Dumb People Town - Jamie Lee - Black Sparrow

Episode Date: February 13, 2018

This week, comedian Jamie Lee (HBO's Crashing) joins the Sklars and Daniel Van Kirk in Dumb People Town! In Story #1, a man in Russia drives a stolen tank into a supermarket and steals a bottle of wine. In Story #2, fed up with searching for the perfec...

It's a good show! Couldn't make this up. Dumb, dumb. So listen to our podcast jam. With co-host Armand Dan. Dumb, dumb. Man, jerk. Don't be a jerk. Cause when the music gets the funny hits, we are gonna take you down. Stick around. Make a sound. Hold your downies.

Dumb People Town. Hey, townies. Welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population you. Top population Lee. Yeah. Jamie Lee. Jamie Lee. Hi. Population you. Population Lee. Yeah. Jamie Lee. Jamie Lee.

Hi. Hi, Jamie. Hi. Hi. Every 14-year-old girl. I'm waiting for my oldest daughter who's 12, almost 13, to just have a bunch of people

who I'll meet them and be like, hey. Hey, bye. Bye. Oh, bye. I can't hear anything that's happening. There's like a point at which your dog is lifting his head up going what? Yeah, so that definitely

causes a canine tilt. Well, we are so happy to have you here. You've been a friend of ours for so long. You're amazing in the poop documentary that we did. Thank you! So honest, so funny. It was sort of like what I loved about it was great that like, you know, all of our friends that we gathered. Thank you. So honest, so funny. It was sort of like, what I loved about it was great that all of our

friends that we gathered in this thing, we had to remind ourselves that, oh, they'll just be funny. Let's just try and get them to say something serious because the funny stuff will then come. And it did, every time. It totally did. You were so real. I loved it. I'm so excited to see it because I don't

remember exactly what I said, so when I watch it, I'll be like, oh, that's what I did. You were so real. I loved it. I'm so excited to see it because I don't remember exactly what I said. So when I watch it, I'll be like, oh, that's what I did. You're just honest and good. And we'll talk about that. We'll talk about crashing and all the wonderful things that you're a part of. And your album. And your album. All the great stuff. We'll get to that later in the show. But we got dumb stories that are sent to us

because the world is getting dumber or we believe that dumb is fighting smart and dumb is winning. Or maybe dumb's getting louder. Yeah, dumb is dumb. I think dumb's always been pretty loud. But someone gave it a megaphone. You know how they say love wins?

I think dumb wins. Dumb wins. Dumb wins. Dumb is winning right now. The only way we can fight back is to use comedy and try to break down and understand dumb behavior. So our awesome, awesome fans who come out and see us live and whatnot,

they will see us at the Bell House in Brooklyn. I'm sure you've performed there. Oh, that's a great venue. What a great venue on the 25th when we have the girls from Guys We Fucked on that podcast. Gonna be just a combination of the two.

That's literally explosive. So great. So that's happening. You guys come out and then you also send us. What was great in this last one that we did, the Scott Thompson one,

they really, it was like a town hall meeting. Oh, so much so. We set a microphone up and they came down and instead of listing their grievances with the board, they just told dumb stories

and we tried to chime in on it, which was fantastic. Fantastic. Dan, it was a blast to do as- I think we went through like four or five people who brought a story. Great headlines and they worked it out. Air the town grievances of things they've come across.

Well, we just love- I love how they participate. This is, Jamie, for a project that we've done, it's so fun to get the input of the people who listen to this show. They respond to the Facebook page we have set up. They send stories in. We all hung out and took a big group photo afterwards. That was fun. So Dan got some stories

sent in to him and we're going to jump into one right away. Ready? Yes. Sent in by Chris Madden at cmaddenphoto M-A-D-D-E-N I've been playing the Madden 2018. Chris Madden 2018 is a lot better than Chris Madden 2017. All of this is going over Jamie Lee.

No, actually, I'm sitting here silently proud of myself that I know that video game and thought of it when you said that. I never doubted you, Jamie. Do you know about the Madden curse? This is a huge day for me. Do you know about the Madden curse? We'll teach you something else. So if you're the player that is on the cover of John Madden football. It comes out before the year starts. So if your image is on the cover of the thing.

You usually are going to get injured or have a terrible year. So no one Madden curse. It's kind of like a wonderful when they're like, oh, this guy is the Colin Kaepernick is the face of. And then he's in heels and then he's out of the league. I would just like to say I'm proud that I went my head went to the video game and not Steve Madden. The shoes. Yeah, it could have easily been Steve Madden shoes. I'm proud that my head went to the video game and not Steve Madden. The shoes. Of Steve Madden's shoes. Yeah, it could have easily been Steve Madden's shoes.

I'm defying all the stereotypes today. Which also has a new line every single year. If you're a model who's on the Steve Madden website, you will injure yourself by eating too much. Those clogs are not stable. No, they're not. You're on cobblestone. It's so low. What are you doing?

No, they're not. You're on cobblestone. It's so low. What are you doing? A man in Russia has reportedly rammed a stolen tank into a supermarket before climbing through the rubble to steal a bottle of wine. Isn't that how they shop in Russia? Am I wrong? That is overkill.

Do you feel like, Jamie, that things happen in Russia that just don't happen anywhere else? Yeah. They're like, I get a bottle of wine. In a tank. You crash a car and you get drunk. I drive through. He drives through. I want it fast, so I drive through.

You drive through. Dan, every word you said in that sentence, I kept wanting you to say, into his asshole. So they were like, rammed a tank. A tank like a military tank? Ready for the picture? The best part is the woman in the pink coat. Pink coat?

Look at this. Oh my God. That's a full on tank. Everybody, if you're listening wherever you are, if you're new to us, join the Facebook page

over on Facebook. That's fitting, I guess. Facebook.com slash dumb people town. Slash dumb people town. You can see this photo. A tank going into a store.

Yes. So this, he really was trying to drive through. And this, a woman would never do this. We know that, right? This is tank going into a store. Yes. So he really was trying to drive through. And a woman would never do this. We know that, right? This is a dude who did this. Yes.

Would a woman ever drive a tank through a thing? I don't think that's too... I want to say absolutely not, but I don't know. I'm not a great driver. So I'm just going to put that out there. So, okay, excuse me. Let me rephrase that. Intentionally drive... No, okay. Excuse me. Let me rephrase that. Intentionally drive.

No, not intentionally. No. But to me, if you are driving a tank into a convenience store to steal a bottle of wine, someone said to you earlier that night, I bet you won't. Yeah. I bet you won't do it. Yeah, that's a dare. It was a dare.

That's the end of, oh, yeah? Take the tank then. That's the end of it. I will take the goddamn tank. So? Take it to go get wine. Do it. Why are you standing here? I think it's just cool to end of it. I will take the goddamn tank. So? Take it to go get wine. Do it. Why are you standing here?

I think it's just cool to have a tank and just take it for a spin. Right? You know, just drive it casually. I'm so Russia part. Like, in this idea that just, like, snow and the harshness of Russia, people just have tanks. Honey, where are my tank keys? Do you know where to leave them? I don't know.

Where did you have them last? I love that because if you knew where you had them last. You wouldn't be asking. Honey, where did I put them? Where did I put them? I don't know. Where did you have them last? I love that because if you knew where you had them last. You wouldn't be asking. Honey, where did I put them? Where did I put the tank keys? Where did you put them? I mean, I think they're by the door. They're not by the door.

I went to the door. Hank, you got to find the keys to the tank, Hank. Where's my furry hat? Hank, let's go. I can't. I don't know where the keys are. Check the snack drawer. Let's go.

You're not going to be able to keep your nickname, Hank the Tank, if you keep losing the keys to the tank. Where's my furry hat? This wine ain't going to steal itself. Let's go! You're not going to be able to keep your nickname Hank the Tank if you keep losing the keys to the tank. Where's my furry hat? This wine ain't going to steal itself. Let's go! I took your babushka to the dry cleaner. Why would you do that? I put a lot of stuff in there. I'll be in the yard just swinging a golf club. I'll be out front swinging a golf club. Dennis, let's just take my tank.

Alright, we'll take your tank. Guys, I said I would drive my tank. Clearly you don't have the keys, let's go The armored vehicle was taken from a motorsport Training ground nearby Which I guess they just leave the Keys even work How do you turn a tank on?

I feel like it's a button I feel like it's a soft startup Like a Prius You gotta have the fob on you What was the story of the guy who's like I need my knife. That's how I, from a couple weeks ago, that's how I start my ATV, my four-wheeler. Who was that guy?

With a knife to start it. Maybe you could start it with a screwdriver. That was the dude that stole the Slim Jims. Yes. The small Slim Jims and the Slim Jim display. If you can start a thing with a screwdriver or a knife, That's what it is. That's bad design, in my opinion. I love that the four of us, combined, of, I would say, at the very least,

average intelligence, have no idea how to start a tank. Not to say drive. We don't even know how you start one. I wouldn't know how to get into it. Do you think it's a key? I would feel so powerful. I just want to sit in a tank. Go get wine.

It is kind of like a I would feel so powerful. I just want to sit in a tank. Go get wine. Go get wine. That's what I'd do. It is kind of like a sassy drunk soccer mom move. Yeah. You know how they drive the huge SUVs? Totally. She's like, I'm taking the tank. I don't want to get in the line. Okay.

The kids are away. No, no, no. The moms will play. They don't need the tank. Yep. She's taking it. But here's my thing. It is kind of this badass bravado move to run a tank into a thing and then to get wine.

Yeah. Like, at that point, wouldn't you be like, just give me beer? Grain alcohol. Hank, where are you going in that tank, man? I'm going to get some wine. I'm going to fuck some people up and then get some box wine. Is it just a bottle of wine? That's all he wanted?

Yes, that's all he bought. That's such a dainty little transaction for such a huge maneuver. If you're in the store, you're like, oh shit, they're coming for us. Yeah. Can I just get one bottle? Just one Zinfandel. Do you guys have a good cab? Do you have a ganache?

Look, I know rosé is all the rage. Maybe like a Montepulciano? Yeah. Just a Malbec then? All right. I mean, I guess that'll work. You know, my great story about wine is when I was in Chile, at the beginning of a 22-day trip, I went to a winery. And there were—I loved it.

I was like, we got to get this wine. But then you got to carry it for like 20—let's get five bottles. We're going to give them to all of our friends. We're going to tell them about this very special wine place so I carried them for 22 days came home

gave one to you Rand did I not I loved it gave one to my neighbor who is a psycho I felt very special until until

and I gave it to you and I was like this is a very special wine you explained to me the winery from the wine region you painted a picture of the place

I did a whole thing about it now I was drunk when I was buying it but anyway so I handed it to him. Three days after I came back, I was in Trader Joe's. Looked over. $6.99.

$6.99. I mean, $6.99 at Trader Joe's. Jay, I think this is a theme. You thought the best pizza you ever had, you later found out was Domino's. Artisanal pizza. Jay has no taste. Did that really happen? Twice.

Whoa. But the first time I was- He was at a party. He walked up to the person who threw the I was I was duped by the dish. She had it on a very artisanal stone dish. Jason walked up to the host and goes, you have to tell me

where did you make this pizza? Where did you get where is the gem in Brentwood that you artisanal pizza place did you make? What clay oven did this? What artist? What old 97-year-old grandma brought this recipe over,

started a place with her entrepreneurial grandkids off San Vicente, and you bought this pizza? What Tuscan gem created this? And what did she look at you? Said, Domino's. I had to reconfigure my attitude towards the pro-life movement. Like when is a child a child? I was like, maybe when they first start dating.

I don't know anymore. This pizza is so fucking good. The armored vehicle was taken from the motorsport training ground nearby, local media reported, before the man drove it through a forest and into Apatity? Apatity? A-P-A-T-I-T-Y? I don't know, but that tells you where Rush is. Like when a forest is near the wine shop, you know that it's not...

Well, he drove through the forest into town just south of the Arctic Circle, which maybe is the whole tank. I mean, if you're up the Arctic Circle, you do whatever you got to do to get wine. I feel like a tank is just what you do. Yeah. That's your distraction. It's either that tank is just what you do. Yeah. That's your destructive car. It's either that or you come in on dogs. Like, 12 dogs in front of you, you come sliding into the store.

A tank is like your everyday car at the Arctic Circle. Like, you know how Jay Leno's garage is like all these Porsches or whatever? A Russian garage is like the dog sled. The tank. Right? The snow. The regular sled. One of my favorite parts of this story, struggling to turn around in a narrow street.

Remember that Austin Powers scene? Oh, yeah, yeah. He couldn't turn around. The man, whom witnesses said seemed drunk, proceeded to slam the tank into a convenience store window, according to news agency Hibbenform. He also crushed a Daewoo car parked nearby. Is that an act of aggression towards the Koreans? Yeah. Any time I see a Daewoo car parked nearby. Is that an act of aggression towards the Koreans? Yeah. Any time I see a Daewoo, have you ever seen a Daewoo in the wild?

I know the name, but I don't know what it looks like. You see like one every six years. Isn't that a pet name you have for your daughter? No, I call her Daewoo. But Daewoo is like, you look at a Daewoo and you're like. Daewoo is also day drunk. Daewoo? This dude is Daewoo and you're like... Daewoo is also day drunk. Daewoo? This dude is Daewoo.

A Daewoo kind of looks like every nondescript sedan. Okay. Exactly. Like, hey, when did Hyundai come out with a new... Nope, that's not what it is. Is that a Honda? No. It's a Camry. Is Chrysler making a New Yorker again? No, that's a Daewoo.

Also, I love the idea of him crushing at Daewoo, just being like, sorry! Because he runs that thing over. Footage shared on social media showed the man subsequently got out of the vehicle tank, threw its hatch, so he comes out the top. Pop the top, hop on up. Briefly inspected the damage and then went into the shop through the broken window. So he kind of gets out like, whoa. He made his own entrance.

Yeah. Well, look, I didn't do this for nothing. He was later arrested in possession of a stolen bottle of wine. The shop was not licensed to sell alcohol that early in the morning. They were robbed. I don't think they sold anything. You know, like in Wisconsin, you can't sell after midnight. On Sundays.

No, every night. Oh, really? Yeah, the quick trip by the cabin, you can't sell after midnight. On Sundays. No, every night. Oh, really? Yeah, the quick trip by the cabin, you can't sell any night after midnight. So what Dan is telling you is that he tried. Oh, 100%. They've tried a lot. You don't think we've been up in the cabin? We're like, guys, we've got to go right now.

Grandma, get up. It's 12.01. Come on. Grandma, get up. You're the only person who hasn't drank since 6 p.m. Get up. It's 11 in Las Vegas. Yep.

Come on. Yep. Let us get it. Witnesses visible in Las Vegas. Yep. Come on. Yep. Let us get it. Witnesses visible in the footage did not, this is also what I love, this is dumb people town, witnesses visible in the footage did not seem particularly disturbed by the incident. No. People in the sidewalk just were like, yep, that's Russia. Well, you know, in Russia they have, so remember there were those videos that came out a few

years ago of, was it a meteor? A meteor, yeah. Crashing to the earth. And the reason why that was captured by so many Russian drivers was because Russians have video cameras on their dashboards because they get into accidents and then people drive away. And there are so many hit and runs that they need to have them on their dashboard. People back into them and then sue them. Right, or stuff like that. So they want to have record of it.

Everyone could see that. Why don't we do that? I don't know. Although I think with so many more Ubers, there's a lot of cameras in cars and facing out of cars. Do Ubers have cameras? I've seen quite a few lately, yeah. Where did they put it, on the dash?

To me, that feels like a very New York thing. Now, you spent time in New York. Yes. So, like, I was always amazed at how the craziest stuff could have been going on and just everyone's just reading the paper. Yes. Or on their phones probably now. Just, like, in the subway, like, huge. We took the subway.

We were in New York for one day, for 18 hours. We hopped on the subway to go downtown and immediately saw two people who didn't know each other get into a verbal altercation. Really? It's something you just don't see on a regular basis. People need to go to your Instagram because that was a great picture. Thank you. It's weird because I started stand-up in New York and that was all you wanted to talk about was the shit that you saw in the subway.

And people responded like it was hacky. Yeah. New Yorkers are like, yeah, don't acknowledge the thing we all know. We all get it. We all see it. They're like, where else do I draw material from? This is insane. This is how I feel so many times.

Why are we talking about this? When something crazy, like when we're out doing dates and I'm on the road and something crazy happens on a plane and I'm like, God, why couldn't this have happened anywhere else? Because it's like, how many airplane stories can I tell on stage? You should tell them. I like when people talk about shit that happens on planes. I think it's cathartic. I don't care where the story, if it's a funny story, then who gives a shit?

But most New Yorkers are just like, I don't know. And everyone in this train, I was like, to me, I was fascinated by it. Because I'm like, you don't know her. And she just yelled at you to get up and get away where you're at. And then, like, everyone kind of moved away from her. But she was dressed nicely. She was dressed like she was coming from work. She appeared put together.

She appeared like she was coming from a respectable job. I think that's the thing, though, in New York is that like you're constantly fighting back your anger. So then it just bubbles up at the most inopportune, weird times. You'll be like in a wedding dress, just like about to have the best day of your life. And you're like, get off. Yeah. I love the, well,

the idea also in New York, the departments are so small that you don't have a, like the world becomes your house. Oh yeah. So you behave out in the world the way you would in your house anywhere else. So like the subway is like your living room. So like if you're like, I'll just take a shit here.

You know, cause you shit in your living room. You gotta shit in your living room. Oh your basement. You're like, I'll just take a shit here. You know, because you shit in your living room. That's right. You gotta shit in your living room. I do. Oh, okay, cool. In my basement, there's rats running around. It's the same damn thing.

Basically, this is a quote from a social media user who filmed this from his snow-covered scene outside his window. I'm so glad they didn't say an influencer. No. Exactly. Basically, some guy stole an armored vehicle and went into a shop to top up his stocks in the morning. They don't give a shit in Russia. They don't.

Yeah, some guy went and stole a bottle. Like another tank accident. Yeah. The man did not resist arrest. I'm going to ask you guys right now. How old is the guy that stole a tank just to get a bottle of wine? Too much fun leaves marks in life. Living hard, you'll

pay the price. Who is gonna get it right? Guess the age. Guess the age. So if this was written up in the New York Post, it would be tanks but no thanks or something. Oh, yeah. That actually was good.

Quit whining. Alright, you get to go first, Tig, she's second. Tig or third. Or third, in this order between. Yeah, you get to guess how old this guy is.

Jamie, do you want to go first, Tig, or third? Yeah, I'll take it. Well, my instincts are young. Okay. Why do you think young? I feel like that's too easy. Well, just because young,

reckless, I don't know. Like, yeah, the tank makes you feel like you have a big dick. It just feels like a young guy move. But I think that's too obvious so I'm going to go old. Take a guess. Give me an age.

Because it's wine, which is kind of sophisticated and sweet. If it had been ever clear, you would have been like 17. Absolutely. So I'm going to say 62. Not that 62 is old, but old enough to not be doing stupid shit.

That's a very fair guess. Great description for why, Jay. I'm going to say 43. 43 from Jason Sklar. Old enough to know what he wants in a wine to go right in and get it. He didn't have to ask about it. He knew what he wants in a wine, to go right in and get it. Like, he didn't have to ask about it.

He knew what he was coming for. This is true. Like, to me, if it was a bunch of wine, a bunch of other things, I think he was going for a specific thing. There's nothing like watching a 21-year-old pick out liquor in a liquor store. He had a craving. He had a specific craving. A sophisticated craving. And you know what those cravings are when you're over 43, maybe.

Right. Your palate's seen some shit at that point. You say 43. All right. So, I really like Jamie's description. Because I personally have a theory about Russia and that is like, remember in the early 80s

in the United States, a lot of old people were on TV. Just like tons of old people. These guys are both way too young to remember that. Fine, but like you wouldn't remember old shows like Madlock or Maude or Murder, she wrote. I watched all that stuff. All the family.

Murder, she wrote. She wrote. The stars of the show were people over the age of 60. Yeah, Golden Girls. Columbo, Rockford Files. Yeah, there was like a point. Kojak. Everybody was like the old.

Kojak Horseman. That's good. Let the old people do their thing. And so I feel like Russia hasn't, like we as a country has evolved to the point or have evolved or devolved to the point where it's like now you would never see an old person unless they were the joke. Okay. You would never see an old person at the center of anything. Right. So I think Russia, though, kind of is like that. So I'm going to lean towards older in this way.

I'm going to say 58 years old. 58 years old. I'm inching towards Jamie, but there's no question that he's older. Now, I'm going to be honest with you guys. It said late blank for like the decade that this person was born in. So I've chosen an age, but it doesn't make a difference. But we're going to go with the age I chose. So we are all off.

Way. The man in his late 20s 28 would be the official dumb people town score either way. Jason Sklar with a near 43. 12 off. I'll take it. 14 off. Late 20s.

We all guessed so much older. I still like my old people on TV. This is what I think about him being wine. He drove into the store. Was trying to go to the store. Walk walked in and just grabbed whatever. Like he was drunk and was like, this is in a bottle. Like did not care. Late 20s is pretty unacceptable though. Yeah.

Like that, like, yeah. His Saturn's returning like in this moment. Like if he was in his 70s, you'd be like, you do what you want to do with the rest of your life. Late 20s, that feels like exactly when you start to figure your shit out. Should be. Kind of like your peak, honestly. That's not a good peak.

That's the Arctic Circle. No, that is not a good peak. That is a valley. Yeah. This is near the Bering Strait. Sure. It's essentially where we're at. Am I right?

Of life? Of life? Just in wherever. If he were to drive the tank to the edge of the water, he could see Alaska. Sure. Maybe on a clear night. If he Alaska. Maybe. On a clear night. If he stands on it. On a clear night.

30 miles? Just drive the tank to the edge of the water, get the stolen bottle of wine, and look out at Alaska and just think. Somewhere, I just hope there were friends that night that were like, he's coming back. Yeah. He's coming back. Guys, he's coming back. He said he'd get it.

He's going right down to get it. And in Russia, the punishment would be what? Kill him on the spot? Probably. With his family. Oh, yeah. down to get it. And in Russia, the punishment would be what? Kill him on the spot? Probably. With his family? Oh, yeah. Go to jail forever? Or a new tank instructor?

Yeah. Maybe he turned it around in that street. That's story one, guys. I love it. I love it. We're off and running. This is Dumb People Town. We have Jamie Lee with us.

Don't go anywhere. Stay rude. Stick around. Make a sound. There's more Dumb People Town. All right, guys. Welcome back to the show. Jamie Lee is our guest.

She has a new comedy album. Yes. Correct. How can people get this? Let's let them know. It's a digital download. The album is called I Mean. I mean.

I mean. With like 12 Ns. Yeah. It's I mean dot, dot, dot. So really yeah. With like 12 N's. Yeah, it's I mean, dot, dot, dot. So really, you can add as many N's as you want. Is it your first album or no? It is, yeah. Oh, awesome. Oh, wait.

Fantastic. That's wonderful. Where did you record it? I recorded it. Well, I did a first recording in Denver, and I really loved it, but it took too long to engineer it, so then I was like, I feel like this material's old, so I just decided to record again in Philadelphia. Wow. At the Helium.

Nice. It's a great club. Yeah, it was really fun. Really, really good. Yeah. World championship. World champion Philadelphia Eagles. World championship. They have a Super Bowl under their belt, but they're world champions, and now they have a Jamie Lee album. They can claim both in the last year.

It's been a good year for Philly. I mean, Philly's pretty lucky. Philly! 50% of that is due to me. I'd say so. Look, the fact that you recorded an album there gave them hope to win a Super Bowl. Philly needed this. Philly needed this.

Look, Denver won a few years ago, and you're like, they already won. They already won. Where can I go to bring success? Where can I give back to the community? So how much time was between the Denver recording and the Philly recording? It was like eight months. Okay, so you wrote how much material in that time? Not a ton, but definitely like a good 15 to 20 minutes that I wanted to use.

That's amazing. And also, you know that thing where you'll do a joke for a while and then like a couple of years later you still do it, but you've added a bunch and it's now like a fully fleshed out bit that had happened. It was a joke and you're like, oh, I added so much more to this. And I was like, this is different. It's evolved. So I want to rerecord it the new way.

Right. And you were, I think you had stuff about getting married or getting on the way to getting married. Oh, that was a big part of it. Yeah. Cause like I, I, the, when I recorded it in Denver, I don't even think I, I think I had just gotten engaged. Right. So that was like, and then more things happened obviously on the way to it. Yeah, exactly. So I just, um, yeah, I just was like, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta spruce this thing up. Life happened. I love it. So it's digital. You can get it on iTunes. I mean, who did it? A special thing.

Oh, a special thing. Love them. They made our second album. Oh, did they? Did they make something for you or no? I don't know. They did Nate Fridson. Our buddy Nate Fridson.

They made me happy. Yeah, they did a great job. Great, great, great, great. Support that, please. And definitely support our Poop Doc because you're great in it. Thank you. And we loved it. What a treat. That comes out in theaters. Thank you. And we loved it. What a treat.

That comes out in theaters. I'm so excited to see it. Friday, February 16th over the sort of President's Day weekend. I know that the Black Panther is coming out that weekend. Our joke is that we made the Brown Panther. Very different. We'll see what happens with it. We'll see.

It's a funny documentary. Your documentary is part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. It is. It is now. Yeah, it is now. It's a marvel that Your documentary is part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe It is It's a Marvel that we got it made Yeah it is a modern Shitting is a modern Marvel But if you love comedians and you love truly like Independent film this is the most

Indie film ever We can't believe it's getting released at all But it has been a labor of love for a while You have so many good comedians in it. There are great comedians in it. It's unbelievable. And if you listen to this podcast and you love this podcast, a lot of them have been on this podcast before. And it is a wonderful way to support. So if you're not in the 11 cities, I don't know exactly which ones there are.

I think it's – I know it's San Francisco. I know it's L.A. I know it's New York. I know it's Chicago. Cleveland. Cleveland. Atlanta.

Atlanta, maybe. Kansas City. Kansas City, maybe Philadelphia. Toronto. Toronto. It's Atlanta. Atlanta, maybe. Kansas City. Kansas City, maybe Philadelphia. Toronto. It's in a bunch of places. If it's not in your city, you can go VOD and just get it day of. Where in New York is it playing? It's playing at the Village East, which is a really cool movie theater.

Oh, I've seen movies there. Yeah, I love that place. That's awesome. I'm going to tell you that. And in LA, it's out in Santa Monica at the Lemley Monument. Are you guys doing a little thing on that premiere night on Friday or Thursday? Maybe we'll just show up and just drop our pants at the event. Don't do that.

Oh, don't? Don't do that in front of the theater. This is never a good time for that. New York City is in the Village East. L.A. is at the Lemley Monument, which is at 2nd Avenue in Santa Monica. Chicago at Facets Cinematheque, which is really cool. Dan knows that. L.A. is at the Lemley Monica, which is at 2nd Avenue in Santa Monica. Chicago at Facet's Cinematheque, which is really cool.

Dan knows that. Dan knows that. In Cleveland, it's at Tower City. In Atlanta, it's at the Plaza Theater. In Detroit, it's at Cinema Detroit.

Boston at Apple Cinemas. KC, Kansas City, at Screenland Tapcade, which probably sounds like a very cool bar arcade thing. San Francisco, the Roxy Theater in Minneapolis.

Oh, I love the Roxy. It's the oldest theater in San Francisco. Yeah. So cool. I think it's the oldest. Oh, ever. Even older than the Castro Theater, which is older than the Globe. I think it is like a national.

It's a treasure. I believe it. Yeah, because I was there recently and they were like, oh, yeah, we have a very rich history. We said, when asked what theater, we said it has to be in a landmark. Yeah. We demanded that. I mean. Not to be a diva, but.

I mean. All right. So in Minneapolis is in Emma Jean Lakeville. Oh, I thought you were just going to say a person's place. No, it's in Emma Jean's house. It's in Emma Jean's apartment. Emma Jean's apartment. We'll be screening it there.

So you can see it there or it's on on Video On Demand and iTunes and all that stuff. Again, if you want to support us, you don't live in those cities, but please see it. Jamie is so good in it, along with everybody from Rob Corddry, Lauren Weidman, Aisha Tyler, Eric Stonestreet, Nick Swardson, Jonah Rubin, Jonah Ray, just Kumail. Pete Holmes. Pete Holmes. Like, really great people Talking about a very difficult subject Steve Agee's uncomfortableness

Of talking about this Was so palpable It was beautiful Oh wow Because you'd think like Steve Agee Would just talk about all that stuff But he was having a really hard time It made it so great

He was a little emotionally constipated He was He was stopped up We had to let it out This is not a movie we wanted to make. We just had to come out. It had to come out of us. It's called Poop Talk, so check that out.

All right, Daniel. Ready? Second story. Here we go. This was sent in by Steve Krisk, or Krisky. Oh, I love him so much. At Kick Puncher. I love this dude.

He tweets at us all the time, and he's a great guy. Guys, we have another romance in Dumb People Town. The first one, I think, was with our beloved Nikki Glaser, who was here when we found out about this. Now here's another one. Nikki Glaser also in the film. Hilarious. A woman fed up with searching for the perfect man has married the ghost of a 300-year-old pirate instead. And she says he's her soulmate.

That's a call that would be left, right? So you couldn't be a mate on any other level. I love that she puts the search on herself. I got to search for another guy. She found him? She found him. We'll get into it, but I want you to first see their wedding photo. I love that you made it he wouldn't leave her.

Look at that. That's love, guys. By the way, she is cute. She's a looker. Wow. Jimmy, you wrote a book about getting married. I wrote a book called Ridiculous, An Unfiltered Guide to Being a Bride. And I really wish that I had this image in my head.

I think it would have informed the whole book. Guys, head over to the Facebook page to join in on this. Also, I haven't said this in a long time because people have asked. If you want to send a story, hashtag dumbpeopletown at DanielVanKirk on Twitter. Yes. And that's how I go through them. That is a great picture. Is she doing this so she can tell the world that her vagina

is haunted? Like, where is that moment? Well, it's also, I love how it's like, I would rather marry a 300-year-old ghost than be single. Like, that's so... That is sad. That is social pressure. Amanda Like, how bad is that? That's very sad. That is social pressure.

Amanda Teague. You're not saying she's sad. You're saying the system is broken. Yeah, the system is making her marry a ghost pirate. Broken, then enforcing her to marry a 300-year-old ghost pirate? Amanda Teague, 45 years old. And isn't it always like older dudes can just get younger women? It's not fair.

I hate the fact that it's not fair. 45 years old, you have to marry a ghost pirate. 300-year- women. It's not fair. I hate the fact that at 45 years old, you have to marry a ghost pirate. It's not fair. So if you are considering being a ghost and a pirate, just know that at 300, 45-year-old women are open to you. Also, a pirate is like a convict. Yes. He's a ghost criminal. He's not just a criminal.

He's a ghost criminal. She can fix him. Don't you understand? She likes a bad boy because she can fix him. No one wants a nice guy. That was all our him. Don't you understand? She likes a bad boy because she can fix him. No one wants a nice guy. Like, that was all our problem. I mean, that is so true. I'm a nice guy, and that's why no one wants me.

He's dangerous. I don't know him. Yeah, he's dead, but he's dangerous. And her friends are like, Amanda, he lives on a boat. He doesn't even have a house. You don't know him. I don't need to know him. He's a pirate who lives on a boat. He doesn't even have a husband. You don't know him. I don't need to know him. You don't know him.

He's a pirate who lives on a boat. No, he used to be a pirate 300 years ago. Now he plays the role of my husband. Okay. So his life hasn't advanced in 255 years. In frozen time. In frozen time. Okay.

Well, whatever. Let's go. Dave, let's go. Whatever. Amanda Teague, 45, has married. And meanwhile, everyone's just jealous that she has someone who's like into her. She definitely has a friend who's like, why can't I find someone? Why can't I find a 290-year-old?

Just wait for the right ghost. Yeah, they look. You gotta, you know, you're like, oh, they have to be living. And that's what's blocking you from love. That's what's keeping you. Open your mind. You're so lucky. Her friends invite her over to a party.

Now is he going to be coming with you? He's here. Do we need to make more? Should I set a place for him? No, he'll just take whatever he wants. Yeah, that's what I don't want him in my house stealing our shit. He's a pirate. He's not that kind of ghost. Not anymore. He's more of a hover ghost.

He's not like a steal things type. We can't get it. Amanda Teague, 45, has married a Haitian pirate named Jack who died in the 1700s. And the fact that he's dead doesn't bother her. I put that inflection on my own. It doesn't bother her. I'm going to show you another picture of them. She looks like, I don't say this as an insult, she kind of looks like a stunt double for Elizabeth Taylor on her wedding day.

Like an older Elizabeth Taylor. Wow. Doesn't she? She's striking. Yeah, she's pretty. Yeah. And tan. She's tan.

How old did they say she's? 45. That woman's 45? That's the other thing. I don't know. She looks great. No, that girl looks like she's 63 years old. 63.

She looks great for 63. Wait, can you tilt the screen up a little bit? Because it does. Oh, that girl looks 63 years old. 63. She looks great for 63. Wait, can you tilt the screen up a little bit? Oh, now honestly that made a huge difference. She was looking really tan and young and now 63, right? We're 46. We're a year older than her. She's lying about being 45?

She's not 45. Well, if you're marrying a ghost, does age really matter? I don't know. I mean... Imagine what he lied I don't know. I mean. Imagine what he lied about on his profile. Exactly. His profile. Profile. If you're her friend.

Ghost Tinder. Ghost-er. Ghost-er. If you're her friend, how long do you let this play out? You don't. But you get an invitation to their wedding. Do you go? I think you have to.

The dress, too. I think you have to be. If you're really good friends think you have to. The dress, too. I think you have to be. If you're really good friends, you have to call her out on it right away. By the way, she looks so happy. Does she? Would you want to? Your voice went up so high. I mean, those eyebrows.

Yeah, yeah. She looks like, did you get it? Yeah. Did you take the photo or not? Take the picture. She looks like, who's the? He hates this. She looks like a possessed, older Debra Messing.

She kind of looks like Cinderella's stepmother. She looks like Debra Possessing. She looks like an evil Disney villain from the 60s. Debra Messy. Oh, jeez. Ask our brothers. That was the first time we did it together, guys. That was impressive impressive whatever it was

I was tweeting anytime we say something that's terrible Dan says or something great so people can tweet all of their energy at us

so last night we were live tweeting the Super Bowl we're recording this now just letting you know the magic of this but we were recording and I was live tweeting

and I made some joke and someone tweeted at me in Daniel Van Kirk's voice at Sklar Brothers. I was like, I'm sorry. Sorry. Amanda Teague's friends and family attended the wedding on a boat off the Irish coast. Like any ordinary couple, they have arguments, go on dates, and even have sex. What?

That's not like most couples. You ready for the real dumb people townhouse? Yeah, they sound really healthy, actually. Joke's on us. She said, he's my soulmate, I'm so happy, was the quote from Amanda Teague. Here it comes. Here's the other foot. A Captain Jack Sparrow impersonator.

She also impersonates Captain Jack Sparrow. No! Look at her. The best thing is, if any of you have to get closer, do it. She looks just like him. She looks so much like him. The girl in the window, if you can see her. There's a woman in the window who's like, why is this tiny, tiny girl?

Did I tell you about the tiny girl? It looks like the girl from Four Non Blondes. Yeah, exactly. I mean, what's going on? I said, hey, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, so here's my question. I fucked a ghost and I got real high. And I said, hey.

Why aren't my friends talking to me? So when I saw the second Pirates of the Caribbean, or do you call it Caribbean? Sure, whatever. Pirates of the Caribbean. What do you call it, Jamie? I say Caribbean. I think that, yeah. But Caribbean.

Pirates of the Caribbean. Caribbean is better. Yes. I think Caribbean is the ride. Caribbean is the movie. Pirates of the Caribbean. Wait, where are you taking a cruise to? Pirates of the Caribbean. The Caribbean. Pirates of the Caribbean. The Caribbean. Anyway. Pirates of the Caribbean. Wait, where are you taking a cruise to? Pirates of the Caribbean.

Pirates of the Caribbean. The Caribbean. Anyway. I like Caribbean. You can say it either way. I think this year it's Caribbean. Maybe next year I'll change it back. Caribbean.

So I went to go see it with my wife in Long Island. We were out there visiting her mom and stepdad. And we went to a theater in long island to see it the weekend it came out okay the second movie so there's a lot of hype around it first movie did amazingly well packed on a friday night we go to see this in a long island theater okay we get in there and the second the jack Sparrow, Johnny Depp's character, comes on screen, the entire place cheers, claps. What?

As if he on the screen could hear that. I get that at a Broadway play. I get that at a live comedy event. Wasn't that one of our old bits when we were in high school was that we would go to see Broadway shows and it would be like- We saw a show at the Muny which is an outdoor place in St. Louis. And there was like

the guy from this old TV show when he stepped on stage before he said anything he clapped. Everybody clapped. Basically to say thank you for all the great things

you did for us. And then there was the dog from Annie was also the dog from Empty Nest. That was the dog from Empty Nest. Great show.

Great show. They used the dog from Empty Nest. Same dog. And that dog came out and Jason and I clapped. That deserves a clap. That was our bit.

People do this at the end of movies too. I think that's just to show everybody else in the audience they liked it. Or they got it. By the way, I get clapping when a plane lands more than this. I love to start an airplane land clap. I love it. At least the pilot

can hear that. And the staff can hear it. Thank you so much for a great flight. Thank you Southwest. Thank you for your funny jokes. Yeah, all the jokes. That's what I'm clapping for. All of them hit super hard. That's what I'm clapping for. As the turbulence throws the peanuts

down the aisle. That's hilarious. Never not funny. But the idea that people were clapping for him as he came on screen, I could not believe it, but it just tells you how much of an impact this guy has had.

So this woman is clearly making up this dude. Yeah. Because she's into cosplay. But can we say from this photo also of hers, Jack Sparrow, just not a smiler. Jacqueline Sparrow.

She just never looks pleased in any photo that we've seen her in. No. Does Johnny Depp ever look pleased? I will say she looks haunted. She does. She looks like she's being haunted.

Quote, this is Amanda Teague, it's the perfect kind of relationship for me. Not real. Yeah. No, he doesn't complain about her dressing like Johnny Depp. There are a lot of people out there who don't. And like Johnny Depp, she smacks him around a little. Maybe. Allegedly.

There are a lot of people out there who don't know about spiritual relationships, but it could be right for them. I want to get the message out there. What message? Did she say how they met? Amanda, who thinks her job is what could have brought Jack to her. Great segue. Thank you, Jamie Lee. Thank you, Jamie Lee. Thank you, Jamie Lee. Has never seen her husband in physical form, but she imagined he is similar to Captain

Jack in Pirates of the Caribbean. Okay. I don't know about that. Bro's Haitian. Yeah, he's Haitian. I think he's a little different than Jack Sparrow. Old 1700. Black Sparrow.

Black Sparrow. Look. That was good. That may be the title of this episode. Thank you, Jamie Lee, for giving us the title. I also want to be clear to everybody at Dumb People Town, because not always a crime has to be committed, but this is the type of crazy shit that goes on in our little town.

And it falls under my rule of, if she's not hurting herself, and she's not hurting anybody else, and she's been happier, go for it. This is not a comment on mental illness who knows she just has an imaginary in my opinion you made me put me to it she has an imaginary friend that she's really developed a relationship i feel like if you if your work is to pretend to be a pirate like the last type of person you would want to marry as a pirate yeah exactly bringing it home i don't want to bring why a pirate. Bringing it home. Yeah, exactly. Bringing it home. She can't turn it off. She can't turn it off.

The romance began one night in 2014 when laying in bed, she felt the energy of a spirit next to her. When she realized he could communicate with her, she became more interested. Oh, you can talk to me? The relationship developed and he'd sit with her. Which is more than you can say for most of the guys

you've dated, huh? The relationship developed and he'd sit with her. Which is more than you can say for most of the guys. The relationship developed and he'd sit with her when she was watching TV or driving. Do you want me to turn the channel or not? Because I don't care. If you want to watch it, I'll watch it. But I'm saying I don't care if we watch it. This is how I drive. This is how I drive. Just tell me what you do want for dinner, not what you're willing to eat.

What do you want for dinner? The best thing is that now with AirPods and Bluetooth, no one will think that she's crazy. I know. People will just be like, she's on the phone. Don't bother her. I don't want to go there because you're willing to go there for me. I want you to tell me what you want to eat. No, I don't want you to go there because I want to go there.

I want you to want to go there. Just tell me, Jack, sit down. Just tell me the type of food you're willing to watch me eat and I'll pick the place. I don't know. Whatever you want. Whatever you want. I'll do whatever you want. That's what I'm... I feel you're being passive-aggressive. You keep saying whatever I want, but I feel like... Whatever you want to do.

You're going to let me have my way and then you're going to expect something from me. You're going to punish me for going to... Then you'll expect me to bow down on some other to be mad later. You're going to punish me for going to. Then you'll expect me to bow down on some other thing. Fine, fine. We won't go to Longevity Silver's. That's where he always wants to go. In our family, we called it Fend. She's like, honestly, I hate fried food, but it's his thing.

In our family growing up, we called it Fend. Like, if my mom had just had enough of us, it was Fend. And that means you just Fend for yourself. Whatever you want to eat tonight, you eat it. Literally. What are we having, Mom? You know what? At this point, we're having Fend. Fend, and that means you just fend for yourself. Whatever you want to eat tonight, you eat it. Literally. What are we having, Mom? You know what? At this point, we're having fend.

Fend. And I'd be like, all right, Matt, Vance, let's go hunting. Let's go hunting. Let's go make some pasta. Let's go see if Uncle Ken and Aunt Connie will make us a sandwich. Let's sprinkle some Reese's Pieces on top of some bread. Reese's. Reese's.

Reese's. Reese's. Reese's. She says, Amanda's feelings for Jack grew grew and they got to know each other more And then one day he told her they could actually be together Which I also love I love that he was holding out We could really be together

I just want to take my time I've been alive 300 years I'm not really looking to rush into anything Or dead 300 years Both Although she'd never had a spiritual boyfriend before she did some research and realized she wasn't the only one to have a relationship with a spirit amanda had been married before and has five children with her ex-husband but now

she feels like her connection to her new husband is very strong wow so the kids were like all right mom dresses up like jack Sparrow. This is a little fucked up. Oh, did you hear? No, you didn't hear? Mom's also in love with Jack Sparrow now. She has an imaginary friend with benefits. She's taking a 300-year-old guy who is from Haiti and made it into Johnny Depp's character.

How's your mom doing? I haven't seen her. She's married to him. Go high. Go high on it. She's good. I mean, I guess I have a new stepdad. Go high on it. She's good. No, she's good. She, I mean, I guess I have a new stepdad. I got an invitation. Wait, whoa, what? Wait, I didn't even know she was dating.

Yeah, it's kind of crazy. Is he cool? He just kind of like came into her life, you know? But you've met him and he's cool, right? I wouldn't say I've met him, but I've been told he's met me. Oh, okay. Okay. That's interesting.

Seems weird. But your dad's still with that young woman met me. Oh, okay. That's interesting. Seems weird. But your dad's still with that young woman. Yeah. That's a deep... And this has nothing to do with that. No, no, no, no, no, no.

No. All right, that's story two, y'all. Story two is the boss. Love it. I love it. Anytime there's spiritual love, we love it up here in Dumb People's Shop.

Just shenanigans in Dumb People's. I love it. Give me a little teaser of what we got in the last final quick segment. No crime committed, and it's just a prank. And it's fun. It's perfect for Dumb People's Town. I love it.

Jamie Lee is with us. We'll be back with more DPT right after this. Stick around. Make a sound. There's more Dumb People's Town. Hey, guys. Welcome back to the show. Dan, take us home. Here we go.

By the way, follow Jamie Lee on Twitter. Your Twitter has jumped up. I've watched it just explode in the best possible way. You are at? The Jamie Lee. And then I'm really Jamie Lee on Instagram. Follow both. They can still get the book too, right?

Yeah, you can get the book. If you go to my Twitter or my Instagram, there's like a link to it. Amazon? Yeah, it's on Amazon. It's called Wediculous. It's W-E-D-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S. It's a great gift for anybody that's having an engagement party or just found out your friend got married. It's like the go-to, I feel like. I created the go-to.

You created the go-to. It is. It really is a great gift. I'm for you. To have somebody with a go-to. You created the go-to. It is. It really is a great gift. I feel you. Yeah. To have somebody with a great sense of humor who went through

that whole process documented in a way that's funny. I was writing it as I was getting married, so it's all very real. I love it. Like, visceral.

Fantastic. All right, Dan. Here we go. This was sent in by Rudy underscore at Rudy X-T-Y-N. I'm a fan of 1980s ska. Message to you, Rudy. Montreal.

This is, I think, our first time in Montreal. Oh, Canada. Montreal. Montreal. Simon Laprice. So probably like Simon Laprice. Right? Had a plan.

Some snow and a couple hours to spare. So he's got a lot of snow. And no job. Well, the result of his stuff, a delightful picture of a lone officer staring skeptically at a car parked in a snow removal zone. Ticket in hand. Little did the officer know, it was all a trick. This artist built a car out of snow, made it look like it had all a trick. This artist built a car out of snow, made it look like

it had been parked there, and then the cops showed up to get this thing ticketed and towed. It's not a car. Whoa! So you've got I'm sure this has happened to you guys. You've been walking back to your car as they're writing you the ticket for the parking ticket, and you beg, and you're

like, please, and they're like, it's already in the system. Yeah, sorry, I already put my pen to the paper. Right? It's not in the system. And you want to get back, and you want to yell, and you want to say something mean, like I hope you run your car into a tree or something like that.

This is a way better way to get back. And look at the cop being like, I'm going to get this. I'm going to nail this. He's writing the ticket right there. Who parks it here and left it there for so long that it's completely covered? Completely covered. Now, in high school, have you guys ever snowed in a car? In high school, we all went to Kyle Kisick's house, got like all the snow gear we could find,

and then spent like two hours making a perfect snow block out of Tamara Sanders' car that was parked on the street near his house. And it was obviously the size of a car. I think she had like a Daytona. And the whole thing was just one enormous block of snow, and we covered it all. She couldn't get in there. We had snow, but not to that level. I barely had snow.

I grew up in Texas. Yeah, you guys aren't making snow, do you? You had snow, though? We did, yeah, because in Dallas it does get cold around the holidays. So I could make like a bowl of snow. Not like a full-blown snowman. What happened to your accent? No accent.

Yeah, it went away. Yeah, I ditched it. Do you remember having an accent? I never really had it because my dad has such a thick accent that I think I just kind of like tried to not. Does he have a really thick southern accent? My dad sounds like Hank Hill from Hank Hill. He's like, Jamie, let me talk to you for a minute. She's doing comedy in L.A.

Oh, really? She's funny. She wrote a book about weddings. She's real funny. We got one of them scrambler boxes so we can watch her on HBO. Hey, Boom Hour, get over here. Read that wedding book Jamie wrote. The machinist from

Montreal was hoping to prank snow removal crews in his neighborhood with a fake car he made after the storm on Monday. Here's what I love. The car he made, it was the DeLorean DMC-12 from Back to the Future. This guy is a gifted ice sculptor.

He also made a flux capacitor on the inside that you could not see. Didn't have to. It was fluxing. Sometimes you do jokes for yourself on stage. That was for him. You always need a little extra. It has to be a little bit of realism to really trick people. The coup de grace for this

man was the real... That's what they wrote. Coup de grace. No, coup de grace. It, Coup de Gras. Oh, yeah, because it is a two-door coupe. I say Marine Corp, and I say Coup de Gras. If you write it, I'm saying it the way it's written. So the Coup de Gras.

I was hoping you guys would catch that. The two-door Coup de Gras. The Coup de Gras, de Grassis, was a real windshield wiper he had found across the street while working on the project. He placed it inconspicuously as if it were the only

exposed part of the car. Smart. That's genius. That's sneaky dog. That is genius because who's now? Did he make a license plate too? Oh, probably. What was the license plate on Back to the Future? Something Time? No.

I'm sorry for whatever dumb people town listener is yelling at us. Don't look it up, Jay. Make them yell at us. The police soon came to investigate because it was parked in a snow removal zone only to discover after some time that the car was made entirely of snow. Okay, if I'm the artist, and as comedians, we would do this. Okay, as people who enjoy fucking with other people that is the moment that you come out and argue like crazy

the way you would if you just keep going no no no no make the bit happen I was just about to move this I was just you better move it right now

I can't move it right now I was going to I can't right now I gotta go get the keys but please don't write me a ticket really make the whole thing and make him write the whole ticket it was out of time

out of time out of time no but like the best would be if you did that, it got so bad and then you just jump into the whole car and just destroy it.

Make him write the ticket. Or you like carve a little like path into the snow and then you pour alcohol in it and then you just do a vodka shot. Yes! Off the ice sculpture. Just make a luge.

Make a luge out of the car. I would love to get in and argue with the cops and then be like, tow it. Then the ice sculpture. Just make a luge. Make a luge out of the car. I would love to get in and argue with the cops and then be like, tow it. Then come tow it. Get them to bring the whole tow truck down there

and oh God, that is a really good idea. This is a great prank. Yeah, it's pretty genius. This is what's great about the cops. Officers did end up writing the priest a ticket

and it said, you made our night. Ha ha ha ha ha. And they wrote a little smiley face. This is Canada. This is Canada. Oh yeah. We were going to bring. Oh, that was funny. That, ha, ha, ha, ha. This is Canada. And they wrote a little smiley face. This is Canada. This is Canada. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. We were going to bring. Oh, that was funny. That was so. John, come on down here, John. You got to check it out. You got to tell Brandon. This car is so big.

It was a little car. He's playing peri-hockey now. And then he made this whole crank on the top. We were about to get the moose out here just trampled through it. But we decided not to. I will say this. As a person who lived through so many winters

especially city winters in Chicago there are people pissed that this guy took up a parking spot to make a fake car. Yes. Oh yeah.

They had to circle the block twice. Jamie's still in it. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Now you've been to the Montreal Comedy Festival have you?

I have, yeah. Okay, so what I love about Montreal is you would think, Dan, that that is the case. And in Chicago, people would be livid beyond belief that they took... Chairs in the street, holding spots. Oh my god, they'd be so mad. In Montreal, even at rush

hour when there's traffic, they don't honk their horns. They are the most polite. It's very polite. It's like everybody's happy, everybody's polite no matter what. I feel like people in Montreal would let it go. Yeah, I think they'd be alright with it. And also it's a very artistic city. They like street art.

Look at this installation. There's a guy who's a giant clown. There's a clown on stilts over here. His whole head is just a light fixture. I wonder if he did it. All good things must come to an end. Just for rare.

Is that just for rare? All good things must come to an end. Juiced for rear. Juiced for rear. Is that juiced for rear? All good things must come to an end. However, the snow plows destroyed the creation. That must have been fun. Hey, Jamie, look out here. They got this. Hey, Jamie, they got one. They got a snow car.

Snow car. Tell your mom. Snow car. Dang old snow car. Jamie, get her wedding book. We're going to beat the car with your book. Here, I don't know how to use this goddamn thing. Call your uncle and tell him to get over here and check this out.

Pause the Cowboys game and get out here with that book. Get out of here. I'm going to ask you guys this. How old is Simone Lepre? Too much fun leaves marks in life. Living hard, you'll pay the price Who is gonna get it right? Guess the age, guess the age

The artist, the machinist, you know that he's a machinist, he has a lot of time on his hands. He did this, it's at night time when it happened, I don't know if that's middle of the night, they don't give an hour. Do you want to go first, second, or third? I'll go first. Okay. I don't know if that's middle of the night. They don't give an hour. Do you want to go first, second, or third? I'll go first.

Okay. Yeah, I think young. I think like fresh out of McGill University. I would say like 24. 24 from Jimmy Lee Randy or Jason? I'm going to say 37. 37. He's thought about this and maybe tried it with like a couple smaller things, but he's working up to it.

He's built his way up. I am going to go, you guys, I'm going way against the grain here. Okay. things but he's working up to it I am gonna go you guys I'm going way against the grain here I think he's a 300 year old pirate shut up man I do I do stop I think you're right this is a guy who clearly does not have children

if you have this much time to waste on a car or a significant other anyone a significant other would like knock that idea down like. A significant other would knock that idea down midway through. No, let's go. What are you doing? Yeah. I'd rather.

So the idea that he'll look back on this time in his life when he could make a snow car and say, why don't I have that kind of time when he's older? So I think he's 27 years old. 27 years old. What'd you say, Jay? I said 37. Okay. And you said 24. 24. old. What'd you say, Jay? I said 37. Okay. And you said 24.

24. Alright. Simone Lepre, the artist who created the DeLorean from Back to the Future, made it into a snow car, and tricked the cops, is 33 years old. Oh! It's you. I think I win again.

Everybody was doing the math. We were doing the math in our doing the math 33 the same age that Jesus was when he died yep that Jesus age they both were pulling pranks

on humankind exactly I Mean is available digitally I Mean Jamie Lee's comedy album

and she is trust us we know we love her as a stand up we had you in that thing that we did that was on the pre in the movie movie trailer thing, in the Ipik movies.

You were fantastic. Wait, which one? Didn't she do stand-up? Did she do stand-up? I think she did, or we want her to do it, or she didn't. We wanted you to do it, but we used you in the thing on the all-night, on the MTV. Oh, yeah, that was so fun. We want to use you in everything that we do, and we're so happy for you.

She's great in Crashing on HBO. That's airing right now. That's airing right now that's airing right now season two yep and she's in our poop doc which we all want you to go see

called Poop Talk and get it on demand February 16th we're seeing it in the theaters that we mentioned Daniel have a great week thanks same to all

the three of you and we will see you next week oh shit we gotta get back to work stick around make a sound knock it down

it's Dumb People Town.