Dumb People Town - Lara Beitz - WitchCraft Services

Episode Date: May 14, 2021

This week Lara Beitz comes to town to hang with Daniel, Jason and Randy to hear about a woman using witchcraft to steal money but not in a fun way.

Starbanes Avenue Couldn't make this up. So listen to our podcast jam with co-host Armand Dan. Man, don't be a jerk. Cause when the music gets the funny hits, we are gonna take you down. Stick around. Make a sound. Punk it down. It's Dumb People Town. Hey, townies.

Welcome to a Friday episode of Dumb People Town. Population U. Population Bites. Laura Bites, how are you? Hi, I'm good. Thank you for having me. Of course. A little Wisconsin zone.

A little Wisconsin. Have you been to the Dells? I have to ask everybody. Of course she's been to the Dells. Oh, my God. Have I been to the Dells? I could talk about the Dells all day. Noah's Ark is the best place on Earth.

Agreed. Oh, my God. But, hey, I've gotten drunk at Family Fun Land and then staggered into Tommy Bartlett's Robot World. Hell yeah, dude. Hell yeah, dude. All right, Jay. Hell yeah, dude.

You got a hell yeah, dude. Jay and I are going to step out of this. If you guys want to talk about whips being sold to nine-year-olds at a flea market. Yeah. No, we're going to spend 20 minutes talking about the house on the rock. Are you kidding me? Oh, my God. Are you kidding me? Oh my God, are you kidding me? The infinity room? Yes.

I like to stand over there. I also like to stand at the beginning, the base of the infinity room, if you will, and watch people walk out there and get sick and have to go back. The house on the rock. That's the comic in you who's like, let me see something bad happen to a dummy. The human

in you is like, hey, I should probably warn these people. The comic is in you is like, shut shut up. We'll see how this happens. Laura and I, we haven't announced it yet, but we actually, I mean, I'll go. I'll say it. October 17th. We are co-headlining Ho-Chunk Casino right outside of

Baraboo, Wisconsin. The after party is going to be at the Ponderosa Steakhouse. I'm in, man. Texas toast. I'm in. Oh my gosh. I used to always try to get my parents to take us to Ponderosa and they wouldn't because it was their opinion that it was gross. I disagree.

Although I might feel differently if I went back now. I took my grandma to the Ponderosa outside the Ho-Chunk Casino three summers ago. I took Rosemary Van Kirk there. They're like dumb magnets that collect these people at those places because we believe the world's getting dumber. I don't know if you think that too. Do you think the world is getting dumber or do you think we're just realizing how dumb we really were to begin with?

I think the world is getting smarter and we have so much more access to information that we're seeing all the stupidity that was there all along. So the light is being shined in a way that we now can see it in a way because it was like dark in that corner and now we see. But I'll also say this. Have dumb people ever felt smarter than at any other time in history? Because there's that side of the coin too. Because they're like, oh, I'll

tell you. I know. I know. I'll tell you. I have a theory. Right. That I know. It's not a theory. It's a thing I know. That I heard. Yeah. I think it goes both ways. That's right. I agree. Well, so what we do on this show

is we, as we told you and as we know for our listeners in case there are any new listeners as we break down dumb stories that get sent to us by our awesome listeners,

easy way to do it is just send it to a tweet at DanielVanKirk hashtag dumb people down. It gives them a timeline to see who sent it. Who sent our story in today, Dan?

Ready? This was sent in by Jake Groney. I love him. At Jake Groney, G-R-O-N-I. This guy sends it a lot. He's great. He's a contributor. We love him.

All right. Here's the headline, friends. Let's hear it. Woman promising witchcraft services steals from victims in Naples. So we're in Florida. We're in Florida. This is where my wife's stepdad lives isn't that dark magic to steal people's money oh that part of it too yeah yeah yeah

have you ever seen have you seen up close magic and how are how do you get affected by up close magic laura um i haven't seen a ton of up close magic because i find magicians repellent i think that the magician is the natural enemy of the comedian yeah one of my amen one of my favorite memories of magic is when um i was in college and we were all getting high and my buddy alexis was banging this magician and he started doing a magic trick at the table and friend, who's like one of my best friends to this day, and this was the kickoff of that, excused herself and vomited audibly. From just the concept of this guy doing a card trick.

See, I'll go to a magic show, and I'm okay with a magician like feathered hair and everything, but in like real day-to-day life. Dan, what about the show that we saw on Hulu? That was the show that was like... In and of itself. In and of itself. Did you see that?

Yes, but that's what I'm about to say. Yeah. Okay. How did he do that? That was like performance art. How did he do that? That shouldn't be called how did he do that. Not in and of itself.

Like at a table, at a party, at a barbecue, at a bar, at a restaurant. I'm okay with a someone in the group or someone being a magician. If it only goes so far as a deck of cards, I'm not Dan. No, I'm saying like if I'm in a public place and somebody's got out of your ear, if somebody's got scarves and like no little red balls kept in their pocket, I think that you don't like a card trick. Nope, nope. This is the craziest telling me you don't like a card trick? Nope. This is the craziest thing I've ever heard anyone say. You don't like a card trick?

Nope. Dan, you just described the most offensive magician scenario that I could imagine, which is a magician bringing props to a social dinner. A cards or props? She's saying cards or a props. What if the cards were there? He said three rubber balls and scarves.

Yes, that's when it's like no, you try. You came to this hang out to do a show and I don't want that. But if you're around, if you're in northern Illinois or lucky enough to be a Wisconsin with us, there's a deck of I carry a deck of cards with me at all time. There's a deck of cards in the cabin and

someone's like you want to see something fun and then do it. You're okay with that. Yeah, Jay, you have a problem with that. I kind of have of cards with me at all times. Right, if there's a deck of cards in the cabin and someone's like, you want to see something fun and then do it, you're okay with that. Jay, you have a problem with that? I kind of have a problem with it. It's almost like you're all hanging out and your buddy is a yoga teacher and he or she on the beach decides to start doing like crazy handstands.

And it's like, good for you, you douchebag. But you don't get anything out of that. You get something out of a badass car trick. I liken it to an acoustic guitar. Like he's busting it out. Do you want to hear a song? Well, no, not really. But you kind of backed me into a corner.

Now I'm a jerk for saying no. Because really the question they're asking you is, do you like music? And you're like, yeah, I do like music. Well, what they're really asking you is, do you want to hear what I learned today? Because if they're at that stage of wanting you to hear their song, they're way too new to the guitar.

Do you want to hear me start and stop 40 times and say, wait? Wait, hold on. Just give me one more. Hang on, hang on. It goes like this. Wait, wait. Hang on, hang on. I'm going to get it.

Do you want to hear me noodle around and attempt to do a song that you used to love? I say used to love. Remember the song, How Much You Love the Song, Melissa? Well, get ready to hate it. Get ready to hate All My Brothers. I'm love? I say used to love. Remember the song, How Much You Love the Song, Melissa? Well, get ready to hate it. Get ready to hate All My Brothers. Get ready to hear my version of Mel. Do you want the conversation

we were all having to end? Would you like the conversation to be over? Because you're now at my performance. You're at a show. It's a bad show. I'm just putting it out there. Jason, if we're ever at a scenario and someone sticks your card

to a goddamn ceiling fan, I want you to just walk away and not say cool. Don't even be impressed. You don't get to like any of it. I don't get to like it. Laura called it what it was. It is social terrorism. They are hijacking the evening and they're like, this is what we're doing

from here on. I don't even know what we're talking about anymore. Let's go back. Ready? Yes. This is a person who promises witchcraft okay you shouldn't have to make promises with your witchcraft you either have it or you don't have no one asked for that yeah naples florida a mysterious woman named rosalia advertised around golden gate and east naples promising to solve relationship problems using quote witchcraft services according to the police. She does she does have a sublime name. I'm not friends with Rosalia

ain't got no even though she's got crystal balls. Can I go on the record? You guys can tell me if I'm wrong, but if you are phone number tab pulling off of an advertisement for somebody to fix relationship problems with witchcraft services. You're the problem in the relationship.

That's right. I agree 100%. And I think if you are at the point in your relationship where you're available to see a witch about it. If you're past counseling or past couples counseling, let's see if a witch can cast a spell on our relationship and the relationship. I don't care if you have a kid together. The kid will be raised in a better environment if you part ways. And also, once you're out of that relationship, self-evaluate you and your role in your own life. Where you're like, I don't know, man.

It's a witch. I'm going to this witch. Your witch is not your role in your own life. Like where you're like, I don't know, man. It's a witch. I'm going to this witch. Your witch is not going to make your problems. Oh, guys, guys, I got to go. I have a witchcraft services meeting. So witchcraft services. You should always be more afraid of a witch than you are of being alone.

Yes. That's how you know you're ready for a relationship. 100%. Times 10. I'm saying witchcraft services feels like something you put on a resume under special skills

like next to like Microsoft Excel. I literally thought you were saying witchcraft services was some form of like new industry standard for having food on set.

Sandwiches. Witchcraft services. It's all sandwiches. W-H-I-C-H space on witchcraft services. Oh, that is good. There you go. And they just make little sandwiches. Tiny finger foods.I-C-H space. Yes. Craft services. Oh, that is good. And they just make little sandwiches. Now, before we all get yelled at, I'm sure there are some of you Stevie

Nicks loving Wiccan witches out there that are doing really good things with crystals and positive energy. Down with it. You are not who we are talking to. No, you're not. We're talking to people that are like hexing people. A shyster, if you will. Yes. Like a death eater. Yes. A Voldemort fan. shyster. Yes, you will. Yes, like a death eater. Yes, Voldemort fan. Thank you. Okay, here

we go. So she promises witchcraft services around Golden Gate News, Naples. Instead, she reportedly swindled money from at least ten victims using not magic, but an elaborate and disturbing scheme. The Naples Police Department reported the first victim

called police on March 14th. He told detectives he encountered a flyer for Rosalia services at a 24 hour laundry map. Yep on Golden Gate Parkway, right already, right? If you're doing your laundry out, it's 2 a.m. and you're waiting for a spin cycle to end

right. It's not gonna. That's not a good time to like try to show. I'm gonna find the answer. This is your Jeff Foxworthy. If you've ever found a witch at a laundromat, you might be in a bad relationship. It's so true. I feel like that's kind of what a witch is supposed to do. That's part of the witchcraft is it's the person charms you

into giving them your money and then once you do, they're like abracadabra Ben, you got to have your money now. That's the spell. Surprise. I'm a witch. I never said I was a wizard. I love that he encountered a flyer. You pull the phone number tab. He encountered a flyer for Rosalia

Services at a 24-hour laundromat on Golden Gate Parkway. The flyers had a one hundred percent guarantee. I don't talk. I don't care if you're talking about which or a mechanic. I'm already out. I'm like I'm out do that. There's no such thing. There's no such thing promising results, such as if you're having an argument with your wife or girlfriend, Rosalia can help you with your problems and this is the debt. What's her number? Police said Rosalia advertised her quote spiritual services in many forms,

including a free, including. Oh, she advertised in many forms, including free Hispanic newspapers on the radio and by posting flyers in laundry mats and on stores in the area. Radio ads, radio ads. I know. Hey, it's 12 past the hour. Before we go into this next, but we got Laura Bites.

She's in town. She's going to be doing one show tonight. Two shows Friday. That late Saturday show is already sold out. But first, we're going to talk to you about our sponsor for this for this segment. We're going to take you home with that traffic report. Before we do, we're going to tell you about Rosalia.

Witchcraft services. Now, Ski Bo. Ski Bo, you tried these out, right? Oh, yeah. I tried all of them out. Yeah, he loves a good witch. I love a good witch. I would listen to this radio show. I know. This is like the rat race. The rat race. I highly recommend if you haven't heard this in a while.

I've been telling people, too, for years. The rat race. 97.9. Ben Roy's podcast about a fake morning show is the funniest. We did one. If you want to start with ours, do that. What were you guys? We played each other. Oh, hell yeah.

We were coming in to do nine nights at the comedy club over a week's time. And they wanted to do a DNA test on us to see what our heritage was. And it goes horribly wrong and it's so funny and beth hoyt is so good and it's just please listen to it anyway all right anyway so yes he made this is our guy in the laundromat he made the fateful call spoke with the would be which would be which would be would be which is like could have been the sequel to be which yes, you're right, would be which would be which he spoke to her on the phone and scheduled an appointment to see her at her quote

office. That's in quotes, because I'm sure it probably isn't. Yeah, it's like it's an office as much as the bathroom and Arnold's. They do say it's located at nine hundred six Avenue s. If she's paying for radio ads, she's got office space. It's what I'm saying. It's 201. She should have an assistant. Victims described Rosalia as a 5'2 woman with a medium build, blonde hair, and dark roots, and light brown eyes. Why'd you got to do her roots like that?

Come on. Why do we got to go after her roots? 5'2, 145 pounds, strong hair, blonde and pale. She spoke Spanish with an unknown accent, which might be my favorite part of this whole story. Did she make up an accent? Nope. Not with a Spanish accent. She did it with a Wisconsin accent. That was what was so weird. That would be great.

I like the light brown eyes. I'm still trying to picture that. That would be pretty. But I think I've only seen those on cats before. Light brown eyes. Are you doing Spanish in a Wisconsin accent? What are you guys doing for Cinco de Maya?

Uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, seis. Cien de nueve. Como estas? Hola, el Fortuna Ace. And then more Spanish. I love it. Okay, I'm going to show you guys a photo of... I assume it's a police rendering,

but it looks like... It's a police rendering? It looks like a C-plus high school art student's drawing. Okay, can we... Maybe this is on the new flyer. I can't wait. Oh, Jesus. Look at Rosalia.

There are those beautiful light brown eyes. No eyelashes. Not an eyelash in sight. How do we know this isn't a new like Brie Larson character? What would you give this grade at a high school art class? I'm thinking like a C plus. I mean, this is like a shading class. Right.

This is a shading class. If you want to see this thing, join our Facebook page. Do me a favor when you go to look at this, and my friends here with us right now do it. Look at just the left eye, then look at just the right eye, and you'll start to see a big fall off in this artistry. Well, we don't know, but what if that's what she really looks like? It could be.

In fairness, my two eyes don't look like they've ever been in the same room together. My two eyes look nothing alike. Fair enough. That is really funny. Your eyes are not the Sklar brothers of eyes? Is that what you're trying to say? No. If either half of my face looked like the other half, I would be married.

I'd be famous. Stop. That's what's holding you back? They look nothing alike. I can't believe it. Stop. Whatever. That's not true.

I refuse to hear that. First of all, you're going to be famous. You're going to be married. When all those things happen, come back and tell us about your eyes. All those things can come back and tell us exactly well she'll get an eye job you'll get an eye job okay so he goes to her office right uh-huh tarot cards in tow rosalia told the victim she saw something quote dark in his life during their first conversation oh my god the witch he just bought at the laundromat yeah yeah exactly i. I see something dark. If you're doing your laundry at the laundromat and not within your friend or relationship's house, then there's something dark. Something dark's going on.

To fix the darkness. A load of darks. You just spent the rest of your quarters on a witch. Yeah, right? Jay was like, I see something dark in your future. A load of darks. A load of darks. A load of darks that you can no longer dry.

Right. Because you purchased a witch. A witch. Can your witch air dry them? To fix the darkness, she told the man to sleep with three eggs under his bed. Oh, my God. I thought you might have sex with three eggs. I was like, sleep with three what's?

And you're like, eggs. I'm like, I'm trying to picture that. In all fairness, when you earlier in this podcast said that your friend was banging a magician, I thought she was doing it at the table that you guys were hanging out at. And as he's banging her on the table, he was like, you guys want to see a trick? And we're like, I think

we're already seeing it. I'm watching a trick. Watch it. I'm making something disappear inside your friend. Is this your orgasm? Nope. still haven't found it. She told the man to sleep with three eggs under his bed and then bring him bring them

to her the next day. The man brought the phony prophetess her eggs and she proceeded to wave them over his head and face. The report states then she opened each egg. The report states then she opened each egg. The first egg was filled with

do you want to guess? Yes, confetti. Okay. Caramel. No. What do you think, Laura? Did she provide the eggs? Yes, she provided them. So she already pre did it. Pre stuffed Jason's way on this girl's angle.

I mean, dare. I guess that it was filled with just what a regular egg is filled with. So like a first egg was filled with blood. Oh, I was going to say blood. Dan, I was going to say egg was filled with semen, semen, semenmen applesauce needles the third egg was filled with anybody a tiny bird worms oh my god this woman come on all right so so can we all like i thought she was just like a fraud now she pulls this out, the three egg trick. Jason called it.

She provided the eggs. I know, but I'm just saying. Yeah, where do you get an egg of blood though? That's a trick. Number one. You get a little prick in it. You get a little thing and then you insert it in there. But how do you get the worms in? Like a jelly donut.

How do you get the worms in? The man brought her the eggs. She opens them up after waving them around her head. Blood needles works. I would watch, by the way, if you said there is a YouTube channel of people's reactions to the opening of these eggs.

That's where she should make her money. That's legit. I feel like that alone is worth whatever he paid her for her to present those. Services are rendered. This is another revenue stream for the witch. She should not call herself a witch.

She should call herself like an egg revealer. Yes. And there's unboxers. This is an un-egging. Which one would you least want to accidentally break on your way to show them to the witch the next day. The blood all the way. The needles are crazy because if a needle if you open up an egg and a needle

like just even just makes you tiny Go get your shots. Get the vaccine again. I have AIDS now. You're like I have everything. I think if the egg broke and worms poured out of it I would never stop throwing up and I would be a different person for the rest of my life. Imagine stealing the rest

of your life every time you open that egg. Every time you saw an egg. Oh my God. I'm never ordering an omelet again. I'll tell you that. No, you aren't. Not even a soft scramble. What do witches say? You gotta kill a few worms to make an omelet. There you go. But that wasn't enough to remove the quote, darkness from his life

according to Rosalia, two more payments, two more payments. He told the man to bring her all the money he had and to borrow money from friends is where the scratch is. Yeah, borrow money from friends and family, so she could bless it and multiply. Now,

remember he's there because he's going through a breakup, right? But now she's like, just bring all your money and then I'm going to bless it and I'll multiply it. I'm going to bless. Did you see the eggs? Bring me the money on just bring all your money and then I'm going to bless it and I'll multiply it. I'm gonna bless you see the eggs. Bring me the money on his bring me the money on his third visit. The man

brought her money for her to bless the report states, but when she saw a darkness in the money, she told him she had to take it to her temple in Fort Myers, where all temples are, you know, the witch right next to the Fort Myers airport guys to clean and return to him the next day at eight a.m. So I'm going to take this to my temple. This one was like a dry cleaner to launder. You get this at eight a.m.

Tomorrow. However, the next day, Rosalia canceled their appointment over and then stopped responding to his messages altogether. Yeah, the man told police he had no idea she was going to steal his money, which I totally believe he had no idea. That doesn't mean he's not dumb. No, but there's no way he thought. Like you see an egg full of needles and you're like, I'm all in.

How much money did the man from the laundromat going through a bad relationship manage to bring to her? To be blessed. Laurel, you're a guest. You may go first. You can go in between me and Jason or you can go third managed to bring to her. To be blessed. Laura, you're our guest. You may go first. You can go in between me and Jason or you can go third if you want to guess. It's up to you where you want to guess.

$8,000. Okay, $8,000. That is, so I'm going to posit this because there's like an old Jewish story like about a guy who lives with like his five kids in like this tiny house and his wife. And he's like, the house is too crowded and I can't deal with this.

And we can't, we're on top of each other. And he comes to a rabbi. And of course the rabbi is like, do you have a cow? He's like, yes, I have a cow. Bring it into the house for a night and then come talk to me. Okay, fine. He brings the cow into the house.

And he's like, that made it worse. Like, what are you doing? Bring these two chickens in the house. It made it worse the next day. This goat, bring it in the house. And then after a week, he's like, now take it away and take all the animals out. And he took all the animals out of the house. And then he's like, yeah, okay, the house feels way bigger right now.

And so, thank you. You solved the problem. Maybe this woman is like, I'm going gonna show you a relationship that is so bad your relationship with me that you go back to this one right you think you had trust issues with her what she's not stealing your money you take your money away gaslighting isn't so bad check out this egg full of blood she just called you stupid at a dinner party in front of your friends so what she hates your mom. So what's not an egg full of worms? So

what she doesn't show up to things. All right, so you said eight thousand dollars. I'm going to say three thousand dollars. I think it's like thirteen grand thirteen. Yeah, that's a lot of money. It's like everything they've got. Okay, we're gonna take a quick little break. When we come back, we're going to talk to Lawrence. See what she's been up to. We'll let

you know some stuff we got going on and we will reveal how much money the man from the laundromat brought the witch. Oh boy. Stick around. Make a sound. There's more Don't People Town. Hey guys, welcome back to the show. We got Laura Bites on the pod.

Please let people know how they can follow you, anything they can purchase that you have done, or how they can see you soon. Yeah, you can follow me at Laura Bites on Instagram, L-A-R-A-B-E-I-T-Z, and there is a link in my bio to all my touring dates. Nice. and there is a link in my bio to all my touring dates. Nice. June 4th through 6th, I'm going to be headlining the Comedy Store in La Jolla, California.

Great. August 5th through 8th, I'm going to be headlining the House of Comedy in Phoenix, Arizona. August 12th through 14th, I'm going to be headlining Mark Ridley's Comedy Castle in Royal Oak, Michigan. October, I'm going to be in Vancouver. Yes. November, I'm going to be inlining Mark Ridley's Comedy Castle in Royal Oak, Michigan. October, I'm going to be in Vancouver. Yes. November, I'm going to be in Edmonton, Alberta.

And December, I'm going to be in Bloomington, Minnesota. Those links for tickets are all in my Instagram bio. You guys go see her perform. We have seen her perform at so many different types of venues. At Largo, which is just one of the best stages in the city and an alt stage kind of like not really a comedy club mixed with comedy clubs she kills every time it is so fun unique and interesting and just a great i remember we met 2019 at the comedy star line you just crushed yeah thank you so much you guys so fun if you

and if you want to see her set on, she was the first comic that ever performed on Spade Show, on Lights Out. Am I right? Like he saw you and was like, I want to put you on the show. Your set on that was so funny and so refreshingly dope. Thank you so much. The link to that set's under that same link in my bio.

It's in my link tree. Watch it. It's really great. It's really, really great. And for fans of this show, guys, we're doing the live Dope People Town with the Dope Boys podcast. If you know that podcast, they do a hilarious podcast about chain restaurants, and they're so funny, Mitch and Nick. They're going to crush it.

It's going to be really, really fun. It's called Dope People Town. We're going to do a fried chicken sandwich challenge. We are going to settle once and for all what is the best fried chicken sandwich. Is it Popeye's? Is it the homophobic Chick-fil-A? Is it Kentucky Fried Chicken? We might even throw McDonald's in there. We're going to decide it on the show with them.

And then, of course, Chris Thiele from Nickel Creek is going to be playing music. Get your tickets at danielvankirk.com. That's next Saturday night. That's next Saturday, the 22nd, or at nowherecomedyclub.com. Let's fill that room. Come on, guys. I want you you guys to check this out it's going to be such a blast we got a greenlee too and uh for any future stuff you want to do with dan hang out go to danielvancurk.com and just play bingo with him hey raise money for no kill animal shelters all good stuff and all good stuff he is the best and he is so much fun to hang with so beyond all of

that all right so when we left we had a guy at a laundromat bad relationship at a laundromat three times got some weird ass eggs she took his money to clean it and then she really ghosted him they just blew him out what a great place for the plug break i am dying to know what right right hold you over i'm at the edge of my seat. So when we left, so Lars said that he brought $8,000. I said $13,000 and Jay said $3,000 to this woman to clean.

She cleaned it. The total amount of money that was brought by the laundromat man to the witch, Rosalia, is $29,500. Oh my God! That's so much.

$29,500. Oh man, and he's using a laundromat. So you know that that was hard to come up with. Oh my God. That's everything he's got. That's everything he's got. Called in favor. She witched him out of that money.

Police met three other people outside Rosalia's suite, all who said they were expecting their clean money returned to them at 8 a.m so she learned an egg trick and took that to the bank all new heights what if she just texted to get me to produce 29 000 of my money and other people's money you would have to pull off one of my fingernails and possibly cut off a finger and tell me that you were going to do worse than that to me the next day if I didn't come up with that money.

$29,000. What if she just texted everyone back right now and just said, still cleaning? Money's clean. Still cleaning. Hey, witches be cleaning. Witches be cleaning. Witches be cleaning, y'all. I mean come on. The other victims were able to provide police with more information,

including her phone number, screenshots of text messages and her office address located as another one twenty seven forty oak Ridge Court Unit three three add that to the dumb people town walking to her go hang out with a witch, which is get snitches on which is good stitches, which is get stitches from stitches. All right, an officer tracked down the office as though the office were on the run. Yeah, I went to the office. Let's not give yourself credit

for the address. I just called the office. I just put it in Google Maps, which he found had been rented for two months to insert this guy, Bruno Sosa, Bruno Sosa sells religious artifacts. I don't know. We're not even going down this lower Indiana Jones. I'm going to guess that some of the this is this is like that Mormon documentary. You know, this is like just keep feeling back.

Did you watch that? He is a real life Humpty Dumpty and he talks like Paul Bearer and the Undertaker from WWF. How does he say it? What does he say? He's like, I don't want to say that he was the best

to ever do what he did. I can't do it. He's my hero. No one will ever. He is the Michael Jordan, the Ryan Sandberg of a forgery and the Brett Favre before. So he said Michael Jordan and and then another player who was good, but in the Hall of Fame is in the Hall of Fame, but I wouldn't

put him in the same breath as Michael George. I wouldn't put anybody okay, an officer track down the office. Thank God. That's where they find Bruno Sosa. S O Z A. It was really it was like a Bruno Sosa moment. He saw the pictures of the artifacts.

Yeah. He sells religious artifacts. The building's owner told police he had never met Rosalia, but she was there more often than Bruno. So Bruno has a space, but Rosalia is there. The building owner doesn't care as long as he gets his rent check. So far, victims have come forward with a total combined loss. You have ten victims for a total combined loss of how much money?

Okay, how much money do you guys think out of 10 victims? She was able to get from people. So we don't know. She already knows she got 29, 29, five. It's going to be right. So how from the laundry mat man, Laura, how much do you think she gained from everybody? This is the moment in our show where you go,

I went into the wrong business being a comedian. Right? I am going to guess $250,000, quarter of a million dollars. Okay. Jason's going. $175,000. Okay. $303,000.

Okay. Okay. The media ads were were published in december leading to the scam that began in mid january ending in mid march, so she got a what three month run out of this month run my heart is patina is a so searching for rosalia still have not found her. They say here like magic. She seems to disappear anyone with information or anyone who can identify rosy. Remember they only have a high school sketch drawing of her. That's right. Anyone who's eaten an egg, so maybe we put the dumb people townies on this call the Naples

Police Department at two three nine two one three four eight four four. I may call it anyway, because as of today, just check like all the like amazing, like eighty thousand000 Mercedes with like. Why not? That just got purchased. That just got purchased with license plates that say Bewitching. Cash and cash. How many numbers did you just say in that phone number?

Did you say 23? 4, 8, 4, 4. There you go. That's it. He did the. 239, 213. 239 is the area code. 4, 4.

Okay. Okay. All right, cool. How much money? Three months from 10 people. That's it. He did the... 239-213-4844. Okay. In three months, from 10 people, she's scanned $100,000. Wow. Still a lot. Pretty good take. In three months. That's an amazing haul.

Damn. That's a living. Money's in witching. We're doing the wrong thing. We're doing the wrong thing. Let's be witches, you guys. Shall we be witches? But it's high risk, high reward.

I guess you could go to jail. Sure. Although, couldn't you just be like, I don't know. I dug a hole. I put the money in it. And then the next day, the money was gone. I mean, can't you just say some witch excuse? They might have borrowed all that money from people.

But now they're saying, they never gave it to me. You should talk to them. That's even i like that one yeah yeah i never saw all right that's our story if you are a patreon member you are going to be happy to hear that laura's gonna tell us a little dumb fun embarrassing whatever fun story from her own life but that'll be on the patreon otherwise oh shit we gotta get back to work Dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum,