Dumb People Town - Jade Catta-Preta - Impending Dog

Episode Date: August 16, 2022

This week Jade Catta-Preta comes to town to hang with Daniel, Jason and Randy. The first story is a name battle between baby and dog! The second story is a lesson in casino law. The final story makes a sexy mistake.

Skypains Avenue Hey, Tommy, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Congratulations to you. Congratulations, Jade. Kata. Prada. The third. I want your mom to have that name and your grandma to have that name. Or an aunt.

I need you guys to announce me every time I go anywhere. Jay, Kata, Prada. The third. I want the third. I need that clipped, please. Send it to me. Clip it. Send it.

Do it. Kiddo, lots of great stuff. We're going to talk about it a little bit later on the show. New show, special, all that stuff. Also a part of our show, the nosebleeds. Yes, she makes an appearance in the nosebleeds. So this is what I love, and we'll talk about it a little bit later. Ever since we work with you on Those Who Can,

and I was like, who is this person that is just riffing on the best, in acting and on the best level? Remember we were outside of the school. Back when I used to get theatrical jobs. Yes! Remember those days. COVID took that away. Can we blame COVID?

Yeah, please. But you were just fantastic. I was like, oh my God, if we ever get something, we got to use her. Then we did and you were amazing. Let's dispense with that. Right, Daniel?

Sure, of course. By the way, great job up in Montreal. By the way, Dan kicks so much ass in Montreal. I'm going to brag on him. No, I got in two fist fights. He literally kicks so much ass. And I was like, wait a minute. That was from someone coming up saying,

I really liked your set. And he just started pounding on my butt. The other one was a Cirque du Soleil stage manager. He deserved it. He kicked the stilt out of one guy. The stilt guy as well. No, no, no. Dan hosted The Living Wake,

the show that he and Ryan Sickler have created and that's going to be a show I think you're going to see on TV at some point. It's great by Odenkirk.

Odenkirk and Nicole Byer, they did both of them and they were amazing and then Dan was doing so well that they're like, oh, by the way, can you host

New Faces for us? Host New Faces. But these guys crushed their gala. They had one of the best sets of their lives. Really? Yeah, don't let them

act like everybody else was good. It was a good Montreal forever. We're back. We're feeling good. It's done already, huh? I didn't even have

FOMO from it this year. I feel good about that. No, we're still up there. Oh, it's still there. We're still there. You're here. You're actually on the hologram.

That's how dumb we've gotten. So Randy and I are like, here's the good news. We went international and what we realized is not only is America still dumb, Canada's dumb.

They were all dumb. Remember when Canada was smarter than us? No, they were nicer. They were nicer, but they're dumb. So we get stories sent to us just reminding us that the world is getting dumber and then we share them with our guests and we all fight back. Let's rip it up. Okay, ready? So here's the deal.

I keep getting these sent to me, and they're perfect dumb stories. We've done a couple of them before, but I want to formally do it now. There's a Reddit thread called Who's the Asshole? I love this. I love Who's the Asshole. So a story comes out. It's almost like Block or Charge, which is Rex Chapman. Oh, like a situation happens, we pick who the asshole is.

It's not like on a body part. People post their stories, and then they leave it out to Reddit. Am I the asshole, or is so-and-so or someone else? They can easily call it gray area. That's good. Marriage rough. Or gray man. I haven't seen any promotion of that anywhere.

No? Yeah, it's out. You should turn on a screen. I don't see any promotion for gray man on Netflix. Okay, I'm going to read the headline headline and then At the very end we will decide This is a reddick Rorschach test Who we think is the asshole I also would like to put it out on our social media and do a poll

Let's do that Once you hear it you have to tell us But doesn't this say more about you Jade than Us than the thing Because we're affected by our own experiences of trauma Okay you ready for the headline First of all it was sent in by Carleen McDermott At SheBeCarleen Oh she sends a McDermott at SheBeCarlene.

We love her. She sends stories. Oh, she sends a lot of stuff in. Oh, yeah. SheBeCarlene, bitch. SheBe sending stuff in. She's a reporter in No People's Town. Okay.

A man has revealed he's not allowed to see his newborn nephew because of an argument over his dog. The dog already sounds like the asshole. Wait a minute. You're mad at the dog? Wait, hang on a second. One sentence in, Jade is dog is asshole. I'm gonna say this, and again, we use this example all the time for why Curb Your Enthusiasm is the best show. It's so funny. Yeah, it's so funny.

Nice Yamaka, by the way. is the best show. It's so funny. Nice yarmulke, by the way. Is the idea when Jeff had the new baby. This is so long ago. And he's like, go up and say hi to the baby. See the baby. And Larry's like, I don't want to see the baby.

He's like, go see the baby. Who's that for? The baby's not going to remember me. It doesn't matter if I go see the baby. He's like, go see the baby, you fucking stupid idiot. It's for the mom. He's like, who's it for? And Larry is like, just go do it because whatever.

But he's kind of right. He's voicing what we all do. So this guy wants to go. But this guy wants to see his newborn nephew. But who cares? All right, we'll see. A man has found himself in a huge family argument after naming his dog after his sister-in-law's son.

He can't even see his child dog? Yeah. And he changes on who the asshole is? Wait, what's the name? Jeff. Is the name like a dog name? The anonymous Reddit user explained that he had wanted a dog for ages. Why would they name their kid Rover?

That's so dumb. And had always planned to call him Merlin. So neither of them should have that name. Merlin is a wizard name. It's a wizard, right? Yeah, it's a wizard. Or Merlin Olsen.

Tell me you and your husband met at a D&D game without telling me. So can I tell you my friend, one of my closest friends in the world, Justin Buchleborn, he's amazing. Shout out, Justin. Shout out, Justin. Shout out, Justin. Older British man in the 90s with like when the tunnel in New York was like the biggest club.

Yes, yes. He would go at and dressed as a full on wizard and he would show up at the club at like two in the morning when it was just popping and everyone's drugs were going. two in the morning when it was just popping and everyone's drugs were going. And all of a sudden the DJ and the lighting person would see him and all the music would stop, spotlight on him, like 2,000 people in the place, and everyone would just start chanting, wizard, wizard, wizard, which, craziest thing ever.

What if this kid grew up to be that? Wait, I'm sorry. Oh, wait, he just chose to, like, was he coming from a set? No, he just did it. He dressed as a wizard to give them their wizard moment. He would wake up at one in the morning, ready to go, get onto his cape. But isn't that great that he gave the people who were on drugs their wizard?

That's what they wanted. So there are probably people now who are – He was in a conversation with someone, and someone was recounting the time that this wizard showed up with him, and he was like, that was me. They're like, no way. It's like Hollywood Jesus. Remember Kevin know could have named your kid Hollywood Jesus okay or if he couldn't named his dog Jesus that's he always planned on naming his dog Merlin but when his pregnant sister-in-law heard the name she

decided she wanted the name for her unborn son instead. So she's the asshole. You can't just steal the name. He said his dog name. He said Merlin first. Yeah. He gets it. That's his name. Three months ago, my wife's sister and her husband were at our house,

and at the time, she was eight months pregnant with a boy. What are you going to name it? They already have a girl, so this was their second kid. They hadn't decided on a name for him at the time. At one point in the conversation, I told them that I was going to get a dog finally, as I've always wanted one. Finally.

Wait, what's the daughter's name? Hermione? I know. Merlin was Harry Potter pre-Harry Potter. Yeah, sword in the stone, baby. At one point in the conversation, I told them I was going to get a dog finally, as I've always wanted one and never had one growing up and now i'm how old do you think this guy is 32 okay jay what do you think 44 uh yeah definitely like 47 okay he is 37 years old always wanted a dog never had one growing up okay quote my wife and i my wife was

really happy i was finally getting my dog which also means they've had a conversation where she said it's your dog if you're getting this dog did they have children does it say

no okay they don't I'm assuming they don't but I'm assuming she wants a child you can have a dog I want us you can have your wizard dog

and I'll have my wife was really happy I was finally getting my dog I mentioned that I was going to name him Merlin. By the way, my wife was happy that I was finally getting my dog, that some other bureau above them was granting them permission to get the dog. It could be maybe they moved into a place where now they could have a dog. If they were an apartment.

I know. I like the idea that they're waiting for... Me too. Somebody comes in and checks in on them. Waiting for permission to get there. You've achieved it. We can finally get it. We can finally get it. So, she said,

I mentioned that I was going to name him Merlin. I've had that name saved for him since I was a kid. Because that's a child's name. Right. Yes. After the expecting parents fell in love with the name, the man agreed to let them use it, but said he would still be calling his dog Merlin too.

This is where he becomes a little bit of an asshole. Why? Why? He said, I'm letting you have it, but I'm still using it. He goes, I'm going to name my dog Merlin. We love that name. We want to name our kid Merlin. He goes, fine, go ahead and do it.

But I'm still going to name my dog Merlin. This is so sticky though it's just it isn't though this is normal to me you think they can take they can take the name because there's going to be

a lot of confusion at parties you know the story I've told this on here have I not told this story on here Travis no my neighbor when I first moved

into my house there was an older Japanese woman and I was walking my bulldog and she had this big gorgeous golden older Japanese woman and I had was walking my bulldog and she had this big gorgeous golden retriever dog and I wanted to introduce myself to the neighbors and I'm talking to this woman and all of a sudden like the leashes get all you know I said I'm Randy and

then the leashes get all tangled up and whatnot and all I hear is uh you know we said this is Virgil and all I hear is Keiko. And then we get it untangled, and I'm talking to the woman longer, then all of a sudden the dog gets its nose right in my crotch. It's like uncomfortably, like zeroes in, goes in and is there. And I start going, Keiko no,

Keiko get your nose out of my crotch. Boy, Keiko's really loving my balls right now. Wow, Keiko really went for the old, I was like Keiko stop, stop, Keiko no. And then later I found out that the woman's name is Keiko. Why was the old I was like Keiko stop stop Keiko no and then later I found out that the woman's name is Keiko why was she saying her own name what's the dog's name

like Judy I don't know the dog's name is Merlin Keiko no get your nose out of my balls but that's who cares I like human names

like my dog's name is Cheryl great that's so funny my dog's name was Emma Emma yeah that's cute Dana Gould's dog's name is Scott Davis Scott Davis that's so funny. My dog's name was Emma. Emma? Yeah. That's cute.

Dana Gould's dog's name is Scott Davis. Scott Davis. That's really funny. First name and last name. And he has songs about him. My dog's name was Mike. Yeah, I like Pumatants. I want Shoshana for my next one.

Shoshana. Shoshi. Shoshi. The post continued. They got all mad and told me not to do that as a son was more important. So now they've taken it and said, you can't. And your child dog isn't as important as our son. I said, who cares if they both have the same name? It's just a dog.

And I thought of it first and had the name thought of since I was a kid. He really, he's a kid. And his sister should know if they were close as a kid. Or that she knows her son. No, it's his wife's brother. Oh, I see, I see. And his wife. know if they were close as a kid. Or that she knows her son. No, it's his wife's brother. Oh, I see, I see, I see. And his wife. Oh, man.

So he's not related to these people at all. Wow. So these are like in-laws. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Crossing marriage lines. Oh, God. Yeah. Quote, they basically forbid me to name my impending dog.

Never said those two words together in my life. He hadn't even bought the dog, by the way, at this point. My impending dog. It's impending doom. It's not impending dog. By the way, doesn't my impending dog sound like a Sarah McLoughlin album? Yes. Or a Channing Tatum movie.

It sounds like the dog is lost in the mail. It's impending. They forbid me to name my impending dog Merlin. After the baby was born, the man adopted a German shepherd from a rescue shelter and used his favorite name. He said, I posted pics of Merlin online and immediately started getting texts from my sister-in-law and her husband telling me to rename my dog. Wow. Wow. This is insane.

I mean, they're the assholes. 100%. It's not even a debate. Yeah. But I know later in the story, he's going to want to see their kid. And it's like, you know that that's off the table. You stole the name and then asked me to change my dog's name. And now I can't even see the baby you stole the name with?

That's right. My wife and I think it's so silly that they're upset, especially since it was my name first. Right. This is like a John Jacob tingle. Stop saying it's mine. I called it. They refused to come over or have us over to see their son Merlin until I officially renamed my dog.

Wow. My wife and I refused to rename Merlin. We absolutely 100% will not rename him. I will not. I think they should stick to that. They will not change it. And why is that? I mean, was this a name you had from childhood?

Yes. Yes. Since I was a boy. Wait, what was the dog's name when they adopted him? Did they say it on there? It's always something shitty like Coco. Yeah, right. They look snowflake.

It's always something weird. There are plenty of comments on the post with one writing, I think they're overreacting. I feel like both of you can have the name and it's not that weird. Agreed. But either way, you had it first so can't blame you someone else wrote you don't own names they knew you were going to name your dog that and they decided to name their kid that that is 100 so for all of us it is 100 it's like me meeting another jade and being like all right we battle we take it to the death.

No, you don't own a name. And he made it clear that that's what he was doing. And you got the name from him. The only way, this is where he's kind of an asshole. If they're like, hey, we're thinking about naming our son Merlin. And he's like, oh, that would be the best name for a dog. And then all of a sudden, two weeks later, he has a dog and he's like, it's Merlin. And they're like, wait, we would be the best name for a dog. And then all of a sudden, two weeks later, he has a dog. He's like, it's Merlin. And they're like, wait, we said we're naming our kid Merlin.

That tracks way more. But it's kind of unfair that they're making like a baby. Look, I get it. A baby is like a bigger deal than a dog. Okay. But to some people, it's not. I know. Like that's their child as well.

Maybe his wife is Barron. Yeah. Who knows? Which also would have been a great name for a dog. Barron is pretty sick. Yeah. Barron. Who, me? No, the dog have been a great name for a dog. Barron is pretty sick. Barron. Who me?

No, the dog. Also, great name for a kid. Well. Barron. Barron Vaughn. That's story number one. Also, the name is like, I hate the name, so I just think they're both idiots. Merlin is so dumb to fight over.

You know you're going to call the dog like Merly, Mervtown, Mervish. I just know one syllable. What's up, Mer? Yeah. So, fighting over a sleeve of Ritz crackers. Right. Who cares? Hold on.

I care. Why? You like those, huh? Crackers are crackers. Town and country. Keebler. I'm more of a toasted guy, but that's a whole other joke. Wait, so fudge strikes?

Was the majority of people, were the majority of people or wasn't? They had to be on this dude's dog set. I don't know, but we're going to find out in our own time. I want to know what Merlin the baby turns out. He hears this story one day. Also, he'll be like, this is so, so when my first daughter was born and my wife's mother is in the delivery room with us,

which was also- Maybe the dumbest thing you've ever done. Absolutely. And she wanted to smoke in there. Was she there for number two? She wanted to smoke. like wanted to smoke in there was she there for number two she was not in there can I smoke into the vagina

I heard it helps she's like so her mom and she didn't know the name of the baby and then we this is like such a great moment

so our first baby is born and we're like in tears and it was kind of a crazy birth where her umbilical cord was her arm was kind of choking her and they had umbilical cord was or her arm was kind of

choking her and they had to like go and get the salad spoons to get her out pardon me for saying that but like they didn't know where they were and like all these people come into the room and they you know it was a serious thing and then the baby comes out and we're so happy and like it's crazy crazy moment and we're she's like what her mom's like, what's the name? And we're like, it's Daisy. Daisy is her name. And then the mom doesn't say, that's a beautiful name. Oh, my God. I love it so much.

She's like, oh, we used to have a dog named Daisy. That's what she said to us. Well, why is it offensive when the dog is a human name? Why do people think that that's an offensive thing? I'm like, I don't care. My wife kind of got a little mad. I was like, what? Who cares?

Who cares? It's a great name. Aren't you more mad about you're trying to smoke cigarettes? Yeah, exactly. I was like, I don't care. My wife kind of got a little mad. I was like, what? Who cares? Who cares? It's a great name. Aren't you more mad about you're trying to smoke cigarettes? Yeah, exactly. I was like, come on, Carol, stop. Carol? That's story number one.

Carol would have been a good name for a dog. We'll post this and find out. All right, that's story number one. All right, we'll let you decide who is the asshole and when we come back after the break, we'll tell you what Jade Cata Preta

is up to as well as remind you guys how to support our show the nosebleeds and what dan's got going on too it's dumb people town don't go anywhere stick around make a sound there's more dumb people town hey guys welcome back to dpt uh before we get into jade's uh cool stuff that she's doing randy and i are going to continue to make an impassioned beat the drum as it were we are asking you to watch

the free episode that's available on UFC's YouTube of the nosebleeds if you listen to this podcast it is not a huge deal to watch it and I think you will love it it is us roasting the absurdity of 1993's UFC 1.

Rob Corddry is in the first episode. It is so fun. So dumb and fun. It's really honestly something we worked so hard on. Dan worked super hard on it as a great writer. And he really in many ways sort of was like our, I won't say almost like our head writer of the studio stuff because he was there and like helping us with jokes on the fly. He and Brad Morris.

He and Brad Morris. The two of them, like without them, like they helped us so much and contributed so much into the show. So there's a lot of Dan in the show. There's a lot of us and obviously it's our show, but it means the world to us. And we fear that if we don't get enough people to view it, then we won't get to make more. And that's where we ask we call upon you guys we say hey you're our

townies this is your chance to support us and for everyone who's already watched and left a good comment on YouTube thank you that matters so much and leave a comment and subscribe and please please please yeah yeah totally Jade Katapretta is in the Fry Takayama episode which is I believe episode 2 on this

so that's available on Fight Pass she's in a sketch that we did called UF episode, which is, I believe, episode two on this. Two, episode two. So that's available on Fight Pass. She's in a sketch that we did called UF Cuts, which is... Debra's in it. Which is, oh my God, there's so many good people. Oh my God.

Debra DiGiovanni was in it and fantastic in your scene. So again, we've really included all of our comedy friends. There's kids in it, if that's what you're into. Kids in it.

We named one of them Merlin. All that stuff. Big debate. So all that is out right now. You can look at it. If you go to our Instagram, at Sklar Brothers, you can see our link in the bio. Watch it. We named one of them Merlin. All that stuff. Big debate. So all that is out right now. You can look at it. If you go to our Instagram, at Sklar Brothers, you can see our link in the bio.

Watch it. Do all that stuff. We have dates coming up, but if you go to supersklaris.com, we are going to be doing Dumb People Town live. Three dates in October. October 13th,

which is a Thursday in Nashville. October 14th, which is a Friday in Chicago. Chicago at the Den. That's so fun. And then you guys head where? Oklahoma? And we go to Oklahoma for one night.

How long are you in Chicago? Just a night. Okay, just that one night, because my friends have a restaurant in Michelin. Sorry, you guys need to go. Oh, we'll go. Casama. Casama.

Oh, we'll go. We'll go. I love it. Good shout out for that. James Beard Award. Yeah. Boom, boom, boom. And then on Sunday night,

we're going back to the place where it's always good, is the Bell House in Brooklyn. Can't wait. We've got Andrew Dismutes is our guest from SNL and Roy Wood Jr. is our guest and Cut Worms, one of my favorite bands ever, is going to be playing. And then in Nashville, by the way, we've got

Dusty Slay. Dusty Slay is our guest and Steve Poltz, who's like a great singer-songwriter. He's going to be there. It's at the Hutton in the Analog Room. We'll put it all up. It's all up on our superscleros.com and Daniel have it at danielvancurk.com let's sell all these shows out let's do it let's go on the run it's going to be so fun you guys live making people

I know doing this show live is really one of the most fun things to do danielvancurk.com great place to see where you can catch Dan live he's got a lot of dates coming up I'm doing the like Red Bull Rapids which is people build their own rafts for Red Bull and then race them in Oklahoma City. Oh, I heard about that.

Yeah. I didn't know they were doing Extreme, right? Yeah. I think it's on the 27th of August. And then on the 26th, the night before, I'm headlining the Blue Whale Comedy Festival. So fun. And then on Sunday, the 28th, I will be at the Addison Improv. I love that place.

In Dallas. And then beginning of September, on the 8th, 9th, and 10th, I'm headlining in Honolulu. Everything is at danielvankirk.com. So Jade, you got, is this a special that we helped? Yes, so last time I was here, yes, last time I was here, I was very jaded. Hello. Why isn't that the name of the special?

I was really tired. I was really burnt out. And then I got some downtime, and now I'm finally releasing all of it, all at the same time. So I'm really excited. So we opened for this special and it's amazing. It's

really, really good. So that's not even the one that's coming out. Oh, really? Yeah, that one comes out September 1st. So August 16th I've got Hotties coming out, which is my new it's a dating, hybrid dating, cooking competition show. Really stupid you guys. So stupid. We just, you guys. Do you get to dress silly? Me and J. Chris Newberg just sat in a trailer watching these people go on dates and eating spicy stuff and throwing up and stuff.

It was so funny. That is hilarious. Oh, it was the best. I love it. Oh, my God. And then August 28th, my special that I filmed at Helium in Philly is coming out on YouTube. And then September 1st, the musical that you guys. Oh, my God.

You have so much good stuff. Putting it all out. Great. I love it. Staying put, not traveling a lot, just kind of getting settled. That's so good, number one.

And where can they see the dating? The dating show is on Hulu. So August 16th on Hulu, check it out. Yeah, baby. And then August 28th will be at the Comedy Helium YouTube.

I'll send you guys all the links and all the stuff. And then on my YouTube, you can find it. So go to her YouTube and follow and subscribe the stuff. And then on my YouTube, you can find it. So go to her YouTube and follow and subscribe that. When you're on our, after you watch the nosebleeds, pop over to hers. Yeah, it'll have a little link to mine

and then you'll be like, hey, what's up? Yes. I love it. Well, I just love when you're, again, we loved being a part of the other thing you shot and that was just a blast. Yeah, I'm excited. It took me a while.

You know when you do something and you watch it right away, you're like, this is garbage. I wasted the last 14 years of my life. No, no, no. I know that feeling. And then it took me a blast. Yeah, I'm excited. It took me a while. You know when you do something and you watch it right away, you're like, this is garbage. I wasted the last 14 years of my life. No, no, no. I know that feeling. And then it took me a while. Now I look back and I'm like, I did it. I'm done with it.

You did great. On to the next. Right, good. I love it. Turn the page, baby. Let's do that right now. The smart thing to do is support that. The dumb thing to do is in our next story.

Yeah, very much so. This was sent in by Sam Householder, at Sam Householder. He's the king of the householder. Yeah, sounds like a. This was sent in by Sam Householder. At Sam Householder. He's the king of the householder. Yeah, sounds like a lazy Game of Thrones character. Sam Householder. Like he makes everyone's weapon.

What house is he in? He's House of Householder. He lives in an apartment. Yeah, for sure. Sam here for now, Householder. Okay, there's two things at a casino that they don't want you to do win exactly number two

kill strippers number two is cheating yeah number one they don't care if you cheat if you don't take their money number one is take money even when you do it

like even when you win they don't want to give it to you they don't like it they don't like it I guess it's an Indian gift gambler charged for allegedly at Jade

got it gambler charged for allegedly... Gambler charged for allegedly asking someone else to claim jackpot. So you can't ask someone else to claim your jackpot? Yeah, because you could be scheming. LaPorte County, Indiana, a player at the

Blue Chip Casino was charged with cheating at gaming for allegedly asking someone else to claim his winnings according to court records but why why is that a problem but also why is that a problem because if you've been winning a lot in a row then they catch on to you but if somebody else claims that then it's like throws them off of you a little bit here's this reason got you on april 20th nice billy j butler had won at a table game but his winnings billy j but his winnings. Billy J. Butler did kill a stripper that night.

That's right. He always has one button undone. He also tells you a lot of things about Billy J. Butler. Yeah, in third person. Billy J. Butler, don't wash your hands. By the way, Billy J. Butler has worn a baseball hat to a funeral. He was good at sports in high school. What the hell are Jason and I doing right now?

Yeah, literally on the Trader Joe's. What is happening right now? Yeah, literally on the Trader Joe's. What is happening right now? We both work at different Trader Joe's. That's right, guys. I'm a manager and he's like my trainee. Those JoJo's aren't going to stock themselves, guys. Hey, guys, we're out of those chocolate-covered peanut butter filled pretzels. Hey, where's the Gorilla Munch?

You guys are crushing the resort wear. Sure, yeah. Doesn't Gorilla Munch sound like something terrible you do to a woman? What is Gorilla Munch? Gorilla Munch is a cereal. you do to a woman? What is Gorilla Munch? Gorilla Munch is a cereal. Did you know that, Jade? No. I've never heard that in my life.

My kids loved Gorilla Munch. Gorilla Munch. I love Gorilla Munch. It's like a peanut butter flavored little ball. It sounds like a Jewish pro wrestler. Can I take that? Gorilla Munch soon. Gorilla Munch.

Okay. I can't get over you two now. I feel like you guys argue about my ties. Okay. No, it's half and half then the syrup. I said three umbrellas. That's how you want to make it. I mean, that's just not, you know.

Half and half then the syrup. Well, the tiki torches are too close to us. Right. And they're too hot. Look, Billy J. Butler, he orders his fast food without wrappers. Okay. I just want you to hand me the sandwiches. Okay, Billy J. Butler, BJB.

He was so hot in high school. Oh, my God. Well, wait until you see what he looks like now. I gorilla munched that guy in high school so hard. Like a car driving off the lot, he just starts to depreciate. To value right as soon as high school's over. He had an Eagle Talon. The only J-Buller.

Had won at a table game. He had won. So he won. But his winnings were intercepted because he owes how much in child support? Oh, no. So when he went to turn his winnings in, they ran his name and they go, I think this is a law in some states. Amazing. You can't claim winnings at a casino if you owe.

Can't they just claim it and give the woman the money that he won? I bet they do. They did. They did. So they intercept his winnings and they go, you owe child support. You don't get your money. That's why he wanted someone else to. Exactly.

So he wins once. So this guy is the asshole. Are we still doing that? Yeah, yeah. We're still doing that. 100%. We knew from the name. How much do you think he owes in child support that his winnings were intercepted?

A lot. Probably 20 grand. 20 grand. Jason? What do you say? Billy J. Butler. What's your vibe on a Billy J. Butler? I think he owes $45,000.

I was going to say $37,000. $37,000. Okay. Oh, shit. Just for fun, I'll tell you that one of you is only $3,000 off. Okay. He owes $48,000 in child support. I knew it. This guy hasn't been paying it free.

He's never paid it. Garbage. The kid is 18. Total piece of shit. Multiple kids are 18. Yeah, I mean, god damn. Later in the day. He's got two kids who are 18 and they're not twins.

Right. So Billy J. Butler, BJB, who definitely knows the casino dealer, like the dealer's first name. What's up, Teresa? Yeah, yeah. And not like their real name, not the one on the name tag. Yeah, exactly. It says Rick, but he knows it's Steve.

That's not their real name? Wait a minute. Hang on. He wins, goes up, tries to cash out his chips. Nope. You owe child support. They ran his name. Later in the day, he wins how much money at a slot machine?

Oh my God. A slot machine? Same day. He wins enough to make it matter. $18,000. $18,000. What do you think, Jay? How much can he really win on a slot machine? It's all quarters, isn't it? I'm going to say 50 grand. I'm going to say he wins 50 grand.

Like he wins the child support. I think 70 grand. Okay. You guys are very nice. He won $1,300. Okay. Still a lot. I mean, you would tell.

You get back from Vegas and you're like, I hit a $1,300. 15 grand. I would do that, yeah. But he asked a stranger to collect the winnings for him because he knows. And there's no camera catching that in the casino. No. That's the other thing. There's a camera in everything at a casino.

Idiot. In every slot machine. Do you guys remember the story where, I think I told you this, Jade, I'll tell you. I'm playing roulette. Yep. And I always play the same numbers, right? Yeah. And the wheel stops on 24.

Is that your number? Because that's my favorite number. No. Okay. Because I love that. The dealer, whatever you'd call the dealer in the cinema. Is that your number? Because that's my favorite number. Okay, because I love that. The dealer, whatever you'd call the dealer in this scenario, puts the marker on my chip. And I go, I don't bet 24. And then I look, and it's on 23, Michael Jordan. Of course.

Of course. Chicago. Illinois, baby. No friends. And there's somebody else's chip there. Chicago. Illinois, baby. No friends. And there's somebody else's chip there. And I go, that's not the right number. And I look at the wheel, and the wheel says 24. And I look at the marker, and the marker says 23.

And there's a guy and his 22-year-old kid, and he's like, you got it wrong, you got it wrong and he's like yelling at her like, that's not the number, that's not the number. And she is not looking at the wheel. She's just looking at her mark, right? And she goes, you didn't bet this. And he's like, that's not where the ball is, that's not where the ball is. And she's like, sir this is the number

and I'm looking and I say to the couple next to me who also are on a winning market. What do you do here? I go, cash out, cash out. Because we just won a good amount of money. So I go, I just want to cash out. So she starts cashing, coloring me out. And then she calls to the pit boss over.

Wait, did you make this movie? Yeah, you just did this. How many chips did you have? When they color you. I know, but Dan. That's how many chips you got? No, she's coloring me. I'm not pushing her. That's how many chips you got? No, she's coloring me. I'm not pushing her.

She's pushing me. So she starts coloring me out, and I tell these people, I'm like, you need to cash out. So then she calls over the pit boss. Oh, God. And he walks over. And now there's a screen on roulette wheels, right? And they tell you the number. Oh, yeah.

And the screen says 24 as well, which is where the ball is. Oh, my God. She's marked 23. And he goes, sir, she didn't. It's not on 23. It's 24. And he goes, it's not on 23, it's 24. And he goes, look, man, the screen isn't always right. He still hasn't looked at the ball. Oh my god, Dan! He goes,

the screen isn't always right. The number up here is not official. What happens in the wheel is official, but he hasn't looked at the wheel, right? So then he goes, it doesn't matter if it's just 24. She marked 23 because it's 23. At this point, while she's coloring me out oh my god and the pit boss is arguing with the guy and no one's looking at the wheel the dealer looks at the

wheel no and she reaches down picks the ball up and puts it in 23 yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah dan i know and i'm like just take my money. Walk out and take the gift. So I get my money. Maybe leave town. Now, there's another guy playing, and this dude is spreading like $300, $400 a time, right? What? If you're spreading that much, you lose that much. He doesn't even care.

So he's whatever. He's like playing on his phone, drinking. They're sorting this out. So then she picks it. She moves it. He's like playing on his phone, drinking. They're sorting this out. So then she picks it.

She moves it. Right after she moves it, the pit boss goes, fine. The wheel says, because he looks down. And then the guy looks down and he goes, oh, I'm so sorry. I swear I thought it was it. And he doesn't know that he was right. And I'm looking at this woman and I go, if they look at this tape, because they usually look at everything that's a dispute.

If they look at this tape, she's fired. She's gone. She's more than fired. Because she moved it. And because she cost the casino money. It's not just that she moved it, Dan. If she moved it off of a thing to a law use, from a win to a love. What's it to her? Who cares?

Just make, say sorry. Here's the thing I can't get. She just looked down at the very beginning when he complained. Here's the thing I can't get. You should just look down. Yeah, just look down. At the very beginning when he complained. Here's the thing I can't get over. Jason and I wore the exact same shirt. I don't understand it. Like, how many other shirts I could have worn? To wrap this up, I leave.

I get my money. I go to the, I cash my chips out, right? And then I find my buddy at another table and I go, fuck. I ordered a drink. I want to go back over. No, you do not, Dan. You get American drinks everywhere for free. Let it go.

Go ahead and give them your money back. I'm going to go get my drink. No. So, Dan. No, Dan. Did you give the money back at that moment? As I'm walking back up and I'm like, man, I hope, like, I don't know what I'm walking into.

I start hearing screams at the table. Like multiple people screaming, screaming, screaming. In the time I left and then went and saw my buddy and then went to go get my drink, $400 guy hit for $13,000. Wow. Because he had $400 on one number and hit. So now the place is going nuts. So she's definitely going to get fired.

She's gone. She's done. And no one has, now, no one remembers what just happened. Even like the guy with his son. Yeah, but it brings more attention to that table. Dan's like, did you say, what's going on over here? Hey, did someone see a Jack

and Coke? Just waiting for my drink. Were all the numbers correctly recorded here tonight? I'm just curious. Dan's like, you guys might want to look at the tape and see what. Okay, back to this. I have a lot of money that I may not deserve. I don't like gambling. Why?

I'd rather spend it on a massage or a float. I hate gambling so much. I'd rather give it to a person, literally. How hard do you work for your money? So hard. I used to love it, and then now I'm like, if I lose one hand in blackjack, I'm like, fuck. I can't think of it. The whole night I'll be upset.

Everybody, and I'm burning this whole thing down. We went to Vegas, and they both won on blackjack in memory of their dad, and they were pretty happy then. Yeah, they were happy. Yeah, you. Okay. I'm ready to burn that place down. Unless I sit down at a blackjack table and win nine hands in a row, I'm ready to burn the whole place down. Okay.

No, no. So he goes- Unless someone moves the ball on a number, I'm ready to burn the whole place down. No, no. Unless someone moves the ball on a number, I'm not. Okay, so he wins $13 on a slant machine, right? He asks a stranger to go collect the winnings. Right. A gaming commission police officer was notified of the alleged jackpot switch.

So somebody told? Jackpot switch, also great game show in the 1980s. Jackpot switch. Loved it. Around 6.15pm Switch, also great game show in the 1980s. Jackpot Switch. Jackpot Switch. Loved it. Remake it. Remake it. Around 6.15 p.m., the officer spoke to the woman who was claiming the $1,340 jackpot. A surveillance video review of the win determined the actual winner was Butler.

But when she was told claiming a jackpot for another person was a crime, did anybody know that? No. The woman told the officer that she was offered $200 to collect his prize. She said she did not know it was a crime. When the officer spoke with Butler. I knew it was a crime. People always offer me $200 to collect. I didn't think anything was fishy.

That feels very above board. I buy underage kids drugs all the time. That's right. I buy overage kids. I just bought that kid over there beer. Stop admitting stuff. Then Dan walks up and is like, has anybody changed numbers here?

Because that happened to me. I didn't technically win. What do I do with my fake winnings? He admitted he had asked the woman to claim his jackpot because he thought the casino was going to intercept his winnings again, which is just so flatly. You're going to take my money. I'm like, well, yeah, you're right.

Yeah. Yes. Because you owe money for your child support. The officer told Butler his winnings would be intercepted. Butler then left the casino. Butler was charged with cheating at gaming on April 27th. Mishawaka police arrested Butler on May 10th for unlawful possession of a firearm by a felon.

Of course. Of course. I'm going to show you guys Billy J. Butler. We get to guess how old he is. And you then get to guess. Off of the photo. Wait, this is what pisses me off. The amount of time he spent at that casino,

he could have gotten like a construction job. Right? Or spent time with his kids. But to be fair, if he keeps winning, he's going to pay off that child support debt. But he can't take the money. He'll pay off that child support debt.

But they won't let him have the money in the first place, right? Because it's flat. No, they take it. They take it and give it to the family. So he is working towards his kids education. There was a moment where our dad. In a very shitty way.

Dan, our dad. Our dad used to gamble. Who was great at gambling in the sense that he would, as soon as he lost once, he would leave the casino and go home. Twice in a row. Two in a row, he'd go home. Two in a row, he's gone. One for each of you guys. So he would be putting on his coat.

We were in high school. Putting on his coat, and we're like, where are you going? And he's like, gotta go to the boat. Which the boat, by the way, was just a building that had a little moat around it. Because in Missouri, if it's a riverboat gambling versus a building. So it's like a hotel, but he's like, I gotta go to the boat. Which I love that he called it a boat. It's the building.

We're like, why? He's like, your mom wants new drapes. So he was that confident in himself. I'm going to the boat. To get drapes. Your mom wants drapes. I'm going to the boat. To win that hot, hot drape money.

Drape money. Look, the carpet has to match the drapes. And he was like, I'm going to the boat. It's a building. It's not a boat. To get your mom some drapes. So he was that confident. Maybe this guy's next. And your mom didn't care. She's like, yeah, go get a boat to get your mom some drapes. So he was that confident. Maybe this guy.

And your mom didn't care. She's like, yeah, go get the drapes. I want the drapes. Okay, you ready? Yes. Tell me how old do you think Billy J. Butler is? And we'll post this. Oh my God.

He's like pre-Malone. Jesus. Pre-Malone? He's not post-Malone. He's pre-Malone. He looks like Tommy if Tommy was like not doing well. He's post-alone. He's post-alone He's post alone.

There you go. There you go. That guy's in his 30s. Crazy face tattoo. He's got a paw. Random bruise. He's got a skeleton paw print over his eye. I say 54.

Who looks at this guy and says, not a great dad? Who says not a great dad? I think this guy would be fun to hang out with. Yeah, that guy looks fun as shit. He ain't no 54. Does he have a tattooed goatee? Who is it? Yes, he shit. He ain't no 54. Does he have a tattooed goatee? Who is it?

Yes, he does. Let me see it closer. This is like if Ben Roy still did drugs. But also the tattoo on his face is tribal. I like to think of him as like a religious tribal person. But I do yell at guys. Who out there is expecting this guy to pay his child support? That's the other thing. Right.

Where is it? Maybe she met him before he had the tattoo of the goat. Also, don't get all those tattoos because that could be the money for child support. Also, don't have sex with that. Yeah. You don't have sex with this guy because he can provide a dream. Maybe a dream catcher. It just looks fake.

Dream flusher. You know what I mean? It's so bad. 54. Jay, what do you think? I think he's only like 36. 36? He's like a hard 44.

A hard double. Hard 44? Hard far far. Okay. Hard double four. Hard eight. What's a hard eight? Billy J. Butler.

BJB. BJB. We'll get out of here on this. Is 52 years old. Oh my God. Good. So he looks good. Good.

I was going to say. See? I knew it. You know how I can tell? By the hairline. Right before this, don't you think he just mumbled the words, take it.

Let's take it. All right. There you go. That is story number two. Dan, give us a little teaser of story number three. Shenanigans at a Catholic school. I love it. And for our

patreon fans we always do this with our great guests as we ask them to think up something dumb that they've done in the recent

or they've experienced or they've seen what I love about Jade never afraid to say I did this and this was stupid or I saw this and this was dumb

so patreon fans we get intimate with Jade Catapretta we hear a dumb story of hers and we break it down and then shenanigans at a Catholic school. That's the other side of the break. It's Dumb People Town.

Don't go anywhere. Jesus. Don't go anywhere. We're so dumb. Stay tuned. Don't go anywhere. Don't do it. Don't do it. Stick around. Make a sound for more Dumb People Town. Alright, Daniel. take us home. Okay.

Take us home, daddy. Sent in by Derek Shipley at Derek Shipley. Thank you. I always use Shipley for all my shipping needs. There you go. Catholic school sold Mother's Day flowers stuffed with thongs. What? Yeah.

That's not that crazy. Well, it is if you're a Catholic school. A Catholic school with thongs? Come on. I'm not appalled. It's not like they gave out condoms. I can't imagine. It's not like they were being responsible.

I'm sorry. It's not like they're showing people a thong. Can't you privately wear it underneath your weird Catholic outfit? It's like two-year-old kids. I'll tell you that. Dan, Dan, Dan. Dan, but we've reached a point in our society where people wear thongs to the beach. That's not-

I'm Brazilian. This is not even phasing you. So I'm watching as... Thong is like too much coverage. Yeah, it's like, yikes. Your butthole's covered. Three years of being nude. What are you, a fucking nun?

What are you, granny? Yeah, what are you, not going to get sunlight in your butthole? No, you're fine. No, you're fine. We're coming... Randy and I are having a three-year conversation, and I'm going to continue it.

So I'm watching alone, right? That's my favorite show, by the way. Okay, so you're on... Just finished this last season. Biko is my number one. Don't'm watching Alone. Yes. Right? That's my favorite show, by the way. Okay. So you're on Just Finished This Last Season. Biko is my number one. Don't tell me anything. Come on.

No, 8. Okay. This is from 8. I'm in it. I would never talk about 9. You're in what? You're watching Biko? You're behind.

Oh, don't worry. I didn't ruin anything. Biko's just my favorite person of all time. He's a nut. My wife loves Biko too. I'm obsessed with him. I love Biko.

By the way, Insta messaged him after and was like- What did he say? He wrote me back. He was like, thanks. I was like,

I hope everything comes to you and your family. I know, dude. I love you. I love him. Rocker. Beko. Steven Beko. Episode one of season eight when that guy pretends to have a heart attack when he's

really just having a panic attack. He's just having a panic attack. It's okay to say I'm having emotional issues. I don't want to tap out, but I don't want to die. But I don't want to die. He's so full of shit. It's also in the trailer every time. He's so full of shit.

Wait, do you watch every episode? Don't jump on the guy's heart. Not yet. I mean, every season? Yes. Yeah foolish. Wait, do you watch every episode? Not yet. I mean, every season? Yes. The guy who killed the squirrel with a rock? I think about him still

on a daily basis. So Jay's story is the attitude of my mom. Sometimes I cry when they cry killing an animal. I couldn't do it. So my story is this.

There's always a guy at the beginning of every season, there's always a guy who has no wife, no kids, no nothing. It's like an ex-Marine.

Ex-Marine. Navy SEAL. He builds his fortress in five hours. That's my favorite part when they build a house. He builds a rocking chair and he's whittling brand new shit. He's making a gun out of wood. Yeah, he's making a gun out of something like that. And I'm like, oh, this guy's going to win.

This guy may never come home. He might win. I think at the beginning, I'm like, oh, this guy's going to win. This guy may never come home. He might win. I think at the beginning, I'm like, what if someone goes 300 days? Do they eventually go, hey man, you've killed our budget. We can't pay. What budget? He's still out there. Somebody's processing those SD cards. This is a guy who I swear

to God, I thought the boat was going to come and be like, you won and he'd be like, see ya, get the fuck out of here, I'm fine. Two days in to this whole thing, I'm like, this is the guy of here, I'm fine. Two days in to this whole thing, I'm like, this is the guy who's definitely gonna win. Two days in, he's staring off into the field, tear starts to form on his eye, and then he's like, that squirrel reminds me of my brother,

and I'm like, you're gone, you're gone. You're done. It's the mental. It's the mental shifts. Because they don't call it surviving, they call it alone. And they shouldn't call it lonely, because that's what gets most people. Whenever somebody goes,

I'm just thinking how important family is. You're out. This is what I think about all the time. How much do they actually make? Do they take out, is it just half of it because of the taxes? Do you sit thinking about that? I bet you, because they have to go to a two week boot camp

before they get deployed, get dropped or whatever. Because of the shock. And I think they tell them the more you get on the episode, the more you get paid. So because they have to incentivize them in some way to set all this up in a film. So they train them how to do it. And then that's what gets them to like always. Because some of them I'm like, you're a cinematographer at a certain point. Yeah, some of this stuff is beautiful.

I'm like, how are you getting this? We haven't even got to where I brought this up Dan I also I also think their their filming of it is something that gives them something

to do 100% number one but also that's too much sometimes no they're lugging the cameras but what are you gonna do

you got 24 hours a day by yourself the cool to me I'm like if you are a survivalist or teach survivalism or have this school or whatnot. You know, Rory and I are going on one. Wait, I'm going on one. Rory got me and him for our birthdays.

He got us a camp to go away for like three or four days or something like that. Oh, that's good. Okay, I'm doing a seven-day one. I'm very scared. Oh, my God. Maybe it's seven. I don't know. Rory got it.

So basically You You know The idea that if you're on camera A bunch And you create a personality That comes out there If you like Sell medicinal herbal stuff Like Callie did

Yeah I was like She has now Because everybody knows her And because she has It's like this is You may not win Or you'd be a guide

Use the opportunity That's right You can make a lot of money On the other side No no they do What if one person brought a computer as well? Not getting a Wi-Fi.

Well, did you hear about the guy on like Naked and Afraid Tribe or whatever where it's like a whole bunch of people? He ate tomatoes right before he left because your body

can't break down the seeds and then when he got on the show out into the jungle, he shit tomato seeds and then he planted them and he's growing tomatoes. Oh my god. Y'all want my shit tomatoes?

Y'all want them? You have to gain like 40 pounds before you're on the show. 100%. When someone shows up under 180, I go, you're out. You're out. You better start catching a new animal called pure fat. I became obsessed with foraging from that show. That's my new thing. That's from that show. That's like my new thing.

That's the other thing. Yeah. Yeah, that's the other thing. You're like, some moments like, I don't hunt. I don't really hunt. I just find berries

and I'm like, you're gone. And then she's there like all the way near the end. And I'm like, okay. Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about. I have a whole story to say,

but can I at least justify why I brought this up? Yeah, yeah. So we were talking about Brazil and thongs and nudity. I was watching alone. The guy takes all his clothes off to go into the water and they blur it all, right? They blur his butt. And I said, what?

Why? There's nothing sexual about what's happening here. I don't know. Crack can be really overwhelming for people. But it's just a human body going swimming, but we're going to go like, don, no, no, don't look at a butt. On The Bachelorette, they blur the sides of the butt when the girl's bathing suit is too small. They blur the sides of the butt?

There was one girl on The Bachelorette who they would blur. They put a fake bikini over her. Yeah, they put a fake bikini over her thong. Yes. I've been watching. My wife has been watching The Bachelorette. And they're the one with like two Bachelorette. Oh, it's so boring now. The one Bachelorette. The The Bachelorette, and the one with like two Bachelorettes. Oh, it's so boring now.

The one Bachelorette, I'm like, all these dudes fawning over this person who they don't know. It is so fake. It's so crazy to me, and I'm like, they're not, it's so funny to me. I can't even watch it for more than five minutes, and I'm like, that is just trash. Alone is something that I'm like, there's something here.

I can watch it forever. So I think they should that is just trash. Alone is something that I'm like, there's something here. I can watch it forever. So I think they should combine those two shows. They do. They have Naked and Afraid. No, no. They have a Naked and Afraid dating one. Oh, okay. Where they have to date naked in the woods.

So then I would watch that. It's pretty good. They can't make them fast enough for me. I binge. Life Below Zero? What? Life Below Zero on Disney Plus? I don't know that one.

Oh, I'm writing it down. By the way, there are 17 seasons of it. I just screwed you. You're done. The custom on Mother's Day is to give flowers. We're still here. A relatively simple gesture of love that looks pretty small and smells nice. This isn't very hard to get right, and if you don't want to pay a florist

for a fortune, there are street vendors all over Philadelphia, because that's who they're talking to in the phillyvoice.com that will happily support your mother's day needs somehow a catholic grade school in northeast philly managed to put together a mother's day flower sale who wants these flowers in there did you do your special put it in the arugula salad go get it over and put a thong in it. Put a thong and a Coke Zero in each of those flory things. They included lingerie stuffed into fake roses. Lingerie.

St. Anselm? I don't know. St. Anselm. Yeah. In Parkwood neighborhood. St. Anselm. It serves about 250 students. Mistakenly sold fake roses that had red thongs folded inside the flowers.

That's a great idea. One family shared the discovery on social media, and the mom and dad didn't seem upset by it. School officials explained that the roses were purchased under the impression that they were suitable for Mother's Day. Every rose has its thong. It's like you guys shared a womb. Okay, I hate twin stuff, but I knew he was going to. That's also life stuff womb Okay, I hate twin stuff

But I knew he was going to That's also life stuff You can't hate twin stuff Just like every cowboy Sings a sad, sad song Every rose has its thong You have a good voice, Jade Oh, thanks, you too

The school didn't realize That they were frisky Valentine's gifts Obviously intended for adults and not ideal for an elementary school, let alone a Catholic school. Catholic. Catholic. That was me, not them. St. Ansel and Parrish School took immediate steps to remediate this issue.

They handed out dildos and daisies, folks. But if it was regular underwear, it would have been fine? Right. Or is it just the fact that it's undergarment? Lacy lingerie underwear. Lacy. You know the devil loves lace. I know.

The devil. Ken Gavin, that's a spokesperson for the Archdiocese of Philadelphia. The situation represents an unfortunate mistake, and we apologize deeply. It's interesting, too. Just come at it and go. Whatever. If you think we did that on purpose you're you're what if ken gavin whatever what if ken gavin is that guy who just can't stop

stepping in and he's like that is a huge mistake we made and we as the catholic church can't afford to be making mistakes with all the children we touched i'll take another right i think other things what we're doing as a church are much more... Let's stop focusing on unintentional ways of violating people. Let's talk about all the pastors we relocated because they... So they were like, I'm there for the moms, not for the kids. For the moms. For the moms. We heard that one of these kids gave one to their dad.

And now their dad has a thong. What world are we living in? All right, just take it easy. We'll take one more question. We'll take one more question for Ken Gabbin. I hit my wife, and I don't think that... We're going to cut you off. Gavin, thank you so much for being here.

I drank before I walked up here. Someone get Ken a glass of very big pitcher of water, and let's... We sincerely regret any embarrassment and discomfort that was caused, and wish all mothers in the community a happy and blessed Mother's Day. Even the barren ones who have to adopt children that they'll never love as much as they love.

Ken Gavin, out of here for Christ's sake. For the curious, a bouquet of these Lacey Panty Roses. If that's the title and you got it wrong, that's on you. That's in quotes. If you're like, what do you want to give to the kids to give out to their parents? Lacy panty roses.

That's not the name of a rose? We usually give geraniums, but fine. Lacy panties have really bloomed this year. A bouquet goes for, how much do you think a bouquet of lacy panty roses? $12.99. Okay. Jay, what do you think? Oh, a bouquet of them?

I'm going to say $30. Mm-hmm. $24. $5.45. Oh, wow. We're? Oh, a bouquet of them? I'm going to say $30. Mm-hmm. $24. $5.45. Oh, wow. We're talking good quality lingerie. Good quality classic lingerie. You're edible, too.

You can eat it. This is what they wrote. This is the most Philly part of this article. We'll get out of here on this. This is what they wrote. They go, they come from dhgate.com, the Chinese e-commerce site whose vendors supply Northeast Philly with tons of bootleg Eagles and Sixers jerseys, which look authentic enough. If you're going cheap on the jersey, you might as well drop a few of these bad boys in the

shopping cart and save for that special someone a trip to Victoria's Secret. I got a Donovan McNats jersey. It went to Philly at the end. I got a Terrell Owen jersey. You know, your lady's going to love one of these. You better get it. Yeah. Bryce Helper.

Anyway, there you go. It's like the amount of energy we spend on not allowing women to be sexual. It's like, can we just like... I'm all of it. Stop. Let your mom... Preach her. Preach.

You know what I mean? Just let her have her ass cheeks out. Thank you. She'll be so much happier. She'll be so much happier. Thank you. Well, I don't like looking at that. Okay, Gavin. we're good.

Look another way. Just look the other way. Literally look the other way. Turn the channel off. She'll feel so much happier. Guess what? We are so happy Jade was with us today. Again, specials coming out at the end of this month.

On the 28th, right? On the 28th. Hotties coming out on the 16th. Is that right? Yeah, on Hulu. If I loved Next on MTV, how much? It's literally just like that. We have trust.

I love it. And they let me do whatever after the soup. What a relief. I could say whatever I wanted. Because you were phenomenal on that, too. And guys, go check out the nosebleeds. Jade's on that, too. You can check it out.

It's at UFC Fight Pass. But the first episode is up for free. Go to our Instagram, and you can click on the link there. Follow Dan and all that stuff. Go see Dan in Hawaii. Oh, shit, guys. We've got to get back to work. Bye.

Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. Stick around. Make a sound.

Come here down. It's Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. Stick around. Make a sound. Pump it down. It's Dumb People Town.