Dumb People Town - Drew Lynch - Its My Birthday

Episode Date: December 24, 2021

This week Drew Lynch comes to town to hang with Daniel, Jason and Randy. This week's story is about a situation with a crocodile.

Skypains, out of here. Hey townies, welcome to a Friday episode of Dumb People Town. Population U! Population Lynchch drew lynch welcome to the show buddy how are you good good i i love you guys so much man every time you guys are uh performing together i will i will stop whatever set i have in in to get to to watch you guys dude you're the best thank you and i'm so proud of you and psyched about your special. We'll talk about that later. I mean, for the three of us, Dan obviously is an accomplished comedian as well, as well as us.

Like we, and you are too, we all kind of understand what the world has been through with, in terms of like comedy taking, like coming back, starting to come back now. So us starting to be able to do it live. I think we're all, I mean, we talk to Dan about this all the time, right, Dan? Like how much we appreciate getting to do it again in front of people. Oh, yeah, man.

I was just in Houston and it was like, oh, there's all these people here. Oh, there's people. And we get to do a show again and like goof around and not really worry about it too just because they have so many good procedures so that it's not a thing anybody has to stress about but to just have fun and then also get to a point where you're starting to feel like oh maybe i can i don't even need to mention the past year and a half like we're kind of coming out of that phase too where it's like no don't even who cares what anybody did let's just talk about what we're doing you know so yeah well i don't i

mean i don't i don't know that texas ever got covid no that's my joke too i was like i have that joke that I was like, I mean, we shut down for all the time and you guys didn't, but the rest of the country shut down. Yeah. Dan, last night we were on stage here in Tempe. Oh yeah, for sure.

And I said at the end, I'm like, and I want to get serious for a minute here. I just want to thank you guys for coming out and how special it is that we all can just be here in the same room giving each other covid just being in a special i loved it great yeah it's the best yeah arizona they don't uh they didn't really give a shit either i i i did i did arizona and uh i did arizona i think fe, February of this year, and that was right around another wave of it, and they didn't care. So it's like the pandemic never happened, nor did the election.

It's fun. Arizona's a choose-your-own-adventure book. You just flip to whatever page you want the next chapter to be. We are swimming in dumb behavior, and it feels like it's getting dumber by the minute. And so, Drew, our awesome fans send us stories in. You go to tweet at Daniel Van Kirk and hashtag Dumb People Town,

and that's how the stories get sent. And he knows the order that they're being sent in. We have a great story that we want to get into with you today, and then later we'll let people know how they can see your special and all that great stuff. So, Dan, take it away. All right, this was sent in. This doesn't normally happen.

This was sent in, and I went past it because it was a bad article. Then it was sent in again, and I opened it, and it was a good version of that article. So I'm giving the first person who sent it in and the person who sent it to me when I read it. It's an assist, a double assist. So this would be from Nate B. at 36833 Brewer, common spelling, and our old friend N. jumpman at nes jump

up in madison i love that guy isn't jump man the original name for mario in donkey kong like that was his name he was jump man and that's that i think right arisem michael jordan logo right well that's the other thing too yeah maybe i, maybe I'm conflating two things. All right, here we go. Ready? Yeah. Great headline. Tourist in Philippines attacked by crocodile he thought was a fake.

So this guy, obviously we'll get into details, but Broadstruck gets extremely close to what he thinks is a statue or figurine of a crocodile. It's like in The Great Outdoors when they take a picture with the old guy. And John Candy's like, girls, give him a kiss. Give him a kiss. It's his brain. He's 98.

And the owner of the restaurant's like, he died on the way over here. We're waiting for the morgue to come pick him up. Drew, have you ever done comedy in the Philippines or no? Yeah, it's almost all the time. That's almost where I am always. It's a good circuit they have there. Yeah, you got to get up in the Philippines. In the Manila.

Good open mics. They have good open mics. Great open mics in Manila, you guys. We did ours in a shoe closet down in Imelda marcos's house no but i i do think that if the place like the philippines is like it's like weirdly they probably have like a bunch of stores that we recognize there's probably like a prada and a fendi and a bunch of stores like that and then there's also like crocodiles in the street like some weird thing that you're like wait how is that possible that's how this happened i have a i have a friend who's uh he's from the he's from the philippines and he says

that you know uh if people want to like go somewhere like uh they will just attach themselves to like your car like they'll take like a they just they get on your car and then like back to the future style yeah like yeah like Back to the Future style. Yeah, just on the back. Because a lot of the cabs, they're like open... They're not Jeeps, but they're like open trucks. People just kind of grab on the

back and if you're headed in a general direction, they will go with you. Honey, why are we going so much slower today? Oh, there's eight people attached to our bumper. We have a lot of hop-ons. It's like the Bluth. It's like the Bluth.

Dan, the rollerblade business in the Philippines is just off the charts. Yeah, dude. Off the charts. They're doing gang butt. When was the last time you saw someone wearing rollerblades? It's been a minute. Our friend Nicole Byer is crushing the rollerblade game recently. In skates all right here

we go a tourist in philippines is lucky in the philippines is lucky to be alive after he was attacked by a crocodile he mistook for a plastic figurine that he thought he could take selfies with so it's also that layer of it too like how many times is he like it's fine they want you to take pictures with it why would they put this statue here because you know alligators crocodiles do that thing where they just like lay and their mouth is partly open and they will go for hours without moving? Well, this guy didn't verify any of that. Nehemias Chapada was visiting the Amaya View Amusement Park in the Philippines on the island of Mindanao. Yeah, Mindanao.

philippines on the island of mindano mindano mindano uh mr chapada had been visiting with the amusement park to celebrate his birthday but his day took a turn for the worst when he spotted the crocodile i also want to tell you guys i've done this at theme parks my friends and i used to do this in high school you know sometimes like to connect one area of the theme park to another there'll be like a little bridge yes and they have something over we would like stop at the bridge and act as though we were waiting for something to happen and you can get so many other people to start waiting now you've got 50 people waiting for a performance or for the bridge to go up yes you don't even have to say what it is you just be like it's gonna it's like only it's like one more minute it's supposed to happen. They said it was going to start.

If you just say they said it was going to start soon. Yeah. So this guy's there. Believing the crocodile was simply a life-size model, the man climbed into its pool. That's the thing, guys. It's in an enclosure. But he was like, oh, that's cool.

They really made this look real by putting it in an enclosure. Dan, I felt sorry for him until you started. Right, Drew? This is all on him, 100%, correct? Yeah, yeah. I was ready to blame him, and then I wasn't, and now I'm back to blaming him. Yeah. He climbed into its pool and pulled out his phone to take a selfie with the how many feet long animal so okay

how big of a crocodile are we talking is a crocodile right yeah yeah did he think this figurine was yes so what do you think that he said oh this is fake he didn't care how big it was how big drew you're a guest you can go first oh shit man i mean if i'm gonna if i'm gonna put myself there it's not gonna i'm not first of all why why does this guy want a selfie with a crocodile anyway who's he gonna show drew who's he gonna show that to that's gonna be like this is cool because in his mind it is just a plastic crocodile at best it's a crocodile that's it that's the best right the best that people see is is it's a crocodile i would also say like let respect your shoes enough to not get wet that's like care enough about your belongings like you're like i'll get in the pool for this i wouldn't climb yeah you could you climb into a pool for a fake one yeah no yeah so i'm gonna say uh i'm gonna say uh eight feet

eight feet that's a good guess that's a good guess jay what do you think i'm gonna say six feet six feet i think like 11 feet like this thing's gonna just seem like a dinosaur so he thought you're saying he thought it was a huge figurine, and he was like, okay. I'm going to get in here, and I'm going to pretend. I'm going to tell people that it was real. Because that's his brain. He's positioning his phone so that he can make it look as real as possible. That's right.

I mean, it's not fair. It's not fair. Most of the crocodile is its tail. You know what I mean? That's true. Whatever management we're going for, you're looking at like a third of it is its body and torso. It's like when people say the CN Tower in Toronto is like the tallest building ever. You're like, yeah, well, the spire is like three-fourths of it.

But whatever. We're going to take a quick break. When we come back, we'll find out how long this crocodile is that this guy tried to take himself. Well, maybe he did get the picture off. Who knows? We'll find out how long this crocodile is that this guy tried to take himself well maybe he did get the picture off who knows we'll find out how long but before we do that when we come back we will talk about what we're up to we'll talk about drew's up to and how you can get a hold of everything that he's doing we'll be right back after this stick around hey guys welcome back to the show. Drew, tell people about your awesome special,

how they can watch it and how they can support you, follow you. Well, it's, and a little bit about the story behind it. So the title of it is Compust and it's just, it's fascinating. And I'll, I want to hear about it, but then I'll tell you more. How you got Will Smith to play you yeah amazing yeah man in the in between king henry and this like i'm glad he made time for it all but you're worth it dude you're worth it and the nfl didn't want you to put this thing out is what roger goodell was like no no way is this special coming out on youtube no way it's a blatant hour-long taunt yeah dude it's a flex it's a flex it's definitely a flex um yeah sure it's i uh it's called it's

called concussed i mean i've been i've been doing comedy for for 10 years but i didn't i didn't you know i didn't i didn't want to do comedy ever i moved out here after high school to do uh to do acting and stuff like that so um i i was on a i was working at a comedy club at the time and they had a they had a softball team that they you know invited me on and i i had played and one day, uh, I had gotten hit in the throat with a grounder and I had fallen and hit my head. I had a concussion from it and no one really, you know, no one really thought like anything of it, but you know, I went home and try to like sleep it off. The next day I woke up and I was, uh, I lost a lot of the functionality of my motor skills, uh, because I

had a, I had a concussion that I went to sleep on and a vocal contusion and so it's been like it's been it's been it's been like 10 years of me you know going to like PT and and speech and and and just trying to like just trying to rehabilitate from from from that but you know getting into comedy was just because you know it, it was it was it was it was such an apparent thing that I was dealing with, such an issue, such a, you know, like an emotional blow for what I thought my trajectory would be out here. And and then, you know, I mean, I'm sure you got I mean, everybody here knows, you know, like, you know, comedy is so much fun. But, you know, there's times where it's just, you know, you you're you're using it to try and like uh work through something yeah work through something so so you know that's kind of that's kind of where the the title concussed came from and i think the first you know the first few minutes of the of of the the first

few minutes of the show is you know just like any show for me where it's just kind of addressing my speech and then just just moving on from from that to talk about you know all the other shit especially after the year we've had you know it's kind of like we've had this universal experience that i think is all worth uh weighing in on and kind of like what dan was saying where you know we're getting to the place where right we're just at the we're just almost out of the woods where we're hopefully done like you know mentioning it with you know all this shit yeah yeah but you but you you yeah first of all let me just say i think it is insanely awesome and and i'll say brave to to step into the ring with all that you have dealt with from everything from speech and you know it is common jay and i are on stage and and a lot of our stuff is timing based a lot of it is like you got to focus on us.

So we're doing a show in Phoenix last night and the audience on a late night show, as you guys, many of you have done. They're really drunk and talking, talking and boisterous. And Jay and I are doing these like intricate bits that require a lot of people to like them to focus on what we're doing. And it's like so much of it is if you stumble at all in what you're saying and how you're saying it, it can screw up the joke. It can screw up what it is. And so, you know, I thought about that a lot as I was watching your special and just how much

focus it must require for you to kind of do that and how you get through it. It's like an extra layer of stuff that most people don't have to go through. It just made it all the more impressive, you know, because you get into it and into any watch and you're like, oh, this is just a great comedy special period. But then you kind of step outside of it. You're like, wow, the amount of things that he has to do to get it to this place. It's just it was super impressive for me. And I'm just going to recommend that everybody check it out. Concuss.

Thanks, man. Thank you. Yeah, I appreciate that. I feel like I feel like the I was thankful for it when it happened just because, you know, word economy, I think, is just so important. And earlier on, when you're dealing with whatever the attention spans of something, you know, that every single word I feel like matters. So that's kind of what it in inherently was teaching me when I teaching me when I was just starting out. Hell yes. So people can watch it on YouTube, am I right? Yes, yes.

That's where it is. It's just free on YouTube. Yeah, so look up Concuss Drew Lynch. View it. Leave a comment. Follow him, by the way. He puts clips up on all social. We get it.

What's your handle, Drew? The Drew Lynch. I didn't want that to yeah someone took drew lynch so i was just like the drew lynch yeah people people can go to your website and follow follow you for all your philippines dates and other places as well okay yeah all your manila performances i mean there's so many there's so many i don't post all of them on my site yeah why would you want to it gets washed out so many. I don't post all of them on my site. Yeah, why would you want to? It gets washed out. Yeah, so many, dude. Daniel Van Kirk's got some great stuff coming up at DanielVanKirk.com. Tour starts back up in March. Yep.

I think we'll be on the East Coast, I think. Love it. Yeah, to start out. Where do you go on the East Coast, Dan? I'll be there in March, and I think we're doing Philly. I don't know if it's Phillyilly boston oosta uh new york or if it's going to be like rochester buffalo albany uh new york because we'll end up doing it in two runs but one of those runs is going to happen i think the second week of march and a lot of these are

like 100 seat theaters so like grab or less some oh yeah grab your tickets because it's going to sell out. Some are seven. There's seven seats. We actually rented a room at a library. We have a small little meeting room. A booth at a diner and Dan's just going to crush it. Yeah, they tend to sell out. So as soon as that goes up, make sure that you get your tickets. And if there's anybody who had tickets for stuff from the tour

before, those will all be honored. We'll make sure we get that figured out. And for us, we've got a couple things. We're going to be in Denver at Comedy Works the 13th through the tour before. Those will all be honored. We'll make sure we get that figured out. And for us, we've got a couple things. We're going to be in Denver at Comedy Works the 13th through the 16th. We will have just turned 50 years old on January 12th. You may give us a virtual hug or a fist pound or something. We're so excited to get back to

just one of our favorite clubs in the world, Comedy Works downtown Larimer Square. We'll be in D.C. in February. Hilarities in Cleveland in March. We'll be back up at the Moon Tower Comedy Festival in April. That's not announced yet, but it will be. I think it is now. Is it announced? Okay. Well, no, I mean, you just

announced it. I just announced it, so that's happening. They haven't even offered it yet. Yeah, we have the lineup. We're trying to manifest it. Are we manifesting it, Drew? We're putting it out into the universe like it's going to happen. And then the Cro crocodile in seattle in in may and well it's actually a fake crocodile and then it turns out there's a real one way to bring it back way to bring it back so we're bringing it back then so how long is this damn thing okay what were the

guesses that you guys said so i said drew said eight feet randy said 11. I said six. Okay. Also, we should note that this show is also happening on Zoom with some of our Patreon listeners. So if you want to ever join for a free show like this and you just hang out, it's a bonus. It's one of the tiers of getting to be a Patreon member. All right. Here we go. Ready? Yes. I see guesses of seven and eight feet in the chat.

Okay. Good. Good. seven and eight feet in the chat. Okay, good, good. The length of this crocodile that the guy thought was fake climbed into a pool. Before you give it, is it going to piss us off when we find out how long it is?

Like if it's really short, is it going to shock us? I don't know. Or is it going to make us absolve him? I don't want to say. Okay, go ahead. He thought it was fake. He climbed into a pool to take a selfie with it. And remember, this is on his birthday.

Yeah. He, the crocodile is 13 feet long. Oh! Damn. Dude. Dude. That is enormous. Even if it is nine feet of tail, it's still great.

Video. Go ahead. What are you guys gonna say and so but okay andrew you know this and and dan you know this from doing live shows like when there is a disturbance at a live show and people are talking usually you'll see those people outside and they're stumbling around drunk and someone the loudest person will be like we're like why were you talking to our show it's her birthday right it's her birthday why are you climbing into a pool with a crocodile it's my birthday it's my birthday like they're fine they want me to they want me to i'm helping the park i'm helping the theme park by getting in i'm helping the park no you're not why are you climbing over a fence?

I just did a set. At all. I just did a set recently, and it was like a group of seven, and one woman specifically had to be kicked out. Yeah. And she was the only one really talking, so they kick her out. I could go on and on about how wild this is, but one short part of it. They get outside with the owner, and a guy then starts confronting the owner,

and he goes, I was talking too. He's just like taking on some of the blank. And the owner's like, no, you weren't. You didn't say a word. He's like, no. And then he goes, well, whatever. We were contributing. And it's like, you weren't.

You weren't actually, to what I said ago, technically, they were contributing. That doesn't mean it was good. In a negative way. They were contributing to the experience of the show. Dan, last night there was a guy who was so loud in our show we came out and he was in a this he kept standing up and talking to us in the show he was so drunk and he was in like a christmas sweater with like a

stocking taped on it so so so he comes up and he's like standing around wanting a picture afterwards and i was like hey man you're gonna buy a sweatshirt and he was like what and he's like standing around wanting a picture afterwards. And I was like, hey, man, you're going to buy a sweatshirt. And he was like, what? And I'm like, you're going to buy a sweatshirt. Give us your credit card. Give me your credit card because you're buying a sweatshirt. He's like, why? And I'm like, because you owe us.

So come on, you're going to buy a sweatshirt. And I swipe his card through. This is so. And I actually am. This is during the show? No, no. This is after the show. He had already screwed it up so bad.

I wish you had done this whole transaction. I don't say it. He didn't grab the credit card during the show? No, no. This is after the show. He had already screwed it up so bad. I wish you had done this whole transaction. I don't say it. He even grabbed a credit card during the show. During the show. I drew it. I drew the best. So after the show, I swipe his card through, and I'm not paying attention to the numbers I'm putting in for a sweatshirt,

and I accidentally charged him $247 for a sweatshirt. But no. And then his card keeps getting declined. But no. So then it goes, and then his card keeps getting declined. And then finally he puts money on the card and comes back and brings it through. I'm not paying attention. Later, Randy's like, how much did you make on that show?

And I was like, $290? How did I make all that? And I look at the transaction, it says $247. And then I'm like, oh my god. I overcharged this guy this thing. He's so drunk. He's not going to know. He ruined my show.

I probably should charge him that amount of money. Right, but you can't. And he's gone. And so I'm like, this is the type of guy that would step in and be like, I'm going to get a picture with that 13-foot alligator. That's how drunk he was. That's how drunk he was. And I said, well, I could cancel the sale,

but then he walks away with my sweatshirt, and we're out 40 bucks, and I don't want to do that either. So I don't do anything, and I ask a bunch of people, and they're like, just charge him. He's an asshole. Whatever.

Everyone's like, just charge him. Just charge him. We walk across the street to a bar after the show. Tell me he's there. Tell me he's there. Called Devil's Advocate. That's the name of the bar. Devil's Advocate.

Stop. We'll talk about that a different day by the way i had and i said what are what is the opposite view of us going to this yeah maybe we shouldn't i just want to just put it out there i'm just putting it out there i just want to say if we didn't go to this bar what it was we walk in and who's like almost passing out on his phone at the table is this guy this guy so i'm like you know what i'm gonna do the right thing yes he says this at our table and everyone on our table is like don't no so i'm like you know what i'm gonna do the right thing yes he says this at our table and everyone on our table is like don't no so i go over to him and i'm you know me and

i'm with you doing this right and as dan is on my shoulder saying do this and so i because dan is like a good spirit so i go over to this guy and i'm like dude he's like hey man i'm like let me let me it's my turn to talk shut up'm like, I need to recharge your credit card because we overcharged you for the sweat. He's like, what? And I'm like, I charged you $247 for that sweat. Why, what, why? I'm like, I'm fixing it right now.

So I go to fix it. I cancel the other sale. I go to charge again. He's like, why would you charge me $247? I'm like, i think what you're trying to say is thank you for fixing this right now right and thank you for being honest to me because my god you're this you are in a curb your enthusiasm episode dan i was like and i said you're making me not want to fix this i'm going to charge you a thousand dollars you don't shut the fuck up

and let me do this and so i fixed it and charged him $40. I walked back to the table, and I've never regretted something more. You did it right. You did it right, Jay. To this day, Dan, I regret doing the right thing. It's only been a day. But you did it right. Yeah. I mean, he gave you so many opportunities for you to keep $200.

That's right. That's right. I was in San Antonio once, and this guy was so drunk. And that was back we just had people venmo and and he was like well i'm just what if i just gave you a thousand dollars and i was like don't do that he's like i'll just give you a thousand i'll give you a thousand dollars i was like don't please don't want you then you i don't want to be beholden i don't want to be beholden to you in any way shape or right oh my god you did the right thing

i don't like it and drew i don't know if you're this way i don't like when people like let me buy you a drink i'm like the club gets this take that money and buy my merch take that we're not we're not friends just because you got eight dollars that you want to pay for a tequila right because it's usually the drunkest person and it's usually the crazy person who talked to you said anyway that was plenty of people we love hanging out with after shows yeah yeah that's true there's not the yeah i ruined the show yeah yeah but not during yeah the people the people it's it is it is nine times out of ten every person who is vocal during the show they'll they'll talk to you afterwards like we did it like we we did it guys that was what we made it

you see what we did up there you're like i'm not a duo with you that's what you and dan say and we're like we're not a sketch group i always wonder if those people before they leave before they leave the house i always wonder if those people are like i'm nervous for the show tonight i just don't know like what are they gonna say that i'm gonna jump in on like i don't i just hope we do good a lot of pressure on me it's so tough to write a set list in between the headliners. It's a set list. It's really hard.

I hope at some point they bring up cotton candy because I have a cotton candy bit. I have a chunk. I have a chunk. Alright, back to this. Video taken by Horrified Onlookers showed the moment Mr. Chapada stretched his arm out with his phone moments before the crocodile lunged at his other arm and dragged him into the water. Oh, my God.

You say you can just take hot sauce when you go to a Chapada restaurant? Yes, of course you do. You can take as much. That's Chipotle. Both are true. Both are true. The footage showed Mr. Chapada screaming for help as the crocodile attempted to drag him under the water and start a death roll the usual way the reptile kills its prey. Yeah. Mr. Chapada managed to break away, fleeing the pool with blood dripping from his left arm.

Chapada was taken to the northern, what did you say, Mindanao? Mindanao? Medical center. Dan, as he's bleeding and running away, everyone's like, happy birthday. Worst birthday ever. He got taken with puncture wounds and fractures to his arm and thigh. Staff at the park desperately worked to stop the bleeding, and it was later revealed that an 8-centimeter crocodile tooth had become lodged in his arm.

That's a grip. This is what you get. This is what you get for climbing over the fence. You do not climb over. This is it. Following the horrific incident, Mr. Chapada's family have turned the blame on the park. No. Claiming there was no signs of about the deadly animal.

There were no advisories warning us not to enter the enclosure because if there were, we would never have gone there. So you needed to be told, don't go get in the water and don't climb over this. It's ridiculous. Nobody wants the blame. I have a photo to show you guys and people with us. It is not graphic, but you can see how much, like you can obviously tell. Is it the selfie? I want it to be the selfie so badly.

Okay, so badly. Okay. So look at this. So you can see in the top, right? There's obviously barricades that he had to climb over. Right. And then in the bottom left was somebody getting into the, to the enclosure to come help him.

He is in the pool with the animal. Also looking at this animal, which is gorgeous and a beautiful beast that should be left in the wild. This always bums me out seeing them living like this. Yeah. There is a very fake turtle. That's obvious. That's fake.

We can tell. Right. Yeah. But this is what it looked like when that crocodile. Dude, that wouldn't even be a good presentation for a figurine of any animal. No. Let alone a crocodile at a crocodile amusement park. Insane.

Roger Pamizda Ant antigua the tourists who filmed the insane video said he could only watch in horror well yeah that's why you filmed it i was looking at the lovely scenery around the park when the incident happened i heard people screaming for help and saw the crocodile man handling crocodile handling yeah the man i thought it would bite off his arm i wanted to help him but i was scared and had no knowledge of how to deal with a crocodile attack. I love that this guy's getting all these qualifiers for a while. He did not. He's like, I wanted to help him, but I had a really good angle on it.

And I didn't want to hit him. You know how many people were watching live on my feed? Yeah, exactly. I flipped on Instagram. I was just thinking the views and the hits. If it's going to get a lot of hits, then I really can't get in there. It's like, was it Bad Trip? Was that Eric Andre's movie where he climbs into the gorilla enclosure and it starts raping him and and all those people they

just go stop stop nobody i don't blame people for getting in there i don't blame them at all um the amusement park has hit back at suggestions it was that they were at fault for the attack but did agree to pay for Mr. Chapada's hospital costs, which I think is very nice of them. They're like, this is 100% your fault but we will pay for it. If I was a family or that guy, I'd be like, okay, fair. We deny the allegation

that we have been negligent, said the CEO. They said they thought the crocodile was also artificial, but the area is actually restricted, as you can see in that photo that we showed. It'll be up on all our social medias. There are signages and constant reminders from our tour guides. We will get out of here on this.

How old is Nehemias Chapada? It was his birthday, so how old did he turn this day? You got to see a quick, kind of shaky photo of him. Drew, you can go first. You can go Tig, which is second. You can go last if you want.

You pick. Whatever you're feeling. I get to pick if I go first or last? Yeah, if you want. I'm going to go last. I'm going first. Jay, what do you think? I think he's...

It's his birthday. He climbs into an enclosure, gets in the water, wants to take a selfie. What does that tell you? I think he's 36. 36 years old from Jason's birth. I think he's 36. 36 years old from Jason Sparks. I think he's 27. 27 years old.

Drew Lynch. We were blown away by the length of the Crocs, so I feel like they want you to think this is the negligence of someone younger. I think this is... An old guy. I think this is... I think 40...

I'm just going to take the over. I think this is 50. I think 40. I'm going to go. I'm just going to go though. I'm just going to take the over. I'll take 45. 45. All right. Okay. We will leave it here. Go watch Drew's special on YouTube.

Follow the Drew Lynch so you can keep up to date with that. What's the website too? DrewLynch.com. Okay. Awesome. DrewLynch.com. DanielVanCurick.com for me. Super Sklars for everything

that the Sklars have going on. I hope someday you come out to LA if you're not already here and see all of us together on stage. That would be a lot of fun. Here we go. Ready?

Yep. Mr. Chapada, the birthday boy with a bloody arm is 68 years old. Drew! Drew! You were right. You were on the right path. You got to price his right in, man. 68. Drew! Drew, you were right. You were on the right path. You gotta price his right, man.

68. One of our Patreon's guests in the 60s. You gotta give that to us. Oh, my God. Give it to our Patreon fans. Thank you to all of our Patreon fans who are watching this live. We'll do a little quick dumb story with Drew.

We'll do a dumb story with Drew for Patreon fans as well, so join the Patreon, and we love you guys so much, and oh, shit, we gotta get back to work stick around make a sound talk it down, it's Dumb People Town.