Dumb People Town - James Adomian - Whoever Smelt It Dealt It

Episode Date: September 3, 2024

Comedian James Adomian (Path Of Most Resistance) stops by as Randy describes how 4 men have been charged in the theft of a satirical golden toilet in England, Daniel explains why a Halifax's Acapulco Club is selling off pieces of its sticky carpet, and Jason warns against having sex with peoples' cars, and so much more! Thanks to our sponsor: BetterHelp! Rediscover your curiosity with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/DPT today to get 10% off your first month.

Dan and Rand and Jay will share Tales of hope so unaware They lack in grace and sometimes choose The life they choose will make the news Breaking down each epic fail In Florida there's half price bail I'm happy to say they couldn't make this up So listen to our podcast band With co-hosts Arm and Dan. Members, don't be a jerk, because when the music gets the funny hits, we are gonna take you down. Stick around, make a sound, hunker down, East Dump People Town.

Guys, this show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Correct. Kids are always learning and growing, but as adults sometimes we lose that curiosity, Jay. So what's something you'd like to learn? Gardening, a new language, maybe how to finally beat your best friend in bowling. Yeah, I want to know that. Therapy can help you reconnect with your sense of wonder because your back to school era can come at any age.

So rediscover your curiosity with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash dpt today to get 10% off your first month that's BetterHelp, h-e-l-p dot com slash dpt. Hey, Toudies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population U, population James Adomian. Population Adomian! Adomian! Yup. I love you. You got it. I mean. God, I love it live when you hear the accent. Here's the thing, anytime I see a Jesse Ventura. Natural Slam, Costa Mesa. Don't I send you a Jesse Ventura?

I know we're on a different impression, but anytime I see a clip of anything I feel like I'm going to send you. Oh yeah, Jesse Ventura doing like a commercial for like a local bowling alley. Well, he did what I just saw when he did for Chicago Liquors in Minneapolis. Holding a keg. Why should we be limited to only two lanes? It should be. Everything should be.

Cunhaven County needs a third bowling lane. Everything. There's left, right, and there's right down the middle. The crazy thing is in this, I don't wanna get political, I really don't at all, and that's not what this show is, but I do think in this current environment, RFK Jr. is just a fucking mess of all messes.

Well, you know, I mean, I mean, let's take a look, let's step out of it and look at it for a second, I mean, come on. The bear. You know, I wanna step in front of this scandal here for a second, I wanna just step come on. The bear. I want to step in front of the scandal here for a sec. I want to just step in front of it. You want to be in front of it?

I was late for a flight, JFK, so you're already stuck in traffic three hours. Who's not going to want a snack on a bear? On a bear? Bear, you want a snack on a bear? Look, I was motoring around with Roseanne Barr. I was literally driving around Manhattan with Roseanne Barr with a dead bear in the back of the Land Rover. And I'm just going to say this, the bear was funnier than Barr.

Well, you've got to, what I think is that it may have had an adverse reaction to the vaccine. That's why I was, I worked up a tolerance to a number of toxins. He's proving all of his theories. So I do think that Jesse Ventura, if like peak governor Ventura was like, I'm gonna run as an independent right now. Like I do think he would have.

And I'm gonna do verbal jujitsu against public radio figures like Garrison Keeler for the duration of my one term. You versus Garrison Keeler. I'll Wabash his head in. James, you have a special. Yes, I do. We'll talk about it.

I know. Daniel, save it. Path of Most Resistance. Save it, we'll get into it. I have a story, Dan. We gotta get into this story. And then we'll talk about Path of Most Resistance after this.

Shall I jump into this? Sent in by Adam Poulton. At Poltski 75. I pulled that one out. You got it. The guy's almost 50 years old. Yeah, I'm assuming he was born in 75. Or he just remembers the wreck of the Memphis Jail.

This is amazing. Thank Trail. This is amazing. Thank you. This is amazing for so many reasons, this story, because you're asking yourself, you're gonna ask yourself, how did this thing exist? It tells you everything you need to know about the way England thinks about the United States, and yet it is a crazy story.

You ready for this? Yes. Four men charged in theft of satirical golden toilet titled America at Churchill's birthplace. Can you do Winston Churchill now? We have reached across the ocean every night on our ancient partners. So I was just in London and there's a statue of Churchill

outside, kind of near Big Ben, outside of Westminster Abbey like in this area, and in the statue he seems uncomfortable. He's got an overcoat on that's kind of flowing out and he's like in his own statue. He doesn't look like he has to go to the bathroom. He's sweating, he doesn't feel good. You say it again, it's a museum? No.

They stole, four men charged in theft of satirical golden toilet titled America. If it is yellow, let it mellow. If it is brown, flush it down. Grrrr! Fire it down! I wish we would have gone to the war, you can go to his war rooms.

That's a, that's a. Oh really? That is a museum. That's what they call the bathroom. That's what they called the bathroom. It's time to move some. Time to drop the big one. All right, so four men were charged over the theft of,

do you wanna guess how many carats of gold this toilet was? What do you think? Was it plated? What? It's not solid gold. That would be. It is a gold toilet. We're not, right? It's not solid gold. That would be it is a gold toilet We're not it look it's gold if you bid it it would not give way

So it's gotta be 22 carat 22 carat. What do you think 500 carats Daniel? 1000 carat it's an 18 carat gold toilet you were closest quality the gold I was looking at this equality, but how many ounces right? Yeah, so that's what I was What's the street value from Blenheim place the sprawling English County mansion where British wartime leader Winston Churchill was born. He wasn't just a wartime leader He was the leader Let's not, let's not, ah. Our time to crown is here.

Our time to crown is here. So we're gonna get him. Pooping and crown. We will be born. That'll be born. Born from my asshole. The toilet was valued, do you wanna do this right now, and how much do you wanna save it for later?

How, how? We're talking 18 carats. 18, 18 carats of pure toilet. 18 carats. She's, don't worry. I don't care. 18 carats, baby. I don't care. It's baby. I don't care barely 18 Here's how I like it. Yeah, I'm talking about town like it's telling me about a bad guy Tom like this

Alive, but that's all you can say. Yeah, I'm gonna put a woman on a toy. Oh, yeah women should not be pooping on a toilet. Oh yeah, women should not be pooping. Certainly not on a golden toilet. As you see it on the side of the philosophy. If a woman poops in the first three months of your dating her, dump that bitch. Dump that dumper. All right, so.

Can you take me out Gary Busey style? Yeah, oh you got it, you got it son. Oh, oh, oh, oh, let me tell you five things. That's really what the show was. He had all these crazy drops and people would get off the phone and they'd be like, can you take me out whatever style? And then they would play like four drops in a row.

At the end they'd go, oh. No one's ever like, can you take me out Solaris style? Yeah. Can you take me out? Yeah, Zoe Saldana stuff. All right, so how much money do you think this I'm gonna go, I'll show you, I'll show you. 20,000 pounds. That's what it looks like. That's a gold-esque. Right, but I think it's a gold-esque. I think it's a gold-esque.

I think it's a gold-esque. I think it's a gold-esque. I think it's a gold-esque. I think it's a gold-esque. I think it's a gold-esque. I think it's a gold-esque. I think it's a gold-esque. I think it's a gold-esque.

I think it's a gold-esque. I think it's a gold-esque. I think it's a gold-esque. I think it's a gold-esque. I think it's a gold-esque. I think it's a gold-esque. I think it's a gold-esque. I think it's a gold-esque.

I think it's a gold-esque. I think it's a gold-esque. I think it's a gold-esque. I think it's a gold-esque. I think it's a gold-esque. I think it's what... 20,000 pounds. That's what it looks like. Right, but I think I think there's... Oh and the piping. Yeah, I'm gonna... 20,000 pounds. 20,000 pounds. Oh, you have it in pounds? Oh, you have it in dollars. 20,000 dollars. 25,000 dollars. Okay. Okay. I'll go $50,000. Yeah. Yeah, I think that there's an inflated price because of like I've made a gold toilet. You see I've made a gold toilet We've read it in America

I've made I've made a poop on the toilet if you want there if you want there for the golden toilet scene And where you really alive at all drop the days if you want what's your guess I'm gonna say I'm gonna say hi and I'm gonna say it's a it's a hundred thousand dollars okay get your answers in town is because you guys are gonna believe this this toilet is worth five point nine five million dollars solid goal it's not plated it is a solid solid gold. It's a piece of artwork. Piece of artwork. 5.5.

How rich of an artist do you have to be to have access to that much material? I think it's the rarity of the toilet and that it belonged to Churchill. Number two. And that it's gold. And number three, I think it was made for much less in whatever... Fine but it's what it's worth now in the 1930s. So all right so here we go. We shall shit on the toilets. We shall shit in the showers. We shall shit in the bathroom if we are in the Holiday Inn. Keep calm and wipe on. We shall always douche. We will never wipe.

And intended, we will always bidet. And intended as a pointed satire about the excessive wealth, about excessive wealth by the Italian conceptual artist Maurizio Catalan. It was part of an art installation in Blenheim Place near the city of Oxford a few days before it vanished overnight in September of 2019. The Crown Prosecution Service said Monday it had authorized criminal charges against these four men over the theft. They are accused of burglary conspiracy to transfer criminal property. Seven people had been arrested over the heist, but no charges have been brought until four years

after the toilet was stolen. The artwork has never been found. The golden toilet was- Yeah, they melted that down. So that's it. So the golden toilet- I've got a job, if you wanna melt down a gold toilet. This does feel like a Guy Ritchie movie.

I know, it does. Where they steal a golden toilet to melt it down. Lock, stock, and into smoking assholes and then Dennis Karina flies over and he's like I'm looking for my fucking shitter who's got the shitter it's just fantastic just send it over here going to golden toilet was fully functioning okay and prior to the theft visitors the exhibition could book a three-minute appointment to use it. Is this, am I wrong?

This is supposed to be like a negative American thing. That's what I'm saying, right? You call a tank, take a dump on America. The golden ball of America. Just crapping on America. The police said that because the toilet had been connected to the palace's plumbing system, its removal caused significant damage.

Oh yeah, the wet bandas. To the palace's plumbing system, its removal of significant damage flooding Oh yeah, you know that's gonna be bad. To the palace's plumbing system, its removal, significant damage, flooding to the 18th century building, a UNESCO World Heritage Site filled with valuable art and furniture. So you don't want toilet water going all over the furniture legs.

Right underneath it, there was another room full of more golden toilets. More golden toilets. Platinum fixtures. Filled with feces. There's a, there's a, there's a, a platinum tampon machine. The museum said the artwork invited viewers

to make use of the fixture individually and privately. That is crazy. Weird. That is wild. Right? If it's an art piece that you can actually, and you know people dropped one in there. Of course they did. That's why they reserved it.

It's on the three minutes. It's to experience unprecedented intimacy with the work of art. You couldn't do that into the mouth of the Mona Lisa. I wonder. In 2021. Somebody has to clean that toilet. Thames Valley Palace, the force of investigating the theft, suggested it would be a challenge to recover the toilet.

Will we ever see it again? No. Personally, I wonder a challenge to recover the toilet. Will we ever see it again? No. Personally, I wonder if the shape of the toilet is to wonder about the shape of the toilet to be perfect. It's in a bar shape. Right. Yeah, multiples. Please say Matthew Barber told the BBC,

if you have that large amount of gold, it seems likely that someone has already managed to dispose of it one way or another. Yes. You belt it down into coins and you just do it slowly over time in a bunch of different, I'm not saying I know. Yeah, Jay, what's going on here? Calling now, we've got a great deal on

gold bars. Gold bars. One ounce gold bars. Tom like is doing a gold bar commercial. You gotta need some gold. Or Alex. Uh, yeah, exactly. The four suspects will appear at the Oxford Magistrates Court.

Dang. And get back in, So we're gonna. Isn't that crazy? That's wild. That's craziness. Also, you got something that is so easily transferred into another form. Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. It's not like marked currency. It's not like a painting. You can't, the painting is the painting. You can't like melt down a painting and be like, now it's this. Right. So when you make something that is. Yeah.

This is it. When you make an art piece that is making fun of another country in the shape of something that you use and that we give the public access to it to sit on. Like, expect that someone's gonna mess with it. Try and steal it. People should not be able to sit on art. 5.9, was that what it was?

5.9, five million. So it's the value of the artist. It's the value of what the artist's art costs too. Right, it's the value of Lee Majors. All right, so they've been arrested. They were closing in on him and they were like, oh, we gotta dump the cocaine down the toilet. No, you gotta dump the toilet down the toilet.

Put the toilet down the toilet. Karen! It was all he had! Karen! Keep stirring the sauce. All right, so we're gonna get out of here on this. Okay. What's the age range of the four guys who are arrested?

The age range, it's a four- You need a plumber. A four-year age range. Cock sucker motherfucker, what the fuck? You need a plumber? Yeah. That's four guys. Four guys, 40 to 44.

I got a job, it's one last job. I need a plumber, I need a coin guy. And I need a number two. I need a melt guy. I need a septic expert. If you feel that shit coming around the corner and you can't turn away in 30 seconds flat, you gotta get out of the game.

You gotta go. Yeah, definitely Casey Affleck and Matt Damon play two of these. There's the guy on the headphones, they think they've gotten away with it, and he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You left the toilet seat up. Yeah.

It's a woman. Yes, yeah, you got it, you got it. Damn them. I'm gonna go 25 to 30. I think it's a young man's job. So four year window. Oh, I'm just the oldest? 26 to 30.

26 to 30, so what's the four year window for 26 to 30. So what's the four year window? 40 to 44. Okay. Oh, cause the ages. Yeah. Um, I think, I think, I think the youngest guy is 22 and the oldest guy is 60. There's a four year age, right?

Four year age, right? So 22 to 22 to 26. They're all okay. No, I think old guys. Okay. So I think this is, this is 46 to 50. Okay, 46 to 50, all right, get your answers in, Townies, this is story number one.

You sure? Town in the books, it was really fun. It's an American toilet. And it's the fact that it's gold. I mean, should we be proud that it's gold? At least it's not bronze. I mean, can we take that and say, F you, China? Here we go, yeah.

There you go. See, can we add this to our gold medal total? Totally. Totally. Okay. Here are the ages. The ages of the people who stole the toilet, smelted it down and did something to it. Whoever smelted it.

Smelted it! Yeah! Name of the episode. All right. They are 35 to 39. You guys are damn surrounded. There you go. That's story number one.

Who has two? Down in the books, I believe Daniel has story number two. When we come back, we're gonna find out and hear about James' new special and also tell you what we're doing. All sorts of stuff. It's Dumb People Town. Don't go anywhere.

Stick around, make a sound. There's more Dumb People Town. Hey gang, welcome back to the show. Before we get into James' special and how you can consume it, let people know about it, pass it around, watch it a number of times and all that stuff. We should tell you, we have a bunch of stuff coming up for me and Jay.

We have a massive show in Ann Arbor. Massive. On... Massive. Massive. On September 27th, it's the University of Minnesota versus Michigan football weekend. It is alumni family weekend. It's part of an alumni event,

but it is at the Michigan Theater. That is a 1,400 seat theater. We'd love to fill it. So that's Ann Arbor, one of our hometown hometowns. Yeah, so we'll be there on that night. One show, one night only. Then in October, we just- First time ever going to Vegas.

We've never done comedy in Vegas. How about it? We're doing it wise, guys, which is really not on the to Vegas. We've never done comedy in Vegas. How about it? We're doing it wise guys, which is really not on the strip. It's kind of in its own thing. So for local Vegas people, it's a great place there for people who want to come see comedy. We're going to be at wise guys in Vegas. I'm very excited for that. I love that club. I only know the Utah one, but Utah one is phenomenal. There's one in Ogden, there's one in South, and one in the downtown. Jordan Landing. And then we will be at the Comedy Fort, which Dan was just at, first weekend in November.

Great place. We are gonna be at the Flyover Comedy Festival in St. Louis. We are headlining at the Sheldon Theater. Nice, I am too. Big ass theater. You're gonna be at the Flyover? Yep, I'll be there on Saturday the 16th headlining. Hey, same with us. Nice. Oh my God, are we competing with each other? I hope not? Yep, I'll be there on Saturday the 16th headlining. Hey, same with us.

Nice. Oh my God, are we competing with each other? I hope not. Jesus, that would be bad. I doubt that. I doubt it, but like. Someone in St. Louis. Great Dan.

Hit them against each other. Hit them against each other. I hope not, but we can even mention to them that we should scatter the time so that we don't. I'll be there on Saturday the 16th, one night only. All right, we're on the Friday the 15th. We're doing a Tag It, late night Tag It. And on Saturday the 16th, we're doing it.

Our big headlining show at the Sheldon. And then in December, we're doing our two man show, The Born Identity, which I love so much. B-O-R-N, The Born Identity, at the Lyric Hyperion here in Los Angeles, a very small room, but we're going to do it three times, basically workshopping it because we want to take it to New York and potentially do it on Broadway. We've got people interested and we're in the midst of doing that. And so that is happening on December 9th, which

is a Monday, December 12th, which is a Thursday, and then the 16th. So we'll let you guys know all about that. Superscalars.com for all that stuff and our tour dates. James Adomian, you have a new special. The path of most resistance. That's right, that's right. I took Sun Tzu and I flipped him around. There you go. Yeah, you did.

Where'd you shoot it? I reached around a little bit. It was a tiny little reach around. Where did you record it? Tell us about it. In Los Angeles, it was recorded almost a year ago at the Elysian Theater here in LA. Amazing theater.

A good theater. A theater with a rug on the stage. God, boy. A theater with a hot. I only perform with the rug theaters. Gotta be a rug on the stage. Dan did his show there and it was fantastic. I love that theater.

I love it. That's so great. And so, characters stand up, a mix of everything? It's me doing stand up, but there are characters that creep in. I just don't bother to put any costumes on. Good, good. It's stand up, and I wanted to do it that way.

So it's an hour and five minutes, and it's out on 800 Pound Gorilla. I love it. On their website, 800poundgorillamedia.com. And on September 19th, it'll be available for video on demand, rent, to own, to download, to stream. It'll be available everywhere September 19th, except a TV network, everywhere except the TV network. You can see it. And I'm very happy about it.

God bless that. We'll make sure this drops near that time so people can go and make that happen. So again, path of most resistance. I'm telling you, it is, we, we have people on our friends who we love so much. What you do is so specific and different than most people. It is a joy to watch you do it. So for all those people who are like, I want to see comedy done in a new way, come check this out. And if you want to see a sweat stain that can't be stopped,

it grows like a creature. It starts. It's like Gorbachev's head. The first time, there was two tapings after the first one, it was like the West Wing. There was a tracking shot of my manager like, we've got a problem. That was like doors slamming, like it's a sweat stain. He's too wet.

He's too wet. So for this- Shows you're working. I am off. And there was this whole thing about like, can you change the shirt? It won't match. So I was like, I'll do it again, dry it out,

and I'll just let it get wet at the exact same time and I'll address it. And then it was like, the camera gets everyone's face. But you weren't. Okay. Okay. All right. But you weren't nervous.

You just were having fun. No, I was generating energy. You were just working hard. I have, what can I say? You're a hard worker. Gener know, we're having fun. They're just working hard. I have What can I say? You're hard generous pores. That's right generous for generous poor Speaking of generous for us Dan pour us another drink. Oh And then we'll get into your stuff. Oh, right. I didn't buy Carly McDermott at she be Carly Halifax Acapulco what that can't be no we're all the way up here in how we're in Mexico, Missouri

Halifax Acapulco Club Okay sells off sticky carpet So there's a little bit of Portland's Airport. Yeah, right sticky carpet sticky carpet sell the carpet Well, how is there not a band named sticky carpet? I guarantee there sticky buns somewhere right now in Olympia, Washington, somebody just kicked a table over. There is! But they won't give us a shot!

We got two places in Spokane we can't play. We're like the Melvins, if you know you know. If you know you know, Sticky Carpet. A nightclub renowned for its Sticky Carpet. You should not be renowned for a sticky carpet. Maybe infamous, but not renowned. Definitely not renowned. For its sticky carpet is selling off souvenir chunks

of its storied adhesive floor covering. Oh my God. Would you want carpet for my club? Some people would if this is your club. Do you know how much Coke is in that carpet? I mean, if you Luminoled it, you could probably solve 12 cold cases. Yeah, for sure.

Right? Halifax Acapocos, Halifax's Acapoco, that's the name of the club. This is in Halifax, Canada, right? All the way up. No, I think it's in UK. This is the original Halifax. Oh.

So they said it comes from BBC.com. Okay, never know. News UK, England leads. Have a pint. But doesn't England still own Canada? Am I right? Depends on how you look at it. Kind of.

They're on the money. Maybe in 1980, I think they finally became a- They liberated. They liberated. Queen's on the money. Queen's on the money. Guy Branham oddly knows everything about this. Does he?

I'm gonna ask him next time. I'm like, Guy, tell me about this. He also, he knows history about countries. Does he? I'm gonna ask him next time. Guy, tell me about this. He also knows history about countries he should not. He knows stuff about India. Oh my god. Curious guy. He's an Anglophile. Do you know?

Halifax is off the book. I bet him. Did you know? Has been a fixture in the Yorkshire town since. It's England. 1961. Okay. And punters have walked its distinctive swirly patterned

Tapestry tapestry how long do you think this has been on the ground? Let's do it again swirly pattern It's late 60s a pun tats light 60s. I'm gonna give you this is 70. This is the carpeting Apunta no, that's It's late 60s. Apunta. Apunta. No, that's, how many years? That could be 81. That could be 81.

So that's 43 years. 43 years. I'm gonna go 40 on the nose. 40 on the nose. We're, okay, yeah, it's pre, it's pre-Showbiz pizza. Thank you. But it's definitely in the shaky zone. Right, pre-animatronic, animatronic ape.

I gotta put it at 1979. Okay, okay 45 years Well, Acapulco has been there since 61, but they've walked this Distinctive carpet sticky carpet for 20 years. That's it. That's it. Wow That's a 2004 carpet. Retro owner, Simon Jackson, the combination of Simon Cowell and Randy Jackson, said the sale idea came from a man celebrating a birthday with his mom and grandmother who had been club regulars

in their youth. Wait, what? So I think throughout this family, they had been at certain, yes. The grandma, the mom. Mother Maggie. And then the son. Family they have all been to this yes the family Mother Maggie and then the sun you used to punt at the pope What's punter mean take a drink I think it's like it says punters have walked its distinctive drinkers I think drinkers okay, I genuinely don't know I think it means like fucker. Yeah, it's like this I genuinely don't know I think it means like fucker. Yeah, yeah, it's like this Look at this punta this idiot. It is punta but more polite

I don't know the proceeds will be donated to a local Street Angels group Mr.. Jackson Said the aka as the club is affectionately known Was a source of memories for generations? Yeah, was a source of memories do we find out here, the Acapulco. Yeah, Acapulco. Was a source of memories, did we find out? Let's hear it. A punter is a person who gambles, particularly by betting against a bookmaker. What? What?

It has several meanings, if you Google it. It's a gambler, a spectacular trader, a personal customer, a client. I'm a gambler, both. It's like a patron. I'm a gambler, I'm a patron. I'm a midnight punter. I'm a patron. I'm a midnight punter. I like my carpet sweatin' sticky.

That pinky blinders will not lay down for the punters. No. That is good. We will not lay down for the punters. They said, hey, the Akka. Lord, what have I been seeking to find? Is a source of memories for generations in Halifax. Dumbledore.

Quote, we got to thinkin' how many people have met there and had first kisses, birthdays,ifax. Dumbledore. Quote, we got to thinking how many people have met there and had first kisses, birthdays, whatever here. Vomited. Then we- Makeshift abortions! Then we got the idea. Vomited and we didn't clean it. Pissed!

We just let it go in. Just pissed on the floor probably. Would you like a boiled egg dropped into a pipe? It's a scotch egg. Just think how many people have walked on its famous crazy pattern. I don't know if it's that crazy of a pattern. Here's a picture of the Aca.

Let's get real. Here's a picture of the Aca. We could talk about this photo for 20 minutes. By the way, if it was like vaginas all over the floor, like that's a crazy pattern. You mean like the walls at Jones on Santa Monica? Oh, God. You ever been in there? Oh, I never thought of that.

They're vaginas? It's mainly boobs. But it's all these photos, like old school, you know, disposal cameras. Polaroids. From like 1994 to like 2004. Of people who showed up at the bar and showed their boobs. Yes.

Yes. The wall is just covered in all these regulars and parties and people and everybody from that weird Girls Gone Wild era of Americana. Where, and they- You know we had an old, you know our old bit about Girls Gone Wild that like, it was the key to Girls Gone Wild is that it was normal girls.

Not strippers and hookers. Not strippers and hookers. Normal girls gone wild. Right, right. Gone wild. Gone wild. Okay, here's the photo. She was a girl, what was it?

She was, oh, I can't remember. She was a judge from Corpus Christi. There's a lot we can talk about here. They've gone wild! To get this on camera, we'll put it up later. But here's a photo where they said, think of all the famous people who have been here. This photo, for some reason there's a guy in a Georgia Bulldogs practice jersey.

Go Dogs! With like either a white glove on. There's a yoked out Wayne Gretzky in a tuxedo. Right. This is in Halifax in the UK. Yes. There's like a tailored not so swift. Look at this girl cheeking out.

Is that like Samantha Fox singing right there? That is. Girl you know it's. If you weren't there for the Halifax scene. You don't know. The cobblestones. You know, you know, love. The punters with a pint of ecstasy.

There's so many different. The punters from Georgia. I was Sue Max Spice. Did you guys ever, your New York days or your early LA days, did you guys have a club? So we had bars. Have you ever had a club that you liked to go to? Bars.

Yes, yes. I like a quieter bar, yes. Quieter bar. I do too, but I've never had a like, this is my club, these guys know me. But I do love dancing. Okay, so there were never in New York. But the 90s was a time,

I know what you're saying. 90s had a time where literally, it wasn't clubs like we think of today, it was like, let's go out dancing. So there was a place on the west side. Sort of like a Euro. Okay, so there was a place on the west side in New York. I don't know if it was there, you lived in New York for a while. Briefly, yes. So it was a place on the west side. Okay, so there was a place on the west side in New York. I don't know if it was there, you lived in New York for.

Briefly, yes. So it was on. I don't know if it was there when you were there. Perry in Washington. Way over there called. Automatic Slims. Automatic Slims. Automatic Slims.

That was the name of the bar. And people would, they'd play music. Slim, he is automatic. And people would dance on the bar. And dance on the tables. Patrons would dance on the tables and the bars. I danced at a bar in Boys Town in Chicago, one's called Spin.

And these two men bought me Mai Tais the whole night. Did you take your shirt off? Yes, I did. OK, you did. So then there you go. Of course, you knew before you asked. Did you? I wanted the audience to know.

I wanted this on the record, Mr. Vane. Did you? You asked it like this. You're like, did you? Of of course you took your shirt off. That's the most I ever used, my Bachelor of Fine Arts in theater performance, was that spin in Boys Town. So Automatic Slims was a great hang,

like we went there many times with people, that was kind of like, you guys ready to go like on a Friday night, Automatic Slims, people were like done with work, and there was just this feeling again, and I'm not gonna say because people didn't have phones back then, there were cell phones but there were not smartphones.

People were just like, we're out. We're out and this is what we're doing right here. You guys tell me if I'm wrong, I feel like 20 to 30, 35 years ago, a club was a place to dance and have fun and now it's more of a place to flex and show how rich you are. Totally. I've actually talked to some DJs about this the past few years that said hip hop has changed

so much, nobody's really making dance songs. Everything is more like the whole Drake, from the 2010s was very low key, beats per minute were less, and so it was more about sitting in a VIP area than it was dancing and partying. Not that that doesn't happen, it still completely does. You know my youngest daughter who's 17 has gotten really into house music.

Wait, didn't you have a party for her? House music is dancey. It is dancey, so didn't you have a party? Yeah, we had a party at my house that I was not around for, but there was a party over here. And they played some house. Did you ever have a club? Yes, okay, so I have a club now, because I'm gay, so that's different.

Is it a gay or straight club? It's a gay club, but being gay, you're like, where can I go and not be eaten by someone? Where can I go and look at a man without people being angry? Right, sure. So I have a place I go in Silver Lake that everybody knows me and I know them. Oh, I love that spot.

When I was younger, when I was younger, I worked at a gay bar in West Hollywood. That was my spot even after I worked there. And it was a crazy dysfunctional place. Yes, sure. Fun though, like super fun? Yes, I learned how to be gay there. When I first started working there,

there was the, one of the two owners was banned from his own bar. Because he was an addict. Sure, of course. Of course, I met him and he comes up with a wet face and he's like, you're the new doorman. Yeah, I'm just gonna, you gotta let me into the office. He would steal money from someone. You're the new doorman, you gotta let me into the office. He would steal money from someone. You're like, you're the new doorman,

you gotta let me into the safe. I can't believe he said. Into the safe? One of my favorite things to do is, especially on a Saturday, you just found out Sunday too. You didn't see me. On a Saturday, you hit West Hollywood on that perfect stretch of all those bars.

You hit West Hollywood at about 4 o'clock, 4.30 on a Saturday. You sit on one of the patios, get yourself some cocktails, and just watch the parade of the night. The parade of the night is one of the most fun fucking things you can do. Oh, so we went to Dan Tanna's with a bunch of

just our friends. It was all straight guys. We went to Dan Tanna's and then afterwards we're like, let's go get a drink. And we literally walked down and I was like, this bar is fun. People are having fun here. It was like so, oh my God, it was enjoyable.

That's what the advice Jon Taffer should give. Yeah, make it gay. Gay bars are fun. Make the bar gay. People will hang out. Women want gays. In this area, you've got 2,000 gays within one mile. You're not, you can't even let somebody look at your balls. Let them look at your

cock. Let's reveal the new name. Testis. Clean the kitchen. No, I was driving through that. I remember driving through there in the late afternoon with my daughter and she's like, look at all these people. And I was like, yeah, she was like eight. And she's like, it's all boys, it's all boys. Having a great time. And she's like, look at all these people. And I'm like, look at how happy they are.

And she's like, look how much fun they're having. It's all boys. And I'm like, yep, that's correct. It's just a parade of people. You are correct. That is. It's a great parade time but it's like even a kid can see that people are having fun yes but if you go to Long Beach it's all girls yeah is that what it is yeah it's all girls and longers okay so this guy says they got the idea from that guy right oh the person in the picture was top TV talent

such as Mikalia Stratchen per pictured filming for the hit man and her, has graced the aka. The hit man and her. Mr. Jackson said, the parents of the birthday boy who inspired the scheme had actually met on the aka's dance floor. Of course they did. He said he had even received an email from someone

who spread a little of their grandmother's ashes on the carpet a few years ago. So there's dead people in the carpet? Yes! I see dead people. Grandma Maggie said so She wanted to be stuck to the carpet Smoosh her in lad

Drive her in drive her into the fabric Sprinkle by the bar. Press her into the shag. She like to dance over there you know it. I want her in the microfibers. Wipe your feet by the bathroom. The proposal to sell squares at the carpet. And somebody, oh, you stepping on me, mom. Me mom? Oh, I might. But if they're gonna sell this off, why is an Australian doing that? You are calling them and saying,

there's a specific area my family needs, right? Right. Because someone else is gonna buy your grandma. But like, that would be the greatest, because when you throw it out, Ashes, I don't know if you've ever done that, but you think they LeBron'd it at the club? No, I'm just kidding.

It goes. Dun, dun, dun. This sounds like a place where they take ash trays and at the end of the night, they knock them off. Just dump them. And the empty glasses, they're just like, all right, pour it down. I would just play T.I.'s,

bring them out, bring them out. Bring them out, bring them out. How much do you think they're charging for a sanitary framed square of the carpet? How big is the square? Like a yard? I just said, I have squares of the carpet. So maybe it's just. Meter by meter.

Right, right. One meter, square meter. Each of them, there's in pounds or dollars? Pounds. Pounds, they're selling them for a hundred pounds per meter. I'm trying to make money off this. I'm going to say 200 pounds because there's sentimental value. Per meter. Yeah. Per square meter frame square meter. That's big. That's three feet by three feet. That's a big piece

Maybe it's only a foot by a foot. Let me ask you something. Just a carpet match the drapes We're not selling the drapes stop asking about this and I got I want a meter of those drapes. What's your guess? Okay, so yeah for that much sentimental It's it's a 3,000 pounds three thousand pounds 50 pounds or you can get one non-framed Non-sanitary for five pounds Sanitary yes, that's reasonable start as a joke according to the owner, but it snowballed as people expressed genuine interest Yeah, you know all great ideas started a bar at 2 a.m. You know what we should do? Start

cutting that carpet up. They include an old guy drunk at his own bar all day, all night, going like, I ought to sell the carpet. Before social media, the club would advertise its events, including, or they would do it in the local newspaper, including the now defunct Miss Stockings and Suspenders Contest. What? And there is an ad for it right here

that you could see they would put in. Miss Stockings and Suspenders Contest. Oh boy. Mr. Jackson. Sorry, Mr. Jackson. Worked at the club in the 1980s, he's 55 years old. He became its owner in 1995 and still works as a DJ there. Oh, because that's who you want DJ.

55 year old DJ? Yeah, sure. He's 65. 55. And he started working what year? In the 80s. 85, yeah, wow. And became the owner in 95.

So let me, I only make moves on the fives. Yeah, exactly. I am, he's like, weather on the ones, moves on the fives. The original carpet. I am, he's like, weather on the ones moves on the fives. The original carpet. Who knew that like a bar would have that much upward mobility? He starts working there and then he becomes the owner and then he becomes the DJ,

so DJs are higher than the owner. Okay. The original carpet was made in Halifax and was due to be replaced several years ago, but a fire at the club followed by COVID restrictions pushed that work back. We are one of a few clubs that have survived lockdown and being one of the oldest Acapulco in the country.

A family owned, we feel more responsible to keep it going. I just think I want to interject if I can. I think that the COVID restrictions and the fire didn't happen in that order. No, I think there was COVID restrictions and then they were secretly open. Of course. A place like this was staying open. All time. You have to smoke one.

The rule is you've got to smoke one. You don't have to inhale, but you've got to hold it. And blow it into the carpet. Blow it into the mat. Blow everything into the carpet. We're all rolling around on dead people. You think we care about COVID restrictions? I'm stepping on someone's mom.

Work to replace the carpet has already started and is expected to take two weeks. The building is not the prettiest of places. But it holds so many memories. It's not a trendy place, just somewhere to party and forget your worries. I have never been to London. I am telling you now guys, this is on my bucket list. I wanna go to London and I wanna go to the Acapulco.

The Acapulco. It's like an Indian burial ground. We don't need a Pontus from London coming upulco. It's like an Indian burial ground. We don't need punters from London coming up to York. It's like an Indian burial ground. You know they hate Londoners. They hate them. Of course. Stay on your side of the M4.

Yeah, right. All right, there you go. Story number two down in the books. Jay, give us a little taste of what we're going to hear in story. Sexy Time with Cars. There you go. Sexy Time with Cars.

James Adomian. He's got a new special that's coming out And we'll be like most resistance the path of most resistance. You can see it on 800 pound gorillas Website yeah, he turned Pound gorilla media calm. There you go. And then it'll be available in many places on September September 19 There you go. That's how you do it. We'll come back and hear what Daniel's got going on That's how you do it. We'll come back and hear what Daniel's got going on This show is sponsored by better help guys Question for both of you Daniel. Hey, what is something you would like to learn? Is there something you're like god? I wish I knew how to do this for me. It's guitar. I've never learned and it's always been difficult

Do you know what I just saw yesterday about the guitar? You can play guitar. Bleh, extremely barely. But all you have to do to have the right to own a guitar is try playing it. That's it. If you don't try playing it, it has no business being in your home. Just the mere effort of wanting to do it,

like you're saying, and trying. But I think we forget as we get older, we lose touch with that part of ourselves. That sense of wonder. Here we go, let's get back into this beautiful thing. Randy and I know, Dan you know, therapy is a great way to connect with your inner self. To understand, a lot of times we get disconnected

with who we are on the inside. The way we grow and expand and try new things. So people sometimes treat therapy the way people sometimes treat the guitar. They're like, I can't, how do I break into this whole thing? Yes, it's too much or it's gonna be hard or it's only gonna be a labor versus an opportunity. Exactly, I'm gonna say this.

If you're thinking about starting therapy, give our friends at BetterHelp a try. They're entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire, get matched with a licensed therapist and we all appreciate this Switch therapists at any time for no additional because you find the person that's you so rediscover your curiosity with better help visit

Better help comm slash DPT today. Just like I did you get 10% off your first month go to better help that is help.com slash D P. Hey, welcome back to the show. Tom Ligus, bring us back into the show. Do you care? Do you care? I don't care. 1-800-5800-DUM is the toll free telephone number for the DUM DUM DUM people town. I don't care.

DUM people town. you've got Randy. And Dora. You've got Jason. And you've got Daniel Van Kirk! I love it. Daniel, what is going on? How can people see you? Son.

How can people see you, son? Well, dad. Go to DanielVanKirk.com, the first Saturday of every month. I wanna have you guys on it. I wanna have you on it. Let's do do it all three of us first Saturday your website at bespoke yes come on my website all the spoken brought down bespoke no bespoke in on Fairfax in Hollywood first Saturday of every month is my stand-up show over share it's awesome it's great I hope people come out to it but I'll

also be on the 26th of September. I will be in Lafayette at the Lafayette Comedy Club. And then on the 27th and 28th, I'll be in New Orleans at Sports Drink. And then I... Oh, I heard that place is fun. Yeah, I'm about to announce a show that I'm gonna be doing, I believe,

the very beginning of November, that first Saturday. All the details aren't there yet, but it is happening. And that is going to be a stand-up show in Cedar Rapids. Hey now. I'm sure I'm forgetting something, but other than that, Fly Over Comedy Festival on Saturday, November 16th. St. Louis.

I mean, come on guys, you can go to this festival and see me, you can see the Sklars. It's awesome. We're gonna make sure these times don't conflict. Or let's battle it. Battle it out. Have you ever done anything called a night under the sclars? No

There's a whole pun there a whole pun family there are gazing That's great All right, here we go story number three sent by Matthew Friedman at not your average Matt Here you go. This is a headline. He met, Matt. Fingered it for three hours. No, absolutely not. Korean man spotted having sex with a pink Tesla. I have video, bros. With a pink Tesla?

In a disturbing incident that has left many people shocked, a man was caught engaging in inappropriate behavior with somebody's pink Tesla car. Not his. Obviously, I don't think it's obviously going to be like that necessarily disturbing. Attractive automobile. Wow, Elon Musk is telling us,

Elon Musk, you think it's okay, yeah. Is it weird? You're in favor of this. It's designed in a certain way that's meant to be not only environmentally sustainable, but also. So you can have sex with the car, that's the way it's designed? Well, it's not designed for that,

but it is self-driving, so obviously, there's some other drive frame capabilities. I'm trying. Seem out of breath. Why is he so tired? The incident took place on May 18th at the Hyundai department store in Ilsan. According to the victim's husband, victim.

Victim! Now, is it the Tesla? What? Or the victim's husband. There's a is it the Tesla? What are the victims husband there's a woman who married a guy who married his Tesla? They know this one these are all just autonomous machines. Sometimes they're allowed to find a life partner I'll tell you what this guy. I tell you this guy wasn't self-driving. Okay. Here's the video Looking around this is a guy he's getting very close. What oh My god, it's a little GIF. Yeah, a guy, he's getting very close to. Wait, what? Oh my god.

Oh, it's a little Jif? Yeah, he's pressing against it. No, I don't like this. I don't like it. What I don't like about it is that people should give someone their privacy if they're enjoying a nice intimate moment without the public.

That doesn't look like, first of all, that's an Audi, and it's not a Tesla, so I'm not sure if that's the same. Oh my god, wow, dude. I don't know if that's the same incident. What in the JD Vance is going on on that hood? That might be a different incident. Oh my God, wow dude. I don't know that's the same incident. That might be a different. What in the JD Vance is going on on that hood? That might be a different incident. No, this is.

It's on an Audi, that's not a Tesla. He's so happy, he's so happy. Look at his footwear too. Well, there's a certain gradient to. I don't want to yuck his young, but. I do. The hood of the automobile machine. Warm.

Well, there's a gradient to it. Sure, oh you think? So it's designed to give a certain amount of gradient to it. Sure. Oh, you're saying? It's designed to give a certain amount of friction. Now he's back at it again? He's back at it again? Now, is this the Tesla one down below? The Tesla one's down below.

All right. That was some other stuff. This is just to get you prepared for what people do. Look at this guy. Oh my God, right in the grill. That's a Porsche. Not the Tesla, right in the grill. Right in the grill. Having sex with a Porsche. No, that's a Porsche. That's a Porsche. Somewhere in this grill. Not to Porsche. Not to Tesla, right in the grill. Right in the grill.

Having sex with a Porsche. No, that's a Porsche. That's a Porsche. Somewhere in this article, there's gotta be a baby. I mean, Dan, there is no substitute. There is a Queen song. I'm in love with my car. Yes.

Hang out. I got a feel for my automobile. That's an Audi. This guy is having out. And he clearly has an innie. Hello. Hello. According to the victim's husband. Also, the slide's in public. That's an Audi. This guy is having it out. And he clearly has an innie. Hello. Hello. According to the victim's husband.

Also, the slide's in public. Slide's in public. His wife. With pants. His wife witnessed the man kissing and touching her car for how many hours before fleeing. Dan, I'm gonna double down on this. Sweatshirt, pants, and slides?

What are you getting, your, you're getting a pedicure? Yeah, right? What's going on here? No, sir. All right. Here we go. How many hours before fleeing when she approached to get in the vehicle? She witnessed him do this for how many oh my gosh come on know what you like three hours three hours two hours Oh, she watched she what she's like. Why do I love this? She she watched for three hours I'm gonna say that already so I watched for three hours. Did somebody say that already? I said three. Three and you said two?

Yeah. Okay, so I'm gonna say two and a half hours. There you go. Get your answers in. One of you is exactly right. Oh my God. You guys wanna decide who's right? Daniel.

I'm gonna go with me. Two. Who do you think's right? I'm right. Ram, who do you think? I said three hours. I said Dan. I said Dan.

I said Dan. The answer is three hours. Oh! You should have said me! Dan, you were very...? I said three hours. I said, Dan, I'll stay with you. And I said, Dan, the answer is three hours. Oh, you should have said me! Dan, you were very- She watched for three hours. This guy kissed my wife's car, quote, fingered it for three hours. You hit on my wife's car!

And ran off. What does that say about my wife? Only when my wife approached again in the car. Following the bizarre incident, the couple attempted to report it to the police, but they found that, unfortunately, there was no specific charge that could apply to this weird situation.

Nine months later they had a scooter. Oh God. He's got the guy show. A go-kart handy. Unfortunately this happens every day ma'am. Also nothing we can do as cops. Since it's a Tesla, it's all on tape. You're going to have to go to the Catholic Church on this one.

We review thousands of these cases I mean you know we review thousands of cases to spend very many hours reviewing the footage And why are you doing it for that one if my advertisers that have a problem with the attractiveness? What I would say to go fuck yourself That's not a good business I would say go fuck yourselves and then also there's gonna be a massive lawsuit when you go fuck yourself That's not a good business. I would say go fuck yourselves and then also there's going to be a massive lawsuit when you go fuck yourself Really? I would say go find a car to go what you're gonna sue me for doing what you said Well, I mean obviously obviously this is the woke mind virus in play stop

Hopeless the husband decided to share the story on a neighbor cafe site on May 18th So what site is considered Korea's largest Tesla community. He even asked if the couple should consider taking off the pink wrapping around the Tesla in case it helps prevent... That's the problem! Did you see what it was wearing? Yeah, that's pretty shitty. sex with a car, from ever doing something similar to their car in the future. He ended the disturbing story with, maybe it'd be best to remove the pink wrapping. I wonder if it was triggering to mechanical feelings, like sexually lingerie or something. Don't victim blame the car. Right, don't, did you see what he was wearing? So this is it, so the video you saw,

the disturbing incident follows a similar one that occurred just weeks earlier in late March. In that case, a different man was observed engaging in sexual activity with a white Audi car. Recorded footage exposed the man on top of the car's hood rubbing himself against it before doing the same to the car's front. No, that's simply perverse. Here's the question.

It's a fucking Audi. Both situations- I said I put the car in perverse. Oh, perfect. Perverse. All right. Both situations have sparked heated response online with netizens bewildered that these disgusting incidents could be turning into a disturbing trend. Can we call that hooding? He hooded it.

Turn on the emergency brake. I'm about to hood this. Also just buy a car and do whatever you want. Right, exactly. Or rent a car. Or maybe that- Who's gonna have a problem with that? Maybe that's the attraction to do it to someone else's car take that back. That's been everybody's car

You take it back to budget and be like guess what I did on this hood Did you bring it back with a full tanking? I unloaded we noticed the miles didn't change. Oh, there's miles on Why entered and there was a prize? Topped her off for you That's a story Pat the most you. Hello. Hello. There you go, that's the story. There you go, that's the story. Pat the Most Resistance is James Adome in standard special 800 pound Gorilla Media dot com.

You can check it out and then on September 19th, everywhere. Everywhere, video on demand. Do it. Come see us in Ann Arbor on 27th. Better. Daniel Van Kirk. Every first Saturday of the month at Bespoke and then in New Orleans and then all of us in St. Louis we love you guys and oh snap we gotta get back to

work you got it