Dumb People Town - Karen Kilgariff & Georgia Hardstark - 27 Waterbeds

Episode Date: February 13, 2017

 Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark of the smash-hit true crime podcast My Favorite Murder join The Sklars and Daniel Van Kirk to break down dumb people doing dumb things! After chatting about My Favorite Murder's inception, the group breaks down Story #1, which involves a multitasking arsonist. Next they deliberate upon Season Two of Fargo, theories about human behavior, and the upcoming court appearance of Robert Durst. The final two stories comprise of a drunk driver armed with a penis pump, and the tale of the Sausage Castle's fiery demise. All this, plus a voicemail from Javier Bardem! 

Serial Audio to say they couldn't make this up. So listen to our podcast jam with co-host Armand Dan. Man, don't be a jerk, cause when the music hits the funny hits, we are gonna take you down. Stick around, make a sound, hunger down, it's Dumb People Town. Hi everybody, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Thank you for everyone who's joined our show. It's gaining ground. We're gaining ground on the Republicans?

No, we're just gaining ground on the Libertarians. We're going to overtake them for the next... Look, we want government our way, and that's what this podcast is all about. Oh, shit. Sorry, Dan, are you out? I don't know. You didn't realize. Hi, Dan Van Kirk. Hey, buddy, how are you? Nice to see you mid-sip mid-sip well this is known people town for those

who don't know uh we take the stupid behavior of stupid people and break it down with our funny friends and that is what we do and today we have people who are experts at breaking down insane behavior usually are always ends in a murder uh they are look part of me wants you guys to break down uh making a murder i don't know if you've done that yet uh i'm sorry if i if i've missed that episode uh and call it my favorite making a murder which good well your podcast is a ridiculous juggernaut and it could not it could not happen to better people i mean isn't that yeah my favorite murder which isnaut and it could not happen to better people. Yeah, thanks.

My favorite murder, which is, oh, you think it could happen to better people? I like myself. We'd love it to happen to us. I'm actually in love with your show. I love your show. For real? When you guys, when you're starting episodes by questioning

the effect this show will have on your own mortality is one of my favorite things. And Karen, when you are describing one of your favorite murders in Georgia, you are constantly saying, oh, shit.

Oh, shit. It's always a shock. Yeah, yeah. No. She ripped the entrails completely out. Oh, cut from the nose down to the vagina.

Hold on a second. Because that's always like 11 minutes away from you going, I just got my nails done. I don't do my nails normally and I'm now on this show. I'm on the latest episode where someone teases my hair for like an hour. Anyway, rape and murder.

Episode one for anybody, for the, I don't know how you like podcasts and haven't already listened to this show, yeah episode one for anybody for the i don't know how you like podcasts and haven't already listened to this show but episode one karen when you are describing the was it the bay area like the original night stalker oh yeah yeah and you're talking about the town hall meeting and the guy who says george is already and the guy who's like there's no way a man would allow his wife to be raped and then and you are freaking out george is already and the guy who's like there's no way a man would allow his wife to be raped and then and you are freaking out george and you're waiting to tell her that that guy who said that ends up getting it next yeah yeah but didn't they do like put plates on his back or

something like that that was one of his mo's was yeah he would do that he would say if i hear these plates clatter then i will kill your wife while he takes her out of the room to go rape her in the front room terrible so intense yeah well it's weird and and i mean i am curious about this because your podcast is so deservedly popular but i think it taps into something that we all either don't want to admit to people that we're into or that we like or we just want to hear you guys because you're so affable, and I love listening to you guys. I could listen to you talk about cooking or anything, and then it just so happens.

It's like a slumber party that's like, hey, in the middle of the slumber party. You guys want to hear a ghost story? I mean, that's what it feels like. It feels like this really calm entry point into some macabre stuff. And I have found myself going like, yeah, I want to go down. I'll go down to YouTube,

like rabbit holes and watch all the news coverage of some crazy stuff. And I'm like, what is it in me that is like dying to hear these crazy? What do you guys think it is? I mean, I feel like, I mean, the,

like say forensic files has been on TV for 30 years or 2020 or any of those shows like it's a thing that's this isn't new it's just kind of coming to the to the entertainment for right now but people have been into it for a long time so i think it's just that thing of for me anyway it's like here's worst case scenario you can go and look look at it and find out all the details about it and touch it and leave. I think that's the key. I think for me, it acknowledges the fact

that I have so much anxiety over these things and I'm like, see, I'm not fucking crazy. These things happen. Totally. But not to me. And I think you guys

handled it in a way that people treat this stuff so seriously on every level. It's not that you guys aren't taking it seriously, because your reaction to it is as serious as it gets. It's real. But you also handle it in a, like, what can we do? What else can we do?

We're comedians, and we make fun of stuff, and we gotta just do what we do. And if a funny thing comes up, you allow yourselves to handle it in a way that is, in some ways, light. You're handling the most dark it in a way that is in some ways light you're handling the most dark stuff lightly in a light way which kind of like i think is the the comedian's way of doing that contrast where like every most other true crime podcasts are like somber and

serious and there's like that soundtrack underneath where it's like and their narrative there's no there's no personal opinion in them yeah they're not saying like these people need replacement kids yeah they're not putting that out there but as a jumping off point for a bit for like a whole idea for a well yeah it's like concepts we didn't realize like opinions we didn't know we had until we start telling each other just like yeah these are the kind of stories where you go, why would anyone ever have children when you know things like this happen in the world? Or like, why,

why are you talking to like, why? There's no reason an old, older dude would ask a child directions. Like clearly that's, you're a murderer. You know, don't ever.

That's what I said to my kids. If anybody asked you anything, run, disappear, run, run into different right into their car. No, no, Dan, that's not no dan you're not a parent no dan children know the best directions so yes they really do they're like

little they're like little google maps that's what i consider my son's name is ways i just know jay and i listened to together which was actually really fun to listen to it together. You guys live at the Orpheum here in LA. Amazing. So crazy. Night of the freaking March. I know. Jesus. So crazy.

Karen, so our first ever interaction with you was when we were doing Apartment 2F. And you didn't even know this, but they did a showcase for people to do stand up on our show and you were one of the stand ups. You did like a little showcase at in LA at the improv and it was you and PFT and you know Paul Hopkins and Patton and all these other people did this thing and you

were one of our favorite. Jay and I are like watching all these people that we didn't know because it was 97 and we're in New York and there just wasn't a lot of sharing back and forth. We're like, she's so funny. She's so great. And you were part of this like, I don't know if we were able to get you on the show or not. I don't think we did. I don't think so. We did it.

Because everyone we loved, they I mean, everyone was great, but everyone we pushed forward the most, they said no. Also, if I knew it was an audition that I would have done terribly. The second i knew that i was funny you were so funny but if i would have told you at that point and because you've been in la for so long you're gonna do a show at the orpheum in los angeles and two thousand

fucking people are gonna show up you would have been like no way if i would have told you five eight years ago you were gonna do a show and you've been in the business you've written things you've performed you've been in music groups as well as comedy stuff I mean I'll never forget the time you you performed on the very first Largo show after 9-11 and that was some of the bravest most amazing and you just did everything that you could to just again hold it together and there's some link to And you just did everything that you could to just, again, hold it together. And there's some link to this show and that, in that you were kind of talking about this macabre thing that happened. But you were really making fun of the coverage and the crawl and all that other stuff that was going on, everything around it.

And I was just like, that's amazing. But the idea that you guys could sell that thing out, it's just incredible to me. And you just don't know how it's going to come. So you must be enjoying that thing out it's just incredible to me and you just don't know how it's going to come so you must be enjoying that right now i was joking that like the night we with the first night we met at a party if i had come up to her randomly like hey do you want to have a murder podcast with me you were like been like who the fuck is this girl how did it happen i mean how did it really come together it was kind of exactly like that except for she didn't say do you want to have a murder podcast but it it was essentially we kind of were hanging around the same people and we would see each other at the same parties. And I have a thing where I just don't like small talk that much or I'm not that interested in like talking about TV shows or whatever.

So I really love it, especially because I don't drink. So it's that kind of the way I party is like having an actual conversation or getting right to it. I want to know about deaths in your family. I want to know about terrible scars on your body. Like that's going to make it a party for me. I started telling this horrible story because I was in South by Southwest and I was on the street. I was standing on the street. You might remember this, but it was like now three years ago at south by southwest there was a terrible accident yes where

a guy turned it was a high-speed chase he turned up a blocked off street and just plowed up like 30 people i had been standing in the back of that line like literally two minutes before he turned up that street so i was moments away from being the first person hit by that car. Why'd you leave? Because I was... Was it Andy? You were with Andy, right? I was with... Andy Peters.

Andy Peters, that's right. I was with Andy Peters and... Great. Great. Andy Peters. Great. You know what, guys? You know what, guys? Let's not see Andy. Let's go over here.

Maybe there's some other streets where some cars will come up and kill people. You would be surprised. Andy Peters turned into a total dad he grabbed both me and um i'm so sorry because right this second night yeah we love to party together um he he basically grabbed us and was like do not look at the street do not look up and he oh that's so sweet he walked us out like Because it was really bad and horrible. But it was basically my snobbery of, I don't want to have to stand in line. So I had walked out of the line to go, don't we have passes? Aren't we special somehow that we could get into this X show without standing here?

Anyway, I thought that that was a good story to tell in the middle of a Halloween party. A lot of people had just smoked pot. I don't disagree. I literally don't disagree. A lot of comedians there? A lot of comedians. People you'd think would love that hideous, gruesome story. And I truly watched people, like the blood drain out of their face.

You watched their smile fade. Yes. They were bumming and then this one like a from two people back was like wait what and like for a second i was like oh why did it why don't i understand social cues that i should not have told that story and georgia came like out of the blue of like tell me every single thing that happened to you and i was like start from the beginning When we film this for the movie version of this that happens, it's going to be a push in,

pull out. Yes. Pull the dolly out. Rack focus. Rack focus right in on her as it just goes in. What were you dressed? You were dressed as like

something in your own clothes. I was dressed as a nurse. Yes. It was a Halloween party and it was Matt McCarthy's Halloween party and the invitation was like, you have to wear a costume.

So I went to CVS and just bought some scrubs because I was like, everybody looks to wear a costume. So I went to CVS and just bought some scrubs because I was like, everybody looks good in scrubs and I can wear my clogs and everything's fine. And none of my friends, except for you,

were dressed up, but no one I knew at the party dressed up. So I was like, this is so embarrassing. You were comfortable though. Yeah, that's right. I had on,

in the movie version, I'll have to be dressed as Glenn Danzig with like the fucking, what's right. I had on, in the movie version, I'll have to be dressed as Glenn Danzig with like the fucking, what's it called? Devil. Yeah, I mean, God bless whoever has to. Does Danzig call his mom on Mother's Day and just sing that?

Mama. Yeah, that's what happens. But I love that. I love that you guys found each other. And then you were interested and then it just sort of and then you were interested and then it just sort of developed and you were like maybe yeah we do this we started talking about our favorite murders right and like really getting into it and like one i think like brent sullivan

was at the party with us was like the only other person into it yes and then we would start yeah and then we were all fighting about the staircase yeah jesse pop was there too and we were all fighting about everybody had a different theory about his level of guilt or innocence and i was like for me there's somebody that was actually entertaining the owl theory it's fun it's fun it is more fun guilty it's very he's guilty of hanging by the pool. That's what he's guilty of. Yeah, for sure. He's guilty of having friends in other states.

But no, it was one of those kind of things where it's like... This is so organic. It was super fun. And it was the kind of thing of everybody having heated discussion. Right. You saw the emotion. You knew that there was something in it. There was something there. When electricity starts sparking just from a conversation

you know it's compelling yeah and we had a couple like lunches and like got to know each other and we're talking about murder a lot and it was just and i'm obsessed with podcasts and we both had other podcasts we're like let's fucking do this yeah georgia was like come over we'll record it because of course i never do anything i'll just be like what a nice idea goodbye um but she's like come to my house on this day at this time and there will be a machine there and it'll all happen and thank god she was that like you know sort of rigid as far as like making sure you recorded something down yes exactly but it's just again it's one of those things you've worked on so many things that this jumps into a gesture

i mean cereal was such a big thing that everybody was thinking about and talking about. And there were times when the serial reporter would get super colloquial with her language and reporting. It seemed inappropriate because she wasn't funny about it. Because you guys are able to find the comedy strand a little bit in it. It becomes this weird release in the darkness. And you're like, oh, thank God someone said something funny for a second. And then we're back in it again. Yeah, I think that is what it is.

It's kind of like what you might actually be thinking, but you would never say it out loud. Because God forbid anybody be, I don't know like i think people interpret it as disrespectful or something well no i think people listen like thank you thank you for saying that because i was yeah and we're making fun of like ourselves and the situation and like you know our own experiences like that it's never meaning it's never me it's more like you react in the way that people want to react but society and whatnot the norms that we have say don't do that well and it's what people actually say in private so that's what we get a lot of is people going this is how my friends and i talk to each other when we talk about this stuff and my friends who like true crime these are the real conversations that we have you know

and for fans who are just of ours who have not heard their podcast if you love what we do you will love what they do and i'm not that you need us to bring our fans to what you do it's quite the opposite but like i just think that again we'll turn on a whole should we do one let's do it let's do a story here because we break down the stupid behavior so in honor of you guys coming here there is no murder uh we tend to not have deaths but this is a little dark if anything this person that I'm about to talk about will end up on your show

this is the preamble Steven Avery like burned a cat and then is like no maybe that's what happened to the answer of the question does he have priors it is right here we'll give you the steps to getting to your podcast sent in by Commore cosmonaut

at chris v82 thank you chris as always guys you can send me stories hashtag dumb people and the number 82 is his last name i think maybe it's v8 2 v8 2 i don't know v8 2 could be chris v8 to uh lebanon new hampshire police the lebanon of new hampshire yeah the beirut of new hampshire i'm gonna read you this is the opening sentence to this story and if i just read this with the people we have in this room we could do the allotted time just on this sentence oh my god police said a lebanon man admitted admitted to masturbating into a dirty diaper while watching child pornography in a historic lebanon church's rectory before setting the church and two other buildings on fire and later stabbing two people if you need this to get off i mean most people just need a little bit of porn hey guys hey this is what i need to get going i almost feel bad for him like take one of those things and it's awful yeah masturbating into a dirty diaper what the

very bad while watching child pornography in a church before setting that church and two other buildings on fire and later stabbing two people. Oh, man. Multitasking. Yeah. He's a multitasker. Get it done. But my question is, so he's masturbating knowing what's going to happen next. I'm sure it's all ritualistic.

He has a to-do list, right? Ritualistic. Jerk off into a dirty diaper. You know, renew Netflix. Burn down this building. Butter, milk, sugar. The standard stuff. He's on a track program.

We're killing people. What if those were all accidents? Yeah. We need to do any of them. The weirdest thing. No, his contention is he didn't realize the diaper was dirty. Right. That's the only thing.

Yeah, that's the only thing. Everything else. You're saying it's a dirty diaper. I'm saying it had a little bit of urine. Right. Very different. I know everyone out there is picturing a shit-sane diaper, but it just had a little bit of urine. Dirty is subjective.

Right. Diapers are built for absorbency. Could have just been on the ground. That's right. Dirty. Anthony Boivet. Boivet? Boivet?

It's Boivet. No, it's not Boivet. B-O-I-S-V-E-R-T I want to say Boisvert But I know it's Boive Boive He was arraigned Tuesday On two Class B felony accounts of arson

One Class A felony count of arson Two Class A counts of first degree assault And two Class B counts of tampering with witnesses and informants So he's now trying to fix the situation He's now trying to clean the diaper of his situation. You can't blame him. Look, I'm going to ask you straight up.

When all those things happened, at what point did he come? That's a fair... Second building burning to the ground. Pre-stabbing people. Right in that sweet spot. The stabbing was to let the knight know he was still into it

even though he is in his refractory period yeah yeah and it just because when you do he was still hard when he stabbed people but he just wasn't ready

to go again yeah I'm just amazed because when you release you just don't want to do anything after that the fact that he still had it enough motivation

to stab somebody he had the knife in his hand he's like let's just get this over with I know i still have to do this i didn't bring this for nothing well uh lebanon fire and police responded to first baptist church on school street for a fire excuse me on december 28th it's the holiday season at about 11 20 p.m most wonderful time of the year what is that downtime between christmas New Year's? Yeah, it's Wednesday. It's literally right in the middle.

You're like, what am I going to do? Right. Black Friday's over. He didn't get the widescreen TV he wanted. So he's going to pay? While fire and police units were working to extinguish this fire, a second fire was reported at an occupied structure located on Moscoma Street in Lebanon. The fire was contained in the basement area and was extinguished.

I can read. The Lebanon Fire Police Department and the New Hampshire Fire Marshal's Office determined the two fires were suspicious. Okay. They received information during their investigation that Anthony Boisvert, Boive, had set the fires, it was reported that several informants heard him at a gathering earlier that day

bragging about setting fires previously in both Lebanon and Wilder, Vermont. So this is also the element where the person wants to be caught.

That means this dude has friends and he was like hanging out with before this happened and he still was like... He's invited to gather. Have you done all your Christmas shopping yeah I got all mine

done and I'm just now just you know there's a couple other things I have to do what else do you need to do what else do you need to do it's just some private stuff two public things what are the public things you'll see

you're right, because, Karen, I could hear if you were dead on, Boive was also reported saying, quote,

watch the news as he was going to do something big in Lebanon on that night. He called it. Going to get to orphans. Give a lot of money

to orphans. Big in Lebanon is, I love that with Betty White. Yeah, she's such a good show. Well, you know what? Because there's a woman

who's older, and look, she's got opportunities in the comedy world. That's right. In Lebanon. Remember the gathering that I mentioned? Well, Wade Bennett, he told a detective that himself and Anthony Boive had a campfire in the woods near the boulders. I don't know what that means. On December 28th.

So the gathering was just like a miscreant get-together around the campfire in the woods. One of those men gathering. Boive was heard saying he was going to do something big and he keeps saying the same. We get it, man. Alright, you got big plans.

If any of your friends said that, wouldn't you be like are you okay? What are you talking about? You're doing something big tonight, Georgia. You're doing something big tonight, Georgia. You'd be suspicious. You're doing something big tonight. Yeah. Big. Okay. Dan, what?

What are you going to do? Just say it now at the boulders while we're here. Big. Big time? Yeah. I also like the idea that he already had a fire going, so like the Olympic torch, he took something and ran it into town. Do you care if I take one of these embers?

Because I'm just going to start a couple new ones. Right. He had Muhammad Ali's daughter carry the torch for just a portion of the ride. You don't want to waste a match. Police interviewed several family members of Boive. I'm sure they were happy. Boive's wife, Tanya. How does he have a wife?

They always do. They always find love. Why? I don't know. We know people in our lives who you're like, you can't. You're like, come on. If this guy has a wife, what is happening? She called police on January 1st.

I'm assuming this was her resolution. To not be married to a psycho anymore. Saying that Boivier had called her, so they're not living together yet, and said he was going to turn himself in the next day. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to call 24-hour fitness. I have to call 24-hour fitness. 24-hour fitness to set up my membership. I want to do that next.

I got a diaper to jerk off into. I got to renew my membership. Calling her and then her being like, just do it. You with all the preambles to what you say, just go do it. I'd like to see some action here. Just do it. He does it, though. He does it.

I want to be married to a man with follow through. Right? I mean, there is something attractive about the fact that he talks and then he does. It is attractive. Call me after you've turned yourself in and I'll start to believe you've changed. Right, yeah. If you knew this guy and you knew his past,

if you were going to try and pick him up, would you just say to him in your sexiest voice, I want to be your dirty diaper? You were looking right at me.

I know, I'm sorry. That was so, I zeroed. Specifically for me. I want to be your dirty diaper. He wanted her to know he was currently at Wade Bennett's house. Wade Bennett is our guy from the fire.

That's right. A accomplice. As police, they were on their way to the 20 Wolf Road, Boulder Condominiums. Oh, I guess that's where they were at, having a fire in the woods. They received an emergency call from two people that had been stabbed at the condominiums where the police were headed. Hey, what are you guys talking about? Oh, my God! Two people. Did you guys talking about? Oh my god! Two people.

Did you guys hear about that fire? No! Hey, why are you guys gathered up around these boulders? Aye! Who left these pampers out? Aye! Are those clean or dirty? Aye! Hey, did you just stab my friend?

Aye! The caller stated that Boiveier stabbed the two people. There's a condominium meeting happening in the... It's a great H.I. Nobody stabs him. Yeah, I'll be there. I'll be there. The caller stated that Boivier had stabbed the two people and then fled on foot.

Arriving police units found Bennett and Diane Fonin Suffering from several stab wounds To their head, neck, and body areas I know exactly what Jay wanted to make Diane Fonin's work with gorillas She spent all that time In the boulders She came out of the mist Only to get stabbed in Lebanon

That's horrible I always love when people talk about People getting stabbed in the head Because it's just so like It's just this. It's like you're stabbing bone. I feel like you're not going to survive that one. No.

But can it go deep? I mean, can it go through the skull? I mean, over here, it can, I guess, if you get in that sweet spot. Fuck. Jeez. Arriving police units found Bennett and Diane suffering from their wounds. Police conducted a search of Boivier

around 10-14pm. He was located at Tannery Lane attempting to get into his sister's apartment. I don't believe they had spoken

months. Boivier was arrested. He admitted to the officers that he had stabbed Bennett and Fawn and admitted to starting the fire at the church along

with breaking into the CCBA. I don't know what that is, the condominiums, maybe? I don't know. And Senior Center. His clothes were covered in blood. He was taken in for questioning and allegedly admitted to investigators that he started the fire at the First Baptist Church and the 68 Moskama Street.

He also told a detective to, quote, watch the news. I'm going out with a bang. Again. He told the cops that? Yes. They're not going to let you go. You just told us what you did. Watch the news. No, we're going to actually get it out of you. We've already confessed to enough here. Watch tonight's crimes. You're already in jail.

And meanwhile, people at local news are like, yeah, watch. There aren't a lot of people watching local news anymore. Like, please. Boivey allegedly told detectives that he then went to the church and watched children's porn and or young girl gymnastics very very similar oh i mean different as a man with a wheelhouse for what he bothers me i'm never gonna film my daughter and put her online at all please do this on the rectory computer that church needs some security. Firewalls, man.

Yes. How is that an accessible site? To be fair, like no one really thinks late girls gymnastics is sexual, but fucking creeps. I mean, he could just be really, I know,

could just be really into it. He masturbated into a dirty diaper that he got from the church's nursery and threw out your garbage. He then said he lit a United States flag on fire in the main church area, causing the church to go up in flame. That's church and state.

He's now across a real line. He definitely wanted to separate church and state. He then broke into the CCBA looking for money at the senior center. He found $50. Then he left the center and watched... All in $5 checks that were about to go out to people.

He then left the center and all in five dollar checks that were about to go out to people. He then left the center and watched the fire at the church for a period of time, which is also one of the creepiest things to me in this that he's just standing there. It's like watching someone sleep. Isn't that normal for arsonists? Don't they like coming out? Yeah, they need to see the burn. Yeah, they need to see the burn. He said he then headed to his sister's house, but on the way, threw clothes onto a couch in the basement of Muscoma Street and set them on fire. When asked why he started the fire, he said he knew some children lived there.

This guy is going to end up on your show. What a piece of shit. Like, when you know this much, we can put him down, right? We can put him to sleep. You mean two to the back of the head? Two to the back of the head. Tap, tap. Yeah.

I mean, when I'm a parent, I thought that was always a weird statement when people would say that. Like, I got to go upstairs and put my kids down. You're like, how? Make them face the wall. Execution style. Put the hands behind their back. Blair Witch style. Blair Witch.

Stand in the corner. Be quiet. Face the wall. This is only going to take a second. But the other thing, well, you might want to get to the end, but all of these things, this guy, his name's Tony? Yep. Anthony or Tony.

I like to call him Tony. Me too. You're closer with him. Tony B. Is screaming at the top of his lungs, I was molested by a priest. Is anyone else getting that at all? All the way. All of it.

Who was also the coach of the gymnastics team. Yes. Who also ran the daycare center? Yes. And the diaper manufacturer in town. Probably where it happened was in the daycare center. Yeah. I mean, he's putting it all together.

He's giving us all the clues. Laying out the clues of his sexual history. That's right. And a fire, too. A fire is like what says, look over here, bigger than a fire. Than a fire. He's going gonna do something big watch the news guys

watch the news all he needed to do after this was take a nap and wet the bed for it to fit in the trifecta that's called

hitting for the cycle I watched the news it was the national news no local local news no you didn't say local

you said watch the news you're gonna have to do it again then cause I missed it. It was on the 9 o'clock news. I was watching Extra. Is that what you meant? No. The entertainment news?

No. Geez, Dan. He admitted to stabbing the two people because they had talked to police about him being there on the 28th. Honey, he's just going to come by for a little bit. It's between Christmas and New Year's. What's the worst going to happen? I just get weird feelings around him. He smells like diapers.

He wants to have a word with us I don't know why he also allegedly admitted to starting the fire in the abandoned house because he told he told detectives

that he burnt the house down because kids used that building to do drugs so he's also trying to fight back oh yeah

it's one way it's part of the it's part of the D.A.R.E. program that's right we'll get out on this. Boivier's sister, Andrea Gilbert, was also arrested for falsifying evidence, a Class B felony, after detectives searched her cell phone and said she tried erasing the data contained on it. Which part was it?

I imagine text from him saying where he was. I just started a fire. Watch the news. She's like, I don't even need was. I just started a fire. Watch the news. She's like, I don't even need this. I don't even need this. I'm going to ask you guys. How old is Anthony Boive? Too much fun leaves marks in life.

Living hard, you'll pay the price. Who is going to get it right? Guess the age. Guess the price. Who is gonna get it right? Guess the age. Guess the age. In my mind. This is a game we like to play. Yeah, this is a game we like to play. We know what we know about him.

In your mind, how old is he? I was picturing a late 30s dude. Okay. But now that you ask. Yeah. And Fire in the Woods, 19. 19. Can you give them

a specific number because we are going 38 38 19 Jason Sklar this is a 58 year old guy 58

that's a lot of pent up anger and that would probably mean it's not his first fire yeah this is fire stabbing

rodeo I'm gonna tuck in and say 43 43 years old tuck in the say 43. 43 years old. Tuck in the middle there. Now, if you guys remember from one of your episodes, you gave the stats of the average age of a murderer. 29. 31.

The average age is 28. This gentleman is 27 years old. So you know what's next. Karen. Karen. Karen wins. And you know what's next. Well, in his defense, his Saturn is returning, and he's becoming

who he wants to be. Seven-year process is ending. I hope that is his defense. My Saturn was returning. I didn't know. There's no defense. That was a great way to kick off with these guys. I was like, this has it all. This story has it all.

Yeah, it really does. It unfortunately feels like America right now that America is like a diaper that's been jerked off into and then the flag burnt just like running from one crime

to the next it's like I don't know I think I can get child porn on it scorched earth scorched earth I don't care everyone's like

this is bad watch it on the news and people don't get it yeah exactly right alright well with that let's go to our first break shall we

let's do it Karen, George I'm so happy you guys are here we are and Dan I'm happy you're here too thanks man Jason not so much

Jesus we'll be back with more Dumb People Town right after this stick around make a sound there's more Dumb People Town.

Of course, subscribe and rate and review this podcast. If you haven't subscribed to My Favorite Murder, please get on that train. There's a lot of people there already. If you want to... I have to thank you to everyone who came out and saw us record

our one hour stand up special in Chicago last weekend. I'm sorry I did so much time, guys. Dan, why did you do an hour? I was feeling it. That audience was... You're supposed to set us up. No, we are recording this

before we go out there. Dan, you will be great. So we're already saying thank you to those people who will be coming out, but this already happened, so thank you. But you can feel, even though it hasn't yet, how much fun it's going to be. Oh, it's going to be great.

It was great. It was great. You guys, time is a flat circle. It is. So it's just, make it what it is. And that's what we're doing. Were you guys into that show? Were you into True Detective?

First season, I was insanely into it. And then second season, I became obsessed with hating it. insanely into it and then second season I became obsessed with hating it except for I honestly felt like the Colin Farrell

Rachel McAdams part was insanely hot and awesome so hot and he was great he was great he was so good but Vince Vaughn

I've never seen him worse and I've always been a huge fan of his huge fan we got to have you ever worked with him on anything before we got a chance

to work in a movie with him and did a scene with him and what I loved about him is that we improvised a movie with him and did a scene with him. And what I loved about him is that we improvised a ton of stuff and he was right there with it. That guy can improvise so well and he just loved it. Maybe he was too much in a weird box. He wasn't doing what he does best. Yes.

And that put him in a disadvantage. Truthfully, I like that he went out there to try and do it. You know what I mean? I like that he wasn't who you thought was going to to try and do it. You know what I mean? I like that he wasn't who you thought was going to get that role. Yes. You know what I mean?

Maybe he like knew it was going to be shitty and he was just like, fuck this, I'm going to blow it up then. You know what I mean? You're just like, no stakes

because it's going to fucking suck. I'm taking it all down. You know, there are parts of it, I have to say, the waiting for it to turn was compelling. You know what I mean? The waiting for things to happen in it to me was, I have to say the waiting for it to turn was compelling. You know what I mean?

The waiting for things to happen in it to me was, I was like, all right, I'm going to keep watching because I want to see how they turn this thing. I just liked that part of the drama of that season was a civics-based plot. Very much. Which is like, who gives a shit what happens in a fake city of industry because basically they took yeah the city of industry it was city of industry but they just renamed it and then it's just like well who who knows what's going to happen down here and it's like who gives a shit this is not the wire we're not in baltimore chinatown very interesting let me ask you guys this though as much as karen as you said you don't like talking about TV shows in small talk.

A show that I love that I feel like perfectly examines like the carelessness of murder or like the tension of people that leads up to violent acts. Season two of Fargo. Oh, just so good. Right. And the cop work or the scene when I got it. Why am I not remembering his name? He plays the sheriff. He plays the cop, the young cop. when, and I got it. Why am I not remembering his name? He plays the sheriff. He plays the cop,

the young cop. Oh, Patrick Wilson. Yes. When he's looking, uh, he's looking at the couple, Kristen Dunst and,

um, Jesse Plemons. And he's like, he's like, you have a two on, you have a face of people who don't know the trouble they're in yet. And I've seen this face before because death is upon them and like murder and violence that shows pacing

and build of suspense and even just offhanded careless murder that diner scene oh yeah yeah and then the cop work the cop work after it

to be like just looking at trying to figure it out cause you know it all you know it all and you watch them figure it out yeah two years ago when Kristen Dunst

did not win the Golden Globe I just tweeted out and said I don't think the Hollywood Foreign Press watched Fargo that's the only

explanation I have didn't she win it for Temple Grandin no she was it's Claire Danes oh sorry she

she was ridiculous at first I saw her on the first episode I was like what the fuck this is dumb and then I was like amazed by her I'm a victim too I'm a victim too first episode I was like What the fuck This is dumb And then I was like Amazed by her

I'm a victim too I'm a victim too Oh my god You know I've been through things Nobody thinks about me The When they slowly pull back And it's that thing

Like I remember watching Myself realize That she is a hoarder Yeah That she's She's trying to collect A life she wanted to have And can't have

In that house Like everything about that is so relatable and so brilliant and then fucking gene smart as the head of that mafia family it's just you never see women on tv i wish no never amazing did you you guys it's not an animated show but we were in a voice room like a voice room with her and i was like man she's, for an animated show, like she's doing so much dramatic work on a comedy. She was putting, like, she would, in a scene,

like fully lock eyes and act with somebody, which is so rare in an animated comedy. Like they would have a scene and I was like, I wish someone was filming this right now because they're acting in a scene right now and the microphones are incidental. It was pretty awesome to watch. Amazing.

Agreed. She was incredible. Because in that show, if you just break it down, she's a woman losing everything trying to hold on to her family. Yeah. That's it.

That's it. And she loves people in spite of themselves. She loves people for what they can do. And we know those people. Yeah. I mean, do you guys see, obviously, through all the things you've done, you obviously start to see patterns forming in behavior and certainly in murderous behavior. I'm talking about from the podcast.

Like, you start to see, because we see it in this show. Like, as soon as something happens, we're like, oh, this guy is this guy. Yeah. This guy is this person. This person was dared into the, like, this guy is this guy. This guy is this person. This person was dared into the, like, you start to see that. Am I right? Yeah. Well, I think we both have, you know, specific murders that we're interested in.

And a lot of those have patterns for sure. But I mean, we try to get go all over the place and not just do like the, you know, child serial killer murders. But there are those like, it is funny how often drugs are in it so it's that kind of thing where you just go man i wonder if you know it's some terrible little town where probably someone had no choice but to just start getting strung out on meth where would this person have done this crime or these horrible crimes if they weren't strung out on meth if they weren't out of their minds on whatever drug they're on like stuff like that

because yeah there's drug related murder crimes mental illness related murder crimes because people don't just like they're not born

into the world like let me kill some people some people are I think the ones I like the patterns with that a lot

especially in the 70s and 80s are that the women are fucking polite. And the women help a guy carry shit to his car or want to get photos taken of them in the desert. And yeah, the pattern there is just like, the pattern, not to victim blame. Assuming that someone's a good person. Yeah, that's what it is.

Assuming the best in somebody and someone who's been rejected probably over and over prior to that yeah i once heard it i can't remember where i got somebody somebody had said that if if they had had a son or daughter that they were like raising be like this person is inherently evil they were like i all i would try to get them to do is join the Marines because they would either then die a hero doing what they were way into. Or get to kill people. Yeah. Yeah. Or they'd die.

Or I'm saying they would die. Yeah. Or they would just be like the most successful and they'd just stay on the front line because that's where they want to be. Yeah. Something that you guys touch on a lot on the show that freaks me out the most is the people who get other people to do stuff with them yeah those people who like become a cop so like yeah i'll help you catch girls that are like that yeah the obsessive even bury a body it's like you don't even you didn't even do the crime and you're gonna help your buddy bury a body bury his girlfriend that you were like friends with it's crazy crazy or the women who do it with their

boys like these men that they i was just watching this one and i i want to do it so i won't talk about it too much but there was a sunset strip killer in la and it was basically this woman who was very bland looking who was a nurse in real life and this man who is her boyfriend. This is who you based your Halloween costume on. Exactly. That's who I was deep down in my heart. But yeah, that thing where it's like if you're a young girl that's trying to make money on the Sunset Strip and a car pulls up and this very mom-ish looking woman is like, come and have a good time

with my husband. Then you're like, oh, I'm somehow in good hands. We're okay here. Everything's okay. There's a woman. There's someone on my side. Yeah, there's like, she won't let anything happen. Meanwhile, she's there to make sure something happens. Like, it's so sinister.

Or the hitchhiker that's like, oh, it's a couple. It's a nice couple. I'm safe here. And then, you know. You live under their bed for three years. Exactly. Seven years. Seven years.

She lived under there for seven years. That story, the craziest part of that story is that he took her home to see her family and then they went back. Took her back. And she didn't do anything. She was broke. She was reeked. She was broken.

She was reeked. Reeked from Game of Thrones. That's right. She was broke. Yes. And she honestly believed that there was a system in place that if she said a word, they would just go in and kill her whole family when she left. So she was doing it for them.

Protecting them. Amazing. What's the number of assumed active serial killers at any given time in the U.S.? I've heard before. I want to say it's 20. It's a lot. Is it? By the way, if it's more than one, it's too many.

I don't know. One feels right. One's good. Did you see The Killing Fields? Or what was the one about the Long Island? Oh, the Long Island serial killer? Yeah, I think it was The Killing Fields. And they keep saying, like, you know, there's these three murders or, like, serial killers across the nation.

And everyone's like, they have the same M.O. It must be one guy. And they're like, no, it's probably, like like three or four different people because that happens all the time it's not like there's one dude you know and a lot of them are cross-country truckers which is the craziest where they can go anywhere yeah and be everywhere again how they came up with the show ice ice road all right dan do we have another yes we do okay this do. Get in it. Okay. This is goofier. Sent in by Garrett Price, at Garrett underscore Price. There's no I, I just put that in there. A driver found passed out at a Springett's Berry Township intersection.

Springett's Berry. To me, it sounds like a yogurt that doesn't taste well. Hey, let's take the kids to Springett's Berry. It's an off road. I don't want to go there. You have to. You don't want sugar-free yogurt? What's your problem? I don't like it. They have saltines

to put on top of it. Just get the aspirin flavor and enjoy it. Their only topping is 7-Up and saltines. I'll have a small scoop of Tums flavor. Tums are a topping. Baby aspirin and saltiness. Give him a little more chalk and that's all you get.

That's all you get. Can I have a little cup? I wanted to try the Pepsi at AC. Nope. Nope. Nope. Not today. You already have one.

Three toppings. I'll take a modium. Spring-It's-Berry Township. A driver found passed out at a Spring-It's-Berry Township intersection while, quote, utilizing, I don't know if that needs to be in quotes. That's jerking off. Utilizing a penis pump fled from officers. Okay. He was passed out at the intersection driving a car while utilizing a penis pump.

He had pumped so much that it just took it out. Blood rushes. I feel a little. Wait, don't you utilize one of those right before the act? I don't. He's driving on his way? I definitely don't know. Oh, okay.

Oh, God. Why hasn't... I would never know. You use it when you can. Why hasn't... Has Reebok made a penis pump? I feel like they need to. Oh, my God.

They're the foreground of pumping. Yeah, you'd think. They should get in there. He fled from officers prompting a brief chase. It was longer than that, according to a charging doctor. It usually isn't this short. Usually, yeah, my chase is run. Sorry.

Chad Michael Kagan. I love his show with Jordan Peele. Jordan Peele, yeah. Chad Michael Kagan. I love this, too. When someone who's reporting on this feels like, you know what these people need to know about this person? Everything.

Chad Michael Keegan of 43 Meridian Lane. What? Just in case you wanted to. I'm going to write him a letter. You want to drive by his house and throw pumps at his window? That feels illegal. It does, right? 43 Meridian Lane.

The guy fell asleep with a dick pump. Yeah. Got caught by the cops. Not assaulting anyone. No one got hurt. Very dumb. Guess anybody wanted to know where he is. Yeah, but who?

They're like, let's ring him up. Yeah. This is like back when they used to break down old gay bars and then they'd call the reporters first before the cops got there. Yeah. Wait, which Chad Michael Kagan are we talking about? Right. The one on Victory?

No, no, no. The one on Meridian. Meridian, yes. It's Meridian. He faced a second degree misdemeanor charge of fleeing or attempting to elude police, filed December 22nd. Again, holiday season. According to court records.

What happened? What have you been up to? He has not been arraigned. Guys, it's the second time in 18 months he's been accused of causing a police chase. When they say causing, I hope that means that he got someone else to do one. They're not going to follow you. Township officers were called to the intersection of Haynes Road

and Mountain Rose Avenue shortly after 5 a.m. A report of a man slept over the steering wheel. The first officer on the scene found Kagan passed down the driver's seat of a borrowed Volkswagen Touareg. The worst a borrowed Volkswagen Touareg. The worst kind of Volkswagen Touareg.

What are you going to do with this, man? Isn't that basically like the Ford Aerostar of Volkswagen? Yes. What am I going to do with it? I'll probably just use a penis pump and then pass out at an intersection. What do you think I'm going to do with it? Either that or drop a bunch of kids off at school. I don't know.

What do you care? You're just lending it to me right why do you give a shit i don't own it the first officer found him passed out of the borrowed to her egg with a penis pump in operation charge of dog mistake how does that work i i really don't know how a penis pump is a hand or battery powered apparatus considered one of the few treatment options for erectile dysfunction. That's what he's running from. Guess who they went to to get that from? Who? The Mayo Clinic.

That's what they want to spend their time on, telling everyone how to properly use a penis bump. So, I've been working for the Mayo Clinic for a long time. Oh, yeah. You guys do a lot of cancer advancements over there. Not really working on the cancer stuff. More like pediatric, rehabil...

No, unfortunately, we haven't really gotten into that area yet. Okay. So heart problems. No, we're not doing the heart stuff either. That's a whole other wing.

Are you in the funding area of the Mayo Clinic? Not in the fundraising or any sort of that right there. Cleft palate. No. We're doing great work

on that, but that is not my department specifically. What are you into these days? We're doing a lot of research. Penis pumps. Just how they work. You heading up that division?

You know, look, sometimes people use them and pass out, and then newspaper organizations will ask us for quotes, and I am that. We're just trying to infuse the program with a lot of excitement. It seemed like a dying program for a long time, and then we have really tried to build it up again. We've injected it with light. Gotta work those phones, you know? Just keep getting funding from some old dude in a mansion. My favorite sentence in this story, the driver's side window was down when the officer approached.

He could smell a strong order of alcohol. This is what made me laugh. After which, it took, quote quote several minutes of yelling to wake pagan i just imagined the cop middle of the street hey sir sir sir i need you to wake up all he needed to do was flick that penis pump like two or three times i'm ready i'm ready hello uh then here's is this oh i mean i know we just came out the super bowl and i know i know you guys are huge is this in is this inflate gate yeah do we call this that at sklar brothers if you'd love to say how much you love that no we're not doing anything with menopause or anything no

nothing about menopause what are you working on? We're doing research. Okay. It's really hard. But I do have a badge that says Mayo Clinic on it. I drive, I park at the Mayo Clinic. That's where I work. That's good. Gotcha. I would stop there when telling people what you do. Yeah, just let them know it's research and that's it. After being woken up, Kagan turned off the SUV's ignition after being told to do so.

He said he was on his way home from a York City bar. Nothing new about it. Kagan's speech was slurred and his eyes were glassy and bloodshot. The documents state, that was all in quotes. After other officers arrived, Kagan quote, slowly reached for the ignition button and turned the vehicle back

on. We see you. We see your finger. Sir, sir, I see your finger turning. Don't worry about what I do with my hands, man. He was ordered to turn off the vehicle but instead put the Touareg into drive and took off at a high rate of speed. Police gave chase with lights and sirens. That's for the kids, I imagine. Yes.

They activated all those, but lost sight of the SUV on Kingston Road. They filed a fleeing or looting charge, but they did not file a drunk driving charge. A little key for everybody else that wants to break the law. Once they left, they never determined if he was drunk. He could have gone home and started pounding vodka.

That's right. Yeah. And what do you say, Dan, always if you're drunk? If you're drunk in your car and you pass out, take the keys out. Take the keys out of the ignition.

That's right. It proves intent to drive. It does not if they're out. Or don't drink and drive. I just know people, but I know a guy who was driving home and was like, I should not be driving, pulled over to go to sleep for hours, maybe the next day, whatever, but left the keys ignition, tapped up on the

window, got a DUI. Fuck. And he was like, you left. The cop was not. Gotcha. But he did take the penis pump off. Oh, that's smart. In the passenger seat with a seatbelt around it, which was really weird.

Here's a special seat for the pump. Sitting up seat with a seatbelt around which was really weird here's a special seat for the pump sitting up and with the seatbelt across facing away from the windshield good 2014

little back story Kagan was charged with fleeing police during that year on June 3rd on the Kingston and Meriden roads same area

in that case he was spotted doing 50 in a 35 and took off when police tried to stop him. 50 in a 35 is not that bad. No. We do it every day. Every day.

I don't go over 40. Dan. I bet you guys anything through this whole fucking thing, he's never had his license suspended once. Not once. It's just not that easy. Are you saying because he's white? He is white. He looks like that guy that ran up all those medical device...

What's that guy's name? Patton. The EpiPen. Destroyed him on Twitter. Yeah, yeah. Oh, Martin Shkreli? Yeah. He looks like that guy.

So good. I thought Martin Shkreli was... That Shkreli was like Skrillex. Same guy. Same thing. His DJ name? It's a mixture of hard rock and dubstep. Kagan was going so fast in that police pursuit that an SUV he was driving, I'm assuming borrowed,

launched after going over a speed hump. Police stopped him in pursuit because it was unsafe. They didn't keep going after him, but they ended up finding him. Police tracked him down later that night, and Kagan told them, quote, he began to have an issue with irritable bowel syndrome and was running from the cops because he defecated in the car. This guy has the best excuses. That is the male version of Eye of My Period. Where you think if you say it, no one's going to ask any more questions.

Get out of here. Oh, fine then. See you later. I just didn't want you to stop me in that condition. As part of a deal, the fleeing charge was dropped. He pled guilty to careless driving he could not be reached

for comment Monday so that worked that I was going to shit myself guys I just didn't want you to see me like that keep it in mind it is unclear

whether or not it's the mail period it is unclear whether or not he has borrowed an attorney borrowed an attorney wow or shit

I mean he like I hate to say it what are you doing with my Turek, man? I don't know, man. But he really did, like, if he does that, I bet he shit the bed with the whole. No, he shit the Turek. He shit the Turek.

Could that become a new term? Shit the Turek. What if it's the Turek that's making him so crazy? Like, he gets into it and he's just like, oh, my God, I finally am alive. I'm either stretching out my dick or shitting in here tonight. I just got to do something in the torii. That's it, man. Ooh, that's a great way to go to our next break.

Guys, we're off and running. Yes, we are. This is Dumb People Town. This is how we do it. Their podcast is called, I keep wanting to call it Making a Murder. My favorite murder. And it is fantastic.

It's on Feral Audio here check it out and subscribe to it and rate it and all that wonderful stuff one more segment one more segment and then we have a voicemail

from Javier Bardem he actually left us a voicemail very excited about that fan of the show fan of the show fan of us friend of ours

and we'll catch that after the break we'll be right back stick around make a sound there's more Don't People Town, in the break, we were just talking about your Facebook community, which Dan was saying was a brilliant idea on your part to make it private. Just also because there is this sense of acceptance into this community.

And then you said people have meetups and communicate with each other. I mean, it must be cool to watch your fans connecting. It is. I mean, everyone's so fucking supportive of each other. And it's not just about the podcast that they're interested it's like it's a place for them to talk about their interest in true crime that they don't have anyone else in their lives to talk about it with so i mean we i secretly scroll it now and like when i like when i start crying sometimes when people are being so nice

to each other one of the things i love about the your guys's show is it's a conversation like you don't present yourself as any sort of authoritarian figures on what you're talking about. So you tell people, if we're getting this wrong, just tell us. We take that a lot, and some people love letting us know. That was a fake story, bro. You guys got fooled. It was like wrestling. The comedy wasn't fake.

We made jokes off of a fake story. Still had to fly through the air comedically and get a double leg kick to the head of this story, and we did it. Yeah, but you're part of this discussion, too. So just like I'm sure somebody will listen to this and be like, it's actually, on average, there's 23 serial killers happening in your entire time.

Did you know the town is called Worcester? I didn't fucking know that. People are pissed at me. What did I say, Worcestershire? Worcestershire. Worcestershire well speaking of you guys we talked about the Orpheum show

you guys have shows at the world famous Beacon in New York yeah crazy and that's happening when March right

sometime yes yes go to the Facebook page and find out when that's gonna be yeah go find it are you guys big

Durst fans and that whole... Fred Durst? Fred Durst, yes. We love Fred Durst. Fred Durst murders were amazing. I can't believe... He murdered Sperm in the grotto of the Playboy Mansion, and they knew it was him. I don't know.

Yeah, the documentaries are great, but I think I'm loyal to the smaller shows and the episodic ones i think are really exciting i actually have uh robert durst's um trial is on the 15th and i have it in my phone on the calendar his la you mean in the la one why because i'm mad at you now why dan if you're his defense attorney this is your entire case you say did he drive down there did he not tell anybody he was going there did he want to surprise his friend that he was going to show up on christmas and see her yes and do i need to prove to you that he loved her and took care of her no look at all these letters and all these checks when he walked in that house she was already dead and who would be the first suspect he would so he left but because he cared about her he didn't want her

to be lying there dead with no one ever knowing about it so he left but because he cared about her he didn't want her to be lying there dead with no one ever knowing about it so he went the extra effort and notified someone that she was dead in that house none of those things mean he killed her it just means he cares about her and karen's so mad right and beverly should be spelled b-e-v-e-r-l-e-y it wouldn't matter he was in distress over his friend dying yes Yes, he wrote that letter. He cared about her being left in that house dead. The thing that's amazing about Robert Durst is that he is smart enough to have flown to, I mean, it's the tip-top of California where no one ever goes to drive back down. I just wanted to see the coast.

Do you think his priors will be admissible in court? Will your priors be admissible in court? I think that way. He's guilty. Why would they have any bearing on what I've done? They've got a lot of bearing. Robert, they have a lot of bearing. You've done a lot of bad things, Robert.

I've been self-sufficient. What does that mean? I took a sandwich. Wait a minute. Are you going to blame all this on Douglas, too? Douglas? Who knows where Douglas was? Douglas knew I would be. Well, he was getting a minute. Are you going to blame all this on Douglas, too? Douglas? Who knows where Douglas was? Douglas knew I would

be. He didn't. Are you listening to my favorite murder podcast? I have my own personal favorite murders. Okay. And missing persons. Oh, really? Like who? My wife. She's missing. Yeah, we don't know that she's dead.

It's been a long time. But the thing about that, he, because it was Texas, and if someone's in your house illegally, you can pretty much do whatever you want to them. So that's how he got up, because the murder had to happen to his friend. Just the way they broke it down. Had to happen in his house. But all you had to do, and God, that breaks my heart. When I saw a documentary where they asked that cop, they go, can you 100% prove this wasn't self-defense?

And the guy just looks at him like, no. Yeah. So he'll get off for this, too, because you have nothing that actually puts him there being the person that killed her. You definitely have him being the person who was there, found her body, and told police that she was there. Yeah, but you know who? You think anyone on that jury hasn't seen? Yes. Tons of people have it. Really? That's the sad thing... Yes. Tons of people have it.

Really? That's the sad thing, too. Tons of people have it. It's so sad that people don't have cable. That's the real crime here, right? That's all they have to do is find 12 people who haven't gotten an HBO Go password. That is the truth.

12 people with poor parents. I'll give out my password. You can have it. Dan, do we have one last story? We do. We do. There's enough to infer from this that it just made me laugh. Okay.

I'm going to read the headline. Why not? Let's do it. Florida sex party house dubbed the sausage castle destroyed by fire. Good. What did that smell like? The sausage castle's on fire. You're burpee. The sausage castle's on fire. You're Abe Freeman. The sausage castle.

And they say dubbed, which means there's someone else trying to get people to call it by the right name. Right. And everybody else is like, that's a sausage castle.

1520 McClure Street. No, it's sausage. Sent in by Stephanie Aiken at Steph Run Jacks. I don't know what that is. Runs all caps. She's a jogger. Yeah, there you go.

Thanks, Stephanie. She's Aiken for some sauce. She used hashtag don't know. I doubt it. Aiken for some sausage over at the castle. Part of me hopes that she read this and said to anyone in her personal life, it was like, I knew that place was that. Or maybe to no one in particular,

out loud like in the supermarket. To her toast. Yeah. I knew it. I knew it. St. Cloud, Florida. The notorious former nuisance sex party house

dubbed The, and only Sausage Castle, but The isn't in quotes. So it's kind of like Eagles. Let's go to Sausage Castle. Scorpions. Remember when you went to the Scorpions concert with Dave Anthony?agles. Let's go to Sausage Castle. Scorpions. Remember when you went to the Scorpions concert

with Dave Anthony? I went with Dave Anthony to the Scorpions concert. And you called it the Scorpion. And someone reprimanded me and said it's just Scorpions. It's just Scorpions.

I was like, Shermans don't use articles. Pretty sure we're talking about the same thing. I have to stop myself from correcting people every time they say the eagles. It's just eagles.

It's just eagles. Is it the Philadelphia football team or the band? Just eagles. They're never going to get popular if you keep calling them the wrong name. It's just Eagles. All right. It's just Eagles. Are you talking about the Philadelphia football team or the band? Just Eagles. They're never going to get popular if you keep calling them the wrong name. Yeah, that's true.

That's very true. So this is called the Sausage Castle. No, just Sausage Castle. Sorry. Sausage Castle. And it's a sex party house. But if it's a sausage castle,

it's a gay male sex party. Or maybe just too much sausage. Or maybe it's just the architecture has a kind of and a bunch of people fucking there yeah why not just so happens it smells like sausage the former nuisance party house dubbed sausage castle burned to the ground in saint cloud wednesday morning and officials have called the cause suspicious. Oh, shit. The fire was reported early Wednesday at the property of the 3800 block of Hickory Tree Street. In case anybody wants to do a walking tour of these stories.

It was the neighbors. I bet you anything it was the fucking neighbors. I've had it. Right? Yeah. Donna, I've had it. Where are you going with the long matches? Well, call him.

Call him. And you know that Mike, as Donna yelled, set that fire with fireplace footlong matches. Yeah. Well, I'll get a Dura Flame and set this whole thing off. That's right. You know my ability to call the cops on a party. You know that. I've made that very clear before in this life. Jason is 9 30 9 30. calm up you know i smell weed i think i heard a rape i'll say whatever whatever it takes whatever it takes to get you out there

to shut this down we had to do that in high school my sister and i called the cops on our own party it had gotten too big it had gotten so big that we went to the Catholic high school in town, but kids from both the other public high schools were showing up. And it was like, we didn't, at one point we looked at each other across the living room like, what the fuck? Those fucking atheists. Who are these people? And I just went upstairs like, there's a terrible party happening up there. Oh, I love it. When the atheists show up.

We don't want those heathens at our party. Anything can happen then. Firefighters were able to put out the fire, but the house was a complete loss. No information was released on why investigators have dubbed the blaze suspicious. 27 round beds burnt to a crisp. Was it a complete loss or was it a complete win? Everyone's happy. One guy, just tears rolling down his face.

Wouldn't it be great if the water beds put the fire out? The second they burst, it was all over. We're good, guys. Don't worry about it. When's the last time you laid down on a water bed? Seventh grade. When was the last time? I would have to say when I was

eight years old, my Aunt Ginny and Uncle Brandy had a water... Their master bedroom was straight out of like... Which is the man? Or was it the same sex marriage? No, it was... And you had to call one of them uncle. Brandy was the man.

They had... Was that his name or was that his drink? And his favorite song. Yeah. They had oil, velvet paintings of Elvis in their bedroom it was like my sister and I always laugh about it

because I was like if there was any time in any place where a child should have been molested it was in that bedroom where we were constantly

like kicking it in bathing suits on a waterbed and nothing ever happened to us just watching TV watching Clint Eastwood movies filthy

disgusting and I just I remember being at Ken being like it was always so hard Waterbeds. Just watching TV. Those sheets were filthy, I bet. Filthy. Disgusting. And I just, I remember being a kid and being like, it was always so hard to get out of a waterbed. You rolled out of a waterbed. And the railings were just pure wood, no cushion, right? Yes, yes. They were the hardest things. You'd crack your knees, just, yeah, face.

You would keep your head up so nothing hit you in the face. Turns out that's what's sexy. That is what's sexy. Like getting out of a pool is easier. Yeah. Wouldn't it be great? This might not be even worth the time. But if we could pull the prank on one of our comic friends that we get their hotel room in some random place to have a waterbed in it when they go into the hotel room and it's just a waterbed.

It's complicated. And tell the hotel that to, or the hotel that they can't move rooms. Refuse. Make them stay in that room. I would just love that. I would take some money but that would be great.

Would it keep you up at night or would it be, were they as relaxing as they were now? It would be horrible, right? It would be bad. I'd get nauseous. You'd get all like,

you wouldn't be able to adjust ever. Your feet are like three feet higher than your head. Your butt's like near the bottom of the...

Horrible. No information was released on why they dubbed it suspicious, the burn that is. Sausage Castle is well known in St. Cloud

as a place where people would gather for wild sex parties and shoot guns in the front yard. Oh. Guys, you fuck whoever you want,

you shoot guns in the front yard at this house. But what if I want to shoot in the backyard? No, backyard. You do that at your own house. No, our neighbor gets real pissed. Marty will call the cops.

I'm going to just shoot on the side of the house. No, no. No, I got to go front. Front across the road. The house was the creation, which makes it feel like Devil in the White City to me, of Mike Busey. Mike Sausage. which makes it feel like devil in the white city to me of mike sausage mike busey a social media sensation who carved out five acres of saint cloud swampland and turned it into a party house mike busey is the nephew of actor gary busey i was gonna joke and say i know you were i that's

why i rolled through so we could get to the truth. Just to call him a social media sensation makes me hate everything about him. But he can be a great guy. How proud is Gary of Mike? I don't know that Gary's aware of Mike. Or anything. Yeah, you could have stopped at aware. Yeah. I wonder how big Mike's teeth are.

I would love to see if he is a true Busey or if he's related on the mother's side. Can I shoot it out in the backyard? No. No. No. I have to keep telling people. It has to be front. I put it on social media.

I am a sensation. How are people not reading this? The house has been vacant for about six months, which that's just a sad Tom Waits song. The cause of the fire is under investigation. Those are stories guys i love it those are great stories well before we go sausage palace now i know we said we uh have this voicemail but uh we have a very special voicemail from javier bardem and i'm glad that he's calling us and i'm glad he still wants to share let's take a listen these messages messages are for the Sklar brothers. This is Javier Barra, and I'm calling you because I have something that I want to give to you.

As you know, I'm going through a divorce right now, and it's taking up a lot of my time. Between that and all of my various acting endeavors, I do not have time to pursue other enterprising ideas that I have. And as you know, I'm very entrepreneurial and I have an idea that I think you will enjoy and I'm going to give it to you and you can do with it what you want. It is a popcorn that you can make on your stove top, but the popcorn is already inside of this, like a picture, like a little pie crust container. Like maybe it's made of foil or it's some kind of disposable cheap tin and then it's covered up. It has a handle that comes out and so it almost looks like a pan and you put it directly onto your stove top and instantly it has all the oil and the corn that's ready for

popping and it's inside of this and you call it quickie pop that's the title that I like the most quickie pop the pop, the popcorn and the quickie is because it's so fast. This is something for you to consider and I don't need any royalties or licensing or anything. I just know that both of you are always looking for new entrepreneurial opportunities and I don't have the time to pursue this right now. But it's a stovetop popcorn that you can make very fast and he's called Quickie Pop Thank you Wow

I love that he calls you guys but do you have the heart to tell him? No and with a guy like that that just tells you where Hollywood is you don't tell him he tells you and then you have to like somehow make the idea not work and blame it on something else i mean imagine if you were the person that had to deliver that bad news then you're fired your brother's for everybody's fired

imagine because the passion that he put in so much passion he blows out the lock in your door. He friendos your whole family. He's just a murdering machine. You don't want that. Speaking of murder, he is a murdering machine. That's right. He can only be that guy from now on for me. He's so good. So good.

And you guys are so good. Thank you guys for joining us on the show. It was so fun. I mean this, Karen, we've known you for a super long time. We're so happy for you. I mean, you've had all this great success writing, but this is really awesome to see a huge audience get behind you.

What to know? What we already know. Georgia, Georgia, Georgia, Georgia, we met at meltdown and we were just, we loved hanging out with you.

And I'm so happy that you guys found each other because now everyone knows what we already know, which is you guys are superstars. Let it take you to the sausage palace in the sky. Oh my God. What if we got our own You guys gotta make

your own sausage palace. 27 waterbeds. My favorite Katherine Heigl movie. 27 waterbeds. Shoot in the back. Shoot in the backyard. At their sausage palace

you can shoot in the backyard. Amen. Guys, check our website superschoolers.com to find out where we're performing in March. We're going to be in Cleveland at Hilarities in Portland with Dan VanKerke. He's going to be with us at Helium in Portland. That's the last weekend.

And then we're all going to be at Moon Tower. We're going to do a live Dumb People Town at Moon Tower. You guys do it? Yes, we will be there. Okay, so we're hanging. We're hanging. We'll hang out. Super fun.

Maybe you guys can come and join us on that. Yeah, maybe you guys have hometown murders. Yeah, just share with us. We might have to cross over like Iverson. We'll see. Or like John Edwards. That's more of a reference, if you would understand. Crossing over like John Edwards.

All right, guys. What's up, my brothers? He's the Iron Man, Kirk. Karen, Georgia, thank you for joining us. And we'll see you guys next week you