Dumb People Town - John Gemberling - Ghost Husband

Episode Date: July 11, 2023

Actor and comedian John Gemberling joins us as Randy explains how a woman who is married to a ghost says he ruined their honeymoon by getting too drunk and frisky, Jason details a field trip photo that shows 6th graders pole dancing, and Daniel describes a Florida woman drunk driving a golf cart on the highway, and so much more! Thanks to our sponsors: Faherty and Babbel! Faherty is giving all Dumb People Town listeners an amazing deal: 20% off on your order! Head to FAHERTYBRAND.com/DPT and use code DPT20 at checkout! Get started RIGHT NOW, with 55% off your Babbel subscription for our listeners. Go to Babbel.com/DPT.

Thank you to our sponsor, Babbel. Travel plans this summer. Learn to speak like a local with Babbel. Because with Babbel, you can start speaking a new language and guess what just three weeks get started right now with 55 off your babble subscription for our listeners go to babble.com slash dpt that's 55 off at babble.com slash dpt you can spell it as b-a-b-b-e- D-P-T. Rules and restrictions may apply. Thank you to our awesome sponsor, Faraday. Faraday is a family brand founded by Alex, his wife, Carrie, his twin brother, Mike.

Love those dudes. That channels their love of the beach lifestyle into clothing for life's greatest moments. Faraday crafts clothes that feel as good as a day at the beach, like this sweatshirt that I'm wearing right now. And they're backed by their guarantee of quality. Faraday is giving all Dumb People Town listeners an amazing deal, 20% off your order. So head to FaradayBrand.com slash DPT and use code DPT20 at checkout for 20% off your order. Hey, townies, welcome to another episode of dumb people town population population gemberling hi gemberling welcome to the show and i love he joined in he joined in on the town i

didn't want to be like you know oh some people don't join in you joined in you joined in that's a very that is like that's a great if you died today and god forbid but like that's a very, that is like, that's a great, if you died today and God forbid, but like that would be on your tombstone. If you had died yesterday. If you died yesterday, you're alive on your tombstone, John Gimlin, and he joined in. And he joined in. And he joined in. If I don't join in at the start of something, I run the risk of like getting paralyzed.

And never joining in. And never joining in. So I forced myself. You got it. Force yourself. I want to. If you wait too long at Double Dutch, you'll never get it. So I forced myself. Force yourself. I didn't want to. If you wait too long at Double Dutch,

you'll never get it. He does not want to be here. He does not want to be here. Let me amend that. Let me amend that. He hated it, but he joined in. He joined in. And what did I die? What am I dying of?

I don't know. No, yesterday you survived. But you're fine. It's shingles. It's so weird. It's not a deadly disease. It's a very aggressive form of shingles. But the worst kind of shingles. His wife has shingles. Well, it's actually not the human shingles it's so weird it's not a deadly disease very aggressive form but the worst kind

of shingles wife has shingles well it's actually not not the human shingles just like a set of shingles solar fell on top of you yeah blue off which is gonna for your family it's gonna you basically now own elon musk and but but it also creates like a hard thing because everyone in your family's gonna have to like explain it and there's shingles no not not those shingles but the shingles off so you've created a situation they'll learn to not start it by saying he died of shingles eventually we'll learn but it will be a hard three months he died of shingles yeah it's like ai eventually it'll learn it'll learn. It'll learn. Okay.

So the world's getting dumber, John. And so we try and piece through it and understand it through dumb stories that get sent in by our awesome fans. The way to do it is you just tweet at Daniel Van Kirk at Sklar Brothers on the old Twitter box and hashtag dumb people town. And then we can go through it and it tells you when it came up so we can know who sent in first. I do that. I tweet at you. You don't have to, if you want,

if you find a dumb story, send it all. You can also be looking for dumb. So anytime a dumb story comes across your feet or whatever, send it to us. So I'm going to pay. Oh, we don't pay anything.

We do not just shout them out. Like I have the bartering system with jokes. Yes. I have the first of my career. Yeah. God. Sure. out like i have the bartering system with jokes yes i have the most of my career yeah god yeah sure so i have the first story is sent in by adam freeze or adam fries we've had this conversation so many times probably freeze but i want fries at adam fries i will say this when i go to um chick-fil-a which i don't go often because i don't support their politics at least sometimes i do ask for the waffle freeze the waffle freeze i least sometimes i do ask for the waffle freeze

the waffle freeze i do like i like you like the waffle freeze yes all right i like foster's fries that's foster's oh is that foster's face okay you ready for the headline this was sent in in in december of last year singer who claims she married ghost of victorian soldier complains that he ruined their wel Welsh honeymoon by drinking too much and trying to get frisky on the beach. Oh, my God. Who can prove her wrong? That's a long way to say I got drunk by myself at the beach.

This is a news. What publication is this? This is Apple Spotlight. How is that? How would you as a journalist? How are we coming on this? How do you get? You just put in your two weeks.

You thought they would say, go home. They said, we're going to have you fill those two weeks out. And you said, let's go. I have a gun in my mouth. We're running this and then the Ukraine story. This is on top. I was going to say,

let's do the actual newspaper meeting. We're like, how are we coming on that story about the ghost who ruined her wife's honeymoon because he drank too much and got frisky on the beach? Do we have enough?

Do we need more sources? Have we contacted all the sources? Do we need more sources? I saw a guy on the Welsh beach who... Seemed a little drunk. He seemed corroborated. Was he drunk? Yes.

A woman who married a ghost has slammed her husband. Slandered the dead. Right. For, quote, ruining their honeymoon. Quote, ruining it? Did he ruin it or did he not ruin it? Slammed him where? In the press.

In the press. on barry island she went straight to the mirror in wales together singer you're not gonna believe what my ghost husband did and i'm gonna be like you're right you're 100 he literally ghosted me i will not believe it i don't know if her first name is singer or this is what they're calling her because this is what how the fuck that's her if it's not her profession wait the first thing was a headline right right so this is they're describing her again in the body i think so but singer but what if her name is singer say the headline again so the singer singer who claims she married a ghost of victorian soldier complains that he ruined her well yeah the singer who otherwise it would just be who's the actress Who's the actress from Footloose? Laurie Singer. John Lithgow.

Okay. The actress? Hey. Diane Weiss. John Lithgow. Please. Who knows? Are we talking about The World According to Garp?

All right. Singer Brocard. I don't know if her first name is Singer. B-R-O-C-A-R-D-E. Singer Brocard, eh? I was almost going to say her age, but then I didn't. That does sound like her name. Singer Brocard.

You know, Singer Brocard. I'm a huge Singer Brocard fan. And she is also a singer. Singer Brocard. Accused her non-corporal beau of never picking up the tab because he obviously does. This is what she said. Because he obviously doesn't have a bank card. Guys, come on.

I'm not a lunatic. And trying to get... She's like, he never pays. He doesn't pay because he obviously doesn't have a bank card. But my dumb ghost husband! Like she's always starting that. Loud enough that everyone can hear it. My dumb ghost husband. Great show in the 90s. My dumb ghost husband.

I guess I'm paying for dinner again thanks to my dumb ghost husband great show in the 90s my dumb ghost i guess i'm paying for dinner again thanks to my dumb ghost husband wasn't there a show in the 60s like my cousin the alien what was mom wasn't there a show with like the alien they're the man from uncle or the sister man of uncle's totally different sister who's a singer i don't know well there was a girl who was the alien in the 80s who could stop time that's short that's small wonder and she was a girl who was the alien in the 80s who could stop time. That's short. That's small wonder. And she was a robot, right? Well, wonder was a robot. This was, what was this? She could stop.

She was an alien. Oh, you're unlocking memories. Daughter of an alien. And I'm like catching up to you. She could stop time by putting her fingers together. Yes. What is it? Out of this world.

She's out of this world or out of this world? She's out of this world. And then Kit, I think. All right, all right. So the performer from Oxfordshire. So she's a singer. Who insists she's in love with the ghost of a Victorian soldier named Eduardo. Or excuse me, Eduardo.

Eduardo would be ridiculous. It's Eduardo? Eduardo. Victorian soldier. Also accusing her. From what country? Drinking too much alcohol. She told the Daily Star and the Daily Star said,

yep, we're going to run this article. We're running this article. Iguardo thought he was being passionate and romantic by wrestling me to the ground to frolic in the sand. Can you imagine the people who watched this happen to her? I mean, Dan Aykroyd built a whole non-sequitur scene about this in Ghostbusters. Jay, here's the reason I can't show my, I want to show my kids

Ghostbusters. I'm like, I don't know if Dan Aykroyd's, you think I can? No. Dan Aykroyd's... Just skip it. It's not crucial to the plot. You can fast forward to that. His cross-eyed blowjob there. So weird. Jay and I, so in terms of hauntings, Jay and I

stayed at a haunted hotel in Alaska a couple weeks ago. Sure. So we're up there and we're like, so we jokingly, anytime we're in an old hotel, we say to the person in the front desk, is this place haunted, right? And she's like, yes, it is. And so she's like, I got a video on my phone. And then she started looking for the video and it was taking so long. We're going to go up and shower. The ghost erased the video.

The ghost deleted it. Is this, are you a ghost what's happening so we're gonna be ghosts by the time you find this goddamn video i have a video of the ghost let me i didn't favorite it why wouldn't she and then she's like just i'm like ma'am are you on your email right now you're just deleting junk emails and so then then finally we get dressed we come back downstairs she's like i found the video and she shows us the chandelier that's right above our head little pieces of it start shaking are shaking and like it's a video like she clearly shot it with her phone and it's like a video of every little thing we're like were people walking on the ceiling above it because that could have maybe had it. She's like,

no, it's just this one piece. Then it's this piece. Then it's this piece. She's like, it's haunted. I'm like, so maybe a Wardo actually exists.

Thought he was being passionate and romantic, wrestling on the ground and frolicing. But I was trying to share my ice cream with him. Oh my gosh. And it went everywhere. All over my face. He can eat ice cream. He can eat ice cream. He can contain ice cream, but not a bank card.

You're walking by on the beach, and you see a woman go, Give me that dog! Eduardo! Why would you? You're drunk. You're drunk? He can hold alcohol and ice cream, but not a bank card all over my face in my hair and in the course of the sand stuck to it so i looked like i had a fight with a giant seagull you did not like that

i'm gonna show you singer says a woman who has fun singer bro card is like i want to call her like whales elvira. Look at her. Look at this woman. Is she Welsh or is she vacationing? It's kind of a Katy Perry vibe. You don't know. Singer Brokard. She's beautiful, actually, if you ask me.

I mean, she kind of has the same haircut as the comedian who's in England, April Richardson. Oh, yeah. Who I love. April Richardson. So funny. Not as cute, but April Richardson. All right. A woman who married a ghost pictured in October. Was the ghost pictured in October? No, this woman

is pictured in October. All right. Brokard admitted the honeymoon should have been amazing, but was instead ruined by her unpredictable lover who hit the minibar hard. Of course, the minibar, because no one can see that. This is just a life filter on deflection. Did he hit the minibar? On no one can see that. This is just a life filter on deflection. Did he hit the minibar?

On every level. But where does it come from? How did the journalist, the star, here to go investigate this? How did she put it out there? She called the paper, and she's like, I have a story for you. Guys, this all tracks to me,

especially in this next comic. The newlywed also revealed that Eduardo, no, now it says Eduardo. So it was Eduardo. Tonya, there's a lot here about the right the author dan i copied and pasted it it said e wardo and now it says eduardo they're drunk writing you didn't type this you didn't read it you didn't type this out who added the d the dead guy e wardo d for dead e wardo Eduardo. Eduardo added the D. He was Eduardo in life. Because he's drunk. And in death.

D stands for drunk. All right. He suggested ordering 12 bottles of the best champagne to the room. Eduardo did. When they made it to the hotel, knowing full well that the bill would fall on her. So this is like, we've talked about this. This is like when a pet psychic comes over to your house, looks in your dog's face and is like,

he's not happy about the stock market. And you're like, I can't argue with you. There's no way. Like, so he's not happy about the stock market. Well, you're making this up. But this isn't, she's not thinking broadly enough. If she has a ghost, I mean, how many ways can you like make money? This whole, like, he's not contributing thing, he could look at other people's bank information.

Sure. You could steal money. You're not utilizing your ghost the right way. Yeah, exactly. Get the pin numbers at least, Eduardo. Is this ghost her excuse for all her bad behavior for the rest of her life? It's a life built on deflection.

Last week, she shared a video of the pair exchanging their vows on Instagram. Well, I think this is going to be a pretty one-sided conversation. Yeah, this is a life built on deflection. Last week, she shared a video of the pair exchanging their vows on Instagram. Well, I think this is going to be a pretty one-sided conversation. Yeah, this is a real John Cena situation. She did that. Who married them? I don't know. What priest online?

Brocard can be heard saying, I do in the clip and answering he does for her girl. Oh, my gosh. During the touching ceremony touching you can't say that not very often at a wedding do you light a candle for the people that are no longer with us and one of them is the groom yeah i would say her as well yeah all right well it's not quite clear what eduardo chose to wear for his big day brocard opted for a gothic black dress and veil uh you know why to which he's probably like hey this isn't my funeral with the venue adorned with a series of romantic candles it comes as in october

brocard left uh this morning viewers in hysterics after she claimed her ghost lover appeared on set with her halfway through her interview with philip scofield and holly willoughby brokard shrieked and revealed eduardo was here on set so she's now going on tv shows what tv shows is wake up london no it's all right she added that the spirit who once ghosted her for a week sorry i'm mad at myself like you're not allowed was not pleased with uh with her talking about him on tv and that he doesn't like philip scofield that's great that's a great aside by the way he doesn't like you hang on a second you don't like him you hang on he doesn't like you why don't you like him why don't you his breath his breath is randy and i were just talking about this is a bit we

want to do in stand-up is the person who talks shit about people through their cute little dog she is a bad person yeah i don't like what she's do you like what she's wearing you don't like what she's wearing her hair is so bad it's so ugly you're so good but her hair is so stupid they are too close to us yes they should leave right Right? Oh, no, stick around. No, you guys hang out. Listen to him. I'm fine. Don't listen to him. What's that? What's that?

They are not a good couple. No, they are not. They're not meant for each other. But you're a good boy. You're a good boy. How does she get on a TV show? Is she just like falling around in the street with ice cream? And people are like, what?

We need to put that on there. Talk to her. We need to put that on there. She's a singer. Her name is Singer. She's a singer. She's is Singer. She's a singer. She's a performer. Viewers and the show's presenters, including Alison Hammond,

who was heard cackling in the background during Brocard's segment, were amused by the spiritual singer's unconventional love story, dressed in black, wearing a wedding dress. Brocard, who claims she met Eduardo during a thunderstorm as she struggled to sleep, following a disagreement with a friend, and she was looking forward to their nuptials okay as she began her interview she shrieked suddenly that probably wasn't weird at all she's on the tv set opening of of of american idol when they put on the person who's like

clearly has mental health issues and thinks they can sing like michael jackson is terrible she's just cut to them and be like they don't even go this far. No, they're like, this is train wreck TV. We're putting this crazy lady on. So at the beginning of the interview, she shrieks suddenly causing Holly Willoughby, who was dressed as Wednesday Addams, to jump. Wait, what? Again, there's another picture of this is Broke Hard.

That's the same woman? I just hope it's a ruse. You got to make the movie Broke Hard Mountain. There it is. Mountain done got him. Broke Hard Mountain You gotta make the movie Broke Hard Mountain. Mountain done got him. That ice cream. Broke Hard Mountain. She was seen holding a bridal crown that tied her

black veil to her head and claimed Eduardo had hit it. He's here, she said. Immediately, Phil who was dressed as Uncle Fester began to move around the couch and pointed out he couldn't see them. Is he here? Brokard then told Phil, who was dressed as Uncle Fester, began to move around the couch and pointed out he couldn't see them. Is he here? Is he here? Brocard then told Phil, Eduardo doesn't like you.

To which the presenter said, well, that's fair enough. I'm not marrying him. Is this like a Halloween themed? I bet it is. This came out in December, I thought. Sorry, he can be rude sometimes, she apologized. Resuming the wedding talk, she admitted she found it difficult to find a church that would marry him. We talked about this because I think there's a bit of an issue

With religion in the afterlife Not all priests believe Afterlife has a lot to do with religion As she spoke Eduardo knocked her headpiece once again And the singer accused him Of ruining her wedding day By making her look like an idiot

On TV We should talk to her for a second I don't think Eduardo wants to be married To you No Right Eduardo's a free spirit If she's treating There you go on TV. We should talk to her for a second. I don't think Eduardo wants to be married to you. No. Right. Eduardo's a free spirit. If she's treating... There you go. There you go. If she's treating this as all real, then I'm going to speak to her as a real person in a

relationship and go, let's look at the facts here. He may not just be into you. He drinks too much. He hits you with ice cream. He accosted her in her sleep during Thunderstorm. That's right. That's a borderline rape. I'm not saying he's not a during Thunderstorm. That's a borderline rape. I'm not saying he's not a good guy. Hopefully it's not any of that.

Listen, where there's thunder, there's lightning. I've always said that. And love. Thank you. How old is the singer? I almost gave it away, but how old is... You've seen Brocard. How old is she?

43. Uh-huh. She's 36. What do you think, John? 48. 48 years old. Get your answers in, townies. She either looks really good or really bad.

Singer Brocard is 96. No, I'm kidding. Is 38 years old. Oh, wow. Well done, Jason. Very nice. Maybe he doesn't like it. Do you think it's a sign, she asked Phil and Holly?

Well, the last time you came and talked about him on the show, he ghosted you for a week, Phil said, with Brocard agreeing. Phil needs to get out of there right now. Don't wonder it. By the way, these are the show hosts on the show. Well, they went all out. This has to be a Halloween-themed episode. Or maybe just a Wednesday Adam situation. Wednesdays are successful.

But that came out around Halloween, didn't it? Yeah. Maybe he doesn't improve about being spoken about, Brocard continued. Phil was determined to get the spirit to perform a trick for him and ask, Eduardo, I wonder whether there is any way you could make my script move or something. Is there anything you could do, Eduardo? Can you flicker the candles for Brocard? He said, don't test him, Brocard said.

This is insane. Morning show segments are usually like three minutes long, right? And then we adopt a dog. Yeah, exactly. The then wife-to-be said she hoped Eduardo would still be standing at the altar after her appearance on This Morning, to which Phil deadpanned, how will you know? She knows when he's there, Phil. Back off, dude. I'm anti-Phil.

He's more present than your dumb wife i feel his presence brocard revealed that uh she didn't believe in ghosts before she met eduardo but was turned around by the spirit i had tears streaming down my face it was really intense and i think it was the fact that it was so intense that converted me okay and there you go and that is the first story i'm'm going to assume they're not together anymore. I don't think it worked out. No. And I think she should just start playing the field. And I'm talking about the

field alive or dead. She could date anyone. Yeah. You want to date Albert Einstein? He's probably floating around. Do they sign a prenup or a postnup? I don't know. There's plenty of fish in the outer realm. A Victorian soldier. Yeah. What were the wars of Victorian England? That's what I, you should interview her and really don't treat her like Phil did.

Be like, let's learn about Eduardo. Tell me everything you know. The great Victorian wars. You can't give like two insane details and be like, that's it. That's my like backstory. Phil's not known for really probing interviews. Phil doesn't dig in and he was also dressed like Uncle Fester. So there you go. All right, that's it. That's my backstory for The Ghost. Well, Phil's not known for really probing interviews. Phil doesn't dig in, and he was also dressed like Uncle Fester. So there you go.

All right, there you go. Love story one. First story, down in the books. Gotta love it. John Gemmerling's with us. We're going to talk about what he's got going on. What we have going on right after the break. It's Dumb People Town.

Don't go anywhere. Hey, guys. Welcome back to the show. Before we get into how you can support John and watch him in a new show, watch his old stuff, too. He's great a new show. Watch his old stuff too. He's great on Broad City. That is old stuff. That's really old stuff.

Damn good. Oh my God. Let's talk about stuff. There's so much since then, but I think that's probably what people most immediately identify. We'll get into that in a second. Let's talk about what we got going on. July 19th at the comedy store we're doing uh tag it again which is our show where we have comedians friends go up and

do their stand-up and jay and i are off to the side writing tags and then come on stage and pitch and they're in the belly room it's just a real fun space oh my god the energy up there is amazing we should hopefully sell it out we uh sold out the one in uh at the end in april and then hopefully the one in uh june which we're recording this before it happens. But hopefully that's going to sell out, too. And then we're doing it at Largo on on August 1st. We also the big show that we're doing is we took our stand up and wrote it into a two man, one man show. Kind of, I would say, in the vein of the great hopefully the great Mike Birbiglia shows that he's done.

Neil Brennan's blocks was really inspirational for us to taking our standup that we're doing right now and putting a framework of a great story that happened. We're going to take an evening to make the case for why you should choose to be a parent. If that's in your purview. Yeah. By telling you the case for parenting,

by telling you how shitty it is to be, how difficult it is and all the problems you make and the mistakes you make. But really it's a, it's a very optimistic show, which i know if you know us that's who we are unless we're watching sports we're very optimistic so uh really cool show at dynasty typewriter two shows seven and ten o'clock on monday july 24th all those ticket links will be available at superschool ours.com you want to sell those out so if you're in la please please please come to that daniel go to daniel van kirk.com or at danielvankirk on Instagram. I have a show here in LA called

best bet comedy. It's great. Follow that show at best bet comedy. Every two and I host that. It's wonderful. I'm not sure when this is dropping, but we have shows at UCB in July and then in August as well. So if you follow me, you'll keep up to date on that. Otherwise I'll be in Chicago, Austin, Denver, more dates are all being announced at Daniel van Kirk.com. Plus some due to the current double strike we're in right now. I'm doing some digital shows cause it's just limited in type of the works

that we can do. So if you go to Daniel van Kirk.com and you want to do one of those, they're really fun. Like movie watch alongs where I just do like a riff tracks. It's so fun. It's a good time and it's chill. All at Daniel vanirk.com and you want to do one of those they're really fun like movie watch-alongs where i just do like a riff tracks so fun so it's a good time and it's chill all at danielvankirk.com all right john season two of the after party yes i'm in that yeah that comes out july 12th i believe it's great do you love what you did in that do i love what i did yeah how do you feel about it was you know i'm in like um a few episodes and then like one episode i'm in or a couple episodes i'm in a bunch and then i sort of appear in it's

great but it was really fun the cast is great the directors were all great um i love it when does it say it again july july 12th great okay that is a wednesday i believe that's apple right you guys have you you weren't looking at any of those dates. You just have these calendars in your head. I mean, we do the show. You're just mental calendars. July 12th is a Wednesday. How do you know that? Because we do this show.

My show is on the 11th and I know that's on a Tuesday. It is weird how many things I can't remember, but once I get dates in your head, they just stick in there. I mean, forget it. You're remembering all of it. Yeah, exactly.

Forget about it. You can remember all your dates. I can tell you so many dates. That's all we have in our lives right now is dates. Dates, dates, dates. Yeah, so that's coming out. I haven't worked a ton. You know, I'm on Twitter. I rarely tweet.

At Gember Licking. And, you know, I'm working on stuff. But, you know, I'm in sort of a gestational ball. Live stuff? Are you live improvising at all here and there? I'm starting. Yeah, I don't have any, like, actual dates right now. But I'm trying, like, you know trying every week or two to

get up and watch. Watch out for that. Follow him on Instagram. And you'll find out. Follow him and find out. Follow around and find out. Follow around and find out. Yeah. What if he said follow around and fuck out?

Well, I got a story. I got another dumb story. Let's jump into it. This was sent in from Greg Quinn at Cinematic Homes. Cinematic Homes? Cinematic Homes. Cinematic Homes? Cinematic. I don't know why I can't read.

Here we go. It's really going to be detrimental to the next part. Field trip photo. Field trip. We have kids. You have kids. next part field trip photo field trip you have kids you have kids field trip photo appearing to show rochester sixth graders appear this is by the way appearing twice in the headline worst writer ever appearing to show rochester sixth graders appear to pole dance at nicky's lounge infuriates

trustee so nicky launches a strip club? Yeah. In Rochester? Hey, man. Kids got to get a buffet somewhere. Rochester Hills, Michigan. Rochester. Fox, too. Which is nice. Yeah.

It's not bad, right? It's a suburb. The Rochester Community School District is under fire after six graders were pictured practicing pole dancing while on a class field trip. Now, hold on. What was the field trip for? Can I just tell you, we had to go to the Cahokia Mounds. Same thing.

Our mom is laughing because our mom went. Our mom came on this field trip with us. She's in the studio. What's the Cahokia Mounds? It's an old ancient Native American burial ground. It could be a high restraint. It's an old stripper that we visited. Her name was Cokie.

We visited her breasts. So they call it, the Cokie Mounds is like old Native American burial grounds outside of St. Louis in Southern Illinois. You just go out and look at ground. And you just look at it and they have like a museum. And there was like a story and our mom was like, I'll chaperone this with you guys.

We get in and they're like showing like a 45 minute like she is she is cold snoring out loudly to the point where they're like who is being disrespectful about the coquille mounds and we're like it's our mom sorry she's snoring better than running around and laughing and screaming kids i know and you go and you slip dollar bills between the men in each of them that was weird that felt weird yeah because that's the deal did they did the bus break down and then they were like well here it's raining or it's cold i'm gonna get into it right now okay okay all right here we go ahead i want to hear what he thinks only one trustee is upset only one says yeah the other ones are like oh i know that the other ones get it it's like

it's good okay whatever shut these kids up whoever just took the kids off our plate have you tried the general so's chicken there it's unbelievable uh the band teacher there is one trustee he's like hey it's not screen time the band teacher is also the band teacher who's like in four bands and high all day long. The band teacher took the kids to visit the Detroit Symphony Orchestra on November 16th and stop for lunch at Nikki's Pizza, which is attached to Nikki's Lounge. Okay. I need to know. Tell me now. Did you look up Nikki's Lounge?

I did see a picture. All right. No, but I'm saying like, did you yelp them? I'm going to yelp it right now. Yelp it right now. I'm going to yelp it. Our podcast within a podcast. The students were moved from Nikki's Pizza due to- n-i-k-k-y-s-i-k-i-n-i-k-i-s pizza like nicky sticks due to a lack of available space to the lounge so they were so they were

moved from nicky's pizzas and lounge so this tells me that the band teacher is not that organized of a guy he was like we're gonna go to the symphony and then we'll figure out where we're gonna eat lunch on a field trip you can't figure out yeah you gotta know we're going you gotta have a plan rainforest cafe not make it rainforest cafe hey folks pac-man. No, literally no foresight by this guy. Keep going. Okay, here we go. And that's when some of them started playing

on the polls. The environment is inappropriate for students, Rochester School Board member Andrew Weaver. This is not by the way, that's how it was written. Oh, said Rochester. This is not a place where we should have students on a sanctioned school trip. Sorry.

Why were they moved from the pizza part to the lounge? Because there was no room. There was no room. I'm going to show you a picture. So they served pizza in the strip club. Oh, yeah. Yeah. If they knew students were going to end up in Nikki's Lounge before the trip started,

that should have been clearly communicated. That wasn't. Approximately how many sixth graders from Hart Middle School in Rochester, plus how many chaperones and staff? So there's a lot of people who are allowing this to happen. How many students? I wondered if it was just one or two. How many students were on the field trip?

On the field trip. Or how many students were on the pole? Yeah, how many students on the field trip? 80. 40. 40. Ram, what do you think how many students on the field trip

120 get your answers in there were 146 graders how many chaperones how many chaperones let this happen don't you want one

for every three isn't that the rule I don't know throw your guess in 140 you said I'm gonna say six six chaperones for 140 kids

I think this was this whole thing's a mess it's understaffed is what Dan's saying what do you say? I'm going to say six. Six chaperones for 140 kids? I think this whole thing's a mess. It's understaffed is what Dan's saying. What do you think? 14. 14. One for 10. Six.

Dan said six. Eight. Eight. I'm reading reviews. I'm reading reviews on Nikki's bar reviews. The energy with which you were like, six. This might be more shocking. 29 chaperones were on this trip.

Okay, so the problem there is it's a lot of people thinking someone else is doing it. It's a lot of cooks. Someone else. Check this out, right? Too many cooks. The trustee is calling for an investigation saying the teacher showed poor judgment. Apparently, after some pizza, a couple students found some poles. Found some poles?

What are you going to do? So there's 169 people 69 dude going into this pizza i mean what pizza slash strip club they can't handle it what place could you go into with that many no one can handle that number of people sixth graders so i'm in our world i'm sure some of them exactly know what a stripper pole is. Some of them, no idea. Either way, around that age, they'll climb anything. They're there for the climb. They're there for how it makes them feel. Listen, some of the strippers would say the same thing.

You're going to get pole burns. Dan, I'm just going to say a couple of sixth graders found the pole, and they made 48 bucks. I mean, what are we even? And you can fit six of them in a lap. They are decorations, according to Nicky's Pizza. The poles. Those things?

The poles. Those poles? These poles? That's just decoration. Champagne room? That's just another room. Floor-to-ceiling pole in the middle of the room that's brass? That's just decoration.

They're not getting an entertainment license. Is that a load-bearing pole? No. So I invite anyone to go on their website and see what goes on in that bar. They are not decorations. They are not decorations. Weaver knows. Weaver got up and he's like, I will refute this immediately.

I'm going to read a Yelp review from Heather O. Been wanting to try... It's Michigan. Been wanting to try this pizza from Michigan. Been wanting to try this pizza for so long. been wanting to try this pizza for so long we went to the we went there and were ignored no one even came over and greet us we got up and left okay so that's the restaurant that's not the lounge right no all right if i know kids are going to be eating in an adult

establishment that is designed for adult entertainment i would say the students should not be in that environment. Quote Weaver. The owner of Nikki's Pizza did not want to go on camera, but she did say this is not a strip joint. It has never been a strip joint. And anyone who said that or insinuates that it might be a strip joint is, quote, just wrong.

And she is insulted by that. She says it's a pizza place. Is it a strip joint? She's saying it's not. With poles. What do they do in the lounge? This is crazy. In a statement from the Rochester Community Schools,

Lori Green said, at no time were students exposed to inappropriate activity during the field trip. Any questions or concerns from the parents and caregivers who students attended the field trip were addressed immediately by school administrators. They're just kids. It's not sexual until you

make it that. It's just a pole. I would welcome to being brought up. It's just a pole in the middle of a velvet, cum-stained room. Yeah. What's wrong with that? This is the kids on the stripper poles doing

what kids do on a stripper pole. The Photoshop on this article. they put like marks on their faces with an iphone who they are yeah yeah that's iphone let me see this so there's three that's okay all right that's okay just hold it just hold it you can hold it you can hold it you can just hold it because we're at the end of the story um kids they're just dancing they're just kids there are three stripper poles yeah decorative stripper pole in front of couches it's not a stage right they look like individual they're on little stage platforms they're on little stage so in front of lounge couches in front of lounge cat this is very clearly adult energy i would agree i was expecting it to look

like more like a strip club and sleazy, but it has that like, well, it is two in the afternoon. Yes, but it has a sort of like clean, like it's like an AI when they go to the strip club. Yeah.

It almost looks like if there were stripper poles in a hotel lobby. Yeah. So, so by the way, if you've ever stayed at Nikki's hotel, I mean, you know, well,

but so, so maybe Nikki's motel six, Nikki's motel. Ah, that's terrible. Nikki's six. I mean, you know it. Well, but so maybe Nikki's Motel 6. Nikki's Motel 6. Nikki's Motel. Nikki's Motel. Ah, that's terrible. Nikki's 6 is motel. It's a rock and roll motel. I like Nikki's 6.

This is not like light to hold, but you guys are like, just hold it. Just hold it. No, no, no. Put it back in. It's fine. They're on a run about this hotel. It's okay. Sorry.

He's got to hold it. All right. We're almost done. But this is what I think. Talking staff. I think there's a chance that it's not a strip club. And I think it's one of those things where they're like, for an adult lounge, we're going to put a pole in front of things.

Well, it's a lounge. They could just be like, we'll get you dancers. A woman gets drunk and starts climbing on it. We'll see who gets drunk and wants to jump up on the pole. Or just they have go-go dancers. Or who took the striptease class. Well, that's the question. Do they employ dancers or strippers, or is it just for the patriots want to make some grease on their hand

like pizza on their hands someone grease up that bowl a little pepperoni sauce up on there right right to us and let us know if you've gone to nicky's in rochester michigan if you're a fan of this show you have to know if you live in Ann Arbor, please go there. Let us know what happens at night. And so we, so we can solve this mystery. There you go. Story.

Story number two. Daniel, give us a little taste so that we can get this thing back hooked up. Sorry. Oh, golf cart shenanigans. Golf cart shenanigans. All that on the other side.

John Gemberling's with us. Let's go do this. It's Dope People Town. We'll see you on the other side of the break. Stick around. Make a sound. There's more Dumb People Town. Townies, we are sponsored by Faraday.

Summer starts with Faraday. You can look good and stay cool with effortless, warm weather styles with their tees, their shorts, their swim, and more. You'll be ready for whatever this season throws at you. I love the Faraday brothers, Mike and Alex. They're twins, twin brothers who are in business with each other. And I just, Jay and I feel so connected to those guys.

The quality of clothes they have, wherever I go, people are like, what are you wearing? I'm like, Faraday. So Father's Day came around recently and my wife and my daughter went to Faraday and got me clothes and I was so excited and I'm wearing, I will not stop wearing this stuff

even as it gets warm. I have a lot of my great flowered shirts from them that I wear short sleeve that I'm wearing on stage. They look so cool. I've got the shorts. I was swimming this past week. I was in New York and I was swimming the ocean in my all day shorts. I have so many different types of their clothes. The great thing is, is every piece is designed for it to be a lifetime favorite of yours. And if anything ever happens along the way, Faraday will replace or fix your clothes for life,

no matter what. I love it. So here's what I'm gonna say to you guys. They love that with their, I love that they're sponsoring our podcast. They love our podcast. Let's keep them as sponsors by supporting them. And make yourself love what you wear.

That's right. So Faraday's giving all dumb people town listeners an amazing deal. 20% off your order. Head to Faradaybrand.com slash DPT and use the code DPT20 at checkout. 20% off. It's amazing. Support these guys because they support us and their stuff is awesome. How are you guys awesome okay i like it

italian i'm learning how to speak italian i shop so much i can speak italian i'm learning listen i'm learning italian it's so easy to do how you doing it i'm learning through babble simple you know what i love about what they do for it's easy it's on my phone the app is perfect and simple and easy to navigate but they send me little reminders like, Hey, you want to learn a little bit more today? It's never, I never feel like they're chiding me.

I always feel like it's like, Hey, you want to just add to what you know. And it's been great. It's an easy way to learn. They're almost like games as you learn how to learn the language and multiple choices. It's been so much fun and probably the easiest way I've learned Hebrew in

my life. I've learned Spanish in my life in classes and stuff. This is the easiest and most fun three weeks they can do you can teach you how to learn they kind of take you back to when you were a kid and we learned language we were at our peak at language learning when we were kids and babel has kind of figured that out and so they know how to take you back to that time like you said with games and with these little reminders and it's so easy if it's on your phone it's easy to find you're traveling this summer right dan i think now you can start well they have quick 10 minute lessons that are designed these little reminders. And it's so easy. If it's on your phone, it's easy to find. If you're traveling this summer, right, Dan, I think now you can start.

Well, they have quick 10 minute lessons that are designed by over 150 language experts to help you start speaking that new language. Here's something that I love. They say this, I keep repeating it to people. Babbel is designed by real people for real conversations.

That's right. And I feel it as I'm learning. I just think that's awesome. So guys, here's a special, right? Right now, we have a deal for our listeners. You can go and get 55,

55% off your Babbel subscription, but only for our listeners at babbel.com slash DPT. Get 55% off babbel.com slash DPT.

It's spelled B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash DPT. Rules and restrictions may apply. Buenasera. Stick apply. Buena sera.

Stick around. Make a sound. There's more Dumb People Town. Hey guys, welcome back to the show. Daniel, take us on. Before I do this, I want to remind everybody, we have a Patreon. Thanks for joining. It's only five bucks a month. You get your

dumb news stories that you can send in. You can listen to other townies' dumb news stories from their life or you can send us old school stories like pre-2010 yeah just for you sometimes i even do a green thing on there oh yeah here we go ready yes let's do it uh drunk woman drove golf cart on florida highway you knew the state i didn't have to say that i mean there's a moment where it's probably like freeing. I would imagine driving a golf cart on a highway. But you're doing a lot of this. You're doing a lot of go around. Dan, driving a golf cart on a highway is like going to your grade school at night as a kid.

You're like, this isn't where this should be happening. It's just I feel weird. A woman with an open bottle of Jack Daniels whiskey in a bag, of course. She's not an idiot. I want the... She doesn't want to get busted for... She doesn't want to be visibly breaking the law. We don't need kids seeing this.

What? She got it in the bag. She's in a golf cart. This bag? No, that golf cart. What's that lady... Mommy, what's the lady drinking that we're driving past in the freeway? You don't need to know what's in the bag. Probably Gatorade. I got my rights.

She had an open bottle of Jack Daniel's whiskey in a bag, was arrested for driving a golf cart on Florida's busiest interstate while drunk. No shit. Of course. According to an arrest report. The woman was arrested Saturday night. It was a quick little dumb story. I'm just trying to play through.

I'm just going to merge. Yeah, my balls just hang over there. Over on the median. I like how it feels in my hair. It's like going one mile an hour. The smell on a Florida highway, by the way, just like the gasoline, asphalt, heat, and exhaust. If anyone could get taken out by a gator.

That's a woman right here. Yeah. No, no. And also, if you've ever driven a golf cart, That's a woman right here. Yeah. No, no. And also, if you've ever driven a golf cart, you put your foot all the way down to accelerate and you go like five miles per hour. If that. Yeah. I think 10 is usually the max.

Yeah. 10 is the max. I could be wrong. Unless it's a souped up one. Sure. Because sometimes they put a little motor in that thing. Yeah. She's souped up.

She was arrested Saturday night on the shoulder of Interstate 95. Night. Yeah. Night. She's facing misdemeanor Interstate 95. Night. Yeah, night. She's facing misdemeanor charges. You get a golf cart at night. Of disorderly conduct in a public place and resisting an officer without violence. Which is, I think, just more let go of me. No, no.

Or just they're like, ma'am, can I get your hands? And she's like, these hands? Putting them all over the place. Which hands? Or is it just like keeping driving while they're trying to grab it? Ma'am, don't make us put the spike strip down. According to a Florida Highway Patrol report, a semi-truck driver spotted the woman driving in the golf cart in the center lane.

She's not even over. Center lane. That's a lot of go around. That's a lot. That's good. I mean, it's not easy to pass on a highway. No, she had to get to the center. She's a good passer. She had to signal. And she can get's not easy to pass on a highway. No, she had to get to the center. She's a good passer.

She had to signal. And she can get all the way to the middle lane. So the golf court was in the center lane of Interstate 95 in Brevard County, which is the heart of Florida's Space Coast. The truck driver advised that she observed the driver of the golf cart passing out while driving. This is under IMS. court passing out while driving this is a mess i have i'm reporting a a sleeping drunken golf car driver in the center lane you want to hear this is another this is a super dumb part of

this story where a good person does a very dumb thing The truck driver used her own semi to steer the golf cart to the shoulder of the interstate. So this woman's driving, bag in hand, in and out of sleep, and the semi's like, you know what? What fast and the furious skill do you have? I'm a robot. She fury roaded.

Yes. She's like, I'm going to guide this with a semi truck. With a semi! This feels like a scene that was deleted from 2001 Space Odyssey. Sure. It's like, we can do it if we just push this thing. Yes. Oh my God.

So she's using a fucking semi-truck to guide a golf cart off to the side without it going under one of the wheels or... And driving up over this person. Now you say she's a good person doing a dumb thing. She had a good idea, but like, I got to get her off the road. Or she could have been like, this might be really fun. Yeah, like, I think she was like, I could crush a woman under the guise of helping her. Or I could play God and move her where I want to move her.

Yeah. Once on the shoulder, the truck driver grabbed the keys to the golf cart as the woman tried to drive away. Once troopers... You can't keep starting sentences with once. Once. Once troopers arrived at the scene... Once there was a golf cart...

Never stop this. Driving in the center of the Florida road and when she finally woke up, they found Jack Daniels all over her body. She couldn't quite explain it. She wouldn't just stand there. Crash test dummy. There it is.

She kind of was a human crash test troopers arrive at the scene the woman started arguing with them no shit yeah of course she's not gonna just be she woke up to argue she woke up arguing yeah you know how you like you wake up and you're like where am i she argued with them insisting that she needed her bag yeah we know what's in the bag we know what's inside the bag troopers found an open bottle of Jack Daniels Tennessee Fire Whiskey. Now, Tennessee Fire, this is where I have to speak. Step in. Get in here.

Tennessee Fire Whiskey is a really great version of Jack Daniels. Sure. It is, fireball is horrible for you. First of all, don't. Does it burn your throat? Yes. It is cinnamon and it's good. But the reason is, is if you ever find yourself in a situation where somebody's like, we're doing of all, don't. Does it burn your throat? Yes, it is cinnamon and it's good.

But the reason is, is if you ever find yourself a situation where somebody is like, we're doing fireball, don't. Fireball is the lowest grade form of whiskey that they can call it that. And then they just add food coloring. Jack Daniels has to meet all the requirements of actual Jack Daniels whiskey. So it's going to be, then they actually put cinnamon in it.

I do enjoy a very chilled. If the night is right, we're in Vegas. We just got done doing an RV convention show. Okay. Then you're like, hell, screw it. Let's do it. So I will attest to Jack Daniel's Tennessee Fire Whiskey is the way to go.

Okay. However. Not like this. You don't need a golf cart or a bag or the interstate to have a good time. Is it like a fancy whiskey or you just enjoy it? No, it's just their cinnamon. It's like their fireball version of Jack Daniel's, and I i like it i would be untrue to myself if i didn't say you like jack dance you're a little saucy yeah you know what i like golf carts interstate

95 which stretches up and down the east coast is florida's busiest interstate according to the federal highway administration i will ask you guys as we get out of here with this. How old? How old is the woman in the center lane on a golf cart on Saturday night with a bag of Jack Daniels Tennessee whiskey? Bag of whiskey. Tennessee fire whiskey. Now, as our guest, you can go first, Tigger, third. Where would you like to go in the order? I'll go first.

Okay. But first I want to say I like the idea of the journalist calling the Federal Highway... Administration? Federal Highway Administration to confirm... Hey, guys, how busy is that? ...that it was the busiest highway. The FHA. So she can corroborate.

The FHA. I know. Also, if she's in the middle lane, the semi had to be in at least third lane, guide her over to the first lane, which they're in the second, then guide her over to the shoulder. So if it was in the middle... This was a whole process. So wait, if it was the middle, which they're in the second. Three lanes over. Then guide her over to the shoulder. This was a whole process. So wait, if it was the middle, if she was in the far middle lane. Yes. Middle lane or center lane?

Center. Center. Center lane. Center lane. So I don't know if it's the center of four. Of four lanes. Or three lanes. Or in the center being the furthest one closest.

The center furthest one over. In which case, the semi would have had to gone on the median to knock it in. She's in the center lane. I imagine we're going three lanes. Three lanes, middle lane. That's wild. What would you like to guess the age on this woman? What are you feeling? 47. 47 years old. 54.

54 from Randy Sklar. I feel like she could be 76 or she could be 26. I don't know what to say. So I'm going to say 26. 26 years old. How are you guys? Are you just, you're just picturing this woman in your head and then going, how old is she? Saturday night.

Who is the type of woman? Is she too young to not care? Or has she been through enough heartbreak in her life to not care? Divorced and her gotten a fight with her boyfriend and said, don't tell me I can't drive this on the road. I'll take myself. And then, boom, I get it. Takes his bottle of Tennessee stuff, fire whiskey, and is like, I'll show him.

Puts it in a bag. He's never going to find me. He'll be looking on the golf course for me. Or she's 26. Or she's 26. Her older boyfriend. She didn't want to stay at this country club with her parents anyway. Oh, yeah. And she took it out.

Or her older boyfriend was like, he was being mean to her, abuse or whatever, and she went out in the garage, grabbed his Jack Daniels out of the garage refrigerator. Probably freezer. Freezer. It's Tennessee Fire Whiskey. Bag that's out there, gets straight in that thing and goes. And whatever happens to me or to his

golf cart, we'll see what happens. Or she has a lover. The love of her life is like leaving for the Coast Guard and she's drunk thinking about it and she's like, you know what? I gotta get him. I gotta tell him how I feel. Let me get to him in the slowest way possible.

The slowest, dumbest, most dangerous way possible. Can't wait till she gets to TSA. Alright, we'll get out of here on this. The slowest, dumbest, most dangerous way possible. Can't wait until she gets to TSA. Alright, we'll get out of here on this. The guesses were... 47, 54, and 26. John Gemberling, wonderful to have you here today. So good to have you.

Thank you. I haven't said the answer. I'm just saying thank you for being here. I thought you were saying that I got it right. She is 58 years old. Oh! I feel like I know this woman. Randy Sklar. Damn it.

Which, by the way, is not that much older than us. There you go, guys. That is a show. The world is dumb and we just try and make fun of it in a fun way. John Gamerly,

thanks for coming. Thank you so much for having me. Appreciate you. And, oh shit, we got to get back to work, y'all. Boom. Stick around. Make a sound. There's more Don't People Town. you and oh shit we got to get back to work y'all