Dumb People Town - Irene Tu - Power Bottomless Mimosas

Episode Date: April 22, 2022

This week Irene Tu comes to town to hang with Daniel, Jason and Randy. This week's story is about possibly the most awkward fight at a Disney park.

Skypains, outatties. Welcome to a Friday episode of Dumb People Town. Population U. Population 2. Irene 2. I love Population U. Population 2. Irene 2. I love Population U. Population 2. Irene 2. Irene, welcome back. You've done this before. Yeah, you did it on Zoom. I did it on Zoom. So does it count?

It does count, but this is so much better, isn't it? This is much better. This is like hanging backstage comedy show, us chilling. Or we describe it to comics as this is the writer's room before we have to get down to work sure we're like hey look at all this weird shit you hear this dumb story yeah 18 000 jokes that are funnier than any joke you're gonna put in the show and i got it we gotta

get back to work that's how it goes i do want to tell people since i think there's video involved i normally look better than this what you look not much what are you talking about let's let's not let's first of all let's not go that was a compliment weird backdoor compliment by the way if you can't give shit to your friends then what are we what are we even doing irene and i have been front 2017 2018 um we come up on five how'd you guys meet did you have an anniversary we met because i was doing a doug loves movies i was in the bay area for some reason and doug like, do you want to come do the San Jose? San Jose Improv.

Yeah. You were there with Taylor Tomlinson, whatever happened to her. Did she get out of comedy? I wish she... I don't know. I wish she'd get some breaks.

So you were there with her. You yelled at that woman in the balcony. I'll never stop bringing it up. What? I yelled... You didn't... You shut it down.

You did not yell. What happened? I did tell her to shut the fuck up. What? I yelled. You shut it down. You did not yell. What happened? I did tell her to shut the fuck up. Thank you. Sometimes it needs to be said. So we hung out there. Sometimes it needs to be said. And then we just kept being friends.

And you were on my first LA show when I did my tour here. I'm sorry. Did Dan just describe friendship as we just kept being friends? Yeah. So you're saying. You never met a great person and then you're like, oh, I never really saw them again. We kept like running into each other. So I met this great person

and we totally connected and then we were enemies for like two years. You've had that happen? No. I do have frenemies. Who? Name them.

Can't name them. They're all comics. Oh, shit. Well, that's half of the comedy world. But you know what I mean? Like, SketchFest one year, we both saved each other From social anxiety

For about an hour Wait what was the I don't remember this It was that packed bar That has pinball machines in it And we just talked by a stairwell For a long time Yeah that sounds right

Yeah and that's when you're like Oh we're gonna keep being friends Yeah yeah yeah You just kept being friends With her Dan Well I love it Just kept being friends with her Well I'm happy that Irene is here

Because dumbness is existing In the world as we all know And we need to So much growing We need to swash buckle it down So the fact that Irene is here because dumbness is existing in the world, as we all know. So much growing. We need to swashbuckle it down. So the fact that Irene is here and we have a story sent in by our awesome fans. Let's jump in. It's a good one. Let's dive in.

And if you're a Patreon member, we have a second one, but that'll be Irene telling a dumb story from her own life. Love it. That she witnessed or was a victim of or did herself. Yeah, we all do dumb things. Okay, here we go. This was sent in by John Chataway at Away Chataway. Away Chataway.

Away Chataway. Sounds like a Gordon Lightfoot lyric. Yeah. Doesn't it? Hey, can you guys play Away Chataway? Away Chataway. Okay. Don't you love folksy Canadian rock stars?

All right. Drunken Brawl at Disney Springs. Disney Springs? Disney Springs. So that's like their prefab downtown. It's like downtown Disney. Walt Disney World is an area of restaurants and a couple hotels. They've built it all themselves.

It's not officially the park. This happened in Orlando. Yeah, baby. Disney Springs. So it's in Florida. Yeah. It's in the park. You can get trams from there to the parks.

It's like park adjacent. So who's hanging out at Disney Springs? Are these adults? They have nightclubs there and stuff. And then, like I said, a lot of bars. The one that used to be here, I don't know what happened to it now, but the Hotel California, which is like the official hotel for Disneyland, is in there, downtown Disney. There was like an ESPN zone.

Remember those? Yes. Yeah, we did. So this is like a much, as Disney World is wont to do, this is a much larger scale of that. So it's like their own little nightlife area. Let's get wasted around a Disney. Exactly.

It doesn't feel like right. Right next to Mickey Mouse. Yes. Exactly. There's a great bar at Disney Springs that's themed after. Dan, stop right there. There's a great bar at Disney Springs. You're already losing all credibility.

Am I? Yes. As the boy from Rochelle, Illinois, who spent a lot of time in Wisconsin, I know a good bar. And this bar is themed after the Holocaust. Nope. The guy in Raiders of the Lost Ark who flies the plane, that pilot that picks him up, it's all built

around that character. It is very cool and very well done. I love it. Here we go. Liquor tastes the same no matter where you are. Two sisters. This one has a little more magic in it. It does.

That's because the light bulbs light up It's magic adjacent The light bulbs The ice cubes light up That's what I was trying to say Two sisters from New Jersey Hey, we got someone Someone smashed some beer bottles over there Go get the broom and the dustpan

To go clean it up And then Fantasia starts Two sisters from New Jersey got into a drunken, naked fight. Only it didn't happen in the Garden State. It took place at Disney Springs.

Two sisters got naked and fought. Fought each other? At Disney. Fought each other? Yes. It is a small world after all. So they were like, we're in a fight,

but let's get naked first? You know I'm going to break it down for you. Irene. But also, don't ever stop asking these questions. Dan. You know, you jump in wherever you want. This is a constant game of double dutch. The shirt comes off, it's like we're ready to go. But the lack of self-awareness to

go that far into a fight with someone you know in public is we fought in public before and it's embarrassing argued maybe not naked argued on sets before dan seen that it's always the guy to like guys do this where a guy will like take his shirt off let's go and i'm like you are now less threatening you're a joke honestly this is feminism there you go so they're taking so they're doing what dudes do because they're like why not why shouldn't we Why shouldn't we be up there?

Why shouldn't we be drunk? Free the fighting nipple. I mean, a topless fight is one thing. A bottomless fight is entirely different. Well, and a power bottom fight is insane. Power bottomless? Power bottomless. Mimosas.

Mimosas. By the way, that could be the name of the Disney bar and then you're talking about it. Power bottoms? The two women were vacationing with their family in Orlando, but we both,, we are all of us already know this was their mom's night out. Yeah. Right. Right. Their families.

Yes. Okay. That night, the sisters ate at a steakhouse and seemed to be having an enjoyable evening at first. Shouldn't the steak soak all that up. And then the article wrote this in parentheses, even if they were 30 minutes late to their reservation,

how is that relevant? And why are you shading them? Someone from the restaurant was like, put down that they were late. Why did he know that? Why would someone go, like, yeah, did someone come running out and was like, also, before this, their dinner earlier tonight, late, 30 minutes late. We still serve them, but just so you know, put that in the article. Not cool to do.

To which I want to ask you guys a question. How late do you think you can be for your reservation and still expect your table? I'd say 15 minutes. 10 to 15 minutes. Right? Yeah. But I always feel like I have to get there early because I have a reservation. Because you're a nice person.

Yeah. I have this pressure of like, I told them I would be there. Yeah. And then I got to show up. I always wonder the people who stroll in. And, and sometimes they'll be up to it. We're like, well, we'll just call and say we'll be a few minutes later. I'm like, but we had a reservation. I know, because Dan cares about the whole night of the restaurant.

Because if you're late, then that screws up the people. They got to turn the table. You don't want to lose that Mickey magic. That's right. So after their steak dinner restaurant, they got drinks at an Irish restaurant. Irish restaurant. Irish restaurant. Irish restaurant.

Yeah. Then the problems began. Cut to the Irish place being like, not us. Can we not? Why does it have to be, oh, we went to an Irish place. It's a Jersey Italian. It has nothing to do with us. But most importantly, were they 30 minutes late?

Not for that. They were on time for that. They were on time for the drinking. Then the problems began. They tried to go back to their hotel off Disney property. Well, just so you guys know, stay on property. Stay on property. Especially if you're drinking that much.

Yeah, even if you have to do Pop Century. Stay there. I don't know what that is. When they tried to go back to their hotel, there are people, townies who do, and they love us for that joke. Pop Century. They tried to go back to their hotel. That's a jam right there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How about the brunch on love us for that joke. Pop century. They try to go back to their hotel. Club 33.

That's a jam right there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How about the brunch on Sunday? Grand Floridian. Club 33. All right. They try to go back to their hotel off Disney property, and then their phone died. So now- They have one phone?

Both of their phone? One phone between them. Wait, one phone or both their phones died? It just says their phone died. These people sound like the most enmeshed. I mean, can you imagine two brothers who are involved with their lives so much that they have to be around each other? Hey, where's our phone? Where's our phone?

You had it. I don't know. Can I admit something? I've been developing this thing. Why would two brothers be around each other even for like five minutes as adults? It's annoying. So stupid, right, Rand? Yes. Brother? brothers be around each other even for like five minutes as adults annoying can i admit something yes brother for a long time i've been developing this like cop show that isn't about cops and i

irene and i have talked about her and i being partners on it and that right there where she goes their phone and then the look i'm like 100 a cop asking somebody a question excuse me yeah your own dumb thing as she looks up from her notes, their phone. Their phone. Okay. Disney security helped call them an Uber.

That's a Disney magic. Sure. The Uber driver refused to take them as he was worried they were too drunk. The women argued while waiting for a taxi

and then their night unraveled. And then it unraveled. Okay. I feel like it already unraveled. Someone at the bar should give them a charge on the phone. Just for fun. I'm going to ask you guys. Plug it in.

Okay. At what time do you think the police got called? And then we will take a break. We will come back, find out, and keep unraveling. When do you think the police were called? When do you feel like... Post-steak dinner, post-Eiderspar. That's why I'm trying to do the math on that.

30 minutes late for the steak dinner that they finished. Right. So let's say dinner's at, what, 8? Sure. Show up at 8.30. Show up at 8.30. Then they go to the Irish place at 10.30? Probably.

They're there for a while. They're drunk. Maybe it's 1. Then the cops get called. I'm going to say 2.30, 3? 2.30 a.m. Jay, what do you think? But then their night unraveled.

So I think it happened earlier than that. I think cops got called at like 11.30. 11.30. I think their dinner was at 7. They showed up at 7.30. Well, they put the kids down. They put the kids down, showed up at 7.30. They grabbed their phone.

They grabbed their phone. It was at 30%. They told their toddler, call us if anything goes wrong. We are leaving you here. And the phone will be on. Did you charge my phone? Yes.

It'll be fine. Right. It's at 30%. All right. So then they had dinner for a couple hours and then they were out. But can I ask you, as parents,

have you, I'm sure you've had times where you needed your phone and went to use your phone and your child had killed the battery. Yeah. Or you left the house with it not having enough battery and it's because of them.

So what's your guess? 11? I said 11.30 cops. Randy? I'm going to say their dinner reservation was at 6 and they were mad that they made it so early and that's why they showed up. There's no way they were going to make a 6 reservation. So it's a little bit petty for the restaurant. I'm not on their side. It's a little bit petty for the restaurant. I'm not on their side.

It's a little bit petty for the restaurant to be like, because you shouldn't have dinner reservations. Anyway, so 6.30 they show up. They finish dinner at 8. They go over to the Irish bar. An hour and a half of just pounding, pounding, pounding. So 9.30. Now they're so drunk and they've got to go home.

And it's early. But they're just like, get them out of here. They call an Uber. They wait for an Uber. They call a taxi. The night starts to unravel. So I think it starts to unravel at 10.45. 10.45. Wait, so you said 10.45. I said 2.30,

which now I feel like I went too high. You might be right. No, I'm sticking with it. Well, you got time to think about it because we're going to take a break. When we come back, we will talk about your number one comedy album. We'll talk about how we kept being friends. And then also we'll talk about other things we have going on. It's all on Dumb People Town right after this.

Stick around. Make a sound. There's more Dumb People Town. Hey, guys. Welcome back to Dumb People Town. We're here. We're still being friends. We have the great Irene Tu with us.

Before we get into what she's doing, Daniel, tell people where they can see you. Oh, my gosh. I don't know when this will drop, but if you go to DanielVanKirk.com, you can figure it out. I've got digital shows you can do that are super fun and hang out with me and other great people. Plus, I'm on the road. If this is anywhere around end of April, beginning of May, you can find me in New Orleans, Mobile, Atlanta, Asheville, Savannah, San Antonio, and more dates coming up. It's all at DanielVanKirk.com. Plus, in case it hasn't happened yet, live Dump People Town.

Come see me in the Sklars at Moon Tower. It's so much fun. And then the Come and Take It Comedy Festival at the end of May, like the 20th of May, I will be doing a live pen pals and headlining sets at that festival. Everything is on my website. It's a great festival. We've been to it. We will be at Moon Tower, as Dan mentioned. We will've been to it. We will be at Moontar,

as Dan mentioned. We will also be in May. We will be at the Crocodile. Oh yeah, you will. Seattle. I want to sell those shows out. Four shows, two Friday,

two Saturday, Crocodile, the 13th and 14th of May. And let's talk about your comedy album where people can get it and listen to it and review it

and rate it so we can keep you number one. Please, I would love that. So I just dropped my debut album. It's called We're Done Now. We're Done Now. And you're done with comedy. You retired.

That's so crazy. Well, it was more about humanity. But yeah, you know, that too. Where'd you do it? I gave them a break. Did it at the Punchline in San Francisco, my home club. The best. One of the best clubs.

Maybe the best club in the country. I mean, as far as like tightly packed, nice atmosphere. Great staff. Great staff. Great staff. But stage that makes you feel comfortable and encourages you to try things. Appropriately placed green room. Very easy to get into when you walk in. Yes.

Very easy to access the stage from when you walk out. Wish there was a bathroom in the green room. I agree with that because you got to use the public bathroom, which is across the bar. Which is all the way across. Across the bar. I just pee out in the public courtyard on the grass out there. Is that cool? Yeah, totally cool.

The grass on the roof of the building. You could also pee in the kitchen, I suppose. It's right there. Sure. How do you think they make the mind ties? So you did it there, two shows? No, just one show. Wow.

One show? That was not by choice. I will say that. But you had to get it. You couldn't fuck around and be like, well, I'll get it on the second show. When you walked off stage, did you say, I got it? We got it we got it oh well i'll tell you a funny story about that um i so i didn't like finalize the set list till that day sure because i was trying to figure out the order of the jokes and it like wasn't working then i finally was like i think this is

it i'm like hoping i memorize it yeah i do the show and i'm like there's a couple things that i wish i could redo a little bit but you can't really tell it's like more for me right sure i get through the whole set i'm like oh my god i fucking did it yes and then at the end i i'm like uh you know thanks everyone i'm irene too or whatever the thing i say at the end is my voice cracks a little bit as I'm saying my name. And it's on the album. It is? Great. Because I can't fix it.

Real shit is great on comedy albums. Because what people don't realize is that comedy albums are snapshots of your comedy in that moment. And it was a live show. It's a live show. Well, that was the reason. Because people were clapping at the end because it was done. And then because you don't remember how it's going to sound audio-wise. So I was like, oh, I have to say my name louder because, you know, so they can hear me.

So you pushed. So I pushed it too much and I go, Irene, too. Like you can hear just slightly. I'm like, I've never said my name like that before. Get the album just for that. You got to listen to all the voice crack. And you did it with Blonde Medicine and our buddy Dominic DelBene. Yes.

The best. I love him. That's where. The best. I love him. That's where I did mine. I love him. I'll promote all the things that he is involved in. He's the best. Especially because it's you. He's amazing.

He loves comedy so much and we worked with him too. Download this album, people. And I'm going to say this a little bit farther than that. The power of audiences, companies, and everybody really takes like, wow, people must be loving it. Go onto Twitter. Go onto Instagram. Tag SiriusXM and say you want to be hearing those tracks as well. companies and everybody really takes like, wow, people must be loving it. Go on to Twitter, go on to Instagram, tag SiriusXM and say you want to be hearing

those tracks as well. That goes a long way. Because if they start playing it, then Irene gets residuals through Sound Exchange and that money can mean something to people, especially if it gets played. And they pay the most. SiriusXM pays the most. They do.

They do. It can be a significant amount of money for somebody who's trying to make their living through comedy. So do it. It's a great way to support. I call that like a comedy fan hack. I tell people, you really want to do something that people will love?

Take your favorite comics and then tell SiriusXM to start playing their tracks. It's a great, great way to do it. Do it for all of us. Do you want to get back into this? Let's do it. Guys, when did we say this happened? You said at 6 a.m., Irene?

No, she said 2.30. Oh, my God. Don't push her thing later. Jay, what's yours? I said 11.30. Okay. And I said 10.45. I'm out the earliest of everybody.

Okay. This all starts, well, the cops got called at 12.40 a.m. Oh! So you were the closest. You were right. You were right. I So you were the closest. You were right. You were right. I think I was the closest. The older sister called the younger sister a bad mom

and slapped her. The younger sister threatened to punch her in return. Your threat was misplaced. Should have come first. I'm not a bad mom. My phone died. What's going on with my kids? At 1240 a.m., the Orlando County Sheriff's Office

got a dispatch about a fight happening at Disney Springs. When they arrived, the younger sister was screaming and crying near Cirque du Soleil. That is... To me, it feels like

half the people. I'm painting a picture over here, kids. Could that be an ad for Cirque du Soleil? I was going to say that. I was like, I think they did that on purpose. Right?

Cirque du Soleil is like, thank you, we'll take the business. Officer 248 to dispatch. Victim is crying near Cirque du Soleil. like, thank you. We'll take the business. Officer 248 to dispatch. Victim is crying near Cirque du Soleil. Which one? She was wearing only her underwear and sandals. Slides, right?

Deputies assisted her and gave her a jean jacket since she was not wearing any clothing. So now she's also fucking cool. Now she's got a jean jacket? Tell me I'm a bad mom. She looks great. That's a good look. A jean jacket. Tell me I'm a bad mom. She looks great. I mean, that's a good look. A jean jacket. Flip-flop. Underwear. Flip-flop.

People could be like, man, that's very avant-garde. Deputies soon learned the story of what had happened from a Disney security manager who witnessed everything. I wish it was from a Disney character.

Yeah. Well, she came out of the garage. She was really mad. She called her a bad mom. She called her a bad mom. saying you're a bad mom. And then you're like, Laura Beetz was there? She would make that joke.

She would make that joke. Wait, wait, wait. I need you to quit that same thing. So then what happened? Well, then she smacked her in the face, and the other sister threatened to punch her. Okay, and then what happened? Well, she took a fighting posture and took her own clothes off. She was completely naked, maybe.

Steal the underwear off. Steal the underwear and the flops. Sir, why do you smell like weed? Oh, don't worry about what I do in my off time. I like imagining her taking off her clothes, and then she kicks off her sandals, and then she's like, no, I've got to leave this back on. Put it back on. This is gross. This ground is gross. You never know what's on

the floor of the Irish bar. So this is all according to the Disney security manager. Quote, the sisters were screaming at each other. Him also. This is his life. This is his night, right? They were screaming at each other. This is what I trained two weeks for. While one of them was sitting on the bench and the other one was standing over her.

After attempting to calm the situation, one female slapped the other in the face oh my god at one point both females began punching slapping and pulling each other's hair the sheriff's report is black eyed peas tonight the security manager pulled the true drunk guests apart jeez i know i know you need a Disney security manager to separate you from your sister. Once separated, both sisters ran at each other, slipped in the younger sister's vomit,

then fell into the bushes while still fighting. Play through! Is there a video of this? No. Dan, I know. If there was video, this? No. Dan, I don't know. If there was video, this is every TikTok.

Yeah, this is every TikTok. I don't think I'd be able to stop watching this. No. They run at each other like- Slipping each other's vomit. Like jousting style. Slipping one of their- They both slip in the vomit.

It's modern. Again, it's only one vomit. It's one or two, but they both slip in. One phone, one vomit. One phone, one vomit. One phone, one vomit. Right, don't Google that, ever. They fell into the bushes, still fighting. The younger sister ran a few feet away,

took off her dress, exposing her breasts. So she was like, it's on, right? I'm so happy I can get rid of this. Shortly after, they began to punch each other again. The security manager and another cast member who witnessed the fight. Cast member. Well, they're all called cast members.

But let's dream that it is Pluto. Oh, yeah. Pretty good. Thanks, Artifact. Get your hands off me. Pretty good goof. They were able to separate the two until- They punched her in the tits.

I've never heard you do that voice in my life. The two until off-duty deputies arrived on the scene. Before anyone asks, this is literally what it says. Before anyone asks, Disney did not have video surveillance of the drunken naked broad. By the way, they've got video. It's a must. They have to. There's no way there's no video.

There's someone in the department who is secretly editing it into a commercial for Disneyland. The officers arrested the drunk guests for domestic violence, battery, and disorderly intoxication. When the deputies questioned the younger sister, the report said that she only wanted to talk about how she didn't like her sister's boyfriend. That's how this all started. All I wanted to do was talk about how I didn't like her boyfriend. All I wanted to do was just take off my dress, throw up on the ground, slip on it, fall in the bushes, and then tell her how much her boyfriend sucks. They were very intoxicated.

The sheriff's report noted, this all happened back in November, and the state's attorney office declined to pursue any criminal charges. So then they got to travel back home to Jersey together? They declined to press charges because neither one wanted to press against the other. We'll get out of here on this

and if you're a Patreon member, you're in luck because Irene's going to tell a fun little quick story from her own life. But you better go listen to and recommend and request We're Done Now. I was going to say here. I know people have been messing it up when they bring me on stage.

They keep saying We're Done Here and I'm like We're Done Now. Now that's what I call we're done now. Yeah. Volume. Hey, everybody, we're done here now. OK? OK.

We're done now. The sisters are two years apart. How old are they? Irene. Wait, are we going to try and guess the year in between? You want to go the year in between? Yeah, let's make it easier. Let's try to guess the year in between the sisters.

What do you mean the year in between? So they're two years apart. So if they were 10 and 12, you would guess 11. So what year do you think is between the two of them? Well, they're not 10 and 12. They're not 10 and 12. I was just giving you a safe example that wouldn't be the answer. Good Lord.

They're six and eight. They were just traveling to Florida. They aren't from Florida. Right. I will say 32. Okay. So you're going 31 and 33. Okay. Jay? I'm going to say

26. Okay. So 25 and 27. I'm going to say 40. 40. So 39 and 41. I will tell you this. Well, first of all, Tonys, get your answers in. Shout it in. Wherever you are. Yell with the windows in. Shout it out. Shout it out.

Wherever you are. Yell with the windows down. Shout it out. One of you guys got within two. Okay. So one of the people I've kept being friends with

got within two. Glad you've kept being friends. Okay. All of us, yeah. The two sisters are? We're done now. Listen to it. Recommend it.

29 and 31 31 30 years old 30 Irene Irene beautiful job that's how we do it that's how we do it I know

it is just dumb stuff happening in the world and I'm glad we have friends that we continue to be friends with like Irene too to break it down with get a new album

we're done now check it out rate it review it follow all of us and go see us and oh shit we gotta get back to work stick around Make a sound, knock it down. It's Dumb People Town.