Dumb People Town - Holly Laurent & Greg Hess - Fixing and Laying Pipe

Episode Date: February 23, 2021

This week Holly Laurent & Greg Hess come to town to hang with Daniel, Jason and Randy. The first story is about a landlord that pitches their tent in the backyard. The second story is about a porch pirate getting trapped by snow. The final story is about the best excuse for being rude.

Skypains Avenue Hey townies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population you. Population Hesslerant. Hesslerant. Greg Hess. Holly Lerant. Hi, guys. Hey.

Hello. I mean, Hesslerant does sound like a very high-end brand that you find at Filene's basement. Yeah. But you are so happy that it's discounted. Yeah. Do you guys have the Hesslerant watches in? You don't? No. I'm sorry. What year's discounted. Do you guys have the Heslarant watches in? You don't? No.

I'm sorry, what year is this Heslarant? I'd like to smell the entire bottle. I'd like to smell the cork. I'd like to eat the cork. Is that okay? Of course. It's so delish. It's delish.

It's so good to be here, guys. I don't know if I wish Greg was from the gasoline chain or the wine chain, but he's from neither. He's from neither. The gasoline chain would have been good. I know. A young oil baron is always kind of a cool thing to be in 2021. You know how, like your,

which is my favorite thing, is you doing your mom. You know what? Yeah. You know what? You know what? There's a Hess construction in Rochelle, Illinois, and I was always raised in rochelle illinois and i was always raised

in rochelle lore to be taught that it stood for holidays evenings saturdays and sundays i'm just that's that's when they work that's so funny yeah no yeah i'm having a holly's mom i'm just imagining holly's mom calling holly to tell her that she just realized that greg is not related to the oil bear you know what you know what you know what i just you know what how i was going right by the gas station and i'm sitting there looking at the sign and it says has just clear as day and i says you know what i never even asked greg if his family gets a lot of money because they're charging an arm and a leg for gasoline now there would be riots in the street. And you remember Ann Corkery.

She accidentally slipped and had like one of the things that you, you know, pump the gas with. It went around her neck and it choked her to death. Yeah, she was decapitated. She died. She died right there at a Hess gas station. And you know what? After she slipped and fell to her death, I thought, you know what? I'm going to slip some olives into this casserole that would be good wouldn't that yeah that would

be really that would be an unexpected coming home for the holiday yeah i do have to tell you this is a real one that she said to me a couple weeks ago because she's like unfortunately a fox newser and she goes how you know what she goes they're talking about all these COVID deaths. But you know what? The truth is that 30% of these deaths, 30% of them, were also fatal gunshot wounds who happened to have COVID too. Fatal gunshot wounds. Fatal gunshot wounds. You're not even counting the grazings.

The grazings are always the best. They're just trying to stack up the numbers, Hal. Well, that's a great segue, Holly, as we get into kind of like the world getting dumber. And you've both been on this podcast. And I think since the last time that you've been on until now, it's gotten dumber. Has the world gotten even dumber?

Even since yesterday? Oh, 100%. 100%, guys. Now that we're all locked inside, I think that your brain eats itself. So I can attest. I've gotten dumber. Right.

So yeah. So that is happening to us. Yeah. Like that. We don't factor that in because like there's less for us to do. I feel like we're less nimble. Like we, we don't have to even have that moment on the street where you're walking and like you have to dance to one side while the other person dances to the other.

We're not even doing that. You're not even sharp in those ways. I mean, I don't, my road rage thing, I got cut off the other day and I didn't even have the good, like a guy yelled asshole at me and I didn't even have the good comeback. I just was like, no.

No, you're right, I am. That is, yeah, that's right. We gotta get sharper. We gotta get sharper. Well, we get these awesome stories sent to us and we're just going to go through three of them with you guys, two of them with you guys, and then a special guest in the third segment.

So shall we jump in, Dan? You ready? Let's do it. Sent in by Carlene McDermott at SheBeCarlene. It's my favorite handle, SheBeCarlene. Put it on a shirt. You down with SBC, you know Carlene. SheBeCarlene.

Okay. Here's the headline. Put it on a shirt. You down with SBC? You know Carlene. She be Carlene. Okay. Here's the headline. Landlord pitches tent and sets up camp in tenant's backyard. So he had got a boner in their backyard. It says garden, but that's only because we're in the UK, I believe. But yeah, landlord pitches tent and sets up camp in tenant's back garden. Oh no, we're in Australia. So they pitch a tent and setting up camp in someone's back garden. Oh no, we're in Australia. So they they like somebody tent and setting up camp in someone's back garden. Is that that is that anal

sex? Am I wrong? We don't set up camp. It's more you move in and move out at a pace. Everybody agrees. You're gonna be there for a while. The way these Brits say stuff, it's hard to tell. You're always kind of having to translate. Yeah, for sure. I found out, Holly, I steered you wrong. This is Australia. say stuff. It's hard to tell. You're always kind of having to translate. But it's clever. Holly, I steered you wrong. This is Australia as I look at the first sentence. Still applies. He got into her back garden and then he made s'mores. What is that?

That is anal. That's definitely anal. Australia is just criminal Britain though. Criminal Britain. Criminal Britain should be a show. Criminal Britain was my rap name back way back in a i guys, some criminal britain, no, i'm a top man, a couple of come in the back door, leave us some more also for anybody counting that top man reference was solely for jason sclar and his love of vanderpump rules

correct a couple in austral Australia were stunned when their landlord suddenly pitched up in their backyard and started camping there. Having received this is one of my favorite parts of this story, having received a tax on Christmas night announcing the new set up. It is Christmas night. Oh my God and it's they hear the little buzz of the phone. They look and it's like I live in the backyard. Now you're still my tenant. Who's texting me on Christmas night? Also, what's happening in your

life that this was the day that had to happen or was the best day for it? Is this just a domino effect of like did he get if was he was he the tenant of another landlord? He got evicted and now he's going to his landlord. Or he's going to his tenant.

Early jump on his resolutions to spend more time outside. Yep. That's right. I got to go camping more. But to me, this is like a parent coming to their kid and asking for money. Yeah. Listen, I'm a little light this month. I know you're seven, but can just like break that bank open and let's

i know you just had a birthday but like what are you gonna do with that money i mean you don't need it like there's so much more time in your life to make money yes but he's there he's probably banking on the fact that like that is the christmas story is that mary and joseph are wandering they have nowhere to go there's no room to go. There's no room in the yard. There's no room in the flat. Plays to stay for the night. You can't say no. This is Jesus.

Jesus. The tent is the manger and Mary was getting anal. Is that right? As a Jew, I don't know what that... Okay, fine. That's the Immaculate Conception.

It was anal and then it produced Jesus. That's right. That's why she was still... Thank you. Thank you very much. Nikki and William. That's why she was still... Thank you. Thank you very much. Nikki and William. That's all they give.

Nikki and William from Yamba in New South Wales. Okay. New South Wales is in... Not Australia. That's in England. That's England. That's England. Why is it saying...

Well, they're Australian. No, New South Wales is Australia. We have confirmation from the judges. New South Wales is Australia. Yes. Yeah. Dang. But Wales, Britain. It sounds English. australian no new south wales is australia we have confirmation from the australia yes yeah damn but wales wales britain it sounds english yes guys it doesn't matter i'm you gotta remember from new south wales it's me criminal britain criminal britain coming up next the streets the streets uh nicky and william yes in australia uh in new south wales they live in a rental

property with their three kids so we got five people in this house but like we're doing the best we can guys as long as we've got our nice backyard look light times are tough right now we've got three kids we can't go out anywhere thank God we have a backyard to ourselves. Hey, hun, look in the backyard. Just look in the backyard. I think our landlord is pitching a tent. Don't you get the texts? Are you on the text chain? Are you on the text chain?

It's hard as a diamond in the backyard right now. Guys, don't you get the text is the type of thing that a husband would say to a wife or a wife would say to a husband that would start an enormous fight. Oh, I get the texts. You know I'm on the chain. Do you read them?

I'm right after you, you asshole. Do you read them? No, I read them. Yeah, I know how to. So I just thought maybe you forgot how to read. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.

If you need me to read them out loud to you. But they were surprised when a new housemate appeared in their back garden after living in the house for how long? How long had they been living in this apartment? We're going to let you guys guess for fun before their landlord said, I'm here now to three months, three months. Greg, what do you think? Three years, three years. Jay, I'm going to say a year and a half. Okay, I'm going to say six months. Greg, what do you think three years, three years j? I'm going to say

a year and a half. Okay, I'm going to say six months. Okay, they had been living in the house for two months way to go. They're still away with. They're still within that house hunters house hunters international, like how I was going to know the how is it going now, like where they well we've been in the house for two months. Our landlord lives here, too. It's so weird in the lease. I know. It's so weird in the lease.

There's a weird squatter's rights for the landlord. For the landlord? It's really bizarre. Possession is... But with the children in COVID, it's good to have a back garden for them to play. Oh, no! Mike's back there.

We've got one-fifth of a garden. He's pooping in the bird feeder. Landlord Pascal Hubert and her partner, whose name they never give, had pitched a tent on Christmas night. Wait, did you say Pascal and her partner? Yes, Pascal Hubert and her partner.

So Pascal is a woman in this series, or maybe identifies as a woman. I also think you could reverse the names and it could be the man. Hubert Pascal. 100%. Hubert Pascal, a hundred percent Hubert Pascal and her partner pitch a ten on Christmas night and have refused to leave ever since Hubert had sent a text

to notify the couple of their arrival saying quote dear Nicky and William. I am the owner of the of this address. I will be occupying the backyard of this address as of tonight. Wow, that's it. And then we have a photo to show you of what's

going on in the backyard. Yes, so everybody will get a good look at it. I mean, that's a full that's almost a yurt. That's a circus tent. Yes, it is in a surf in a surf wagon. Yeah, they're not. Nobody says they aren't a good time. Yeah, this is and the truck. They just pulled right up through the yard.

By the way, it looks like a nice neighborhood. It is. Nice houses. And it looks suburban. Doesn't it look crazy suburban? What is this? And it kind of looks like a nice tent. Like he has money for a nice tent.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I don't really understand. Like I would understand if the landlord was like, you're not paying your rent, so guess what? I'm moving in the backyard. Until you give me six months of back rent i'm not leaving the backyard like it feels like it's a statement thing on friday he got the email i'm staying in the backyard wow i feel good

nicki and william say the whole experience has been traumatic and nobody can help them claiming the landlord has also filmed them while they have been inside the home. That's worth fighting over speaking to channel nine's a current affair. Awesome to hear the current affairs living on. Yeah, was that more? Was that more? A povich at one point current affair was more poach, and then I think it was Bill O'Reilly. Really? I think he was part of that. Bill O'Reilly was having an affair. Oh, I'm sorry. Having an affair.

He's currently having an affair. He was not the host of Current Affair. Speaking of Nine's Current Affair, Nikki said, it's been how many days of them living in the backyard? It's completely bizarre to everybody we tell. Now, you know it started on Christmas Day, but you don't know when this article came out. How long do you think

they've been living in the backyard? You guys can guess in any order you like Greg. I think I'm going the I'm thinking this is the beginning of the pandemic. So I'm going ten months. They moved in beginning of the pandemic. I love it. I'm just like I want you to know full

disclosure. It started this past Christmas. Oh, this past. Yes, so it can't be 10 months, but it feels like it. I don't want to steer you wrong. I don't want to steer you wrong. Okay, I still don't know time, so I'm still going 10 months.

All right, 10 months. We got a flat circle on our hand over here. These are tent months. Tent months. One month in a tent is 10 months in regular time. That's right. It's not bad. Well, let's see.

25th, so there were six days left in January. Then there was, or in December. So six, 36 plus 28. What's the, every day since Christmas. How many days is that? What are we at today? We're at the 31 plus 11. 12.

11. 42. 42. Plus six, that'd be 48. Okay, 48 days. Dan got smarter. He's like beautiful-minded. I'm going to say 30 days.

30 days. 30 days. I'm going to say they took a couple days off. I'm going to say 40 days. 40 days. Speaking to 9 to Current Affair, they said that this has been going on for

eleven days just long enough for you to still really be scared like nobody said into a routine yet. You haven't waved at each other and then wonder if you're still mad. Dan was asking us was when did this article come out? Police and real estate don't know

what to do. Our children are terrified they keep asking who are they terrified this is they keep asking who are they and we can't give them answers why can't you tell they own this house but they're not supposed to be here that's the answer they're missing a huge opportunity here they need to deploy those kids those kids are the way they're going to get rid of that's right use your kids oh yeah let. Oh, yeah. Let them outside all day, every day. All day, every day. Play with them. Look, a tent.

Oh, my gosh. Yes. Just unleash them. Give them blocks. Give them remote control cars with sirens. Make so much noise. Scream. Run around and scream, kids.

Run around. Put a trampoline out there. Trampolines make everybody in the neighborhood mad. Put a trampoline and have them go out at like 5 45 in the morning wake up early kids get on out there now i'm going to show you guys a picture of nicky and william make some noise i'm not victim blaming at all but william if i told you william was pascal you go okay all right let's look at this we'll bring it up okay no that is a that is a casual and intense mullet at the same time.

Exactly. Hey, guys. That guy's the best. I got to let you know that the first thing I did in the pandemic was I cut my hair exactly like that. No, you did not. You deserve to have squatters. You deserve it. I had long hair, and I was just like, screw it.

And I cut the most egregious mullet right there. What did it feel like? And I had it for about three months. Freedom? Yeah, exactly. It truly felt like I was never more myself and also i'd never had felt more unemployed and you could win any carnival game just on skill right totally yes totally you get just like a carny pass where you get like the nod from guys that you go by that

are in certain types of cars you just walk about you feel like all lives mattered at that point i thought yeah i mean i felt like my life didn't matter right you probably started noticing like no soliciting signs a hundred percent yeah a hundred percent just you were walking i liked it though you're walking down the street right yes you loved it someone's like hey can you help me set up these tea cups over here you're like what i'm sorry what someone's like hey do you play you play bass? Come on. Oh, yeah. Hell yeah, man. I play that. This fabulous gay guy on the street was like, ooh, a foxtail. And I was like, a foxtail? A foxtail. That's the strip club up by the cabin.

Foxtails. Woo. I thought it was the foxhole. No, it's the tail. You're going down into something. You are. You are. But by the looks of William, I mean,

William should be fucking with this landlord for hardcore. All you need is like a twelve pack of beer and a lawn chair and that guy will be out by the end of the day. Listen, Australia, that dude lived in America. He'd have plenty of fireworks to send right. Exactly plenty of firearms to

comes through again. Nikki added that police are telling us the realist that the real estate should be physically removing these people. I guess there's like a real estate, probably like a real estate office or something like that should be physically moving. These people in the real estate are saying that they can't do that.

Nikki and William both lost their jobs due to covid nineteen pandemic, but when Nikki found work at a hospital on the new south wales north coast, the family signed a lease for the property. Pascal, work at a hospital on the new south wales north coast the family signed a lease for the property pascal hubay if you're nasty has argued she is allowed to take over the garden with a tp tent as nicky and williams rental contract doesn't include the back garden oh my god she says it probably doesn't but don't be a but it does like you're renting the property you're not just renting the house doesn't feel like there's probably like a chancellor of real estate or something?

Yeah, like they all like the yeah, it says the contract reportedly says rear yard is not included. Of course it is. The garden has a storage shed, but no running water and no toilet. William said I noticed they've got a bucket been doing poos and wheeze in the bucket. It's disgusting. I just want to know where they're emptying it.

They've got to empty it somewhere. Don't they? I hope he is this genuinely confused. Like I hope none of this is rhetorical. They've got to understand how they're going to the bathroom. He doesn't understand where it goes. I'm like it's going in your yard. By the way, they've got really crazy guys.

These guys don't go poo or we they don't do it. They're like aliens or something. No, no, no. I'm sure they do. No, they don't. I'm serious. They don't. I've been watching them. They don't. You've been watching them. You can't determine where they're going. To me, doing poos and wees in the back garden in a

bucket, to me, this is the new Wiggles. For sure. That was in Australia, man. That was an Australian group. Speaking to Current Affair, Pascal Hubeube claimed she and her partner were not squatting in the backyard, telling reporter Steve Marshall. Good buddy of mine. It was not rented with the back yard. I'm about to show you Pascal and her partner, and they are what dreams and nightmares are made out of when it comes to dumb people time. Ready for this? Here we go.

Look at these two gems. That's a guy who never wears a shirt. I mean, it's just a public it's just a public service announcement for using meth. First of all, who has more hair product in their hair? Pascal's partner, that dude shreds. Yeah, dude, those

surfboards are all his they might be hers too because she's got guns he's not robert plant he's robert weed he is old man yote look at those shoulders in those arms to the guy i mean how old do you think he is do you have i don't know if i told you he was 72 would you fight me no no no if i told you he was 54 would you fight me no but if you're looking at them like are they've been on fire before that guy, like literally like been lit on fire. He's so on brand that it took me three times to figure out he's holding a cell phone because my mind only wants it to be a can of beer, but it's a faster same.

Yeah, right. That's all you saw when you looked at it. The way he's holding the cell phone. It's like he's nursing it like it's a beer. He's early. He is. He was in the Red Hot Chili Peppers of Australia. That's right.

He looks like the guy who plays drums out on Canaan Road. Have you ever seen that guy that sets up the drum set off of the 101? Every time you get off on Canaan Road, full kit every day on the side of the road. All this hair and no shirt, and he's shredded, and he's just out there like banging on the drums all day,

every day you drive by. Well, now he lives in their yard. Yeah, exactly. I mean, imagine if that guy moved into your backyard. You guys are going to hate me for this, but I'm telling you,

if we're talking Ricky Lake like makeover show, Pascal's partner would be very attractive. Yeah, he would be. Why? I just look at that jawline. He's a good looking guy.

He's in super great shape. Yes, he obviously does not respect anybody's boundaries and neither does Pascal. No, I mean she that she has sun in here. That is beach hair. Hey, we're going to do an interview. You guys want to put a shirt on? No, wait, who's the Australian actor Ben? What's his name? That is

in all the Star Wars stuff. Now that could be him. Yeah. Bloodline? Wait, Ben knows. He's in Bloodline? What's that guy's name? Oh, but yeah, Ben Mendelsohn. Yes, Ben Mendelsohn. Ben Mendelsohn could 100% play that.

This is just a Ben Mendelsohn character study. He's just doing a method acting thing, and this is him. She also looks like she's got, she didn't sharpen her teeth, but they're almost like fangs. She's not smiling. I can't see her teeth at all, but definitely her. She's also rocking an all day at the beach side pony. Yeah,

and just to describe this for people, he is shirtless and he has like who I mean whose hair is that? Is it like Tommy Lee? It is like it is a rock star hair, those hair bands when you get on a plane and you can tell that that person used to be in a band.

That's right. Yeah. He's like, that's a bad guy. He's like Sebastian Bach. If he had Benjamin Button syndrome, but like, yes.

And it's like, yeah. And he's got those. Um, what are those kind of glasses called? A little bit of wraparound glasses. The most expensive thing he owns is that watch. I guarantee you that's a dive watch.

Swim trunks. She's either in a tube top with no bra or a bathing suit. That could be a swimming suit. I'm going tube top. So he's the Australian. He's koala, the bounty hunter. She's got three necklaces and no home. Yeah, well, she owns one home, which is the one that people own.

It's so amazing to think that these two might have been really successful at one point, and then they left everything behind to go on a surfing safari for the last time. Why are you guys needing to be in this house? Just kick these people out. Take the house. I can't wait until this episode drops on social media. Everyone gets to see. Our first neighbor in LA was a plumber, and one day I was helping him out on a job.

And he goes, yeah, I was like, hey, man, how'd you get into plumbing? And he was like, hey, Greg, before I did plumbing, I was like doing porn and stuff. And I was like, I'm sorry, did you say porn? Porn and stuff? And stuff. What other stuff? And I didn't say anything. And he goes, yeah, because, you know, blah, blah, blah, and the porn and stuff.

And I was like, dude, I'm sorry, I got to ask you, did you say porn and stuff? And he was like, yeah, dude, before I was doing plumbing, I was doing porn and stuff. And then I realized I was spiritually dead. So I took two years off to surf and then I started my plumbing business. It's like the L.A. tale. So he was laying pipe and then he was fixing pipe. You too. You too.

We didn't plan it. Nobody did. Nobody did. Back to this photo, she, like her man, she could be 50, she could be 70. We don't know. I don't know what she is. They are son French kissed. You know what? She isn't

classy. Who knows? She could really be classy. I would go with you on that. I put my money on not Leo Patterson Ross, chief executive of tenants union of New South Wales, said that landlord and her partner could be trespassing. No shit. He said it could

be that the landlord is trespassing whenever they go. Oh, this is how they're going to get them. It could be that the landlord is trespassing whenever they go across the driveway because they are entering into a place that they've given someone else possession. That's right. At the end of the day, while the lease says that the backyard isn't included, the landlord has, and you know that they did that on purpose just in case.

We need a place to go. Has to go down the driveway that the lease doesn't talk about. And what the lease also promises the tenant is a reasonable peace, comfort, and privacy in their home. This is how you you get rid of them you keep asking them to play pickup basketball and eventually they are and then you just come on we need two more hundred percent we need to we need to come on guys i mean you're already dressed for sure go go go i mean it's australia let's throw the boomerang around here's the other thing too when we'll get out of here on this you know that these two are having sex in that tent.

Oh, my God. 100%. They're only having sex in that. They're only. Loud. Like all over everything. I don't think they've said more than three words to each other in years, except you want to.

You want to? Okay. They just do it. She says you want to, and he just sighs real. Okay. Rolls over. Okay. That's story number one. Story sighs real. Rolls over. That's story number one. I love it. The case of the curious case

of the tent in the backyard. I love it. Holly Laurent, Greg Hesser with us. We're talking about their new podcast but their podcast which we love so much which we did which is so much fun and then a special guests later on the show. This is a dumb people town. I don't even know what I'm saying. Stay with us!

Stick around. Make a sound. There's more Dumb People Town. Hey, y'all. Welcome back to the show. Before we get into what these guys are doing and they're amazing, we should mention the 27th, right? This will drop before then yes uh

27th which is a saturday night come on get your tickets there's only a few left this is for jack you're gonna hear our theme song done by open mike eagle and then our guest jack black both of them are gonna be around the whole night i know live dumb people town nowhere comedy club you can get your tickets at danielvancurk.com or you can go to ventbrite.com and get the tickets there jay and i on march 20th are doing a stand-up show at uh nowhere comedy club you can go to ventbrite.com that's march 20th it's the first time we've done stand-up a full set in like a year so it's been a long time so we would love to see uh we're gonna be rusty we're gonna have lots of fun we're not gonna be we actually won't we actually we've been riffing we have been takes literally five days a

week for 10 months and we've been doing a lot of stand-up in little tiny gigs We actually we've been riffing. We have been takes literally five days a week. We're ten months and we've been doing a lot of stand up in little tiny gigs. I actually we've been doing like bang leap show and I can't wait to put it all together and see what it looks like. So we want to see you guys out there. We love it when you're there. So then Daniel Van Kirk, you got a bunch of stuff. Oh yeah, on the twentieth, Rory Scovel and I are doing a live pen pals, a little primer for dumb people town and then on the twenty fourth. If you're a patron member of mine, we're going to be talking about days confused just for patron members only best and then on

the fifth of March, we'll be doing a movie club. I've never seen Casablanca. I can't believe people are who have seen it or want to watch it again. We'll get together and talk about it and then I'm doing bingo that night and it's super fun. So all that stuff's at Daniel van Kirk dot com, but for the live dumb people town, don't forget you can go to Daniel van Kirk dot com and get one of the posters that Jeffrey Tice created. Oh my God. We will sign it and send it to you.

It's like a Nacho Libre poster that our buddy made and it's so cool and we'll sign those and those are up and available. So doggy barking, I love the doggy. Don't you worry about that barking dog. We love it. We love it. All right, let's talk about Mega

because it is really one of my favorite podcasts that we've ever come across and then we got a chance to do it. And whenever we do it, at least five people on our Twitters or whenever we mention it, they're always like, thank you so much for sharing this with us.

This is our new jam. Yeah. Yeah. That's great. Yes. So yeah, mega. Yeah.

What do you want to know? I was going to say to you guys, I don't know if you know, but I ended my first hour, my album, I ended it with an altar call. Did you. Yes, yes, I would alter call the entire audience and then try to get them all up on stage to get anybody saved. You know, it was funny is my favorite thing because there's only I make it very

clear. This is the end of the show and and I remember like Holly. I think we even talked about this once with like maybe Tim bolts at like second city to know you're at the end of the show and still walk people like that. They know that there's only like five minutes and so you I can't handle this. I would have some people who would be like I can't let you do this to the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and then like leave and that, but then you have like a lot of Christians who are like and you guys probably get this to with your pockets are like this is so on the nose so. This is so funny because it is what I lived in church camp or I know exactly what that youth pastor is like, and so

Christians and non Christians alike would find it very funny people who were raised in the church and like no longer are would be like holy shit. I had flashback, but yeah, I would end my hour with an altar call. Oh my God. I would always say, who's ready to make a change tonight? And don't focus on the fact that it's the end of the show. Daniel, you got to focus on the fact that it's the end of days. Right. In the beginning of a whole new life.

The beginning of a new life. Right, right. Beginning of a new life and the end of days. And then I just play DC Talks, I Wish We'd All Been Ready. And so that everybody really... You you would love this weird little detail is holly's one one time there's this show called the leftovers on hbo which was about sort of like a rapture like event and one day where we tune in we sit down we're watching the the season opener season three in real time and we're like yeah yeah, it's finally back. And speaking of

I Wish We'd All Been Ready, there's all these pilgrims or something are getting ready for the second coming and we hear someone sing the song I Wish We'd All Been Ready

and it was Holly's dad. And our jaws hit the floor. I was like, this sounds like my parents' band. Am I losing my mind? And it was. And it was in the credits. It was like my parents' band

from the 1970s, The Good New Circle. They did a cover of I Wish We'd All Been Ready. And we called them and we're going, my parents band am I losing my mind and it was and it was in the credits it was like my parents band from the 1970s the good new circle they did a cover of I wish we'd all been ready and we called them and we're going your band your band is on HBO

right now and they're like what our band what we don't know anything about this and I was like

get ready you guys are gonna make money and about two months later my mom was like you know what that HBO you know what they were HBO, you know what?

They were good on their word. We got it checked for $800. That's so little. Not TV money. I love it, though. I love it because you know HBO 2 was, they probably looked at the DC talk rights and were like, somebody else has to have done this.

And they were like, Rich Mullins, can't afford it. Sandy Patty, no. Petra, cannot do it. Third day, are you out of your mind? We're going with Holly's parents. Yeah, good new circle. Good new circle. Did you say it's not TV money, it's HBO money?

Did you say that? I just wanted to highlight that hilarious joke. Good ear, good ear, Jay. Well, my favorite part about the show Leftovers were just the parts of the show that... Stop don't you dare they would just don't you i can never finish the show i save it in the refrigerator and then i finish the next show that then they played online hold on let them dovetail into their hoarders do you watch your hoarders episodes do you watch them so So, Holly, you grew up with all of this.

Yeah, so I grew up, my parents were, speaking of altar calls, Daniel, my parents started out in a band. They would get everybody all riled up and hot and bothered for Jesus Christ. And my dad would end their concerts with an altar call. People would come up, devote their life

to Christ. And then when the band finally broke up then my dad became like a traveling evangelist and did that for a really long time now my dad is the pastor of a mega church and totally unrelated to that greg and i started a um we we do a fully improvised uh satire where we play characters who work at a fictional mega church in fact we did start putting a disclaimer at the top of the show. Yeah, we had people thinking it was real life. Of course.

Because you guys are so good. Our buddies, the Milkharton kids who I know you guys are fans of, they came on and Joey and Milkharton kids shared it with his mom and she started freaking out. She was like, I don't understand. Why were you on this Christian podcast?

They're Jewish. She's like, I just don't understand. I don't get it. I don't. Because you guys are so good and it is so funny and well,

I just want everyone to check it out. You will love it so much. First of all, some of your favorite improvisers that you will recognize and know. Yeah, we've had some such great people. Rory was on there. Yeah, Rory Scovel. Rory Scovel's been on.

He's not a great improviser. I agree. And that's not his pocket or anything like that. No, he's not generally a funny guy. I look forward to seeing this nut on there one of these days. Dude, we emailed you, but we never got the email back. I have no memory of that, but it also checks out. Yes.

We'll try again. We really want to have you on. That would be awesome, and that, but it also checks out. Yes. It's not. We'll try again. I would love to do it. We really want to have you on. That would be awesome and that'd be amazing because we just had a blast doing it. It was just so much fun. You guys are two of the best improvisers

that we know with great backgrounds, of course, some Second City background. Which we'll talk about in our Patreon. Yeah, Patreon page will get a deep

Second City discussion. And in the third segment today, we're going to have a visit from special guests, but I love it. I want everyone to check check out mega it is so funny and so good and i just can't endorse that podcast enough it is add that to your like i need another thing while i'm walking around the neighborhood trying to keep my sanity this will make you crack up and laugh so all right daniel you want to do story too let's do story send in by katherine tuck at katherine lorna lover thank

you you're great. The tuck rule. Here's the headline. Porch pirate. Nope. Which is kind of one of my like, that's like one of our newer, most cute terms for criminals that we've created lately,

like porch pirate. Criminal mischief. I've never heard this. It's like how like super spreader sounds cool or sounds like the porn your neighbor was in before he got into plumbing. I was into super spreading and stuff. Yeah.

Porch pirate. Sounds like the porn I would be in foiled by them foiled by the most of Canadian anti theft devices, a snow bank. Have any of you guys heard about or seen this story? No, no, no, a would be porch pirate is facing charges after getting caught on camera, allegedly trying to swipe a package from someone's doorstep in. How do you somebody knows I should not missus, missus, miss igua. How do you say it? Miss igua, huh? Mississauga

knew it was a saga. Listen, I would have let you know politely, but with some passive. Yeah, sorry, sorry, sorry, but it's here. They called me Mr. Saga someone. There's some Canadian just turned to someone else and said, hold my Tim Hortons. They called me Mr. Saga. Someone there's some Canadian just turned to someone else and said, hold my Tim Hortons. There you go. My Tim

Hortons. I'm going to come over and kick these guys ass. That's why I didn't do the story with John doors. Afraid I'd get beat up. This is saga. He said he stole this off somebody's doorstep only to have his car get stuck in a snowbank while trying to get away karma. We will show a little bit of the video from this and we will definitely talk about all the details. It is perfect.

He comes out. I mean, I don't know. I'll probably say more of it in a second, but like he goes to back out super fast after getting caught, goes straight over a huge snow bank and then is not going anywhere. Yeah, it's perfect. It's like instant perfect karma. So, you know, my car in front of my house was broken into during the pandemic and everything was stolen inside of it. What? And I had my golf clubs in there and my son's golf clubs, because if there's ever a time and we're around, my daughter's golf clubs,

they were all just sitting in the back of my car, because I'm like, if there's ever a time, I just want to be able to zip and go to all that stuff. My tennis racket's stolen. All my glasses, sunglasses, extra pairs of glasses. So I'm like, what do you want with my with a little prescription? Yeah, my prescription, my glasses like they probably aren't going to fit your face. Well, I have a weird shaped face.

So I just it makes me so mad when someone just takes something that someone else. All we have in this goddamn pandemic is the excitement over the package that's being set. Also, like you said, the glasses. You don't even know what you're getting in the box. What do you know? Yeah. Like, why do you need it? What if they're stealing somebody's like, they delivered like someone's ashes and you're

like, yeah, I got it now. I don't know. I mean, that sounds exact. That sounds like somebody is full on taking your identity, though. Like they're going to become you. They're single white female in you. And you're going to take it. It's terrifying.

It's me, guys. It makes me so angry. I'm like, why? Get out of here. No, you deserve to have your car get stalled up on a goddamn stop. I wish the worst on you. Drive off a cliff, you bitch. You're going to love what happened to this guy.

The incident unfolded in a video that has been widely shared on social media, believe it or not. Police say it happened around 2.30 a.m. or p.m, that's the time to go to the am there to thirty p.m. p.m. January for the package had to get dropped off and then someone's got to come by and swipe it. Yeah, in the Meadows Boulevard and Aaron Center Boulevard, the video starts with a man opening his front door startling the

other man standing on his doorstep. He then says, well, that's done. You're done in the most Canadian fucking. That's it. He then says, well, that's done. You're done in the most Canadian. That's it. You're done. Oh, you're done. Okay, that's done. Yeah, he literally sounds like an episode of Letter Kenny yelling at this guy.

Okay, that's it. You're done. Yeah, that's exactly it. You trying to take my diabetes pills? Hand them over. That's it. You're done. Oh, okay.

You're done now. Then we got free health care here. Those are free. Those diabetes pills are free. I hope you drive into a snowbank. You're done. Oh, okay. You're done now then. We got free health care here. Those are free. Those diabetes pills are free. I hope you drive into a snowbank, you son of a bitch. The person behind the camera exclaims as the man runs. This is the most Canadian thing to the man then who's trying

to steal the package. He then runs from the porch to his car all the times saying sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Oh, I'm sorry. sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, oh, I'm sorry, so sorry, taking the package or did he drop the package? What do you say?

Drop the package drops the package right away. Yeah, because he's done. You're done. You're done. All right. Oh, you're done. No, he keeps saying sorry, sorry, sorry about that. Sorry about taking your package.

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. The thief then proceeds to reverse his small hatchback perfect into a pile of snow where he becomes stuck and then frantically starts spinning his front wheels dan he's been spinning his wheel so guys here's a great thing like there was when i worked at marshall fields in on state street in chicago there was a night drops where i told the story on like an early episode of the crab feast. There was a night where there's overnight like uniform security guards and this guy. He was a P. O one hundred. He was probably like sixty eight years old, right, but just like cool is shit, like just like a Bernie Mac type guy,

right, and he at like two in the morning or one in the morning, like got off the elevator on like an employee only floor, because for those you don't know the State Street of Marshall Field, which is now some people call them Macy's is like a entire city block. He gets out and there's another person there who isn't there who has all this merchandise is not supposed to be there and they start fighting. Oh my God, the only way out is back down the elevator. So they it's on CCTV.

You watch these guys fight and fight and fight, and he tries to get to the elevator, hit the button, and then it opens, but he pulls it back and eventually they're both just like sitting in this hallway like and then and then one of them like after a couple minutes, the guy would go to go back to the elevator again, be like you son of a bitch

and they would they fought all night until people came into the store around like eight a.m. That's unbelievable. My thing is like that's what's happening here. You're stuck in this moment of like you've wronged this person, but you can't leave, but they're not going to like go back inside and say it's over. So you're kind of like in a situation. Come on out here on. Yeah, I got a little entertainment spiders caught a fly. We got a spinner. We got a spinner got herself a spinner. I got a spinner. We got a spinner. We got ourselves a spinner.

We got a spinner. Another movie from your neighbor. Wait, with the elevator guy, was it because the employee cared about the shoplifting? Yeah, he was an overnight security guard. He was an overnight security guard. So he saw him with all the merch

and he was like, I just can't let you leave. They fought off and on all night because anybody who's ever been in a fight or even just wrestled after about two minutes, you're so exhausted. You are yeah, you're guest. You're done. You can't even eventually you can't even lift your heart. He would get so mad every

time the criminal would go back to the elevator like if we got to do this shit, although in a in a completely different version of retail theft, I was at Home Depot in La and I watched a guy carry two full power drill sets at a walk. He just was walked out of the store and the security guard is kind of chasing and then just goes, insurance. Wow!

You just give no chase to those guys. But you saw it stop in his brain. It's like, yeah, not worth it. Not worth it. The guy, the criminal, the package porch pirate, he can be seen desperately trying to get his car to move, attempting everything from shoveling snow on his

hands and knees to pushing his car out of the snow, but to no avail. Okay, we're going to play a couple of clips of the video. I can't wait. Alyssa has this all queued up. It is wonderful. Okay, let's see. You just see him so frantic. There he is spinning. Look at he's here's a problem. He's clearing traction away

from like it's just in the air that isn't going to go and he gets back in his car to go for it. Could you imagine running comment like if any of us like comedic people are like Nissan Bean whatever it is he backed up over it to where that's the now he's trying to pull

his car over a snowbank. While it's running. He's in the Nissan Leaflet. Sorry, neighbor. Do you have any rock salt? I got to get out of here. How was he making the wheels go when he wasn't even in the car? Because his base, his whatever, his frame was up on the snowbank.

So his front wheels just were on nothing. But she's like, how is he gassing it? Yeah, how is he? Oh, I have no idea. Unless you put it into neutral. I put a brick on the gas pedal and I'm going to try to pull my car out of here. Yeah, I'm just going to stand in front of it

and in case it gets out, it'll run over me. This is what we do up here in Mississauga. Mississauga. This is also comedy and Canadian. The man who's filming all this, who almost had his package stolen, who just stands there the whole time. He starts yelling stuff at the guy. He goes, you want me to get you a shovel?

Do you want a shovel? You want a shovel? That's taunting me. Yes, the man behind me comes. He becomes Bruce McCullough, like the seven-year-old kid from kids. Do you want a shovel? Yeah, exactly. I know a girl who's got a shovel.

She's seven and she smokes. The homeowner then starts giving the criminal even more instructions, telling the other man that his car is front-wheel drive, so he needs to get those wheels on the ground if he wants. All of a sudden, this guy went from being a criminal to having an uncle. He's like, here's how you're going to get this out. Turn it to the left. Lean into it.

Go backwards. Yep. You got to put some sandbags in the back. You got to weigh it down back there. Got to weigh it down in the back. It needs to be heavier. It's too light of a car. Hey, maybe you should go stealing some packages in the old neighborhood.

See if you can weigh that hatchback down a little bit. You got to steal heavy shit, dude. I can't do it. I can't do it. You should go stealing some packages in the old neighborhood. See if you can weigh that hatchback down a little bit. You got to steal heavy shit, dude. I can't do it. I can't do it. Canadian accent. Holly's Canadian accent is just migrating right to south, like the Chicago. Yeah, it's going to the suburbs.

For sure. Yeah, you got to get. It's fun. Go grab that bird bath. He's saying. You're calling dibs on that spot? Yeah, go get that bird. Hey, go grab that bird path. I'm going to grab a sausage while I watch this.

Get a couple of chairs. I put a cinder block in the back of my max car because it's swerving all over the place. Sidebar, I did just teach these two about Chicago dibs. Oh, it's a number of dibs. Yeah, yeah. We didn't know what it was, and now we know. Oh, it's a really serious thing,

and I have truly, probably the closest time I've ever gotten into a physical altercation with a stranger was over a dib spot in my neighborhood. What end were you on? Because I don't believe in dibs. I don't respect dibs. You were trying to park,

and someone put a thing down, right? I had just shoveled out the space and was backing my car in, and a guy pulled the old fast move. And I said, bro, I just shoveled this whole space. And he gave me the like, yeah, I mean, I got here. I got it. Oh, no way.

You think I was shoveling it for you? If this is what I would say, Greg, if I was him, I'd go, okay, I understand the position you've taken in life and why you're probably alone. But do you want me to know this is your car? Yeah. Do you want me to know that after you leave,

this is your car? You better hang out to this car all night. All night. And it would happen all the time. If you would move people's lawn chairs and put your car there, they would fucking destroy your tires. I'm so surprised, Dana, you don't believe in dibs. Because here's my problem with it. How do you know that I'm the one that moved your chairs just because my car is there?

That's right. Dibs honor system. Dibs honor system. I know what I'm saying. I could be the second. Somebody else could have come and thrown your chairs up onto the yard. And then they leave. And then it's an open spot.

So you don't know. Unless you have a camera on it, you don't know who's dead. You're treading on super thin ice by not honoring the code. It's the worst thing about Chicago. The worst. I had a fire hydrant in front of my house, and I would watch people. The snow was so high.

It was over the fire hydrant. People had no idea. They would park right there, and the cop would just tow car after car. And they had no idea that there was a hydrant there. Who had no idea there was a hydrant there? That's Chicago. That's Chicago. That's Chicago. I mean, Jay and I said

you should open a bar called Dibs. And it's like in the front, in front of the bar is just like lawn chairs. Two tables. Two tables. You can hang out there. And then like at 1138 every night,

someone moves the tables back. And then if you're there at the time you're going to the bar, you can pull into that spot. I also told them that every winter we would steal another piece of furniture off the streets of Chicago and incorporate it like ale house

style. Like that's just another chair that's here now. And so guys, I'm saying this is post. This is post pandemic, right? We've got a business model. If you lost something,

you go to dibs to go find it. Yeah, come on. I mean, if you open up on anything, yeah, if you open up dibs in the old Danny's location in Wicker Park, people will flock to it.

Oh, yeah. If you have a barstool that has dibs and then whoever's sitting next to it, you get to hit on them even if they come with somebody who's like, I called dibs. I called dibs on him. That might be your girlfriend, but she's sitting in my lawn chair. I called dibs, my friend. Everybody's ass in my- I get to do whatever I want.

Look, I'm going to get more popcorn out of that machine in the corner. When I come back, I got dibs. Excuse me, that machine held a parking spot for me out on North Wall for about three years. I swear to God, I have dibs on every goddamn toilet in this bar. All of them. That's true. Lost my wife for 20 I have dibs on every goddamn toilet in this bar. That's true.

My wife was 20 years at dibs last night. Say a 33 year old man from Brampton was arrested in connection with the incident. So I don't think that's our guy. They just got somebody. My wallet is sitting on the commode subsequently released and scheduled to appear in court. I love it. That is such a classic

and great story. And he got what he deserved. I know. And he, not only did he get what he deserved, it's so much better than like actually

physically fighting someone and kicking their ass for like stealing anything. You just- Embarrassed. Watch the guy completely devolve and then you stand

at your thing, hey, you need some help? You need a shovel? And you're just embarrassing the guy to the point where it's like he is humiliated and that's what he deserved. Agreed.

Look at me. I'm taking all my diabetes pills and laughing at you. I'm going to put them all on. Oh, do you need a push? We'll try them on right here. You're done. You're done. You're done. You're over. I'm going to make some cocoa while you stay out there and stay cold.

Story number two. All right. When we going to make some cocoa while you stay out there and stay cold. Story number two. All right. When we come back, Patreon fans, you will get great stories about Second City with these guys. And because we already got a little bit, we started talking about Diz in Chicago. And then for the final story, we have two special guests coming in to do it with us. This is Dumb People Town. Don't go anywhere.

Yes. Stick around. Make a sound for more Dumb People Town. Don't go anywhere. Stick around. Make it sound. For more Dumb People Town. All right, Daniel. We are very happy and very lucky because we are joined for this final segment by two friends. And they're friends because Jay and I did the show.

Yes, we understand. They're not necessarily comedians. And friends maybe is a loose term. They're just good acquaintances. Hey, friends are friends forever. The Lord's the Lord of them. We're children of the utmost high God. Okay, so they run one of the

biggest megachurches in Indiana in the Indianapolis area, right? It's the Indianapolis area. Guys, just introduce yourselves and then we'll jump into the story. Well, my name is Hallie Labonte. I am too blessed to be stressed and I'm too anointed to be disappointed.

I'm gonna be real honest with you right now. And you, my brothers in Christ, I'm so happy to be here. I work in the programming department coming up with the awesome creative services we have on the weekend at Twin Hills Community Church. We're in the cool neighborhood at Indy. We're in Broad Ripple, Indiana. This is a very cool neighborhood.

And I'm always joined by my co-host, Gray Haas, everybody. Hey, guys. My name's Gray Haas. I am the youth leader of Climax Youth Ministry, which is just a really awesome youth group that we have at Twin Hills Church. And yeah, Hallie and I are just so blessed to be here. We just can't wait. Well, you love to mix it up with the kids a lot. I mean, really mix it up with the kids.

Yeah, yeah. You're not afraid to get your hands on it. I just, yeah, we had an awesome youth group event this weekend where it was called Turn and Burn, where I let all the guys take their lowrider cars and do wheelies in the parking lot. Sure, sure. And then I did an altar call, and I said, hey, look, if you accept Christ, we can turn to Christ, or you're going to burn, right? Okay.

And you're going to go to the other place. So that was awesome. Yes, good message. Yeah, totally. Turn and burn. Yeah. But we're so glad we're here because you know Daniel That's a very biblical name Sure

Daniel and the lion That's awesome That's right And Jason That's a Greek name Sure And you know The Greeks

The first translation of the Bible Sure Yeah The New Testament was written in Greek And then you got Randy Randy which is Right But you know

I actually I mean Maybe Jesus had a brother named Randy I think it was one of the lesser known brothers of Jesus of Nazareth. There was Randy of Nazareth. Randy of Nazareth Ford. I'll say this. I want to give one more name to you regarding the kids burning,

turning and burning. And how about this? Which, by the way, started out sounding so fun, and then it got really, really serious. What if you called it donuts and do nots these are the donuts you can do and these are the things that you should not do donuts and do this when it snows because then there wouldn't be because gray really wanted all the smoke coming up so it looked like hell and burning rubber and everything if you don't

if you don't turn from your sin you'll burn like that that's right when there's snow in the parking lot you could do snow donuts and do not. That's right. Or we could just go inside and have donuts, and then we could also talk about fingering, which is something that a lot of teens are trying right now that I'm really worried about. Me too. I don't know what the meaning of fingering is, but I've heard they text about it a lot. They do, and you need your fingers to text.

That's right. It's a double-edged sword. There's the donut, and there's the do not. Okay, so the world is getting dumber, and I would love to go through one story with you of something that happened, if you guys don't mind. I'd love to get your fresh eyes, your fresh mega eyes on this thing.

So, Dan, let's take us home. Here we go. This was sent in by La Asesina. At La Asesina MMA. Yes. Thank you so much. The killer, a waiter in Canada. This is might be one of the dumbest things I've ever seen in done people time. I know that's probably a mean thing to say. It's a you probably don't like dumb and stuff like that,

but we don't understand it right well here. I'm going to read you guys the headline okay here it all right waiter fired for being rude claims he's just French. So that was his excuse. You know, that makes a lot of sense, though, because, you know, Hallie, I think about French people, and I know they don't love God. Yeah, they do not. Fair enough.

Fair enough. There is the cathedral of Notre Dame. But I imagine you guys also appreciate somebody who says, like, hey, this is the way the Lord made me. Like, what are you going to sue me for that, right? that's if he's saying that's just the way what could this guy do just to redeem himself in some way shape or form i'm assuming there's something that he could do right well you know if it ever i mean jesus died for even the dumb sense you know what i mean and even the dumb ones are covered in the blood. What are some of the dumbest sins that you know of, Hallie?

Oh, I feel like anything that is not God-honoring. But here's the thing. Jesus and God specifically, they see all sin equally. So if you gossip, it's just as bad as if you murder. I don't know if that's the case, but that feels like different gradations. Well, here, let's dig into this. A waiter in Canada who was fired for being aggressive, rude, and disrespectful has says this is just his natural French demeanor.

I'm French. He's got to say galoom resting. Dion, Dion, Dion, Ray, who worked never had a Guillaume in my life until just now, who worked in a restaurant in vancouver filed a complaint against his former employer claiming discrimination against his culture okay i got it this is the thing guys we're in this cancel culture right now and it's so it's so well if you're a bad person well i don't know about that daniel because if you really think about it the people that are the most discriminated right now are Christians and specifically evangelicals.

I would say just the ones that are mean. Like the mean ones. I don't know. I just think that culture hates God so much and they're really trying to come down on evangelicals and stuff. So I don't know. Cancel culture is a big thing. You feel targeted. I don't know, Gray.

You feel targeted. Gray, if I'm hearing you correctly, and I hope I am, is that you would like to put an end to cancel culture. You would like to stop it dead and just try it. You want it all gone. You want it all removed. You would like to bring it down to its knees.

Anybody who is trying to cancel you guys should not be on social media. Shut them up. They are finished. Shut them up. And while we're at it, I'd love to cancel culture too. That's a great comment.

There's a lot of culture. A lot of secular culture is really... I feel like we're heading towards a good Christian frog in a frying pan analogy with you, Greg. Can I say this? That I think the problem here is that this French guy in Canada was on the wrong side of the country.

He's over on the west coast. Get off! Get off! In Montreal, I think people would be Yeah, Montreal. They love that. They love that. Getting into Montreal. They want you. In Montreal, I think people would be like, yeah, I get it. Quebec City, that's just par for the course.

The complaint, which he filed with British Columbia's Human Rights Tribunal, saw Ray argue that French culture tends to be more direct and expressive. He was dismissed from his waiter job at the restaurant run by Cara operations after he was accused of violating its code of conduct and continued to behave in the same way,

despite verbal and written performance reviews. So they tried to tell him gray. They tried to tell him like, Hey, this is, there's a way to act. You're up, which I'm sure you probably have to do with the kids a lot as well.

Right? Yeah. You know, we always have to be emulating Christ because he had the perfect life, but you know what, guys? I actually got laid off from a secular job once. I was waiting tables. You were? Yeah, I got laid off. One of my first jobs right out of Bible college was I worked at P.F. Chang's, and I got laid off because I would pray over people, but if they didn't pray for the meals, I would pray over them for the meals. You can't do that.

That would be difficult. I got canceled. Yeah, but you can't pray for people. I don't think people would. Well, I prayed for the meals, and I said, if you're not going to pray for this, I'm going to pray for this for you. And they didn't like that. I mean, even Jesus wasn't afraid to flip a table. That's right.

And I did that, and I also got fired. Okay, yeah, you can't do that either. You can't flip a table. Look, it's, yeah, people get very particular about when someone else is praying for them. I mean, Hallie, but you understand people. I mean, you're a programming director at the church there. You understand what people need.

If this person is in a service industry, like he should be wanting to service people. Like you can't go into that industry. The customer's always right, basically. Right. That's true. And I feel like he's really missing out on an opportunity to use that accent, because I'm going to be honest with all of you, a lady loves an accent.

Right. But a lady doesn't love when you lay hands on them without them consenting to the prayer. Am I correct? Well, if your face is good looking, then it's okay. No, I don't. doesn't love when you lay hands on them without without them consenting to the prayer am i correct if your face is good looking then it's okay i think a lot of times the girl doesn't want an ugly face of a guy that's not how it works even good look like christian bale in psycho sure or whatever army hammer in real life the Frenchman said his attitude... Oh, he is so good looking. And rich! We need to do some reading up on that, Hal. Hallie, do you like your fingertips?

Chicken fingers? Yeah, did you know that your fingertips have more nerve endings than any part of your body? That's why it hurts so bad when you hurt your fingers. I don't know if that's right. That's not true. It might be. I'm not trying to argue.

I'm just saying... No, he said, I don't think it's true right. That's not true. That might be. I know. I'm not trying to argue. I'm just saying. Okay. No, you said it. I don't think it's true. That's right. Okay. I think it's only beat by a foreskin has more nerve endings. There we go. And you're closer. Strangely, and I never knew this would be possible, but we're back to fingering.

Yeah, we are. That's right. And just be careful. If we have any teens listening, I just want to let you know that you shouldn't be doing that, guys. Okay. Okay. The Frenchman said his

attitude was down to his quote direct honest and professional personality. If he takes professional out, I can get behind it, but if he says I'm direct and honest, you're still an aunt. Can I say that? Can I say that? I don't know. I don't want to. Yeah, I don't love it. Okay.

He's probably just mad because the French gals don't shave their armpits a lot. And again, I don't love it. Okay. He's probably just mad because the French gals don't shave their armpits. A lot of them. And again, I don't think he was speaking to French gals. No, he's talking to Canadian people in Vancouver. Mary Magdalene probably didn't shave either. No. And she was like Jesus's best friend.

So much so you could say like super special friend. But I'm not insinuating. I'm just saying. I never even thought of that. I knew that the Bible was written in the Bronze Age. Jesus was in the Bronze Age. They didn't even have the invention of the wheel yet, let alone razors. I never thought about it. I knew that the Bible was written in the Bronze Age. Jesus was in the Bronze Age. They didn't even have the invention of the wheel yet, let alone razors. I

never thought about it. You're exactly right. You're exactly right. That's accurate. He said it was down to his direct and honest professional personality, which he learned during training in the hospitality industry in his motherland. So he's like, this is how I was trained to be a waiter in France. They said be mean to people. I'm just doing

France basically has an ed to bevics sort of attitude blanket over the whole country. Yeah, inner circles start there and then move right right. The restaurant tried in vain to dismiss Ray, but a tribunal member, Devin Kusinow D E V Y N

denied the application, which means another hearing will be scheduled. She wrote in her decision that the waiter would have to, quote, explain what it is about his French heritage that would result in behavior that people misinterpret as a violation of workplace standards and acceptable conduct. So this is a woman who was like, we should probably vote this guy out of here, but I now have to hear more. I want him to be on the spot and explain it.

Well, you know, guys, we have a food court here at the church, and it's really amazing. We've got about 15 different restaurants that you can eat in. But we did have a server at the food court who was being rude to people, and we got to fire them without notice. And that's because that person was from Michigan. What? And they were just very liberal. Oh, okay. And you don't want that energy coming down across the border.

So we just basically said, hey, you know. You say you're in favor of canceling Michigan people from your church, Gray? Oh, absolutely. Yeah. We just don't really want that around. So you don't want that energy. Let me get this straight. You can be liberal with the dipping sauces, but not with the ideology.

That's a great, oh, we should use that. No, don't use that. No, no. I don't mean to give them thoughts. That's good. Don't give them thoughts. Don't. Don't. She also said the application denial should give them thoughts. Don't give them. Don't.

She also said the application to now should not be seen as an indication of the case's outcome. You're right. She just wants to hear the story. She doesn't care. Put him on the spot. Are you joking?

We need this guy around for longer. If this a-hole thinks that he can defend being French as being an a-hole. Let's bump it up to the next one. Yep. A date for the new hearing has not been set.

If she's not careful, he could become the prime minister. Stop. I mean, I think that like halle and gray would probably get behind this no matter what happens just to learn how to forgive right it's about forgiveness and and and if you can forgive him he can forgive himself and then everything will be absolved it's very clear to me that this french gentleman he just needs jesus frankly. He just needs Jesus because the fruit of the Spirit, the New Testament tells us, is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. It doesn't seem like he was using any of those. He was standing at that table being rude to people.

He was probably spitting, too, because the way they phrased their things. They go, wah, wah, wah, wah. They're breathing all over people's food like that. She could definitely be right. I mean, I haven't seen Jesus' Yelp page, but when he delivered all those bread and all the wine to people, like... Yeah, that is right.

Yeah, yeah. And, you know, he'd be multiplying it too, which is a really nice little... Well, you're making loaves of bread, and I don't know if he turned it into some sort of a French fish dish, but I'm not sure. You know, if that would be good, then that might actually be biblical. We don't know if he turned it into some sort of a French fish dish, but I'm not sure. If that would be good, then that might actually be biblical.

We don't know. All right, that's it. That's it. I want to thank you guys so much for coming, and thanks for being a part of this. Thanks for bringing the energy that you guys were sharing. It was a treat and a treasure. Oh, guys, we pray for you every day. Yeah, I'm going to put you all at the top of my prayer list, because I don't know if

you're currently believers, but if you're not, I'm going to call you pre-saved because I know that Jesus is going to work on your heart someday. I could be pre-saved. You're a pre-Christian. I'd be open to it. Hallie, Gray, you guys are great. We'll catch you on an episode of Mega. All of our fans here, got to check out the podcast, Mega.

Unbelievable. You will love it so much. We're going to have Daniel on. I would love to. Oh, look who joined us back in here. Holly, Laurent, Greg Hess, you guys. mega unbelievable you will love it so much we're gonna have Daniel on I would love to and uh oh look who joined us back in here Holly, Laurent, Greg Hess

you guys oh hi guys oh what a treat thank you so much for joining us on the show today you're the best you are two of our

favorite people so fun to play with you so much fun and oh shit we gotta get back to work yeah A podcast network.