Dumb People Town - Kyle Dunnigan - New Toy Yoda

Episode Date: September 27, 2022

This week Kyle Dunnigan comes to town to hang with Daniel, Jason and Randy. The first story is about a lawsuit at Hooters. The second story is a tale of an angry man destroying art. The final story is why no one should ever go in a hot air balloon.

Skypains Avenue Hey, townies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population news. Population done again. Kyle.. Population Dunnigan. Kyle. Oh, Kyle Dunnigan. I'm at the wrong show. That was a record. That's got to be a record.

I just jumped in right away. Wow, Kyle Dunnigan. Our favorite moose knuckle is here. One of the top five moose knuckles in the country. Top five moose knuckles on the board. It's kind of a Casey Kasem that's turning into it. I always liked his lead in the country. Did you read this?

Did you read this you read this there's a like me tv does carson every night at like 11 or 11 30. car uh me tv though like oh yeah in every night at like 11 or 11 30. uh me tv though like oh yeah oh yeah and um it feels like there's seven years where he did hag jokes yeah the hague yes for like seven years he did jokes the hague is like it was like i don't know i don't even know like an international yeah something like in germany it's like the geneva convention yes yeah they're doing what's a hague today you'll get like every joke was about Yul Gibbons, who was basically like Yul Gibbons was eating acorns out of a Zsa Zsa

Gabor stuff, or some Gibbons. And always that Nelson Reilly guy was on. Charles Nelson Reilly. Hilarious. Who was fake drunk all the time, right? That's Foster Brooks. Charles Nelson Reilly was on Magic, whatever. These are deep cuts.

I just played Johnny Carson in a movie. That's Foster Brooks. Charles Nelson Reilly was on like Magic, whatever. These are deep cuts. We're getting off topic here. I just played Johnny Carson in a movie. Really? No way. Really? What movie? Can't say. For real?

You should play Bill Maher in The Bill Maher Story. Okay, people. Can you say, was Ed in the movie too? That's the year I fell in love with myself. Okay. Okay. Was there an Ed McMahon in the the year I fell in love with myself. Okay. Okay. Was there an Ed McMahon in the scene too? Or a movie?

There was Darryl Hammond. Oh my God, that's so fun. Name dropped. I love him by the way. He's great, that is so fun. He doesn't like you, I asked him. He doesn't like me, I asked him. Oh, what about Jay?

He likes me? Okay, cool. Just like your dog. Awesome. Guess what, here's the thing. The world is dumb, it's getting dumber since the last time you were here kyle it's still dumb people send in stories to dan your last visit was zoom was it yeah i think 2020 2021. i came down to yeah you did that was a while ago it was even

before that so he's been on a bunch we love it you guys feel like because you would be the ones to ask that people have gotten dumber yes or yeah stayed the same so i think i think there is more okay to be dumb that's it so there's a modeling of it used to be that dumb people were like well i'm not that guy so i better like keep it to myself or hey to their kids you can aspire someday maybe i'm not that smart but you could be as smart as that guy or that scientist or that astronaut or that whatever. Now we're here saying that astronaut or that scientist is wrong. That scientist is trying to save your lives. He's trying to take away your freedoms.

So that guy's dumb. Be like her. But it used to be you would say something in the office among all the cubes, right? Yeah. And you'd end your sentence with, right? And people would go, no, no, Michael, no. But now you could write whatever you want on Facebook and end it with the word, right?

And people would go, yeah, you're totally true. So there's a better network of dumb. Like, dumb has figured out a smart way to link up and how to reinforce dumb behavior so that it's just repeated and repeated. So our fans send us these awesome stories. Let's jump into one, shall we? You want to do it?

Yes. Just put a button on that. I see it in just when I look at YouTube things. Yeah. And then it'll start to agree and have other things. And then I'll go to a different thing and then that will become, and then I'll be like, maybe that's the real thing. So I can see getting.

You see how you can get to affirmations. You're a smart guy. And you're, well, I don't know. Okay, ready? Oh, really? I wonder what my IQ is, though. Do you guys know what your IQ is? I wonder what mine is.

I have no idea what my IQ is. Jay, you're like 130 or something like that. Really? Like 130. Wait, what's good? I feel like mine's in the twos. In the twos? Is it 180 genius?

As in like just two? 180 is a genius. 22 to four. The twos. 180 is a genius. 22 to four. 180 is a genius. I think I'm like one. Oh, really? Oh, really, people. I'm 179, people.

You got to do the weird little, he does these little hand movements that aren't full. Whatever Jesus was, I'm one above that. Okay, you ready for a dumb story? Yes. Sent in by Jake Groney, at Jake Groney. Jake's a constant contributor to Dumb People Town.

Anybody can be. Just go to Twitter, hashtag Dumb People Town, at Daniel Van Kirk, at Sklar Brothers as well. That's too much. Not too many things. No, it's enough.

It's too many. It's enough. That's how we know it's for us. That's how we know the timeline. If you're late on the uptake in a couple weeks, we're all going to start doing stories. We're all bringing in stories to the show. Okay. Panama City, Florida.

Oh, boy. Here's – It's not even spring break. It's not even spring break? This is from years ago. So it's not even spring break? So when Van Halen sang Panama, they were singing about Panama City. They weren't singing about the nation.

That's a good question. I always thought it was the nation. What do you think? Do you think that? I don't know. Why? It seems to me like it'd be more like it'd be Panama City. Really need a canal? Here about the nation. That's a good question. I always thought it was the nation. What do you think? Do you think that? I don't know. Why? It seems to me like it'd be more like it'd be. Really?

You need a canal? Here's the headline. Hooters waitress sues over toy Yoda. Hold on. Hold on. Is it a toy Yoda? That's how it's written. Wasn't this the first season of Mandalorian?

Toy Yoda. Mandalorian. Yes. Hooters waitress sues over toy Yoda. More like, well, Mandalorian. Yes. Hooters waitress sues over toy Yoda. More like woman DeLorean. Am I right? So she sues over a toy Yoda.

Wait, are you saying toy Yoda? Toy? Yoda. But that's like a Corolla. We'll get into it. Here's the first line. Might be the worst opening line in a story we've ever done. Oh, what a feeling.

Toy Yoda. Oh, Y-O-D-A. Yes. Oh, boo. A former Hooters waitress has sued the restaurant where she worked saying she was promised a new Toyota car for winning a beer sales contest. Oh, boy. Instead, she won a new toy Yoda.

I mean, that is... If it wasn't written down, I'm with Hooters. If it wasn't written down, I'm with Hooters. I agree. They told them, you're all going to win a toy Yoda. Toyota. We said it.

Did they know it was a funny thing to say, or did they just really have a toy Yoda? This is the example of you are... This is them saying, you're just a waitress. Did they knew it was a funny thing to say or did they just really have a toy Yoda and go, I don't know. This is the example of you are, this is them saying you're just a waitress. There's nothing you can do. Jodi Berry, not common spelling. Would you like to guess how she spells Jodi? Oh, no. J-O-D-E-E.

Okay. B-E-R-I. Jodi G-E-E-U-D-Y. Is she from New Orleans? G-E-U-D-Y. Is she from New Orleans? G-E-U-D-Y. G-O-D? Are you doing Jeff Goldblum? Are you doing G-O-D?

Yes. Jody spelled with a T-O-5-1-6. But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, mark. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. J-O-T-H-Y. Whoa, J-O-T? Jody. Jody. Jody.

What if it's J-O-D-A? I thought you'd just go J-O-T-I. Jody. Jody. Oh, J-O-D-E-E. So she shouldn't be the one complaining about weird spellings of things is what you're trying to get at, Dan. Oh, that's a good thing. Yeah, it is. How does she spell her name?

She's living that phonetically. J-O-D-E-E. That's what I said. These two. Randy was right. Did we get any confirmation whether she read that or they just said it? Here we go. We're going to find this out.

She won a contest to see who could sell the most beer in April at the Hooters in Panama City Beach that one's got to be popping that one has got to be crazy like the amount of times John Daly shows up

at that one just getting golf balls out of people's mouths do you evolve into a Hooters yes do you like Hooters no I love Hooters

I don't like it I kind of like it I do too the Three Mile Island which is their second to hottest hot wing. They got good wings. Legit good wings. I will say I love Buffalo Wild Wings.

Really? I love it. You going boneless? I feel like you're a boneless man. I like a boneless. I knew it. I like that Hooters feels like it's right at the top of being shut down for being un-woke. So that's fun to be there at the end.

Just let them wear what they want. Remember when we used to be able to the end. Just let them wear. Remember when we used to have places like this is what you would say. The restaurant that's basically called Tits is still open. Right. Well, there's Twin Peaks. And then there's. The Tilted Kilt. Kilt. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then there's. The Flaming Areola. Yes. They've got a great. I honestly think there's one called Mounds. There is one. And then you see all these on the road. Thanks for the mammaries.

Yeah, thanks for the mammaries. It's very good. It's a very tough sake. It's a tough sake, but breast friends, breast friends. It's a great breast friend. It's a kookaroo, but. I like hangers. Hangers is great.

Okay, we're going to get canceled. Jody Berry, one of the contests you could sell the most beer at Hooters, which I really do genuinely love, in Panama City Beach. She said the top-selling waitress from each Hooters restaurant in the area were entered into a drawing and her name was picked.

Let's go to the Hooters in Panama City. Which one? There's so many in the area. It's like a Starbucks. Sbarro in New York. So this was like a regional thing in Florida. Yeah, it does seem like a toy would not be enough. Right.

So she said she believed she had won a new car when they drew her name. She was blindfolded and led to the restaurant parking lot. Okay. See? Come on. That is me. I'm on Jody's side. Me too. Ran. Although if you work at Hooters is me. I'm on Jody's side. Me too.

Ran. Although, if you work at a Hooters, you know there's going to be some tomfoolery going on. Look, I'm saying if you're at a Hooters and you're blindfolded and you're taken into a parking lot and you're not abducted, you won something. You win. You won your life. You won life. She was blindfolded and led to the restaurant parking lot, but when her blindfold was removed, she found that she was the winner of not a toyota but a toy yoda doll there you go i would be so fucking pissed yeah i would want to go back and see how much you want to see what she looks like with her prize look at her oh she is so

not happy she is so not pissed off she's not happy also watch like flash forward 15 years and this is like honestly some totals are like $300 yeah okay if she were to create an OnlyFans what if she created and she is pissed so what if she created she's only fans site where she gets naked with the Toyota well I mean sure people, sure. People would sign up for that. And it makes enough money to buy a Toyota. It's kind of one-dimensional, though. And then she gets both.

It depends on what she does with the lightsaber. Inside the restaurant, the manager was laughing. That's where I'm even more pissed. The manager laughed at this whole thing. Oh, isn't it funny that I tricked you into selling a whole bunch of beer for us? I don't get pranks at all that are mean. I don't like prank wars because they only end when someone gives up. Or they just get worse and worse.

Until someone gets really hurt, and they're like, oh, sorry, we went too far. Oh, I didn't mean to set your car on fire. We went too far on this. Prank wars are, to me, too stressful. But don't you think it's just a bad feeling? It's just stressful. You don't check in with your gut when you watch a prank

where someone gets hurt or something. You don't feel good. You feel bad. No, 100% agree. I'm like, oh, you're going to get it back. And the joy is short-lived because you know it's like it's gonna come down I like to think about in this story is the regional manager meeting where they thought oh you know it'd be

funny if we trick all of our waitresses into thinking one of them could get a car yeah this is the this is the thought and they thought that would be funny oh yeah it's gonna be hilarious already tricking them into thinking that they're in a power position by like making money off of this restaurant right that is definitely going down like they're being they used to have a casino do you guys ever go to the hooters casino it was a hooters casino it was wild damn what yeah where was there multiple in vegas yes they had a casino it's now called what's that weird hotel chain? Ojo or Ono? It's like O-N-O. Ono.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ono. But now it was a Hooters casino. I went there multiple times. Played craps there. When it was a Hooters casino, my reaction was, oh no. Fair enough. Fair enough. Barry said, a corporation can't lead their employees on like that. It's

not good business ethics. They can't do that to people. So she's going to Hooters to study law. So number one, 100%, they can do that to people. But also expect to have your employees rebel or be angry about it. At a time in this country where there is no workforce anywhere at all. People have just decided we're not going to do it. I agree with what your sentiment is.

PPD. Pre-pandemic. Pre-PPD. That's what PPD did. Those years, PPD. Jody. Two E's if you're nasty. Quit the restaurant a week later. Of course. Good for her. I agree.

I'm glad she still picked up a couple of shifts that week. I was respectful that she didn't immediately leave. She's like, if they treat you. Then she woke up one day and was like, if they don't objectify. Maybe she was like every day for a week. She's like, you giving me the car? They're like, no. And she's like, it's Saturday.

She left like during a NASCAR race and they were free. She should have. I'll stay if they don't objectify me. And then. She sued Gulf Coast Wings, which must be the official business. Is that the offshore account for them? That's probably the parent company of Hooters, right? Gulf Coast Wings. Gulf Coast Wings, which must be the official business. Is that the offshore account for them? That's probably the parent company of Hooters, right? Gulf Coast Wings.

Gulf Coast Wings Incorporated. Owners of the restaurant alleging, or maybe that's the franchisee, alleging breach of contract and fraudulent misrepresentation. Is it a breach of contract? It is not a breach of contract. Not a breach of contract. It was a verbal contract. Hey, here's the deal.

You guys, whoever sells the most gets a Toyota. But that's not a contract verbal and dan they can say since the audience or the jury audience sure it's always since the since the crowd since they're there since they weren't there at the speaking of the thing sure the people who are speaking it out, unless there's a lot of people. But all the waitresses thought they were trying to win a car at multiple restaurants. So you could pull all them and go, did any of you think this was for a toy? Yeah, it's true.

And they're all going to go, no. No. Because not only did they go, oh, just this restaurant, what a fun goof. All of them. The leading beer salesperson, each one had to put their name into a drawing. And then they drew it. Yes. So you could have just sold a lot of beer for the company and then lost the drawing.

Yes. Oh, my God. This is like way, way worse. Yeah, that's not good. How much is she suing for? Well, here we'll say. There we go. Have we started recording?

Her lawyer. No. Stephen West. This is like the rehearsal. Stephen West of Pensacola said he's also looking at false advertising statutes. I don't know how that would play. She's seeking compensation for the cost of Toyota. It's a base switch.

What do you think? Cost of a Toyota? Jason already nailed it. All she wants is the cost of a new Toyota. That's all she wants? Cost of a new Toyota? It's very fair. What do you think the range is?

If you're talking about a sedan. Did they say new Toyota? Yeah, new Toyota. Dan and i bet they bump it i bet they settle and they settle for the lowest price toyota out there and it will be the most basic package well doesn't the judge determine oh you're saying if they settle i'm saying hooters might settle out of court because they don't want the bad kyle just made this gesture rolling down a window. For what? She doesn't have power windows. It's this. Do you remember how they do that?

This is in my new hour. No! This is in the Boston story when I turn to look at the guy and he's going like this. And I always go, it's still this. It's still this. It's this, but it's still this. But sometimes it's this. It's still this. It's still this.

We're still doing this. Dan, you know, we have a joke like that when a guy waves at us and does kind of like a Nazi heil. And he's like, see you later. We're like, you got to move something. This is this. This is this. You got to go up or down. This is this.

Even fingers. Wiggle a finger, bro. Give me a salute. Give me a. Like, this is this. That's what I'm saying. Even a one. Even a one.

Even a one finger is great. This is this. Right. Two-piece side. This is this. This is this. That's a great joke. That Even a one. Even a one finger is great. This is this. Two, peace sign. This is this. This is this. That's a great joke. That's in your new house?

That's great. How high? Like above the eye. Where am I? I'm still there, right? Anything above shoulder, you're in the problem zone. You're in the danger zone. Like straight up and down is a way.

Like this is a way. Right. But once you break, even straight shoulder. Anything straight shoulder. It's also how stiff is the wrist. How stiff is your thumb to your hand and how stiff is your – No, even if you're a thumb out, I feel like we're in a danger zone. What is the height range of a tile?

Even down below the shoulder feels bad. That sucks. That sucks. Even down below the shoulder feels bad. That's so. That's so. Yeah. Anything. It's like this is okay. Zero to 89. Zero to 89 is your show.

I love that Kyle has forgotten we're on a podcast and is just completely talking off mic. This will be the clip. That's a clip. This is on Twitter. It's on the internet. Remember when I said we're going to get canceled earlier? It happened. Remember when Kyle hiled? He kiled. earlier? It happened. Remember when Kyle Hiled?

He Kyle. Hile Dunnigan. Kyle. I want you guys to do that bit for too long. I also want you later on to be like, at the end of your set, I want you to be like, you guys have been great. And then move those fingers, move those fingers. Thank you, guys.

Okay. Steven West of Pensacola said he's looking at false advertising. She wants a cost of a new Toyota. Stuart Houston, a spokesman for the company. Stuart Houston. That is a fake name. You could have said this guy. You could have said this other guy said.

By the way, Stuart Houston should be the manager of a Houston's. I agree. Stuart Houston, a spokesman. King actually also is one of the managers. Burger King. Come on, guys. I love it. Stuart Houston. Jeffrey spokesman. Michael King, actually, also is one of the managers. Burger King. Come on, guys. I love it. Stuart Houston.

Jeffrey Hardee. Jack Indebox. Steven Carl's Jr. Stuart Houston, a spokesman for the company. Mike Jersey. Mike. Mike Jersey. Jersey Mike McCall weighed in on him.

He said that he hadn't been served to the lawsuit, so he could not comment. Barry said restaurant manager Jared Blair. That is the perfect name for the restaurant manager. Well, did you chat with Jared? Jared Blair. He told his waitresses. Mr. Blair, I have a complaint about my shift. And he's just eating wings.

Mr. Blair. This is where they're going to really get into trouble. Jared Blair told his waitresses he didn't know what kind of Toyota it would be, a car, truck, or van. Oh, that's it. You're done. You're done. But told them the winner would be responsible for tax on the vehicle. So here's my question.

Do you think- You said on the vehicle. Do you think he didn't know? He found out the day before they're like, hey, we're not giving her the car. And he was like, you guys, we said... If I'm his lawyer, I'm throwing the thing under the bus. And so they were like, just give her a Toyota. What if he

got pranked? He could have been pranked. I definitely would not play the urine on it. It is interesting though, Dan. If we take a giant step. I mean, I definitely would not play the urine on it. It is interesting, though, Dan. Like, if we take a giant step back from here, I do not like that this woman got fooled. But she is not entitled to the car. She is once you say these are the parameters of your job. Doesn't matter.

Doesn't matter. She's not. She's not. I'm sorry. Let me answer this, then. Yeah. I worked for a very popular, although now they're all dying, newspaper company at one point in time.

They had a threshold set because I used to do advertising sales. If you hit a certain number, you got a bonus of $5,000. Okay? I came in to work when everything was shut down between Christmas and New Year's, made calls, hit the mark before the end of the year, right? And they said the end of the year ended at Christmas. They said, well, that account was given to you by somebody who quit, and you needed to

have found the account in order to count as your numbers, even though it was a brand new sale. They changed the criteria and sat there and told me me we will not be giving you this bonus so is your attitude well you weren't entitled to that anyway or was i go would i have a claim to go fuck off because i you said this is the parameters of the job you laid before me i did my job based on what you said i would be rewarded right right so i guess yeah i guess in that case that's it's an interesting case maybe i'm walking it back. But I don't know, man.

How they're lucky, the Hooters people, is that that rhymed or whatever with a very cheap car. Yeah. You know what I mean? It could have been something like a Luke Skylark. Or a Fur Ari. A Fur Ari. Yes. A Fur Ari. And it's like gold.

In a fur coat. A big league Chewbacca. Listen, guys, let's go on to the next story. We're going to, but I have an update for you. She won the suit and settled for an undisclosed amount of money. However, one of the lawyers in the case said the amount could easily

have her head to the car dealership and pick out whatever Toyota she wants. Oh, my God. So probably $100,000. Yeah. I would guess so $80,000 maybe. Yeah. $50,000 will still pretty much get you.

I don't know. You get into their SUVs. Now you're- You're starting to ride Fords. But you're going sedan? You're going to sedan? You can probably get a great sedan for $40,000, right? Hell yeah.

Yeah. You're trying to think of a Highlander. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Trying to think of a Highlander. Oh, stop. It's just a picture of the Highlander? It's a picture of that dude? What's his name from the Highlander? Who's the guy who played Squiggy from Lenny and Squiggy? Was his name like David Lander?

Yeah, David Lander's high. There's a cameo from him. That's story one, friend. There we go. Story one down the books. When we come back, we're going to find out how you can file. File and follow. File and follow Kyle Dunn.

How you can file Kyle Dunn again. Kyle Dunn again on Instagram and whatnot. We'll be right back. Stick around. Make a sound. There's more at Uncle People Town. Hey, guys. Welcome back to the show. Before we get into all the cool stuff that Kyle is doing,

the stuff on the Internet that I myself just watch over and over again. And share with our friends. Oh, my God. So this is the highest comment we can give to Kyle, and we'll get into his stuff in a minute because we have some things to announce for ourselves. Sure we do. Is that I say of all the people I know that I'm friends with his stuff is the most things

I share with people who aren't in the comedy business Randy I'm Jason that's Jason I'm Jason that's great take it all back

take it all back take it back I know you do but I do take it back so for those of you out there who have been saying hey guys I know

why don't you it's been since before the pandemic since you did a live Dumb People Town on the road. We had to cancel three shows. We had to cancel a bunch of shows. We canceled way more than three. We canceled six shows. We are taking this show on the road. If these shows do well, then we will go out and do more. If you're in Salt Lake City and you're like, come here, well, then you better tell people in Nashville to come out to those shows.

Go see us. So Nashville on October. It takes a town. a town a whole national town takes a dumb Nashville on the uh 13th of October tell him he's on the show we'll be at the Hutton and in the analog room we've got a music by Stephen Pultz who wrote music for Julie's a great singer songwriter friend of Langhorne Slims he was like you got to get this guy and I'm not gonna be in town but you got to get this guy on so we're like okay we be in town, but you got to get this guy on. So we're like, okay, we will absolutely get him on. And Dusty Slay. Jason Blair.

Jason Blair. Jared Blair. That's so fun. You guys get to all go together. Well, the next night. We're going to Chicago. The next night we go to Chicago. We're doing a stand-up show and a live.

Stand-up man at the Den Theater. Which I've only heard amazing things about at the Den Theater. I've been there. We're going to see who we're going to get on that show. I'm very excited. Yes. The guest TBD. Oh, I have an idea i want to run yes tbd and we're gonna i'm very excited about that and then on saturday you guys go to oklahoma saturday night we go to oklahoma tulsa to the river spirit casino dan will be are you gonna play any blackjack

no i'm for me and your dad do one okay for my dad dan's gonna be new york city because the next night we are going to be at the Bell House in Brooklyn doing our podcast live with Andrew Dismukes from SNL, Roy Wood Jr., and Cut Worms, the band. Andrew Dismukes! Andrew Dismukes! Lorraine Newman! That's very good, Randy.

Dismukes is going to be a great game for Don Pardo to see. That's going to be super fun. Hey, I have a couple things for me. On the 5th of October I'm going to be in Austin. And then the next night, I'm in Lafayette. And then the next night, I am in Houston, Texas. Go to danielvancurk.com. Before we start a little tour, I am doing a – I can't give away what it is.

Amy Mann asked me to be a part of her show at Largo. And we're doing a very, very special special fun thing that I'm extremely nervous about and then at the end of the month on the 29th I will be in Denver doing the Grawlix show where am I right here I'll be in Denver doing the Grawlix show so go to danielvankirk.com and one last one for us is we're

headlining a show at the Thousand Lakes Comedy Festival in Minneapolis on October 7th that's a Friday night one show the nosebleeds watch our show the nosebleeds which is like cheap seats 2.0 of which you were on kyle uh how can people follow you it's just youtube is the best because everything else doesn't pay so if so if people join your you should just subscribe to your youtube page then that helps uh kyle dunning yeah and you have a Patreon too

yeah I don't really yeah I have a Patreon it's hard because I don't feel comfortable promoting it because it just I still have this stigma I feel like

when you grew up it was like you did something and then like a corporation network would pay you that's a different world different direct to people now i know yeah and definitely hollywood said no thank you oh we got that too so listen the people listen the youtube so it's just kyle dunnigan on youtube YouTube.com backslash Kyle Dunnigan. Do we get Craig videos in there? We got Craig videos. Do we have Biden stuff?

Jabrock Jabrama. Jabrock Jabrama, man. Come on, man. Come on, man. Get that face off your face. Get your face out of your ears. Get your face out of your ears. Not, not, not, not, not your ears.

Want to do another story? Let's do another story. Here we go. Let's do it. This is so dumb. Let's be fresh. We're going to get back to you guys doing a show. I want to do another story? Let's do another story. Here we go. Let's do it. This is so dumb. Let's be fresh. We're going back to you guys doing a show. I want to do a show at Largo live.

We've done a show at Largo. Oh, my God. We did, yes. Do you think I could physically get that out live and Zoom people in? Yes. Do you guys want to do that? No. No, you can figure it out.

100%. You can do that. If they have the internet, you can do it. Yes. Because the thing that's missing is we do a sketch show online, and there's no laugh. Imagine SNL with no laugh. No, you've got to do it at Largo. Do it live.

Imagine SNL with no laughs. It would be like SNL in 1980. Oh, baby. Just kidding. Okay, this might be one of the dumbest. Martin Short. Like angry dumb. Sorry, guys.

Sending by- Danny Dillon. Carleen McDermott at SheBeCarleen. One of our favorites. Here we go. Also another constant contributor. Man allegedly destroys art because he, quote, got mad at his girl. Oh, God.

Girl? Friend? Dumbest. Dumbest person in the world. So then he destroyed art. Art. It's the dumbest? The roommate's name was Arthur?

Did you guys have anybody in your life that was like a throw things, I'm mad person, like a friend? I remember I had a friend growing up, and we were playing video games, and he threw a lamp. And I was like, oh, this isn't my – that's not how we – we have anger in my family too. We tend to eat those emotions. After six, you get punished for throwing something when you learn. But every time I've seen somebody punch a wall or throw their phone, I'm like, you now have that problem. I know. I'm trying to minimize.

I'm mad because I have whatever problem I'm dealing with is a problem I don't want. Why would I add more? It's like a soothing thing, right? So they're feeling such overwhelming emotion. Like, it soothes them to break something. Get it out. I guess. But it's so short-sighted.

It's the most short-sighted. But have you guys been to, they have in LA, and I'm sure across the country, they have these, like, break stuff rooms. Yes. Are you going? I've heard that is super fun. That sounds amazing. But at least in that case, you're like, oh.

You just smash old TVs. You can, like, take a sledgehammer to a bunch of things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really? It's really fun. But that's controlled, like. Well, that, but. I know what I'm saying. That's why it's good. It is good, but...

I think they give you a bill. You break it, you buy it. That's actually the owner's actual iPhone. But what's bad about that, Dan, is that you don't know... I would sign up to go there maybe at the end of a Michigan-Ohio State football game because then I would know that's like – That's when I'm going to need it.

You want to bring rage to it. Yeah, but Jay says – I understand what you're saying. You're saying you don't know – if you have to book a reservation, usually – You can't predict when you're going to want to break something. Anger comes up in certain ways. Exactly, yeah. My girlfriend invited me to go to dinner and we haven't talked in a long time. I better book a thing.

Okay, it's a subscription model. Every month you pay $80. Some months you don't go there. That's right. And you can go whenever you want. Also, I wonder they should have

a good cancellation policy. What if you're like, I'm having a great day. I don't really... They see you come screaming towards the building and they say, but even the commute

to get to the place will diffuse some of the anger. Or ratchet it, but even the commute to get to the place will diffuse some of the anger. Or, or, ratchet it up. Go at rush hour. Yeah.

I got it. They're only open at rush hour. Exploding with great for this company. So what you also get, if you want to up the package, upsell it, you get things sent to you

like Amazon does to your house, like a breakable lamp. Those things to your house. Something to get you through the day. You know you can kind of break. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you don't tell your girlfriend or whoever you're going to scare.

Or your boyfriend. They're like, we'll leave the light on for you. The light that you can smash. Have you guys ever sparred? Have you ever, like, sparred? No. My brother, I used to. I wasn't allowed to hit him

in the face and he was allowed to hit me in the face I was a scrapper fight you otherwise one time I I beat him like those rules like wrestling he like tapped out and I got up and I laid on the couch and my head was against the wall my face like prop is the back of the camera yeah and he came over and he hit me in the face it didn't move at all because normally you get hit but it moved that's good that it moved

but it was just like nothing went backwards oh that would hurt so bad that is so painful that sounds like your brother needs a break room but about the prank show like that goes back

to the pranking is like you couldn't even just win like you couldn't just take the L. You had to come back and give you a shot. It was in front of my brother. I'll jump on this now, but I do want to say, I think people with break stuff anger issues,

they think like, see how mad I am at you that I threw my phone? That's how much I – Set an example. Yeah, but it's still stupid. Stop. Here we go. That's the guy you want, though, to save you. Do you know what I mean?

You fall off a boat. Sure. That guy's going to jump in. Right. Might not punch a stupid. That's the guy you want, though, to save you. Do you know what I mean? Like, you fall off a boat. Like, that guy's going to jump in. Punch a shark. Might not be able to swim. Punch a shark for upsetting. A man broke into a Dallas museum Wednesday night and destroyed ancient and irreplaceable

art pieces because he, quote, got mad at his girl, officially. Wait a minute. So they got into a fight and he said, excuse me his girl officially so he got to a fighting excuse me yes I'm gonna go to a museum that's closed break in and then start breaking shit did she work there like what's the connection why they give no connection to the museum so you're an idiot you're the duck you are literally one of the ruining art for other people. Say one more thing to me and I'm going to mocha.

Say one more thing to me. You say another goddamn word and I'll be at the Broad in five seconds. Say one more word. I'm going to climb up where that street art is. You want me to go to MoMA? Do you want me to go to MoMA? Because I will walk right down there right now. And I will fuck up. And this is your fault.

This is your fault. I'll fuck up a bottle. I'll fuck it up right now only use the no one will be able to tell yeah go ahead no no tell me about my drinking one more time and i'm going to lacma brian hernandez to drink because they have a bar i can't get past this brian hernandez reportedly decided to take his anger out by breaking breaking and entering into the dallas museum of art and smashing multiple vessels, bowls, and figurines valued at how much money?

If it's vessels and bowls, it doesn't really matter because you're like, we've seen the bowls. I could pull up the pics and you'd go, this son of a bitch. How much money? What were they valued at? No, no, no. I just can't.

Put your mic. All right. Hold on. Maybe he went into that to break in and get stuff and make money, but he broke one and he blamed his girlfriend. This is classic. Once you steal it, how are you going to sell it? He wouldn't even know.

If he's this level of person, he has no one to sell ancient vessels. Did she love ancient artifacts? That would seem somehow. No connection. Maybe she called his penis an ancient vessel. Artifact. An ancient artifact. Tell me about ancient artifact there must be some connection i mean she must have loved i just don't buy that he just went like maybe he broke a family heirloom of hers and then she was like old things have value and he was

like fuck you they do and then maybe she drives a pontiac aztec. The Vessels, Bulls, and Figurines were valued at how much money? $16.51 million. Okay. I'm going to say like $3 million. Okay. $780,000. Okay. They were valued at a whopping $5.1 million.

Wow. You're close, too. $5,153,000 to be exact, according to an arrest warrant. I know. I'm going to tell you he doesn't have that money. Hernandez. Oh, too. $5,153,000, to be exact, according to an arrest warrant. I know. I'm going to tell you he doesn't have that money. Hernandez. Oh, no. Hernandez allegedly used a metal chair to smash the glass entrance to the museum at about 9.40 p.m.

Once inside, he used a stool to destroy the rare and irreplaceable art pieces. So they were like, we have millions of dollars of art here. Yep. We're going to make it so only someone who has something as strong as a chair can get in. Yes. Because this is valuable. I know. We'll make sure.

I mean, if someone's got a chair, they're going to get in here and get their stuff. Even a Korean deli has the pull-down metal thing. If they have a plastic hanger, they're not getting in here. This guy has a chair. Wooden hanger? Wooden hanger? Wooden business? He allegedly told museum guards who found him with

the destroyed items that he, quote, got mad at his girl, so he broke in and started destroying property, according to the arrest document. The guards had Hernandez sit on a bench while they called police. When officers arrived, they arrested him for criminal mischief greater than $300,000. There's levels of criminal mischief. According to surveillance

footage and police, Hernandez allegedly destroyed two ancient painted vessels. A Greek amphora dating back to the 6th century BCE and a Greek pyxis dating back to 5th century BCE

which had a combined value of $500 million. What if we go back to the woman who painted that? She was like, one day, moron. And they thought she was so wrong. And then really she had the ability to predict the future. They're like, you'll love this. It's like, no, it's not going to be blanket.

It's like, no, they're not going to break it. It's not going to be blanket. It's really weird to have a skill to predict something that has to be 2,000 years from now. Oh, my God. No one ever proved it. So then they re-put it back together, and then while people are walking through, it starts to leak. Are you talking about the Brady Bunch? Yes.

He also smashed a Greek ceramic bowl from 550 BCE worth about $100,000 and a Cotto alligator figurine valued at $10,000. Both smashed to pieces. And a cup from best buy to get his hands on the pieces hernandez allegedly shattered two display cases worth seventeen thousand dollars that's just the case just the cases do you guys do this when you go to an art museum when they're just where the sign says bathroom you just stand there and look at it for a while. And get other people around. You're like, this is amazing. That's a good piece of... I mean, it tells you things.

There's no... Well, it's from a realism. I guess this is... This speaks to me. It's realism. Yes. This is untitled. That guy put a banana and duct tape on the wall.

That was a big deal. Big deal. Yeah, that was a huge... Hey, he also... Yeah. He also decided to destroy a computer, a phone, a bench, and signage in the museum. So is he still with the girl?

That's the question. God, I hope not. I hope not. She's like, all right, I'll take you back. I didn't know you were that. I didn't know you cared so much. Some women are turned on by a guy who just goes nuts. Some women do.

And men. He got so violent. She's like, I know. The Dallas Museum of Art said it's still in the process of assessing the total extent goes some women do like and men you got so bad face she's like i know the dallas museum of art said it's still in the process of assessing the total extent of the damages while we are devastated by this incident we are grateful that no one was harmed museum administrator said in a statement the safety of our staff and visitors along with the care and protection of the art is our in our stewardship are our utmost priorities i'd say not which based on the door that you can break

if i was the art museum i would have definitely taken a dig at him. Being like, the bowls and vessels, just like his relationship, will never be able to be put back together again. Hernandez is being held in the Dallas County Jail on a bond of $100,000. I'm going to ask you this. How old is Brian Hernandez? How old is Brian Hernandez? What age do you put a man who gets mad at a girl, breaks into a museum? He's over 16.

I mean, maturity-wise. But at what age is a museum on a radar of where I'm going to go? He's not in a range that would make sense. He's above 18. I'll tell you that. I would assume he's in his 20s. I'm going to say 23 is a violent age. Okay.

Jay, what do you think? 40. That's what I think is right because of what he said. Well, no. I mean, I think, like, as he's destroying it, like, I want to send a photo of that to Judd Apatow and be like, no, no, no, bro. This is 40. That's what I think is right because of what he said. I think as he's destroying it, I want to send a photo of that to Judd Apatow and be like, no, no, no, bro. This is 40. I'm going to say 31.

31? Brian Hernandez. We'll get out of story two on this. Is 21 years old. There it is. He knew what's up. 21 years old. Too dumb. His brain hasn't fully formed again. He knew. He knew what's up. 21 years old.

Too dumb. His brain hasn't fully formed. He can't even rent a car. There you go. Dan, give us a little tease of what we're going to get in segment three. Don't go in a hot air balloon. I can tell you that. Well, hold on.

Save it. I'll save it. I know. And for our Patreon fans, because we do that, we are going to promote this. Maybe you'll tell that story. Maybe I'll tell a story, or Kyle's going to have a dumb story or something dumb that he witnessed or that he did himself. We'll do all that right after the break at Some People Town.

Don't touch that dial. Stick around. Make it sound for more Dumb People Town. Alright, let's give some shout outs to the people that have supported us the ways that they have. Let's do number one, Dan. Ready?

Joe Gardner. He is constantly gardening like Ralph Fiennes. Right there, baby. Joe Gardner, attorney at law. Joe Gardner, male prostitute. Next up, Jan Brick. Jan Brick. Sounds like a 30 Rock character to me for some reason.

She's a brick and I'm driving slowly. Karen Bordani. Oh, Bordani. for some reason. She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly. Karen? Bourdaini. A Bourdaini. Now, I know some Bourdainis, but this isn't a Bourdaini. A Bourdaini has less carbs. I had a steak and a Bourdaini sauce. That was so rich.

So rich and buttery. So good. Courtney? Dishes. Dishes. Or as Chris Burr would say, two silhouettes on Deshaies. There you go. There you go.

Oh, by the way, Karen Bordani is a true local. Thank you, Karen. Courtney's a townie. Yeah. Ryan B. Ryan B. Ryan B. 1992 white hip-hop artist.

Indeed. And like very Christian. And he had five beepers. Very, very good. Five beepers. Subtly shit. Five different beepers attached to his hat brim. The next person is a true local.

They didn't give a name. It just says Disconcerted. Disconcerted. Which is like a porn about the internet age. It's a sexual thing. Yeah, the internet bubble. Disconcerted. Disconcerted.

Next up, we got Adam Craig. Also, Disconcerted means it's disc inserted, but also could be disconcerted. I'm disconcerted means it's disc-inserted, but also could be disconcerted. I'm disconcerted about this. Very true. So Adam Craig. Nate's brother. Right. Or a guy who, like, if he wants to start over and move to Montana and become a rancher,

could be Craig Adams. Or if you told me that Adam Conover's real name is Adam Craig, I'd be like, yeah, I'd buy it. Next up, Townie, is Crystal Brooke Malazzo. You got to go all three names on Crystal Brooke Malazzo. Get over here right now. Your father and I have been waiting for 45 minutes. Her name is Crystal Brooke Malazzo.

Your name is Crystal Brooke Malazzo. And there's a lot of things she wouldn't know. Okay, there we go. Ready? Next one, yes. Two local. El Mustachio. El Mustachio. Is that you? This is me. It could be me. I'm El wouldn't know. Okay, there you go. Ready? Nice one, yes. Two local. El Mustachio. El Mustachio.

Is that you? This is me. It could be me. I'm El Mustachio. There you go. Two local. Matt. Sawyer.

Sawyer. But I guarantee you. Sawyer. And I guarantee you people are like, Matt Slayer? He's like, no. No, it's Sawyer. Skyler Brothers? No.

That will never. Sawyer. That will never be resolved in my life. No, it's Saul-ier. Skyler Brothers? No, it's Saul-ier. That will never be resolved in my life. Where do you see an effing Y in our name? Are you ready for this next guy who is, if you told me he was the FBI and CIA, I would believe you. A hundred percent. Douglas Walsh. Douglas Walsh.

I loved him in A Few Good Men. They rode him around in the back of that car. Doug Walsh. Great jump shot. Little Dougie Walsh. Like a surprising jump shot. Who's coming along to the water slides? Little Dougie Walsh. Like a surprising jump shot. Who's coming along to the water slides? Little Dougie Walsh.

Hey, you know who got a job on Wall Street? Who? Little Dougie Walsh. He's a graduate. Yeah, he's on Wall Street. You know who's missing? Who? Doug Walsh.

You know who's going to find him? The next person on our list who is a pillar of the community, J.P. Mata. Mata? Mata. Mata. Mata. What's the matter? What's the matter?

I want this to be John Why you looking so sad It's not so bad It's a nicer place I shut up at your face JPMata it's a song it's a dumb song Is that like from a bat mitzvah I want you to give me the most

Pillar of the community This is the alias I should check into every motel with next. Ready? Yep. Christopher Johnson. Christopher Johnson. King-sized bed, Mr. Johnson? Yep, absolutely.

I've used an alias at a hotel before. This next guy. James Dugan. Do you know who that is? No. Tom Hanks' character from A League of Their Own. Oh, my God. This next guy could have been like a catcher who made it up

for the major leagues for literally just a game. I thought you were going to say one of the guys you'd see on Saturday morning wrestling in blue tights. That is already in the ring. From Dayton, Ohio. Max Armbruster. Bruster.

I'm Armbruster's millions. Okay, ready? True local. Jeff T. Hall. Brewster. I'm a Brewster. I'm arm Brewster's millions. Okay. Okay. Ready? True local. Jeff T. Hall. Jeff T. Hey, it's Jeff T. You think he gets JTH? JTH, man. If you're nasty.

Okay. Next up. Sarah S. Sarah S. I love you, Sarah S. Sarah S. One of my favorite Edie Burkell and the New Bohemian songs. And then Campbell Lempie.

Lempie. Or Lemp. Lemp. Campbell Lemp. She walks with a limp. He walks with aie. Or Lemp. Lemp. Campbell Lemp. She walks with a limp. He walks with a limp. Or he walks with a limp. Guess who's a true local?

Who? Karen Wachtell. Karen Wachtell. Do you know who that is? No. She is one of the people that runs the High Plains Comedy Festival. Thank you, Karen Wachtell. With Adam, Kate, and Holland and so many other great people.

I love you, Karen. She is a wonderful person and very supportive. By the way, I'm going to say that we will do that. You guys, I think you saw her. I think you for supporting comedy. She's a wonderful person. By the way, I'm going to say that we will do that. You guys, I think you saw her I think you met her briefly. It's probably post-goddamn comedy jam at Moon Tower. You guys are in a crazy rock star

case. I love you. I love you, Karen. How about Dee Dee Pinball? Look. Dee Dee That is not their name. But if it was their name, Dee Dee Pinball could have any job they applied for. So if you told me that, by the way, the next guy was in Leonard Skinner,

I would believe you. Ryan Van Sant. Ryan Van Sant. Ryan Van Sant. Not Sant. Sant. Ryan Van Sant. Which sounds like he's a cover band for another person.

Hey, we are Think Floyd. And coming up next, you got Ryan Van Sant, guys. This next person is a cover band for another person. Hey, we are Think Floyd. And coming up next, you got Ryan Van Sant, guys. This next person is a pillar of the community and I wish we had a last name here, but you know what? Sometimes people don't want that last name. Ethan B. Thank you. Ethan B. Amazing. Ethan B. A pillar of the community.

Ethan B. A pillar of the community. And how about Rachel B. She B. A townie. She B. A townie. Thank you. Not She B. Carly and She B. A townie. Here, talk about names always throwing me off. We'll do two more. Let's do three more. Ellen. Knudsen. You do go with the K?

Or do you go Knudsen? When do you know? I think it's Knudsen and I love her cottage cheese. I'm just going to say that. I love Knudsen cottage cheese. Very chunky and very tasty. All right, next. True local.

Thomas. Bona? Bona. Hey, Bona. Hey, Bona. He's a bona fide. Thomas Bona? Hey Bona! Hey Bona! He's a bona fide Thomas Bona. Charles F. Woodward IV.

If he's not a suspect on a Law & Order SVU episode If he does not walk around in an ascot most of the day If all of his shirts aren't monogrammed I'm going to be angry. Thank you to all of you who have't monogrammed, I'm going to be angry. Charles F. Woodward IV. Thank you to all of you who have supported us. We love you guys.

This is so much fun to get to chat to. We're still more on this list and the list grows and we love nothing more than shouting you out and saying thank you to you guys. We can't wait to see you all when we're on tour. That's right. Come see us. Yeah, come see us. Let's get back to the show. Alright, Daniel, take us home. Okay, I'm going to reminder to everybody that in a

couple weeks, we will all start doing these stories together. I literally can't wait. But I have the third one today. Daniel, take it. Here we go. Sent in by Jake Groney. He's double dipping. He's double dipping today.

At Jake Groney. Thanks for the double contribution. The buch, dude. Buch, bro. Thanks for the buch, dude. So you've been on a hot air balloon? I have been on a hot air balloon. Okay, hold on.

You have? Never would I ever do that. Same. Not once in a stupid life. Okay. They're just like, oh, I hope the wind doesn't take us to power lines. Right. Is that the whole thing?

How do you control this? We don't. We don't. We're on God's good humor. Right, right, right. How do we go up and down? Well, we kind of have some influence on it. So you're checking the bottom of the basket all the time so that it's not going to

create a hole and you'll just drop straight in. Where's the rudder? Don't have one. We hope the wind goes in a circle so you return to where your car is. Exactly right. Burlington, Wisconsin. Here's the headline. Hot air balloon crashes, hits train in Burlington. Yeah.

So not only does it crash, it crashes into a train. Front side train. This is like the beginning of Magnolia. This is one of those, surely this is not one of those things. Or a rock movie. Just the coincidences of- Dude, they ran a train on him. Did it get hit front train or side train? I think they went right into the side. Everyone dead? The boxcar. I don't think so. A hot air balloon crashed in Burlington on Wednesday night, hitting a train.

Burlington police say three adults on board suffered injuries. The balloon went down on Calumet and Pine Streets. So, Wisconsin. Early reports from witnesses on scene indicate the hot air balloon appeared in distress and collided with a northbound Canadian national train. I noticed all the paramedics, fire trucks, and rescue vehicles going by. A lot of them went by at the same time. That's also a super Wisconsin quote. That's a very Wisconsin thing.

I noticed all the paramedics, fire trucks, rescue vehicles going by. They all got the alert. They all went by at the same time. I go, it's during a goddamn parade. There's no candy. I knew it. It's not the 4th of July. So I says, did you say it

back then are you saying i says it i says to those guys don't be a feared he's alia underwood saw the balloon going down seconds before it crashed into the train at first i saw the train and i saw the hot air balloon being sucked down by the wind of the train and then it popped back up and then i saw the basket and it was gone i saw things wind of the train, and then it popped back up, and then I saw the basket, and it was gone. I saw things dangling, and I'm like, there's nobody. They fell out of the basket. So the balloon comes back up without the basket. Right, because they jumped out.

No, I don't. They maybe got hit. No, no, the wind went up. They hit the train. They hit the train. They jumped out, and then the balloon got lighter, and they went up. Yeah, but this says no basket. I saw the basket.

The wire, the ropes got cut by the train. Ropes got cut by the train. Yes. Oh, my God. Wait, what happened to you when you did it? You loved it? No. Wine country?

I went with my wife. It was our first anniversary, and I planned the trip. I planned the trip. I was a little scared of it. You planned the hot air balloon trip. I was like, this is going to be great. We go up one mile, over one mile, and down. How do they know?

I'm sure there's some steering. Dan, you know this story right we go up and the guy who's the balloon pilot his name was maverick shut up i was like that's a terrible name yes maverick that's his plyo he's missing three is dangerous right he's missing three fingers nice dan he's missing three fingers so this guy's already made three bad decisions wait which ones do you remember on? On his piloting hand. Well, that's a whole other thing. But it wasn't his thumb, right?

But which fingers? Not his thumb. Like, he had his thumb and forefinger, pointer and thumb. But it was these three that he's like are nubs. Pilots accident prone. That's good. So he's got a little gripper. He's either accident prone or unlucky.

He's got a little gripper. Both are bad. Or risky. Or risky. So he's radioing down. Dan, he's radioing down to a guy in a van who's driving along, and then they're going to pick us up and take us. And he says to the van, while all of us are in the basket, there's like 12 of us in the basket, he's like, I got a wind. I'm going with it.

What? I got a wind. I'm going with it. You have to. We go 14 miles. We were supposed to go one up and one over into another valley, and we don't have clearance to land. So Maverick radios down to the van who's just trying to catch up, and the van's like, he's like, knock on doors and see if we can land in this area. I'm like, knock on doors?

What are you talking about? No one's answering. He says, I see a little area between the hillside and this farm over here. I'm going to land it over there. And then as we're going down and we're coming down fast. 13 miles from where you're supposed to land. Yeah, but you went 14. You're supposed to go one.

13 miles away from where you're supposed to land. Yeah, but you went 14. You're supposed to go one. 13 miles away from where you're supposed to be. So then he goes to land and he says, when the basket hits, everybody jump up. I'm like, that's your plan? Everybody jump up? Like Wile E. Coyote? It hits and we jump. We jump.

And then we all fall over and there's German cups on us. The basket falls to the side. And we get out and now they're just- You're crawling out. There are a bunch of cows around us. Cows. A cow chased a big gal around a tree. Like, treat her.

Well, now you're writing a song. Chase her around a tree. And then we come out. And we have to climb through a barbed wire fence to get to- Prior to the Cow of Illinois. That's where it was invented. Again, this is up in Napa. To get into the van. And then we went and had lunch. That's where it was invented. Again, this is up in Napa, to get into the van

and then we went and had lunch and I was like, I ripped my favorite jeans going through the barbed wire fence. So at that point, I said to my wife, Jason, remember the crucial thing. At that point,

I had a complaint about that. So I was so mad. I could have busted into an art museum and destroyed some old thing. That's how mad I was about my jeans. Does he apologize profusely? Here's how mad I got. I forced my wife to go up and complain for me.

And so she goes up and complains. And they gave me a T-shirt. Excuse me, a polo from the balloon company. It was bright orange with a little multicolored balloon thing. And I get it back to the bed and breakfast that we're staying, which was also a Christian bed and breakfast, which was really weird couldn't curse in it and i put the shirt on and it's like three sizes too small so it is a like a ring it's almost like i'm about to go into a pride parade sure looking great the thing on looking good i felt great but i was like

i can't wear this thing anywhere and i then turned to my wife and she was i was like how many can you please go return it and see if you can get me another because i didn't want to get involved how many people she was like fuck no and then the people from the bed breakfast came in and was like can you please not use that sure how many people were in the basket like 12 oh my god i was picturing four big ass basket i'll try and find pictures of that isn't that crazy i think this happens all the time yeah i 100 agree but like under a train under i'm glad we didn't get hit by a photo from another I'll try and find pictures of that. Isn't that crazy? I think this is what happens all the time. Yeah, I 100% agree. But like under a train?

I'm glad we didn't get hit by a train. A photo from another view showed the balloon missing its basket, tangled in power lines. The pilot reported while attempting to land the hot air balloon on the 400 block of Calumet Street, the gondola touched down and the balloon became entangled with a northbound Canadian train. The pilot was affiliated with some company. That doesn't matter for us.

Burlington Police said flight for life airlifted two people. So, yeah, some people got hurt. Third patient was got in an ambulance. I'm a flight for choice person. People are from Arlington Heights, Illinois. I'm very familiar. The pilot, 62, is from Bristol, Wisconsin. That's our third story.

Boo. God. Scary. I hope everyone's all right. I think they're all going to be okay but don't, I would never would you do it again? no, I'm like I've done it, I don't need to do it again

I don't need to go up in a hot air balloon I've never done it and I feel like I don't need to I felt like I was in an air supply I wonder if I would rather skydive than a hot air balloon I would never skydive not in a million years but if something I've read too many stories recently about just parachutes not opening

Or things getting tangled You're in a TikTok hole I'm in a TikTok hole I can't do it, it was spinning around Don't change that algorithm Alright, that's a show Kyle Dunnigan, youtube.com slash Kyle Dunnigan That's how we do it

Subscribe to him, follow him And then when you're on YouTube, go over and watch our episode of the Nosebleeds and like that. Better. And oh shit, we got to get back to work. We'll see you next time Stick around. Make a sound. Calm your down. It's Dumb People Town. Star Bands Audio.

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