Dumb People Town - Hannah Einbinder - This Woman Has No Ally

Episode Date: July 18, 2023

Comedian and actress Hannah Einbinder sits in as Daniel explains how a groom removed all vegan options from his wedding menu without consulting the bride and Randy tells of a missing British man in Kenya who was found alive in a pub after 4 days, and so much more! Thanks to our sponsors: Fitbod & Lectric Bikes! Get 20% off your subscription at https://Fitbod.me/dpt  Visit https://Lectricebikes.com to learn more and explore the epic models Lectric has to offer.

Thank you. Guys, summer is in full swing, which means there's no better time to get out and explore. And just in time, Electric is bringing you a fast and fresh new ride, the XP 3.0, their latest e-bike model featuring new hydraulic brakes. Rediscover your independence this summer with an XP 3.0 from Electric. Visit electricebikes.com to learn more and explore the epic models Electric has to offer. Dan.

That's L-E-C-T-R-I-C-E-Bikes.com. We want to say a big thank you to our sponsor, FitBod. Look, you are not the same person you were when the year started, so it's natural for your fitness journey to have its ups and downs, right? Wherever you are in your fitness journey,

get the most out of every workout with FitBod. Get 20% off your subscription at FitBod.me slash DPT. That's F-I-T-B-O-D dot M-E slash D-P-T. Hey, townies. Welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population you. Population Einbinder. Hannah.

Einbinder. Einbinder. The third. What's up? The third? Are you the third? Can we make you? Why don't women get the thirds?, Einbinder, the third. What's up? The third? Are you the third? Can we make you? Why don't women get the thirds?

I'm the first and the last. Oh, jeez. Okay, I'm the last Einbinder. They broke the mold, bitches. There's nowhere to go but down from here. Genetically speaking. Nowhere to go but down. The Matt Lauer story.

Oh, yeah. I'm the last heir to the Einb yeah. I'm the last heir. You are. To the throne. I'm the last Einbinder. And it is a throne. There is a throne. It's a great movie.

It's a lazy boy. The last Einbinder is a great movie. It's a lazy boy and it's stained. And it was found on the street on, you know, bulky item pickup day. But it is yours. But it's home. It's family. It's home.

It's family. It's comfy. It's comfy. It's home, it's family, it's comfy. Yes, there's a spring that's going to be up your ass. And yes, when you pull the lever you're all the way back. There is no mid-range. But it's like, if I'm sleeping, let's go all the way back. That's Hannah's new, the title of her new comedy

album, Let's Go All The Way Back. I have a story. Yeah, let's do a story. People do dumb shit. We try and defeat it with comedy and I'm so happy you're here to do this with us. This was sent in by Matthew Friedman, at NotYourAverageMatt. Reminder to all you friends, Dumb People Town hashtag, hashtag Dumb People Town. That's the way to say it. At Squad Brothers, at Daniel Van Kirk.

On Twitter. And we'll find it. It lets us know when you put it in the timeline. We might jump over to threads. We may. We're up on threads. No, guys. Don't do it. No threads. No threads. No, guys. No threads.

Can we end this? Can we just not be doing this? Can we do no social media at all? No social, baby. Let's touch some grass. Same toxic, different Avenger. How will we promote our shows to no one who will come? Alright, so continue. Ready? Yes.

Don't even talk like that. I'm joking. Carrier pigeon. Do you get my pigeon? Ready? Yes. Don't even talk like that. Don't put that in there. I'm joking. Carrier pigeon. Okay, that's actually. That would be. Do you get my pigeon? Are you up on carrier? Are you up on carrier?

Dude, I'm getting. Dude, I got to. I'm verified. I DM'd you on carrier. They should have called it pigeon. Dude, I blocked two crows who were just giving my pigeon so much shit. They were just talking a lot of shit. Guys, we're about to play a game that we love.

I think Randy loves it more than anybody. I love. Who's who's the asshole who's the asshole i love this game so much you know this it's a reddit thing so like am i the asshole am i the asshole and i usually this is what happens to me i change like three times in a story okay i come in that's fun well dan unfolds it so he's like it's like the show alone you know we, we were talking about. New episodes are up on Netflix. Oh, when they drop a bunch of survivalists into the wilderness up in the north. By themselves. And they get you to think you know who's going to win in the first five minutes and you're wrong. Marine.

He has no wife or kids. Oh, remember the guy who faked a heart attack? No. I was like, dude, you're just having a panic attack. You're just having a panic attack. He doesn't know. He didn't fake that. I agree.

He probably didn't know. So there's the guy who has no kids, wife, whatever. In the first day, he builds a two-story house. I'm like, why do you need a two-story house? Why do you need a sunken bath? You know who usually wins? The person who gets very little airtime in the first episode, but you just catch when they say, I love my wife and kids.

I spend a lot of time away from home. You're like, oh, OK. You're already used to this. That's who usually wins. I hate my life more than anybody here so there's a woman who was like there's a guy the guy who's like whittling and you know antlers from a moose he killed from the boat that dropped him off and and he's like he's he's gonna be here forever right and then all of a sudden like five minutes in the first

episode like a tear forms in his eye and he's like that squirrel reminds me of my dead brother we're like he's gone call the boat all the fucking boat he is out of here then meanwhile there's like one woman who's like i don't hunt i just forage for berries we're like do not drop her off do not do not drop meanwhile she lasts more longer than everyone else they forget about her and three seasons later they come back to the same spot and they're like beth oh my oh my god she's still here she's still here she's open to school and how are her pants tight she gained weight she ate 17 berries in a leech in three years all right you ready to do it let's do it based on the headline you can tell me right away if you want who you think the ass okay i will check in vegan bride furious as groom

axes all veggie options from wedding without telling i'm so mad at this groom don't do it screw you you know who she is you like you know who you married do this for her like you don't care we didn't do this story right we didn't do this story no we've done plenty of like wedding we did the wedding one where the bride wanted it to be silent we did the wedding one where the bride and her best friend wanted their dogs to get married at the wedding and the guy was like, we can have a separate ceremony for the dog.

We're having the weirdest Mandela that we did this. So I'm mad. Right now I'm mad at the vegan bride furious as groom axes all veggie options from wedding without telling her the without telling her part is the hard part.

He's the asshole. Trust. You got to trust. It almost the asshole. He is the asshole. Trust. You got to trust him. It almost feels, and I put this story in here, it almost feels like there's no way he isn't going to be the asshole. It's not possible. There must be some turn if I even thought this was good enough. I will tell you how he wouldn't be the asshole.

I'll flip it. Vegan bride is furious at husband for adding a meat option to their menu. All right. Now you're the asshole. If he wants to add a meat option, marriage is about compromise. It's a marriage. You got to compromise. Okay.

Here we go. Who's the asshole? A vegan bride has expressed her anger after her husband-to-be decided to get rid of every vegan option on their wedding menu without telling her, meaning she'll have nothing to eat on her big day. At her own wedding? I was going to say their big day, but hers as well. Yeah, but I mean at her own wedding, the two people. Let's be clear.

It's her big day. It is her big day. Weddings are just, I have realized this, weddings are normal people's one night to be a movie star that's it i say it's same exact it is like this is my red carpet premiere of the movie that i'm starring and i have three outfit changes i have hair and makeup everybody's here for me the camera the dance the ceremony like it is like princess stardom It is like all of that wrapped into one. Like it is obviously a tool that has historically been used to like create ownership over women,

but it has also been spun into this like you're the princess. Yeah. I'm going to take it back. Yeah. Like it's well, but also I would ask anybody who doesn't, you know, subscribe to this philosophy when the groom walks down the aisle, does everyone get up and turn around?

No, they're usually already standing there. They're already standing there. They usually come in from a side door. The groom is like the wrestler in professional wrestling who's in the ring already. Who's already in the ring when they're announcing the other day. He doesn't even have a warm-up jacket. Not only does she walk out, and then she's unveiled. Already in the ring. Steven going's unveiled. Yes. Like. Right.

Already in the ring. Steven gonna lose. Okay. Dave Pohl. Gorgeous Jimmy Garvin against Mike Stone. Right. Like. Rick Scott.

The groom is Mike Stone. Okay. Of course. The woman explains she and most of her family members follow a plant-based diet and she had been planning on adding around four or five vegan dishes to her wedding menu alongside the meat eater option he's the asshole so that everyone had plenty of choice over what they ate yes so that's what a normal freaking person does this is this guy hey listen we're gonna kill the like you know he's she's like close to it we're gonna kill all that we don't need the call we don't need the cauliflower souffle

a like thinly plotted out like rom-com where he's trying to see what he can do to get her to call it all he is a hunting blogger yeah he's like this is not a person who wants to participate in a marriage with her or a marriage at all. At all. What are we doing here? She's waiting for the pre-wedding photos that are supposed to be happening with the bridal party on the beach. She texts him and he's like, I'm on hole 14. I'll be there in like 90 minutes. This is a guy who's like, I'm golfing on my wedding day. If she were to go hey so it's over like we're not getting married and he's like

because of because i didn't want veggies at my fucking wedding i'd go no uh that is obviously an issue it's that you didn't tell me so you and i are supposed to fucking pick out a house together someday we're supposed to pick what school our kids go to he went on like we can't even do this without you telling me dan he went on a podcast and his friends on the podcast are like you you're having what at your wedding and then he's like you're gonna let her boss you around the caterer on this podcast and cut that you're gonna let her boss you around and and put some freaking tofu up at your wedding let me just just say one thing. Like I was vegan for five years. I can report live and say that veganism has changed to a place where like plant focused,

like vegetable focused dishes can be really incredible. Like the cuisine has come so far. Like you can do it without a spot of tofu on the whole thing. We do it in a way that is impossible burger i did when we were in austin texas we went to p terry's and late night i had like a you know a beyond burger an impossible where i couldn't tell i would literally could not tell any person in wisconsin to come eat the nachos at gracia's madre with me and not love them yeah it's the same damn shit okay here we go eat that wisconsin eat that meat blogger he's a meat blogger those wisconsin people know who i'm picturing yeah we do but the woman's fiance and his mom remember because she said she wanted everybody to have

a choice over what to eat but the woman's fiance and his mom were staunchly yeah this is from the mirror but i don't know if she is we're staunchly against the idea claiming that vegan food wasn't real food, and insisting that any guests who didn't want to eat meat could just have a salad instead. I would substitute, your ideas aren't real ideas, honey. I mean, the way that this is such a Republican ideology, like the way that this is political, she's like, I'm eating meat. It ain't real food. Yeah, like what the fuck?

After failing to reach an agreement, the bride-to-be then claimed that her future husband decided to go behind her back and make changes to the menu without telling her, removing all vegan options. In a post on Reddit, which is where this lives. All. She said. When you go to Reddit, that means you're like, I'm looking for some support. Or a conspiracy.

No, no. said when you go to reddit that means you're like i'm looking for some support or a conspiracy oh no no she wants a world a landslide of public support so she can go back to this guy and be like look what the world says you want those too i have receipts of those my fiance and i are getting married soon this is what she wrote there wasn't much that we disagreed on during the wedding planning except for food my family are vegans and there are so many reasons why we chose this lifestyle and one of them being that we have a history of health issues my fiance and his family are the complete opposite they're hardcore meat eaters which is fine by me obviously she's cool with it however when deciding on the wedding food menu i wanted to add four to five vegan options my fiance and his mom objected saying it was a waste of money over food that

quote isn't real food wait who's paying for the wedding that i bet we get to that who's paying for the way they also argued that this would be offensive to their guests who's how is that offensive and suggested by vegan options just be quote the good old salads and appetizers. I mean, I do love a good app. I said no, because for one, it's me and my family who's paying. Oh, snap! This guy doesn't even have age. If you are not watching Dumb People Town, her brain

is about to explode. This guy does not have a tofurky leg to stand on. I'm going to have to go marry her. That's the only way to solve this. We're going to give her her day. We're going to give her her day. I'm going to step in and man up and marry this woman. You'll even allow her to be the bride at that wedding. You're going to stand in a tuxedo at the altar. You don't get to walk down the aisle and have your moment. No problem. You're going to do it for her. It's for her. But you are going to demand

a chuppah. Well well she'd have to convert but yeah that's all she would yeah she'd just have to convert but yeah no i would i'll be a vegan i don't care we're doing we're doing zoodles as a main okay go ahead we'll re-rack i said no because for one it's me and my family who's paying yes two i want to make my guests feel welcome and not be treated as second-class citizens by being served i wouldn't sell it second-class citizens she's gonna understand how problematic that is when she realizes her jewish hair my fiance she said we don't want to be second class citizens uh by being served salad she must have said that

in quotes because she said my fiance made a face and said isn't that what vegans eat have you guys ever talked have you been in the same have you lived in your fridge i don't want a victim blame but at some point in this story i'm gonna start wondering what got you this far with like the kurt braunler bit about the woman who had a hundred thousand bees in her wall. Ten wasn't enough. Fifteen didn't get you out of your chair. We got in here buzzing at fifteen. Fifty-five thousand? You didn't ask a neighbor, do you hear that?

We had ten thousand bees outside of our house. Which, by the way, is what Malcolm Gladwell says is how many bees you need in order to master the bee situation. That's the tipping point. Ten thousand bees. I didn't understand it. No, but we had like a bunch of bees were flying around outside.

And I'm like, I think there's a problem. And then we called the beekeeper over and he's like, you got 10,000 bees in here. That was 10,000. So like, you're clearly not paying attention to the science as Kurt Bronner would brilliantly say.

So yeah, so many, you got this. How badly do you need to be married that you got it, that you're putting up with this asshole i refuse to argue about it and said it was final she was adding these options yes the woman then confronted her husband-to-be who claimed that she had failed to accommodate his family with her menu even though there were always meat options available at some point she had to

say you're being impossible about this you're're being beyond. This is an issue in our society globally. Why do you care how someone lives their life if it doesn't infringe on you? That's why I'm saying it's Republican. This is the problem. People who are like, I paid off all my student loans. They shouldn't get theirs free. Dan. Why do you care that someone else's life is made better that didn't

doesn't negatively affect yours not abolish straight marriage that's right so i think what people are seeing right now is that people who are victims and actual victims are receiving a lot of attention and so the people who are not victims are like, wait, I want some of that victim attention. I'm a victim here. I'm a victim. Your choices, even though they don't eliminate my choices, make me a victim.

Pay attention to me. It's all about attention. But I get if somebody goes, fuck, I wish I didn't pay mine. I'd be like, I hear you. Things change. And now people going forward, aren't you happy they change. And now this is the ultimate going forward. Don't you happy? They won't have the struggle you have.

Dan, I would say to that person and anybody who's offended by whatever plate is sitting in front of them, by whatever plate are being ordered at this place, what is sitting in front of you? Probably a T-bone steak. Do you care three tables over that there's like a different thing sitting in front of another person? How does that affect what you're eating? This is the metaphor. This story is that we are seeing fascism at play. This is fascism.

You can't be against things like what people want to eat that doesn't affect you. You can't be against people getting student loan forgiveness, which they'll probably just keep lying about so that I keep voting for them. You can't get those. You can't be mad at those things and love the movie. It's a Wonderful Life. Nope. You can't. You cannot. Because what about all those people in fucking George Bailey's house?

Your money's put in his house. It was good. It was good. Okay. I'm just fighting the urge to do my I know, Dan. I know you are, Dan. I sense it bubbling up and going for it. You know what? I'm gonna

overcome. Do it. Okay, here we go. No, I'm mad that you did it. You took his thing, Dan. I'm sorry. Where was I? Paid. She paid. She paid. So her and her family paid. I said, no no i really lost where i was good old appetizers no here i got it okay okay she confronted them with a family menu even though

they were always meetups available she added i called him at work i called him at work but he kept hanging up on me oh i went straight to his workplace and confronted him there and just flipped out on him. He was stunned to see me. He was stunned to see me. You're a woman who drove herself here? Yeah, literally. Literally. He, quote, he at first said it was his mom's idea.

By the way, if I were her friend, if she was my best friend, I would say, do not go to work and go off on him. Also, don't go to the church. Don't go to work and go off on this guy. That is not, even though you have every right to, this is not going to help you out in the sense that go off on him, not at work. Cause you don't want him to then turn to other people and be like, see, this is what she is.

See, hysterical, crazy over here. Don't give him any fodder. Your point is correct. Let's pick the right time to do this. He at first said it was his mom's idea, then told me to go home because I was making a scene at the office. The fight continued at home, and he defended himself by saying that I sort of made him resort to doing this after I kept brushing off his thoughts and input and refusing to accommodate his family. The only part that's relevant is the last part. You did this because

I didn't accommodate your asinine fucking wishes. That's why. She did. You know why I brushed you off? Because the conversation was over when I said I'm not doing that. His family is pushing. This is what I feel. There's no way it comes back to his side. His family is like, if you give in on this, you're gonna give in on everything. And that's how marriage works.

You give in on things and they give in on things. Also, this isn't even a given thing. I know. I agree. You're going to be sleeping in pink pajamas in a feather bed and be married to a pig. Sounds literally awesome. I agree. Pink pajamas.

Sounds great. In a feather bed. She keeps writing. But there were plenty of meat options why can't i get four or five vegan options when i'm paying for it he yelled that it was his wedding too not my family's my family said it was fine and they'll figure it out and told me to let it go her family told her to let it go what i refused good good for you this woman has no ally what's the dowry on this like what is this about this is she then

asks am i the asshole for putting my foot down not at all not at all i've got an update oh come on oh shit do you think they got i don't even know i don't remember do you think they ended up getting married no no way no i pray to god they did or the only way one ceremony two separate receptions hey thank you the it's like no i'm joking they only have two bathrooms yeah update so his this is what she wrote so his mom messaged me this is after she posts on us earlier trying to get me to listen to what she had to say after i kept ignoring her phone calls she spent she came down to my work she sent long walls of text to to just to address what i did at her son's workplace caps calling it all kinds of stuff from immature to unhinged do you want to uh guess what else is that a long

wall of text she then went to explain how she's noticed that me and my family kept acting dismissive of her son's input and contributions to the wedding. And then I would just write back to that text, what input? You know what I'd write back? Unsubscribe. Stop in capital.

New phone, who dis? This customer is no longer interested in reserving this this correspondence take it to facebook bitch type stop she said that she noticed my behavior towards him and her entire family and wanted to speak up earlier but didn't and oh she's such a great person yeah and tried to keep the peace she then went on to address the food menu issue and denied her involvement in the cancellation of the vegan option but that didn't mean she doesn't support her son's decision moreover she thought it was so responsible of him to make that move because of my continual refusal to see how this stuff is a waste of money can i guess the next paragraph so after the honeymoon i said i'm not texting your

mom yeah right yeah i can't wait to see their vows i mean she also pointed out how i kept saying i paid for it yeah because that you did so fucking relevant yeah and said that's a fact that's the shutdown argument that's the end technically this isn't just my money it's mine and his because we're getting married not yet she suggested i wisen up and get rid of my, and get rid of quote, my money. I paid for it. Mentality. So how things work.

So if I'm her, I say all of this sounds great. Thank you for sending this note. This is the last, you will not see your grandchildren. Oh my God. Oh my God. As you go into your grave, wishing you not see your grandchildren. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. As you go into your grave wishing you had met your grandchildren,

and as they're lowering your casket into the grave, as they're lowering your dead boats into the grave, everyone around will be like, what was her relationship with her grandchildren? She didn't have one! Yeah, your grave sounds only going to say wife, mother. Yes. It's not going to say that.

The survive list in your obituary is going to be very short. It's going to say grandmother crossed out. No, when your grandkids say, where are you going today this Sunday morning, mom? Say, I'm meeting a friend for a thing. Yeah. Your funeral. I'm going to a party you're enjoy being a member of the Red Hat Society and not talking

about she finally mentioned how bad this whole situation is making me look and said that she and her son had already offered a number of compromises that I chose to brush off and decided to make it a weird or I decided

to make it my weird hill to die on weird so much condensation oh god condensation and can't love it condescended Dan for his no I wanted it she said that not only her son is upset oh I care

but she and the family are as well after hearing about it and suggested i just agree on their compromise and be done with a weird hill to die on you're dying on your hill this pissed me off beyond belief sure i responded by letting her know that i'm still standing my ground on this even if i have to call the whole wedding off because of please because of it because honestly this is just ridiculous. My mom and dad, they don't even know what to say anymore. Apparently, my fiance saw my response to her. They're too weak for only eating vegan food.

Apparently, my fiance saw my response to her because he's with her right now and is now trying to call me. But right now, I'm waiting on him to get home and see if he's still insisting on the stance he took. Wait, she's giving him a lot of chances. That's too much leeway. But right now I'm waiting on him to get home and see if he's still insisting on the stance he took. Wait, she's giving him a lot of chances. That's too much leeway. At some point she is an idiot. She's also dumb.

This really upsets me because it just speaks to like how many women clearly feel that they need to get married. They need to get married. To fill some sort of a void. That's right. To meet some sort of a standard. How could right. To meet some sort of a standard. How could I risk the embarrassment of calling off a wedding? How could I, you know, like...

All the invitations are already out. Really fear-based motivations for life choices that are so big and that they would put themselves in a situation that is so deeply disrespectful. In three years, and I'm being generous, in three years, no one will care what your wedding was like and no one

will care that you called it off. And I'm being generous. If people love you, they'll go, oh yeah, great, thank God. Good for you. You dodged a meat-flavored bullet. We'll get out of here on this. How old? How old are they? Are they the same age

That was the update So we're now fighting with the mom How old are they both Are they the same age I'll go first and then you can go either second or third She's 34 And he's

29 Five years split there. She's vegan. Her whole family's vegan. His family, they're still... I love that she's doing the math in her head out loud. His family's Arby's. This is like a beautiful mind. Carry the two. Did you say carry the two? I did.

Carry the two. I love about you. I'm going to go ahead and say that she is 32 and he is 35

35, 32 and I think the other way 29 is the guy and 34 is the guy 30 is the guy 27 is the guy and 34 is the guy. 30 is the guy. Okay. 27 is the woman. Okay. The ages, I will give them an order of him and then her. Okay. R, get

your answers in now, Tony. Also, I'm very curious. I don't want you to like, I'm not going to interact with you, but if you think he's right, I would love to hear a case. Make the case. Make the case. I just want to know if there's any person... I'm not happy for them if they are this person, but if there's any person who thinks he's right,

that would also blow my mind. Blow my mind. Okay. He is 31. Oh, I said 30. You said 30. She is 25. Oh, I said 27.

That's explaining a lot. Girl. They can't get married. This cannot happen. I'll be over my dead body. I'm referring to the guy when I'm like, girl. 31, 25. He's a boy who needs to grow up and she's a girl who has her whole life in front of her.

Girl, you're 25, girl. You have so much ahead of you. You don't need this. Go have a summer. There you go. That's story number one down in the books. You don't need this. Go have a summer. All right, there you go. That's story number one down in the books. When we come back, we'll find out what everybody here is doing and everybody has going on so you can follow, support, watch, and love this Dumb People Town with our lovely, lovely

friend, Hannah Einbinder, who I love, love, love. I'm so happy she's here. We'll be right back. Stick around. Make us down. There's more Dumb People Town. I'm so happy she's here. We'll be right back. Hey guys, want to talk about our wonderful sponsor FitBod. Look, wherever you are in your fitness journey, you made goals and you hadn't hit them. Maybe you life was busy.

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way. And to me, it's been, it's been so fun because they track your progress in a good way. But also, but like the thing you were saying about like uh kind of finding yourself like in a rut or like the stuff you were doing like wasn't enough that happens for people who like work out a lot too where i'm like i just do 30 minutes on elliptical and then i do buys and tries or whatever yes and you kind of like plateau they help you with that because fitbots powerful technology understands your strength training ability studies your past workouts and adapts your available gym equipment. So you can keep your gym sessions fresh and fun by mixing up your workouts.

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slash d-p-t do it so summertime is here and we're all sort of figuring out ways that we can just get out and have around have fun and get places and experience really cool things i know dan you're having the best time with your brand new electric e-bike you love it so much and tell them how you're using it yeah oh i'm using it in my dreams okay and real life at my cabin in wisconsin amazing okay first of all it is so light i easily got it in the car and got it up there foldable some of them can the model uh the model that i haven't done but i always tell people about that one you can get so great yeah you can add on like an extra seat onto it so you can have somebody ride in the back you can add baskets to

it you can get a great like i have a great like i ordered a a great like cell phone holder i upgraded because we're up in the cabin at the woods i upgraded the headlight for it the one that comes on though though is awesome. Like I, that might've been a little bit of overkill, but you never know what these deer. And you might be going fast, Dan.

Dude, you. So the way it works, right. Is like, if you're on like the zero setting, you're pedaling more to keep the motor generated. And then you can go up to the five setting to where you don't do anything

except turn the throttle. And yeah, you can go, I'm going over like 20 miles an hour. The, an hour the the batteries and you can also add an extra one but even the one they did like two weeks without me having to recharge it amazing it really is just like it's a game changer it's like what it is it is one of those things where i was like i'm glad i waited because i got electric but i'm like why did my family not have one of these so much like everything is so much more fun if you need

to run to the store to get something right away you're like i got it taken go down to the lake and back going for a ride and you know what else is really cool my aunt and uncle in their 60s they as soon as i went for a first run they both hopped on it and went for runs i love it aunt connie didn't come back for like 10 minutes we're like where did you go she may never come back but you know at first they were like okay how's this work but instantly on it and loving it oh yeah so i want to tell you about the eggs so great the xp really are great worth every penny amazing most popular e-bike in the industry newly rely reimagined starting at $999, 28 mile per hour top speed, which is trucking. New hydraulic brakes for smoother stopping experience.

Look, they have all types of bikes for you. As Dan mentioned, the kind that fold, the kind that you can keep adding details. You want to zip around. You want to have a little fun. That XP is perfect. If you've got a family or stuff you want to take around, do a grocery stuff. And a cargo basket. The cargo expedition

series that's what i have it is so great so tell them what to do right now so i will tell you guys what to do rediscover your independence this summer with an xp 3.0 from lectric you visit lectric ebikes.com to learn more and explore these epic models lectric has to offer that's lectric l-e-c-t-r-i-c e-bikes.com you're gonna you will love it yeah stick around make it sound there's more don't people tell hey guys welcome back to the show before we get into how you can support hannah einbinder who is just having a wonderful lovely i don't know what do we call it an arab spring it's just like a it's this no absolute blossoming it is a deserving uh moment that's extending into an awesome awesome i'm so

happy for her we got to tell her what's going on with us so that we can you guys can come see us i don't know when this is dropping i honestly don't know but hey hey on the 24th uh at dynasty typewriter we're doing two shows. Jay will explain right now. Yes, it is a two-man show that we have written, a stage show based around our stand-up. And really, we are spending an hour and a half making the case for choosing to be a parent by showing you how shitty it is to be a parent.

So that's in the show, and it surrounds around a story about our lives, about our identities being swapped in 50 years, trying to figure out who we are and also our parents role and the effect it had on them. So it's a, it's a kind of, we loved writing it and now we get to perform it. We're very excited. We all have friends who have done this type of a show and to varying degrees of success and all those things have inspired us. Alex Edelman, you know mike berbiglia

neil brennan these are all shows we look to we're like wow what a great way to sort of drop in stand up in stories and all that other stuff with a message going through so we're very proud of this excited and maybe someday it too will have a run off broadway or back here we're not sure but this is the beginning we're doing tag it at It at the Comedy Store on the 19th. You're on that show, yes or no? Are you on that show? She did that show. You already did the show. I did Tag It. You did Tag It. She's on the show. Dan's on the show. It's great.

We're doing it at Largo on August 1st. We're going to be at the Rec Room down in Huntington Beach. We have a lot of stuff. Superschoolers.com. Check it out. Let's just go to Dan. Guys, go to DanielVanKirk.com. I will be in austin boston houston vegas uh chicago and the chicago show is on 11 11 that is my album taping and love and recording so uh so special taping and album recording 11 11 two shows at the

lincoln lodge that's a saturday night i'm making a wish that you will all be there. I'm making a wish. Everything else is up at danielvankirk.com. And if you're local, you can check out Irene 2 and Minds. Minds? My. Show. Best Bet Comedy. We're doing that over at UCV. So fun.

We've done it. Just a good UCV. Franklin? Yes. Yes. Yes. As of right now. So check that out.

Go to danielvankirk.com. All right. Hannah. Yeah. I'm only on Instagram. Great, great. We follow you. That's just my name, Hannah Einbinder.

Go follow her. You got dates or stuff this fall? Yeah, I'm actually, oh yeah, I'm going on tour. See? Yeah, I was like, I guess. Yeah, I'm going on tour. All the tickets and dates and places are on my website. Love it.

Which is hannaheinbinder.com which is hannahandbetter.com. hannahandbetter.com. Go see her live. Phenomenal. I mean, that's what's so cool. You know, we love a good bit.

You know, I love a good act out and I love a good Dan. I mean, it's, so you have, this is what I love about comedy. We have three very differing, kind of differing styles of comedy.

Dan, you're a raconteur. You tell the best stories ever. Jay and I, when we tell a thing, we act out and do basically a little scene and everything. Your deconstructions are so great. Her conceptual bits and sort of the act outs that she does are so unique and so good.

If she is coming to a city near you, please go see her. Go see her. HannahEinbinder.com. Thanks, y'all. All right, so I've got the final story. i'm going to bring us home you ready you guys ready sent by in by jake groney at jake groney g-r-o-n-i-e jakey jake british man who went missing in kenya found in pub after four days why would you not check there check the pub guys number one spot british man goes missing check all the pubs that's my first thing they love to drink they love to where's the last place you saw it's a famous

thing about them and you know what and they famously and beautifully fulfill that prophecy but was he drinking there for four days a british man who was missing for four days has been found drinking in a pub well that is the question so. So I think more people are found missing because of how connected we are with cell phones and with, like, I think back in the day, guy we don't hear from from three or four days, no one's worried until it becomes two weeks. Oh, yeah. Like now. I mean, this is like devil in the white city. It just used to be like people who left the rural communities and went into the city. You understood when they left. You just may never hear from them.

Right. And we don't know if they may happen and you'll never know. And you just live the rest of your life. So they pop up. Or maybe they went and lived a whole new life. But now, yes, there's a lot more connectivity. So, but I do. For better and worse.

Randy and I on 4th of July went to our cousin's house down in Mission Viejo and it was so fun and so sweet right before the fireworks right before the fireworks so like the thing we're building towards and they have and my my wife and my daughter and my son and in randy's whole family or minus his daughters at camp we're all there and all these people are there excited to see the fireworks which are right over their house it's so great so close and someone's like where's the dog the other dog there's one of the two dogs and we're like i cannot find the dog anywhere this is before right before the fireworks so you know that's gonna freak them out so so now yeah then the fireworks start and it's like well you're

never gonna find this dog you're like you're never gonna find this dog so we're running up and down the street and we're walking around the house like the scene from boogie nights where like the firecrackers are being guys dropping firecrackers and we're running around panicked and then like i stopped to watch the fireworks for like 30 seconds with my kids but i also don't want to seem like i'm not caring about this dog that's missing but i do want to watch fire by the way postscript we did find the. He was at a pub in Kenya. Which is so weird. And it didn't take us four fucking days. He is an English Bulldog. But I like that he wasn't Kenyan.

He's an Irish Senator. Obviously, he was wasted. So, we did find the dog, thankfully. But it completely ruined the fireworks. And for an hour and a half, we all were like, the dog, thankfully. But this is like, but it ruined. It completely ruined the fireworks. And for an hour and a half, we all were like, this dog is gone. I'm like, I think an eagle flew down and picked it up. Maybe. Maybe.

That was my theory. Eagle picked him up. I'm going to tell you this British man's name. And you're going to be like, this is the most British name I've ever heard in my entire life. Okay. Bartleby. Bartleby. Bottle drink. Bartleby. Bartleby. Bottle drink.

Bartleby McKenzie. Bartleby McKenzie. Is this fucked up? Yeah. You're British people. Yeah. Whatever. Whatever.

Whatever. Bartleby. Bartleby McKenzie. Can I guess even though I know them? I have to go last. Yeah. I have to go last. Dan. I have to go last. Dan, you got one?

What's his name? I mean, Rutherford. Rutherford. Scotchman. I'm going to say Anglo-Saxon. You just got to commit. All right. What's the British name that you're thinking anything i'm

gonna say william uh william buckle buckleton's worth i say rupert rupert pendleton also my people very good sorry guys nelson newberry i mean come on two streets and since the since tuesday the britain had not been seen since heading out to get a sim replacement oh i see how this happened yeah i gotta get my phone's not working so then he got sidetracked he got more sidetracked than anyone this is a dude who's like from the minute he bought his new iphone thing he was having problems with it like he got a bum iphone from the beginning they gave me a bum yeah what can i do detectives from the crime research and intelligence bureau stormed a pub on the outskirts of nairobi where they found mr newberry sharing mugs of local beer why do you need to storm that

pub yeah was that really necessary to like we could walk through the door we don't need to storm no you storm a pub i think he was in kenya the kid has been since you've been he's kid who reunited with his father who flew out to kenya to meet his son and i'm sure he was happy to outlay the money to do that yeah in this day and age and in this economy. Yeah. He has also taken the hospital for treatment. An image shared by Kenya's Directorate of Criminal Investigations appeared to show Mr. Noonberry with some facial injuries. This would be, to me, a great movie script. Four days in Nairobi?

Come on, I'd do that. A British citizen who's been missing since Tuesday has been found by detectives. Finally, our long national nightmare is over. They wrote that? No, that's what I say. The 22-year-old man identified as Nelson Mnubar was found at a local pub in Ituru. Wait, he was in Kenya.

So this is my thing. I would love it if they found him and they did like a medical check on him. And he has like three kidneys now. Right. Like he's got an extra i'm gonna show you a picture of the kid who got found so there he is with in a dior shirt in a dior shirt and his dad and he has no on the right that's just future age miles teller wait a second so he's kind of beaten up do you know wait a minute what happened so something happened

like to me what would be fucked up and awesome this is what make a good movie is if he doesn't know what happens and he's got to figure out it's like it's like kind of the african hangover yeah exactly right so let's so he was lost no one checked all the pubs maybe because they don't know where the pubs are in like or he was or he got kidnapped or something happened to him and he broke free and remember doing moshe kasher's show and his friend talked about being kidnapped in like mexico or somewhere like that and it was i mean he talked escaped from being kidnapped and walked back to the road locked up abroad type stuff yeah he? Yeah. He was like, he had no shoes and he

walked like 50 miles and I mean, it's insane. So maybe that happened to this kid, but they found him. How old? We'll get out of here on this. Okay. How old is Nelson Newberry? You already saw the picture of him, but how old do you think he is? 18. 18? What do you think? 22. 24.

One of you is exactly right. He's 22. You think he's 22? You want to stay on 24? Are you sticking you think? 22. 24. One of you is exactly right. He's 22. You think he's 22? You want to stay on 24? Are you sticking on 18? Okay. Get your answers in, townies, because Nelson Newberry is 22 years old.

Oh, Daniel. Do you like how I looked at her and it was his thing? I had a feeling it was me the whole time. You had a feeling like that. So that is it. So I guess, listen, I mean. Check the pub. Check the pub.

Check the pub. That should be the first thing. This is what we learned today. Check the pub. Check that pub for heat. Check your followers. And check to make sure that your husband isn't going to like. Future husband.

Yeah, your future husband isn't going to get rid of all your vegan options at your wedding. Wild. That you're paying for. That you're paying for. That you're paying for. There you go. That is a show. If you're in the. That you're paying for. There you go. That is a show. If you're in the fall,

go see Hannah Einbinder on tour. Go see Daniel on all the dates that he's doing. Go see his taping in Chicago. Taping in Chicago, 11-11. We're not going to forget that. And then come see us. We have a bunch of dates and stuff. We love you guys.

And oh shit, we got to get back to work. Peace. Bye. Stick around. Make us down. There's more Don't People Town. Peace. Bye.