Dumb People Town - Graham Elwood - Peanut Sherpa

Episode Date: April 3, 2023

Graham Elwood (Manifest It on ATC's YouTube) sits in as Randy tells the tale of a British man who wakes up on a Thai beach naked, Daniel describes how a man pushed a peanut up Pikes Peak with his nose, and Jason warns about a VR headset that kills the user if they die in their game, and so much more! Thanks to our #sponsor MeUndies: To get 25% off your first order, free shipping, and a 100% satisfaction guarantee, go to: Meundies.com/DPT

Thank you. So listen to our podcast With co-host Armand Dan And don't be a jerk Cause when the music Which the funny hits We are gonna take you down Stick around Make a sound Punk it down

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I agree. Listen, to get 25% off your first order, free shipping, and 100% satisfaction guarantee, go to MeUndies.com slash DPT. That's MeUndies.com slash DPT. Hey, townies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population you. Population Elwood.

Graham Elwood the third. Always a third. It is the... So much I love Graham Elwood. Always a third, never a third never ever there are these people in this comedy life these people these people in this comedy life and world that we come across that we get sort of cross-stitched with that are just memorable like we say this all the time there are comedians big comedians who are very very famous who i can't tell you one of their bits and yet a stupid little thing that we did with

graham i'm just gonna tell you years ago like lives to this day to this day we just jokingly at a point in time when we came out to la and it wasn't we were coming out to la a bunch to like in 98 and then in 99 we finally made the move out and there were a lot of people from new york coming out and the question everyone asked is are you out here now are you out here now are you out here now is he out here and then we started doing about everything i just i just uh i just had some taco is taco bell out here now are we out here now that's right i think they're part of a three part of a deal it's like a three-figure taco taco deal they they're paramount they're back and forth they're by they're by coastal well they've been live streaming chalupa now under the hulu three-figure taco deal. They're paramount. They're back and forth.

They're bi-coastal. Well, they've been live streaming Chalupa now under the Hulu. Is live streaming out here now? Actually, yes. So again, this stupid bit. Just to tell you, so I'm getting dressed to go today and I'm calling Randy on the phone.

No, Amy, my wife, she's like, who's on the podcast today? I said, Graham Elwood. And she just was working at the computer. And she's like. Didn't even look up. She's like, is he out here now? Well, here's the crazy thing.

My wife is doing the bit. This is a real thing with Graham, though. Because he was living on the island. He's in Hawaii. Are you out here? Where are you, Graham? So I literally just texted him this like a week ago. I was like, are you here now?

Are you here now? Didn't I? i yes you did he just lived out there just so that you can keep that bit relevant i had to move so i could be out here again so i love that you're in and you spent time living in hawaii and you've done such cool stuff amazing documentaries documentaries all sorts of you've always been just one of our favorite people to riff with and hang with and i'm so happy you're here and the world's dumber. You know, you've seen it on, you've seen it on the continental, you've seen it on the islands. There's just dumb behavior everywhere. And, and, but you do have a new special, which we're going to talk about.

We'll talk about that later, Jay. We don't talk about that in the first segment. I will say this, living in Hawaii, I think there's more dumb in the mainland. I'm going to test that. I definitely believe that. Coming now that I'm back out here now, I'm like, wow. It's dumb. It's really dumbed up. And getting dumbed up.

Here's the thing. We have the stories to prove it. Our awesome fans. Here's the way to send it. You send it to us, Daniel. You just do hashtag Dumb People Town at Daniel Van Curk. On Twitter. We're going to put our brothers Brothers on Twitter and we'll know

who sent it when and so we'll do this one. First story sent in by the great Carlene McDermott at SheBeCarlene. Here is the headline. Naked Brit. I'm already in. Found on Thai Beach after massive bender

with no recollection of the last two days so they went to thailand why don't you say a person goes to thailand have you been to thailand uh no you have not been neither of you never never i want to go so i want to go really i say well now i want to go i want to go this does add to me wanting to go yeah i already wanted to go so bad so now this should be like probably right in piccadilly like Like this headline should be like, and then Thai Airlines. Like it should be like, your vacation starts now. Thai one off.

P-H-U-K-E-T. Fuck it. Let's have a good vacation. Genuine question of three of my friends. I would ask this even if we weren't recording it. Yeah. Do you think there's a, is there a bad time to go to Thailand? Do they have like monsoon season? I'm sure they have a season where it's not as good to go but i would to me it is

who was i talking to oh so was it thailand so i was talking to a friend of ours whose family grew up in hong kong and china yeah and, I want to say helped build the infrastructure like his family. Cause her family was in grandfather was in banking and whatnot, help build the infrastructure in Thailand. And she was like, Thailand to that region of the world is like Hawaii. Right. It's like this.

Well, the islands are unbelievable, but it is like seen as this, like Thai people are so happy. There is this like general feeling of island vibes. And it's like this beautiful, wonderful place that everyone in that region is like, that's my happy place. So this, our friend Michelle was like, this is, that growing up for me was like, this is our happy place. And our family was like, that's our happy place.

So understand that. So I do some street food, get a custom suit. suit everybody who goes to tell me they get custom suits custom suit baby all right in a situation straight out of the hangover a naked brit is that out of the hangover was discovered on a thai beach with no memory of what happened on a two-day bender so basically this is drunk memento okay drunk memento drunk mento with just various tattoos the fresh maker the unidentified man and we'll figure out how regret maker the regret maker we'll we'll figure out how old he is later okay i'll give you the whole story then check the rings on his penis yeah exactly does that work does that work it does that's true that's real science from epson surrey uh had been celebrating his birthday with

beer and marijuana on a sesh this is in like a beer and marijuana that's it on a sesh that began on the 27th of october i feel like there's a hit there's a hidden something else that he's not talking about right these kind of people when they tell these stories they're always like i just had a couple beer and marijuana no you didn't no you did something else happened you were slipped a mickey or you decided to try dmt for the first time or something and they skipped through that stat just like what i had beer i had marijuana i sniffed a bunch of ketamine and then a little more marijuana what i mean what beer and marijuana that's it i was just doing cocaine in the morning for breakfast but that doesn't count beer and and marijuana. It came with the eggs.

But it was beer and marijuana. It's called cocaine over hard. He was discovered two days later on October 29th. Is cocaine out here now? It is out here. It's been out here for a while. It's been out here for a while. It's kind of transient, though.

All right. He was discovered two days later on October 29th by stunned locals on Koh Samui. Okay. Koh Samui. Koh Samui. kosamoi is like one of these like it's phuket kosamoi they're like these that's where you when you think about thailand and you see the beach and then the like giant rock yeah that's like coming out of the water and the boats going around that side of the score kosamoi okay sorry Pardon my pronunciation. Hey, you tried. So I'm going to describe what he was doing, and I'm going to, we're going to all say. Pumping a beach chair? Almost.

We're going to all say what we'd do if we came across this, what you saw. Oh, you know. Okay, so I kind of know what Dan's going to do. I figuratively am. I'm going on IG Live immediately. Stumbling around. I can guess what Dan would do. I'm going on IG Live immediately. Stumbling around and singing football songs before he got into the sea and attempted to swim away.

Oh, buddy. That's what he did. Dan, you walk right to him and you're like, are we okay? You know where your friends are? What does Graham Elwood do when he approached that situation? Drunk, naked? Singing soccer songs and attempting to swim. Swim as hard as you can, bro. Go for it.

You can make it. You're like the end of Point Break. You can make it, man. It's where you lose yourself when you find yourself. I become Bodhi. I become Bodhi from Point Break. I go, it's shorter than the English Channel. You'll be fine. Where am I going to go, man?

China? If you want it. If you want it. If you care enough. How much do you want it, man? You're going to need to actually loop up and go north, but whatever, man. This is the guy you, a 10-year-old girl just did that swim. Yeah. Yeah. If you care about the Arsenal Football Club, then do it. Yeah, I don't know. Are you a gunner or a

gunner? Are you really a gunner or a loser? I'm a gunner. I'm a gunner. I'm a gunner. I'm a swimming drunker. I get my drugs up in the sun. The man had been in the country 48 hours

or 11 hours. He still had his roller while he was swimming. It's an away. It's an away. It can float. Like a fresh stamp in his passport. Even better. The man had been in the country for a wedding. His.

His wedding. I guess. Where's Nigel? He ruined. You, he ruined. You know he ruined the wedding. This is the friend you worry about. They were like, thank God it was no wedding. Back table friend.

Like back corner table friend. This is the wife said, I told you. And this is the husband going, I thought he was. He said he was. He told me he was back. He said he got sober. God, wouldn't it be great if it's her friend? Yeah.

He was like, this dude still. Or a friend from work. It's all through college. Friend from work. You know how many weddings I've been at the back table? Always. Was traveling on a tourist visa. While a fisherman attempted to help the man when he was in the water,

he allegedly became aggressive and screamed that he wanted to go and meet with God. There is no way it's just beer and weed there's no way he was on an ayahuasca just bent like something journey but despite his protests the fisherman was able to save him by pulling the man out into the coast of i hope he hooked him like a marlin that's right he's like get up here fighting harpoon him right in the ass and then bring him over. He's just in a net just floundering. Yelling he can't breathe. Look at that, Jay. That's a fucking wheel, Jay. That's a fucking wheel, Jay.

Bro. Look at that. He's fighting, Jay. Already, based on just all the water element, this is better than Avatar 2. It's way of the dark. It's so much better. And shorter. Right.

Has anybody done a Tar and avatar matchup? Avatar. Avatar. Avatar, come on. I'm in. I'll conduct that. I just hope, too, that this guy sounds like, this may be a film nerd,

sounds like Bricktop from Snatch. That guy that just like, a pig can eat over 40 pounds of human flesh. And he's just in there going, get me out of this fishing trail. I want to carry me God. All right. But despite his protest, the fisherman was able to say,

I'm going to pull him on the coast of Meenam Beach, where he was found naked by the police. I'm just going to show you a picture of him naked with the police surrounding him. There he is. Great. You just see him. Good tan line. Yeah, pretty good tan line.

I mean. Love a good tan line. yeah pretty good tan line i mean love a good tan line two days of just when did the clothes come off when did he was you just naked on the beach for a long time just beer and weed he didn't go to that beach alone yeah someone left him there somebody left him there somebody were like nigel we're done we're done right i just said this is the end when they attempted to intervene the man told them that he couldn't leave the paradise beach because he wanted to meditate don't we so he's on it yeah yeah yeah but that's you gotta let the guy meditate an interpreter just said go back to your hotel shower and then go back to your meditating that's what they said yeah okay but the man who had reportedly been drinking and taking marijuana which is legal in thailand So he's not even doing anything.

He's not breaking the law. Said he wanted to stay on the beach and relax. So imagine you're these Thai cops, and you got to get there, and you see this guy, and you're like, this is going to be my home. On some level, Thai police, certainly probably in this district, are like Daytona beach cops, right? Where they're like, come on, buddy.

Like, every day with so they have the whole conversation here was i want the cheap trick song to be the thai police all right so that's the siren as it rolls up on the beach and like a golf so he said i just want to stay on the beach and relax to which the other guy said yeah i understand but this is not really the right time for that you've got 12 policemen around you the man said his response no i'm not going back let me worry about getting back and let me relax i'm coming here to go to a wedding so maybe he hasn't even been to the wedding made it to the well as far as he His concept of time is probably

He's a time traveler, Dan. He's a time jumper? Time jumper? Definitely time jumper. The time jumper makes you crazy. He was then taken back to the local police station for a drugs test. You know a drugs test. A drugs test. We have drug tests here. They have drugs tests.

Give them a drugs test. They know it's many. Which came back negative. So it's not even positive. He swam it out. Translation, he paid him off. He was like, let's take care of this. The Brit was fined for public indecency, and he will be permitted to leave the country

when his holiday comes to a close. That's how nice the Thai people are. Stay here for the rest of your thing, and then you can leave. The was has drawn comparisons to the hangover and then they explain that the 2009 film that centers on a group of friends who go stay like who doesn't know what the greenly right jesus but they end up drugged and waking up the next day with no idea what happened the film then follows their time this is in the article their attempts to piece together what they can't remember about their night out the fisherman who rescued the man said i saw the

tourists in the sea struggling to stay afloat so i was worried he could drown i tried to help him uh into my lifeboat but he was aggressive by the way fisherman hero of the story catch a drunk man you eat for a day teach a drunk man how to catch himself. You eat for a lifetime. Died on that story for a lifetime. He's so nice. Mind you, a person is trying to make a living just by fishing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A drunk man flailing around the water can't be good for the fishing.

No. Depends on the fish. That could be bad. This guy's bad all around. I think that's why they go so soft on him. Do you want to know how nice the fisherman is? This is his quote. I don't want him to be punished. I'm relieved that he's safe now.

Maybe he had too much to drink and the weather was too hot for him. So he behaved a little bit crazy. But I think he's a good person. This is great. He's the greatest guy ever. Back to weddings. As we are with the story. This guy is the fun uncle at a wedding.

Who's telling his sister Carla, where are they going to go? Because he got the 14 year olds drunk and he's like it's a wedding they're here where they were staying in this hotel carla chill out the fisherman is this guy he's essentially the uncle at a wedding who gets his nieces and nephews drunk and he's like just relax where are they gonna go the fisherman saying because to the cops he's like, who cares? Let him go. It's a wedding.

Really? You think he's a good person? He's a damaged person, this guy. He's the type of person you should never let date a relative of yours. You never lend this guy money. Don't invite to your wedding. Right, exactly. He's not a good person based on what we've known about him so far. Maybe this fisherman's a terrible judge of character, all right?

This is the friend who you're like, who they say, wait a minute, you got married. I didn't know. We sent you an invitation. Yeah. Maybe you got it. You better talk to your mailman.

Cause that went out to you. Like, all right. After the way you know, you've seen him naked. We're going to end the first round. This has been a while. We were surprised you didn't write to us.

We were mad at you. You never responded. Fisherman better be his plus one. Thank you. I feel like the fisherman also, what's not in the story is he doubles as the pull the dead bodies out of the harbor. So he's like, I ain't doing that again.

No. I lose a whole day of fish. I'd rather get them when they're alive because then you can get them out at a better time. Home and because of the dead bodies kill my fishing business. I mean, this is so for him, this is really a catch and release.

On to the beach to the police. He's a catcher it's a catch in police yeah um so how old we'll end this story on this we'll come back we'll talk about graham special talk about other stuff scott going on and stuff we have going on uh let's figure this out how old is the naked brit found on the beach in thailand two days Doesn't know what happened to him. How old is he, Jay? I'm going 32. 32? What do you think? 47. I put him in this range.

But like late 40s, early 50s. Pick one. Pick one. 52. 52. All right. Get your answers in. Get your answers in.

Get your drugs tests done, guys. Get your answers in. End of story one. The Naked Brit found on Thai Beach, we'll call him Nigel, massive bender with no recollection in the last two days, is 30 years old. Way to go, Daniel! Oh, Daniel, love it.

We got Graham Elwood with us. We're going to find out what he's doing right after this break. It's Dumb People Town. Don't go nowheres. Sklar Brothers, what's something you look forward to when you wake up every morning? Putting on my underwear. Okay, that's okay.

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I go no fly. You're a no fly zone. I'm a no fly zone. He's a no fly zone. I am in a no fly zone and and I love so comfortable, so soft. You forget that you're wearing underwear. Thank you. You think you're out there free-balling in this universe. That's right. I completely agree. Guys,

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Tell them. Free shipping and 100% satisfaction guarantee. and exclusive member only i'm gonna tell you what to do to get 25 off your first tell them free shipping and 100 satisfaction guarantee go to me undies.com slash dptj me undies.com slash dpt hey guys welcome back to the show the great graham elwood is with us he's got a fantastic special out he directed a bunch of specials uh he's just done such great work since and i don't know if he's out are you out here now i? I am out here now. Okay, good. And we got to talk about what's going on with us and Daniel. Dan, you start off. What do you have going on?

And I'm not sure when this is going to drop. So just say it and we'll see if it's after. Okay, great. On the 24th, Irene Tu and I have a comedy show that starts back up. It's at the Cat's Crawl. It's like Melrose and Heliotrope. Nice. So you can see that show every other week

I'll be at Moon Tower doing stand up shows we'll also do a live Dump People Town we'll say those guests in a second but I'm also doing a Living Wake we are doing the Living Wake of Big Jay Oakerson we better get asked to say something on that you guys have literally done

every one I know we have and then the next week I'm going to be headlining in denver with the growlix comedy guys and also don't forget that according to jason randy if we get a thousand patreon members they will take the hot chip challenge i'll take the already signed up and i hate for your contribution if you're on the spicy food i will i hurt myself for you too and then dude i can't I can barely eat a hot Cheeto. Well, good.

I hope you have to eat it. In the meantime, if you join the Patreon, it's all of our dumb. It's your dumb stories. Us goofing around about it. You send them to us and we treat you like a dumb. Only available on Patreon. That's right. So join us and it's five bucks a month. Simple.

We're superschoolers.com. I'm not sure when this is dropping, but we can tell you we'll be at Moon Tower. Dumb People Town guests will be from the Daily Show. Dulce Sloan from the Daily Show and Natalie Pal palomides i love her she's fantastic her special nate is unbelievable on netflix and she's great you know her from the progressive commercial she's so funny in those and she's just a great performer and i'm excited because neither of them have been on the show before so we got that happening and then our taggett show that we're doing there has got like dana gould andrew dismukes uh lisa ann walters lisa trager it's such good people it's going to be so adam ray so i'm not on your show but you

want to be dan you want to you want to do well we might have to negotiate but you're always i turned into a southern lawyer all right dan if you want in you're always invited you always so busy. I turned into a Southern lawyer. Daniel, where are we going? All right, Dan, if you want in. If you want in, you're always so busy. You're always invited. You're so busy all the time. You're busy. And so that's happening at Moon Tower, third weekend. And then we'll be in Minneapolis the third weekend in May.

So that's good. And then we have stuff in the fall. Ann Arbor and Springfield, Missouri. Check the dates. It's superscleros.com. Very excited about that. Is Ann Arbor out here now? No, it's still in Michigan.

It's still in Michigan. Stayed there. I thought they came out. It's tri-coastal. Okay. Graham, tell us about special, how people can see you and all that stuff. Yes. So I have a new special out, Manifest It, which is on All Things Comedy's YouTube channel.

Yes. Thank you. It's only been out two and a half weeks. We've already got 14,000 views. Nice. Very happy with it. Get it up. Get up so uh and then i've got tour dates the end of april i'm going to be back in hawaii uh april 27th what's your club that you were i've seen like a lot of clips from you i'm assuming it's from that stand up honolulu where dan performed right um and andrew youngblood

yeah you guys so fun is it a great club it's a great club it's they opened it it's it's coming up on its year has to be anniversary oh nice so it's new it's a brand new club there was you know there's cool little places to perform there but there wasn't a full-time club right right and so this comic jason pepper started it he's awesome it's great it's a great he's very comic friendly great when i was living there i could pop in there anytime and i would say 60 of my special manifested uh was written on oahu because i was able to perform there and try stuff out and awesome it's a cool thing because you get a mix of locals um my stuff's very political now and the locals are very pretty anti-government because their islands were illegally stolen in 1893 were they oh that's so weird.

Sure. You tend to get angry when your whole thing, your land got taken from you. So, yeah. So, I'm actually doing Stand Up Honolulu April 29th. I'm doing Kona on the Big Island April 28th. April 27th. And I'm in Arizona in May. May 11th, Phoenix. May 12th, Tucson.

You can go to GrahamElwood.com for all the tour dates. Watch the special. Come see me live all the tour dates. Watch the special. Come see me live, ladies and gentlemen. Watch the special and give it a thumbs up and share it with a friend. Yeah, everybody's like, hey, who should I be checking new specials out? We're giving them to you. This is how we do it. Graham Elwood.

And the name of the special is? Manifested. Manifested. Okay, check it out. Which is out here now. All things coming out here now. We manifested it. All right, Daniel.

You ready? Let's go, yeah. Sent in by Carly McDermott. She gets to him fast. Here's the headline. Man pushes food item up Colorado Mountain using unconventional body part. Is that a euphemism for up his ass? Dan, when you said pushes food item up, I was like,

his nose, his asshole, his dog's asshole. Colorado Mountain. Pushes it up. To me, first thing that popped into my mind is this guy, I want to say, probably OD'd on Viagra. So he's having a priapism, which is a never-ending boner. And that's what he's pushing. So he's pushing it up the hill with the never-ending boner. Like a wheel of cheese up the Colorado Mountain.

Food item. You say a wheel of cheese? Yeah. Giant wheel of cheese. Are you ready? Or rotisserie say a wheel of cheese? Yeah. Giant wheel of cheese. Are you ready? Or rotisserie chicken. I don't know where to land on this one. It feels like maybe a rotisserie chicken.

It does feel like a rotisserie chicken. Then you have to eat it. It's covered in gravel. I think that's part of the cooking process. A Colorado man didn't crack under pressure as he pushed a peanut to the top of a mountain this week. So he used his ass? Colorado Springs President Bob Salem marched me. So he used his ass. Colorado Springs president, Bob Salem.

Bobby. Bobby. Hey, where's Bob Salem? Oh, he's pushing a peanut up the mountain. You know who I ran into down at the store? Who'd you run into at Salem? What's he doing? Well, he's, you know, running things.

Still selling cars. Still selling rental cars. His vacuum repair business went under. so then he started selling cars. Bob Salem Suzuki. Not motorcycles, just for cars. What he's doing is, we've got a peanut car for you. He's got aftermarket Dysons he's trying to sell you. Dyson.

He does aftermarket modifications to the rolling ball on the Dyson. Colorado Springs resident Bob Salem marked the end of his. Go ahead. I was just going to say, this feels like it. So then this is all, if he is this used car salesman, this is all just a stunt. It's our summer peanut sales event where we're going to push a peanut up a hill. And Bob Salem is Chevy. I'm just this nuts to do it.

Am I nuts or what? We're pushing crazy deals up a mountain. This Suzuki half price. Well, Bob Salem marked the end of his peanut pushing adventure when he finished his trek up Pikes Peak on Friday. The man did most of the pushing at night, he told the radio station, and went through roughly two dozen. Isn't there a rap song

about this, Dan, called Push and Pee? Yes. Push and Pee. He went through roughly two dozen peanuts along the way, which I feel. Which nuts, Dan? That should disqualify. Yeah, it should be one nut. He switched out. What does that mean? It fell off the side of the mountain? Peanuts are like

the band Menudo. Once you're done with it, you get a new one in. It's like the Olsen twin on a show swap it out swap it out get the new nut in a new nut in we just hit mile 15 this peanut is not in rolling good rolling condition get me another b bob needs his next bit like whoever is the person who is holding the peanut bag the reserve peanut bag, that person. That's his peanut Sherpa. Didn't use his hands to move the peanut along the route. He used it.

Please tell me it's his tongue. Please tell me it's his tongue. The man decided to let his nose do the pushing. Oh my God. For the how many mile expedition. This using your nose to push a peanut up a hill sounds like a biblical punishment yeah yeah just that i worshipped a golden calf so god made me push a peanut up a hill with my only my nose came down with two tablets how many miles how many miles did bob do it i'm gonna say

a pike's peak that's a long one i'm gonna say 114 miles okay wait wait so he's on all fours i'm gonna say it's four he's bear walking four miles four miles i'm gonna say 10 miles okay i think i went a little high yeah i think he did no i'm sticking to it but 14 bobs in his nose the man decided to let his nose do his pushing for the 12.6 mile explosion he's on all fours bending over pushing with his nose i was 100 miles off. It's an insane whatever that is. That's an insane. At certain times there's steps too. I'll show you a

pair. Bob Subaru has a nose for deals as we're pushing up. Here's where you're going to go. His nose had the aid of a quote homemade contraption which was a CPAP sleep machine with a duct tape spoon on it. Oh, now, wait a minute.

That's not in the Bible. Wait, is this? This to me is like could be the next Mad Max. He's Bane or whatever. What is this? That really is nose. That is Bane. That is a Bane like, I will get this peanut up the mountain.

He looks like an unfortunate little elephant. I mean, the only thing I smell are great deals at Bob's Salem Ford. Doesn't it look like he's got a little driver attached to his nose? Yeah. It's a little scooper. This is not his nose. This is something on his face. His nose didn didn't push anything this is a misnomer they're lying about what happened just like the deals on a spoon this is how they get you so they say

forty five hundred dollars down and then what they really mean is you also got to pay for the distribution fee you also got to pay for the license and registration and the other fee and it becomes $62,47. Thanks a lot, Bob Salem. All I want to do is get into a 2019 Ford Escape. But then you already love the car and you're like, I want the Mustang Mach-EV. Right. This feels like that whole deal. Like, you said that you had this Subaru on sale.

Oh, we just sold it. But we've got this weird... But I can get you into this. I can get you a CPAP suit. I can get you into an Impreza. Tell a lot about a person by the colors they wear. Yeah. He's got a lot of rags. Yeah, he's got a whole drawer full of rags. And then the one pink spoon, that's where I...

That's a little flair. Well, that's for breast cancer. It's a Susan G. Coleman push for a cure. Push for a cure? We're nuts to find a cure at Bob Salem's Suzuki anduki and ford dealerships now selling e-bikes this is not the first time someone has accomplished this exact same feat in a segment on the second person to do this in a segment on the mountains peanut pushers what travel channel highlighted texas craftsman bill williams and his journey with a peanut up the same mountain in order to win a bet in 1929.

Okay. So in 1929, a guy from Texas named Bill Williams did this exact same trick. With a CPAP machine? I didn't even know they had them in 1929. Just says with a peanut. I have no idea. He probably had an iron lung attached to his face. Is this Billy Dee Williams?

How much do you think that bet was for in 1929? That he took and accomplished. Someone's daughter. Someone bet him. A plow horse. Yeah, he pushed a peanut up the hill for like a hundred acres of land. I'm going to say like 20 bucks. 20 bucks in 1929? 10 dollars.

10 dollars in 1929? I'm going to go 50. I'm going big. I'm swinging. In 1929 You can buy a house for $50. One of you is exactly right. Now we get to play a game. Who do you think is right? Are you going to stick with yourself or you can switch to one of them? I'm sticking with me.

What was yours? $20. I said $10. You said $50. Are you going to stay at $50? Are you going to switch to me? I'm sticking at $50. I'm going $50.

I'm going to push this Spone nose. Put your money where your CPAP peanut spoon is. Bill Williams was bet he couldn't push a peanut up the mountain in 1929. He took that bet, and for it, he won $50. Who let their dogs out? Today is worth $879.65. I thought it would be more. I thought it would be more than that. I thought it would be more. I thought it would be more than that.

I thought it would be $50. I thought you could buy like a car back then. In 1963, Ulysses Baxter pushed the peanut up the mountain in eight days to set a new record. So eight days is the record. But Bob Salem reportedly nosed his way up the mountain in how many days? So just to get this straight eight days is what it takes to get over a divorce is that right this is how this is like yeah all right so how many days did bob say the record is eight while they're how many days is eight mostly at

night going through dozens of peanuts and moving these new four tourists he did in six days six And moving these new four Tauruses. I think he did in six days. Six? Five. Five? He went at night. Which is, he just picked it up and carried it. Nobody can see.

Yeah, I know. That's what that pink spoon is, a whole distraction. So he's picking it up. What do you think, Graham? Graham, what do you think? I say six. Eight days was the record. I have not told you if he broke it or not.

Yeah, we don't know if he broke it or not. I think he broke it. I said six days. I think he broke it, but barely. I'm going to go seven days. Seven days. He beat the previous record by one day doing it. Oh, my God.

It's undefeated all of a sudden. Bob Salem, who did the peanut push to celebrate. You're the only other person next to Kevin Pollak who's gotten two exactly right. He's manifesting it. Manifest.

Available on All Things Comedy YouTube page. Manifest. Bob Salem, who did the peanut push to celebrate the city of Manitow Springs' 150th birthday, is the first person in the 21st century to complete the push. Or be that sad. Right. He's the first person in the 21st century to complete something that no one asked him to do.

No one wants to do. Nobody cares about this. For the sesquicentennial. How old? We will get out of here on this. Is Bob Salem. How old is Bob Salem? Big Bob Salem.

We saw a side shot of him. You did. He's got to be able to at least have enough fluid in his elbows and knees to push it up the thing. How old is he? What do you think? Graham. I think he's going through some midlife stuff yeah okay so i i got i gotta put him at i gotta put him at at 43 years old okay i'm gonna say he's 28 28 i'm gonna say saturn is returning he's speaking of saturn can we put you in this saturn at bob salem sat? I think he's 49 years old. 49? Mm-hmm.

Bob Salem is? If you get this right, I want you to walk out of here and go straight to Vegas. 53 years old. Oh, Randy. I got it. This is him at the top of the mountain wearing a code for his own PayPal, I assume, and definitely scaring the kids. That's his Venmo.

That's his Venmo. Bob, Bob, you're scaring the kids. Just take it off. You already did it. You're at the kids. That's his Venmo. That's his Venmo. Bob, Bob, you're scaring the kids. Just take it off. You already did it. You're at the top. Nobody cares. Bob, inspiration for the newest Saw movie. He's got some sort of certificate of completion for him.

That's the closest thing he'll ever come to a diploma. Wow. There you go. Story number two. Down in the books. Jay, can you give us just a little taste? Maybe the most violent video game ever. Okay, great.

That's on the other side of the break. Graham Elwood is with us. Got a new special called Manifest. You can see it right here on the All Things Comedy YouTube page. Let's get those views up. Let's get them up over 100,000. We can do it. It's Dumb People Town right after this.

Stick around. Look us down.. It's Dumb People Town right after this. Stick around. Look us down. There's more Dumb People Town. Hey guys, welcome back to the show. Jay, take us home. Okay, here we go. This is sent in once again by Carleen McDermott at SheBeCarleen. Thank you, Carleen. I'll give you the headline. Man makes VR headset

that kills the user if they die during game. What? Whoa! That actually kills the user? they die during game what whoa that actually kills the user let's get into it does it have a poisonous plant in it what's happening the man who created oculus rift is that a fish album no the oculus red yes and the father of modern virtual reality vr has created a headset that will kill the user if they die during gameplay, but naturally, quote, does not have the balls to try it himself. Yeah. Good.

No one should have the balls to try it. No one should try this dumb shit. How is it going to kill you? I'll get into it. Wait, so he designed that VR? Have you done VR? You've done VR. Yes.

Have you done VR? Yes. Yeah, I've done it too. It's like fascinating and crazy. We did a VR thing for like, Major League Baseball was doing this thing where you could sit on the bench during a game. You can watch an MLB game and sit on the bench and you're watching what's going on in the dugout

as the game's going on. You look up on the field and you can watch from their point of view. It's awesome. And then pop around the stadium. It was very, very cool. This does not sound cool. No.

This sounds terrifying. Yeah. Palmer Lucky. The guy's name is Lucky. This does not sound cool. No. This sounds terrifying. Yeah. Palmer Lucky. The guy's name is Lucky. Yeah. Okay. Palmer. You feeling lucky today?

Who sold Oculus to Facebook in 2014 for how much money? Oh, Oculus. How much did this rich prick sell this for? Oh, some insane amount of money. So he's out of touch. Oh, yeah. He's like so rich now. He's living in a gigantic.

Yeah. What can I do? I'll say $700 million. $700 million, Daniel. I'm Graham, but thank you. Oh, he's like so rich he's living in a gigantic yeah what can i say 700 million 700 million daniel i'm graham but thank you oh he's i'm sorry yeah graham what do you know what do you think graham how much do you sell for 1.3 billion dollars 1.3 billion dollars 2 billion 2 billion right it says 2 billion one of you is exactly correct oh god so now you can decide what you would you want to stand with me. That'd be crazy to be so specific and right.

So I feel like it's got to be two or seven. I'll stick with me. Stick? I got to stay. Stick, you've been hot all day. All right, get your answers in. Shout out your ham radios, because he sold Oculus to Facebook in 2014 for $2 billion. Whoa!

Randall Sklar on the money. That's right. I pushed the peanut up the hill on that one. So he made the deadly device to commemorate the anime Sword Art Online, S-A-O. Again, Mark Zuckerberg used Oculus Tech as the foundation for Meta. So for those of you who don't know,

this guy's tech is everywhere. He's made so much money. This is like the McAfee virus guy. Like the, is it the McAfee? Yeah, like that he like, have you seen that documentary? He's like murdered someone. It's crazy. These billionaires go nuts.

I think this is the, and they're all into like, you know, eugenics. So he's probably just saying, well, we need to eliminate the planet so I can have more yachts. Yeah. So let's get people to kill themselves. So there's that just saying, well, we need to eliminate the planet so I can have more yachts. Yeah. So let's get people to kill themselves. So there's that aspect of it. And I also think when you get to that place where you have that much money, there are only a few people you can ever hang out with. There's like no one understands what you're a billionaire and genuinely wanted to do stand up comedy. Would you sell tickets?

No, right? Every ticket would be free yes i mean people could the venue still needs to make money or you could even give the venue enough money for the weekend too if you really wanted to so they don't you go like hey come to my show food and drink is free i've paid the venue but that changes everything everything because people so when people decide okay this is what i want to do we feel this way we go see concerts and stuff like that just saw billy joel and stevie nicks and it costs money my wife and i went to go see it and i'm like it costs money but i was like we're paying for this experience yes this experience is great and yes i parked at the forum at a point in time where they

didn't check me and i didn't have to pay for parking and that felt great but i'm just saying that like parking scams because even if you're a billionaire like what you're saying if you don't sell tickets there's no skin in the game people would just walk in and we all know this oh yeah the free papered audiences we all know the worst the worst the worst because and they should be they're not there to even see you i mean i don't want them to be obviously but like they know they're the worst like i work to i think about those people who go see like burke kreischer at like a huge stadium or whatever, or go see Tom Segura or whatever. They're like, we are us, even on our level, you know, we want to pay our money.

We're driving this distance to see this person. So it's like you can't skip steps. You can't, you know what I mean? Maybe you just charge 20 bucks a ticket and it all goes to a charity. People still have to pay. To the club. I would have all the money go to the club. That's the other great thing.

But knowing these psycho billionaires, not if we were billionaires. I'm having wild deja vu right now. But if a psycho billionaire did this, they wouldn't get free tickets. They would spend 10 million on marketing to sell it out. Right. And just so they could say,

I sold it out because they're nuts. It's like Elon Musk hosting SNL. No, you didn't do as well as you thought you did. Okay. Your staff is paid to kiss your ass that's right they're telling you it's good all right lucky's killer headset looks like a meta quest pro hooked up with three explosive it does look like a medic quest because that's what i was thinking explosive charges i was picturing like something just kind

of just right in the back of the head no three hooked up with three explosive charge modules that sit above the screen oh so so I guess it's on the screen. It's going to blow up your face. Right. Have you guys seen John Wick? John Wick fans? This is like a Bond villain. Never seen John Wick.

Have you seen the other three? Oh, yeah. Have you seen the other three? I love John Wick. Okay, so I just started watching John Wick this week because I'm going to go to the theater and watch four when it premieres. But I'm watching it and I'm just like, I have never in my entire life wanted to see someone

shoot more people in the face. Shoot them in the face. They did to that dog, man. Shoot them in the face. They deserve it. You do a dog like that. Don't tell anybody. I haven't seen it yet.

But let me tell you, I was watching The Bachelor last night and I was saying the same thing. Thank you. Shoot his ass in the face. Shoot his face. All right. So the charges are aimed directly

at the user's forebrain. If activated, would kill the user. Boom. Explosion. The idea of tying your real life to your virtual avatar has always fascinated me. Shut up, you rich prick. You instantly raise the stakes to the maximum level and force people to fundamentally rethink how they interact with the virtual world and the players inside of it.

For sure. Lucky road. That's what you want. You think people are interacting with the virtual world and the players inside of it. For sure. Lucky wrote in a blog post. That's what you want? You think people are interacting with the virtual world in a bad way, and so we got to correct it? This is what he said. Pumped-up graphics might make a game look more real, but only the threat of serious consequences can make a game feel real to you

and every other person in the game. This guy needs to be jailed. Jail. No, locked up for sure. If this thing goes to market, I'm never putting a VR headset on ever. Now I don't trust VR anymore. I'm never doing it.

What if I got the wrong one? I'm never putting one on my head ever because this guy's going to blow me up. You got the Oculus 356, right? In SAO, players put on a Nevgear virtual reality headset and log into a new game, only to discover a mad scientist has trapped them in a virtual world. Players then have to fight their way through a 100-floor dungeon to escape.

If they die, they die in real life. This is just a Final Destination block. I know, exactly. If you try to think of what sort of physical thing you could do, and everything is too much to me. Like if you got punched in the stomach if you die, still too much. Still too much. Obviously punched in the face too much.

Too much. What if somebody like. What if it was just a shock? Hit you in the back with a. Dan, electric shock. Electric shock. From the unit. Wasn't an explosion.

It was like an electric shock. That would give me a good level of anxiety. I could handle that. I'm saying. That would really up it and be like, if I fall off this cliff, I'm going to get shocked. I'm going to get shocked. That would be enough for me to society's collapsing. We're all going to be in a post-apocalyptic nightmare soon enough.

So we don't need a VR life or death scenario. We're going to be, this guy lives in Hawaii. Huh? And we'll be right back. We'll be right back. We're going to be murdering each other for water. Go to manifest it.

And he said, the good news is that we are halfway to making a true nerve gear the bad news is that so far i've only figured out the half that kills you lucky said oh my god i'm glad you haven't figured i'm glad you haven't figured out all the tech on the murder hat just like remember when you guys made fun of the dude with the oh my god dan you're oh my god you're getting got this dan i'll let it go unable to replicate the device you'll get it remember we when we made fun of the dude well i know we remember i was trying to remember who our guest was i was trying to remember who our guest was um but it was when you guys made fun of the guy who made the blowjob

machine you thought david cross david you guys you were uh you thought he was a horrible monster. At least he's trying to make people's lives better. I mean, he's trying to finish people off. This guy's really trying to finish people off. That guy's blowjob machine doesn't even have teeth. That's right. It's just for comfort. I know, it's just for fun.

Unable to replicate the device, Lucky opted for the explosive modular charges instead, trying them to narrow band photo sensor that detects when the headset views that the game is over. Okay, so you try over. You try first. And how many interns has he murdered? I wonder that too. It's got to be cantaloupes and watermelons, right? It has to be. He's the Gallagher

of VR. Don't get in the splash zone, gang. He's mad at it. He's mad that he couldn't come up with a way for the headset on your head by itself to kill you. He's like, I found a way to hide from other employees, regulators, and contract manufacturing partners. I'm a pretty smart

guy, but I couldn't come up with any way to make anything like this work. I'm a pretty smart guy. Don't ever say that. Don't say that. Let other people tell you you're a smart guy. And you know what? You're a dumbass. A lot of these billionaires are not that smart. They're just rich kids who stole someone's idea. And then got richer and richer and richer. Or Hawaiian lands.

Yes. Or even if it was theirs it's one it was one good idea yeah they have one good idea yeah they love don't be wrong i'd love to find one good idea one good idea yeah you do you have a lot i'd love to see what we already have a good idea grandma would on the show uh lucky said they use three explosive charges he usually uses for a quote three explosive charges that he usually uses for a quote, three explosive charges that he usually uses for a quote, different project. Oh, what's that? Don't look over there.

Don't look over there. What is that? Don't look over there. We don't want to know. He did not go into specific details, but lucky is also the founder of Anderil, a weapons and defense contractor, which won massive contracts with the government.

There you go. This is all in, in Graham's new special. I don't know why you're not watching. This is like... It actually is, probably. Versions and tangential connections. This is exactly...

I knew it. It's for the defense industry. Let's find out how we can murder more people. Yes. So we'll put this crazy story out there for VR. And, you know, someone over at Raytheon went, ooh, I like this. This is what they're going to do.

They're going to fly over an enemy country they're going to drop tons of VR PS5s and PS5s and VR things it's like Halloween 3 and then when they die they're going to get killed I have plans for an anti-tamper mechanism that like the nerve gear will make it possible to

remove or destroy the headset how many times has he started that sentence at a party and someone's like yeah I gotta go. I have plans for an anti-tamper. I'm gonna head over here. Oh, is it tonight? Like how many women that he's been with have had to hear him talk about the anti-tamper mechanism while in bed with him?

Right. They're choosing to be there. They're choosing to be there. And they really shouldn't choose to be there. This isn't worth it. And then when he pitches this thing, he's talking about, oh, we're gonna create this Android thing. I always want to say am i the only guy that saw the terminator movies yeah am i the only like you're creating robots to murder dying baby yeah come on man even so there are a huge

variety of failures that could occur and kill the user at the wrong time this is why i have not worked up the balls to actually use it myself you do do it first, buddy. Yeah. You try it. I'm excited for you to try it. It's like Street Fighter. You're like, hey, why don't you demo it at CES? Yeah. Let's watch. Probably at CES. See if you make it.

Let's see if you make it. Live stream that, please. This douchebag. Comic's wild. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. Isn't that an insane story? You know what I will say?

It is extremely dumb. It's so dumb. You know why this is? I love this story is appropriate for the show because it's a guy who thinks he's smart, but he's doing the dumbest thing in the world. That's it. That's the scariest version because there's the dumb drunk Brit who washes up on the beach. Okay.

Fine. But this is like, what about the peanut pusher? Peanut pusher? We're all just peanut pushers and dumb drunk naked Brits washing up on beaches. And then this guy comes up and he's like, I'm smart. Let me try this thing that's going to murder everybody. Murder, kill everybody.

Everybody. This dumb world that we live in. The special's called Manifest. Watch it here on All Things Comedy's YouTube page. It's Graham Elward. I love every time

we're hanging with you. It's joy. It's a good time. We laugh. That's all we do. That's what it's all about. That's what life's all about. And oh shit,

we got to get back to work. Peace. Stick around. Make it sound. There's all about. And oh shit, we got to get back to work. Peace.