Dumb People Town - Francisco Ramos - Sappy leafs Fan

Episode Date: October 1, 2021

This week Francisco Ramos comes to town to hang with Daniel, Jason and Randy. This week's story is about a frozen donut.

Skypains, out of here. Hey townies, welcome to a Friday episode of Dumb People Town. Population U. Population Ramos. Francisco Ramos. Yes. Welcome to town. Thank you for joining me in town. Joining you. No, not joining. I'm coming to the town.

I'm welcome to the town. You are welcome. Sometimes I feel like I'm always in a dumb town. We all live in stupidity at times. All the time. I always feel like, you know, and sometimes as a comic, you like, should I say something or is this just me being a comic

but then people are just too dumb. So here's the way I describe all comedians how they go through life. Okay? We are all like, I either want this experience

to be great so I have a great life experience or I want it to be terrible. So we have a bit. So we have a bit. Of course. So you have a bit. Like the worst it is.

Like if it's starting to get bad you're always like, please can you just go into the toilet. Does that happen with kids too course you have a bit like the worst it is like if it's starting to get bad you're always like please can you just go into the does that happen with kids too like do you want like the worst kid to be like i want you to be terrible don't just be annoying have a meltdown yes like i wanted the meltdown in the middle of costco i want shit to be i don't want just attitude let's start throwing stuff let's get other people involved yes you want it to go sideways so that you so we believe that the world is getting dumber. We just think it's continuing. Do you believe that too?

I think my thing is like I feel like we're not advancing as human beings. We're just technology is advancing. So now we can see how dumber we are. Right. And quicker. It shines a bigger light on how dumb we are. Yes. And it gets us that information faster than we need it.

Yeah. So what happens is we have amazing fans and they send the stories to Dan and Dan kind of goes through them. We don't know what's going on. You don't know what's going on, but Dan's going to let us know and thank you to our great fans who send these to you. It's at DanielVanKirk on Twitter and

hashtag Dumb People Town and then he can know who sent it. Are you ready? Let's do it. Sent it by Catherine Tuck at Catherine Lorna. Love her. I know. She sends it some big stories. She sends in a lot. Oh, great. Here's the headline. London man selling old frozen donut. That's it.

Selling an old frozen donut. That's it? Yes. A London man. London, Ontario. Oh, from London. From London. Oh, okay.

Back when Mike D. Alessandro of London, Ontario, first thought about biting into a Tim Hortons jam-filled donut adorned with a blue and white Maple Leafs logo, he thought better of it. So he's like, I'm going to freeze it, and then I'm going to sell it. I'm going to ask you guys, what is your donut? I'll tell you. First of all, I could eat one every single day.

I mean, not like newsflash. Who couldn't? No. But I fight it. But if I can sometimes just get a standard old cake donut with chocolate frosting. Regular donut with chocolate frosting. That's good.

I like an unfrozen one. One that's fresh. Not unfrozen. Unfrozen. Yeah, I don't know. But no, usually I go for that one too, just a chocolate one, a normal one. This is like a Midwest thing.

A lot of people go to like pumpkin patches and stuff like that and hay rides and all those things. Yeah. And they'll do the cinnamon apple donuts. Okay, so now you're into my camp. That's where you're going? So Dunkin' Donuts has an apple fritter, which is like a fried. It's basically what you're describing right there. Is that considered a donut?

I'm not arguing. Yeah, that's a thing. I don't know. Is that a donut? I don't know if that's a donut I mean I like a look I like chocolate glaze where it's chocolate all the way through

and glazed on top I definitely like that but an apple fritter is my if you said there were 12 of them right here if I had to eat all 12 of them to save the life of my kids I'd be like thank you for giving me the greatest challenge

if you had to eat all 12 to just have a good day you'd still do it thank you for giving me the greatest challenge. If you had to eat all 12 to just have a good day, you'd still do it. Thank you for giving me the greatest challenge. Thank you for your service. I would do a chocolate on top of a donut with Boston cream in the middle. Is there a Venezuelan donut that is like a delicacy that you're like, okay. There's actually, yeah, there's something called like golfiado,

which means it's like a, it's not a donut. It's like, it's savory, it's sweet, but you put actually like a piece of cheese on top So it's like A combination of Wow I'm into this So you're like

Gulfiana So it's like Oh it's sweet And then you're like Oh it's salty What's going on It's like when they put bacon On a donut

In Portland they do it I'm gonna plug this hard Because it's worth it Michael Muser And Chef Duffy Have a restaurant In Chicago called Ever They used to have a restaurant in Chicago called Ever. They used to have a restaurant called Grace.

It was a three-star Michelin restaurant. Grace here in Los Angeles? In Chicago. So now they've opened Ever. It's a two-star Michelin restaurant. I guarantee you it's probably going to get a third. It's an amazing restaurant. If you're ever in Chicago or you're listening to me and you're going to go there or you

want a reason to go there, treat yourself to ever. Do they do their own donuts? They say to you, milk chocolate or dark chocolate, that's all we need to know for the dessert. Where would you go? Milk or dark? Dark. Dark all the way.

I go milk all the way. Too dark? I love that it was not even a question for either of you. It's a dish that either of you. Not even. No. So they bring out, it's a dish. Instead of a bowl, it kind of looks like a, it's sort of shaped like a bowl, but it's more of a divot than it is like a bowl shape. And the donut sits on top of it.

And then in the divot is warm either milk or hot chocolate. So you break it and eat it. And here's the thing. One of the best restaurants in the world. Literally, if you ever need a reason, I should post some of the pictures of when I went to Ever. Look it up, Jay. Next time you guys are in Chicago, I'll call Muse. And you guys can...

He will love it if you come there. I love it. One of the best meals you'll ever have in your life. But the thing is, I love about it is they were like, you know what? Yes, you can go get three dozen within two blocks of here but what if we just did a donut one donut perfect yes of course that's much that's dude that's what a mission is to play chicago right go to ever the fact that it's michelin so i love that you brought up portland and like blue star donuts and whatnot because they're blue stars here our bit about blue

star is that they were always out of whatever donut you wanted. So we would show up and got in line before they opened. As soon as they opened the doors, you're like, can I have that? We're out. We're out. Sorry. We watched you unlock the door. Sorry, we don't have any more. What do you have left?

We got this one that's basically garbage juice and baby hair. Do you guys want that? No, we don't want that. We have whale jizz and dolphin fins? No. We don't want that. We have whale jizz and like- Dolphin fins. No, we don't want it. I want maple glaze. We're out.

Sorry. Sorry, dude. We got busy this morning. I was the first person in your store. By the way, when I was single and I would invite a girl over to my apartment, I would say, milk or dark? Really? Yes.

I didn't have anything, but I- Oh, you just wanted to know. I was just saying, what do you like? I just wanted to get to know you. I just wanted to get an idea. I just wanted to get an idea. What do you like? When I did High Plains, Karen Mocktail, Karen Mocktail, who runs that festival

at the end of Cape Holland, she goes, hey, I just got done with a set. She was like, we're going to go to Voodoo Donuts. Do you want anything? And I was like, and I described the same donut. She was like, you mean an old-fashioned. And she showed me the picture of it. And I was like, but their old-fashioned at Voodoo Donuts doesn't look like what we're talking about.

Like a gas station drink? Like we're talking about. Yeah, I love that, too. Also good. And so I'm like, I just want – and she's like, they have these other donuts, but you want the old-fashioned. And so she goes. She's such a – that festival is so great.

She comes back with a sprinkle-like donut and then the old-fashioned with chocolate on it, and she goes, try this one first. And so I eat it. And then she goes, what do you want me to do with the other one? And I go, give it to somebody who doesn't deserve the one you just gave me. So good. Okay. One was so much better.

I know. By the way, Trejo's Donuts here in Los Angeles. Oh, how are they? Very good. Amazing. I have the tacos, but I haven't had the donuts. Those are good. Donuts are incredible.

Tim Hortons is a good donut, right? Yeah, it is. You freeze it for a rainy day. Okay, yeah, let's go back to that. Okay, so he has this Maple Leafs logo donut. He decides to jam-filled, decides to not eat it, thinks better of it, puts it in the freezer. Quote, it was an ex-girlfriend or someone that bought it for me,

which to me says it was definitely an ex-girlfriend. Of course it was. And as long as that donut still is alive. There's still hope. Yes. That's what it is. It's like you think there's a soprano. Yes. You know where he has the food

in the freezer because their wife died? Same thing. It's still alive. But he sold it to him. No, he wants to sell it. How old is this it. We'll get into that. Wait, how old is this donut? We'll get into that. We'll get into all of it.

Oh, God. Is it an ex-girlfriend or something, said D'Alessandro. Or something. An aircraft. He's an aircraft structural supervisor. I thought, oh, wow, this is a really nice donut. And I didn't want to destroy it right away. So I stuck it in the freezer.

Which, by the way, I can see how it went. You know, she's like, I'm leaving. I don't. It's like, you know what?'t it's like you know what no you're not taking everything when you're taking the freezer she's like this is why I'm leaving you stop in the freezer right you know what's while he likes I go he's like look he's like I thought I had pork chops in here and then he like comes across the door and he gets like hurts his heart he sees the donut and cinematically we see every memory that the two of them had together.

Like that cartoon movie, Ratatouille. That's it. Ratatouille. Yeah. Takes the bike, goes right back to being a child. Or it's like the first 20 minutes of Up. Did you guys save wedding cake? Yes, we did.

We did, and then- And it's gone, or do you keep saving it? Oh, we saved it, and then we ate it like a year later. Okay, that's as long as I have no idea. So it lasts that long? Oh, yeah. In the freezer? In the freezer, yeah, you can keep it? Oh, we saved it and we ate it like a year later. Okay, that's as long as you'll have no idea. So it lasts that long? Oh, yeah. In the freezer?

Yeah, you can keep it for a year. So good. It looks pretty still new, he said. It shrunk a little bit, but the sprinkles are still there. Don't oversell it there. Pretty still new. I'm going to show you guys a picture of the donut, and you're going to be like, I wouldn't think that that's been in a freezer for some amount of time.

That looks good. It looks pretty good. This is going to be on our Facebook page. Well, that's Photoshopped. Dude, he's not messing. I feel like freezer for some amount of time. Oh, shit. That looks good. It looks pretty good. This is going to be on our Facebook page. Well, that's Photoshopped. Dude. I feel like he put some filters in there. D'Alessandro is not messing around. Also, based on that picture, would you guys eat that donut?

Yes. If you deep thought it. If it was just sitting next to some apple fritters. Yes. If I didn't know that it was frozen, I would do it. It looks that good, which kind of scares me a little bit. Meanwhile, the Maple Leafs are like the most disappointing hockey team in the history of the relationship and they're most popular right they're very popular because of toronto if you've ever gone up and done jfl toronto or if you ever performed up there you

know our joke on stage when we were in montreal was we said the congratulations montreal canadians they were the last team to make it to a stanley cup finals and this gives hope for a city like toronto that someday they too can have a professional hockey team. That was our joke. Big laugh. Montreal loved it. Gotta give it to Toronto. The truth is every year Toronto Maple Leafs

fans go in with so much hope and they're completely disappointed. That's what I'm assuming the Maple Leaf donut is. I'm going to ask you guys. How long do you think the donut has sat in his freezer? The donut Assuming the maple leaf donut is. Okay. I'm going to ask you guys. How long do you think the donut has sat in his freezer? The donut has been in the freezer. How old is the guy? For how long?

Do we know? We're going to guess later. I'm sure. Wow. I mean, I'm breaking up. I mean, the guy's... I mean, I'm talking 20 years, 19. 19 years in the fridge.

I mean, if he says a year, it's like, who cares? But I mean, it's got to be, I mean, if it's somebody that's a press, in the press. If we're writing a news article about this thing, it's got to be something like that. So you said 19 years? Something like that, yeah. 1920. That's a swing. Let's say 19.

All right, I'm going to say three years. Three years. I'm going to say six months. Six months. Six months. Six months. Okay, we're going to take a break. When we come back back we will dig into

this and so much more we'll find out how long it's been in the freezer right after this hey guys welcome back to dumb people town uh franciscoamos. How can people follow you? They can follow me. I usually walk at 6 p.m. People can follow him across the street. But in social media, you can follow me at FRamosComedy on Instagram and TikTok and then Twitter, Francisco Ramos. I love your stand-up so much.

We were just at a wonderful party doing stand-up. This was so much fun. Here's who the comics were. It was Francisco, Aaron Foley, TJ Miller us and Jay Larson it was like such a joy to just hang

out all of us together it was just truly a sweet it's a good time yeah a good time but anyway I just love your stand up so much thank you man and you two guys are great the show that you did with your friend that we were going to do again, I really want to do it again, that you guys were doing it at the lab. And I was just watching the two of you guys bounce off each other.

And of course, in the most beautiful way ever, and I'm not saying this narcissistically, but it reminded me of us. That's awesome. And I'm like, I love the way these guys are bantering. I just love their interaction with each other. And you guys were not stepping on each other but both getting in so many jokes and it's such a skill that's great i mean that's i mean that's so much to hear because we didn't i mean we we don't have that much you guys don't do it together all the time that's right we do that show so it was you know you

could just tell you guys were really close and you're but that's the thing we're friends before we started the show so we kind of know each other. It was great. There was like this idea of like, we don't understand what's going on here in this country, but we're going to do it in our own ways, and this is how we do it. But it was just done in a very artful way. Is that show coming back at all? Well, my friend is moving to New York, so we're going to do the one last night.

But that was the last one, so we'll see if we hopefully can still do it. Connect up. Connect. Maybe he comes here to New York and we keep doing it. I just think great voice in comedy for our fans who don't know you. Please jump on this show. Follow him and go support him. Walk and follow him.

Walk and walk. Walk to the other side of the street. All right, so now when we left. Hey, Dan, anything? Oh, yeah, Dan, what's going on with you? To promote? Yeah, so the 27th, hopefully you guys will jump in. No pressure.

If you can't, not putting you on the spot. But the 27th is the next Halloween Go. So it's a bingo night. It's all on digital. It's just a great time to hang out. We've done it. I try and be funny, and so do the people who join me, like you guys. And we raise money for No Kill Animal Shelters, Big Brothers, Big Sisters, and Food Banks.

Plus, you can win prizes and money as well. So that's all at DanielVanCuric.com. And then I'm doing a couple of my movie nights for Halloween. We're doing Hocus Pocus, which I've seen many times. And Babadook, which I've never seen. Never seen Babadook. I know. I've never heard of him.

Never. Yeah? Yeah. Babadook's supposed to be very scary. All I know is like a shadowy figure and something under the bed. I think there's a kidadook. I know. I've never heard of him. Never. Yeah? Yeah. Babadook's supposed to be very scary. All I know is like a shadowy figure and something under the bed. I think there's a kid. I don't know. So there's that and then my trivia games.

And I think I might be having a couple of like one-off dates between now and the end of the year that I'll be announcing soon. But all that stuff is at DanielVanKirk.com. Love it. And we are going to be in Ann Arbor, Michigan at the Ann Arbor Comedy Showcase, which is a brilliant club. It is our second home. It's our home away from home because we went to college there. Sure.

And we're going to be there the Northwestern weekend, which is- October 22nd, 23rd. Right now, there are only three shows. They're one show on Friday and two on Saturday, and I think they're going to sell out. I bet they do. I think there's a good chance that they will. People should go to supersclars.com. Supersclars.com.

We have the ticket link or go to Ann Arbor Comedy. Showcase. Showcase. AAComedy.com. Nice. Just get tickets and come see the show. Our opening act is Zach Martina. He's freaking amazing.

He's so funny. He's been on the road with me on my tour. He is so funny and the whole show is great. It is a blast and for us to come home like that to that kind of space, it's almost like a different kind of energy. And we have a bunch of we're doing basically one week out of every month from now through next April just that we have lined up to go do

you know, in there is Phoenix and DC and Cleveland and Seattle and so we're very excited. You guys go back to Hilarities? Yes, Hilarities is in March 18th and 19th We're in DC. I grew up in DC. We're in D.C. I grew up in D.C. We're going to the Comedy Loft, which is a great club. I love that club.

So that'll be cool. Very excited. So that's it. And in our Patreon, we're doing the Cheap Seats. Heck yeah, you are. So patreon.com slash club. It's slowly growing. Okay.

All right. Let's get back. How long? The freezer has held this donut. The guesses were 19 years, six months from Randy, three years from Jason. The total amount of time that this donut has been in this freezer

since she left his ass is 10 years. I thought you were being... Jason was seven. I'm closer. Let's be honest. That's 10, guys. Not nine. seven. I'm closer. You are closer. Let's be honest. The 10 year itch.

That's 10, guys. Not nine. We're not talking about nine. We've known each other for 10 years. That's our friendship. That donut's been in the freezer for a length of our friendship. And always in the same... Didn't he move? I imagine sometimes he just looks

at it a little bit and then puts it back. If he had to move houses, do you go and do a whole preparation? It goes in a cooler. It goes on life support. Here's what he says. We got a frozen

den. Keep it frozen! For a while, Mike D'Alessandro thought he'd hold on to the donut until the Leafs win a cup. Okay, so you're going to be holding on to that forever. But with each passing and disappointing year, those dreams have begun to fade. I almost destroyed the donut once when they lost to the Bruins in Game 7 about four or five years ago, he recalled. I almost cut it up.

But Mike D'Alessandro's love for the Leafs triumphed over any vindictive feelings. He's hoping that that also translates to the girl. To the girl. Look, I let things go. It's all about the girl. This is a story. Who has disappointed him more, the Leafs or the girl? That's what I want to know.

I think he disappointed him in relation to the girl. He wants to make up for it. It was his fault. He's sad. It want to know. I think he disappointed him in relation to the girl. He wants to make up for it. It was his fault. He's sad. It has to be. You don't hold on to something without regrets on your end. But it could be just like she just left him, and I met somebody else from the Montreal Canadiens.

That's right. A far better track record. He said, I'm just a sappy Leafs fan. I ended up sticking it back in the freezer. But now. That could be a euphemism. I ended up sticking it back in the freezer. But now... That could be a euphemism.

Mike D'Alessandro wants to find out if there are any other sappy Leafs fans out there. Maybe one who would buy a 10-year-old frozen run-of-the-mill donut that new costs about $2 at most. I'm going to ask you guys. How much is he selling this thing? D'Alessandro posted his prize donut on Facebook Marketplace for how much money? If this thing gets an NFT, I'm going to walk out of here. Yeah, no. This is nuts.

How much do you think he wants to sell it for? I'm thinking $100 Canadian. Oh, okay. So like $6. I'm going to say $1,000. Whoa. $1,000. This is no joke.

I think $200. $200. All right, Townies, play along. Because the man with the broken heart and the complete donut wants to sell it on Facebook Marketplace for $500. Whoa. Jeez, Randy, you were the closest. He said he did it mostly for a joke, but admitted that if someone's willing to pay up, he'd take the money. No shit.

What did you say? $50 or $100? No, I said $100. $100 he'd take the money. No shit. What did you say? 50 or 100? No, I said 100. You were the closest. No, I said 200. Something for all the pain the Leafs have caused me, he said. If it doesn't sell, the donut is destined to head back into Mike D'Alessandro's freezer. It will stay in the

freezer for 10 more years and it will probably go up for sale for twice as much. Dude, you don't have a commodity here. I don't think it's getting value. No, this is not a house. Right. It's not going up. It doesn't look like Jesus.

It's more like a car. Nobody ate. It wasn't like somebody owned it. Right, right. It doesn't look like Baby Yoda. It's Mike D'Alessandro. Nothing bad. I have a photo of Justin.

No, not for you. Yeah. I just don't do it. Who are you? Stop posting to Facebook Marketplace and call her. Just call her. Yeah, just send a DM, man. Say you're sorry.

Start there. Start with a sorry and a picture of the cupcake. That's the last thing. The donut, yes. The donut. I like that you called it a cupcake. All right, last thing. How old is Mike D'Alessandro?

How old do you think a guy... He's 10 years of regret and sadness for the Leafs. I feel this is a guy that obviously had a long-time girlfriend. He started very early, maybe like in high school, sweetheart. It lasted for like 20 years. She finally went like, look, I got to go, you know, all this stuff. And now he's almost 40. He's never had another relationship.

So I'm thinking he's like 50. 50 years old 50 50 years old 50 years old And he only had one One big significant relationship And he put it in the fridge When he was 40 Because he doesn't know how to let go

He doesn't know how to let go Here's something you can't put in a fridge Your relationship I'm gonna say I'm gonna say he's 39 39 Did it Started when he was 29

And he's 39 and holding I think 35 35 25 to 35 Okay we'll get out of here on this What a fun little mini episode we did today 39. Did it started when he was 29. He's 39 and holding. I think 35. 35. 25 to 35. We'll get out of here on this. What a fun little mini episode we did today. Plus also he's using Facebook. Facebook is an old.

That is an old game. Old game. My mom uses Facebook. Okay. I'm going to switch mine to 45. Okay. I said 39. I shouldn't have said anything.

No. You're right. No. Now you got to play better poker. Come on. Mike. The Alessandrio. You're right. Now you got to play better poker. Come on. Mike, the Alessandro is 44 years old. Oh, you gave it to him. I still would have won.

I still would have won because you said 35. I beat him. Crap. Thank you. Oh, my God. Francisco Ramos. That's a story, my friend. Follow Francisco Ramos.

Follow his career. Get into his comedy. You will love it. F Ramos Comedy. F Ramos That's a story my friend Follow Francisco Ramos Follow his career Get into his comedy You will love it F Ramos comedy F Ramos comedy Yes Okay We do

We follow him Check him out Go see him live When he's performing Yeah When is this coming up This We'll drop this Friday

Friday Okay well I'm gonna be in San Diego Escondido Escondido area Yeah I don't know what I'm saying Like I'm

Escondido Escondido Escondido Escondido Yeah I'm saying. Like I'm a... Escondido. Escondido. Escondido. I'm in San Diego. So you're in San Diego, Escondido. What's the club? Grand Comedy Club.

Awesome. Friday and Saturday. All you down there, I want you to go to Las Cuatro Milpas. It is so good. Wait. For real? Roll talk. What is it called? Las Cuatro Milpas.

Las Cuatro what? Milpas. Milpas. Where is that? It's down in San Diego Okay Near Revolution Park And it has

Right near all the murals Oh really? It's right off of the 101 You go there And everybody else Go see you Nice Yes

This is my joke That there was It was food so The tacos were so authentic That each taquito Came with a screaming baby Alright That is the show We are out And oh shit We gotta get back to work Tacos were so authentic that each taquito came with a screaming baby. All right.

That is the show. We are out. And, oh, shit, we've got to get back to work. Stick around. Make a sound. Lock it down. It's Dumb, dumb, dumb. Stick around. Make a sound. Hung your downies. Dumb People Town.