Dumb People Town - Jimmy Pardo - Mile Thigh Emporium

Episode Date: November 21, 2017

This week, comedian and podcaster Jimmy Pardo (Never Not Funny, Playing Games with Jimmy Pardo) visits The Sklars and Daniel Van Kirk in Dumb People Town! Jimmy tells the story of an encounter with a fan, and then in Story #1, we hear all about an ina...

Dan and Ran and Jay will share Tales of folks so unaware They lack in grace and sometimes choose The life they choose will make the news Breaking down each epic fail In Florida there's half-price bail I'm happy to say they Couldn't make this up

So listen to our podcast Dan with co-host Our man Dan And Dirk, don't be a jerk Cause when the music gets the funny So listen to our podcast jam with co-host Armand Dan. Man, jerk, don't be a jerk. Cause when the music gets the funny hits, we are gonna take you down. Stick around, make a sound, punk your downies, Dumb People Town. Hey townies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town.

Population you. Population Pardo this week. That's right. We've got Jimmy Pardo on the show. Someone we love. Someone who is, I think, one of the early adapters in the podcasting world. That was the first podcast we ever did was your podcast. You're welcome. Never Not Funny.

You're welcome. It was fantastic. And that podcast is Never Not Funny. Every time we'd leave the studio, which that was in the valley that you did that. You know, I still do it there. Yeah, we're in the valley. You still do it at this station? You guys have been in the new studio? Been in the new studio, which that was in the Valley that you did that. You know, I still do it there. Yeah, we're in the Valley. You still do it at this. You guys have been in the new studio.

Been in the new studio, but the old studio. I'm talking about the old studio. That was also in the Valley. Right. Also in the Valley. Did that there. Every time we'd leave that space, I always felt better about comedy and felt better about just riffing and the world.

It just was a great experience. Look at your nice positive energy. It's true. It's true. Thank you. Well, that's why we're so excited because you have a new podcast. I do. Thank you for letting me talk about it.

It's called Playing Games with Jimmy Pardo. It is a half-hour podcast interview game show. I love it. It's great fun. We heard way too many people say, I want to turn people on to Never Not Funny, but you guys do two hours, and nobody that doesn't know anything about you or podcasts wants to do that. Right.

hours and nobody that doesn't know anything about you or podcasts wants to do that. Right. So we figured out a way to take Never Not Funny and make it into a format that is digestible. And by the way, you are one of the best game show hosts ever. I mean, match. I don't know why I don't come here more often. Match game at UCB, the old UCB, was one of my favorite things in the world to do. I don't disagree with any of that. You with the tall, thin microphone,

and I'm already sold. I'm sold. But you did Funny Money? Come on, let's talk about it. That's National Lampoon's Funny Money, the game show where big laughs get you big bucks, then get you canceled. Well, we got canceled.

Shows don't last forever. No. And mine don't come anywhere near forever. Thank you. Forever for you would be one season. You know, National Lampoon's funny. Money in the Game Show gets you a big laugh, gets you a big bust, and then gets you canceled. We did, we were picked up for 40, and in the middle of shooting them, they were like, this is the best show we've ever done.

This is on Game Show Network back in 2003. Sure. This is the best. Let's double the order. 80. Might have been 80. Might have been even 96. Like, they might have even gone

crazier than that. And that is really the Game Show Network's biggest downfall is that they're terrible at math. They said, let's double the order, and then made that in another 16. Let's do another 56. But what happened in the meantime, so then, so we're shooting, then it

premieres, and nobody likes it. Nobody likes it. Come on! People don't like their money to behuh. Then it premieres. Yep. And nobody likes it. Okay. Nobody likes it. What? Come on. People don't like their money to be funny. Here's what happens. They like serious money. They're very, the more money, more problem.

Mad money. They like mad money. They love mad money. They like it when the money gets angry. They like that, what's his name? Jim Kramer. Yeah. They love the mad money.

Here's what happens. Game show people hated us because there wasn't enough game. Right. Comedy people didn't know we existed. So all we had were the game show people who hated us. That's not good. There was an exact quote from me. I went to a game show convention once.

Why in the world would you do that? I went to support another person. I didn't think anybody would know who I was or that I existed. So my wife and I walk in to watch this other J. Keith Van Straten, who you guys probably know. Great guy. We went to watch him be part of this convention. You would think that

Bob Eubanks walked in when I walked in. They all turned around like... Because so many sex scandals were thrust against you? No! No? I like the yes and things, but not with that one. Bob Eubanks was... All right, fine.

They all turned... They're like... And then I'm hearing... Jimmy Vardy just walked in. Jimmy Vardy just walked in. So even though these game show nerds hated us, I'm still a game... I'm doing something that they idolize. It's a red record.

But I'm walking out. Let me just finish real quickly. Yeah, finish. Go, please. I'm walking out, and this kid comes up to me, who might have been... This is like 10 years after the show was on, and this was... this kid must have been 19, which means he was nine when he watched Funny Money. He came up to me and he goes, are you Jimmy Pardo?

I go, yes, I am. I love that even though he's 19, you're playing him like he's nine. I'm playing him exactly how he sounded. I don't doubt you. I'm playing him. I don't doubt it. I don't doubt it. And he goes,

he goes, are you the Jimmy Pardo that hosted National Lampoon's Funny Money? Yes, I am. Are you the Jimmy Pardo that hosted National Lampoon's

Funny Money on Game Show Network? Yes, that's me. And he goes, I just wanted to tell you, you did an adequate job hosting a subpar show. Thank you.

You will? Dude, that is, you walk out with your head held high. You can coast on that compliment for a couple days on that one. That's a month of good feeling good. I have a story. Yeah, sure. But my point is, he was nine when he had those. And ten years later, he still felt,

this guy needs to know what I thought about when I was a child. You know, I'm not going to give him the full compliment this guy he was in a Sklar Brothers podcast it wasn't even a bad it was like a side handed compliment it wasn't a back handed compliment

because there was some compliment in there I don't know if there is you know what it was this is like the moment in Good Will Hunting he essentially with his compliment

hugged you and said it's not your fault oh boy it's not your fault so I should weep a little bit or go solve a math problem. Hey, look.

I am so happy you're here because to me, one of the things that I love the most about you and you are instrumental in that you hosted the show the night we recorded our second album at UCB, which was the night that my second daughter, Georgia, was born. You're intertwined with us. The reason we did it is because you were so fast, are so fast and so funny that we're not suffer fools. You don't suffer fools lightly. True.

Which are all the things that are basically, you put it in a pot and it's what you mix it up and it's a wonderful, the soup that makes this show great. This is, of course, dumb people tell the world is getting dumber as we know it. It's just even in the moments that we heard the story of you being an adequate host on a subpar show, the world just got a little bit dumber. Yeah. The oceans are rising

and getting hotter, world getting dumber. So we have our dumb ears on the ground. They find great stories. They send them to the wonderful Daniel Van Kirk. We don't know him.

We've never heard the stories just like Jimmy. Dan knows him. He's going to break him down for us. Should we get into one? Yes, let's do one. I don't know Daniel.

I don't know anything that's happening right now this is sent in by Glenn Chavez at Chavez Ravine yep no

just listen everything that Glenn Chavez has done for the migrant worker is can we raise it a little bit higher thank you very much

Glenn Chavez day my kids get off school at Zigsby T-ZZ-Y-G-S-P-Y-T-Z. Nothing complicated about that. Perfect. That guy doesn't want anybody following him. No.

It's like people who deliberately get confusing license plates. Hey, just in case I'm ever involved, you know, I ding somebody and want to keep driving. They won't be able to remember what was the 2, what was the S, and what was the 5. It's designed to scramble you. Yeah, they do like 2S5, 2, 2S5, and you're like, I can't remember what that was. He's an adequate guy on Twitter with a subpar name. Subpar name. Was that real logic?

Do people really do that with their license plate? Like, that's their reasoning? They get a license plate that confuses people? Yeah, I had a buddy in high school who was like, my dad always told me. I'm like, well, it was nice you had one. And he was like, he was like, he said,

yeah, you want to get a license plate that's not easily remembered just in case you need somebody to forget it. Was that guy mobbed up? What is that? I don't know. Who is planning for that moment in their life? Someone who just want to be ready.

I mean, when you do think about it, you never know what you're going to get. If you have a personalized plate, you're making it very easy for people to remember you were the one that cut them off. You were the idiot that didn't see the stop sign. This is the guy who's like, anonymity is key.

You never know when you want to get out. Glenn Chavez. Longmont police say that a man, this is in Colorado, that a man, this is in Colorado, that a man accused of threatening an employee at an adult-themed business on Main Street.

Adult-themed business on Main Street says... Thank you. Thank you. We've been on the road enough to know what that is. Also purchased, this person who threatened someone who threatened somebody at the adult theme shop, also purchased an erotic whip from the business and used it to tamper with

the breaker box of a neighboring auto parts store knocking out the power. What? He goes wild west on the breaker box? He has some sort of an altercation in a porn shop, buys a whip, goes next door to an auto parts store, uses his whip to fuck with the power. The second

he has the altercation, I don't think he should be allowed to buy a whip. Right? Sir, I'm so hot that you're going to get into it with a porn shop employee. Sir, we are not allowed to sell whips to anybody whose blood pressure is over 100. But maybe sales are so slow, they're like, alright, this guy's an a-hole. Give him the whip.

Give him the whip. 30 minutes earlier, he's got a manager breathing down his neck going, move the goddamn whip. Move those whips. Get out of here, jagoff. You're a jagoff. You want me to come around? Yeah, come around. You leave.

You leave. I work here. Can I buy a whip? Yes. You've got to move the whip. You want the leather? You want the polyester? But after you buy this whip, you've got to go.

Do they make polyester whips? Of course they do. They do. Rayon? Yes. Sure. They make corduroy whips? Of course they do. Rayon? Yes. Sure. They make corduroy whips. So he's a regular Wyatt Earp. Like, I'm taking out, he doesn't want his fingerprints on the box.

Didn't Indiana Jones have a, did he? Yeah, that was his big thing. He did a lot of whip work. Like, that was his thing. You know who else did Mapplethorpe? Robert? Whip work. Like, that was his thing. You know who else did Mapplethorpe? Mapplethorpe. Robert. Aren't there photographs of people with whips up their asses in his photographic gallery? Yes.

Definitely. Yes. Yes. Right? But he himself didn't have it. James? He had the whip. He supplied the props.

Does he clean the whip post-picture? I would imagine he puts a little Purell on there. What do you put on the end of a whip that's been up somewhere? You put a Purell on a whip. Well, you put KY to put it up there. Yeah, that's to get it up. And then you Purell it to take it out. Yeah. I imagine that leather, or you put a the end of a whip that's been up somewhere? You put a Purell on a whip. Well, you put KY to put it up there, and then you Purell it to take it out. I imagine that leather,

or you put a little bit of that Leatherman. You gotta work that, you know what I mean? You gotta do some sort of condition it. What do you use on the car? I can't think of it. Turtle wax. No, no, inside car, leather. Armorall. Yeah, Armorall on the whip. Do you Armorall the whip after it's been up someone's ass? Why wouldn't you?

Clean it up and make it nice smelling. Jason and Jimmy playing some form of the $10,000 pyramid right there. What can you use inside of a car? Might be my favorite part of this. Dan also knocking it down from the $25,000 pyramid to just the $10,000. I'm going old school. He's going old. It's like, yeah, $10,000 pyramid.

It used to be a $500 pyramid. James? It's kind of a scheme. They got more people involved. It's multi-level, $10,000 pyramid. It used to be a $500 pyramid. James. It's kind of a scheme. They got more people involved. It's multi-level. James Michael Kramer, 33 years old. Oh, boy. I'm just picturing this guy, like, kick me out of it.

Like, next door, just trying to whip a, like, breaker box. Do we have a follow-up on this? Do we know what he did after he broke breaker box? That's a lot of Bs. We're going to get into it. But I wonder if this hits the news, they call him Kramer, and somewhere Michael Richards is like, I'm off the hook. I'm okay.

I'm back to hating ends. Jesus. Just the letter. That's him, not me. Michael Kramer, 33, is charged with felony menacing and misdemeanor criminal mischief and criminal tampering in connection with two incidents on October 9th. Charged with felony menacing and misdemeanor criminal mischief. That's my favorite charge of all. And criminal tampering in connection with two incidents on October 9th. An employee at Naughty But Nice slash Mile High Emporium.

That is the full title of that business. I don't want to tell you your business, but I would have called it Naughty By Nature. I don't want to tell you your business. I would have called it Mile Thigh Empor. I don't want to tell you your business. I'd have called it Mile Thigh Emporium. He had the story in advance. Yes.

I don't care. Very written, Van Curta. That felt in the moment. I barely read these. An employee of Naughty by Nature Naughty by Nice

slash Mile High Emporium 1407 Main Street Added to the Dumb People Town Walker Tour, told police that he found Kramer. So this is the guy who works at Naughty But Nice

slash Mile High Emporium. And I gotta think that at this point where we are in our society, you probably know the names of most of the customers who come in the store. And then when a new guy comes in, you're like, I'm gonna follow this guy. Yeah, because they wanna, if you're in a comes in, you're like, I'm going to follow this guy. Yeah, because they want to. If you're in a sex shop, you want to be in a sex shop.

There's no reason in today's day for you to ever go online. Go online. Not with the internet. Not with the internet. Yeah. You're like in there to hang. Either you have a fear of technology or you're like, let me get in there and talk about some Or maybe you're paying cash because you don't need a paper trail. You don't want a paper trail.

Although you probably could get your like Tarani. What? The Tarani coffee syrups that you pour into your coffee and a whip from Amazon. I don't know what a Tarani coffee is. Tarani? Tarani? I call them Tarani. What?

They're just, they're like the hazelnut vanilla caramel. It's Rony Specter. Right. Just like Rony Specter. And then Tarani. What? They're just, they're like the hazelnut vanilla caramel. It's Rony Spector. Right. Just like Rony said. And then Tarani. And then you pour that into your coffee and you say, I need to refill on those. Sure. I also need some wipes.

I need some SodaStream bottles. Baby wipes, SodaStream bottles, and I'll get the whip too. And I'll get the whip. Well, the employee at Naughty But Nice slash Mile High Emporium at 1407 Main Street told police he found James Michael Kramer tampering with the company van. What the fuck? Why does a sex shop need a company van? You gotta advertise, baby.

You can't just be on Main Street. You gotta bring that thing around the whole city. Taking Main Street to the other streets. He walks outside. around the whole city. Taking Main Street to the other streets. He walks outside. He sees Kramer tampering with the company van from which the windshield wipers

and hubcaps had been removed. Okay. Kramer. Classic Kramer. Does he take them off with the whip? Does he stand like this?

One, one. Hubcap one. Hubcap two. Check it out. Check it out. Hey, check it out. Don't keep walking by. You want to see. Hubcap two. Check it out. Check it out. Hey, check it out. Don't keep walking by. You want to see.

Look at this. By the way, don't you want to see? Yes, I want to see. If a guy... Okay, if you're in Denver doing comedy works, and you're like, I'm taking a walk right now, you're near a guy whipping windshield wipers off a company sex store van. You're there for the afternoon.

I'm signing up for Periscope and I'm using it. Is that even around here? I think it is. I'm signing up for Vine, realizing Vine no longer exists, and then signing up for Periscope and using that. I'd thank the guy for my new opener. By the way, you can assume that maybe the sex van liked it a little bit. Yeah.

It is a sex van. It is a van. He finds him tampering maybe the sex van liked it a little bit. Yeah. It is a sex van. It is a van. He finds him tampering with the company van. The employee told Kramer that he was calling the police and asked Kramer to come inside the business and wait. Why? Which he did. No.

Comes in. With the whip. I'm calling the cops on you. Come inside. Come on in and see our new false elect. He's trying to upsell the guy while he's waiting for the cops. They go around to the whips while they're waiting for the cops on you Come on in and see our new false elect He's trying to upsell the guy While he's waiting for the cops I don't know if you've seen our new butt plugs

Just so you know You're asking me back in You kicked me out I'm not trying to come back in So that guy's a vampire He's just been invited in True blood 101 you don't do it Don't invite him in

If I said to somebody who's obviously on some level a violent person, right? And I'm like, come inside and wait with me. You're inviting the problem in. Yes. That's on me now. It is. Totally on the employee. The goal with violent people.

Whip me once. Shame on you. Whip me twice. Shame on me. The goal is keep your distance. From the whip, of course. Don't bring them into a confined space with you imagine how bad it would hurt to get hit with a whip could you imagine how bad that would hurt

i can't even watch like movies where they whip people i'm like it create i cringe at the sound of it in the side i do this in my stand-up there is an entire chapter in my childhood where me and all my fellow grandkids had whips that we bought ourselves at the flea market in Wisconsin. Totally sanctioned by, no one stopped them from doing it. No one thought this was a bad idea. The state of Wisconsin didn't think it was a bad idea.

My family didn't think it was a bad idea. The kids we whipped didn't even think it was a bad idea. What the F? The guy who sold you the whip didn't think it was a bad idea. He thought it was a great idea. You got the whole grand scheme. We all had, I've been hit by whips. What the fuck is happening? I don't know why.

It's Wisconsin for you. They don't care. What part of Wisconsin? An hour north of Madison. A little town. That Wisconsin does? In Princeton. Yeah, go a little bit farther.

I don't want to. I thought of the Dells. Don't stop at the Dells. You're missing Yeah, go a little bit farther. I don't want to. I stopped at the Dells. I got some fun. Don't stop at the Dells. You're missing too much. I see those ducks. Isn't it car or boat? I took my grandma on the duck. I took my grandma on the ducks two summers ago.

Really? Then you whipped her ass. I go, get in! Get in! Get in! Grandma said, I liked it, but the guy talked too much. Yeah. It's a tour.

I know. She didn't know. I know. She didn't know. I know. She didn't like all the talking. We had a great time. Sometimes things are meant to be seen,

Then we went to Ho-Chunk Casino and Ponderosa that day. Boy, I used to love Ponderosa. Wasn't it good? It was. Ponderosa was good.

Was it though? No, it wasn't. $6 steak. Texas toast. I loved it. Me too. Hey, love it. There's still one

in Wisconsin. Great croutons. Great croutons at the Salad Bar. They got an ice crouton at the meal. They got an ice crouton. I would go shells and nacho cheese. I think they probably got the croutons from Pepper cellar. They got a nice crouton at the meal. They got a nice crouton. I would go shells and nacho cheese.

They probably got the croutons from Pepperidge Farm. Yeah. All right. Those guys remember. They were herbed. Someday I'll tell you guys a Ponderosa story when we have the time. Please. It was an altercation.

Oh, God. Oh, boy. Two years ago. Okay. Two years ago. I thought it was going to be from her childhood. No, no. I was a grown man.

That's when you wish you had the one. Dan, do you want to open that can of worms and not share? Okay. Can you break it down shortly? Grandma and I went on the ducks. Oh, Christ. It's the same episode. Yes.

Then we go to Ponderosa. Well, before or after we went to Ho-Chunk Casino. I can't remember. And I walk in. Is that racist? No. Ho-Chunk? Ho-Chunk?

Ho-Chunk. It's the name of the casino. Yeah. I thought that's like an anti-Asian. No. Okay, fine. You too. All right, sorry.

I thought Ho-chunk is a fat Asian. I'm sorry. No. Now it's offensive. Now it's offensive. A moment ago, it wasn't. So the Ho-chunkman trail? All right, go.

Idiot. Walk in. It's literally like $6 for an entreeree and then you get the full buffet as well upon the restaurant right and i hadn't eaten all day so i decided i was gonna order i go i'll order a steak and then also order the shrimp and the guy goes because you had twelve dollars exactly right the guy goes in your pocket next to the whip the guy goes you can't do that what and i said no man i'm telling you i'm placing two orders and then he goes well what about her to my grandma and i go yeah she'll order as well well that's three entrees there's only two

of you and then you can't get more of the buffet i go just give i will or i'm ordering i'm not gonna i don't need the other buffet i'm just telling you i would like shrimp with my low grade steak can you make that and's like, but if there's two of you, you don't need I can already see this being a problem. If I want to order the entire menu, I'm going to do it. I look at my grandma and she

goes, this one. And I go, and he's like, I'm trying to tell you you can't have more than one buffet. I go, it wouldn't matter if I bought three buffets. I'm still only one person eating it. I will only be having one buffet because it's all you can eat. This guy's the worst businessman in the world.

Unreal. It went on for too long. Unbelievable. The manager had to come over, and the manager was like, just put it in the shrimp dinner if he wants it. What do we care? Dan doesn't love it when a guy goes outside of his area and jurisdiction to make the wrong call. Yes. He totally for it if you make the right call.

Wrong call. But who would like it if they made it? Not a single person. No, but some people would accept it. Some people would just go, okay, fine. All right, so he's invited him in after he sees him damaging the hubcaps, and now he's waiting for the cops, and he's checking out whips. When the employee in Kramer entered the business, police allege that Kramer grabbed a garden hoe the business uses to scrape ice off the pavement. Was that from the Ho-Chunk Casino?

No. Although garden hoe at a sex shop may be something different. Totally. That's who you bang around with. It's a flower bed. That's a garden hoe. They use to scrape ice off the pavement.

Just get an ice scraper. I've never heard of anybody doing that. Shovel? Shovel ice scraper? Yeah, like something like a... All right, garden hoe, fine. Fantastic. Used ice off the pavement, then took a swing at the employee.

Which I say, of course they did. You invited them into your place. If he doesn't take a swing at the employee, I think that's an opportunity. You gave him access to a garden hoe. This is what's going to happen. Also, again, it's a sex shop, so what kind of swing did he take at him? One of these that you're hanging. Sure, yeah.

It's a sex swing. I've lost interest in my own joke. Kramer fled the scene. Kramer took off? Yes. Kramer's out. With the hoe? A short time later, police received a call from an employee at O'Reilly Auto Parts.

O'Reilly Auto Parts. O'Reilly Auto Parts. Received a call from an employee at O'Reilly Auto Parts on Main Street, 1417, who said that someone had just jammed a, here it is, someone had just jammed a British fantasy series metal beaded flogger into the business's breaker box, knocking out power to the business. Why? Why do you want to knock out, I guess, to rob the place? I'm going to show you guys a picture of this whip.

I want to know how the guy knew that that's what the guy... Oh, it was the tag on it? The tag's still on it. Oh. Look at it. You were right. So that's one of those little... And that handle is made to on it? The tag's still on it. Oh. Look at it. You were right. So that's one of those little... And that handle is made to be inserted.

Yeah, you put that up... It's metal beaded. Metal beaded. You move that up, you can give yourself a tail. That's right. Yeah. Metal beaded and the whip is not a long Indiana Jones whip, but it's a lot of little... Or a snively whiplash.

It's a flogger. It's a flogger. It almost looks like a feather duster would be a nice way to... A French maid. If someone went to a car wash and said, let me just take a few of these things that go up your windshield off and I'm going to now stick... I'm going to stick that up my ass.

He jammed that into a circuit breaker. Who knows why? This guy's just pissed. Kramer's got trouble. He's from the get-go. He's got car trouble. He's the type of guy who angrily whispers to himself, I'll show you. To know about no one and for no one.

He has definitely said to many people every day, gonna tell me and then the rest of the time. Gonna tell me no one said you anything. Tell me I can't take hubcaps off. No, no one said you can't. You probably shouldn't. You probably shouldn't.

Technically, you shouldn't. You're called to say stop, but nobody's walking around telling you here's something you can't do. Tell me I can't ruin a circuit breaker. Yeah. No one told you you can't ruin a circuit breaker, but don't do it. Longmont Power Communications responded to O'Reilly's and removed the whip. Further investigation revealed Kramer had purchased the whip on the same day as the alleged incidents. So he was in the store

early, bought the whip, went outside, started messing with the car, come back in here and wait, I'm going to swing a garden hoe, and then I'm going to take out an O'Reilly auto part. And not all these things are on him. Everything after the van, they've kind of like brought him into the world. Yeah. You look at a guy messing with a van and you don't

tell him to come in. You just call the cops and then you let that sort itself out. Online court records indicate Kramer has convictions for felony assault, felony menacing and felony theft

as well as a misdemeanor convictions for obstruction, false reporting and reckless driving. So he's good at this. Yeah. He currently has two unrelated cases

currently pending in Boulder County Court. Okay. I'm going to ask you guys before we get out. What do you believe is the retail price of the whip?

And yes, you can order this on Amazon. You can go first or last out of the three of us. We guess. Can I ask you a question before we get to the pricing?

Sure. Now, do I have to guess who the dumb person is in this story as well? No, but who do you think it is? I think it's the store employee. Yes, it is. It's not Kramer.

Kramer's the hero. Kramer is on brand. Yes. Kramer is giving you think it's the store employee. Yes, it is. It's not Kramer. Kramer's the hero. Kramer's on brand. Kramer is giving you exactly what you expect from him. He's got two other cases. All right. Because if you're the boss, you are saying to your employee, why the hell did you put Why is he in here? Why is he in here?

By the way, just from a purely game show perspective, it's not about going over. It's closest to it. I'm going to go $49.95. $49.95 for the win. That looked like a high quality beaded whip. That did look like a high quality beaded whip. Randy or Jason? Jay?

Wait, hang on. Was that British style? It was British style. I'll stick with my number. I thought you were going to answer in pounds. What's the pound? Oh, damn it. I wish I would have.

That's $28. F me. I'm so mad at myself. $28. $49.99. I'm mad at myself. I'm going to say $74. $74?

Yeah, I think it's an expensive item. I think you're right. I'm going to say, what did you say? $74? Yeah, I think it's an expensive item. I think you're right. I'm going to say, what did you say, $49? Yeah, I think I went low. I'm going to say $65. $65. Who doesn't say $69? How did we all miss that?

It's a sex shop. It's a great joke. It's a great point. The retail cost. It's a great joke. Hold on a second. Let that just sit in the air here. Jimmy Farno, that's a great joke. Hold on a second. Let that just sit in the air here. Jimmy Farno, that is a great joke.

Well, it's a childlike joke, but I appreciate you giving me some credit. We love that you went. It's the child in you that I love. The British fantasy series metal beaded flogger. Know this. If I lost, I'm walking out of here. Okay. So lie if you have to, Daniel.

Yeah, exactly. I'm walking out of here Okay So lie if you have to Daniel Yeah exactly Has a retail price At Naughty but nice

Slash mile high emporium Of Thirty dollars Yeah you win Jimmy Pardo There he is I got fifty bucks on me I know

I buy a whip I get some gels I'm good to go I get a garden hoe I'm great I'm out of there I'm just taking the hoe Three dollars a swing on the hoe

Three dollars a swing on that hoe. There you go. There you go. There's one story down the way. How many times do you think the manager of that store walked in after this whole thing and made the joke, anybody swing a hoe at you today? Like, you know that. You can't swing a hoe in here without hitting a whip.

A good price. Without hitting a whip. Every day. Every day. Do you invite anybody into the store to try to kill you with anything? Okay, so we're having a good one. A good price. Without hitting a whip. Every day. Every day. Do you invite anybody into the store to try to kill you with anything? Okay, so we're having

a good one. Okay, great. It's a good day. All right, one story down in the books. We're off and running in Dumb People Town. Jimmy Pardo is our guest.

He's got a brand new podcast called... Playing Games with Jimmy Pardo. 30 minutes long. It's bite-sized. It's snackable. You want to check it out. We'll get a little more

information on that right after this break, so stay with us. Stick around. Make a sound. There's snackable. You want to check it out. We'll get a little more information on that right after this break. So stay with us. Stick around. Make a sound. There's more Don't People Town. Hey, guys. Welcome back to the show.

Jimmy Pardo, as we mentioned as we were heading on to the break, the new podcast. Do you have a guest who joins you on your podcast every time? We do. We've had episode one. It's Nikki Glaser. Love her. Love her. Scott Aukerman.

Nice. Christelle Alonzo. Lauren Ash. Nice. Rick Summer. We've had Rick Sutcliffe, the former... Kyle Cudner. Kyle Cudner, great.

And then Zach Galifianakis. Nice. Hey, look at that. So where can people find this amazing thing? On iTunes, obviously. It's available over on Earwolf And of course Apple But never not funny we'll have a link on there

Or just look for playing games with Jimmy Pardo It's a limited run Six episodes Oh shit check that out man Get in get out It's so simple It's your lunch break Love it Dan give us another story This was sent in by Brett Davis Get out. Get in. Get out. It's so simple. It's your lunch break. There you go.

Love it. Dan, give us another story. This was sent in by Brett Davis at where's underscore Brett. Good. Easier. Fair enough. They say the customer is always right. I know.

You can hear the news speak. You can hear it being written in the however but what happens in the case of a florida woman who tossed hot nacho cheese at a 7-eleven clerk melbourne police could not agree disagree more melbourne florida it was around 1 50 a.m thursday when stephanie l hicks walked into a 7-Eleven store in Melbourne to buy a sandwich and a cup of nacho cheese. Your last name is Hicks. You live in Florida. This, we shouldn't expect

this to happen. This is your one shining moment. What do you think the L stands for? Lorraine. Who do you think is Lorraine? Lady. Stephanie Lorraine Hicks. Maybe Lynn. Stephanie Lynn. My lady. Actually, Lady Hicks. Maybe Lynn. Stephanie Lynn. My Lady Hicks are burning that now.

That's, you know, so she didn't want the nacho chips. She just wanted the cheese. Sandwich and a cup of cheese. She's going to dip her sandwich in that cheese? I guess. You don't get more Billy than that. What kind of sandwich? I've got to know what kind of sandwich.

Because if it's ham, a little ham with hot cheese. Yeah, that'll work. A little ham with hot cheese. Ham and some spicy cheese. Tuna salad. Right? Tuna salad. Tuna salad.

Sounds like a... Then it becomes a patty mouthful. This is a woman who has wanted to throw a drink in someone's face for a long time. She's seen it enough in TV and film. She's 36. She's a grandmother. She understands that this is a hard life. She's got a long way to go.

That deserved more than any of these two just gave you. No one. Someone at home laughed. The cashier told, okay, so she comes in. She wants a sandwich

and a cup of cheese. That's all. The cashier told Hicks not to open the cheese dispenser, but the hungry woman ignored her request. I'm going to guess Hicks has ignored

a lot of requests. Sit down. Ma'am. Come back to school. Don't quit here like that. Your son needs you. Pick up these kids. You need to fill the rest of this waiver out.

Put the gun down. Take everything out of your pocket. Oh, that was a good one. Please don't go the wrong. Put the gun down. Take everything out of your pockets. Oh, that was a good one. Please don't go the wrong way up the escalator. Stop. Ma'am, there are children present. Just stop cursing. That garden hoe is for ice shaving.

You cannot take your pants off here. Fine. We are outside. Hicks opened it anyway, and I imagine opened it while not breaking eye contact with the cashier. Yeah. Just like, look at me, do this. But hang on. So she's, just so I'm clear, because I've been to a 7-Eleven just on this very day.

Ooh. When they said, don't open it here. Is he saying don't open the dispenser? Is that what you said? Yeah, I think she's going top in. So she's going top. She's dipping that cup in. Yeah.

She's not. She probably grabbed a big gulp. I'm going to take as much goddamn cheese. You guys don't weigh by the pound, you charge by the cup. We're recording on Halloween. It's a cauldron. It's a cauldron of hot cheese. That's the only way to describe Don't open the top of

the thing. Is he saying I'll get it for you? I know how to do this. He just told her, hey, knock it off. But why wouldn't she just go He just told her, Hey! Hey! Knock it off! But why wouldn't she just go spigot? Why wouldn't she just use it the way that... She wanted that cup. She wants to do the dip.

She wants to do the dip. When I dip, you dip, we dip. Hicks proceeded to open it up anyway and went to pay for her items. Which means, one of her comes back to me, she kept saying, I'm still paying.

Yeah, you can't stop me because I'm right. She had the customer is always right mentality. To be denied service by the employee. This person takes their job very seriously.

It's like a gay man in Indiana trying to eat dinner somewhere. They're allowed to deny you access. I'm going to show you what she looks like. And I'm going to tell you right now, if it's 1.50 in the morning and I'm working at a 7-Eleven

and someone comes in and who looks angry she walks to the door I'm like we're closed yes we're not open you're closing up it's 24 hours you can't care that much as an employee of 7-11 and you should not a franchise you see her you wouldn't you'd be like you have as much cheese as you want just as long as you leave take it oh yeah you gotta get. You got to give her. She just looks angry. It's Crispin Glover. I was going to say, the worst character Crispin Glover's never played. Or the best. Or the best.

It's like if Crispin Glover was an elf, and like, right? She has elf ears. It's hobbit-like, isn't it? She is hobbit. If Crispin Glover was a hobbit. I hate to talk about

someone's appearance. I know, but she looks angry. We're trying to describe who she is. Describe who she is. By the way, you can actually go to the Dumb People Town

Facebook page and become a member of the Facebook page,. By the way, you can actually go to the Dumb People Town Facebook page and become a member of the Facebook page. Like it. And then you can see all these pictures. And you can agree with us. Guys, am I wrong? 1.50 in the morning, she comes strolling in. She can have as much cheese as she wants. I'm not going down this road with her. She can stick the cheese in her giant fucking elephant

ears. I don't care. Again, I'm not going to comment on the appearance. She just looks angry. She looks mad. She looks angry. What do you look like with those ears? Now, Jimmy, you're in. You're in with them.

He will not comment. You're in with them. He will not comment on the appearance. He has drawn a line in the cheese. He will not cross it. He's drawn a line in the ear drum. Can I ask you guys about something she can help? Sure.

How do you ask for that haircut? You say, can I have a center part that's also a side part? So remember the old... What? Randy? Remember how the old guy, the guy who played Alfalfa died at 31? Yeah. I would like his haircut at 33.

There it is. Hey, go on. Is that true? Did he die at 31? 31. He kicked down the door of someone who owed him money, and the guy shot him. Oh, come on. And he had a great role in It's a Wonderful Life.

Look at that. Who was he? He was the guy who's mad that he doesn't get a dance. And his friend comes up and goes, what if I told you that there's a pool under this, Jimmy? What if I told you I have the key to that pool? That kid who's mad is Al Fonsi. Get out of here. Yes, swear.

What a wonderful life he did have. Jimmy Pardo trivia. Never seen the movie. Never seen the movie. Just no desire. Or do I have a desire? It just never has happened. That's Jimmy. 45,000 times it airs a year.

I think that's a movie that you can now watch with your whole family. I think so, too. Your son would love that. It's just a shame that it won't be on this holiday. You know what? Fingers crossed. They play it at the Arclight for Christmas. They play it at the Arclight.

You guys should go see it. You can take the family for that. On the big screen? Yeah. Come on. It's got to go every year. Okay. Guys.

Your son would love it. You don't know anything about my son. I do. I know he likes baseball. No. You don't know anything about my son. I do. I know he likes baseball. No. Not anymore? No, he's out. He's out.

Dodgers aren't that exciting anyway. No, no. I'm saying when he was playing. He is pretty good at the Dodgers. But playing. He used to play. He used to play and then he had a coach that, I'm going to say, ruined the game of baseball for him for the rest of his life.

Yes, we do. No. He had a coach that treated six-year-olds like they should be juniors in high school. No. And it was, to this second, I hate that guy.

Did you come to the game with a picture of you throwing out the first pitch at Comiskey Park? I let him know. I said, I've been on the mound at Comiskey Park.

Comiskey Park, sir. Thank you. Yes, yes. Which they didn't even call it Comiskey Park anymore. Nancy Faust on the, Faust or Fox? Faust.

Nancy Faust. Nancy Faust on the, On the world of, on the, on the, on the... Faust or Fox? Faust. Nancy Faust. Nancy Faust on the... On the world of... On the... Back to Hicks. Yes. So she goes up to pay for her items, only to be denied by the service by the employee.

She took that well, I'm sure. She didn't even skip a beat. Didn't blink. That's when Hicks launched the sandwich and hot nacho cheese across the counter at the clerk. This is like the last scene in Fast and Furious. Hi. It is.

Is it? Then all of a sudden, Judge Reinhold comes out of the office. Or no, Spicoli comes out of the office. It's like, awesome. Hamilton. Oh, yeah. Awesome. Totally.

And that was how they wrote Hamilton. Came out of that. I was about that. Came out of that. As the food traveled through the air. Oh, boy. Wait, there's a time to think about it as it's traveling? Stephanie Hicks yelled, quote, the customer is always right.

No! Not when you're throwing cheese. No. Which, by the way, is the name of our new podcast, Throwing Cheese. Which, by the way, is what Jimmy did when he threw out the first pitch. Yes. Threw a lot of cheese. Threw some hot cheddar.

What they say when you throw heat. Yeah. It wasn't long before the clerk, bathed in yellow cheese, called police according to reports. When deputies arrived, Hicks was arrested, booked into the Brevard County Jail and charged with battery. So she still hung out. She did not leave. She stayed.

That's another story where a person's like, you stay here with me. We're friends now. Why in the world would someone like that stay after throwing cheese? That's a violent act to throw hot cheese. Hot anything at anybody. That's a violent act. Did this gentleman get any sort of burns? No, that's why I like the story.

It just seems like it wasn't that annoying. More of a lukewarm cheese. I'm going to ask you guys. By the way, you know and his manager came by the store and said to him, and that's why we keep the cheese lukewarm for moments like this. You don't want it to be too hot. I think you turn the heat off of everything after one in the morning inside the store.

Yeah. For fear of this happening. Hot dogs aren't even rolling. Nope. Don't even roll the hot dogs. Coffee's cold. Just it is what it is. When you come here, that's on you.

That's on you for coming at one in the morning and expecting something hot. You'll even take down the pretzel rods for fear that they could be used as weapons. Yes. Certainly projectiles. I'm going to ask you guys. You've seen a picture of her. Yes. How old is Stephanie L. Hicks?

Too much fun leaves marks in life. Living hard, you'll pay the price. Who is going to get it right? Guess the price. Who is gonna get it right? Guess the age. Now let me tell you, Jimmy. It's very deceiving in dumb people, Tom. I'm not telling you to go with your gut, but sometimes it's... Are we talking

in human or goblin ears? I'm not gonna comment on this. Ask our brothers. I'm not gonna comment on this. Go to the Facebook page. Check her out. Go to the Facebook page and tell us we're not wrong. Tell me I'm wrong. I want you to figuratively throw a hot cup of cheese in my face if I'm wrong on this. We're not saying that she doesn't

deserve love or happiness or a more peaceful life. She deserves it all. I'm just asking what year. Is she 500 years old in Goblin years or is she a regular age in a human? Life is different in the Shire. I'm recusing myself. I can't even say it. I'm going to recuseire I'm recusing myself recuse

I can't even say it I'm gonna recuse I'm gonna drive back and forth a couple times would you like to go first third or Tig Notaro which is the second spot

she chose to go second between us she was the first person to ever say between us I'm gonna go in the two hole two hole two slot Jay started off

this woman is 32 years old 32 years old she looks like she's 47 50 maybe she's 32 she kind She looks like she's 47, 50, maybe she's 32. She kind of looks like she's 15. She could be 15. I'm going to say, well, is that your guess? I'm in the two hole. All right, you go.

I said 32. 19. Wow. 19. 19. Yeah, I remember that one. 41. But about to die.

Oh. Ready to die. She's like Biggie Smalls. Okay, what'd you say, Jason? I said 32. He said 19. No, no, no, no. 19.

Yeah, I went with a hard casual. Randy says 41. Stephanie L. Hicks is... I'm going to be two for two. Come on, everybody. Play along at home. Get your answers in. Shout out the office.

She is 31 years old. Oh! Jason. I knew it years old. Jason. I knew it. Look at you. I took on the game master. Yeah, you took on the game master. I just hosted.

I'm not doing games. Playing games with Jimmy Pardo. I took on the host of the new hit podcast, Playing Games with Jimmy Pardo. Wait, are you talking about the limited series? I'm talking about the limited series. It's on Earwolf. That you can get on Apple or Earwolf. You just searched Jimmy Pardo playing games.

I mean. Playing games with Jimmy Pardo. You just took him on and beat the guy. It's only a 30-minute podcast, but he is a master of games. And here I am. I walk in and I take him out. You're talking about the podcast that has Zach Galifianakis as a guest on that podcast? Yes.

You can go back and listen to Nikki Glaser, Zach Galifianakis, and other great stars. And you took him on and then won. I went ahead and took him on in a game of chance. And I beat him. I sat here and I still don't believe you. All right, there we go. That's story number two down in the books. Am I right, Dan?

Yes. Story two down in the books. I am not a master. You are. When we come back, when we come back, one final story. What are we in for? Can you tease a little something, Dan? Can you give a little tease through the break?

There's video. There's video. Oh, boy. Another reason to join the Facebook page. Facebook.com slash Don't People Town. We have one more segment with a great Jimmy Pardo and then a little special voicemail. So stick around. Stick around.

Make a sound. There's more Don't People Town. All right, guys. Welcome back to the show. We're in our final segment. How can people follow you on social? You're a good follow on the Twitter. You're a good follow on the damn Twitter. I'm a combination of fun and rage.

Yes! What's going on in our world today. At Jimmy Pardo. Yeah. Follow him. Follow him. At Jimmy Pardo. Follow him and you'll know what it's about.

Are you doing shows? Stand-up shows? I do standing-up comedy from time to time. We can go see you and stuff. We have live playing games coming up as part of the PCAST Blast at the Ace Hotel. Oh, nice. Awesome. Love, love, love.

You know my stand-up? Yeah, I tweet out about stand-up at all times. Okay, great. And Rage at the Whirl. Good man. Really? This one guy specifically. Oh, well, they're who? I don't even know who that was. No, you might know. Call him on Twitter. You're Kramer. It's Kramer. I'm mad at this guy for the world. Good man. Really? This one guy specifically. Yeah. Oh, well, they're who?

I don't even know who that was. No, you might know. Call him on Twitter. Kramer. It's Kramer. I met him. This guy from the

Mile High Check Shop. His kid's old coach. Yeah, it is. It's his kid's old coach. Oh, if I knew that guy's name. All right, Dan, give us our last story.

This was sent in by Sam Slick at V-C-R-Y-L-I-C V-C-R-I-L-I-C Maybe V-C-R-I-L-I-C Shocking video Oh, boy. has emerged P-R-Y-L-I-C. Vekrilic? Maybe Vekrilic. Shocking video has emerged of a naked woman in a bar chasing a customer around a pool table while wielding a cue. Okay.

So she's not really 100% naked. She has a pool cue. And a smile. And a smile. Nothing on but the radio. You're never fully dressed without a pool cue. You're never fully dressed without a pool cue You're never fully dressed without a pool cue I don't know that one That's an old one

Oh brother you're never fully dressed Without a pool cue Is that Annie? That is Annie Was Yakety Sax playing while she chased around the area? In the video filmed earlier this month At a bar in Bellevue, Washington, by a stunned customer, the naked woman shouts at another lady in the bar. So someone stole someone's man. I mean, that's when you get naked and start chasing with a pool cue.

That's a classic dude move to take off the shirt to be like, I don't want this shirt to get in the way. Woman takes off shirt and pants. I'm hoping it's her own pool cue that she pulled out of her vagina. Wait a minute. to take off the shirt to be like, I don't want this shirt to get in the way. Woman takes off shirt and pants. I'm hoping it's her own pool cue that she pulled out of her vagina. Wait a minute, what, the Mapplethorpe again? Two different...

What's the Mapplethorpe? It was one of those things that came in two parts and then she takes it out. It's in the way that she used it. She then approaches... Oh, my least favorite

artist of all time. The woman. Eric Clapton. Eric Clapton's your least favorite artist of all time. He bores the hell out of me. Really? He's got five songs I love and the rest of them is just a bunch of Z's coming out of all time. The woman. Eric Clapton. Eric Clapton's your least favorite artist. He bores the hell out of me. Really? He's got five songs I love and the rest

of them is just a bunch of Z's coming out of my speakers. She then approaches the woman and seizes a pool cue she is holding, chasing the woman around the pool with it. It's not clear what triggered the outburst, but the woman is heard

to shout, do you see any damn pills, several times. So it's possible she was insulted by the woman before the camera started rolling. Do you see any damn pills is someone says, you're taking too many pills. You see any damn pills? No, because you took them all. You took them all. The answer to that.

The answer is no. Do you see? Look at that. Oh, here them all. You took them all. The answer to that. Do you see? Look at this. Oh, here we go. She got, wow. She is naked. She's running around. Listen, home.

The cue is in hand. The cue is in hand. She is chasing this person around the bar. She is literally chasing her around. Completely naked. And she throws it down. And everyone just kind of cleared out. And then she walks over.

This is the start part that's sad. And then she walks over. She chases the guy or woman. I think it's a guy. They say woman in the story. I think it's a woman. Wait, here's the sad part. Ready?

Picks up her clothes. You got to pick up your clothes. That's a sad moment. The dismount is always the hard part. Yeah, because it's like, it's a lot of bits, like three or four bends. Keep watching. Keep watching. Oh, wow. You're going to see my favorite person, and it's a guy of bits, like three or four bends. Keep watching. Keep watching.

You're going to see my favorite person, and it's a guy who refused to move the whole time. Wait for him. There he is. He's just standing there. She had to pick up her clothes, and she had to pick up her pills. You standing there, pills? When you pick the ones up off the floor. I see them now that you picked them up. Now that they're there, yeah, I do.

When you take off all your clothes, there's no pills. No pills. Why did she take all her clothes off? I don't know. And they were all taken off right there. Right there. Hang on. I'm going to kick your ass.

Sock on this goddamn sock. She tried to take her pants off first with the shoes still on. Then had to stop. Now she's trying to walk out of the pants with the shoes still on. And she's stuck. And now you're in a bad situation. It's very hard to get out of. In this day and age when you can...

I mean, in the 70s, that's just a great story. That probably happened all the time in the 70s. No one knew about it. That bar is like, I'm going to there. Remember when the lady... Remember when Jenny was arguing about the pills and took off her clothes? I love this place. Let's go back.

Let's go back and play pool there. Maybe it'll happen again. This is a new story. This becomes... This is one of those... It should not be videotaped. I don't disagree with that. Yeah.

This should be a private vacuum moment. Throughout the video, there is considerable amount of shouting and yelling as people who go to the Facebook page can hear. Where the person taking this video just keeps saying over and over, what the fuck is happening? She just keeps saying it over and over and over, every time with a whole new sense of wonder. So that's a guy who doesn't know this woman.

Yeah, this is a shocking moment. For everyone who knows this woman, no one would be saying what the fuck is happening. There's Barb. Don't give her the cue! I told you this was going to happen. Don't give her the cue. Don't give her the cue. I told you this was going to happen. Don't bring out the pills. Do not bring out the pills.

Whatever you do. That will set her off. Barb. I got some Mad Dog 2020 over here. Barb. Pills is her trigger word. You know, you got to let her. You can't throw that out there and not expect to see some nakedness.

Eventually, the video ends with the woman picking up her clothes from the floor, as we saw, and walking to a nearby bathroom to get changed. Why not just put your clothes back on right there? At this point, who needs the discreet nature of a bathroom? I'm the privacy police. I mean this in the most positive and self-affirming way. Are we sure this isn't an episode of Girls? It could be.

Because there's a lot of nakedness in that show, and this just could have been like a deleted scene you know they're at a hipster bar get argument it's a naked argument too which why it's like so perfect for dumb people town did i mention police once in that story no no they didn't even nope never even called someone's like no one got hit right there was no victim except for the person who sold her the pills. And maybe the people who saw her. Did you see any pills? I didn't see any pills. You didn't see any pills.

Well, the other thing is when it's a guy naked, it becomes a menacing situation. When it's a woman naked, let's stand back and watch. And by the way, she was pretty menacing. She was pretty menacing. She had that pool cue like she was menacing. But you heard all of us gutturally. We all went, ooh. The thing is, the woman that she was chasing around-

Which might have been a guy. Which might have been a guy. Started to engage with her for a second. Yeah, but then like- A little handsy. But in my opinion, wasn't walking fast enough. No. I felt like that person was like far too cavalier with the fact that she was being chased.

Which means it's not their first fight. That's right. Because he or she didn't think they were going to get hit. Which means it's not their first fight. That's right. Because he or she didn't think they were going to get hit. Do you think when Barb came back out dressed in bedazzled jeans and whatever top she was wearing, the bartender just disapproved and was like, you done now? Because your drink's right here.

Yeah. Are you done? Did you get out of your system? I'm not going to hold a seat for you every time if that's how it's going to be. All I want to know was, did you see any damn pills? Did anybody see any damn pills? Did anybody see any damn pills? Did anybody? Don't make me do it again.

Here we go. Barb, Barb, Barb. Her sleeve is out. There's now one sleeve out. Barb, Barb, Barb. Sounds like I saw pills. I saw pills. Barb, put the sleeve back in.

There's like eight people going, Barb, put it back in. I just want to say that I saw pills. No, it's not. Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Barb, Barb. Why do you keep taunting her? She's unbuckling.

Barb. All right, fine. Can I have a pizza delivered to the bar? Sure. Do you want pills on top of that? No!

Teasing her. God damn it. Dude, you rack her up like this, of course she goes all over the place. He will. Somebody just, everybody, everybody,

Barb, you specifically take a chill pill. Get it off! Barb, don't listen to these assholes, okay? Come here. This guy's just being a pill. What do you want? You want some Jager?

You want Jager? What do you want? You want some Jager? You want some Jager, Barb? That's a woman who doesn't need her hair held back when she's throwing up. No. She'll do it herself. Do it herself.

She knows how to do it herself. God dang. All right, that's the third story. I love it herself. Do it herself. She knows how to do it herself. God dang. All right, that's the third story. I love it. Thanks to all of our townies for sending that stuff in.

Fantastic. All right, before we get out of here, we got a voicemail from the great beyond. Sometimes he'll pop in and he'll share When it's five numbers,

you know that's who it's from. Then it's Doug Buffone and he checks in with us from time to time and I always love hearing. I know the Bears are not doing so great, but hopefully he's who it's from. Then it's Doug Buffone, and he checks in with us from time to time, and I always love hearing I know the Bears are not doing so great, but hopefully he's up to cool things in heaven. Let's check it out.

You have one new voice message. We are live from 670 at 6heavenly thescore.com. I'm your host Doug Buffone, but we're going to take a little break here. Before we do, coming back, I wanted to get you guys to know I got a new show coming out. All right?

It's called Playing Games with the Angel Man himself, Doug Buffon. Now, I'm calling in here to the Sklar brothers. Thanks for tuning in. Guys, happy to have you on the air. We're going to get to Diane in Oak Park. Diane wants to talk about these Chicago Bears and why it should be in the Hall of Fame posthumously. And I got to agree with you. Go Bears and why I should be in the Hall of Fame posthumously.

And I got to agree with you. Now, Jimmy, what's his name? Pardo? Jimmy Pardo, whatever his name is. He's got a show coming out there called Playing Games with James Pardo. And I'm going to tell you right now, that's my game, okay? I don't want anybody getting in on my racket. I got all my guests lined up. Paul Lind, Ron Santo, Gale Sayers, Mike Ditka,

those of you who haven't heard. We got a ghost up here. It left when his career died a week ago. When he wanted to say that crap. Can I say that on the air? On 6heavenly and 6heavenlyscore.com Also, we're going to have another guest.

They died a few weeks ago. That's the Bears season, goddammit! We got Mitch Trubisky out here and players breaking their legs trying to win games and the NFL can't even identify what a goddamn catch. Oh, don't get mad at me

because I said your name out loud. You're here. A goddamn catch, alright? So tune in to playing games with Doug Buffone where all we do is cover every loss, all 11 of

them, seven years in a row in the 70s. I played 16 years for Chicago Bears at 670 at 670 Score. Before we go to

that, before we get out of here, we're going to go to Mitch on either 355 who wants to talk about why they can't change the name of

U.S. Cellular one more time. All right. On 6Heavily. At 6HeavilyTheScore.com. Jimmy, did you mail the name to yourself? I've always said that. Did you trademark it?

Of course I did. I learned that day one that I moved to Los Angeles. Put it in an envelope. Mail it. Mail it to yourself. That way it's supposed to just stamp. Have you ever mailed anything to yourself? No, because that's ridiculous.

We did. Oh, you did? Yes, we did. We wrote a script and mailed it. Put it in a giant manila envelope and mailed it to ourselves. Still, because that's ridiculous. We did. Oh, you did? We did. We wrote a script and mailed it to ourselves. Put it in a giant manila envelope and mailed it to ourselves. Still have never

opened that envelope. Keep it sealed. Muller this thing. Keep it sealed. We will. Jerry Pardo, thank you for joining us. Guys, this was a blast.

So fun. Thank you for having me. It's not as short and bite-sized as playing games with Jimmy Pardo. The new podcast, limited series.

Enjoy it. Check it out. And all the stuff that you're doing, check it out. It is so fun to have you on this show. My honor. Thank you for having me. Thank you so much. Thank you, Daniel Van Kirk.

Thank you, gents. Before we get out of here, we want to remind people, come see us in Houston. We'll be there doing a live. At the Come and Take It Festival, November 17th, 18th, one of those days in there. We will be live at the Sketch Fest in San Francisco. On January 21st.

That's a Sunday at 3 p.m. at Cobb's Comedy Club. Let's fill it. Let's fill the damn thing up. Why is my voice going away? I don't know. And then you can see us in New York. Those tickets are on sale right now. At the Bell House.

At the Bell House on the 25th live podcast there. That one is selling out. It's about half sold now. And I think the girls from Guys We Fuck, they just came out with a book. And so they've been promoting that. But they're going to start promoting it, and I think their fans are going to come out because they're the guests on that show. If we fill the first one, we'll do a second one. That's the rule.

Fill it with townies. Fill it with townies. Hopefully, we'll get there filled before the end of the year. Holy shit, I'm just looking at the time. We've got to get back to work. We can do it. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb Let's say Seinfeld was on an island and he was blowing Boris Karloff. What would that be like? It might go something like this.

Oh, Mr. Karloff, I loved you in Frankenstein and I love giving you a blowjob. I'm giving you a blowjob. Why, Mr. Seinfeld, I'd love having you suck my...