing on the breathalyzer. You're just pouring vodka into it. Point three, eight, you think you're invisible. That was that kid's grade point average in high school. Point three, eight. Can you imagine having a conversation with somebody like that?

No more. How are you? I'm good, buddy. I'm good buddy i'm good man what's up everybody y'all know what it is it's f-band tay flair y'all come fuck with me i got a show f-band show there's a few of us we we lit man y'all follow me i follow back man shout outs to the guys hosting this podcast it's a great podcast i love dude is, is it wrong for me to want to hear him interview Marshawn Lynch? No. How do you go into beast mode?

And they just back and forth both say you run through a motherfucker face. This dude, man. Great voice. I do want to listen to you. I agree. I really enjoyed that vibe. Yeah, man. I love your vibe.

Come fuck with him. He's inviting you to come fuck with his shit. If someone says that, you do it. Go check out his show. Follow him. He's worth it. Thanks, buddy. Thanks for tuning in. Here's a shitty headline. Two of my local restaurants and one of the pubs are going to be defying

state laws and open for indoor seating. Fun times. I get it if you're in a cold environment who did that who said that uh i think it was a miss miss davis um you know it's we get it look i i don't blame businesses who are desperate for wanting to do anything this is where we need the government to step in and help people get through this time just pay people the money they would have made in this time so they can just survive i don't understand it's like hey we need you to close down cool can you help us out no well hold on here yeah yeah help out the people so that you

should you should do one of two things one you should not have to pay rent at all in your whatever in your life and the people and the people who are paying mortgage should not have just to spend everything on all levels what is your set for another six months and your favorite moment of your favorite movie that you're gonna watch this holiday season is it's a wonderful life and my favorite moment is when everyone comes in and just throws money at the at the family everybody gives a little bit to help a lot it's my favorite socialist propaganda so so when we get a vaccine and people are hanging out they're gonna that's what's gonna happen everyone's gonna bring a little bit of money and just throw it at

people at their old favorite local spot. Like they're strippers. You just make it rain. It's going to rain hard. Next time, I hope. Hey guys, so excited for the show on Saturday. Yay. I was wondering if you could give me any more information about the Dalit People Town posters.

I'm hoping I can get my hands on some. Thanks. If you wanted to hear about again thanks well we just announced this if you wanted to hear about it first we just announced this info on our facebook live page if you like what we're doing here if you already know about it if you've just been straggling around and haven't gotten on it facebook live uh we jumped on we have our page where we put all the posts from the shows there's a lot of great stuff that happens there but we do have the posters i believe jason sclarg is probably holding one or looking at one right now.

Yeah, amazing. They're amazing. They are phenomenal. Jeffrey Tice created them. You'll see Mac Lethal. You'll see the guys from The Dog, Gareth and Dave. You'll see my own personal Rizzoli and Isles, Randy and Jason Sklarg, as well as myself drinking from a bottle of Malort. You can get the posters right now.

You can choose if you want to have the three of us sign them we it'll be uh signing them they will be individually numbered we are doing a limited run all the for they're like 30 bucks the proceeds you know after everything that costs and ship them out everything that's made profit off of them is going to be 100 given to charity this holiday season. If you go to danielvankirk.com right now, or if you go to the link tree in my Instagram or my Twitter, whatever it is, you can order a poster.

They're going to sell out between now and the end of the show. We are not going to have any left. If you want a one-time Dollop People Town poster, you can get one. Did I forget anything, boys? No, you're on it. Let's do another. 890.

That's a little popular one in Chicago as well. 890. Thank you. To your eyes. Who's on 890? I just gotta say this right now, man. Screw Rochelle. I used to work for BNSF. I had to drive people up there. It's rough. I'm in Rock people up there. It's rough.

I'm in Rockford now, but it was rough. Dan, who is that? Serengeti? Do you think I have anything to say to anyone who says anything bad about Rochelle? No, we're moving on. Hello guys, Keith Andrew here from the UK. I'm going to be honest with you, I'm not

familiar with your work, but I'm going to be listening in to your conversation. I'm an actor slash musical with you. I'm not familiar with your work, but I'm going to be listening in to your conversation I'm an actor slash musical theater performer here in the UK. So when I hear fellow performers on this app, I like to listen in and Can hear your shared experiences. So looking forward to this guy's hope it goes well And thank you very much for being on stereo today. Wow, man. Thank you, Keith. Andrew, my man. Excited to see and hear what you have. You have a beautiful voice and

he enunciates well. He gets his point across. Did he leave that Diddy and iambic pentameter? I don't know, but I feel like he was dressed nicer than we are while he was saying that. Now, that guy could have been in sweats. Could have been in sweats, but I... Or nothing. Or nothing.

Or a fig leaf. And I still feel like that guy is dressed nicer than me. I'm going to say he was wearing sweats in an ascot made of sweat material. When we say sweats, we mean trainers. Trainers are the shoes. And then a kit would be your outfit. And he pulled it from the

boot of his car. I'm just trying to throw things out. Hey, man. Jay, take the lift up top. I took it to the top. Take the lift up top to the water closet, and let's run this. Hey, guys, Elise again. I'm just curious what you think of them adding breakdancing

to the Summer Olympics in 2024. So breakdancing? Yes. Dan, the only way I'll accept break dancing at the summer olympics is if at the end of it they save the rec center at the olympic village you break dance to save a rec center or you don't break down did i tell you i've gone down the youtube rabbit hole uh with my son when he was into break dancing a couple years ago how much did you love it the there is there is a video if you just put it to youtube old school break break dancing there's like

current modern day breakdancing the moves and the power with which these guys do unreal breakdancing it's almost like a rap battle or a roast battle yeah because they go one to each other they sort of pick a guy and they dance at that guy it's the dopest thing i've ever seen in my life it's so cool dan find it you're gonna love it i will but my thing is this if we're getting olympic level break dancing yes and that means that we don't get a movie called step up to the podium then what are we doing this for we're exactly step up to the Podium, then what are we doing this for? Exactly. Step up to the podium and get your medal. You know who's not going to win the Olympic breakdancing gold medal?

Ireland. I was going to say Sweden. All right, whatever. Let's go. Guys, this is better than sports talk radio. At least you're taking time to listen to what we have to say and thanking us. And I can get a voicemail out to you kind of instantly versus waiting two and a half hours on hold for 10 seconds of airtime. Just to say that my New England Patriots are not making the playoffs this year.

Thanks. Dude, what's going on with the Pats? Hey, by the way, I'm not so sure that they're not making the postseason this year. Six and six? Six and six. And don't ever count them out bro uh but seriously uh yeah no it's it's fun to listen to what you guys have to say i mean to me this is this is what makes this thing different from anything else we've done we're on the stereo

app we're taking your voicemails your memos your ditties whatever you want to call them i love this you know what this is going so well dan i think we're going to do it next tuesday as well at the same time we got about 10 more minutes left on this little conversation but then next tuesday at 12 noon we'll dial this shit up again and then maybe we'll do it again next thursday too uh this has just been a blast so far if you guys like this let the at stereo app know on twitter and whatnot let them know that you like what we're doing and that we should do more of them and we'll continue to do them in the new year. Here we go. Do you guys

like soccer? Oh, I love soccer. Oh my god. That guy's... I just said soccer. You sound like Tim or Eric. Tim or Eric if they ate Jeff Ross. I'm going to say this out of love.

I don't know if the guy knows us or knows me well enough to know the beautiful place in my heart that this is coming from. But I spent years being a door guy. And that comment right there was around 5.47 p.m. Right right because of the time difference yeah that guy walks out he's taking a cigarette out of out of the box yeah and and he pounding he would probably blow like a 0.22 and i and i look over at him as he walks out on the patio as i'm carding people and he looks over at me and as he puts a cigarette in his mouth he goes, do you like soccer? And I mean that with love.

I mean that with love. I want that moment to happen in my life. Dan's like, we're starting this conversation. It's happening right now. Oh, we're already in it. We started it before you walked out here. Dan, but here's the deal

with the answer to that question. When a drunk guy comes up to you and says do you like soccer there is no answer you can give him that won't force him to have follow-up conversation oh no no this is what i thought you were gonna say there's no answer you're going to give that is going to change what he's decided he's saying next. It's rhetorical. It's a direct rhetorical question. Dan, it's like he's not so. Dan, Jay and I, when we were we were in, I think, Baltimore, we were going to do a college gig. And this is like the week of the finale of The Sopranos. a college gig and this is like the week of the finale of the sopranos and they had johnny sax who i thought was an unbelievable actor on the on the sopranos johnny sax they had him on like

this we were gonna go on this radio show no they were like a local it was like a local radio show we were gonna go on later to promote our shows and they asked him what was his acting style and how did because he's such a good actor and And Randy and I were expecting him to hear like, oh, it's this Meisner method where I, I was expecting to hear basically what the guy who just left us as a voicemail from England, who is an actor.

I was expecting to hear that sort of quality of training. He was like, this was the guy, the actor who played Johnny Sachs on the radio. And everybody's like, truth be told, I don't listen to what anybody says. I just wait for them to finish and do my line. When they stop talking,

that's when I start talking. We're like, what? Let's get this process. You like soccer? You like soccer? Yeah, no, I don't like soccer. Well, I love it. It's great, right? They're like, oh, I didn't say I really watched it, but it's a beautiful

game. I don't know if this guy knows me or knows us, but I want him to know I'm saying all this with love. We love you, buddy. Well, Dan, if the guy likes soccer like we think he likes soccer, then he's kind of in mourning probably because of Diego Maradona passing.

I'm not sure if he likes it. He might not like it. Hey, Jason, has anyone ever told you you sound exactly like a really famous comedian? Goes by the name Randy Sklar. It's just like trippy, honestly. Thank you, that Jewish guy. We are those Jewish guys, too.

Yeah, I do sound like Randy. But our close friends can tell the difference on the phone, right, Dan? Yes, I can tell the difference. It took me a couple years. A lot of people have called Jason the Randy Sklar of Sklar brothers. There you go. There we go. That's a great message.

That's a great message. I couldn't agree with that. By the way, thank you, Stephen Hawking for joining the conversation. Here we go. Hey guys, just

we got better. Hey guys, just wanted to let you know Chicago loves you we all miss you hopefully we'll get to see you again someday yeah thanks for making this dude thank you yeah dude and we'll see when

if it's possible ever to do another show at North Bar or wherever we do it Lincoln Hall you never know we'll see you there, and that'll be a wonderful time when we can all be in a room together laughing. Hey guys, love the show. Got a headline for you.

Bronx burglar busts into home to steal a single light bulb. How many burgers does it take to steal a light bulb? One? One Bronx burglar? Right. We call this the convenience store of robbery you just need one thing i'm not going there i'm not going to rob this place to get everything i need for the rest of the year i just need one thing and then i'm out all right dan you want to know my theory yes my theory is that this guy

isn't friends with his neighbors because if you're friends with your neighbors, you don't need to do this. Okay. If you're friends with your neighbors, like I was, I was walking, I was out walking in my neighborhood and my wife's like, ah, we got to go to the store. We got to get a clove of garlic. I'm like, no, we don't. I text my cross street neighbor. I said, Leslie, who I love so much. Do you have a clove of garlic? She brought it by our house. I'm like, that is what being nice to your neighbor, your community this guy isn't nice to his neighbor if someone asked me hey do you have an extra light bulb i don't want to go i'm at their house damn light bulbs all right last couple i've got to vote for uh jam floyd of the year and a headline um melissa carone giuliani's star witness in the trump campaign's election case who her fiancé's ex-wife by sending her sex tapes.

Oh, harassed her. Dan, get on this. If you can get on this, because this would be really fun to do on a Dumb People Town coming up. That's a great idea. Yeah, she's crazy. She's nuts. I thought Cecily Strong did her so right. You know who did a great job of her? A great job

of her and who I really want to get on a live Dumb People Town is Amy Schumer. Schumer did great. Let's reach out to her. Let's see if we can get her on. She'd be great. This year in South Dakota, a lady got bucked by a buffalo and her pants got ripped off because she tried to get too close to it. One time camping when I was a kid, we saw a family from Indiana set their child on the back of a buffalo to take a picture. And so I just take comfort in the fact that someone has a picture of them sitting on a buffalo, and they surprisingly survived. So that's my history of South Dakota buffalo stories. That is like, now I realize there's nothing we can do

that would screw up. Anyone can become a parent, right, Dan? Yeah, yeah. All you gotta do is leave it in. Or leave it on the Buffalo. Just put that up on the Buffalo. Hey, put the baby on the Buffalo so I can take this damn picture.

And get away from it. I don't want you in the picture. Hurry up and put the baby on the buffalo. Dan, to put the baby on the buffalo on this one, that can become a phrase. That's a phrase. That's doing something. It's when you're about to say something that you feel could go really wrong, but you are 100% convinced you have to do it.

Guys, I don't want to put the baby on the buffalo on this one, but I think Giuliani's doing a great job. What? I'm going to tell you guys right now. I'm going to make it guys i don't want to put the baby on the buffalo on this one but i think giuliani's doing a great job what i'm gonna tell you guys right now i'm gonna make it my goal this saturday night for our live dump people tom food tickets left i'm gonna try and work put the baby on the buffalo into the conversation and neither one of you you can laugh you can react however you want but you cannot explain to dave gareth, or Matt Lethal what I just did. We just have to rule. Dan, I think you're –

That's like common nomenclature. Dan, your decision to do this and put the baby – use the phrase put the baby – is literally putting the baby on the buffalo. And it's this generation's put the line in the code. Hey, what up? What up, you guys? I've been listening. Good show. It's a good show.

Listen, how about a trail for trail? I got a show starting at 3 p.m. Central Time. It's going to go all the way until 6 p.m. Central Time. We're talking about the Trump win. We're talking about is God real? We're talking about a couple other things listen it's gonna be a good show hope to see you guys there man dan thanks brother dan you dan you dan you laugh like that pastor who was like when like they buy one and the guy like ha ha ha that guy's crazy

nuts all right we have any more? A couple more. Let's try and get through. Let's try and get through here. I don't know if we're going to get to all of them, which means you've got to come back and listen to us next Tuesday, dang it. Hey, guys. Yes, just to clarify, both the mule and the occupants of the car were fine. The car, not so much.

Oh, God. Makes sense. Thank you for that follow. I love you, bro. I love you, man. I've been following Jeremiah for a hot minute. That dude is a legend.

I used to see him at the comedy store all the time. That guy is amazing. I love everything about him. Indeed. We're with you, Texas Gunner. Thank you. We're rolling through these fast. Here we go. I love you. We're rolling through these fast. Here we go. Hey, bro.

I love you. I love you all. I love you too, man. Yeah, before you guys go, I just want to say, Sklar Bros, love watching you guys on Grey's Anatomy. That was cool. I want to ask Daniel if you and Rory are going to do this app at any point. And that's about it. Sorry about the noise.

I work in a machine shop. Oh, thanks for listening. And he's in a machine shop. Oh, thanks for listening. And he's in a machine shop. Dan, are you and Rory maybe going to do this at some point? You guys could have a conversation. Yeah, we'd definitely be down to it. But I mean, also, like, I mean, you guys were pretty good on Grey's Anatomy. But that is where I did my first ever background work.

And I feel like I don't get enough credit for playing an orderly whose arm you could see twice in one episode. Yes. And i thought it was weird that you were the one who got into isaiah washington's face and i've had enough because i've had enough and you're you've always you've always had the right you've been on the right side of history all right a couple more we'll get a couple more for another minute or two and then that's it all right here we go what's up you guys it is uh davey fritas here uh also known as tell me a joke previously known as davey fritos previously known as it's your boy dave previously known as uh the impersonator chris walken previously known as nicholas cage uh also

impersonator uh so good to listen to you guys uh, very good to hear about all the stuff you guys are talking about. Comedy shows, comedy, Tony Henchcliffe. I was fortunate enough to go up on Ventura, the Ventura, California, Tony Henchcliffe show. I think of which Jeremiah Watkins murdered it. Just totally crushed. Anyway, if I'm wrong about that, I'm sorry. You're it. Just totally crushed. Anyway, if I'm wrong about that, I'm sorry.

Over and out. This is Davey Freitas, previously known as Tell Me A Joke. Previously known as Chris Walken. Previously known as. Let's get to one more. I'm sorry. There'll be some that we'll miss on this one, but that's the thing. Get in on this early next Tuesday at 12 p.m. Pacific.

You got to come listen to us. We're doing, we'll dial this up again. We love doing this. It's very fun for us. And it's really cool to connect with you guys on the stereo app. Man, I love this. It's really cool to connect with you guys on the Stereo app. Man, I love this.

This is unlike anything else we do, and it's its own form of a show that you can't find anywhere except on the Stereo app. Last one. Let's listen to it. All right, maybe it'll be the second to last one. What's up, man? Follow me, bro. I'm winning. I love it.

King of Stereo. We'll do one more. We will follow you. Hey, bro. I'm winning. I love it. King of Stereo. We'll do one more. We will follow you. Hey, guys. I found out that my parents are into edibles while I was visiting them for Thanksgiving. Now I asked them if they wanted to do some with me, and they said no. Should I be ashamed, or does it make

sense not to do edibles with family members for the first time while celebrating a holiday? Yeah, well, Thanksgiving, I mean, I guess, Dan, what do you think about that? I love that he's like, do you guys want to do edibles? And they're like, no. And then he looked for his edibles and they were gone. Yeah, for sure. Why'd they have to say bitch at the end?

That felt like a weird thing to say to their own son. That's kind of... Thank you for being honest on this. Thanks for opening up about that. I don't think you want to go down that road with your parents. Right? Your parents... No, no, no. At least not on a holiday.

Not on a holiday. I mean, look, I'll give you some holidays... Unless you... I guarantee you, Jay, there are people saying to us, like, oh, I do edibles with my parents all the time. Then you should. But if you don't know how it's going to go, and you're already having a fine Thanksgiving, and they don't want to do them with you, I just say, cool, maybe we'll do this on a Tuesday in a year. Right.

So here's the deal. We'll end on this. Obviously, Thanksgiving is a big holiday. I wouldn't do it on that. I wouldn't do it on Christmas either. But here are some acceptable holidays to try edibles for the first time with your parents when you may or may not know if it's going to go well. Arbor Day. Arbor Day.

100% Arbor Day. Labor Day. Columbus Day. Right. Talk Like a Pirate Day. National Jump in a Lake Day on August 5th. Flag Day. Valentine's Day. I would not do it on martin luther king day um i would not do it on veterans day not on veterans day and not on memorial day um but i would say the hebrew the jewish holiday of tubish vod tubish vod and passover those are

your best options don't do it on easter because if you have edibles and you got chocolate bunnies and things going around the yard, someone's going to get something in their basket that they didn't want. Right. All right. That's a show. Dumb People Town Conversation. Dan Van Kirk.

Let's do this again next Tuesday, 12 p.m. Pacific, 3 p.m. East Coast, 8 p.m. Ireland. Time for Sarah Dunn. Thanks, bud. We're out. Oh, shit. We got to get back to work. Stick around. Make a sound.

Come here down. It's Dumb People Town.