Dumb People Town - Kyle Newacheck - Point of No Return

Episode Date: November 4, 2022

This week Kyle Newacheck comes to town to hang with Daniel, Randy and Jason. This week's story is another classic tale of something inside of someone that shouldn't be there.

Skypains Avenue Hey, townies. Welcome to a Friday episode of Dumb People Town. Population news. Population. Kyle Nuchak. Kyle Nuch kyle new a check what's third dude what's up buddy thank you for respecting in a long line of kyle new a check that's right and you're here we'll get into it a little bit but you're here promoting a movie yeah that you made that the idea started with that hat you you saw the hat first so here's the best part about this is that we just had our friend

Jillian Bell and Natalie Morales we had them on to talk about this so we're going to talk about it with you all sorts of good stuff happening but dude you directed a number of episodes of what we do in the shadows and you got to direct us in some stuff which was so great I mean the fact we got to be up there and hang out with you, it just makes me so happy. And what a treat. I mean, the stuff came out great. It's fantastic, right? Were you happy with how it all came out? Yeah.

People loved it. But, like, specifically the unit stuff that we did, which was basically our fake show with you. Oh, that show open? That fake produced open for Go Flip Yourself, I think, is, like, should be submitted. Didn't you have, like, editor friends who were like, wait. Oh, no. I was running. I was walking in Silver Lake, and some guy was like, I'm an editor, and I've edited a

number of those specific shows for HGTV. You guys. I was like, it wasn't us. It was Yana Gorskaya. It was Kyle Nuchak. I was like, these guys got it right. Yeah. Yana had a whole like graphics pack made up just for it from her editor friends,

and she just geeked on that episode so hard. I hope they submit that one for an Emmy. It worked really well. I mean, dude, the payoff in the season, it was like, why is he watching this? Why is he watching this? Oh, shit, they're doing an entire departure. I know.

It was so great. I was hyped on that. It was great, and it was fun, and this leads into kind of what we're going to do on this show, because these guys were so dumb. I loved how dumb they were. They were just not dumb in a way of like dumb, dumb, but they were just dumb.

Like, hey, a knucklehead. Everybody's a knucklehead. Fun dumb. Fun dumb. That's what we're only here for. We are here for fun dumb. So let's get into a dumb story. Jay's got the wheel this time.

I got the wheel, and I'm going to work really hard to not reveal things. Don't reveal anything, because the best part is when we guess people's age, we guess how much damage they did. All that stuff. So don't reveal any numbers. How far they ran on one leg. Jay is famous for, as he's reading, being like, so two 21-year-olds were like, Jay!

Sorry, okay, here we go. Stop it. No context. Less context, more stupidity. Ready? Here's the headline. This is sent in by Adam Poulton. Oh, this is Poultski75. So what we do is if you want to, and we'll let you know and we'll let all our fans know, if you want to send it in.

Yeah, Kyle, if you ever come across a dumb story. At Sklar Brothers, at Daniel Van Kirk, hashtag dumb people town. And then we know who sent it at the right time. So we get a timeline. Sometimes a bunch of people send us the same story. We try to go with the first. We go with the first one that was sent in, and this tells us. So we're fair.

All right. So, okay. Man shoved. Already. Already like this could go in any way. Pig at petting zoo. I don't know. What would you say? If I just start this.

You got into a fight with a pig? I don't know. Maybe. Maybe you're mine. I don't know. Man shoved. What do you think it is? don't know. Man shoved. I first wanted to say, I always think. Obviously, I know where you go.

I always think it may be because I was a door guy for nine years before acting in comedy and all that stuff. I always think the most powerful thing someone can do is not get in a fight and win. It's get shoved and walk away. Oh, my God. That's a power play. It's the most powerful. That's a power play. It's the most. Power over strength. Because the person who shoved you thought, oh, I'm going to shove, and it'll get going.

You change the outcome. And if you get shoved and go, okay, man. You have the strength to change. And you walk away. People are like, oh, he's. So, Dan, what do you think the rest of this is? Man shoved. I mean, one time I did have to shove a goat.

I don't know why I love. I thought it was an animal. I don't know why I love. So now you've got me. I was like, they took me to a farm. They're like, Dan, get in with the goats, Danny. And they thought it would be funny. How old are you?

Six. Twenty-seven. I was born and raised on farms. The goats did not want me in there. Of course not. I have a trauma memory, a core trauma memory of the goat coming at me, and I caught both of its legs as it was like rearing to get me. And then I

remember one of my family members being like, okay, get out, get out, get out. Let's get out of the goats. Okay. What did he shove? Well, he shoved something up something. That's what I'm saying. What do you think? You guys are like, he shoved as pushed.

That was the last thing I was thinking about. Finish it in your brain. I mean, he's got to be shoving. Shampoo bottle. I'm going shampoo bottle. Yeah, it's like you go there. Shampoo bottle. You're in the bathroom.

You want to explode. Explode his mouth. Yeah, he shoved a shampoo bottle. Also, shoved is too violent because if we are going in the body, it should be inserted. Inserted. Don't shove. So you say shoved it up his ass? Well, that's what you immediately think of.

I wasn't going to say it. You're so far down the... If you're at the shoved level, you've been in the process for a while. All right, fine. Accidentally sat on a Harry Potter wand.

Okay, fine. Man shoved, and I won't give the length of how much it is. Okay. Or the girth. Deodorant can up his butt. Oh!

Give it up. Comma left it there for... and we'll get to how long later okay all right let's get to the detail whoa whoa hold on wait a deodorant can like aerosol yeah don't do that you don't want anything you're killing the environment up your ass yeah i also feel like you're fucking with a lot of pressure like literally that's like i've seen those things explode hit him with a hammer my dad was in construction we used to just bang this shit out of cans and let them pop

this is like a whole new if you like those farts on fire you could burn down a house dude imagine this is gonna sound stupid I mean it's ass body spray I feel like somebody who's doing shampoo bottles or

body spray deodorant or whatever, they are too embarrassed to go to a sex shop or they're just taking what they have rather than owning what their thing is. They make things for this. They make things for this very purpose. And you don't have to start with such a blunt object. No. You can start with

more of a tapered look. I just wish there was a service where you could say, hey, I'm repressed, I'm too embarrassed, and then somebody would go, oh, well, then I'll donate for you. And then you don't have to go to, I'll get it, I'll leave it here. We'll send this unmarked box to your house. Are you too repressed or too afraid to say you want this in your life? I'll buy it, I'll leave it here.

We'll do like a Russian information drop. Up in Laurel Canyon, there's in a bunch of places, there are like little library boxes with a bunch of books. Take one, leave one. Take a dildo. Take a dildo, leave a dildo. Take a butt plug, leave a butt plug. Glass, you can take some lube.

Leave some lube. Refill the lube. The endless. That's what the Olive Garden should have. take some lube. Re-flenish. Re-flenish the lube. Re-fill the lube. The endless. That's what the Olive Garden should have, bottomless lube. Bottomless lube. Right here, you're family. No, you're not family. Different type of garden.

He tried. Yeah, yeah. Not family. You're not family here. Right here, you're a stranger. All right. He tried to use a deodorant and ended up with an antipoosprint. That's what they wrote.

They wrote it? Kyle, you are allowed to destroy that. Why would you destroy that? Because that was fun for me. I love that energy. Don't change it. Antipoosprint. All right.

They said that? Antipoosprint? That was written in an article. A journalist wrote that. Well, they're pumped. They want to be in comedy. Come on. They want to be writing for comedy.

That is probably right. He wants out or she wants out. Yeah, that's a cry for help. They want out. Who wrote this article? I don't know. A how many year old man? We can start guessing.

This is where I could get sad. In India. In India. Had to be hospitalized after shoving a deodorant canister up his butt where it remained for and we'll decide on how long. I feel like I'll take a stab on the age stuff. I feel like this guy was old. I'm thinking the same.

Tell me how old. I feel like he was just like, I'm going 60s, like late 60s, just cruising, like nothing to lose. So 68? 68? I think it's like pre-70. Great. All right. Jay or Dan, what do you think?

I'm not going to guess because I know. No, I think you should guess. I want to go. I think you's like pre-70. Great. All right. Jay or Dan, what do you think? I'm not going to guess because I know. No, I think you should guess. I want a good one. I think you're right. I'll go 46 years old. Oh, okay. Midlife crisis. I think let's just-

But also been doing it for a while. For the sake of fun. Yeah, I think it's a late life exploration. But then that makes me sad. I think of all the deodorant he's bought if he's in his 60s. Think of how long he's been- Yeah, he's been thinking about it. Okay, so I think he's 37 and I think his parents are like, how long he's been yeah yeah okay so i think he's i think he's like 37

and i think his parents are like how can we not getting married we've arranged several for you and this is not right and he's like i need to just get this thing done because it's like the the attic who knows he's going to the you know the rehab and he's like i better just shove this up there fast he's like he's like you want to know why I'm not getting married? You want to know why? This is why. He shows him. And he farts out the most beautiful smelling menin. All right, okay.

Poopery? Poopery! That's already a product. That is. I did, you know. It's essentially what it was. Get your answers in. No anti-poosperin.

No anti-poosperin. I love it. The man in India was, you ready for this? Yeah. 27 years old. All right. A youngin. I love it. The man in India was, you ready for this? Yeah. 27 years old. All right. A youngster. A young guy.

Just experiment. Malleable, pliable. Just have fun, yeah. He's a very forgiving anus. He's always bumming me out, too, because I'm like, people will accept you. There will be people who want to do this with you. Yeah. Or won't care if you want to do it to yourself.

Find the group. What if his whole thing is that he wanted to do it by himself? That's right. You know what I mean? Now you're kind of like... Maybe, so... All right, Dan. Here's the problem.

You need something with a flare on the end. So, Dan, let me... So, can I ask this question for real? I don't know the answer to this. That's what happened here.

What if the element that it is not accepted is the thing that excites him the most? That could be it, too. Also, there could be people... I do know what you mean. They call that taboo. Also, there is a kink. Taboo. That's be it, too. Also, there is a kink.

That's tapu. There you go. There is a kink where he could say, no, I'm into it being household items and toiletries. Like, that is my kink. I want to stick the thing up my butt that someone in my house could be like, where's the X?

Where's the deodorant? Well, it's not lost on me that this is a smell-good aerosol can with a very smelly place. It's a smell-good story. It's a smell-good story. So maybe it's like, dude, I just stink so bad. I've got to put this out there. Maybe I can help it from the inside out. He's Armageddon-ing it.

It's Armageddon. You've got to drill it in and then blow it out. Blow it up from the inside out. It's a smell-good story. All right. Doctors shared a graphic video of the emergency room backdoor evacuation, noting that the team was shocked to witness the patient's gait. This was a big deal for us, tapas gosh,

the superintendent of Bird One Medical College. He's stoked. You know it's bad when you show up and the doctors are like, oh, what? Or someone's like, go to the maternity ward and get the birthing forceps yeah we gotta get this thing out you always say it's worse when your doctor gets quiet that's like when steve-o put the fucking tiny car in his butt and then went and got an x-ray you know it's like yeah you're like people are doing this as bits right it's not a bit so this wasn't kind of hacky at this point this wasn't knoxville like this wasn't't Johnny Knoxville. Do you want to know a quick crazy one? Yeah. Indian jackass. One of my aunts was an ER nurse and they had a guy come in and now it's

called sounding, right? We all know what sounding is, right? You stick something in your urethra, in your penis, and then you tap it and the vibrations. It's called sounding? Yeah, it's called sounding. You do sounding rods. This guy was, that term wasn't coined at the time. He had just taken an old school thermometer and was sounding himself, and then it broke with mercury was going, working its way out. Just that story sent chills in my whole body.

But also kind of hot. Mostly in my dick, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't hit that table. Sorry. Don't hit the table. Okay. Don't hit the table. Okay, go ahead. All right.

So the unnamed patient had reported to the medical facility located in West Bengal on Wednesday after experiencing severe abdominal pain. You think? Yeah. I wonder why I have this pain. Blocked up. I mean, the doctors there conducted several x-rays which revealed that the poor soul had a how many inch deodorant can? Inexplicably, I think we can explain it. Oh, you know what?

Yeah. Lodge in his colon. Yeah, you're right. You're totally kidding. It's not inexplicable. I'm going to say 10 inch deodorant cans. No way. I'm going to go eight.

Eight. What do you think? As soon as you said we're – Six or eight. I think it's a travel doggy. A travel doggy? I think it's a little travel doggy. Yeah, it's a little guy.

It's a little guy. How big? That seems more logical. I think it's like four inches. I think this is inflated. I think they want you to think it's 10 inches. You're saying like four inch. Whatever.

Yeah, four inch travel doggy. And you're right. More likely to get stuck in there now that i'm really taking this i'm really imagining really let it permeate you're walking the stupidity out i wonder if as he was putting it in and we're gonna take a break and we'll come back and we'll get the oops i wonder if as he's putting yeah it started going started going started again and then whoop and then it's like way up in and he's like i don't where did it go so you're saying it's like at the bank when you're parked outside the thing

and you drop the thing and it goes – Yeah, yeah, yeah. There is a point of no return. That's what people – No deposit, no return. Your – I'm going to say this right into the microphone for once. Dan. Your butt is made to keep things in until you relax and try hard enough to let

them out. So if there is a point at which you go in, your rectum is going to want to take it in. Suck it back in. There's a point. There's a point, as Kyle said. It's the point of no return. So four, ten, eight.

We're going to take a break. When we come back, we're going to find out about the movie that Kyle directed. I'm totally fine. I didn't direct it. You're in it? You're in it. I'm in it, baby. You're in it, baby.

I love it. Listen, director, producer, actor, all the things that he does. He directed a Sandler movie, though, right? Oh, yeah. I've directed stuff, but I don't want to step on Brandon Durham or the director's stuff. No, no, no. Of course. Of course.

Okay, good. I appreciate that. And again, you know because the director deserves the love that the director gets on these things. We'll talk about all of it. I'm totally fine. I'm totally fine. I'm totally fine. That's what it is.

And then we will tell you when we come back on the other side of the break how big this deodorant is. Take a break. We'll be right back. Stick around. Make a sound. There's more Don't People Town. We all know this. Our loved ones are complex, beautiful mysteries.

But Uncommon Goods knows exactly what they want, whether you're shopping for mom, dad, teenagers, in-laws, your best friends, or yourself. Uncommon Goods can make it easy to find remarkable and truly original gifts for everyone. So my wife loves to cook, and I got her some of these Uncommon Goods. They're like measuring spoons, but they're not spoons.

They're like tiny little bowls with little handles on them. They're the coolest things I've ever seen, and she loved them so much. She loves so much from Uncommon Goods. So I'm going to shop like crazy on Uncommon Goods for her and my daughter. How about a backyard giant Jenga set that you can play? I'll take it. I'll take it. Send her a bar in Austin.

I really love their shower steamers. So much of what they have is great, not only for all the people in your life, but maybe something for you, too. So I love these guys. Uncommon Goods looks for products that are high-quality, unique, and often handmade in the U.S., and they have the most meaningful out-of-the-ordinary gifts anywhere. Who knows what holiday shipping will look like this season, and we all know it can get fed up and hard and difficult, and the unique gifts at Uncommon Goods can sell out fast. So shop now and get it taken care of early boom check it off they also offer uncommon experiences which

are more than virtual classes there are unexpected opportunities to have fun and connect in new ways from tarot card reading romantic map cooking and mixology classes and more when you shop at uncommon goods you're supporting artists and small independent businesses and with every purchase you make an uncommon goods they give a dollar back to a nonprofit partner of your choice, and they've donated more than $2 million to date. To get 15% off your next gift, go to uncommongoods.com slash DPT. That's uncommongoods.com slash DPT for 15% off. Don't miss out on this limited time offer on Uncommon Goods. They are all out of the ordinary.

Hey, townies. Today we are talking to you about NordVPN. VPNs protect your internet connection and privacy online. They create an encrypted tunnel for your data, protect your online identity by hiding your IP address, and will allow you to use public Wi-Fi hotspots safely. NordVPN does all of that while also bringing you an unparalleled user experience. So here's the deal. NordVPN is easy to use.

You can connect with just one click or even enable auto-connect. It's also the fastest VPN out there confirmed by speed tests. NordVPN is easily accessible with over 5,600. That's 5,600 servers in 59 countries available on every major platform. Windows, Android, iOS, Mac, OS, Linux. Yeah. Even your Android TV supports NordVPN. servers in 59 countries available on every major platform windows android ios mac os uh linux yeah even your android tv supports nord vp hey it's also great for streaming if there's a platform that you can't access in your country this is very important use nord vpn to change your virtual location and you'll have that content in no time that's so very key super key so head over to

nordvpn.com slash dpt to get a big discount off your NordVPN plan plus four additional months for free. It's risk-free with Nord's 30-day money-back guarantee. Visit nordvpn.com slash dpt to learn more. Boom. This show, guys, is sponsored by BetterHelp. And navigating any of life's challenges can make you feel unsure whether it's a career change, your relationship, or becoming a parent. Therapists are trained to help you figure out the cause of challenging emotions and learn productive coping skills,

which makes therapy the closest thing to a guided tour of the complex engine called you. BetterHelp has connected over 3 million people with licensed therapists. It's convenient and accessible anywhere 100% online. So obviously, you know, we are therapy people. My wife is a therapist. We've all been in our own therapy. And we understand how valuable and important this is. Whether you're going through a massive crisis in your life or just a change in your life,

this is a person who's not a friend, who's not loaded with personal connections. They can just listen to you. They can listen objectively. And they're trained to help you cope. And it's so great the way you get that person. You get matched with a therapist after filling out a brief survey and you can switch therapists anytime. There's no waiting

rooms, no traffic, no endless searching for the right therapist. Plus, it's affordable. Learn more and save 10% off your first month at BetterHelp.com slash DPT. That's BetterHelp.com slash DPT. BetterHelp.com slash DPT. Betterhelp.com slash dpt. All right, Rand and I talk often about the gifts we've gotten for our mom through Brooklyn.

And we got her the cashmere sheets that she loves more than anything in this world and always tells us. As the weather is starting to get cold, specifically in St. Louis. And I know wherever you're listening to this, it might be getting cold. It's getting cold in L.A. We got in her towels. Got in her towels. Got in her robe. Sheets, cold, specifically in St. Louis. And I know wherever you're listening to this, it might be getting cold. It's getting cold in L.A. We got in our towels. Got in our towels. Got in our sheets, robe, all those things. It is truly, they've been some of the best gifts we've ever given.

And their thoughtful assortment of home essentials make your space a soft place to land. Bedding, decor. They have so much to keep the comfort that you like through these winter months. As we hunker down, right, Rand? I love it. They deliver high quality beautiful home essentials by partnering with top caliber manufacturing partners using only the highest grade materials we can attest to that the result it's durable they last better

with everyday use that's the other thing they get better they get softer it's just fantastic all bedroom activities get softer over time so if you're picking presents for loved ones or keeping things for yourself they have the top quality coziness we all deserve. They have the robes we talked about, blankets. They have the sheets. The sheets are the best. I love the towels.

They're all incredible with Brooklinen's rewards program. It literally pays to be comfy. You get points, discounts, and more with every purchase. Just sign up and start saving. It's really...

They got holiday bundles. They got all sorts of stuff. Just do this, okay? Let the gifting begin. Go to brooklinen.com. That's B-R-O-O-K-L-I-N-E-N.com. Use the promo code DUMB for $20 off and free shipping on orders of $100. That's D-U-M-B at B-R-O-O-K-L-I-N-E-N.com.

Use the promo code DUMB. Hey, guys. Welcome back to the show. Our guest is the great Kyle Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek. I like Nowacek. Nowacek.

Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek.

Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek.

Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek.

Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek.

Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek.

Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek.

Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek. Nowacek. Now it's Van Kirk, and there are people who go, no space. In my family, there are people like, very few no spaces, but there are people who go, no capitalized K. And then other people are like, space, both capitalized. Yeah, it's tough. That's what I do. It is space.

It's Van Kirk, spaced, both caps. I think the biggest thing, if you don't know how to pronounce it, just my biggest advice is just take a swing take a swing take a swing dude sklar is so hard for people because there are three constants in a row just fuck people up people are like okay mr skyler i'm like where do you see a why where do you see a why tell me or they take away they'll go scar scar no no skier scar bros Whoa, that's kind of fucking hard. Scar Bros is their true crime show. Are you going?

But the Nowacek brothers are like, these guys were just- They both played for the Maple Leafs. They started in the NHL. Penalty minutes. They just hacked people to death. Beat them up. All right. So obviously what we do in the shadows is involved with that.

And let's talk about this movie because we just had Jillian and Natalie on they were so good and you know they're talking about this movie and it just it's out right now people are loving it people are loving it it's out I want people to see it it's in theaters in the art house theater I'm totally fine you produced it you're in it and who directed it Brandon Dermer nice yeah good buddy of mine so wait so tell me how did it come about I know you kind of really this is like a something you really wanted to see the light of day. And there are all those people who are like, I really want to do this, and they never actually do it. Yeah, this was absolutely that like pipe dream of like, you know what, let's make a movie without a studio.

And just do something where the creativity is the decider. Yeah, exactly. Like the heart is the decider, the laughter is the decider. Yeah, exactly. Like the heart is the decider, the laughter is the decider. There's not too many analytical conversations going on that aren't pertaining to that. And you guys shot it in like what? 10 days? 14 days or 10 days?

We shot it in 10 days. Wow. Yeah, yeah. I didn't think that that was possible before. I did a 10-day feature. How big was the script? 100 pages no we actually we cut it down it was gonna be it was a hundred but then we couldn't afford to shoot

like the opening actually so we were like let's just jump into the story wow yeah so that's sometimes that too that necessitates creativity well so because it does it does we made the box because i mean it was during coven right so it it was December of 2020 is when we set out to make this thing. Amazing. Yeah, like pre-vaccine. Which is balls on its own. Yeah, man. Yeah.

On its own, that's like, we're going to do this thing. So that's, okay, that's early COVID. Yeah. That's like nine months in. No, you said no vax. No vax. Yeah, no vax. Worry.

No vax. Basically, when we started writing the script, it was July of that year. You know, the summer when the fucking beaches were closed and stuff. And it was july of that year you know the summer when the fucking beaches were closed and stuff and it was like wow what is going on we're gonna write this thing so we wrote it and then yeah we were like well let's just keep it small let's i didn't want to go through 2020 having not created something because i really do try to create at least something that i can you know present to the world every year that's a great goal it's something that keeps me like you know yeah sane i love it yeah a lot no it's great can i ask you are you a fan as you guys are

doing putting this story together and everything are you a fan of like all the black mirror stuff like the thing you think could be good for you may end up not being or like too much of a good thing or the thing you think is going to benefit you can end up hurting you or being just not knowing the other side. Yeah, but I mean like those Black Mirror where you're like, okay, you want this opportunity to have this thing? This seems great not knowing the other side of it. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, I liked, if you mean, I haven't watched Black Mirror. Okay. No worries. Twilight Zone type stuff. I feel like you would love it. Twilight Zone is off the charts. You would love it.

Things that just keep you kind of thinking. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, there was, I was explaining, I think, in here, the Black Mirror episode about the woman who's- Yeah, with Domino Gleason. Yeah, the woman whose spouse just gets in a car accident and dies, and she has technology that can bring this whole thing back, and the person can do a doll and all that stuff.

Yeah, be careful what you wish for. And it was wonderful wonderful and it was great for a very period of time. But then she realized, spoiler alert, that like it wasn't him. There was just something off about it and it wasn't him. And it's like you don't know that

until you're actually in through the thing. And what a lesson that is in life. You just don't know sometimes until you're actually in the middle of it, which is really a lesson about go experience things because you just don't know which direction they're going to go right well that's exactly the laying grief yeah that that's what brought this about because i mean obviously in 2020 everything was ripped out from underneath us like and the director brandon dermer like you know he had this whole like lineup where he was going to go do a movie it was supposed to be what he thought in his mind

was going to be his year that was like okay i'm going to take a hold of this you know and i was the same way i was ready to go out to travel and make make a movie in columbia and like you know and then all of a sudden it was like oh nobody's. And so we all collectively felt powerless. Yeah. So when Dermer brought up this idea of, you know, embracing that and actually making a movie about just living through those uncomfortable moments. Sure, yeah. It just absolutely spoke to me. Like, I wanted to produce something small and something without the studios

because i the movie that i did before this was murder mystery which was yeah sandler movie it was huge it was all the toys yeah and what i wanted to do was try and build a small box and just kind of see what happens yeah what happens you know because you start thinking like oh i need all this stuff to make this i need all this this stuff. And then it's like, no. No. I'm just... You need a good story and good actors. Yeah, cameras, good actors, believability.

Like, you're having fun with it. And only getting like three takes, four takes. Yeah, sometimes you don't need 10 takes. Exactly. You have to trust it. We're shooting like 10, 11, 12 pages a day. You need to make sure you get it. I always think about the movie Tommy Boy

that was a studio film, but they treated it like it wasn't. I mean, they were on the day, like every day being like, what do You need to make sure you get it. I always think about the movie Tommy Boy that was a studio film, but they treated it like it wasn't. I mean, they were on the day, like every day being like, what do we need to get today? Yeah. And what joke is going to win out? What story point is going to win out? And obviously with like Spade and Farley, you're operating.

But like they were kind of operating on that sort of like small level of just them. And they were running the risk of pissing off a lot of people who wrote checks. But this is going, no, none of those people are going to be here they don't exist on this project this is us this is us making this for the sake of making it and i hope everybody watches it if you haven't seen it yet so yeah watch it again i'm totally fine you can get it on vod you can go like look it up if you're looking like hey man i want to go see a movie this weekend you know yeah if you're lucky enough it's by an art house theater by you. I think we're in like 20 spots over America.

So we're out there. But VOD, absolutely you can get it on iTunes or Amazon. I feel like this is as important as anything with your consumer dollars or the choice you make of what to see. You can say, I want this guy and these people to make more movies. This guy makes another movie, he'll put us in it. There you go. Yeah, you know it.

You know it. But even if it's like, I hear a lot of people complaining going, the only movies out there are Marvel movies, da, da, da. Well, the way to change that

is to support this movie so that someone else is like, yeah, we need to make a couple of those movies every year. We need to have some of it. So, all right, go check it out. I mean, dude, that's exactly right. those movies every year. We need to have some of it. So, all right. Go check it out.

I mean, dude, that's exactly right. That's exactly right. You have to. And I feel that, you know, through the process of making this and making a complete independent film, like, I find myself searching for the commerce. Yeah. And it's like, where is the commerce? We're going to make it happen on this show.

Yeah. That's how we do it. We got to. Let's get 25,000 people to go see the show. That's how we make it happen on this show. We got to support it. Let's get 25,000 people to go see the show. That's how we do it. Vote with your bucks. That's America, man. Vote with your bucks. You know what to do.

Speaking of small, uncomfortable things that you have to work through, when we left, you guys all had your guesses for how big the deodorant can was that was lodged in this man's colon near his anus. Kyle said four inches.

I said ten. I said ten. Daniel said eight. One of you is one half inch away. Okay. Oh, it's three and a half. Three and a half? You can go in there.

I think five and a half. Seven and a half. Get your answers in. Because I don't want it to be eight and a half. Get your answers in because the size of the deodorant can. I'm so fucking ready. Seven and a half inches. Daniel!

That is also enormous. That's big. I'm looking at this. This is six inches. I've got another guess. Ready? I've never held anything seven and a half inches in my hand ever. To make matters worse, the camera's reportedly lodged up there for how many days?

Now, this is the deal. You're 27. If he was really old, I would even maybe think longer or maybe faster. Really? At what age are you like? Yeah, because if you're young, you think this will work itself out. I'll poop it out. Yeah.

I'll pass it. My body will like. But now you're talking like tetanus, right? I don't know. Oh, no. Are you talking tetanus? Because that's like metal. Like the rust on the can.

That's like metal. You know, like if you. If you leave like a shaving cream bottle in the, in the, or can. Into the shower. In the shower. It starts to get rusty. Look, I'm not, I don't need to pry into any of our sex lives. But if any of you had a sexual, if you had a sexual mishap right away.

Something has gone wrong. Terrible. You get it done. Wouldn't you go straight to the ER? This is where the shame comes in. I know, but wouldn't you just go straight to the ER? Wait, what's the shame coming into it? He's saying that he's sticking something up here that's not a dildo.

It's a household item. He has shame that that's in it. Obviously. I mean, if it's gone for a long time, I'm going to assume shame. Okay. Yeah, but this dude slept like this? I don know eight meals what's your guess definitely slept on his stomach all right i haven't i haven't oh you go last i haven't thought about it i'm still like i'm still weighing this out ran i think this was in there for six days wow yeah see i was i went small on the last go ahead go small again i small again. I'll go 11 days. 11 days. How long?

I think that it is. You got three days of denial, and then you've got like four days of it'll work itself out. And then he had a day of like, okay, it didn't. Maybe tomorrow I'll go. And then the next day. No, tomorrow I'll go. I'm going to go. And the next day he's like, I have to go today.

But he couldn't make himself do it. And then the 11th day, I think I'm at 11. He was like. On the 11th day. He's like, I have to go today. But he couldn't make himself do it. And then the 11th day, I think I'm at 11. He was like, mom, just drop me off. Drop me off a half a block away. I'll walk up to the hospital myself. What do you think? Dude, I mean, well, the last time I left something in my what's up? Yeah.

But see, with flair, people do do that. There are people who insert and go out and have a great night. They got a little jewel in the back door. You don't know. But that's what the flair is for on the end of it. All right. So what do you think? I'm going with three days.

Three days. I'm going on that. Three. What did you say? I'm thinking six. Six. Three, six, and 11. Get your answers in at home.

It's probably three weeks. The can was reportedly up his can for 20 days. 20 days. I'm giving it to you. I'm giving it to you on the side comment that he made under his breath three weeks, during which the unfortunate fellow was unable to relieve himself, obviously. That's really dangerous. He was in jeopardy.

That's really dangerous. He was in jeopardy. That's really dangerous. Thankfully, doctors were able to remove the deodorant can during a how long surgery. Okay, how long was the surgery? Real quick. Yeah. We do enough of these dumb other stories on this show. Can this guy get in the Guinness Book of World Records? He should.

I'm guessing nobody else has had a 10-inch deodorant can. I don't think they want to encourage someone to be there. Some of the stuff. You have sounding records. How long was the surgery? Surgery was eight hours. Eight hours? 100%. I say four hours.

Okay, I'm going to go two. Two hours. They had a lot to deal with. One of you is exactly right. So now we get to play the game. Who do you think is right? Are you going to stick on yours? I think it's me.

Four hours. Two hours. They know exactly what they're doing. We're staying put. So now we get to play the game. Who do you think is exaggerating? Are you going to stick on yourself? I think it's me. They know exactly what they're doing. We're staying put. Because I think once you get him sedated, you can really get those muscles to relax. But think of what they had to clean out if he's been impacted for three weeks. A brand new can. Doctors were able to remove the deodorant can

in a two-hour surgery. Dan, you know way too much about this story.ant can in a two-hour surgery. Yeah, Dan! Dan, you know way too much about this story. You're two for two with exact answers. What was the other one? Seven and a half inch can. It was a half inch away. I think the most common. How do you know so much about this?

Guys, we've all held a dildo, I mean a deodorant can. We have. You ready for this? This is what's crazy. The graphic 45-second video shows the team of surgeons slicing open the man's stomach lining to unveil the silver spray can, which they then remove and hold up to the camera like a bowling trophy. Shut up. You made that up.

No, they wrote that in there. They wrote bowling trophy. Like a bowling trophy. Who do you think you are? I am. I can. I can. Where do you think you are?

This can. That's so great. Just answering a question. Unfortunately, the patient did not emerge from the operation unscathed. He reportedly sustained damage to both his esophagus and intestines, latter energy of which would likely require surgery in the future. He will also need to be monitored by medics for the next several, seven days. But does he go out like an addict and stick another thing up there right?

The family said that they – That's his celebration. You know, like the people who OD, they go right in the hospital parking lot and just do it again. David Blaine would call this a trick. Charge money for this. This isn't the first time someone has gotten an unlikely item object stopped in their derriere. Of course. We know this.

We do this every year. Every year. In April, a Brazilian man had to undergo emergency surgery after reportedly shoving a dumbbell up his rear leg during an ill-advised attempt at self-gratification. Wow. You got to get your reps in, man, any way you can. Is that CrossFit? I don't do CrossFit. I don't do CrossFit. It feels like it might be it.

That's a squatting accident. That's a squat. That's a great way to end it. There you go. That's the new version of squat. That's the new version of squatting accident. That's a squat. That's a great little accident. That's the new version of squat. New version of squatting. Oh, my God. Unbelievable. Kyle, thank you so much for coming on and doing the show.

We told you it'd be fast. We told you it'd be fun. It was. I'm totally fine. This guy's not totally fine, but I'm totally fine. It's the movie. I want everyone to go check it out. Go support.

This is how we do it. Let's show the power of our dumb people town. Ouries go out there and support it support this movie go watch it you'll be happy that you did and oh shit we gotta get back to work stick around make a sound on hunker down, it's Dumb People Town