Dumb People Town - Jessica St. Clair - Fresh Tortillas

Episode Date: March 23, 2021

This week Jessica St. Clair comes to town to hang with Daniel, Jason and Randy. The first story is about a new level of the gorilla glue challenge. The second story is about the greatest job of all time. The final story is about a new way to make tortillas.

Skypains Avenue Hey townies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population U. Population St. Clair. Jessica St. Clair. Oh my God, are we happy to see you. Oh guys, I feel like it's the first day of spring. You know,

I feel like I got a vaccine just seeing you guys. You are the boost. I've got immunity to sadness because I'm seeing you guys. And Dan. And Dan. I know. And Daniel Van Kirk, this is a free space.

We're just going to have fun. We're going to riff with you, which is one of our favorite things in the world to do. I'm like, what new TV show do you have on that? We can like hijack shoehorn our way into. Hey, listen,

we're having a playing house reunion. We'll be there. For this place called Play Per View. And the Custermans, we're not reading your episode, sadly. But we would like. Could they still zoom in from a hot tub, though? Could they still zoom in? No joke.

I have grapes in a Tupperware. I'm ready to go. We are absolutely going to do a video. You're zooming in, whatever it is. Because the fans have been demanding it. Come on. Yes, they love the customers it was so creepy but the greatest thing ever it's like you know when someone is just the best when

they write the perfect thing for you where you're like i don't want to change a thing i don't want to change a word of what is down here it is perfectly written it is perfectly done in the hands of true professionals and you're in our hands today. We say this is the comedy hammock. Just lay back, enjoy. Is that too weird? Is that weird? What you're doing right now, for those of you who can't see,

which is everybody, is lightly cupping the balls of this podcast. Or the tiny bottom. The ass of this podcast. The tiny ass of this podcast. It's too much. So yeah, this is what got Andrew Cuomo in trouble. He was on a show. We never released it.

Well, no, here's the deal. Randy's cupping the tiny ass, and then Dan is going to read a story from the crack. Here we go. So let me ask you this, because again, we have all of us, except for Dan, but maybe Dan too, have like, we've been parenting our kids and we've been trying to get them through school. So our brains are mush. But so we have gotten dumber.

But do you think the world has gotten dumber in this last year? Well, you know, I read a report that said the kids have forgotten how to use cutlery. They're eating with their hands and and they can't read i don't know if you've had to teach your first grader how to read but like i get a daily email from my teacher that's like she's not doing it and i'm like i that's not my job that's on you right yes um but i looked over at bb last night, and I had given her tomato soup, but forgotten a spoon, and she was dipping her finger in it and then sucking her own finger. It was so disturbing. It's a metaphor for America.

Really, I think we need to look at our children and how much we've fucked them up and then understand it's so much worse for us. Because our brains are hardened. They're calcified. Right, but my daughter- They're not getting better. I'm just like, you're going to write backwards sixes for the rest of your life.

I don't give a fuck. We don't care. We don't care. I don't care anymore. People don't know what it is. They'll get it. All right, well, let's try and see. We've got stories of the dumb

and they come to us from our awesome fans. All you got to do is tweet at Daniel Van Kirk and put hashtag dumb people time and it lets them know where it comes in the timeline. And then we give you credit.

Let's jump into a story right now. You ready, friends? Yes. This was sent in by La Asasina. Asasina. She's the assassin. I love her. Asasina.

Dan. There's only two S's. A-S-E-S. You're refusing to pronounce other languages. Asasina. Where are you? You do it. Asasina.

You're the backwards six of language, Dan. Asasina. Asa? Assessina. Where are you? You do it. Assessina. You're the backwards six of language, Dan. Assessina. Assessina. Assessina. Spell it. A-S-S-E A-S-E-S-I-N-A

La La A A-S-S-I-N-A Assessina. That's what I've been saying. Okay, Dan, stop. Just Jessica can't handle

this conversation. Jessica deals with she doesn't need to deal with this, Dan. A Louisiana native. Get your fingers. Okay. Dan, stop. Jessica can't handle this conversation. I don't think I'm wrong. Jessica deals with this. She doesn't need to deal with this, Dan. A Louisiana native. Get your fingers out of the soup, Dan. Has a message. It works. And you save time on doing dishes.

You actually do. You're right. That's right. No more Subware. We're done. A Louisiana native has a message for anyone who wants to try the Gorilla Glue Challenge. Now, you know what the Gorilla Glue Challenge is, right? No, I don't. There is no Gorilla Glue Challenge. Right. There is no Gorilla Glue Challenge. Now, you know what the Gorilla Glue Challenge is, right? No, I don't.

First of all, there is no Gorilla Glue Challenge. Right, there is no Gorilla Glue Challenge. So a woman... We've created a culture where if somebody does something dumb and wrong, people are like, oh, is that the challenge? No, no. That's a mistake. A woman didn't do it to like...

That's what it should be called, the Gorilla Glue Mistake. Mistake. The Gorilla Glue Mistake. Miss app. Anytime Gorilla Glue comes out, it's a mistake. If you have something in your house that if you leave the cap off it, it will turn into a rock. You should not be putting it anywhere near your skin.

We've all ripped off pieces of skin on our fingers. How many times have you had to break two fingers apart and you're like, oh, you know what? Now I can't open my computer with my fingerprint anymore. Right. I'm done. I don't have a finger. I can commit a crime.

I don't have a fingerprint. Did you hear about what happened with the woman in the Gorilla Glue? No. Let me I'm done. I don't have a finger. I can commit a crime. I don't have a finger. Did you hear about what happened with the woman in the Gorilla Glue? No. Let me fill you in. So the woman, there was a woman Did you guys talk about it? Yeah, we touched on it. There was a woman who... She had a hair product called Got To Be Glued with of course a 2 and just a B.

It's a very popular line of hair care product. She wants her hair to look like it's super stay in place. Pulled back really tight, got to be glued. And she ran out of it. She ran out of it. And so what she did was she really leaned into the word glue and she sprayed Gorilla Glue on her hair.

Now, her head was in place for a long period. Her hair was in place. Her hair was a helmet. She released the first video showing it to people and you could tell that she was not feeling great about it. And then she released the first video showing it to people and you could tell that she was not feeling great about it and then she released a second video shortly thereafter where she was emotional and

scared and very scared as she should be. I mean it was a literal like she like polyurethane right breaks like you could christen a ship off her head now why why and this is how really stupid America is, why was her first response, I got to film this?

I got to get, like, there's so many people to call, poison control, guerrilla group, 1-800, you know, whatever it is. Yeah, it wasn't, it does feel like it was like, check this out. But it was more of a like, guys, this is what. I don't know what to do. So what happened was people set up a GoFundMe page, or she set up a GoFundMe page and wound up making a lot of money. But what happened was a plastic surgeon in Beverly Hills said,

I come to fly out to LA, and I will treat this thing out of your head. Because she went to the ER. They couldn't do anything. ER couldn't do anything. What? It ended up being a nice thing. Like everyone on Twitter was so nice to her. Except for us. That's very sweet.

No, we weren't mean. We were just like, we actually blame got to be glued. We're like, if you're, you can't have the name got to be glued and not expect people. You should never be glued. You should never have hair that's glued. How about stay in place? That's like a good name for it. Got to look put together.

You can still put a two for together. Got to look together. Got to show you tried. Got to show you tried. But then like Gorilla Glue issued a statement, which essentially said like, our heart goes out to this woman. But also in the statement,

they were like, please don't put glue in your hair. It's glue.'s glue that's on her that is on her it's just that's it was not when i when i was in sixth grade i had a bob haircut that looked like a bicycle helmet like you know one of those aerodynamic like they wear wear in the Tour de France. And I'm not sure why I did this, but you know how like when there's overspill of kids, they put them in a trailer? Like, you know what I mean? Like this nice public school. So then I was hot on the old blacktop and I decided to take some refuge under the shade of one of those trailers underneath it. Like you were a stray dog in Alabama.

That's right. I got up. This is a new jersey i got up i slammed my head against the and i i got an like a yarmulke of tar of hot this is why this is honestly why i'm a comedian one of the many reasons i also at this time in my life had what is known as a dead front tooth oh i had a dead tooth i had a false tooth when i was two it wasn't false my friend it was a brownish tooth it looked like i had a shit stain on my tooth my parents never fixed it again all my jewish friends had perfect teeth yeah um dr kozlowski like i'm sure gave a heads up to my mom like let's fix this that's fine i don't have time yeah anyway i went to the i went to the school nurse and she gave me a bottle of rubbing alcohol like of like nail polish remover and said

see what you can do and so i put it on and it hardened it even worse of course it did tarry amica and to this day i don't know how my mother got it out but like at one point i was They put it on and it hardened it even worse. Of course it did. Tarayamaca. And to this day, I don't know how my mother got it out, but at one point I was like, I'm going to have to go full. What's that show where she's in the Hasidic community and they're shaving her head? Oh, Unorthodox. Unorthodox. Unorthodox.

I was going to have to go full Unorthodox on this bitch. Aren't those White Stripes lyrics? Yeah. Dead Tooth and a Tarayamaca. Dead Tooth and a Tarayamaca Dead Tooth and a Tar Yamaka. Cause you know I'm not alone. So Jessica, you're saying you took the Tar Head Challenge. That's my challenge.

I didn't choose it. I didn't choose it. Life chose it for me so that I can eventually have a career in comedy. 100%. You did wind up raising $740 for ALS, which I thought was amazing with it. That was an incredible... At that young age,

at that young age to have such a thought, you know, for other people. The poor young you to get up with that thing. So that's the backstory of this story. Should I read the second sentence? Yes. A Louisiana native, I'll reread the first,

has a message for anyone who wants to try the Gorilla Glue Challenge. Not a challenge. Not a challenge. Don't do it. Oh, okay. In an exclusive interview, as though this person is highly sought after, Len Martin said he did the challenge to prove that the viral video scene with Tessica Brown. Tessica Brown. No. Tess seen with Tessica Brown.

Tessica Brown. I love Tessica. Tessica Brown. Tessica? That's the woman who glued her hair. Yeah, that's the woman who glued her hair. Which, by the way, I think that should be the name of like a pink Tesla. A Tessica.

Do you have the new Tessica? Yeah, I do. Tessica Brown. You know, I will say this, that the gears stick a little bit. That's horrible. He wanted to prove that the viral video scene with Tessica Brown, who sprayed Gorilla Glue adhesive in her hair, I can do this, was not as serious as she made it seem.

So he was out to say this woman's overreacting. She's lying. Right, yeah. Just like a man to tell a woman she's on her period and she's turned into a crazy liar martin this is a weird aside that i do not understand and they do not give context for martin that's lynn was seen on dr oz's show in 2020 discussing his experience engaging in the ice cream challenge and the consequences he faced i don't know what the ice cream challenge is. The consequences could be highly

pornographic or very mild and the consequences he faced but said he did not want to send out a bad message by doing these challenges. They're not challenges, right? I don't even know what the ice cream challenge is. It's like someone slips and falls in a

manhole and you're like, well, I had to do the man. I bet it's like I a gallon of ice cream. That is the actual storyline of Soul. I know. He watched Soul and was like, I got to go do the manhole challenge. I got to do the Jamie Foxx manhole challenge. Here we go. What is the ice cream challenge?

I don't know what it is. Do you think you just eat a gallon of ice cream? Jessica, what would it be in your mind? Which is called the getting broken up with challenge. Listen, I try to take the ice cream challenge every night. Every night. The ice cream challenge is not eating ice cream. That's the ice cream challenge.

It's in your refrigerator. You try not to eat it. I have lied to my seven-year-old and said, you know what? I left it out. She's like, where's that ice cream? Where's that? That was like three quarters full. I'd only had one scoop. And I'm like, I left it out. Like she's like, where's that ice cream? Where's that? That was like three quarters full. I'd only had one scoop

and I'm like, I left it out and it melted because I'm eating it over the trash can like a fucking animal. Oh, I've pulled it out of the trash can.

Like a raccoon. I have too. I pulled it out of the goddamn trash can. I'm like, it's still good. What's wrong with us? Everything.

Everything. But that's the ice cream challenge. Well, Len Martin, for some reason, was on Dr. Oz talking about the ice cream challenge and the consequences he faced. for some reason, was on Dr. Oz talking about the ice cream challenge and the consequences he faced. No idea.

I don't even know what that means. Maybe one of the consequences was having to go on Dr. Oz. Come on, man. Dr. Oz has a lot of things to address. We met him. Randy and I did the show. We did the show. We were on set in New York.

We did a documentary about poop, and we were on the- What? And then here was the best moment of the show. All leading a documentary about poop and we were on the, just, just, and then here was the best moment of the show. All leading up to the show, all of his producers, they call this and they're like, he is a riot.

He is hysterical. He's so fun. You just get him going and you won't believe how funny he is. Right. We get on the show and he is sticking to the thing. So specifically we're like, can we get off of this thing and the whole thing was he he was supposed to take these fake fake poop like things they look like poop but they were fake and put them in water and we were going to guess like what they meant or if it was going to sink or it was going to float based on how it looked how much fat was in it how much

fat was in it and so so, but as he was doing it, he was like quick to say this is not real poop, but he was doing it with rubber gloves on. And so I made a joke. I was like, I think it's funny that these are not real poops, but you're using rubber gloves. And he froze

and did not know what to say or improvise. It was worse than not even a yes and. It was like I ground the show to a halt. And there's like 40 people in the audience. And I was like, poop, man. Isn't that crazy? Like, Rand and I just were like, we don't know what to say.

He really is a riot. I traumatized him. That is the best. He'll go with anything. First of all, I find live television to be terrifying. And Lennon and I co-hosted the Today Show. We were called to do that with Kathie Lee and Hoda. And we were so bad.

And I would tell you that I was the bad one. Because Kathie Lee had to be like, it's your line. Like, I was just staring. And they have not only not asked us back, they have scrubbed the internet of our performance. I have to find it. We got to find it. We got to find it. It would be like, da-da-da-da-da-da.. I have to find it. We gotta find it. We gotta find it.

It would be like, and I'm just like this. Lennon was like, have you never performed before? What is wrong with you? I didn't know. There's so many cameras. You know what you did?

You did the Dr. Oz challenge, which is just to freeze when someone asks you something. All right, so this guy's on Dr. Oz. He went on Dr. Oz. He went on Dr. Oz. He said he did not want to send out a bad message by doing these challenges that aren't challenges. Quote, everyone is on social media.

Every day there's a new challenge, but I did not think it would go this far. You did it. Martin says he created the challenge. Still not a challenge. He's like, I can't believe what people will do. So this is what I did. Right. After the already viral

video of another Louisiana native, that would be Tessica, who used the adhesive in her hair. In a Facebook video, Martin says that he believed he could glue a red solo cup to his lip with Gorilla Glue and then lick it off. No! Like he's in

the Christmas story. Yes. No. There is video of him doing this, putting it onto it. Let's show it. Okay, we can bring it up. It's just a short little clip of him taking this red Solo clip.

Watch your computer. And it is interesting that the word is Solo, because this is a man who will spend the rest of his life alone. This is a man who seems fitting. If that's the challenge. He's going to do the die alone challenge. If that's the challenge. Here we go.

Oh, no. Okay, so here he goes. He's got Gorilla Glue. He's lining the rim. I like his hat. I like his hat. Well, he took the cool hat challenge. And he won the cool hat challenge.

Okay. No, don't do it. And then he puts it on his mouth. Okay. Nope. I know. Oh, my God. As you can see,

now I'm going to, I have a pick for you guys. Jessica's like. You have to tell people, like, if you go on a date after that and someone's like, what happened to your lip? You have to say, like,

a dog mauled me. Yeah, you got to make it up. I never admit to that. You got to be like Jessica. I took the dog maul challenge. Yes. I took the dog. Found a nasty looking dog and I let it bite my lips. You got to let it up. I never admit to that. You got to make it up. I took the dog mall challenge. Yes. I took the dog. Found a nasty looking dog and let it bite my face.

You got to let it bite your lips. You got to be like Jessica talking to her daughter about where the ice cream went. That's right. You got to be live. It's just a basket of lies. We raised $600 for tinnitus. So Martin had to go to the ER. And here's a photo of him at the ER.

He looks. Oh my God. He looks like a snowman he does look like a snowman or he looks like uh like a from the like a toy for a toy story because the cup is coming straight out from his face like nose top lip area i wish he had tried to get the mask over the cup as well i also love that they have to operate somewhere near his face and he still won't take off the hat. Or turn it to the back. I mean, there's like a brim making it difficult.

What in the world could the doctor be showing him right now? X-rays? Yeah, something. Signing a release. We're definitely not going to be able to get this off. My brother, my little brother is a doctor and and makes my parents a lot prouder of him than me but they uh he had to work in the er in the west village and he every night would be like you don't know what came in in somebody's asshole well hey we do this every year we do it every year. Oh, you do?

We do an episode of what did we put in our body in 2020. Things that got stuck. I mean, it's insane. And what the best was a jar of salsa picante. Oh, God.

Old El Paso had been put up there. And this guy couldn't pass the Old El Paso. That's why I needed someone to go up there and grab it. And this happened where? New York. The best village of New York City.

Okay, okay, never mind. Oh, no. Dan, when a joke is coming, give me a signal so I know when to laugh. Did you freeze up like Dan was Hoda Kotb? It's Kotb. It's Kotb. It's Kotb. It's Kotb.

Martin described what the doctor did as a painful, there's a quote, a painful peeling from the solo cup from his face. Stop using medical terms. Yeah. The Louisiana native was told that if it doesn't heal correctly, the tip of his lip. Just the tip.

Will have to be taken off via surgery. Martin says. Is this the surgery challenge? Ready for this? This guy's an idiot. Martin says. Is this the surgery challenge? Ready for this? This guy's an idiot. Martin says, quote, this is not the challenge you want to try. Because it's not a challenge. Because it's not a challenge.

I mean, if one person does something stupid, that's not a challenge. They need to put that in the dictionary. Also, just a good rule for life. Never be the second person to do the stupid thing. That's it. If you're the first, you have some sort of deniability about what you knew was going to happen. Say what you will about Adam Carolla.

He did make the best observation ever about the, about a Steven Seagal movie. When the second guy, like one guy gets his like arm thrown over a pool table. And then the second guy who comes up and is like, Oh, big karate guy. Like the second guy. Did you not just see what happened? He threw a guy over the pool table. And then the second guy who comes up and is like, oh, big karate guy. Like the second guy. Did you not just see what happened? He just threw

a guy over the pool table. Oh, big karate guy. You're going to break. Your arm's going to be broken. Gorilla Glue concurs with Martin. Do not try this with an exclamation point. This is a quote from them. They released a statement that said, our spray adhesives in the warning label says, do

not swallow. Do not get an eyes on skin or on clothing. But they didn't say hair. They just said hair. Or lips. It is used for craft, home, auto, or office projects to mount things to surfaces such as paper, cardboard, wood, laminate, or fabric. Or shells that can hold 80 pounds.

Yeah, right. Lens message to everyone regarding this challenge and people in the public, do not try this. Right. No shit. That's it. That's story number one. Yeah, that's crazy.

Just the thing about that is that now glue companies, where they never had to before, like Gorilla Glue's biggest concern was, how are we going to eat into that rubber cement market? Like how are we going to Crazy Glue. How are we going to get some of that Crazy Glue share? Now there probably is a whole department of people

that are like, you need to tell people not to put this on them. Right. Like a legal team. I could understand if someone's like, I'm going to do that hard hat challenge where like, you know, like you've seen like in crazy glue.

The guy puts the thing on at the construction site he's like 50 i can understand that and he you know perishes from that but that's still that's on that and that is on and that is on crazy glue in a commercial that's on you that's right that's my number one thing is like how much you have to people were saying in both of these like oh well they're gonna get sued and it's like they're gonna have to put a warning i'm like there already is a warning and the fact that you have to go so far in this country like that was it's not this entire country because that was one of the things i loved when i went to hawaii where like you will find a trail down to a beach and there just be a sign be like number of people who have died and ripped currents here and and then there's no

railing you get down everything that's on you literally. Literally, when I went to Kauai, I was like, I kind of feel like the motto is don't be an idiot. We're not going to babysit you. Just don't be an idiot. Right, but also never get in the ocean in Kauai. Never. I thought the same thing. I was like, I will never put a toe into this ocean because it is the water of death.

It is water of death. You got to take the Kauai Ocean Challenge. It's amazing. No, don't. Do not do it. According to Len Martin. All right, that's our first story down in the books. Jessica St. Clair is with us.

We're going to talk to her about stuff she's got going on on the other side of this break. This is Dumb People Town. Don't go anywhere. Stick around. Make a sound. There's more Dumb People Town. Hey, guys.

Welcome back. Welcome black back. Welcome back. We're back in black. ACDC style on this episode. Welcome black back. Welcome back. Back in black. ACDC style on this episode. Hey guys, welcome back to the show. We are so psyched to have our guest here before we get into what she's doing.

Want to remind you of a couple of things we got going on. I think this drops before we do our show. Yes, it does. We're doing a standup show and live cheap seats. Now what's the order? Do you know? So we do standup and then cheap seats. And I think guys the order? Do you know? So do stand-up and then cheap seats at the end. And I think, guys, I found the clip. And Dan,

you will be so excited that the clip that we're going to be cheap seating and making fun of is Michael Jordan playing basketball against both Charlie and Martin Sheen. That's great. Commentated by Dick Van Patten. If that doesn't get you to want to come see the show, we are going to rip it

a new asshole. Someone injures his West Wing, folks. It's like an apocalypse now. You want to watch this with us. It's so many jokes. It's so much fun. So that's March 20th, Saturday night. Go to eventbrite.com. No, we're a comedy club.

You can watch it from your home. We got Saturday night plans. And then we announced who is our next live Dumb People Town. Those who were at the Jack Black Open Mike Eagle one, it was crazy and fun. And there was such a great audience there for that. Coming up on April 10th, Ryan Sickler, one of this show's favorite guests.

The Honeydum. The Honeydum. He does a great podcast called The Honeydew where you just tell the worst stories. It's basically what we've been doing in this thing, telling stories about us screwing up and whatnot. And the number one thing for people to realize is you've got to be there if you want to experience it.

That's right. You will not be dropping in the feed. So coming out with us. And the Cactus Blossoms, which are like an unbelievable band out of Minneapolis. They're going to be there. That's April 10th. Again, eventbrite.com.

And then Dan's got a bunch of great stuff coming up too. I do. On the 19th, doing Pub Trivia Night. It's just a fun night of trivia, and you can win games have a good time and then on the 27th live pen pals with rory scoville and i and that's going to be a great time as well all that stuff's at danielvancurk.com plus bingo all right uh jessica what's going on where can people are we whomping it up still what's happening we're gonna whomp it up um now that i figured out how to use the microphone yeah you sound good we're gonna okay good thank you um i have a new podcast coming out with june diane rayfield so funny please the deep dive and we're going to be talking about periods we're going to be talking about how

women love chocolate yeah you know all of that kind of stuff i only want to hear it from you guys exactly um i would like to say it's equal parts you know a deep soul exploration with a lot of our closest friends and talking about the kind of shit we'd like to shoot in our faces as soon as uh people let us back into doctor's office yeah that'll be on earwolf but um i think it's going to be out at the end of April. The deep dive. Deep dive. The deep dive. And what else?

Oh, well, I'm going to be shooting the second season of Avenue 5 at the end of the summer. It will be two years since we shot the first season. Wow. Wow. We kept trying to get over there, and then good old COVID ruined our plans. So these are from the producers who did Veep. This is in space. It is so great.

You are fantastic on it. So is our lovely friend Susie Nakamura. Oh, my God. Susie. So much great comedy. You know, Susie and I took tap dance lessons with some very elderly people in Hampstead, London, every Saturday morning. Did you guys? That's so fun.

And you're shooting it over there. You're shooting it across the pond. Yeah, we're going to shoot it over there. So who knows? You never really know what's going to happen in this world. But I'm going to say we're going to be there. And it's going to be great. You are going to be there.

They are going to figure it out. And it's amazing. Yeah, seeing you on that show, I was like, oh, yeah, they did it right. Any show that grabs you and just puts you on it, they're lucky. Amen. Come on, man. Yeah, but I'm really looking forward to getting out of the house. I really need to get out of here.

Yeah, you need to get out of here right now. You got to do the get out of the house challenge. I feel like I'm in prison. I really, really do. Get out of the house challenge. Like, take a shower, get out of the house. Get away from your family challenge. You brushed your hair today. And I want i want to say everyone even your neighbors are like

thank you so i really are no my my daughter is just like i think it's upsetting you make me take a bath every day but you don't right and i'm like i know mommy are you going to the golden globes no i'm just doing dumb people town let me just just brush my hair. Let me brush my damn hair. Should we jump into a second story? Let's do it. Let's do it. All right. Here we go.

This was sent in by Carleen McDermott at SheBeCarleen. Great name. Great handle. Lover. Here's the headline. She sends in a lot of stories, Jessica. Man paid to do nothing. Man paid to do nothing.

All right. A man who is... I just saw the story. I was like, how? This is so dumb. This is perfect for dumb people on how do we get how do any of us get this job all right wait ran what am i thinking of right now man paid to do nothing yeah so i'll tell you what i'm thinking of i'm thinking of our friends in guys we fucked there was okay so our friends i'm thinking corinne fisher and christina and christina hutchinson they did when on an episode that we were on of Okay, so our friends, Corinne Fisher and Christina Hutchinson,

they did, on an episode that we were on of their show, or maybe it was another one I was listening to about it, there was a woman. Sex worker. Sex worker who had the best job ever. She would just, guys would call her, and she would just not talk to them. She'd ignore them.

She'd ignore them. She got paid to ignore them. She got paid to ignore them. She got paid to ignore them. On the phone. On the phone. So like executives of Fortune 500 companies, guys who, and it was dudes who mostly had people just cower to them

and have to basically literally suck up to them. They paid top dollars. She would make thousands of dollars per hour to answer the phone and not talk she would put the phone on do cleaning around her house eventually pick it back up and not talk and then they'd say okay well i'm gonna get off and she wouldn't say anything and they're like okay i'm now gonna get off the phone see because those are two different things sure but and then like i'm gonna get off and that was it i'm like how do we get that job that's a great job i had a friend who

was trying to put himself through grad school and he was walking down the streets of chicago and a a man approached him and said i will pay you for your dirty socks i just send them to me at this p.o box yeah and so he would get like 25 a sock or whatever it was and at the time that sounds like too little it sounds like too little and too much at the same time girl in college who had a whole underwear selling ring going on that she would sell and ship for other girls and then they would all like divvy up the money are you all right so i just gave jay larson hilarious comedian jay larson him i give him a lot of old clothes from my daughter because his daughter's a few years younger.

And so my wife had a big bag of old clothes that she was like, take this out and give this away or we're going to throw it out or give it away. I'm like, no, no, no, we'll give it to Jay. I'll give it to Jay. And so I throw it in the back of my car and we went and did a shoot with him for the golf channel. And I was like, I got clothes for you.

And so he comes to my car, he takes the clothes. And then like like two days later i get a voicemail from him and he's like it's the funniest voicemail he's like listen jay i gotta talk to you uh i don't know if we've gotten closer or something there was some there was some used underwear in there so i don't know if you're saying i've got we've got the kind of relationship where you can give me used underwear or is this the kind of thing where you're like, I don't think that much of Larson and his daughter. I'm going to give him my used underwear. He was being so funny.

It was killing me. And I was like, oh no, no, no. My wife just probably dumped the clothes in there and we didn't check. And I didn't check it. That's a real fuck you. If you want to, like, I've often thought like, who, who are we going to be fading out COVID style? Like, or who's fading us out?

Like there are people you are never going to hear from again. Totally. They're the salad bars of your life. It's not going to exist after this, right? Wow. That's going to be in your coffee table book of wisdom. Witten wisdom. Thank you.

But yeah, that's a really good way to ensure you'll never hear from someone again. I have a bunch of rolled up candies. Because he enjoyed giving me a lecture on it. And I said, you killed me with that. But yeah, that's a really good way to ensure you'll never hear from someone again. Oh, I'm sorry. Except for him. Because he enjoyed giving me a lecture on it. And I said, you killed me with that. I'm so happy I teed you up. That's the only reason I did it. So this guy is getting paid to do nothing. Right.

For a man who is upfront about his limited skill set, earns money doing nothing. He leaned into it. For the past two years, Soji Morimoto has been advertising himself as a person who can eat and drink and give simple feedback but nothing more. I don't know the guy, but I'm just going to say that is Soji Morimoto.

Okay. Good heavens, Mr. Morimoto. Good heavens, Mr. Morimoto. You're beautiful. The Tokyo Man has been inundated. Inundated. With more than how many requests from people desperate to hire him.

How many people do you guys think have hit this guy up? Okay. Saying, you do nothing. How many requests has he got? I'll hire you to do the goods. Jessica, what do you think? But to give feedback on what? Nothing. Nothing. We'll break into it, but goods. But to give feedback on what? Nothing.

We'll break into it, but it's literally nothing. Like watching somebody eat, hanging out with their dog, going for a walk, just being on the other end of the line, sitting at the table while they eat dinner. And does he talk? We'll break into it all down. We'll break into it all down. How many requests?

You know the same thing they know. This guy offers absolutely nothing. How many people do you think set up? I would like to hire you. I don't know. 500? 500 people. Jay, what do you think?

I'm going to say 1,000. Okay. I'm going to say 1,500. Okay. He's swimming in requests. Okay. The Tokyo Man has been inundated with more than three thousand requests of people desperate to hire him desperate to begin with.

He provided his rent a person who does nothing services for free, but he now charges how much per request. Do you want it in yen? I do have it in yen, but I would like it in American. I saw Dan and was I saw you on the internet. I didn't see the number, but okay. So this is per hour? No, per request.

Per request. Jessica, what do you think? $50. Yeah, I think it has to be low. I think it has to be like just low enough that someone's like, I would try this. I would say 40 bucks. I'm going to say it's like a cameo 75 75 also pro tip to everybody we love don't get your cameos through the app do it online you're saving yourself money you guys know that no yeah you're saving what do

you mean don't get your cameo it's five dollars more if you get a cameo via the app and then because you did it through the app apple takes up to 15 from the person giving a cameo via the app, and then because you did it through the app, Apple takes up to $15 from the person giving the cameo, all because it just went. It's like some through like new API or something. Do it online. Do it online. It still comes to us and it still goes through cameo. And they'll get charged less money.

I love it. Okay. Everybody wins. If you want my underwear, I will ship it out and I'm going to pay the shipping. That's right. I'm going to pay the shipping and handling. That's nice.

Next day. She's the next day heiress. There we go. That's Clark Brothers. By the way, that's what I would call the woman who ships out her underwear, and she does it so you get it the next day. The next day. Also, she is the daughter of an oil magnet.

She is on Lifetime, the next day heiress. If I wrote that movie and you starred as the next day heiress. Done. You and Ashley Judd. She's your best friend. Go. I'm dying to do one of those Lifetime movies. Me too.

It's one of my dreams. Lifetime or Hallmark? Hallmark or Lifetime? No, I want you to do one of those Lifetime movies. Me too. It's one of my dreams. I want you to play. Lifetime or Hallmark? Hallmark or Lifetime? No, I want you to do a Christmas movie, like a Hallmark Christmas movie. I wrote a full treatment for a Christmas movie. Can she be the star of it? Of course.

And I want Jessica St. Clair to just play it the whole way straight. I want to work in a cookie shop. You know, I want to work in a cookie shop and I fall asleep on Christmas Eve and I wake up. And then if it's a Lifetime movie, like a gorilla rips my face off

and I have to learn how to speak and walk again. But if it's a Hallmark movie, you see that same old guy at the end and he gives you a wink. Yeah. He gives you a wink and then you use both hands. Both hands.

What are you two going for? Both hands to close your eyes so you can wink back. Because they're open in a perpetual state of shock. At the moment of impact from the gorilla, they froze. Anyway, all right. I've got the worst name for this movie ever. Go for it. Nope, I can't do it.

Come on. I can't do it. Come on. I can't do it. Come on, Rand. Get it. Chocolate Chimp. Chocolate Chimp? Chocolate Chimp. Oh, come on.

All right. A very special Chocolate Chimp holiday. Right. He charges $96 a request. $96? He's getting about 100. It's 10,000 yen. Wow. God, that's so much. I thought it would be way

yeah, it's around ninety six close to a hundred. He gets asked to do so. She gets asked to do a variety of things. Sometimes he takes part in video game sessions online if a group of friends are lacking a player on other occasions. He has accompanied people filing for divorce

and provided a send off to people who are moving home. Like, he'll just wave at you as you leave. Well, should we get someone to wave at us? Yes. You should. You can. He's candid about what he offers. Quote, during the services, I accompany my customers

on whatever they need me for, he told Vice. There's also like, this is just the GFE. This is like the girlfriend experience. Like, you're just paying for somebody to like... Sit in the car while I walk in here. I answered their questions, listen to them nod when needed. It was a little embarrassing in the beginning, but I got used to it over time. His ordinary, his ordinary, it was embarrassing for him. He set this business up. No one was like, Hey, so you got to go set this thing up. And he's like, he's the one who developed. And by the way, this is not a hard business for him

to teach other people how to do. So this is like, who's that guy? I'm training him in. Look at this picture. Sorry, he's shadowing me like it all started. He's shadowing me. Right. Look at this picture.

I have a picture. But he's doing nothing. Exactly. Look at this picture of him and a dog. You assume he's just watching someone else's dog. Oh, my God. He was hired by the dog. Right. I love this guy. him and a dog. You assume he's just watching someone else's dog. Oh, my God. He was hired by the dog. I love this guy.

To stroke his neck. I love this guy. This guy is a genius. There's a kid I know who, a friend of a friend's son, who the teacher called and said, hey, I have some concerns about your internet connection because every time i try to ask max a question it says reloading the guy the kid had changed his screen name to reloading

dot dot dot that's hilarious and the father said that kid's a genius you can stop you're in give him an a give him an a give him exactly so he'll play video games with people he's candid about what he offers he says during the services I accompany my customers on whatever they need me for. I answer their questions, listen and nod. He also, his ordinary set of skills have seen him end up in unusual circumstances, as well as like the anti Liam Neeson.

Yeah, accompanying someone. His movie is called Taker. Take her. I don't care. Go ahead and take it as well as accompanying someone on a helicopter ride to Disneyland. So ahead and take it. As well as accompanying someone on a helicopter ride to Disneyland. What?

Soji has... That's exciting enough. You don't need Soji along for the ride. He also listened to a cheater confess their adulterous ways. Well, that makes sense. This is like the scene in Crimes and Misdemeanors when we could watch Woody Allen's movies. He also went to a hospital to spend time with someone

who had attempted suicide. This runs the of like what he's doing for people one 36 year old writer has rented soji out on at least 10 occasions when she met a man she was interested in for the first time he was at her side having already provided a listening ear so she also went with her on an undercover visit to a woman's adult entertainment establishment for her job. That's great. So I guess she was like interviewing to be a stripper. Living the dream. This guy is living a dream.

This is a TV show, though. Like every episode. This is like Quantum Leap in real time. Like he's joining people in their life. You better write this. You better write this, Dan. You better freaking write this. Write it before someone else does.

He's like a secret shopper. He listened to me. This is the same person I think is the boyfriend and the adult entertainment establishment. Quote, this is the customer. He listened to me without shaming me

about going to the adult entertainment shop, the writer told Meichi. Yeah, because he's great. He just waits till he leaves to shame you. Isn't that what we all want? Just want someone to just listen. Don't give me your judgment don't give me your input just listen to me i feel it felt like it felt supportive just to have him by my side without forcing his opinions on me well you gotta pay extra for that this is what everyone wants you want to be able to barf

gift for your wife do you know what i mean on valentine's day a birthday you say i don't want to listen to your shit but i got got you this guy, Soji. I got you an Asian man to listen to you. Now, please, just let him do his job. When you're done saying whatever you say, and I honestly don't give a shit what you say, when you're done, he's going to say what you need to hear. That sucks.

That really sucks. I'd pay good money for that. Right? For Soji, who has how many followers on Twitter do you think this guy has? This is going to depress me. This is going to depress me. God knows it's more than me. His only thing he offers is I'll do nothing.

I'll do nothing. We sadly got out to a great start on Twitter, and we've just been receding like the dead sea. Like a hairline. Like a hairline. Like our hairlines. Like our hairlines in the dead sea. We a hairline. Like a hairline. Like our hairlines. Like our hairlines in the dead sea. We're just receding back.

Isn't Twitter going to be over soon? Probably. I'm waiting it out. I don't want to even get too committed. Right. I like a good, like, we use it for an occasional good Jewish space laser joke. But beyond that, I don't know. I think the slogan for a Jewish space laser is,

I'm not going to pay a lot for this laser. That should be their thing. All right. How many followers? How many followers do you think he's got? 50,000. 50,000. Jay, what do you think?

I think he's got 100,000. 100,000 from Jason. I think, yeah. I was going to say 96,000 because he's $96. For Soji, who has 270,70,000. God damn it. I'm quitting. I'm quitting my life. Are you kidding me? He found his vacation after failing to fit into the publishing world

and now he offers simple support. When someone is trying to do something, I think the best thing to do is to help lower the bar for them by staying at their side, he explained. What's the dumb New York Post pun headline for this guy? Oh, God. I'd be terrible at this.

Yeah. I don't know. I'm never good at this. I have a good one. Then you should say to give it. I would definitely assume that the New York Post would be mad that this guy is making money doing a job that's nothing. They're always angry. They're angry about everything. So they would probably call it Drek support.

There you go. That works. That's a good one. Yes. I like that. That's pretty good. That's a good. That's maybe too good for you.

I've got another photo of Shoji. He's adorable, by the way. Yeah, I love him. Shoji. He's adorable. He is adorable. His ears are actually on the bigger side. I know.

He looks like a video game character by the name of Iko. Shoji don't tell-ji. There you go. I'm going to ask you guys. Sojintel? How old do you think Shoji Morimoto is? This is not good. You're looking at him.

This is a dangerous question. He tried to be a writer. That didn't work out. He's got 270,000 followers on Twitter. This is a dangerous question. This guy, he has to weigh between 120 and 130. That's my goal weight. Soji is my goal weight.

It's mine too. Mine too. I feel like I ate a Soji during pandemic, and that's what I'm carrying around in extra Soji. I feel like I ate a Soji, and now I'm sitting around doing nothing. This picture of him that people will be able to see on the Facebook, I want to know what he's being told because it does not seem good.

It's like, wait, I can't. What do you mean I can't walk in there with these pants on? No, but I mean like he's at one of his things, and he's like with the person who's like they got dumped or they're confessing their sins to him. So then I decided to put Gorilla Glue on a Solo cup and stick it on my lip. That seems like that must be hard. He can't stop. That's the other thing is I'm

sure there are things that go on that he wants to stop. Do you know what the dumbest thing about that guy in the cup? He could have put Gorilla Glue on anything and then went to lick it off. He could have put it on a table and then be like, I'm going to go lick. But he glued it

to himself and thought, I'll lick it. I'll lick it off of myself. The cup's better because trying to bring a table to the hospital is a pain in the ass. So how old do you think he is? I think he's 31. 31 years old. He literally, I'm not joking, could be 24 or 48. I don't.

What do you think? I think he's 24. 24 years old from Jason. I think he's 39. And I just from Jason. I think he's 39. And I just think we're going to all be like, I can't believe this guy's 39. Okay. I will tell you guys, one of you is two years off. Okay.

So that's fun. Feel good about that. Then 37. We'll end story number two by telling you that Shoji, the man who will do nothing, but help you with everything. Shoji, the man who will do nothing, but help you with everything. Shoji, the man who will do nothing does sound like a kid's book. It's true. It's the Dr. Seuss book that they didn't cancel. And it's the murders you helped

commit along the way. By the way, they didn't cancel. I mean, Seuss' estate. Let's get that clear. Also, by the way, didn't stop all of LAUSD was celebrating Dr. Seuss as if he was his next coming. Yes, number one. This is what I was telling people on an email chain who were like, I can't believe they're canceling.

This is what's going on. I was like, Jay and I do stand-up comedy. There are jokes that we told 20 years ago that I don't think hold up well, and I just wouldn't tell it. I'm so much happier that I don't have to. Yeah, because you evolve. All right, you ready for this shoji yep is 37 years old oh my god i was so right adjustment i made the adjustment and i was right there okay we're gonna take a break and we have one last story left before that patreon fans

we're gonna talk to uh jessica st clair about some playing house moments because it is, if you don't know the show, get up on that show. Get up on that show, my brother. It is so much fun. We're just going to talk about Brad Morris. We're going to talk about that stuff with the great and wonderful Jessica St. Clair right after this. Stick around. Look us down.

Four more. Don't people town. Guys. Guys, let's do some shout outs. Shall we? It's that it's that time of year again. By that, I mean it's that week again. It's that episode again time. It's at that time of time. We get to say thanks to people who support us.

They are the true believers. They're the real people who make up this town that we are speaking to week in and week out. So here we go. Ready? Yes. This out the gate. I am challenged here. Peter and Andrzejewski. Andrzejewski. He's got Jew in the name.

I love him. Andrzejewski. It's amazing to me the names that got changed to Ellis Island and the names that didn't get changed to Ellis Island. Nope. We're going to make this more difficult. Right. I love it. Thank you so much, Peter. Alex Gutierrez. Thank you, buddy. Yes. Thank you, Alex. And then would you say Anna Dees?

Diaz. Diaz. Diaz. Diaz. I've never seen it. It's Dizee. Dizee. Which sounds cool. Dizee.

It's a little Dizee. Remember Hyzee? Wasn't that the name with the Justin Marneau show? Oh, we did have it. Yeah. Hyzee. Hyzee. Hyzee. Hyzee show? Oh, we did have it. Yeah. Heisey? Heisey. Heisey. Yeah.

By the way, Heisey sounds like a really good carpet. I've got some Heisey carpet. Or a kid's drink. We also have a true local by the name of Rebecca. Thank you, Rebecca. Pillar of the community, Donnell Johnson. Thank you, Donnell. Donnell Johnson.

Appreciate you, Donnell Johnson. Do you go Donnell or Donnell? Might be Donnell. Donnell? Might be Donnell. Donnell Johnson? I you donnell donnell johnson yes now do you go donnell or donnell might be donnell donnell might be donnell johnson i think it's donnell uh this next person i've seen this name for years they've been around carrie dugan carrie dugan i love you carrie dugan carrie dugan returns alex storch who actually delivers baby a lot of people don't know that they deliver babies when he shows up at a party, everyone's like, Storch! Super tall, and he always throws beer. Oh, it was Storch from Animal House, right?

Storch. Next one, we have Chris Murphy. Chris Murphy. Chris Murphy. Could be a senator from Connecticut. Not University of Connecticut. Come on, Jesus. Donald or Danelle Johnson's a pillar of community, if I didn't say that.

Tim S. Root is a true local the root of all positivity exactly not the root of all evil I want to know what that S is Steven and then here's one ready I'm going to try Bruce

Howtallin Howtall and is Bruce I think he's about 6'2 Jay remember Bruce who we met in Salt Lake City The guy was like 6'7 He was our comfort giraffe It could be hoodling How tall and

There's no telling How tall and Bruce is And then the next one is a townie Who sounds like a character from a Christmas movie from the 60s, Lanny Sasser. Lanny Sasser. Little Lanny Sasser. Did she graduate from college? She did. At age 14.

Chelsea Cox. Hey, Chelsea Cox. Thank you so much. Another true local. Tess Rothery. Dude, the Rothery. I have a Rothery IRA. Do you have a Rothery IRA? I'm going to save my money for when I get older. They do not pull taxes out of it ever. Okay.

If this is real, God bless it. Haters are going to say it's fake. J. Soda Pop Parker. J. Soda Pop Parker was a 40-40 player. I was going to say he was like the greatest Negro Leagues left fielder ever. J. Soda Pop Parker. Yes. With Satchel B.

He played with Satchel B. He's the only guy who threw a ball at Satchel B. Satchel B. Satchel B. Satchel B. Satchel B. Satchel B. Satchel B. Satchel B. Satchel B. Satchel B. Satchel B. Satchel B. Satchel B. Satchel B. Satchel B. Satchel B. Satchel B. Satchel B. Satchel B. Satchel B. Satchel B. Satchel B. Satchel B. Satchel B. Satchel B. Satchel B. Satchel B. Satchel B. Satchel B. Satchel B. Satchel B. Satchel B. Satchel B. Satchel B. Satchel B. Satchel B. Satchel B. Satchel played with Satchel Paige. He's the only guy who threw a ball at Satchel Paige's head. Sarah Oliver. Sarah. Love it. It's like she, her name is her and another person hanging out together. Sarah and Oliver. Sarah and Oliver also sounds like a Beverly Hills

restaurant that you've only heard about. Have you been to Sarah and Oliver? Best chopped salad this side of the Mississippi. So my neighbor who I love, the mom's name is sarah and the son's name is oliver there they are boom uh colleen shambo yeah shambo shambo shambo on the road to shambola thanks colleen another townie jesse cunningham jesse That's Happy Days, right? Jesse C. Mr. C. Elizabeth. Very cool name.

Or Mrs. C. We don't know. Elizabeth Rabaska. Rabaska. Rabaska. I put a little Rabaska sauce on this, so it's going to get hot. It's going to get hot. Just be careful. I put a little Rabaska.

Did you put too much on? Don't put too much on. I try not to. It also sounds like a name for a type of sword. First, you're going to take the Rabaska. Unsheath your Rabaska sword. Hold it into the light. Catherine Bryan. Thank you, Catherine Bryan.

Thank you, true local. Sarah Oliver and Catherine Bryan. We've got first name, first name. First name, men's name. Female name, men's name. True local she is. Founding mother slash father. Founding parent of the town, Carrie Engelstad. Engelstad. Engelstad was the catcher on Engelstad. Engelstad was the

catcher on Engelstad Humperdinck and Engelstad was the catcher from Bad News Bears. Correct. A couple more of these. Alfred Day. Townie. Pillar of the community, Jordan Freeman. Jordan Freeman. We are all Freeman. Jake Englehart. Englehart,

no relation to Carrie Engelstad, but they did go to high school together. They be friends. Englehart and Engel... By no relation to Carrie Engelstad. But they did go to high school together. Can they be friends? Englehart and Engel... By the way, heart to heart could have been Englehart and Engelstad. One more. Yes. Pillar of the community.

Two more. I want to do two more. Okay, good. The next one is Mark Stem. Mark Stem. I've been doing a lot of Stem cell research. Mark Stem research. Mark Stem research. That's a pillar of the community a lot of Stem cell research. Mark Stem research. Mark Stem research.

That's a pillar of the community. And then one more pillar of the community, Scott Beastman. Scott Beastman is our actual friend. He was our goalie on our soccer team in high school. The Beast. Wait, is this the bit? No, for real. Straight up true.

I love Scott Beastman so much. He grew up in St. Louis with us. He lives in Madison. He's a pillar of the community. He lives in Madison, Wisconsin. He's got a house painting business. He paints houses. He listens to this podcast.

Whoa, you mean like the Irishman paints houses or really paints houses? He paints the Indian. Because in the Irishman, it means you shoot people. No, no, no. He doesn't paint walls like that. He actually paints houses. But his parents, okay, so the last time, right before we left for the, when we were in Madison, right before. Last time a year ago. The last time right before we left for the uh when we were in madison right last time a year ago we went with his parents who live in madison wisconsin to the like the

madison club the badger club badger club which is like that and we went with them and they took us out to lunch i love scott biesman so much dude thank you so much for being a pillow community thank you so much for listening to this thank you for being our friend thank you dude thanks for being our friend for so long all right there, there's some names. Let's get back to the show. All right, Daniel, final story. Let's bring us here. We go sent in by law. It's stop it.

We'll take it. It's that MMA at the end on Twitter. Here we go. Ready woman accused of this is a short little dumbass story. I love an accused of using sex toy to make homemade tortillas. All right. What?

I know. Accused by who? Aren't those called, aren't those called flautas? Tortillas don't usually stir up controversy, but here we are. A woman named Peggy. Who did accuse her?

Here we are. Facebook. But here we are. Facebook. But here we are. It's like the author of the article. The journalist is now in the pickle with this person. Right. You know, they don't normally do, but here we are.

I got to get us out of this one again. A woman named Peggy from San Antonio, Texas, so close to King of the Hill, advertised online that she was selling homemade tortillas for 15 bucks. She included a photo of the tortillas being made on a cutting board along with what appears to be a sex toy. A small vibrating egg. In a

text exchange. The mouse. In a text exchange with a prospective buyer. The rabbit. Tracy's dog. Perspective buyer Peggy insists the item is a vibrating rolling pin as the photo went viral back scratcher peggy kept insisting that the item in the photo is a vibrating rolling pin which many said peggy that doesn't exist not well she's not sticking it in her vagina and then making the love. It's also not a vibrating rolling pin.

She very earnestly thinks, like, no rolling pin I've ever seen comes with a set of balls at the bottom. Oh, yeah, because that's what women need to get off. We need to see a pair of balls. There's nothing more sexy than a pair of loose hanging skin, you know, with a bunch of jelly beans. It's low hanging fruit, guys. It's literally awful. We just can't get enough of those balls., you know, with a bunch of jelly beans. It's low hanging fruit, guys. It's literally off. We just can't get enough of those balls. Are you ready to see the picture?

Okay, I have the picture. Fresh tortillas. That is a dildo. Thank you. That's a dildo. 100%. That's a dildont is what that is. Fresh tortillas.

I'm going to read you guys the comments. She posted this up. You see it right there. Fresh tortillas look a little going to read you guys the comments. She posted this up. You see it right there. Fresh tortillas. Those tortillas look a little too hard. $15. Yeah, those are less tortillas and more gorditos, if you know what I mean.

This person wrote, what I love only more than the fact that she's making tortillas with a sex toy is her ability to stay on that point and not come. She will die on that hill. I'm going to Google right now on Amazon because they have everything. Sure.

We're going to see. Is there a vibrating rolling pin? I ready. It probably is a dildo that you can buy to make it look like you didn't buy a dildo. That's right. It's called the whole enchilada. This is what the person wrote.

This is how you this is what the person wrote on Facebook. You've been rolling them with a dildo. Peggy responds to words rolling pen. I love it. It writes back. Why does your picture have a dildo in it? Then Peggy only an uncultured

swine would not see that it's a vibrating rolling pin that I sometimes sit on and then the person says that's called a vibrating rolling pin. That I sometimes sit on. And then the person says that's called a dildo to which Peggy digs in even deeper and says it's called a vibrating rolling pin.

That's not what it is. No. It's called the anal intruder. Let's be honest. It doesn't exist by the way. There is no such thing on Amazon. It's a vibrating rolling pin. And if Amazon doesn't have it, it doesn't exist. Well, so let's even talk from a-

It should be called a- Strictly from a baking perspective. Right. As far as rolling pins go, I don't think you want them to be bouncing and vibrating. No. You want it to be as smooth as possible, right? Am I wrong?

All women want it to be as smooth as possible. We don't ever want bouncing. We don't want it. Like making tortillas, all women just want it to be over quickly. That's right. And they just want to occasionally flip it over once and that's all you need. So true.

Get a little bit hot and then flip it over. All women want it. Flip it over, roll it up and then we're done. And then get back to your Better Homes and Gardens magazine. Thank you. Crack it open. Women want. Flip it over, roll it up, and then we're done. And then get back to your Better Homes and Gardens magazine. Thank you. Crack it open. Thank you. Crack open a fresh one.

I just, I love how much she was, I think she should call, literally lean into it, just like our second story guy leaned into doing nothing, and she should just call them sex toy Tias. That's perfect. There it is. If you made sex toy Tias's and mixed it all together, I think people would be like, I'd try it.

Yeah. Maybe a little bit. I think we should all think about what is our biggest fault? You know, what is the thing that we're most ashamed of and let's turn it into a business. That's right. That's not a bad idea.

That is a great idea. And I hope you go into that on your new podcast called the deep dive. The deep dive. We're at, we're going to have to have you guys on. We'll do. I will deep dive with you. You know, you say anything, be here for this thing. We will be there for the rest of your life.

Jay and I wrote a movie, and we need to rewrite it, but it was about Twinsburg, Ohio, about this thing. And we wrote this movie, and we wrote in two characters. Our love interests were you and Lennon. And you guys are fraternal twins. Let's do it. You guys are fraternal twins.

We gotta work on it. You guys play fraternal twins. Anyway, we gotta get into it. But you are the best. Thank you for doing this with us. I love you guys. Good luck. Keep brushing your hair.

It's working. Guys, it's really working for everybody, isn't it? It's working. All right, this will be the last. I'm gonna do my own not taking a shower challenge. And this will be the last shower I take for 2021. All right, fine.

Do it. We support it 100% because we love you. And oh, shit, guys, we got to get back to work. Dum, dum, dum, dum. Dum, dum, dum, dum. Dum, dum, dum, dum. Dum, dum, dum, dum. Dum, dum, dum, dum. dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb