Dumb People Town - Megan Gailey - Man In The Boxed Car

Episode Date: January 22, 2021

This week Megan Gailey comes to town to hang with Daniel, Jason and Randy to hear about a man buried by snow.

Skypains Avenue Couldn't make this up. So listen to our podcast jam with co-host Armand Dan. Man, don't be a jerk. Cause when the music gets the funny hits, we are gonna take you down. Stick around. Make a sound. Hungry Down is Dumb People Town. Hey, townies. Welcome to a Friday episode of Dumb People Town.

Population you. Population Gailey. Megan Gailey. gailey megan gailey welcome to the show i love when you guys turn it on i just love it i love it i mean i don't mean turn it on but just fire up to see to see you work i love fire up the machine look we just wanted to have an episode full of people who have crushed it on the n network. That's all we're going for. Wow. Crushed it and then crushed it so hard. They said, be on your way. They're like,

you gave us everything you had and we appreciate it. Cause if the NFL is known for one thing, it's about valuing people after they've given you everything they can. It's about moving on. It's about moving on. It's about not respecting Colin Kaepernick, which none of us did. I'm just kidding.

It is so good. First of all, you are one of our favorite people to talk sports with because you are so deeply entrenched in the world and can hang and go toe-to-toe with anybody.

And you also rep a fan base that like, you're the only friend of ours who's like a huge Indiana Pacers fan. So that's always a joy. So it always feels like, it feels like an indulgence to be able to just go

talk to you. What's the 30 for 30? Is it Reggie in the garden? Winning time. Winning time. Did you honestly ask her? She knew that. Like, right.

She knew. That's why I was asking. Cause I couldn't remember the title of it. And I know your listeners can't see this, but this is Boomer with hugging a heart with my name on it. Love it. It's just on my desk, you know, just here with me.

But you do. What I love about it is that you do have a real, to be a great sports fan. I feel like you have to have such an eye for the specific and to be able to point out in the world of sports, the bullshit of the, of the world. And you do this so well in your standup comedy as well.

You're fantastic standup for those who have not seen her do what she does, we have seen you many times crush shit at the store. I can remember belly room just slaying. But also up stairs for a TV taping at Montreal watching you tape a TV set

on a show that we were also on that you were fantastic. John Doerr's show. That was the last Montreal. I know, the last one that we were also on that you were fantastic. John door show. Yeah. So good. So that was a really, that was the last Montreal. I know. That's one that we could do. Really? Well,

it's just, I'm so happy you're here. You hate dumb behavior. And so do we. Let's get into a story. Shall we do it? Yes. This was sent in by Derek L man's at game design,

dude, you the man's. And what, but what does he do for a living? Just kidding. He's like, I don't know. man an upstate new york man spent hours trapped in his car after a snow plow buried his vehicle under four feet of snow what was he doing in there in the first place it's an arcade well this is my parents are from right outside of Niagara Falls.

And this happens. Like my mom said she could walk out her second story bedroom. On to a snowbank. Yes. Yes. Just walk right out. And OJ Simpson was there waiting for her. Jesus Christ. No, trying to date her.

He said, Peggy, what's up? So this is real. No, this is very real. So real. It's legendary in Rochelle that the winter storm of 78, 79, which was like epic, when they would plow the streets after like a week of nonstop snow, it was essentially like driving down tunnels

because the snow was piled up to almost as high as the telephone. That's right. So my mom was like, you would pull out driveways and just be driving down tunnels of snow. Snow tubes. It is so funny. The fact that you grew up there. Did you grow up there? Or no?

No, my parents. My parents grew up in Niagara Falls. Do you have relatives? Did you go there and visit them? Oh, yes. They're the only ones that left. So we went a lot. So you go there and it's like june and you're in niagara falls or you're wherever you're up that area and like you go to i don't know like

a safeway parking lot or some like some grand iga and in the corner of the parking lot there's like a tiny snowbank in june that like never melted rochelle too and it's just black and it's like a tiny snowbank in June that like never melted. That's in Rochelle too. And it's just black. And it's like in the shape of George Washington's head. And you're like, what is that? Literally, as kids, we would, because those in, like this time of year right now, those snow mountains are enormous. Huge.

And all you're doing is like playing King of the Hill, knocking each other off of them, and you're either sledding or falling down into a road. Because it's always in the corner of the parking lot right next to an intersection. Very dangerous. Very dangerous. I feel go ahead. Good.

We had our parking lot. We would like go into like the giant trash receptacle like the sledding hill went, but not the hill. The man made mountain went directly into that and these kids would just be plowing into dumpsters and we would also like it was a big deal in high school to go during like the like like a slight like a sleet with freeze or

like a little bit of snow and we would just go to empty parking lots and do donuts yes every yes every year somebody would forget about the part of the parking lot that had like the little bumper like for your wheels to stop or somebody would hit a pole one year. This ties into the story. We all went to Kyle Kissick's house and his dad worked for Rochelle Municipal Utilities who had all these card heart suits, right? And we all put them on and then we walked like two blocks over to Sarah

Harper's house and Tamara Sanders was parked outside of Sarah Harper's house heart suits right and we all put them on and then we walked like two blocks over to sarah harper's house and tamra sanders was parked outside of sarah harper's house and she had a little blue daytona sanders it took us three hours we made her entire car a block of snow and ice it's hilarious and you you it was there was no way there was no way it had to sit there for like two weeks but i feel like because of our phones people are spending an inordinate amount of time still in their car after they've arrived somewhere. This guy particularly, yes. Right?

Don't you feel like that's- I don't do that. You never pull into your parking spot or your home and then it's 10 more minutes of you on the phone. See, I think like LA has made me be like, I'm getting the fuck out of this car. You know? I mean, obviously not pandemic now.

In New York, I would go in my car and cry. It had a purpose for me there. But in LA, I'm like, let me out, please. Yeah, because you've been in a car. Because you had to go from the west side to the east side at 4 p.m. All right, Dan, get us into this. Okay, all right.

So he spent hours trapped in his car after a snowplow buried his vehicle. That's the other thing, too. What was he trapped in his car after a snow plow buried his vehicle that's everything to like what was he doing because you know a snow plow is coming that scrape of like the the sled on cement yeah police received several nine one one calls thursday about a driver who went off the road along state route seventeen c and needed help have any of you put a car in a ditch needed help. Have any of you ever put a car in a ditch? No. Have you, Megan, do you ever put a car

in a ditch? Oh, yeah. It's a rite of passage in Indiana, Michigan. How surprised you guys ever did it in college? Yeah, we did. I've never put a car in a ditch. Oh, yeah, we did. We did put it because we spun out on a very slick thing in it on. We

were in Ohio. We were driving Ohio. We spun out on a very slick road and it were in Ohio. We were driving to Ohio. We spun out on a very slick road, and it landed in the ditch right next to the thing. I mean, I've rolled a car, but I've never in snow put a car into a ditch. But in Rochelle, that's how you know how bad it is. People will tell you, like, oh, just came back on 38. There's like six cars in the ditch. Do not go out there today. And it's just everybody.

But you've done that Megan. Oh yeah. I mean the highway between Indianapolis and Purdue, it goes up to Chicago too is 65 and 65 is a disaster. I mean, they close it all the time. You're in a ditch. The last time I drove in snow, I went in a ditch in my mom's car and just like trying to get onto the

highway and just looked behind me. No one was coming. So I just backed up out of the ditch back. Cause the crazy thing is so many times when you go into a ditch, it's the slowest tragic thing happening. Cause you've already slowed down cause you felt it. And then you just slowly like, well, we're going into the ditch. By the way, you could say that emotionally. That's the way most people feel like when they're in Indiana, they're going into a ditch. There we go. There we go. And we're in the ditch. By the way, you could say that emotionally

that's the way most people feel like when they're in Indiana. They're going into a ditch. Or New York crying in their car. Stop. Easy.

I've been there. Needed help in an Owego in the town in western New York just a few miles from the Pennsylvania border. However, despite several attempts

to find the car, no one could locate it. Oh my God. Sergeant Jason Cawley of New York State Police learned about the calls and went on the hunt for the wayward vehicle. They can't locate my iPhone.

He can't tell them where he is. In his phone, just say... But no, they've only gotten calls from people who saw the car. So he doesn't have a phone. I don't know. Maybe he's not getting service. Oh boy. As he was driving, that's the cop, he spotted several mailboxes

sticking out of the snow piled along the side of the road. He dug through the snow to check the addresses to see where he was and suddenly uncovered a window. Oh, an eyeball sticking out.

Yeah, isn't this the plot of misery? Yes, it is. I also picture that scene in weird science where they pick up the glass and he's under the no that's in sixteen candles candles. That's what it was. Yeah, like he picks up the clear off the beer cans and then you just see like Bryce's

eye and he's like, yeah, so he see he go. He pushes over the person finds the window right Anthony wasn't price. It was Anthony Michael. It was Anthony Michael on the other side of the glass was Kevin Crescent, and he had been calling nine one one from in sure Kevin Crescent isn't also friends with Tam. Whoever you talk about your friend, no use. you well there was nate kesson but nate kesson did not help us michael kissick my well kyle kissick and his dad jeff

these guys that's who we got the stuff from this guy sounds like he's did not help these are just western new york names like this is what every yes everybody's name is uh kevin cresson had been calling 9-1-1 from inside the buried automobile for how many hours? You got to drive by the Crescent's and drop off a Christmas cookie pack. That's right. You got to do it. Megan, how long had he been calling? Four hours.

Four hours. Okay. That's a long time, Jay. This is how many hours you think he had been calling for 911? I think he was calling for eight hours. Eight hours. Eight hours. 11 hours.

11 hours. 11 hours. Yep. Okay. He freaked out. We're going to take a break. Okay. We're going to come back. We're going to find out what Megan's up to,

and we'll find out how many hours Kevin Cresson was trying to get someone to get him out of this goddamn car. Kevin Cresson be stressing, y'all. We'll be right back. Stick around. Make a sound. There's more Dumb People Town. Hey, guys. Welcome back to the show.

We should mention to everybody that we announced who our next live Dumb People Town guest is going to be on Saturday, January 27th. February 27th. Excuse me, February 27th. Nowhere Comedy Club. We've got Jack Black and Open Mike Eagle. It is going to be amazing

live down Peopletown it's as fun this is what I love about this show this show is fun in every different iteration that we do it in the live ones on Zoom

are amazing get your tickets to vanbrite.com and they're COVID friendly you'll be safe order in some food like a night out minimum or maximum

that's right it's just a blast so we've got all that and then Daniel you can mention to your fans. Oh yeah. Go to danielvancurk.com if you want to hang out

with for a live pen pals with me and Rory as well as play bingo where we raise money. If you win bingo in the final round, not only do you actually win money, but the same amount of money

goes to a no kill animal shelter or a big brothers, big sisters or a food bank in your area. Comics come on and call numbers with me and it's just a lot of fun super fun danielvancurk.com check it out megan what is going on with you kiddo you

always doing such great stuff are you writing on anything right now what are you working on i am writing on a forthcoming hbo show nice um it doesn't even have a name yet so that's how like i'm assuming it's a documentary kidding it's a comedy comedy. It's a, yeah, it's a, um, it's going to be a late night comedy. Um, and then my husband and I host a podcast together called the greatest and we write down our greatest, um, choices in many, many different sports categories. Most recently we did greatest European NBA players. Oh my God. They're both on the Mavericks right now.

Yeah. And then I have a forthcoming, I don't even know if I can say this, but I'm going to say it. I have a forthcoming podcast with the lifetime network where I, my Naomi and I are watching lifetime movies for theetime Network and then breaking them down for listeners. Oh, my God. I love her and you guys together. I don't know if you guys are taking guests, but if you ever do, I will sign my grandmother, Rosemary Van Kirk up. She is 90 years old, and she will give you any hot take you want on any Lifetime movie.

Listen, I want her, so we're going to get her. We are lucky enough to where every episode we interview either an actor from the film we just watched, a director, or the writer of the film. So you're going to have Meredith Baxter-Bernie on 11 times. That's unbelievable.

This is such a good idea. It's so good. The next thing you have to do is do it for Hallmark movie, Hallmark Christmas movies. But it was just really fun when like the contracts were going on. I mean, you guys, sometimes these podcast contracts,

it's the Wild West. So, and so like they were going back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And then they finally were just like, okay, they can't do a podcast for the Hallmark channel. And we were like, we're not going to do that.

It would be insane. No, but you don't know because those goddamn christmas what episode are you guys gonna talk about mother may i sleep with murder i need what do i say with murder you need burning bed i want all of it staircase whatever the one i just watched the other night was pool boy nightmare how could those three words exist in the same phrase? I watched one with my grandma once. I do not know the name. All I know is this

guy's daughter died and he like owned the apartment building. And so this other girl moved into an apartment and then he like hid cameras around her and then like became obsessed with her. And then he broke her and her boyfriend up and then he tried to kill her best friend

when does Liam Neeson kick his ass Rosemary and I were riveted to this there is by the way I was on his side when the daughter died oh okay great there is a new Liam Neeson movie out where he's basically doing Taken yeah he's doing

he picks up a kid it's called Coyote it's the same damn movie i can't believe it it's happening you should do that i'm excited about all that stuff that you have going on and let's get back to this okay how many hours did kevin cresson call 9-1-1 for help to recap before he was just found by happens he was found because other people saw him go in the day and then the cop just wanted to know what address he was out in front of. So Megan said four hours, Jay said eight, and I said eleven. Okay. He was

in that car. Four. Ten hours. Oh! Oh, jeez! Ten hours, dude. I just sensed that it was a long time. Ten hours. That's a long time. That's a nightmare.

What was the movie? We're not talking about nine. We're talking about 28 hours. Are you getting our blast? Are you getting our blast? 27 hours. I think of 28 days later.

Remember when that guy sawed his arm off? I would watch a movie 27 hours, 28 days later. I would watch that movie. Tried to saw his arm off just to get out of quiet rivers. Wow. And honestly, this takes a cop in upstate New York. You put an LAPD in the same situation, they're not going to understand snow drifts.

Right, 100%. 10 hours is kind of the minimum of what it was going to take because this is the guy who's going to find february 2011 i was in chicago and they had this storm that's been nicknamed thunderstorm thunder i was there i lived you were there too okay i lived there so you remember this so what happened was at around 3 30 p.m it started snowing and then it poured snow i'm talking mattresses sizes. Yeah it for the next two and a half three hours. So during rush hour on Lake Shore Drive at Belmont, which is one of the outlets off Lake Shore Drive, but this is key where

I live. Yes, a bus jackknifed and closed off all but one lane, then a car eventually trying to get in that one lane broke down when you back up south of Belmont. The what you are now in between is Belmont Harbor on your west side and on your east side is like Michigan. So thousands of cars got stuck with nowhere to go. They couldn't. If you were a different part of Lake Michigan, you just get out and start or a lake shore drive. You get out, just start walking into your neighborhood. These people, they had to go rescue them because there was nowhere for them to go. Oh my God. And they

would walk a mile back or forth, which they, a lot of people didn't have like it was, it was insane. I walked I walked up Irving Park on the next morning. I was the only, it shut down the whole city for like three days. Yeah, I went to the jewels on Southport, got myself from Kraft macaroni and cheese spirals and tombstone

pizzas. I loaded up. You were there for that too? Yeah, I was there for that. I knew it was going to be bad. So I left my apartment, went to my other friend's apartment, Lisa Traeger. I went to Lisa's house so we could annoy everyone she lived with. We watched Human Centipede. And our friends were having a party the night that it started. So we were walking out and a car pulls up and it was a state of emergency.

You could not be driving. And guys roll down the window. They're like, do you want a ride? And we're like, okay. So we get in. They're driving. They're passing a handle of Jim Beam back and forth in the front seat. And the guy driving goes, don't worry.

He's a cop. And the guy who's a cop goes and don't worry he's a judge and then they took us where we were going oh my god that reminds me of the time i was on lawrence and lawrence and broadway and i and ronnie woo woo just got into my car and i drove ronnie woo woo from lawrence and broadway like all the way down to town. Explain who Ronnie Woo Woo is. Ronnie Woo Woo is a person who wears a Cubs uniform everywhere he goes. He's like a mascot. He's the unofficial human mascot of the Chicago Cubs.

And he just yells Woo all the time. And I think I must have like waved or something when I saw him. He just came and got in my car. I mean, you learn pretty fast with Ronnie. You don't look. I've been places before. We're like, can we get Ronnie out of here? You and Ron Santo.

Get him out of here. Okay, here we go. The candor man suffered from hypothermia. Yeah, the candor man can or he can't. He can't suffer from hypothermia and frostbite due to the freezing temperatures. His vehicle had no heat because of a broken belt. Now look, I don't want to. That's what I'm going to say.

It's the winter time. Fix that belt. You don't go out. Don't go out with that belt fixed. It's a pandemic. Maybe he didn't have the money. He needed that to grant. I totally.

I totally identify. I once had a time in my life where I had a car with no heat and I had a space heater hooked up inside my car that I would drive around with a fire waiting that I I had no I had no money. I had nothing I get it and I was driving in the winter. He was taken to Lord's Hospital and treated for his conditions. The region around a we go was pummeled with snow to in Tuesday storm, receiving about forty inches of snow.

Wow. Yeah. Dan, Dan, it is January right now. It is 80 degrees where we are right now outside. That's unhealthy. Like, it's not normal. It's not healthy. But aren't you glad for like one second that we're not like battling through craziness?

Oh, my God. I mean, we don't. Within a second. Oh, yeah, a second. Because you lived in Chicago. No, there's a moment. My kids want to go sledding so badly. Take them to the big fair.

Once. I want to go sledding, too. But we can go in and then come out. You know? Yeah. Every time it rains here, I think about what it's going to be like in two or three days

by the time it gets to Illinois. All right. We'll get out of here on this. How old do you think the man in the car? Do you think this guy in the car is? Chris Cresson. I need him to not be old. If he's, no, yeah, Chris Cresson.

This feels like 29. Kevin Cresson. Kevin Cresson. Kevin Cresson. Jay, how old is he? 38. 38 years old? I said 29.

I think he's 23. I think he's young and he's like, I don't need to fix this belt. Like I'm fine. Nothing's going to happen to me. Kevin Crescent, the man in the box car is 10 hours. 10 hours. Hypothermia.

Driving with a broken belt. Did not have heater when the day started. Did not have heat in his body by the time the day was over. Found by luck is 58 years old. To me, he's right in the crease. To me, he's right in the crease, Megan. He's right in the crease where you're like, you're young enough.

Danny's made a lot of bad decisions. Yeah, he's angry. He's angry. Wow. He got a case of Labatt Blue with him. I hope so. Yeah, something better have a cooler in there. Yeah, him? Oh, I hope so. Yeah. Something. Better have a cooler in there.

Yeah, and probably like a child support check. There you go, that he didn't pay. And that's it. That's our story. Oh, my God. Megan Gailey, you're the best for joining us. I can't wait to check out the Lifetime Movie Podcast. Oh, my God.

It's going to be great. I'm not a big Lifetime Movie fan, but that is right up my alley. I can't even begin to tell you. Everything you do is. And hey, guys. Oh, shit shit, we gotta get back to work. Stick around. Make a sound. Come here down. It's Dump People Town.