Dumb People Town - Greg Hess - Mow the Pendergrass

Episode Date: November 16, 2018

The guys are joined by comedian Greg Hess to discuss a story involving a mysterious fiery hole in Arkansas!

Dan and Ran and Jay will share Tales of folks so unaware They lack in grace and sometimes choose The life they choose will make the news Breaking down each epic fail In Florida there's half-price bail I'm happy to say they Couldn't make this up

So listen to our podcast Dan with co-host Our man Dan Man, jerk, don't be a jerk Cause when the music hits the funny hits So listen to our podcast band with co-host Armand Dan. Man, don't be a jerk, cause when the music hits the funny hits, we are gonna take you down. Stick around, make a sound, talk your downies, Dumb People Town. Hey townies, welcome to a Friday episode of Dumb People Town. Population you.

Population Hess. Greg Hess In the Hess In the Hess Hey guys How are you buddy? I'm doing great Hess is German for house Is it not?

Hess is German for house It's not There's no way It's impossible For that to be true You're awesome We Can we talk briefly

About how we met Greg Hess? Well he's fantastic If you've been in LA We were donating money To someone who was Asking for it on the ground. Right. He was just laying on the ground in a pool of his own urine. And then that was my one-man show.

Yes. That is his one-man show. Unbelievably experimental. Thank you. And just the reviews are incredible. Theater's my passion. Street theater is my passion. Street theater.

You're in the right place. Well, you call it up-close theater is what he calls it. Up-close theater. You call it up-close theater. It's the up-close magic of theater. When I said up-close magic of theater is my passion, people were like, you've got to move to L.A. It's where it's happening Theater? It's the Up Close Magic of Theater. When I said Up Close Magic of Theater is my passion, people were like, you gotta move to LA.

It's where it's happening. And get on the streets right now. The theater mecca of the world. If you're not doing theater in LA, you're not doing theater.

It's actually a nice way to think about people maybe living on the street or acting in LA, which is just like, if you think of it all as street theater, it makes you feel

a little bit better. Hey, everybody's just working it out. No, we met you when we did Live From Here, the amazing sort of new iteration

of Prairie Home Companion. We were in St. Paul with you and we did it with the Dirty Projectors and you and your awesome wife, Holly,

and just great, great people. Tom Papa involved. Just good people and it was a really amazing show and you did such a good job and we were riffing.

We're like, we have to have him on this show. Yes. Let's wait until he comes back. You guys crushed it. It was amazing. Thank you. And the Chicago Connection. Obviously, you do an amazing show called Improvise Shakespeare.

You're a part of that out here at Largo. There's so many connections. And we thought, all right, let's bring them in. Daniel Van Kirk is here. Yes, sir. We should say thank you. I don't know even when this one is going up in the grand scheme of all the ones we've recorded,

but when we're recording this, we just got back from the ATC Festival in Phoenix. Yeah, to a packed, sold-out live podcast in the podcast pop-up studio. How fun was that, Daniel? It was so much fun. Oh, it was wonderful. I mean...

It was wonderful. Burt crushed. Burt Kreischer was amazing. You know what was really magic? The townies with the stories. I can't wait for you guys to hear that. You guys, every live show, and that is why. And they just keep getting better.

Keep getting better. You guys are so good. One townie had the funny, I don't even want to say it. Don't. His delivery was impeccable. Was it the one who said, I'm going to get out of here? Yeah. His delivery was impeccable

it was so good and so check that out and then it just encourages me to tell you guys to please please come to the LA show at Largo

on December 10th that's a Monday night we just found out who our guest is gonna be Saturday Night Live's and Last Man on Earth's Will Forte that's about that

our 100th Dumb People time oh my gosh I'm very excited well we've got dumb stories sent to us. We have one that was sent to you, Daniel. Greg Hess is here, and it's almost like the Kentucky Derby.

He's in the gate, ready to go, and why are we harnessing him? Let's get dumb. Nice. Okay, here we go. Ready? Yep. Sent in by Jake Conway, at Jake Conway 3. At Jake Conway.

Jake Conway Twitter should be great. Yes. Conway Twitter. I like you in those. Jake Conway Twitter should be great. Yes. Conway Twitter. I like you in those tight-fitting jeans. Mm-hmm. Dot com. Meteorites, methane, and the devil have been ruled out as the cause of a flaming hole in the ground at Midway. This is from the Ark...

Midway Airport? Yeah, from the ArkansasOnline.com website. Okay. So, flaming... I don't think it's Midway Airport? Yeah, from the ArkansasOnline.com website. Okay. So, Flaming... I don't think it's Midway Airport, then. Could Flaming Cheetos be part of it? I don't know. Takis?

Why is... Wait, the Arkansan? What is it? You have the ArkansasOnline. Why are they commenting on Midway? Yeah. Is it Arkansas? It can't be Midway Airport.

The Midway Airport of Arkansas is... It is nice. You gotta go. Hey, you gotta go down there and talk to the TCA guys. Did you ever fly to Midway when you were a kid? Oh, yeah. Many times. I flew out of Midway many times.

You took the Orange Line. Oh, you take that Orange Line, you take that Southwest flight. And then do you all remember when the giant airplane tried to land on the freeway? Oh, yes. Right next to Midway? Yeah. Yeah, that kind of ruins it for you. Well, every, like the freeway right next to Midway? Yeah. Yeah, that kind of ruins it for you. Well, every,

like the freeway itself is called Runway 7. They just don't have enough room down there. They want to be a big airport then they don't. But I love that it's meteorites, methane, science,

science, and the devil. What's wrong with, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. This is where I got to put my foot down. The devil is science. The devil's science? Okay, all right, all right.

He did go down to Georgia. He did go down to Georgia. He did. He did go down to Georgia. Looking for a soul to steal. Can you be a methane addict? Would that make you a methane head? Yeah. A methane head.

A methane head. You totally can. The county judge in Baxter County, ready for, is there, in Baxter County, what I'm assuming is Arkansas. Is it going to rile me up to my southern judge? Yeah. Is it going to rile me up? This is a perfect name.

I am ready. I'm already sweating. County judge. He patted himself on the head. I pat myself on the back of the neck. It's almost, if we were in a writer's room and I was like, and then, what if we call the guy, you would all be like, it's too

on the nose. Let me hear my name son. Judge Rooster T. Fellers. I would like to call enemy of the People number one, the devil. The devil, you are called to the stand. You ready for this name? It's just a tan. I cannot wait. Mickey Pendergrass.

My name is Mickey Pendergrass. And you will approach the bench. Like Improv 101. The guy in your class who literally like, hey, come on in. Good to see you, Mickey Pendergrass. Then turns out to the audience. He thinks he's the first guy to ever do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Just improv 101 of like milking everything. Oh, my God. Did you guys see how I broke the fourth wall? Yeah. Right. I didn't know you were supposed to do that. You're sitting next to his stuff while they're on stage in your class. And you look over and it says, written on his notebook, it says Mickey Pendergrass.

He's so contrived about wanting to use that name on stage. I got it in. I got it in. First class, first sketch. Mickey Pendergrass, the county judge in Baxter County, said officials are still investigating the mysterious midway hole that flared into a spectacular 12-foot flame early on the morning of September 17th,

then burned at about 8 feet high for more than a reasonable amount of time. Wasn't that an old bird song? 8 feet high. Oh, we really hit that devil's chord right there. That's the devil inside you. I think it was immediate, right? Wait, wait, wait. So they ruled out methane and they ruled out the devil.

I mean, those are actually the first three things I'd go to. Have we looked at the devil? So it was a 12-foot flame on the morning of September 17th. Then it burned at about 8 feet high, which is still very large. We all remember where we were on 9-17. I know. For an unreasonable amount of time. I'm going to ask you guys

how long do you think an 8, it started at 12, then tempered down to an 8-foot flame and burned straight at 8 feet high. Yes. It's strange because it was a very reasonable fire up to this point. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Any mystery fire is reasonable.

You could talk, you could have a discussion with me. Y'all boys want to come down and have some of that hot meat? Just bring it down here. We got a flame going, man. Very reasonable. Very reasonable. So, all right, what is your reason? You can go first, Tig, which is in between the two of us, or third.

Okay, I'll go Tig. Okay. So, Jason, you go first. What's a reasonable amount of time, Jay is in between the two of us, or third. Okay, I'll go Tig. Okay. So Jason, you go first. What's a reasonable amount of time, Jay? Unreasonable amount of time? Unreasonable amount of time. I'm going to say three hours. Three hours.

I'm going to say... Oh, you're not... Oh, yeah. I'm going to think about it. Come on, Randy. I'm sorry. Although, like in Tig... Wait, like Tig Notaro, I'm assuming.

Oh, so you could say the answer for me, like her Twitter feed. Somebody else could just answer. She's vacated. I'm going to go. So you went three. An unreasonable amount of time is a work day. It's eight hours. Eight hours.

Yeah. I'm going to say 90 minutes. To sustain a fire like that for 90 minutes. But it's a flame. It's a flame. What do you mean? Well, like, a fire is, this is like we have logs here and we're burning them. A flame is shooting out of a hole and just continues to shoot out.

It never dies back down. Blowtorch of the earth. So, like, how long did that flame just shoot out of? I say 90 minutes. Okay, 90 minutes from Randy. You say eight hours? Eight hours. But you say three hours.

Three hours. Okay. I think you guys are both being ridiculously unreasonable. Oh, no way, man. This is the earth we're talking about. Okay, 90 minutes from Randy. You say eight hours? Eight hours, but you say three hours. Three hours. Okay. I think you guys are both being ridiculously unreasonable. Oh, no way, man. This is the earth we're talking about. Okay. The flame shot out of this hole in Midway for, get your answers in now, Tony, because the answer is 40 minutes.

Oh! Damn! Thank you. Because I think you're thinking of it, but if it was just a random hole with a flame shooting out of it. For 40 minutes, you'd be like, that's a long time. Yeah, but think about Old Faithful. I mean, that shit's been going on for 7,000 years.

That's the devil. Have you seen Old Faithful? I've seen Old Faithful. That's the devil. I haven't. I haven't. And I think Old Faithful is flame out of the ground, right? No, no.

Do you know every year people die at those things? Oh, totally. Every year people die. They just walk across the barrier and they're like, Honey, what's over? It's not a water hose, guys. No. You think it's not?

It's boiling hot water. You got to get the gram, though. It's all in service of the gram. Yes. Exactly. You got to get it. As far as the spiritual Satan goes, we've ruled that out. That is a direct quote from Mickey Pendergrass.

I know Mickey Pendergrass is being funny there. You know he's like, we have ruled the devil. I don't know, man. You think there are people in our constituency that would like us to rule out the devil. Quote, he didn't come

up and stick his pitchfork in the ground and blow that hole out. He's trying to be funny. You think so? I think he is deathly afraid of funny. You think so? Yes. I think he is deathly afraid of Satan. I think Pendergrass has got his tight five and he's working it right now. You think he's working it? I agree.

Also, with a name like Mickey Pendergrass, I guarantee you it's been painted on the side of a race car. Yeah, yeah. He sponsored a car at some point. Probably his nephew. Just a local regional track. Yes, yes. And it's like a parachute Shirley Muldowney pink lake.

And he's somehow related to Teddy Pendergrass. Yes. Oh, yeah, yeah. And he has like a soul group called the Pendergrass Three. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Pendergrass said he had suspected methane, but investigators found no source of it, such

as decaying organic matter. This, to me, is if you ever believed that God is mad. This is it. This is like God is shooting flames out of the earth at us. And if you're like me, you believe he's mad all the time. Because just look around you. Things are good right now. Pendergrass said the hole had been there for at least 10 years,

according to a man who used to mow the grass on the private property along Arkansas 5. So it wasn't caused by a recent impact of a meteorite. He used to mow the pendergrass. Yeah. Ah, yeah. Someone's got to mow it. You know he says that. Yeah.

Now who here is going to mow the pendergrass? He said that to a woman in more than one. Jeez, come on. So the hole's been there a long time. That's also just like a South thing right there. That's the hole nobody questions or worries about. We just leave it there and you walk aside it. Well, now there's a hole.

I mean, I've been mowing the glass. Whenever I see a hole anywhere in Los Angeles, like a tiny hole, I'm always like, there's a rattlesnake in there. That is my working assumption. No matter where I am, I tell my kids that. I'm like, there's a rattlesnake in there. That is my working assumption. No matter where I am, I tell my kids that. I'm like, there's a rattlesnake in there. Get away from me. If you're in Arkansas, I think there's a headshot in there if you really look. A headshot?

Yeah. It's a rattlesnake trying to get worse. Sonic the Hedgehog? It's kind of like an old groundhog hole, burrow or armadillos, he said, but it's been there a long time. I love that he's like, don't blame the hole. You're going to come down here and try to say this hole is to blame and it's not,

goddammit. There's a lot of hole shaming going on right now in this country. Hey, hey, hey, I've been mowing the lawn for a long time, 25 years. We all know that hole's been here, it ain't going to do a goddamn thing to nobody, and y'all try to say it's a goddamn fire hole, and it ain't a fire hole. It was a victim, too.

45 minutes, and y'all call it a fire hole. I'm just telling you, most of the time, it's fine. Listen to Davis. He told us what he said. He mows the lawn. He understands. Y'all dumb bastards. Get away from the hole, though. That thing will blow up. Don't look at it. He's like, y'all dumb bastards, get away from the fire hole,

though. Just be careful. He starts the George Bailey tactic of making people personally identify. Remember when he's trying to tip people to not take all the money? He's like, well, come on, Rick. Remember the time you kicked a light post for 22 minutes and we didn't call you light post kicker forever? This is the most Southern George Bailey I've ever heard. I love it.

Come on, Rick. Now, now, now. That'd be more like it. Mary, this is good. Don't you regret the light. We gave you the money you needed. You don't. Now, now, now. That'd be more like it. Mary, this is good. You're in the light. We gave you the money you needed. You don't remember that, do you? That's a good one.

Thanks, buddy. George. Everybody's a George now. One of my recent favorite parts of It's a Wonderful Life is when the husband of the teacher punches the shit out of George Bailey in the bar. And you get older and you're like, that husband was 100% in the right. Because his wife is doing everything he can for these kids. And George Bailey's grumpy ass calls up and screams her out. That's right.

And it's like, dude, she's just a fucking teacher doing the best job she can. She's literally just doing the best job she can. Like, he deserved that punch. Hiya, setter hall without a coat on. Now get out of here, burger. I'll hit you again. Potter's got the flannel blanket over his lips.

George, I'd say you're worth more dead than alive. So my favorite part of the movie is when there's a moment where George turns the other way

and he lifts off the blanket and he crip walks over to the fireplace, puts a new log and then he comes back, puts it back down. No one saw that. Because your eyes are thinking you're looking at something else.

You're like, wait, did he just? Is there any way? I can do everything. I did a thing once on stage where I did all of It's a Wonderful Life in three minutes. Did you do Mary? Get away from me! Mary! Mary! It's Mary George! Where is she? I can't tell you that, George!

Clarence, I can do them all. That's so good, Dan. Did you further know there's a pool under that floor? Okay, so... Nope. I don't even remember where we were. Just a hole. There's a hole in the ground.

The guy's doing a lot of hole protecting right now. I got over here. We're going to the hole. Yeah. All right. Not getting the hole, Mary. What? The hole, he said, is about the size of a volleyball.

Maybe a volleyball put it there. Jim? By the way, a volleyball is... Did you ever ask yourself that? Fuck him. Fuck him so hard. By the way, did you ever... Nobody has ever used a volleyball as the unit of measure.

I could think of so many other things. Like a pot. A bucket. A bucket. Sure. Those are all the size of a volleyball. Two hands. You know, like a woman's volleyball.

Yeah. Wait, why are you giving... The only thing people use volleyballs for is when you can't dunk a basketball, but you really want to still show your friends you can. Yeah. And you're in the gym and volleyball practice hasn't cleaned up all their stuff yet. I got this. I got this.

Clyde the Glide Wexler. Jim Sirchula. S-I-E-R-Z C-H-U-L He's in Whitsack. They were like, can we get a comment? He's just looking at a bottle of Sriracha and he just kind of took some of the letters from it.

What's your name, sir? What is it? There's literally just Sriracha and Cholula put together. I need to write it down, sir. We need to get your quote. What is your name, sir? It's got to write it down. That's literally just Sriracha and Cholula put together. I need to write it down, sir. We need to get your quote. What is your name, sir? It's S-R.

This is not a S-R what? Do you like hot sauce? I do love hot sauce. It's a huge hot sauce, man. It's Sir Chula. Sir Chula. Yeah. Is that a name?

Yeah. Okay. He said it's his name. All right. And that's the fire hole over there? That's not a fire hole. It's a regular hole. Jim Sertula, the Baxter County Emergency Management Director and geologist from the Arkansas Geological Survey, investigated on September 21st.

They scoped the hole, which, I mean, this is the best context in Dumb People Town. If we're scoping holes in Dumb People Town, usually, we're throwing up. It's a very different thing. The one dude who works at the geological survey was so pumped, though. He was like, finally, I get to do my job. I'm the only geologist in this whole state. He, like, jumped down a fire pole, you know, and, like, put clothes on. He got the call. Yeah.

We're doing it. They scoped the hole with a camera and determined it extended horizontal before intercepting a nearby drainage ditch about 10 feet away and three feet below the ground. So the hole matches up with the ditch. Right. Okay. This could be a sulfur-like explosion, I think, coming up from the- He's still going methane, man. Drainage.

To me, you know—but you know what happens if a gopher hole throws fire for 40 minutes. You know what that means. What? Six more weeks of dumbness. Oh, nice. That's what it is. This is all according to a report from Ty Johnson, and what I'm going to assume was first team All-State in high school, just by name alone, Danny Raines.

Ty Johnson and Danny Raines are both splitting carries in the backfield this whole year for Arkansas State. He's got a shoulder of glass, though. Ty Johnson and Danny Raines could also be like, Danny could be a woman, and it could be like the Eyewitness 5 news team. Ty Johnson and Danny Raines. Danny Raines will be back with the weather right after this.

R-A-I-N-S. And she's so hot too. She's so hot. Danny Raines! Danny Raines! Y'all it's gonna be rainy! Y'all there's gonna be fire coming out of holes! Let it rain. This was determined to be, this is a quote from them, an animal hole.

Now, great that we figured out what it is, right? Thank you. But doesn't this beg more questions then as to how the hell an eight-foot flame for 40 minutes came burning out of this? Dragon hole? If it's determined to be. Dragon hole. Dragon hole. Dragon hole. So if it isn't, this is what I assume was the extent of their hole scoping.

Guy comes out, walks over, looks down in for a second and is like, it's an animal hole. This is what I assume was the extent of their hole scoping. Guy comes out, walks over, looks down in for a second, and is like, it's an animal hole. He just walks in. Black Hills Energy also participated in the investigation. They are bringing everyone in on this. We're only talking about what I'm assuming is 200 to 300 people from Arkansas who are standing around watching. All the cops.

Black Hills Energy, that's the company that we hired as subcontractors to kill all those Iraqis. I thought that's what Pete Davidson had before the divorce. Black Hills Energy. That's his energy drink. Although Black Hills Energy does not provide natural gas service

in Midway, the local fire department contacted us to assist with their fire investigation, according to a with their fire investigation. According to a statement from the company, our technicians responded and detected no natural gas in the area. It's just a hole. Everybody go home. It's just a hole. You're right.

Very next sentence. Mickey Pendergrass, the county judge in Baxter County, said there was no utility or fuel lines in the area that might have been leaking. Why is the judge there? The judge is there. I am in my room and I am here to check it out. It's like when... He's slamming a gavel like onto a tree stump. Order!

Order! Network's in this field. Network TV does this a lot. Like if you're going to have NCIS, for some reason they have to deal with this crime that obviously would be handled on a city or state level. Like Matlock is constantly doing all the work that a cop should be around. He should just be at least running into cops a lot. If y'all want to close up the hole, you're going to need a hole injunction.

So it's like Mickey Pendergrass has inserted himself. The show is about him, and he is on every case. Order! Order in the hole! He is definitely messing up all the evidence too. Like, come on, Henry.

Get out of there. You can't carry that. I feel like all the woodland animals are there too now. I'm just imagining everyone is there. Just a bunch of squirrels

up on her legs. There's everyone. I will tell you though, mentioning CBS shows, my grandma just came to visit me for a week. She was here during the Andrew Santino.

So, there was two nights where we did nothing but watch CBS TV. Did you watch Wheel and Jeopardy with her? No. That is like the thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were gone during those times.

There's such a moment of doing that. We watched like three different CSIs and an NCIS. And I will tell you, there is, maybe it's just because of where I was raised in my childhood, there is kind of something warm blankety about a CBS drama. Like, we were like, I know how this goes. I've seen all this. Like, even in CIS, New Orleans. Wait, were you raised in a police precinct? I was raised by TV. Oh, okay.

So it's like, there's something about watching another Scott Bakula show with my grandma. It used to be Quantum Leap. Now, mind you, halfway through the episode of NCIS, halfway through New Orleans NCIS, my grandma goes, oh, he's the guy from Quantum Leap.

I'm like, grandma, this show's been on for... What they should have said is he leapt right into New Orleans. And now he's doing this weird Creole accent. They even do a thing on NCIS New Orleans where they show you a scene frame from something that happens in the next segment before it starts. Oh, that's great. So that you can be like,

oh, I'm going to wait for that to happen. That's amazing. The end of that should be that Bacula has jumped into that world. That would be amazing. They've got to dovetail it back in. And have him just go, oh boy. Didn't he come out with Drunk Quantum Leaf? Every time

he gets drunk, he's like in a whole new thing. But he said something. Okay, Mickey Pendergrass said there's no fuel lines or any of that. The fire was on private property in front of a billboard advertising Dr. Wynne Moore. W-I-N. That's some

drunk dad. He's like, don't need to ask Wynne. Dr. Wynne Moore. Wynne Moore. A surgeon at the Baxter Regional Medical Center's Bone and Joint Clinic in Mountain Home, who said he has gotten a considerable amount of free publicity from the fire. I think we now know who started the fire. He's literally flame-throwing on the other end of this thing.

Pendergrass said the billboard wasn't damaged and added that someone could have set the fire on purpose. Yeah, Dr. Winmore. You know what he's doing? He's winning more. Totally. Dr. Wynne Moore. You know what he's doing? He's winning more. There's just too many questions for it not to have been done on purpose,

whether it was fun or for giggles. Mickey Pendergrass. It was fun or for giggles. Somebody will talk someday and have to brag about it. Then we'll find out who did it. That's just good old boy crime solving. Someone's going to blab about it in prison. I know.

We'll let sleeping dogs lie. They'll talk later. Yeah. Probably when Wynne Moore kills Danny Raines, his longtime rival. That's right. You know Danny Raines took his starting spot on the high school football team? Wynne Moore is like, Raines, you are going down. We'll get out of here on this.

Donald Tucker, chief of the Midway Fire Protection District, said it was an unusual morning September 17th. Quote, I've never seen it before. I hope I never see it again. It's not that bad. I would love to see that. What it was, I have no idea. He is afraid of fire. By the way, this guy, Don Tucker,

he has never had this level of condemnation for like abject racism that he's seen. No, but if I were to never see that again's seen. I hope I never see that again. Oh, I hope I never see that again. I hope I never see that again. Meanwhile, you know Danny Raines when he scored a touchdown would be like, when it rains it pours!

No, no. When Moore's like, I had a thing, I was gonna say when Moore! I was gonna say when Moore! Look, here's the thing. If they're smart in this town, what is the reason to come to this town for a tourist? Firehole. Firehole on September 17th.

You like July 4th? Here, you got it. July 4th coming in September. Come see our firehole every September 17th. Put a rib joint right there or like a hot wings. There you go. You know what I mean? Give people huge long skewers and marshmallows and make s'mores off this thing.

You got 40 minutes. You got 40 minutes every year on September 17th. And then remember when like, what was the story we did about where people came to the fields to photograph the sunflowers? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like 17 million people showed up. Oh my God. How many people would come see a fire hole in the middle of Arkansas? More.

I'm in. More. I'm in. More. I'm marching in the flaming of the hole. You got song merch. Here we go. I'm marching in the flaming of the hole. Don Tucker. Terrified of it. You don't need to get away from that.

I have never seen anything like it and never again. That's the story, guys. Speaking of flaming holes, though, I will say, when I was growing up... My wife, just kidding. When I was growing up... A flaming hole felt like a warm blanket. Yes, it always did.

I had a friend's dad who was like a Vietnam vet who was not doing well. He would take us out into the woods looking for holes. For Charlie. And he cut off his thumb one time. No!

In front of me. No! Cut off his thumb. He brought out this big knife. To spite his face. See, I know you're about to say an accident, but I want you to be like, look at this. Greg, you watch. I don't feel anything.

He was like, no, there are caves out here. And he went to cut a switch off a tree. And he basically cut his thumb off. And he was just like, you boys run back to the house and get your mom. I don't know why I thought of that. But I was just like, you know, holes are dangerous. By the way, you're the one who's waiting. Why don't you run back to the house?

Totally. If you want any help whatsoever. You say, all right, man, thumbs up on that idea. Oh, sorry. Sorry. Jason. Jason at Sklar Brothers. You say, all right, man, thumbs up on that idea. Oh, sorry. Sorry. Jason. Jason at Sklar Brothers. All right, there's the show.

Greg Hess. Follow Greg Hess on the old Twitters. Sure. At HeyGregHess. At HeyGregHess and on Instagram. At HeyGregHess. And listen to Live From Here. He does, writes on it.

He does sketches on it. So funny. It is great. It's every Saturday. And rebroadcast on it, he does sketches on it. So funny. It is great. It's every Saturday. And rebroadcast on Sunday. On public radio. But you can find it online as well if you want to see it. Livefromhere.org.

Hopefully we'll go back and do it again. I loved it. It was so much fun doing it. And, dude, Greg Hess. We'll have him back again. And, oh shit, we've got to get back to work. Protect your holes. Dum-dum-dum-dum Dum-dum-dum-dum Dum-dum-dum-dum Dum-dum-dum-dum

Dum-dum-dum-dum Dum-dum-dum-dum Stick around. Make a sound. It's Dumb People Town. It's a good show.