Dumb People Town - Jay Light - Dumb Town Friendly

Episode Date: July 20, 2018

The Sklars and Dan Van Kirk are joined by comedian Jay Light for a DPT minisode! In this week’s story, a shark drags a woman in to crocodile-infested Australian waters.

All right, guys, I want to talk to you about something. And I know a lot of you out there, you have families, you're married, or if you're not, you're just cooking for yourself. There's a moment in the evening where you say to yourself, what am I going to do? What am I going to make? I hate that moment. Are we literally making shells again for these children? This is what I'm saying. Blue Apron can change all that.

It really does. Like, skip your meal planning and just—it's stressful to me. Yeah, have great meals ready for you. Get straight to cooking with Blue Aprons. Delicious meals that are great on the grill. They send, by the way, all the ingredients, even hard-to-find ingredients. I'm going to say this and your mouth is going to water. Honey chipotle glazed chicken with poblano and lime rice.

I want it. My mouth is watering. Add smoky depth to your dinner while enjoying the warm weather. It's summertime. That's a great thing to grill out there. And getting these perfect grill marks, I absolutely love it. With incredible ingredients and chef-designed recipes, Blue Apron

gives you the power and lets you know the power of what food can do for you and how it can make. And how good you feel in accomplishing something just by cooking something yourself. Great variety, convenience. They send it to you, as Jay mentioned. They only send you for each meal

the amount of ingredients that you need, so there's not excess. You're not wasting. You're not going to have like a gallon of hoisin sauce sitting in your refrigerator for six years. Flexibility. Blue Apron offers 12 new recipes each week, and customers can pick two, three, or four recipes

based on what fits their schedule. High quality. You know, they send only non- Highest level meats and fish. Non-GMO ingredients and meat with no added hormones. Again, it is, I just, to me, I used Blue Apron long before they ever sponsored the show. And it helped us help my family cook together. My daughter is now in a cooking camp.

And so she is now participating in the Blue Apron stuff later at night. It's just a wonderful thing. Love it. So check out this week's menu and get your first three meals free at blueapron.com slash dpt.

That's blueapron.com slash dpt. Get your first three meals for free. I'm going to just, again, the honey chipotle glazed chicken

with poblano and lime rice. Chrissy Teigen's chipotle lime chicken fajitas with sauteed mushrooms and sweet peppers. Are you kidding me? chipotle lime chicken fajitas with sauteed mushrooms and sweet peppers. Are you kidding me?

How about, this is a customer favorite, sweet chili beef and vegetable stir fry with garlic rice. That sounds awesome. My kids would love it. I was going to say,

Chrissy Teigen's dish is a legend. It is. It's legendary. Barbecue vegetable flatbread with Swiss cheese. I absolutely love it. Blue Apron,

again, blueapron.com slash dpt. Get your first three meals free. Blue Apron. Again, blueapron.com slash dpt. Get your first three meals free. Blue Apron, a better way to cook. Dan and Ran and Jay will share tales of folks so unaware. They lack in grace and sometimes choose the life they choose. We'll make the news.

Breaking down each epic fail. In Florida, there's half-price mail. I'm happy to say they couldn't make this up. Hey townies, welcome to a mini episode of Dumb People Town! Population new. Population light. We're gonna turn the lights on in here today. Do you know how in some countries they call it like Coke light? Yeah. It's not Diet Coke. Oh, it's Coke light.

Coke light. We have comedy light here. The royal light. It's comedy light. It's comedy without the calories. Jay Light joins us. Jay Light, one of our favorite people connected with the roast battle. have comedy light royal light it's comedy light it's comedy without the calories jay light jay light one of our favorite people connected with the roast battle he is a tremendous joke writer he is a sweet guy he might be the whitest guy you've ever seen could be can you please tell me the practically translucent tell the joke about your lips you have a great joke about your lips

and you and we'll take a picture and we'll post it on the facebook page if you're not on the facebook page get on it get on it what the hell are. If you're not on the Facebook page, join the page. Get on it. Get on the Facebook page. What the hell are you waiting for? You've got to see these lips. Jay Lights lips. I am a straight man, but it does look like my lips have touched all the dicks. There you go. Look, I know what I'm working with.

These things. Could be both. Like two donuts sitting on my face just waiting to get glazed. Let's glaze these donuts. Hey, Dan, you know how you say, like, let's light this candle? Yeah. Let's glaze these donuts, shall we? We're here for a reason, Daniel Van Kirk.

I know. You got a story. I do. You want to do it? Yes. Let's jump in. Sent in by Catherine Tuck, at Catherine Lorna. Old Friar Tuck.

Let's tuck and roll. Let's tuck and roll. This is how the tuck rule came into effect. K-A-T-H-E-R-I-N-E-L-O-R-N-A. Thank you, Catherine. All right, here we go. I'm going to read you guys the headline. Ready?

What are we going to feel when we read that? Are we going to know everything we need to know from the headline, or is it just going to pique our interest? Okay, good. Shark. Okay. I already love it. I already love it.

Shark. Shark drags woman into crocodile infested waters in Australia. Okay. This is the point where you say like, maybe we don't need to see everything in Australia. Right. You know what I mean? Like, let's just do. The thing in Australia is that like, you'll die there, right?

Everything will kill you. I've been to Australia. I was on Kangaroo Island. Stop. Which sounds like a made up place. I saw a bunch of kangaroos. It sounds like a kid. A little kid cartoon.

Like, that's their discovery zone. Let's go to Kangaroo Island. I swear to you. Hopping about. But if I saw- It's a half a bat. I said, let's get the fuck out of here. I was like, I can't-

Get out, mate. There's no- If I saw any predatory anything- Quit trying to get in my patch Yeah Because there's like Three cities right No there's

There's Melbourne There's Sydney Perth Perth And Kangaroo Island If you are a woman I was on Lizard Island too Listen to me

If you are a woman An Australian woman Who is DTF Yeah Get in my patch I thought you said Dumb town friendly Get in my patch That I thought you were going to say dumb town friendly.

Get in my patch! That means it's time to go. It's time. It's nice and warm in my patch. I have a friend who went there and he told me that they kept telling him, like, look, if you go outside of the city, you will die. There's so many ways you're going to die. Lots of animals and lots of bugs. Don't step on this. Don't pick that.

Don't smell this. So she clearly was where she should not have been. Shark drags woman into crocodile infested waters. That's out of the frying pan into the fryer. This is a moment where they write that into the Meg script. Oh, yeah. That's Meg too. So he drags her in the crocodile water.

Jason Statham thinks this is too much. They'll never believe this. Did Meg come out yet? It's about to. It's on the way. The promotion for it is out now. Somebody's had to have done a Meg parody where it's about Meg from Family Guy, right? Or Meg Ryan.

Or Megan Burkle. Talk about lips. We talk about lips. We talk about lips. It's not out. I've seen commercials for it, so I think it's coming out. Rainn Wilson. It's coming out now.

I want to see it. I definitely want to see it. It's probably out this weekend. Is it weird that I want to see Skyscraper? Yes. No, I totally want to see Skyscraper. Because you're one of the only few. I know.

It did not open well. It did not open well. This is the point where you're like, we've seen a little too much of The Rock. I guess they don't really like his left leg. Weird. All right. What happened at this moment? A once in a lifetime.

Excuse me. A once in a lifetime. I got choked up a little bit. Dan, are you crying? Well, it's a once in a lifetime. Shark drags woman into crocodile infested waters. A once in a lifetime, which is in quotes. Does that mean that they're.

It is a once in a lifetime? Right. Does that mean it happens mean that they're... It isn't once in a lifetime? Right. Does that mean it happens a lot? No, this happens so often in Australia. Yeah, they don't even care. A once in a lifetime. And we have a lot of Australian listeners. We do.

So if they know anything about this, send us our way. Please, guys. That's not a knife. A once in a lifetime trip in May for a woman in Australia. There's no commas, and there should have at least been two at this point. At least. In May, for a woman in Australia, there's no commas and there should have at least been two at this point, quickly turned into a harrowing experience when she suffered a bite while feeding a shark, which then dragged her into the water.

You are a dummy. Well, where are we at right now? Dummy. I'm just going to feed this shark. I know. There's Greg. No, no, no, not that shark. Greg Norman's standing over there. Jay Light, if someone says to you, do you want to come feed this shark, are you

participating in that? Absolutely not. There you go. I know. Jay Light has enough sense. I'm not a black comedian, but this would be a black comedian being like, white people. White people definitely want to feed sharks. White people want to feed sharks. White people want to swim with dolphins. Because in general, there's no danger in white

people's lives. Right. White people want to hang live, white people want to swim with dolphins. Because in general, there's no danger in white people's lives. White people want to hang live, wingsuit. And if you're feeding a shark and then that shark pulls you into the water, do people get to say you died doing what you love? Or you died doing what the shark loved? You're in the shark's turf at that point.

She died doing what sharks love. She died participating in something that at least made the shark happy. Is this a sanctioned tourist activity in Australia? Yes. Feeding the sharks. That's exactly where I was going to go, Jay. Feeding the sharks.

What are we doing tomorrow? I'm still jet lagged. Let's feed the sharks. Here's the thing. I get feeding the shark. You didn't have to put it in your mouth. Yeah. That's the moment where it's going to jump up and take it out.

You know that moment where the zookeeper puts the banana in the mouth and the orangutan takes it out? I'm always like, your face is going to get eaten off right here. I'm really trying to lady in a tramp this shark here. Well, all that is is the ultimate power move. What you're saying to everybody who's watching is, I have so much control of this. You know, you're like the person in Cleveland who had the hostages.

You know what I mean? It's like, they're not going to leave the house. Right. He's not going to bite my face off. And in that moment, I'm like, bite the face off. Here's the thing, too. Do you think the shark only considers what's in your hand food? No, the whole thing.

You're all food. You're all food. You're all food. Yeah, it's like there aren't a lot of situations in our lives where the plate, like, you're talking about like a salad that's also a taco shell. Yeah, a salad's a taco shell. Look, you're going to eat all of it. You know what that is? You're going to eat all of it. A large taco.

Yeah, it's a large taco. It's a human taco. She's a human taco. She's the shell. It's like in cartoons when you see somebody turn into a steak after they've been sitting on a desert island. That's what she is. That's all a shark sees. She sees a giant hot dog feeding her another hot dog.

Your dog can tell the difference between the treat and your hand. But a shark is like, that's all treat. By the way, I'm always amazed at how the dog can tell. You know what I mean? My dog is an English bulldog, and I'm always amazed that he doesn't get your finger. He doesn't get your hand. He's so hungry, and he wants it so badly. It's this tiny little thing.

It's a very small area. Eyes are on the side of his head. They're not looking forward. Small margin for error, but he makes it. He makes it every time. Yeah. Well, I also think we might be on the edge here of creating a new term in life that when you are consistently upping the ante of having a good time, you're feeding the shark. Instead of jumping the shark.

You're feeding the shark. Feeding the shark. Oh, you fed the shark on that one. That was too much. You pushed it too far. You went one step too far. No, jumping the shark is one step too far. Feeding the shark means you want to get to that point.

Yeah, living on the edge. Yeah. Aerosmith. Melissa Brunning was on a yacht in the remote. I hate her already. I'm jealous. I am. And hate her.

Kim Beerly, Kimberly, probably, region in the northwest part of the country, located about 1,500 miles north of Perth, when she tried to hand feed up to four tawny nurse sharks swimming around her boat. Brunning told the West Australian that she didn't realize she shouldn't hand feed a shark until the animal became, quote, like a hoover. Yes, Fran? Okay, Dan, like a hoover. Yes, Randy? Okay, Dan. Dan. The way you presented this is that she went to like a shark feeding situation. It is.

What? It's a shark feeding. It's a Groupon. Yes, exactly. Yeah. She's just saying personally she didn't realize. Oh. Yeah.

I didn't realize I shouldn't hand feed a shark until the animal became, quote, like a hoover, Yeah, I didn't realize I shouldn't hand-feed a shark until the animal became, quote, like a hoover, sucking her right index finger into its mouth full of rows of razor-sharp teeth. Yeah. Well, they're nurse sharks. They're not doctor sharks. They don't seem that dangerous. They're just doing their best. They're medical assistant sharks.

Here, look. Here's the video. What? Oh! It's going to come up again. Give it one sec. She's going to show her hand. She shows her finger.

Oh, God. And then she gets... She's like, here, this is... Are you saying, how dare the shark? Oh, God. Oh, God. Yeah. But see, it's a whole thing. They're all doing it.

They're all doing it. It's set up like a platform where they swim around. She's also in a bikini, which nothing wrong with that. No. But she's not wearing, like, you should be in a wetsuit with like a metal hand that then extends,

you know the claw, I don't know if you've ever been to New York City, the claw. At a Korean deli. At a Korean deli where they use to get the stuff off the top shelf. That's what you use the claw to hand it to the... This is the one time you can touch a situation with a 10-foot pole. It makes sense.

That is the only way to do it. Exactly. I would definitely feed that shark with a 10-foot pole. She goes... Go ahead. It didn't look like she got dragged there into a water. She does. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Maybe it was cut off, but there's one thing where she gets pulled in, and then they all start trying to pull her back. Quote, I think the shark was in shock as much as I was. No, it wasn't. That shark was like, this is a Tuesday. Here we go. This is what we do. The only way I can describe it is this immense pressure, and it felt like it was shredding it off the bone, she told the paper.

I came up, and I was like, I've lost my finger. My finger's gone. Is that your favorite finger? Get out of the water. Yeah, I know. I've lost my finger. My finger's gone. Is that your favorite finger? Get out of the water. Yeah, I know. I've lost my finger. She's yelling at the shark. My finger.

I've lost my finger as if like suddenly it was on me and then it was gone. Has anybody seen my finger? Yeah. Did I have all my fingers when I came to the beach today? Where did you put it last? I hate that question. I've got to wear my dress finger for the rest of this trip. This is so unfortunate.

The dress finger is really. Check your pockets. Well, the problem with the dress finger is that it doesn't go with anything. A lot of times you're like, you're looking at it like I can't. This is just too ornate. I'm just wearing a cover up and a swimsuit. This is ivory and it doesn't match anything else that I'm wearing. Let me ask you guys.

This is second day of your vacation. You staying? And are you becoming the person who will not let it drop constantly that you were attacked by a shark? Yeah. Can we get a table for two? A little bit less than two. Look at my finger here.

I just recently been bitten by a shark. Almost. You've got to let this go. No, they're at, like, can we get a different table that's maybe not close to the bathrooms? I mean, I would totally accept it if I hadn't been bitten by a shark. Hadn't had my finger ripped off by a shark. But right now, my finger was ripped off by a shark. Or her boyfriend's like, I didn't sleep great

last night. Oh, really? You didn't sleep great? I was bitten by a shark! Did you hear that rooster at five in the morning? It was waking everybody up. No, I was busy looking where my finger used to be. I didn't hear it. The shark also pulled her into the water of Dugong Bay, which is inhabited by saltwater crocodiles that can grow up to 20 feet long. Stop. I don't go on a boat in that thing.

I don't go on that boat. So you're saying that's when the dumbness started. The dumbness started with being like, let's go in this little bay. It's on a yacht, which seems like it's too nice. There's no situation. If it was like an airboat or a canoe with holes in it, definitely not going to get on board. You have to pay extra for that experience. Yeah, you get closer to the animal.

Yeah, exactly. Well, there is an arrogance. I'm on a yacht. Nothing's going to happen to me. I can feed these sharks. You're like a superwoman. Right. You're not. You're on a yacht. Nothing's going to happen to me. I can feed these sharks. You're like a super woman. Right. You're not. You're not. No. The entire harrowing

encounter was captured on video, which we'll put up on the Dumb People Town Facebook page. Alright. It's circulated around the news things, but how many times do you show that video? How many times do they go to a party and they're like, did you guys see? Yes, we saw it.

We saw it. Can I show you again? Nope. No. I hope if she ever gets married that that footage makes the slideshow. That's right. It's got to make the slideshow. Put that in the wedding slideshow during the cocktail hour.

Put yackety sacks underneath it. Make it real wacky. So are you guys on record as saying none of you would do this? No way. No one with a brain in their head would do this. I don't need to see. By the way, have you ever seen a shark live? No, that's what I was going to ask you.

So I was in Hawaii, and I saw Humblebrag. No, we get it. And this was like five years ago. And all these people near the beach started running out of the water. Okay. And I'm like, what is going on? What is going on? That's never a good sign.

Never a good sign. And I saw the pointed fin about 20 feet from the shoreline, like swimming like this near the shoreline. Yeah. And I was like, that's insane. So I went snorkeling and the shoreline. Yeah. And I was like, that's insane. So I went snorkeling, and the water was super clear. You could see 200 feet down or 100 feet down to the bottom. And as we're snorkeling along the top. Where are you at?

In Hawaii and out from the boat. So you get in the water, you snorkel around, and I saw down 100 feet below, a tiger shark swimming around. And you say to yourself, how, like they could go a hundred feet very quickly and there's no way that you can even, I'm like, this is a point where you feel like you're out of control. Yeah. It was insane because your blood starts to rush and there's like no need to get that

close. I was as close as I needed to be to that thing. Right. Jay, what happened to you when you looked at a picture of Hawaii once? Oh, man. Because that's as close as I've ever gotten. So much loss and a sense of pain. I was lucky to be there.

I would be too. I'm terrified of losing a finger if I ever fed a horse. I couldn't imagine feeding a shark. Would you guys, would you swim, like get into a cage with great whites? Absolutely not. Would you do it, Jay? If it was a cage and I could see, like if they had video of sharks ramming against this cage. And the cage held up.

The cage held up, I might do that. No, you would not. I would do it. Are you kidding me, Dan? You're trusting a cage that you don't know what that cage has been through. I don't think it's their first day in business. Fine, but what if the cage is- You don't want it to be their last day. You don't know if it's going to be their first day in business. Fine, but what if the cage is... You don't want it to be their last day.

You don't know if it's going to be their last day in business. Wouldn't it just be amazing, though, to see a huge great white or a hammerhead or something? It'd be cool. I'd love to see that go past. And then even if I die, I'll just make sure they get a shark bite out of my tombstone. People in Dumb People Town, listen to me. Shark bite out of your tombstone? And that's Salah.

They probably sell them right there. Yeah. You gotta They probably sell them right there Yeah There's gotta be people in dumb people town Like listeners who have done it I'm sure If you have a business We're gonna post this video If you have a business Invite us

I don't know In Tampa Probably here There's great whites around here. I bet Jan Flato has operated a shark cage before. He's been the guy who lowers the cage. He's like, I'm the rope guy on the shark cage. It says the entire Harry and Connor's caption on video, which shows Brunning screaming as she's dragged into the water before the boat's crew and her friends pull her out.

into the water before the boat's crew and her friends pull her out. If you're bending over a platform off the back of a yacht feeding sharks, maybe tether yourself to something. No. This is a woman who did not think anything was going on. She's drunk. She is drunk. Yeah, they're popping bottles. They're popping bottles.

They're getting ready to go. Then they're popping fingers. Nurse sharks are bottom dwellers, that's rude, that are mostly harmless to humans, according to National Geographic. They are up to 14 feet long and have very strong jaws filled with thousands of tiny serrated teeth. By the way, this one is big. How can you say that and say it's mostly harmless to humans? By the way, mostly harmless means... That's all I need.

That's all I need to know. There's some harm. Some harm. There's a chance of harm. Mostly harmless, but there's a- So when you say most out of 100%, that's 60, 70, 30% of harm. If we ever do shows in Australia and we're there in the summer, I'd go do this. No, you will not, Dan.

Dan, I will not let you do it. I don't want you to. I would not let you do it. What happens if something happens to your- Look at your finger. You're using all your fingers right now on the computer. Well, I don't know. I'd probably get 10 minutes

a new bit out of this. I'll take you to Kangaroo Island. You guys would get one out of it also, but we'd have the first comedy expert... Dan will let you go into a shark cage. Two different acts are doing the same bit from different perspectives. From different angles. Has that happened? No, no, no. That would be great. That would be amazing.

Have you seen the Sklar's new shark bit? Have you seen Dan's new shark bit? Same bit. Different angles. Different angles. Same story. Oh, that would be funny because your whole angle would be like, we told them to stop. Let me tell you a story about our friend.

It's a real rashamon of a sandwich. It'd be great if we did it in the same show, too. The sharks will bite, no shit, and act defensive if they are stepped on or bothered by divers who assume they're docile. Don't dive and start messing with sharks. By the way, who is assuming that a shark is docile? Hey, got your nose. They love it when you fuck with them. Brunning sustained cuts, a fracture, a torn ligament, and a bad infection from the bite, but did not lose her finger.

It's a shame. She should have lost something. She lost her innocence. The 34-year-old told the West Australian the incident was completely my fault and just a stupid thing to do. That's what I like to hear. She's had an awakening. That's what I like to hear.

Thank goodness. Quote, it's not the shark's fault at all. No, it is not. It is the shark's fault. Is there people being like, that damn shark. Yes. By the way, yes, there was, and I read this whole story, and I might have even sent it to you, but there was an alligator or crocodile that, there was a guy in a village,

I want to say in either Thailand or India, I'm not sure, who I think had to go by and either pick things up out of this marshy area or farm out of this marshy area. It's unclear what he was doing in there. And a crocodile killed him. So the villagers went as a mob with shovels and stuff. Idiots. And they killed like 75 crocodiles

and just laid them all out. What? Like they're a terrorist organization. Yeah, like we gotiles and just laid them all out. What? Like they're a terrorist organization. Yeah. Like we got rid of them. We did it. No, you didn't. So you're right.

There are people who blame the shark. Maybe the crocodiles eat mosquitoes that keep malaria from you. Do you remember the kids in the Hall sketch? Skora, the friendly shark. Don't hate him. He hates himself. Don't blame him. He blames himself.

No, I love that. Oh my God. I love that. He blames himself. It's not the shark's fault, but it could have been a lot worse, she told the paper, adding, I'm not a shark victim. I have full respect for sharks. I think they're incredible.

I have always had the opinion that when you're in the water, they're the top of the food chain. It's their domain. She's really done an about face. Or she's like, don't be mad at me, other shark. She's like, when they read this, they're going to think I was pretty okay. I'm not

going to come off like a dick to the sharks. That's all I care about. Let me put some good quotes in this article. She's really trying to spin it back in real way. Real shark positive. I'm a friend of the community. I swear. I'm shark forward. Very shark forward. That's a story, guys. That's so many.

When I see a story about a woman getting pulled into crocodile and oceanic crocodile infested waters after being bit by a shark she tried to feed, I'm like, that's dumb people. What if someone in their group was like, we didn't get to feed any crocodiles today. Yeah, I'm sad that there's no crocodile involvement in this story. We almost did. Yeah, you almost did. Part of me wanted the shark to be Mark Cuban and have him throw her into like an alligator. Mark Cuban, he's like, look, before I pull you into this water, I'm going to take 2%. I'll take 1% of your body for $10,000.

Once I get that 1% back, I'll give you the rest of your body back. Why isn't there Alligator Tank, which is the place that people who lose on Shark Tank then go to try and sell the ideas that weren't there? We need to ask for this to be edited out, Randy. It's for a couple of people. They're not that successful, but do you think that they might be able to help you out? I'm trying to sell Tackle Box that's got four tiers instead of three. We don't need that. What's your business model?

Don't have one. Take it to the Alligator Tank. Crocodile Tank. Take it to the Alligator Tank. Croile tank. Take it to the alligator tank. Croc tank. Croc tank. Croc tank. Croc tank. And they have to pitch in Crocs. They have to be wearing Crocs when they make videos. Everybody

in the Croc tank. The people who are judging it and the other people. Suits and Crocs. All wearing Crocs. So relaxed, though. Never been more comfortable. Alright, there you go. That's a mini episode. He's Jay Light. Follow him on Twitter. You are at DietJ on Twitter and right. There you go. That's a mini episode. He's Jay Light. Follow him on Twitter. You are? At Diet Jay on Twitter and Instagram.

At Diet Jay. Follow him. Check out. If you do get a chance to, you run the Periscope. But you, for the- One of the best battlers out there. And he's actually going to help us with some running. All right.

Yeah. So this drops this Friday. Yes. And we are going to shoot. It's going to air at the end of the month. We will announce it right now. Jay and I this drops this Friday. Yes. And we are going to shoot, it's going to air at the end of the month. We will announce it right now. Jay and I are going to

roast each other on this season of Comedy Central's Roast Battle. And we're nervous about it. We're very nervous about it. Don't be. But I think

with the help of some fantastic roast writers. That'd be fun. Gonna be fun. And I want to mention this. Randy and I, tonight, are in Schaumburg, Illinois. That's right fun. Gonna be fun. And I want to mention this. Randy and I, tonight,

are in Schaumburg, Illinois. That's right. At the Chicago Improv with our buddy Nate Abshire, one of the best comedians we know. Come out, Chicago townies. Please, Chicago townies. We need your presence

in Schaumburg, Illinois. We have two shows tonight, Friday, two shows Saturday, and one show Sunday. So if you're gone all weekend, come see us on Sunday night at the Schaumburg Improv. The Chicago Improv

in Schaumburg, Illinois. It's our first time doing this club. We'd love to have some positive townie people there. Heck yeah. We'll see you there this weekend. And oh shit,

we gotta get back to work. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. Stick around. Make a sound. Calm your down. It's Dumb People Town.