Dumb People Town - Kathleen Madigan - Could Have Been A Lawyer

Episode Date: November 16, 2021

This week Kathleen Madigan comes to town to hang with Daniel, Jason and Randy. The first story is about a bowling ball incident. The second story a woman's tries to turn in her boyfriend to the police. Final story is about the worst McDonalds customer.

Skypains, out of here. Hey townies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population you. Population Madigan. Kathleen Madigan welcomes the show. This is his own Kathleen Madigan. episode of dumb people town population population madigan kathleen madigan welcome st louis's own kathleen madigan i feel like we've been living in dumb people town our entire lives as you take a sip of a beer welcome to town my friend well thank you very much yes and if you combine half of my life being in the ozarks you can really add to your dumb town people thing i mean forget about it we used to our parents still have a place our you know our dad's passed away but i mean we used being in the Ozarks, you can really add to your dumb town people thing. Forget about it. Our parents still have a place. Our dad's passed

away, but we used to go down to the Ozarks all the time. They're like Lodge of the Four Seasons. It's like a Four Seasons hotel? No. Lodge of the Four Seasons. We're just going to Shooters to get drunk with Alan Jackson tonight. Nelly's coming. Come on, man. Is that a

Robert Trent Jones golf course? No, it's a Terrence Trent Darby golf course. There you go. There's some good golf courses down there. There really are some good golf courses. That's one thing I could put in the super duper great category. But yeah, there's a lot of there's a lot of math. The things going on down there.

Nothing like the Ozarks brings together golf courses and t-shirts. And no teeth. Wait, how many times have you been lost in a party cove down there? That's where I did one of the dumbest things I've ever done, I'll tell you about later. Actually, in party coves. We'll save it. Okay, that's a great way to tee up for our patrons.

All right, so we get stories sent in to Dan by our wonderful fans. Go on Twitter, you hashtag it, Dumb People Town. And then at Daniel Van Kirk. And then we see in the order who was first. And then Daniel breaks them down as only he can. And we all get to them. We have one of the funniest people, a comedy legend with us, Kathleen Madigan. Let's jump into a story.

Okay, ready? This is sent in by Megan Leskowski. Megan Leskowski. I Lestakowski outside. I Lestakowski outside. I lest the Kowski outside. I once dated Deborah Laskowski. Oh, yeah. It was Megan's aunt.

Did she make a good sausage? Megan is at Soymates4. That's the number. EVA, Eva. Soymates4, Eva. Okay, here we go. She's vegan. Ready for this headline, which is all we would need to do a full set of comedy?

Let's hear it. Woman hits own head with bowling ball to fake robbery. That's commitment. Kathy, would you agree? You're committing to the bit. Yeah, I mean, that's a lot of injury to probably get a fake robbery going. You could probably think of something less weighted. Yeah.

She's like, no, I got to sell this thing. I got to sell this thing. I got to hit myself in in the right all you have to do is lock yourself in a closet right and go i got locked in the closet while they robbed us hey if you do it three times in a row that's a turkey did you know that your head three times with a bowling ball do you is she do you have does it say how much his bowling ball weighed was she like on the light side like a three pounder let's get into it and, did it happen at a bowling alley? Is she trying to rob a bowling alley? It's just in a garage.

Yeah. Maybe she brought it with her to the scene. Yeah. Jamie L. Gordon said, quote, she had been struck in the head with a bowling ball and all the money had been stolen out of the safe. So if you are a crook, and you're a thief, and you're going to someone's house, and you want to rob them,

and they approach you in the moment, first thing you're going to root around for, Kathleen Madigan, is a bowling bag for you to unzip. Right. Then put your fingers in it and use it as a weapon, right? That seems practical. Because that's where you're going to put the cash when you've stolen it. Oh, it serves a dual purpose. Oh my God, that is so smart? That seems practical. Because that's where you're going to put the cash when you've stolen it.

Oh, it serves a dual purpose. Oh my God. That is so smart. That is true. You got to carry out your loot somehow. Thank you. Have you robbed a house?

Can I also just tell people, as we already know, this woman faked it by hitting herself in the head with a bowling ball. If you ever commit a crime or you're just a child learning to lie,

you can't have all the answers. So when the cops come in and go, what happened? You go, well, they came in. They're like, I got hit over the head. And then they had a blue bag. And they took the blue bag over to the safe. And they took all the money. There's no more money.

The person's going, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's too many details. Yes. You just need to be like, I don't know what happened. I heard a loud noise. I got hit in the head. And then I passed out. Right.

And then let them piece it together. And when somebody's like, how much money? You have to be like, who cares? I don't know. I got hit in the head. You can't. I have a loud noise. I got hit in the head and then I passed out. Right. And then let them piece it together. And when somebody is like, how much money? Like you have to be like, who cares? I don't know. I got hit in the head. You can't. I have a concussion. Yes.

Yes. My dad was a lawyer and he always used to say 90% of people in this country are in prison because they can't keep their goddamn mouth shut. And I think he's right. You know, he used to say it's the whole thing. Don't ever snitch on yourself. Your answer to everything is I do not recall and I need an attorney. Even if you have hit yourself with a bowling ball.

Yes. You're 100% right. I do not recall. Big time lawyer in the suburbs of Chicago. And he was always like, I, my voice. He didn't. It was just a guy. Let me talk to you first.

That is not how I talk. But he would say he was like, yeah, literally, if everybody just a guy. Let me talk to you first. That is not how he talks. But he would say, he was like, yeah, literally, if everybody just shut up, the amount of convictions that would never happen, just shut up. So a friend of mine, this is how I got to know this guy who was in Elmhurst, one night they were driving and one of them was driving drunk. There was four guys in a car, right? Shouldn't be doing that. Totally agree.

But they were young and stupid. Luckily, everybody lived. They get pulled over. And the guy driving, as soon as he pulls over, just takes off sprinting, right? And the cop doesn't even chase because he's like, I got three of his friends right here. That's right. So the cop walks up and he goes, who's driving the car? And they go, we don't know.

And they're like, well, who's driving the car? And he was like, it was just like a guy we met at the bar who said do you want it i'll drive your car back to your place and so we said yeah and then they go who was it and they go we need a lawyer and that's all they said after that was like we need a lawyer and the cop was like there's not what can i do kathleen is nodding her head like that's exactly what you that's exactly what you do it's exactly what you do. Just don't say anything. So she probably spilled all the beans here. Oh, well, okay.

Dan, I'm imagining also the Chicago lawyer talking about having Sebastian Maniscalco's voice. And then they come up to the guy with a bowling ball. Hits himself in the eye. She said she did not see her assailant because she was struck from behind and knocked unconscious. Again, you're volunteering way too much information. You say, I don't know, I got hit.

You came at me with an angle like this. When the manager arrived at the bowling alley, he granted Weddle permission to view the surveillance video. Oh, boy. If you're going to rob anything, check for the camera. See if there's a camera. You want to see the video to see how much it backs up your story you guys can call me a weirdo if you want

I don't rob at all and I am always for some reason looking for cameras yeah but yeah you should just be walking around in this day and age

assuming there's a camera everywhere always 100% always but I don't think they think of it no

no so you don't Kathleen you perform at casinos like don't you assume that there's like cameras in the toilets like they're kind of everywhere yeah in the room that's why if you got if you have to do something weird in a casino turn your lights out turn the lights out yes

yeah that's it not that i've done it i'm just saying like if i if i hide stuff in my casino room if there's no safe i turn the lights out when I do it. That's right. Pro tip is from Kathleen Madigan. Two, just say I need a lawyer and turn the lights off when you want to hide shit. So the manager shows up and says, hey, Officer Weddle, I'm going to come here and look at this surveillance video with me. The officer says, I observed Jamie walk into the office. Jamie walks over to the counter in the office and picks up a red bowling ball.

Also, how on brand for a bowling alley that they just have one laying in the office? I assume this is a bowling alley. Yeah, it has to be. Picks up a red bowling ball. I don't know, but red's a weird color. It is a bowling alley, just so I am correct. It's Pete Weber's house of pies. He's from Florissant.

I love house of pies in Houston. He is from Florissant. He is from Florissant. You know who you are? What is it? Who you think you are? I am. Worst quote ever. The best quote ever.

Jamie walks over to the counter in the office, picks up a red bowling ball with her left hand. Do you think she wanted to make sure it was one that fit? You know, that whole move? So here's my question. I mean, it's a bowling ball, and she's probably left-handedhanded that's what we now know about her because you wouldn't take it with your non-dominant you know that bowling alleys have adjusted now to the finger hole dilemma that like you used to walk and see how many bowling balls would fit your fingers and my

dumb fingers can't fit into anything because i broke every finger playing basketball now they have on every bowling ball i was just bowling they have on every bowling ball, I was just bowling this weekend, on every bowling ball they have small, on the little ones, small and medium size, and on the heavier ones, large and extra large holes on every ball. They figured it out. I'm like, how did you advance bowling?

Halfway through the time of the bowling, I was finding a ball. Or you go super light. Didn't you just assume that the lighter weight ones had smaller holes? That's what I thought. No, but that's how messed up my knuckles are

is that even on the larger, heavier ones, the holes weren't big enough. But now they give you two options. What's your weight? What's your bowling ball weight? 12 pound ball

because I throw a hook. I like an 11. 12 because I throw a hook. Kathleen, what do you throw? The lightest one that anyone will provide for adult or a large child. Even if it's a kid's

ball, I don't care. So an 8. You're rocking an 8. Randy? I like a 12 or a 14. Wow, you guys are going heavy. He throws a hook. I throw a hook. The other day I bowled like a 189. I am actually good at bowling because I take my kids so much.

You're not throwing anything. You're pushing. You're pushing. Just the fact that you just said just the other day. How often are you bowling? Like, a lot because it's something my daughter, who's eight, likes to do. And, like, it's something we can go do together. Yeah. It's fun.

It kills some time. It's great. It's a great weekend activity. It's a great call. Yeah. Okay. Okay, so Jamie walks in, picks her favorite red bowling ball with her left hand, and the cash drawer with her right hand.

I don't know why she thought she had to do this simultaneously. Both at the same time. She felt like she was in some sort of limbo of like, am I robbing if I'm also hurting myself at the same time? Can I rub my stomach and pat my head at the same time? She then proceeds to strike herself how many times in the back left side, JFK style, of her head with the bowling ball? Just for fun, do you guys just want to guess how many times she hit herself in the head?

Yeah, Kathleen, how many times do you think she hit herself in the head? I don't think you could do it more than three. I think you'd pass out. That's true. Jay, what do you think? What a fun dare. Let me see you get to four. Yeah.

I think, yeah, I'm going to say two. I'm going to say five. You should do it five times. Okay. Okay. One of you is exactly right. Okay, great. So now, it's a quick one, so I'll just tell you.

But also, don't you think, if let's say you're doing four, since nobody guessed that, the first one is a big buildup, right? Like you're really like. Yeah. And then do you think it goes two and three fast? Yeah, I do. And then the fourth, you're like one more. I'll just.

Okay, I can do it one more time. I can do it one more time. Two and three fast. Right? Two and three fast. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

She strikes herself twice in the back of the head. Oh, Jay. That's right. That's right. Gordon then, quote, dropped to the floor where she remained for 13 minutes waiting for another employee to discover her. They don't say she's knocked out. She just waited for someone to come find her in their living room.

So periodically picking up her head going, guys. She could have really hurt herself. But she already took the cash, right? Yeah. It's in her other hand. I don't know. Okay. She put it cash, right? Yeah, it's in her other hand. I don't know. Okay. She put it in her pants?

After informing Gordon that he, this is the officer, just watched her strike herself in the head with a bowling ball twice on video, he asked where the money was. Jamie L. Gordon then sighed and said, some of it's in my car. Not all. Some of it. Some of it.

Well, some is probably in her pants. Right. I think. 100%.. Some of it. Some of it. Well, some is probably in her pants. Right. I think. 100%. I'm surprised she didn't say that was a deep fake. She then led the officer to the car where she pulled out a Hello Kitty brand bag full of money. Some of it. Yes. Some of the money.

Some of the money. Right. I'm going to tell you guys. I mean, how much money can you get from a bowling alley office? Do you want to guess? Yeah. Okay. But the real guess is how much was left. You mean?

So you can first guess the amount that she stole. Wait, we're guessing how much she stole? How much money do you think she stole from the office at the bowling alley? I'm going to go with $157. Okay. I'm going to say like, I love her. I'm going to say $740. Oh my God.

That would be the fanciest bowling alley of all time. She's kind of right. I think $353. Okay. The total amount stolen. Then we're going to figure out how much was left and then we'll get out of this story one. The total amount stolen, $ we're going to figure out how much was left and then we'll get out of this story one. The total amount stolen $2,100.

So now would you hit yourself in the head twice with a bowling ball for $2,100? You guys don't even drink Pirates of the Caribbean water for less than 50 grand. Okay, so Dan asked us how much money we would take. How much money would it take? This is a Patreon episode. Only people can

hear it there, I believe. So speaking of Florida, how much money would it take? Only people can hear it there, I believe. Speaking of Florida, how much money would it take for you to drink one drink, a shot glass worth of water from Pirates of the Caribbean? What you're doing right now, but with Pirates of the Caribbean water. What's the least amount of money someone could pay you to take a shot glass of water from Pirates of the Caribbean? You mean from the Disney World? Yes.

Oh, not that much. Me too. I said 500 bucks. I mean, I'm sure I've drank way worse shit in bars in the Ozarks. These guys said 50 grand. Oh my God, no. I'd do it for cash on the spot? Yes, cash on the spot. Literally cash on the spot.

1,000 bucks. 500? See? That's what I said. 500 bucks. 500 bucks. There's no way that one thing is going to kill you. You might have diarrhea or something.

For a week. Right. Or a month. Okay. You might not be able to like. You may not be able to see out of your left eye for a year. Yeah, that's all right. I can't see anyway.

Yeah. That's it. All right. Okay. What do I need to see? Let me get you guys out of this story. Okay. So, 21100 was stolen.

How much was left in her car in the Hello Kitty bag? You are a guest, Kathleen. If you want, you can go first. You can go second, Tig. We can go third, whatever you want. I don't understand what you mean left. She goes, I got some. She goes, where's the money?

She goes, some of it's in my car. So, it went in the bag. Okay, so what's left in the thing? I'll say she's probably stashing it. So $412. Okay. That's a great guess. Jay, I'm going to stay with my original guess

and say $750. Okay. Yeah, I think $900. Okay. I'll tell you this. When asked where the rest of the missing money was, Gordon said she'd gambled it away at the bowling alley slot machines.

Jesus. See, they forced her to do this. Because you know. She started it with the goddamn slot machines, and then she got addicted, and then she had to hit herself in the head with bowling balls. This is on them. I hope she only needed about $250.

And so she was like, I have $2,000 to play with. I'm going to win that back. Once I win, I'll put it back. All I'm trying to do is win $200 and then I'll put the $2,100 back. I'll put it back. Right. She had a plan. Okay. One of you has a really great guess. Okay.

We'll end story one here. The amount of money left over after hitting them slot machines and hitting herself twice in the head with a bowling ball is $438. Oh my God! You were 20 bucks off.

Who do you think you are? She is. Come on, who gets to stamp their redneck card? Me? You. You knew what she was doing. I love it.

What a great story. Great opening. I love when someone thinks they have a plan and then it's going to just be a dumb plan executed perfectly, but then completely found out. Yeah. That's so great. I love it. All right.

Kathleen Madigan's with us. We're going to find out where she is and what she's got going on. How you can go see her, how you can follow her and all the fun things. Support her in the ways that she deserves to be and she has grown accustomed to be supported on the other side of this break. This is Dumb People Town with Kathleen MacDonald. Stick around. Make a sound. There's more Dumb People Town.

Hey, guys. Welcome back to Dumb People Town. Before we get into what Kathleen's doing, I want to remind people, check out DanielVanKirk.com for all of his amazing virtual shows and then the live tour for him, which is coming back up in March. And if you have never checked out Pen Pals, do so.

Rory Scolvin and I are having a lot of fun doing that. I would say it's just a fun, loose day if you're checking out Dumb People Town and then following it up with a little bit of Pen Pals. So all that stuff's at danielvankirk.com. There's a lot of good shit there. And then we are

going to be in Phoenix at the Tempe Improv in December then we're going to be in Aurora, Illinois which we have not done a New Year's Eve in ages and so we're going to do it and it's been so long I encourage everyone who's ever met me

or seen me sleeping on an L train in Chicago, go out to Aurora. Come see us. Come see us. We're all good people. And then Comedy Works in Denver in January, and then the Comedy Loft in D.C. in February, and then Hilarity's in March, and then back in Moontower in Austin.

So we have something every month, and we're out there and around. And we just recorded two new episodes of our Patreon. If you join our Patreon, two new episodes of Cheaper Seats. You know what I'm going to say? You guys keep calling it Patreon because that's what it is. It really is an exclusive chance to watch Cheaper Seats. So Cheap Seats, our old show on ESPN Classic, we're making new ones on the Cheaper Seats, a cheaper version, but they're just as funny.

And if somebody signs up right now, there's like, what, four episodes, six episodes just waiting for them? Five. Five already and two more in the can. Seven. Seven. So set you- The two we did today, one of them is the Balloon World Cup,

which we will say in the opening, we say originally we thought was just how many drugs you could smuggle across the border in your asshole. It's a competition. Turns out it's a different competition. Yeah, that's Narco season four. Got it. So come join our Patreon and you get to see that. Patreon.com slash Sklodbrothers.

Five bucks a month and all this extra content. Kathleen Madigan, I know you're on the road. I know you're doing stuff. You're in Nashville right now, but where can people catch you? This is going to drop next Tuesday. So this weekend, states are out of it. But where are you like weekend before Thanksgiving? Or December.

And December and all that stuff. We're going to a casino Thanksgiving weekend in West Virginia. Charleston, West Virginia. Charlestown. Great. And then like Newark, things in Newark, and then Fort Myers, Sarasota. Fort Myers. That gig.

Oh, yes. Oh, yeah. 60. Oh, God. Oh, my God. Is that more pressure on you or no? Aspen. It's all on my website.

Honestly, it's gotten. I've had to make up so many shows because of COVID. Sure. Yeah, it's a lot to remember. But it's all good. Is it KathleenMadigan.com? Yes. Okay, go see her.

She's just one of our favorite comics. A St. Louis, someone we've always felt connected with because of our St. Louis roots. There might be a room in the party bus for her. She's just one of our favorite comics. A St. Louis, someone we've always felt connected with because of our St. Louis roots. There might be room in the party bus for her. Yeah, your parents might be able to sell a couple of seats on the party bus to you. I think they might be selling some of the marketing comps. I'm not going to bring it up.

Do it. I'm going to let it go. Those are secondary window tickets, is what we call them. Secondary market tickets. That number keeps rising, and I thought we had You know

Established You only have so many friends And yet I don't know You know It's like when your dad Comes to you And he's like

I got these tickets On Stub Hump And you're like That's not a thing It's not a thing You bought it At the wrong place I tried babbing seats

That didn't work either That's not a thing That's not a thing That's not a thing Well that's good. And what else? Anything else where people can support you on social media or whatnot? Oh, yeah.

Well, and I have my own Madigan's Pubcast where I just talk about inane things. You can listen to that. Love it. And I'm going to tape a special in Denver in February for Amazon. So if you want to come to that, I think the first show sold out, but the second show has taken off. Where are you taping it in Denver? At the Paramount.

Amazing. Fantastic. Oh my God. It's just a great Milwaukee, the Pabst, and Denver Paramount are tied to me for the best comedy theater places in the whole country. Yes. 100% agree. A million percent agree. So go see her in

Denver, please. Denver's a great comedy town and they will come out and support they are it's wonderful so come see us in January and we'll be the warm up opening act

and you'll go see her in February exactly we'll get you loose and ready to go shall we jump into another story you ready

yes this was sent in by Kyle Andrews do you remember his handle yet we love it late night nachos yes sir Jason Sklar

this is a guy who sends in a lot of stories. At Late Night Nachos sent this in. Kyle Andrews. Great. I want nachos right now. I want nachos. I would eat, if you were like,

there are 12 things of Bush Stadium nachos sitting in front of you right now. See, those are the dip ones, or the smothered. But when you get in a restaurant, nobody ever gives you the, it's not like a queso unless you're in Houston. I want a plate piled so high. All right, okay burnt chips on the edge nacho talk well welcome back to nacho talk ready for this story takes place yeah nashville tennessee oh local there we go might be

around the corner i'm gonna read you the headline because it's just that much fun girlfriend calls police to turn in boyfriend for reward money while together in stolen car it's just babe i gotta make a call didn't get through so he's in a car he stole she's with him she calls up to get the reward money if she turns his ass in while they're in the car together does she now here's the question does she mask who she's talking to? Or is it all part of the scheme? I'll do something. There'll be a reward out for me. You get us the money.

Right. And then what? You still stole the car, though. I know. So you just did that redneck thing where you only think to a point. Exactly. That's what I'm trying to think they did. He still stole a car.

Someone did. He still stole a car. Someone did. I stole a car. If you roll up to pick up the money, you're rolling up in a car that has license plates. That is the reason why the money. He stole a car, because I'm not to lead it too much,

but we'll get to it in one second. He stole a car in the most dramatic fashion. But here's the question. Did he slide across the hood? You're close. Kathleen, do you have any friends that are cops? I'm assuming you probably have. Yeah, I mean, I know a few.

Yeah. Right. So if someone were to come in and ask for or say, I found him and I want the reward money, don't you do, if you're the cops, like a crazy check on everything that who this person is? Of course. Run the plates of the car they come in on.

Find out if they have property. It's like winning winning a lottery ticket there's a whole vetting process right i think it depends on how big of a city you're in like i think if you did that it literally in osage beach there'd be two cops that go well let's go get them i don't think they would think one step further i think if you're in like chic or St. Louis or somewhere, they're going to go, yeah, this is a little weird. What do you mean, dude? And then check that. But I think small towns. This is Nashville.

Yeah, but Nashville, they say Davidson County, they could mean 40 miles out in Hillbilly Howland. You don't know. True. WZTV. Nashville, Tennessee. The girlfriend of a man accused of stealing a rental car from you don't know true all right well this comes from wz tv nashville tennessee the girlfriend of a man accused of stealing a rental car from the nashville airport oh my god that takes super balls i know he called she called police to turn him in for reward money reward money i can say it

while allegedly riding in the stolen car who's the guy guy, OJ? According to... She's the Collins. According to the Metro Nashville Police Affidavit. Also, don't break any laws at an airport. No. Because it's all federal, right? Well, you're also on camera every step of the way in the airport. That too. Leaving the airport.

And how did you steal a rental car? That's on you, rental car place. Sorry. they probably drove straight out through that no through that crazier i said dramatic according to the metro nashville police affidavit the theft originally took place in july when ready for this name you couldn't the best matt walsh amy poehler matt pester ian roberts some of the best improvisers in the world couldn't come up with a name. Okay, let's hear it. This took place in July when our guy Chance Mangion.

Chance Mangion. I can smell the cologne. Or Mangion. M-O-N-G-E-O-N. Mangion. I can smell the desperation. Right? Mangion sounds like a shitty cologne.

It does. Mangion is what it is. Mangion. It sounds like a seedy resort somewhere in the Bahamas. Come for the weekend to Mangion. Mangion. Is it all inclusive? No.

It is not all inclusive. No. No. It's the only a la carte resort. Mangion is a card game they only play in the Dakotas. You don't know how to play Mangion? You need six cards. It's the opposite of the Jewish game. a card game they only play in the Dakotas. You don't know how to play Manchion? You need six cards.

It's the opposite of the Jewish game. Yeah, Mahjong. Yeah, it's the opposite of Mahjong. Mahjong, it's Manchion. This one has Jesus. Which I love that you called that the Jewish game, but that is definitely like a Chinese game. Like Mahjong is not. It's totally Chinese,

but the only people in Florida that I know that play it are older Jewish people. Yes, correct. Because I think they're the I know that play it are older Jewish people. Yes, correct. Because I think they're the only ones that understand it. That's true. Okay, so Chance Mangione jumped over the counter of a rental car facility at the airport, grabbed keys, and then fled in the extremely appropriate 2017 Dodge Challenger. How did he know what car he had the keys to?

You just start going bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep already won. No matter what happens here, I got a challenger. But also his girlfriend is there with him and the whole time he's like, babe, babe, babe, babe. Come on, babe, babe, babe. Also, there's no way he walked through the door, jumped the counter. There had to be some sort of awkward loitering happening at some point, right? You need help, buddy? Why don't you look in the back and see if you guys have any more of those?

But he still made it out through the barrier. Yes. Somehow he had to have crashed through that because even if you guys have any more of those. But he still made it out through the barrier. Yes. Somehow he had to have crashed through that because even if you're a wizard, I'm a wizard at Avis, and I don't have to stand in lines. I go straight to the car, but you still have to show them something when you leave.

You have to show them the thing that this is the car. So that this doesn't happen. Kathleen, you are 100% right. Police say in the process of stealing the 2017 Dodge Challenger, a.k.a. Chance Monzeon's dreams come true. That's right. Monzeon drove down a one-way road over two spikes trips while fleeing. So, yeah, he hit the, like, you're going the wrong way out of the car rental place.

So he tried to avoid it by going the end. The car rental is like, we are protected for this by putting up- You don't think we've thought about this? Spike strips going the other way. Spike strips work. 100%. They work. At the time, police were able to spot the stolen car on I-24,

but Mangione did not stop for police. As though it's like, no shit. You think I'm going to stop for police? I just jumped the counter. It hurts. We've all been there. Sometimes the level of frustration you can reach, well, I've done it too, or Avis, you can just go get them.

But if you find yourself at an Enterprise or anywhere else, or not a Hertz or whatever, where you're like, you have to wait. The amount of frustration while waiting to get your rental car, because you're already there, and you just want to get going. And you're after a flight, typically. I wonder if there were people who cheered when they thought it was just a guy

taking this into his own hands and was like, I'm enough. Enough. Just guys, get our cars. He did what we wanted to do. Yeah.

You did it for me. We had the balls to do what we just couldn't. Chance Bonjan does sound like he could be a local legend around the nation. Did he say,

did he go to the, did he fly in for this? No, I think he's a local who's been eyeballing this. Oh, just a local decided to go, say, did he go to the, did he fly in for this? No, I think he's a local. Oh, just a local decided to go, oh, that's, yeah, okay. I think he might be

a magician. I think he might be a magician. Way easier. Way easier. We once did a story, Kathleen, where a guy was stealing cars

just to impress his teenage son who was also stealing cars. Stealing them and then parking them a block away. So it's so easy you could do it for your children's love. That's how easy you could

steal a car. Look, I get it, man. Police were able to spot the stolen car on I-24, but Mangione did not stop for police, as I said. Of course not. At the time, dispatchers received a call from Mangione's alleged girlfriend. I don't know if he's saying that's my girlfriend or she is saying it, but one of them is. I'm his girlfriend. He's like

alleged. Let's all let's not put a label on it. I don't know why we're getting so committed. There is here to call for Mangione's alleged girlfriend, identified as, perfect name, Christy Cardwell. Christy Cardwell from Nashville, Tennessee. Christy Cardwell is a St. Louis name.

She sounds like everyone we went to Parkway North High School with. It sounds like who bartended at my lake bar. Where's Christy? Come on. Where's Christy? I need another Bud Light. She's getting her tips frosted. Christy Cardwell has been kicked out of Kid Rock's Rockin' New Year's Eve Heart Attack Bar or whatever

it's called. She's been kicked out of that bar while working there. Christy Cardwell has skin cancer and still uses Danny Betts. 100%. Christy Cardwell has worn a necklace as an anklet. Christy Cardwell is not allowed to go to three Chuck E. Cheese. Christy Cardwell is still smoking and thinks vaping is for sissies.

And will tell you when you're vaping to your face. Christy Cardwell knows which one is the good gas station. will tell you when you're vaping to your face. Christy Cardwell knows which one is the good gas station. Christy Cardwell knows which gas stations have better pay and scratch offs. Christy Cardwell drinks beer with a straw.

Christy Cardwell, born with bangs. Okay. According to the affidavit, Cardwell told police she knew Mangione had stolen the car, but would not reveal his intentions until she received reward money. That's extortion. That is

not how reward money works. But like we said at the very beginning, she has a redneck plan. She has a plan. It is not all the way thought through. You guys give me the money. This is like I've seen in Boogie Nights. You give me the money. I give you Chance Mondrian. I give you the tips. Yeah.

She says, I will not reveal his intentions. He stole a car. That's the intention. He doesn't have any more intentions. Right. He's intended. He wants to drive. His car is on the table.

Yeah, it's jackpot. I got the car. We're on the highway, lady. What else do you want? Who cares that I'm just driving on rims at this point? 911, what's jackpot. I got the car. We're on the highway, lady. What else do you want? Who cares that I'm just driving on rims at this point? 911, what's your emergency? I know Chance Mangione. Okay.

He stole a car. We know that. I know his intentions. Give me the reward money. Not how this works. No. She said she knew, this is a quote, she knew the law very well and didn't have to give him up.

Okay. He knows the law very well and didn't have to give him up. She knows the law very well. Very well? Very well. Because she watches the ID channel. That's right. She knows. She's seen Evil Kin.

She's seen Love Thy Neighbor, Fear Thy Neighbor. Women Who Murder. Women Who Murder on Oxygen. Why do they do it? Police say that Cardwell told them she was actually in the stolen car and would give the exact location when she had reward money. This is extortion. By the way, as you're on the phone with them, you're giving them the location. Right. FYI.

Your cell phone is giving them the location. Technically, you're probably still on airport property. It's not easy to get out. No. Technically, you're probably still on airport property. It's not easy to get out. No. Police caught up with Cardwell, and she was booked into the Davidson County Jail on Tuesday for accessory after the fact.

That's right. That's right. She wouldn't tell him. According to the affidavit, Cardwell attempted to harbor and abet a fugitive intended to hinder his arrest and refused to provide aid to assist in Monchion's arrest. And I have to pick a bone with the last one. She offered aid. It was just on her terms.

She's like, I'll give you his location. It's not like she wasn't negotiating. She was just doing it poorly. Poorly. So if you're the police, do you play the game of giving her the money and then arresting her and taking that money back? Of course. Meet us here and we'll have the money and then arresting her and taking that money back. Of course. Meet us here and we'll have the money for you. You can give her

the money and swing by the next day at her house and go arrest her. That money's spent. Well, and I guarantee you, Christy Cardwell likes White Castle. And you say, give me White Castle and she'll show up because she's probably hungry. This has been a long day. It has.

And she's like, open it up. They're like, what? Chicken rings. She's like, my tab. Open it up. My tab. And I'll tell you when I'm done. Christy Cardwell has a tab at White Castle.

And I'll tell you when I'm done. She can say, I'll get you next time to White Castle. And she knows the law very well. Very well. Final thing. Yes. Just for fun. How old is Christy Cardwell?

Okay, Kathleen, how old is this gal? You know that she knows the law very well. Oh, yeah, right. She's 22. She allegedly has more friends. Kathleen didn't even blink. She did not blink. I'm going to say 28 looks 43.

Okay. Okay. I'm going to say 36. 36? Yeah. Okay. Clock's ticking on me. 22, 28, 36. Okay. One of you got within two okay so you know okay

good so somebody's about to feel good and you can all feel good right now because you don't know which one that's right but we'll end story two by telling you christy california cardwell i don't I love it. Is 38 years old. Oh, wow. Jesus. That is old to be running these shenanigans. Her boyfriend's 22. She's been around the law. She knows the law very well. She's entering her sexual peak.

38. I love it. 38. All right, Daniel, give us a tease on story three, if you will. Well, pretty sure on people, you're going to get to hear a little bit of extra with our friend. But story number three is a guy calls in a bomb threat for one of the dumbest reasons ever. I can't wait to hear it. And Patreon fans, you're going to get a dumb story from Kathleen Madigan that we're going to hear after this.

So good. She's been around. She knows dumb. She's seen dumb. I know it's super dumb. I know it's super dumb. She's lived in the lake of the goddamn Ozarks where we know there's dumb just is born and bred. Dumb grows on trees.

So we'll do that on the other side of the break. Kathleen Madigan is with us. This is Dumb People Town. Stick around. Make it sound. For more Dumb People Town. All right, Daniel. Take us home.

Ready? Yep. Sent in by Leah Harris at CheekyChick1016. I think this is the first time that Leah's ever sent in. Thank you, Leah. Thank you. Hashtag Dumb People Town at Daniel Van Couric. Leah, great to meet you.

Welcome to town. All right. McDonald's customer calls in bomb threat over dipping sauces. Wow. First of all, McDonald's only has like two, right? They don't even have good dipping sauces. Right. First of all, McDonald's only has like two, right? They don't even have good dipping sauces. Right.

They have three, I bet. I bet they have honey mustard, barbecue, and ranch. My mouth just started watering. What is wrong with you? What is wrong with me? What is wrong with me? You are nuts.

Dude, I've eaten way too many chicken nuggets in the last like two years. Well. More than I've ever had in my life. What menu item do you think plays into this whole story? If you eat too many chicken nuggets, it can reverse the vaccine. More than I've ever had in my life. What menu item do you think plays into this whole story?

Nuggets, baby. If you eat too many chicken nuggets, it can reverse the vaccine. They did this. That might be true. You know what? The great thing is you could put that on the internet right now, and someone will believe it before the end of the day. Just put a Q at the end of it. Okay.

The McDonald's customer who called in a bomb threat to an Iowa restaurant because he did not receive dipping sauces with his chicken nuggets order has pleaded guilty to harassment charge. This is serious. So you don't ask, you don't roll around and say, hey. They used to have like Szechuan, right? They did have some sort of, yeah, it was like a sweet and sour deal. Yeah.

It was gross. Yeah. I think as part of the marketing campaign for Mulan, they did Szechuan sauce, I believe. And then Rick and Morty got to bring it back. Yeah, that's right. I remember that. Okay. According to Ankeny, A-N-K-E-N-Y,

look, everybody who loves to yell at me on Twitter, first of all, thank you for listening and downloading. That's what I care about most. Secondly, just understand, if I give you a word you've never seen or pronounced, good luck. You won't be able to do it either. Good luck. Okay.

Ankeny, Ankeny, Ankeny. Let's go Ankeny Police Department. A McDonald's assistant manager told cops that a man who called the restaurant was irate due to the fact that he requested how many chicken nuggets and then received no dipping sauces for them. Okay, so how many chicken nuggets do you order? How many chicken nuggets? First of all, how many chicken nuggets? I know you've eaten too many, but what's your order? Four, five?

Four? What am I, a baby? Four? I don't know. I don't think I can eat more than four. Twenty. Twenty. Twenty?

Twenty? Oh, my God. Two 10-packs. I do not weigh 7,000 pounds than four. 20. 20. 20? Oh, my God. Two 10-packs. I do not weigh 7,000 pounds. 20. Because he loves to hike. He loves to hike. I love to hike.

I walk like 16,000 steps a day. I could eat. I don't do it every day. No, of course not. But I'm telling you, if I drove up to McDonald's, I'm going to get my money's worth. It's like when you go to an ATM and take money out, and then you know they're going to charge you for it. Jason, you could have given me 20 guesses, and I don't know that I would have guessed 20.

Two 10-packs. Easy. I was going to say, I didn't know you could order 20. You say, I want 20 McNuggets, and they'll give you two 10-packs. Okay, so we know that Jason's mark is 20. Ran? I mean, there used to be a 20-piece McNugget. There used to be a 50.

There might still be. There is a 50. I know there's a briefcase of White Castles. It's called the Crave Case. There is? There is. Yes. The know there's a briefcase of White Castles. It's called the Crave Case. There is. Yes. The Crave Case. Crave Case, baby. And you only have it slid to you in a parking

garage. Is that correct? You have to order it. When you order it, you have to write it down on a piece of paper and slide it to them. And then they say meet me in the garage and then you open it up in a light. And a lot of people don't think, but it does come with a leather handle. Oh. kick it over kick the white castle so what's yours fran i mean i would say 10 or 20 i mean that's just what it is

okay you're so good for kathleen i don't want to make me and your daughter on the road no you have to get nuggets and nephews eat to make nuggets i like i'll eat one if they ordered them and i'm starving but i always feel like they're empty I bite it and there's nothing in it. There is a space. I'd rather just get a McDonald's Happy Meal of a cheeseburger and be good with that. So the cheeseburger, the patty is too small for the bread and it gets lost in the bread. And the McNuggets, there is a space space between the outside what I guess we'll call the the space between uh and then there's the space and then the chicken there is a space

you're right that's always my first bite and then I go well that was a waste of time so I don't want to keep going no I would never order them as an adult for myself and I'm not saying I'm not beyond ordering bad things. Of course. That is really, truly. I make fun of my mom because she does it. I'm like, the fries are good, though. Fries are good for McDonald's.

Oh, my God. They used to be better. They took the stuff out. What is it? The good stuff. They took the not the peanut oil. They took whatever made them good. The meat.

They took it out. It was like a bit of meat sauce. Really? Probably. I feel like when I eat chicken nuggets, I get a weird mouth coat. Like there's like a... All right. I'm going to drive on the way home right now.

So we're going to... How many chicken nuggets? Knowing that Randy's rowing minimum 10, Jay is a stock 20. Solid 20. Did he order and then got no sauce? Kathleen is like a two, a one or two. I'm a one or two. I'm a two to four. All right. So Kathleen, how many did he order and get no sauces? And this is two I'm a one or two to four all right so Kathleen

how many did he order and get no sauces and this is why he called it he's mad well more than six I'd say he's this is I this has happened to all of us where you've gotten home you thought you had your to-go food you open the bag something's missing you're sure awful but your own your level of pissed only goes up by how actually hungry you are. Yes. Like if you're starving, you're really pissed that the shit's not in there. I would say, well, apparently if dudes eat one or ten, I'm going to say ten. No less than ten.

Okay, ten. Jason's going. 20. 20? 40. 40? He had 40 and then like no sauce. This guy ordered. It's like having a ton of shampoo on and then then like no sauce. This guy ordered.

It's like having a ton of shampoo on and then the water doesn't work. He ordered 30 chicken nuggets. Oh, my God. Splitting it over here. Wow. We were both kind of right. I'm going to tell you this. 30 chicken nuggets, she's not coming back.

When the worker. 30 chicken nuggets. Like Kathleen had to take a breath thinking of 30 chicken nuggets. Is that how they give them to you? Three tens? Three tens. That's how they sterilize people.

They eat 30 of these and then you'll never have kids again. You'll take three stacks, just like in poker. I think that's how COVID started. It is. Give me the Wuhan sterilization. Through the McNugget.

Replied that the patron could return so that he calls i don't know my sauces the the worker replied that the patron could return to the restaurant and retrieve the sauces the man said quote no i'm gonna blow up the store and punch you in the face he is hungry so wait he's gonna blow up the store and then punch him in the face your order's way wrong they maybe like the punch in the face is like the sauce. Ready for this name? So they're not going to get that. Ready for this name?

This guy has only ever been the third owner of a car. Right. His name is Robert Golwitzer. G-O-L-W-I-T-Z-E-R. If you told me that a Golwitzer is like the organ that Ray Charles played, I would be like, what did he do most of his stuff? On the Goldwitzer. That's what he did.

Right? That's where he got that great sound. If you told me it was the carnival ride no one goes on, I would go, 100%. The Goldwitzer? Well, it's not safe. Exactly. You can see the screws coming out. I also think it would be on that show, the American Pickers,

is that one motorcycle they only made four of. Yeah, it's perfect. Especially in Iowa. He found the handlebars to a Goldwitzer. It's a fucking Goldwitzer. Oh, my God. Look, it's in his barn in Des Moines. All right, if I take the lamp and the wagon,

will you throw in the Goldwitzer for $1,200? No, I won't. It's a Goldwitzer. Not if you want there to be another segment on this show, buddy. I ain't giving you any of that shit. I'm willing to do $20 on the ice skate. Go on.

Ice skate. Just one. We are decorating a TGI Fridays. I need one of everything. So he goes, hey, you can go get the sauces. Nope. Gonna blow up the store, then punch your dead body in the face. Bob Golwitzer, who lives, how many miles do you think he lives from this McDonald's? I think he's probably looking out the window at the place as he's saying it. I think he's a mile away.

Okay. He lives five miles from the eatery. Okay. He was quickly identified as a suspect since the threatening call was placed from a number associated with Bob Golwitzer, according to a criminal play. Call ID. Yeah. They just were like, Star 69. This is an act of starvation.

This guy went crazy because of a level of hunger, and then he didn't want to go back to get his sauces. We've all been there. They were offering the sauces. We just didn't know this bananas. Her dad is a lawyer. If your dad was counseling this person, you'd be like, you had temporary hunger insanity.

Hangry insanity. And then if you started talking to the jury, we've all felt this way, right? You got home, you thought your order was right, there's things missing, and you're infuriated because you sat in that drive-thru. I could do the whole case.

You sat in that drive-thru patiently. You sat there patiently for 38 minutes, and this is the bullshit you get when you get home? No. Look at Bob Goldwater. That's a man that goes to McDonald's four to seven times a week. I'm telling you, there are four to five times a month that Kathleen's dad says to one of his friends, she could have been a lawyer. She could have been a week. I'm telling you, there are four to five times a month that Kathleen's dad says to one of his friends,

she could have been a lawyer. She could have been a lawyer. She could have been a really good lawyer. He says it to them. She doesn't get to hear it. You guys could have been lawyers. And they're like, oh, so you're not proud of her?

No, I'm very proud of her. She's doing very well. She's successful. She's wonderful, supporting life. She could have been a lawyer. She could have been a lawyer. I mean, I had a whole practice

ready to give to somebody and nobody wanted it. There you go. You just made closing arguments right there. She could have been a lawyer. She could have been a lawyer. I mean, I had a whole practice ready to give to somebody, and nobody wanted it. There you go. You just made closing arguments right there. The movie of this would have been Inherit the Broken Wind. There it is. And Kathleen, that was good, Rand.

Kathleen, you know how that ends, your whole speech? You go, and how many of you had said something out of anger just because you were angry? And then you go, and let me ask you, when you said that thing, did you mean it? The defense rests. That's right. That's right. Some guys like, fuck no. It's like, yeah, we got him.

And then she closes. She closes her briefcase, which is full of white cash. We're done here. Walks by the jury. My briefcase gets shut and then the jury sees my White Castle thing and then they want to go with me so they can vote with me. They'll follow you anywhere.

Lunch break isn't for four hours. I'm all about fast food too. They know that. They sense that. They'll follow you anywhere. I just hope Bob on the phone was at some point he had to say,

you guys know me. I'm in there all the time. Driving it over to my house. They probably do. There was a Del Taco down by Manhattan Beach that the lady knew me so well that when I would drive through, I'd be like, hi. And she'd go, you just want the same Kathleen? I'd go, yeah.

Stop it. Through the drive-thru? Amazing. I got a bean burrito and a Diet Coke. She knew my voice. There you go. During police questioning, Bob Goldwitzer told cops that he had gone to McDonald's and the staff had gotten his order wrong.

Bob stated, they keep calling Robert, but I'm going with Bob. Bob stated that he was very upset by this and called in to investigators. Yeah. Bob Goldwitzer recalled telling a McDonald's employee, this is what he said. Now, remember, the guy goes, the worker says, he said he was going to blow the place up and come punch me in the face. All I said to him. Bob goes The worker says, he said he was going to blow the place up And come punch me in the face Bob goes, here's what I said In other words

Here's the lie I'm going to tell you Here's what I said, okay Fuck that kid, alright Here's what I said I hope someone blows up your building This is a quote And I hope someone punches you in the face And I hope If that someone turns out to be me, then I can't control that.

It doesn't have to be me, but I hope it happens. This guy. Bob Goldwitzer. You know what, though? Bob knew nobody probably recorded that call. So you say what you said. I'll say what I said. Goldwitzer added the quote. He had no intentions to blow up the McDonald's. Why would I? So you say what you said And then Goetzer added that

He had no intentions to blow up the McDonald's Why would I? I love it there I'm there more than these goddamn That makes no sense I get coffee at night There You think I'd blow that place up? I've opened a month's worth of mail in that place

You tell me I'm not going to go there If I blow it up will I get my sauce? Ask've opened a month's worth of mail in that place. If I blow it up, will I get my sauce? There you go. Ask me where I was on Thanksgiving last year. You're going to tell me I'll blow that up? Bob, are you crying? I'm not crying. I'm saying who asked me where I was? Oh, God.

Goldworth was originally charged with making a false report about an explosive or incendiary device. They were fined with the threat to punch him in the face. Let's leave it here. Final story. So much fun today. How old is Robert Bob Goldwitzer? Bob ain't young, I don't think. I think Bob's 53.

53 years old. Great guess. 53 used to sound so old to me. It's not. I'm going to say 67. 67. Maybe 61. 61. I agree with you. He going to say 67. 67. And he's 61. 61.

I agree with you. He's an older guy. Okay. As profilers so far, we've only been kind of okay at this. No, but that's all right. Sometimes we get it and sometimes we're on it. But no, we're all good. Thank you guys for listening.

This has been a treat. Oh, my God. Bob Goldwitzer is 42 years old. Oh, Kathleen. He's on the younger end of getting angry. He's like a young old guy. He's a young old guy. If he's doing this at 42, I don't want to see him at 61.

No. No. He's not going to make it. Or 52 or 53. 10 more years of this bullshit, and the supply chain's getting weirder. It's going to get weirder for Bob. Yep. Six more years of McDonald's on a regular basis. They throw in McNuggets, and he's going to be in the ground. He doesn't live to see 53. It's going to get weirder for Bob. Six more years of McDonald's on a regular basis.

They throw in McNuggets and he's going to be in the ground. He doesn't live to see 53. He's going to be in the ground. Kathleen Madigan, we loved having you on the show. Let's do it in person sometime. This was fun. It's good to see you. Can't wait to see you again sometime in the near future.

Yeah, next time I come to Burbank, which I'll be never. But I might. I might. I might. You never know. Maybe we'll meet in St. Louis or something. Or if we swing through Nashville. Yeah, come might. I might. I might. You never know. Maybe we'll meet in St. Louis or something. Or if we swing through Nashville. Yeah, come to Nashville.

Yeah. If we come through Nashville and do this show live, maybe we'll grab you. You'll come on and do it live with us. Yeah, and you know, there's a giant Sirius radio hookup here, and they'll totally give you guys a little studio to do whatever you want. I already, I'll make sure they do it. And that new venue, Planet of the Tapes in Nashville, or no, that's in Louisville. It's in Louisville. Yeah, yeah. We'll do it. We'll new venue, Planet of the Tapes in Nashville, or no, that's in Louisville. It's in Louisville.

Yeah, yeah. We'll do it. We'll get something. All right, go watch Kathleen. Go see her. KathleenMadigan.com. You can check out all of her stuff. Check out the podcast.

And, oh shit, we've got to get back to work. Boom. Dum, dum, dum, dum. Dum, dum, dum, dum. Dum, dum, dum, dum. Dum, dum, dum, dum. Dum, dum, dum, dum. Dum, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb