Dumb People Town - Krystyna Hutchinson & Corinne Fisher - Cocaine Candle

Episode Date: March 1, 2022

This week Krystyna Hutchinson & Corinne Fisher comes to town to hang with Daniel, Jason and Randy. The first story is a cautionary tale of indulgence. The second story dives into some candles. The final story is about McDonald's latest experiment.Visit athleticgreens.com/DPT for a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5FREE travel packs with your first purchase. Take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritionalinsurance!This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp and DUMB PEOPLE TOWN listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp dot com slash DPT. Go to HelloFresh.com/dpt16 and use code dpt16 for up to 16 free meals AND 3 free gifts!Secure your online data TODAY by visiting ExpressVPN.com/dpt and you can get an extra three months FREE when you choose your plan.

Star Beans, I am. Hey townies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population. We couldn't get it together population guys we fucked corinne christina hi guys welcome back to the show i wish we were in the same room together but i'll take it any way i can get it with you guys me too that's very nice thank you yeah it's not great to have you guys back like literally one of my favorite live shows ever was all of us at the bell house that was fun and that guy who was stretching his penis remember that story

with the weights Ecuador who had like weights tied to and he was counting the foreskin not the actual I mean when you can't feel emotional pain dick stretching will do listen if that makes him happy, and this is me totally inhabiting you guys

in your awesome podcast, if this makes him happy, I'm all for it. It's not hurting anyone, but kind of, I guess, hurting himself, but he's okay with it. Like, I'm good. I'm good. Fair enough.

Fair enough. Fair enough. Well, I'm so happy you guys are here um jason will be joining in a scant little bit uh but uh we you guys have a stand-up special that's coming out we'll talk all about that top of the second segment uh but the world's getting dumber i don't know if you guys are feeling it in new york city has it gotten even dumber in the last couple years what do you guys think uh yeah because everyone's just fighting about covet and whether or not to wear a mask meanwhile there's like war there's like a you know an imminent war happening uh there's uh concentration camps i mean a lot of stuff going on that's more seems more pressing

i moved apartments and i um purposely gave my television to my brother so i in my new place don't have a tv because i just look out the window yeah and i actually have been protecting myself from the stupidity of others uh pretty well recently just cocooning a little bit i kind of like that that's a great plan um yeah i just think uh you know as far as all the things you were talking about corinne i do my own research on that stuff so it's you know everything's all good but after I research it the way that I want to research oh your own yeah well I mean that that is the beauty of the internet though you can come to whatever conclusion you want to come to right which a lot of people like surprise no one's surprised anymore just I know how it's gonna come because I'll find

I'll back the information like if you just hear like the literally and this is all you hear in New York all the time when you're walking down the streets, just beeping trucks backwards. I'm like, is no one driving forward in this fucking city? No, it's all. Do you want to think that spiders make cotton candy? Someone on the Internet will agree with you. Yeah, you can find a stat, a survey, a pie graph for anything that you want to believe. Someone's made it.

So with that backdrop, we are going to jump right into a story because we have one of our awesome fans send us our stories you guys know how this goes uh at dan van kirk on twitter and hashtag dumb people town and then he knows who sent it first daniel my friend let's do it here we go yeah this uh this was sent in by vr or death it seems severe for me but at brew pounder thank you at wait hang on vr or death i This seems severe for me, but at brew pounder. Thank you. Wait, hang on. VR or death.

I mean, does it really come to that? That's, that's the virtual hill you're going to die on. Have you guys done VR? I have an Oculus headset. I love it. There's this one game in quotes called the plank. It's Richie's plank experience.

It's all animated. So you don't, you know, like it doesn't look real, but there's like a plank on the 25th story of a building and you walk out

and it's terrifying really would you that is the thing that's crazy to me like you know the Chinese you know that like

the glass bridge in China that goes out over like I don't know it's 3,000 feet up like if there was a virtual thing of that I don't know if I could do it could you guys do it really I don't know it's 3,000 feet up like if there was a virtual thing of that

I don't know if I could do it could you guys do it really I don't know I almost shit my pants virtual though I know I would just lose my brain because I'm super scared of that stuff but I mean that is amazing so it's even animated yeah the VR is scary there's like a

I've done the Oculus 2 my best friend has one and there's like some like zombie ones that just get like a little too real. And if I could see if you're playing it alone in your house at night, you're like, this is too much. Okay, they're here. They're literally here. They're here.

Oh my yes. I'd say VR death, Dan. I get it. Yeah. At brew pounder. So also likes to drink. Here's the headline woman at all. You can eat buffet rushed to hospital um why well it's a sushi

buffet okay she went mercury poison she went hardcore uh also horrible like newscaster funny writing this california woman was on a roll oh i knew it was going there i know i know i was like she uh she at a sushi all you can eat buffet and you're like mercury poisoning i'm like no she heard the comedy of jeremy piven immediately rushed to the hospital there you go ran i love that shade danielle shapiro wanted to get her money's worth at an all-you-can-eat sushi buffet at Sushi 85 restaurant in Mountain View, California last month. But after indulging a little too much, her uncrooked delights left her feeling a bit raw inside. I know. I hate it.

These people need to be punched. Do any of you guys do all-you-can-eat sushi? I don't do sushi. I love all-you-can-eat buffets, but not sushi can eat buffets but not sushi that's disgusting i love a buffet i love a buffet golden corral and ryan's were staples in my childhood an old country buffet ponderosa old country buffet hometown buffet and you would just christina just stick your hand under the chocolate waterfall oh my god gather it in yeah my parents weren't emotionally connected to me so i just went off and got my own stuff and then i would experiment with like textures and temperatures

and i got like a hot fudge cake at old country buffet and i'll put cold ice cream on it and i'm like this is this is happiness you're like i might go into chemistry i am an alchemist guys i know how to put things together i think it I think it was with Michael Ian Black we were talking about buffets. Maybe I'm wrong. I don't remember, but food and Michael Ian Black go hand in hand. And I was talking about that feeling when you're a kid

when they do let you go make your own plate and you feel like when they walk into the candy part of like Willy Wonka, especially with a chocolate font and you're essentially Gustav but like you walk in and you're like I can anything here anything the light touches yeah

that's it that's so true I have done all you can eat sushi have you ran I have done all you can eat sushi once and it was a crazy one that came by on a conveyor belt and you pay a certain one that came by on a conveyor belt and yep yep yep been there you pay a certain amount and then you can just so it's not even like you're walking up to a table full of sushi you don't get to do the shame walk another plate for this big boy that's right

there is like a little thing it's there's like a show along with it you know it gets delivered to you on this little conveyor belt and you just pay and so again it's sushi it's small so you're kind of like you it's almost like poker chips at a casino where a 25 chip is the same as a five dollar chip and you just don't or you know like you don't think about it and so it all is the same size and all you're like oh this is fine and then i the next thing you know i've had like way too much jay was it one of those ones where they charge you for the food that you don't eat because that's what the the specific thing about the sushi buffets is if you're there's plates left on your table you're overcharged for those this is like it's like playing gin with someone and you show your cards and you're like wait i i only i had a king and a and a 10 i'm screwed anyway so yeah

that's it jay do you mess with uh all you can eat sushi no because i have a limit and once i hit that limit i would still because of the all you can eat just be forcing it in just to make it bring down the cost bring down the cost of each piece yes just's like, if I have 12 more spicy tuna hand rolls, then each one is only like 12 cents. She's now doing the math of how low she can make each one cost. Danielle Shapiro was trying to get that

cost per down. Following the binge, Danielle Shapiro was rushed to the emergency room with severe stomach pains. That's where she was diagnosed with gastroesophageal reflux disease commonly known as acid reflux by the way how great would this be if this was this to me would be the greatest episode of i didn't know i was pregnant congrats it's sushi i love that show so much. Yeah. She, why is your name?

Tempura? Funny story. Yeah. Hilarious. Danielle shared the experience on a tick tock on December 23rd. Merry Christmas in which she shows off the mountains of food she consumed in one sitting and the subsequent trip to the hospital that left her with IVs in her arms.

Her warning to sushi lovers has gone viral with over 11.3 million views. Wait, Dan, are we at the point now where we just like we're not embarrassed by anything more at anymore? We're like, let's just share this online and I did this dumb thing. I mean, if you were starting a tick tock

and you were like, oh, I'm gonna make tick tocks about me going buck on all you can eat sushi. If you end up in the hospital, you can't just stop telling people what happened, right? I mean, in a normal society, you 100% can, but in our society, no

way you got to close that loop, so to speak. Yeah, for sure. So anyway, she's on. She's on tick tock doing this. All you can eat sushi gone wrong she captioned the video she started she shared it first on december 22nd i'm a huge fan of sushi i like to eat it a couple times a month if i'm lucky by the way i'm a huge fan of sushi like that to me is a justification like you don't need to say that you're huge if you're having sushi

you like it no one is like you know what i hate sushi but i'm gonna go to an all you eat we know you're a huge fan of sushi like don't say that like that allowed you to do this yeah like sushi's a huge leap from like the rest of america it's like if you're like i think i'm gonna get a burger yeah i'm gonna get a hot dog like those things are in the ballpark of each other but like you're going to make a choice to eat sushi. You don't suddenly say, I don't know how I feel about it, so I'm just going to go to an all-you-can-eat buffet. You have to love it.

Right. Yeah. You have to love it or at least be in some sort of competition with yourself. So she's a huge fan. She planned a trip to dine on Japanese fare with her friend. We were both looking forward to an all-you-can-eat sushi experience, which to me translates as we didn't eat all day we like saved up for this yeah food allowance saved up our deal of meals for that night our dinner how long do you guys want to think do you want to guess they were at the sushi restaurant? Well, the crazy thing about sushi is,

I don't know if you guys feel this way, but like my sushi meals are literally like 27 minutes. I'm like, you're going to go out for a thing. We get there and I'm like, okay. And you get the food and then you're done. And you're like,

wow, uh, it's eight 26. Let's go home. It's just terrible. It's not a long meal. Do you want to go to half hour in? No, I think she was there

no let's let these guys guess first okay i would say is there a time limit though sometimes buffets like the real tacky ones have a time limit like in uh vegas sometimes like the lower end ones like you know one hour maximum i would say three hours though if you're getting physically ill although you could probably get physically ill faster yeah christina you're going three hours too okay jason jay what do you think i'm gonna say two hours okay i think i again sushi is this crazy thing that if it was a golden corral three hours yes that's what i'm talking about i think she was only there for like an hour 25 okay this one's for fun then we're gonna get to the real guests. Their dinner lasted two hours.

Okay. Because we were so stuffed and we had to keep taking breaks. You don't get to wait for your stomach to come back around. Also, you're not summoning Everest. Yeah, and food's not a challenge. It's just you're hurting yourself. You're cutting yourself with sushi. Right. And who's

her friend like i blame her friend who's like daniel enabler i bet you couldn't have that baked crab hand she's like yes i can you never finish anything remember your last four relationships you god damn it give me that quick i have wondered though how many pieces of salmon sushi I could eat and I bet you if I was just doing that easily easily 12 100 100 maybe 20 oh my god I ate sushi last night and like it was just like a valentine's day prefix and I'm like that what they gave me was more than enough and I can eat a lot and I was like I'm good all right, let me ask you this, because it's the day after Valentine's Day that we're recording this, but this will drop later. But did you go into the pre-fee like,

all right, we know they're going to try and screw us. Whatever, it is what it is. I never think that. And so you take that out of it. Wait, are there screw jobs on Pricks Fix? Because I've never thought that. Are you joking? No, I just went into it because I was like,

oh, I want to try new stuff and i'm not super adventurous with sushi because seafood can be scary and like we did get you know urch sea urchin and like a big slice of eel but i was like i'm just gonna just put whatever it was a michelin starred restaurant and i was like i'm gonna put whatever they put on my plate in my mouth and try something new because that's the fun of that's the fun of a pre-selected chef menu to try something new well so that and that is and there's a place in in la called uh nozawa or sugarfish i don't know if you guys have ever been to sugarfish i've heard of sugarfish so good and there's a little thing on the menu that you order it's called trust me which is the way

they used to do it nozawa would do it in the when he had a small place in the in studio city and he just bring whatever he bought that day, they bring it out to you and you eat it. And you're like, well, I don't know if I like Red Snapper. Well, you better eat it because you said I'm going to trust him. So you basically went in – Yeah, you went in and – You know, Rand, do you know when I went to –

so the old Nozawa only had like nine seats in it, and I was in there like years ago, andmmy lee was in there too i'm like you ordered the extra long hand roll okay um putting his dick on the salmon but there was a moment where he was like i want something else on this and nozawa just looked at him and we're all close like we're in close quarters and i'm like, that's Tommy Lee? Not far away from the height of the Tommy Lee-isms. This is like 15, 16 years ago. Nozawa was like, no. Didn't say a word. I respect that.

Shook his head. Pointed the knife. No. You respect my art form. I'll respect yours. See ya. He was the boss. I don't know if Nozawa respected Tommy Lee's art form, but he might. He was a huge Nikki six. He's a huge Nikki six. I guarantee you guys, I could eat 15. If I'm just doing salmon sushi, I would a little

bit of wasabi, a little bit of soy sauce. I could do 15. No problem. If that's the meal, no problem. Oh my, I could eat so much more. Oh yeah. You guys eat 25 tacos from Taco Bell. Oh, that's when I was in high school. 25 Taco Bell tacos? That's wild. 10, I could see. 25, I was like, that's actually impressive. Jason only orders McNuggets like 50 at a time.

I could see a 50-piece nugget. Thank you. That's not crazy. The oily film alone. We should have been competitive eaters instead of comedians. We still can. We still can. I thought you were going to say we should have been lawyers, but whatever.

We both got into law school. That's what you must do. Okay, so they took two hours. They took breaks. I'm going to ask you guys how many rolls, how many soups. And I will tell you this. She started off with miso soup for is it goises? How do you say

it? G-Y-O-Z-A and jalapeno poppers. Then she got into the rolls. Why were jalapeno poppers at a sushi restaurant? It's all you can eat. They probably are pulling everything out of the bag.

She had Doritos. She had jalapeno poppers. She had Doritos. She had jalapeno bobbers. She had hot wings. She got funnel cake. She got the loaded potato skins. All of it. Two Slim Jims. What is back there?

What is this place? Okay, here. I looked it up. Sushi 85 in Mountain View, California. 818 reviews. Three stars. Three stars. Three stars. Those aren't Michelins.

Those aren't Michelins. Those are Yelps. Those are Yelp stars. What if someone really took the Yelp stars like they were Michelin stars? And guys, we just got our fourth Yelp star this year. There's a ceremony. Glass half full. Their jalapeno

popper is stuffed with spicy tuna. Okay. It's like a little bit of a... It's a sushi twist. Right. Bar favorite. How many rolls? Christina, we'll let you go first. I don't eat sushi. So is one

roll one thing or is a roll four of the little one roll would be about six to eight pieces depending on okay. So I would say maybe 20 20 rolls. Okay Corinne. I mean for per person or per are we going or is it for the whole table

just her just her seven rolls. I don't know how big this woman is, but more than I'm going to say seven. Okay. I know I'm going to sound crazy, but I think it has to be like 35 rolls. She went to the hospital.

She'd lose yourself in the illusion. I would say she How many did you say, Jay? 35. And you said 20? 35. Yeah. And you said 20? I said 20. Damn.

I just don't know how it's physically possible for this person. Yeah. I'm going to show you a picture. I think she had 17 rolls. 17? Mm-hmm. We have more fun to go on this, but I'll tell you right now, the amount of rolls she ate that sent her to the hospital

after having poppers and soup and gyozas is 32 wow that's that's like so insane wim hof can swim under an iceberg and this chick can eat 32 rolls man that's right your brain is powerful on low side, that's 180 pieces. On the low side. It's like a Valentine's chocolate bar. I would be incapacitated if I ate three rolls and then all the stuff that she just said. So that's where I was like, oh, I can go.

And like I said, I can eat a lot. But I need to know the stats on this woman. So wait, I don't know if we've told this story. I'm sure we have on this show. But our friend in college, he went to school up in Ithaca, New York. And his buddy, they went to this place called, what was the name? It was like Hungry Jack's or whatever the name of this place is. That steak place that they give you a 72-ounce steak if you can finish it in an hour.

Oh, my God. You get your name, 72 ounces, it's insane. You get your name on a toilet bowl plaque that is like when you're in college you're like that's the great that's the hall of fame i want to be on and his friend dan who our buddy eric his friend dan who was a really funny guy this is the thing that he said he said as he ate more steak the less funny he got so like his sense the more steak that went in and they would he would finish it and you'd be like we're done right and there'd still be 20 minutes left and then they'd take it back in the

kitchen and scrape off the like the gristle and like you gotta eat that too and sides and the other he finished it with like i don't know three minutes to spare but he was like he was not he was not the same person for a few weeks afterwards oh my god well let me break down what she ate she had all that starter stuff. Then she moved on to eight Green Dragon rolls, eight Snow rolls, eight California rolls, eight Wakami rolls, and

a helping of edamame. No way. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, just trying to cap that. Oh my God, that's eight California rolls. 64 California roll individual pieces.

That's unlike anything I've ever heard. It's a workout for her jaw. I know, right? Damn. She said, immediately after dinner, we were so full, I had to sit in my car for about 30 minutes before driving home. And contemplate life. Yeah.

My stomach felt very firm, and all the sushi and the rice had probably expanded in my stomach. Oh my God. Don't, you're not a doctor, all right? You're barely going to see one. I did my own research. She's going to see one. You're barely making good food decisions.

She said she went to her partner's house to sleep it off that night, is the quote. I went to sleep at my boyfriend's house and I had the worst stomach ache. I didn't think much of it since I had a huge meal. I'm not a morning morning person so when i woke up around 6 a.m the next day i knew something was wrong she she added my stomach and chest had intense pain and

it was hard to take deep breaths her boyfriend and her grandmother reportedly drove her to the hospital i love that they both went where she was diagnosed with acid reflux and given medication medication i'm going to show you guys a picture of her hang on a second so in my opinion like six of those california rolls are now up in her chest because they can't make their way down into the stomach she's like uh she's like when you fuck up at tetris that's what she's just like keeps going up one side i've eaten to that capacity and it's not even close to that. I've eaten where I can like feel it in my like fucking neck.

You know, I did it with lobster bisque soup and you're like that's going to if I tip over it'll just start pouring out. It'll all come out. Yeah. You're like a full cup. All right, let's take it. Here's what she looks like.

This is her in her heyday and then at the hospital. She's little. I knew that she would be. Anyone who can eat that much is always little. Really heavy people can't eat as much. And I think it's because of metabolism. Look at her. Her metabolism must be so incredibly fast because she's really thin.

Can I ask you guys a question, though? Am I the only person who does not eat the shrimp tail? Yeah, it looks like she's about to eat the shrimp tail. Wait, what? Ew. If it's tempura, you can. It looks like it might be tempura. It is tempura.

You can eat that? Yeah, you can eat it, but it's crispy and good if it's tempura. Why does her hair look better after she slept? Because she got all the protein from the fish. Right. That's right. I was going to say the omega-3s, whatever, is like working.

Oh, yeah. Skin's incredible. We'll wrap it up with this. Following the treatment, Danielle admitted it took several days to recover and feel normal again. Despite her trauma, she won't quit her favorite dish. I'll definitely eat sushi again. This experience has not ruined sushi for me or the all-you-can-eat sushi experience. What?

I did learn that next time I need to listen to my body and take things slower. I would say listen to your body and stop. I would say food's not a competition. Right. Exactly. Neither is love, you guys. I would say this about her.

How great would it be if like she can't like pronounce certain vowels now you know she ate so much sushi it affects like other parts of her life black off the brain that's story number one friends oh my god good stuff i can't believe it and it is just isn't that a the idea of consumption and not stopping when you have have had so much is like wow it's an all-american tale right yeah it is it's an all-american chill and involving a very japanese food all right uh we're gonna take a break we come back we're gonna hear about the new stand-up special that our two friends have that is out there it sounds so awesome because it's just a very unique way of presenting the whole thing uh if you've seen them live you know what we're talking about uh we've got the

guys we fucked gals on the show we'll be right back uh with dumb people town hook anywhere stick around make a sound there's more dumb people town hey guys welcome back to the show before we get into all the exciting stuff that our guests are doing and ways to support them. Daniel Van Kirk, reminding people you're back on the road. I am. I'm in the Pacific Northwest on my first run of the Together Again Tour. First run

of this year anyway. So if you are in Salem, Bend, Portland, Seattle, Mount Vernon, go to DanielVanKirk.com or if you have people in that area of the Pacific Northwest near any of those cities, tell them to come on out. Everything's at DanielVanKirk.com or if you have people in that area, the Pacific Northwest, near any of those cities, tell them to come on out. Everything's at danielvankirk.com plus digital shows and good hangs

and podcasts and Patreon stuff. All of it's there. Just go to danielvankirk.com. And for us, superschoolhours.com, we have a bunch of dates coming up. We're going to be in Moon Tower. Are you guys going to Moon Tower this year? Not this.

It's the JFL one, right? We just were at Moon Tower. Yeah, the last one. I know. I loved being with you guys there. That was so fun. Yeah, we'll be. And we've had great times with you guys at that festival.

Good fun hanging out. We'll be there in April doing a live Dumb People Town. Cleveland. Cleveland in March. I love that. Hilarities. I love that place. And then the Crocodile in Seattle in May.

And then we're working on a date in the middle of June. And then this summer, our show on UFC Fight Pass, The Nosebleeds, which is our cheap seats reboot. It's so fun. We're in the midst of doing it right now. We're shooting it in March. Six episodes drops. We are so excited. For fans of our show and fans of what we do, you will love this show. I can only tell you how much fun we're having making it. And in the process, we haven't even shot anything yet. It's all been in the writing phase. I cannot wait. We'll tell you as that comes. And now we come to our guests, Christina, Corinne.

Your special dropped. Your special day dropped. Please. So it's both of you guys doing stand-up and then you guys on stage at the top and at the end doing some really cool and fun stuff that fans of your live shows will know exactly what it is and people who don't know it maybe some of our listeners get introduced to it because it's amazing let them know let us know how we can get it and all that good stuff yeah you can head over to youtube.com slash guys we fucked without the you and fucked and it's right there it's it's pinned it's ready for you it's an hour and 20 minutes of christina does a half hour i do a half hour and then as you said we do a lot of

audience interaction which is always really fun because people love to overshare in uh our audiences they are unhinged yeah yeah we got some really good stuff because like obviously it was like super fans we sold out cinema salem within like hours for both the shows um so as people who really really loved it love us love our podcast love our stand-up and wanted to be there and they were more than happy to be a part of it did you guys first of all did you tape two shows or did you do just one you did two yeah we did two shows back to back how did you feel after the first one were you like all right we got it or were you like okay i want to get this a little better that obviously the crowd stuff is the crowd stuff it probably was great in

both and different in both but like for your own stand-up how'd you guys feel i i hadn't done stand-up in a while we just ran our sets uh two nights before taped, but I had the flu and I was moving and I, I was just in bad, bad shape. So by the time we got there, I was just like, I hope the words come out. And so thank God we did two tapings back to back.

Cause after the first one, I was like, Ooh, this standup thing. I feel like I got the rhythm now. And then, so we had that second set. I was like,

thank God we had an immediate, not a redo, but a, you know, another run of it. Yeah. How about you, Corinne? Did you feel that way? I felt good with the first one because I was, I was also directing it. So I had like a lot of stuff going on that I was worried about and, you know, I wanted it to,

so that we did the cold open a different day and we had to kind of shoot outside all morning. We had extras who were great, but you know, you're dealing with a lot of people who are cold, but I also want to get the shots that I wanted to get for the special. So I think it was just nice to get on stage and only worry about me. So it actually felt less overwhelming than the rest of the day.

And so I was happy with my first set. And then I was like, okay, I can just play around in the second one and make it really, really loose. Because I like when a stand-up special doesn't feel like overly rehearsed. You know, I want it to feel like a club set where you stop. You don't do all the jokes exactly word for word.

Like if you wrote them down, I think sometimes that's the problem with stand-up. It feels too rehearsed when you see it taped. And so I'm happy with how it came out overall. That's great. I love that too. And I think, you know, while I do think that there are some people who just know their stuff, it's economical. This is what it is. And I really do enjoy that. I enjoy it from certain people. There is this other, because some people you're like, this is so perfect. Like you're, I don't want you to deviate from this what you've written and how it goes well that's like seinfeld he's just like he presents everything

perfectly first time around there's not economy there's there's not extra stuff that needs to be in there i mean i look i look at like gary goldman that way too i think like he's he's very he's although his stuff is maybe not considered economical i feel like everything is placed the way it is. He spent so much time kind of getting it to that place. But then there are other people who are like, I want to see them open it up. I really want to see people kind of loosely have fun with it.

And of course, you guys are so good at podcasting, you understand how to open it up in the moments when you guys have guests on. I've heard you do it. Yeah, thanks. Yeah, and the top segment of the show was really fun because it's basically speed round therapy. And we just, there's not, there wasn't a lot of pre-producing

because our live shows, people are just so I will share my secrets with the world. I don't give a shit. And so we really took advantage of that. Your fans are like the front two rows of the old Gallagher concert. People are like, I don't care. I don't care if I get watermelon all over my ass. Smash me. I'm leaving this place sticky in both instances.

Yours and theirs, same thing. Yep, two different kinds of sticky, but yep. All right, so our special day, youtube.com slash guys we fucked without the U. Everybody check it out and just write good comments in there and just support these guys because they're our buddies.

We love them. All right, Daniel, shall we jump in? Here we go, ready? Number two, yes, do it. Yes, anybody, La Asesina MMA, at La Asesina MMA. She's amazing. Love this girl. She's got New York, too.

Here's the headline. Florida man tortured by fiance's cult-like Bath & Body Works Christmas candle sale. Oh, God. Oh, my God. She had a... Wait, she had the sale? No, she's all about it kelsey cook remember we

had kelsey on and she was like oh the fucking bath and body works candles are legit she was like naming flavors that i was like what are you i've never even heard of that right you guys have a bath and body works order an order no i i feel like I stopped doing bath and body works after high school. Yeah. Sun-ripened raspberry and country apple is all you needed. Country apple. I remember that scent. Yeah.

You have to be careful with candles, though. You can basically be poisoning yourself through your nose. Candles are not like... That's true. Yeah, they're toxic. I don't like to always have a candle on. That's not good for you. Yeah, they're toxic. I don't like to always have a candle on.

That's not good for you. I think that after the Gwyneth Paltrow vagina scented candle, I think every candle at Bath & Body Works should just have a hint of vagina in it. It probably already does, honestly. A little bit of pussy with your country apple. Right. Country apple vagina would be fantastic. Country apple and J-Lo's vagina. There you go.

All right, we got it. The Spirit of Christmas. So this is back, this was right before Christmas, this story came out. The Spirit of Christmas is in the air for one Florida couple, but Bath and Body Works only brightened up the day

for the wife-to-be while her fiance took the Scrooge approach. Okay. Alison DeFelice, love them, I like saying that name, puts fan in bath and body works candle fanatic having a separate room in her house entirely devoted that is terrible writing because well i probably read it bad no no no no you read it right puts the fan in bath and body

works candle fanatic right but that yeah that is terrible. It's the fan in fanatic. Fan is just a short version of fanatic. Right. And it's the shortened, the colloquial shortening of that word. Right. If you put the fan in flannel, that still doesn't work. But at least it's better. You can do it.

Right. Exactly. The flan in flannel. So she has a separate room in her house entirely devoted to Bath & Body Works candles. Once they all mix together, it smells like shit. Like there's no way it smells good. How are you smelling anything? And by the way, this guy knows what he's getting into.

It's not like you've never seen that room. It's not like, honey, what is in here? Like, do I? Am I allowed? Also, if she has an entire room, i guarantee first date when you guys met she talked to you about how much she loved candles had to have had to i don't know or if she knows that it's a weird hobby maybe she snuck up with it you know what i mean like when they moved in together she's like by the way we're getting a two-bedroom because i need a candle room but oh my you said, if she has an entire room,

she has a candle going all the time. She doesn't have kids. She has candles. That's right. Her kids are not good with money. And also she has a low ball taste. She like cuts the wick. She like goes in there and cuts the wick.

You know, she still looks down on Beanie Baby people and it's like, girl, you ain't that far. This year, she pounced on the company's annual candle day when throngs of devotees flock to the stores to take advantage of a major discount. Three wick candles on a limited time sale for 10 and 25 cents that's 60 off their regular price i'm just gonna say this 22 i love a good candle if it smells really good candle if we we have some candles in our house that are like they smell we only bring them out like at winter time when the house is decorated for winter and it smells

like i'm like i know this isn't the winter smell, but this is my now association with what winter should smell like. And because we don't have, we don't really have winter in, in LA that you don't smell pine needles and stuff here in LA. But like, I'm like, okay,

it's wintertime. Cause I can smell that again. So I understand how you could like it. But if I told whole room, if I told my 14 year old daughter, like you have to, you have to share a room with your sister, because we're going to use that at the candle room.

I, she would fucking kill me in my sleep. There'd be a fight. There'd be a fight on your hands with you. Two on one. With scent though, it goes away after a while. So you become numb to it.

And so, I mean, she's just got to keep leaving the room and coming back. Just like my 14 year old. You become numb to it after a while. Sure. This year, Friday and Saturday, marked the first year that Candle Day stretched out over two days.

De Felice. Sounds like Christmas. Wait, I mean, so Bed Bath and Beyond. Bath and Body Works. They understand. They're like, we know the Candle Freak. We have a Candle Fre freak element of our customer base. Yeah, this is what Kelsey Cook was trying to tell us about.

I had never heard this until Kelsey told us about it. There is a certain portion of every business that is going to feed into somebody's addiction. Because they're like, this keeps us in business. Like the baseball card place that all sells nonstop to a guy who they know can't afford it. They're like, he's keeping our lights on. That feels very close to home as someone who owns a baseball card store. Sure. Boom.

So there you go. Also, too, what better than a product that goes away and disintegrates? You're going to need more of it. You need what's right. Right. Like cocaine. That is. Yes. It is like a. Candles are to need more of it. You need what's right. Right. Like cocaine. That is. Yes.

It is like a. Candles are the. Sniff it up. Cocaine candle. Cocaine candle would be great. Everybody would want to smell it. Oh my God. Everybody.

In this woman's case, you sniff it in your nose and they make you crazy when you don't have it. So. Well, why hasn't someone come out with a cocaine scented candle?

I'm sure they have and then they died so everybody's just yeah everybody's just talking about the candle and how smart they were to get that candle sure i wouldn't want anybody on cocaine near a flame no that's true but the other thing is that that's the kind of idea you come up with when you're on cocaine we should have a guys guy i got this i got this plan no look at me no look at me look at me but look at me it's the best fucking idea you're ever gonna hear just sit down and shut up and listen to it d felice told uh told i told the news outlet that she was first in line at the boca raton bath and body works i mean have you guys played the boca raton bath and body works no my boyfriend's from Boca Raton. Jesus. Oh, God.

He probably has been there. And you gotta ask him if he's ever been there. But to me, that is like ground zero for people saying I have a problem with this candle. You know what I mean? They're coming in and being like, it doesn't really smell like, like how many times do the people who have to work at that store feel like

questions of this isn't what I thought it was going to be. Boca Raton, it literally means the rat's mouth oh is that need i say anything else really that's the that's the that's the translation boca raton bath body works she got in line on friday at 4 30 a.m like she's going to see god damn rolling stones. Just make your own candle. What are you doing? Oh, man. She spent the day. Make your own. She spent the day at three other locations and on Saturday revisited two of those stores that she had been to the day before. Luckily, she had the help of her fiance, Andrew Bateman. Andrew does not want to be there, guys.

I'm just saying. Oh, my God. This is why women aren't CEOs. What the fuck? He's a good sport. He thinks I'm crazy, but he comes along and he carries all my candles. When asked what motivated him to tag along, Andrew Bateman said, happy wife, happy life.

In the end, the couple added how many new candles to their collection? How many candles do you think she bought from Bath and Body Works in Boca Raton and wherever the other two locations were? Corinne or Christina, either one of you. 187. I'll go with my birth year. 88, 107. Jason? So she can't stop herself from smelling these candles.

She's like the suit. Like Michael Jackson couldn't stop himself from looking into an 11-year-old asshole. Those two things are the same. It's the same. It's moth to a flame. Literally a moth to a flame. I'm going to say she picked up

85 candles. In both situations, it burns red hot uh i think i think she picked up 200 candles i'm not joking this woman is like it's at this point where you know like there's nowhere there's nowhere to put them anymore it's just they're all in the packaging in the candle room you can't walk in the candle room it's's just like that room. Maybe the rest of their place is super neat, but the candle room is just insane. The total candles she got 221

candles. Randy. Good lord, man. You should get multiples of scents. Yes, for the room. There aren't 220 flavors in the Maybe there is. I should get multiples of scents. Yes. For the room. There aren't 220 flavors in the.

Maybe there is. I don't know. Flavors, yeah. Well, at that point, though, what do you do in that room? Can you even fit in that room? Like you can't do anything. You can't do an activity. You can tip over the candle. You can't even light the candles in that room.

Right. Is anybody seeing a similarity between this and the first story? Excess, yes. Too much. No stop. There's no stop function. You can't fart in your candle room. I kind of like Andrew Bateman, guys.

He said, seeing her happy kept him going. We're a team. We do everything in a team aspect. Whatever she has, I try to support her in any way I can, even though I don't understand the craze. But if it makes her happy, then I'm happy. Even though I don't understand the craze, but if it makes her happy, then I'm happy. Even though I don't understand the craze was his cry for help. He's like...

Will someone please explain this? Even though I don't understand the craze, right? Guys, this is crazy, right? I said craze short for crazy. You can't be crazy without the craze. He's like, yeah, we're a team like the Detroit Lions. We're a team. A detroit lions we're a team a failing miserable team he said also golf quote she promised me golf so there was light at the

end of the tunnel so she was like you can go do you do your thing i'll do mine after we do this bateman said he doesn't think he'll ever understand the candle craze but drew similarities to his baseball card collection when he was younger what I get it. When you get into something, you want to collect it. You want to get that itch. Now I have an itch for golf. It's a positive thing. It keeps her busy and it makes her happy. That's all that matters.

You don't have to tend to your candles. Right. Although maybe she does because her candle game seems to be above anyone else. She's got to trim the wicks. I mean, that's just part of the process. Are you guys coming tonight to our dinner party? No. Nancy's trimming all the wicks.

She's got to wash the package. You've got to clean the scissors after each wick. You've got to clean the scissors. That's right. I don't want to mix the wicks either. I don't want to mix the country apple with the apple. No, but the idea that he was like, it's like my baseball collection, and someday she'll grow out of this too.

He's an enabler. It's like my baseball card collection, she'll grow out of this too. He's an enabler. It's like my baseball card collection because my mom's coming over tomorrow to throw all this shit away. Oh my God. That's insane. I wonder if she burns the candles until the very end. You know what I mean? Until the glass is about to explode. I bet she doesn't even burn

them. I bet she just collects them. She's getting 222, 221. She needed more. You got to cycle through those. That seems like it's a comfort for something deeper. Agreed. Yes, it is 100% just the scent of a candle. It just takes...

Which, by the way, that is my favorite... Al Pacino movie. Al Pacino movie. A blind guy who works at a candle store. Who's also a lawyer. He's also a lawyer. That's story number two, my friend. Every time he says hoo-ha, he blows out the candles.

All right, guys. Story number two done. Dan, give us just a little taste of story three. Oh, two things that don't go together. Right. But they certainly are trying. Like the Sklar trying. I love it. Like the Sklar brothers.

I agree. And also for our Patreon fans, we're going to talk just personal dumb connections with these guys. Dumb things that they've done recently that they've seen that they've experienced. That'll be for our Patreon fans. But we'll have two things that don't go together as our final story. Stay with us. Don't go anywhere. It's Dumb People Town with Corinne Fisher and Christina Hutchinson.

We are right back. Stick around. Make a sound for more Dumb People Town. Hey, guys. Welcome back to the show. Dan, take us home, buddy. You ready, friends? Yes.

Welcome back to the show. Dan, take us home, buddy. You ready, friends? Yes. First of all, this comes from our official executive producer at Liz Haggerty, who sends in so many great stories. Love her. At Daniel Van Kirk. Hashtag dumb people town. If you want to send me a story, that's how I find them.

Guys, McDonald's is the headline. McDonald's testing exercise bike seats. Nope. In the restaurant where you sit and eat is also an exercise bike. What? I don't know if this is genius or horrible. You saw it, Corinne? Yeah, in Asia they tested it out. It already exists in Asia.

I mean, I'm probably like in a couple restaurants only, but yeah, I saw it it online i love mcdonald's do you have the ability to pedal can you pedal while you're on it yeah oh that's so you're on just the bottom of it couldn't pedal yeah oh yeah because they want you to they maybe they just want you to eat more mcdonald's yeah it's just a normal like stool seat i think with pedals at the bottom of it. No resistance, though. Reloading pedals. You blow on them, they pedal. That's right.

Right. I mean, if you're at McDonald's, you're not looking for resistance in any fashion. No, you've given up. You're not resisting anything. You need what you're there for, whether it's just to use the bathroom. It's a shake.

Whatever it is, you're there because you need something. No resistance. Is this a Peleron on mcdonald's i couldn't even get it out damn that's good though i liked it a for effort jay don't you ever stop don't ever tell around i don't know i think it's to me there are they're just acknowledging that our food is completely terrible and we need to now we need to get people it's like when they came out with salads you're like don't do a salad like no one is coming up in your place for a salad and if they are like replace fries yeah yeah exactly right don't do that like just do what you do like don't come at us with this thing like don't like i'm not going to like i

don't know like a billy joel concert to hear rap like i love jason when you're giving like a halftime speech to a corporate conglomerate restaurant right like a global restaurant chain and you're like guys stick to you you're out here trying to do goddamn exercise in that first half no. That's right. Like, you don't go to, like, a hooker to get, like, bar mitzvah lessons. Like, that's not what you do. That would be a great hooker. That would be amazing. But I'm just saying.

It's like, do what she specializes in. By the way, it's her favorite hour of the week. It's all about the conversation. It's someone's fetish. It's someone's fetish. It's someone's fetish. It's a lot of work. Okay, McDonald's China, Corinne called it,

she knows what's up, confirmed the company is testing in-store exercise bikes after video taken inside one of the eateries went viral online. Footage emerged recently

on social media showing a woman sitting at a stationary bike while eating a hamburger at McDonald's and the company confirmed the bikes have been installed as seats at locations in i'll try guys guangdong and shanghai so wait dan you know we've always said this about uh seating in a mcdonald's is terrible i mean anytime your bench is nailed to the ground it's not a restaurant that's number

one uh but like it's so uncomfortable because they want you out of there. The only thing that is more uncomfortable is a hard bike seat. Thank you. That's what this is about. It's not about them exercising. They're like, we want people here even less time.

You have to go sit on that slab of rock that's going up your ass. Here's the scratch. McDonald's China said the bike seats are part of the that's going up yes here's the scratch mcdonald's china said the bike seats are part of the company's upcycle for good initiative which aims to promote sustainability the company said the exercise bikes generate electricity that customers can use to charge their cell phones and other devices what oh they had to put something there yeah to make you want a bike yeah okay i didn't. We killed eight miles of coral reef to get the materials for this bike.

Thank you. Thank you very much. That's right. To power your phones. That's it. Is this like a Black Mirror episode? What the hell is going on? Let's do a little Black Mirror.

The company said the bikes also serve as a means of helping customers stay healthier while eating fast food oxymoron mcdonald's said it is collecting data from the two stores and that the exercise bike program might be expanded to more cities wow and if they're trying if they're trying to help people's health mcdonald's sure just take get rid of theib. That's it. You've done as much as a thousand bike seats just by doing that. Sure. Sure. Have you guys ever had the McRib?

Have either of you ever tried it? I've never had a McRib. Yeah, but it's not on the menu right now. They take it off and they put it on. And so you've got to like catch it while it's on the menu. So when it was on, I've had a bite of it. And it's honestly pretty good. And I don't even eat meat.

And I ate meat for that. Oh, shit. Because it's not real meat. Like McDonald's is the easiest to eat if you don't eat meat because it's so processed that it doesn't taste anything like meat. So it's kind of goes down easier. It's like you've heard of impossible meat. It's incredulous meat.

That's how that is. That's a story friends. That's a show. That's a show. Hey, we love these guys so much. Our special day on youtube.com slash guyswefuckedwithouttheu. And go watch their special and go support these guys because, like we said, they're like family. We love them and we support them. Go listen to their podcast.

Go watch them do stand-up whenever they do stand-up. Where can they, like, online catch your stuff and find out where you're going to be? Yeah, so my social media is at ChristinaHutch. EverythingTogether.SorryAboutLastNightShow.com. Or sorry, right? Yeah. SorryAboutLastNightComedy.com. Sorry.

Guys, we fucked. Guys, we fucked. Okay. All right, love it. Awesome. Love it. Thank you guys for doing the show. Love it, guys.

No shit. We got to get back to work.