Dumb People Town - Megan Gailey - What'd She Do?

Episode Date: July 30, 2024

Comedian and writer Megan Gailey stops by as Jason describes how a confrontation at a San Diego marina prompts a visit from Harbor Police, Randy explains why a man was banned for life from Buc-Ees for bringing an emotional support duck, and Daniel warns against getting a Tesla logo tattooed on your face and getting a DUI in a 1992 minivan, and so much more! Thanks to our sponsors: Diet Smoke and Mint Mobile! Go to dietsmoke.com and use DPT for 20% off your entire order plus a $50 welcome bundle completely free.  To get this new customer offer and your new 3-month premium wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to mintmobile.com/DUMB.

Dan and Ran and Jay will share tales of folks so unaware They lack in grace and sometimes choose the life they choose We'll make the news breaking down each epic fail In Florida there's half price bail I'm happy to say they couldn't make this up So listen to our podcast, Dan, with co-host Armand Dan. Members, don't be a jerk, because when the music goes, the funny hits, we are gonna take you down. Stick around, make a sound, Bunker Down is Dump People Town.

Hey, Townies, we got something special to announce. Oh, I would agree. What are you doing on August 9th? Because we're doing a live Dump People Town in Brooklyn, New York at the Bell House Theater. We've sold this place out before. We're coming back and hoping to do the same thing again. So get your tickets now.

Boys, we've got great guests for this show. We have another one that we're gonna announce soon. So you probably wanna get them before everybody else is on this tip. Chloe Trost from SNL, she's amazing. We got to hang with her at Moon Tower and she is energy incredible. She's so much fun.

Musical guest, Ted Leo much fun musical guest Ted Leo Oh, tell you of tell you and he's also hilarious. So he's gonna chime in on the jokes part, too It's so much fun. Alive Dump People town is a religious experience. We love our audience in New York You guys always come make a little room on your wall. We got an original poster for this show You can pick one of those say hi to us hang a little after the show pick up one of those posters It's August in New York. Let's have a good time. Yeah, August 9th, we'll see you at the Bell House.

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Hey townies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population U. Population Gailey. The great Megan Gailey joins this show. The Midwest Zone. She's one of the few comedians that can double dip. She can do this show.

She can do View From the Cheap Seats. She's a huge fan. You're also one of the last things I enjoy about Twix, Twitter. Oh yeah. You during any sporting event, but especially the NBA. People are like, how are you still on there? And it's always sports.

I've muted almost everything. I wanna do sports. I'm also obsessed with this Karen Reed trial that's happening right now. Karen Reed. It keeps showing up on my TikTok and I don't understand what is happening. There's all these layers of-

Follow her to find out what's going on. What'd she do? What'd she do? Okay, so she is on trial. The jury is deliberating right now. I'm listening to local coverage of this. Yeah, you are. That is how.

So Karen Reed is on trial for murdering her Boston PD boyfriend. Oh, you don't cross that thin blue line. But the truth is, what I think the truth is at least, is that. You're not gonna get away with that. Is that there is a massive cover up, there's a framing happening. Of her.

Of her by other Canton, Massachusetts PD, and Boston PD, and there's an ATF agent involved. So it's just like this, it's very Mayor of Easttown. Yes. They all, like in the trial. Caitlin is already playing her. Yeah. Karen Reed.

With a Philly accent. They talk about the Patriots so much in the trial. Like it's so funny. I mean it's devastating whatever happens. Whenever these. Somebody should take out Belichick for his 24 year old girlfriend. Dude you're not gonna believe this.

What do they have to talk about? Dude you see that picture of Belichick. Dude what do they have to talk about? When his girlfriend was a baby? They, there is like actual testimony of someone being like, well, we went over, we knew it was gonna be the last game, just based on how the season was.

Oh God, what? It's got attitude about the season. Shots at Robert Kraft? Yeah, they're like dragging Mac Jones in this murder trial. Oh my God. He doesn't have the arm. It's stupid, it's dumb. Well, you're a good thing still on there. Thank you. Mack Jones in this murder trial. Oh my God. He doesn't have the arm. It's stupid, it's dumb.

Well you're a good thing still on there. Thank you. I still am, I'm still having fun on there. Same, we're still on there. And we'll talk about something that we just did with you that just made us so happy in a little bit. But Jay, jump into a story right away. Story number one sent in by little Andy Greenberg

at Andy the G. I love him. Confrontation at San Diego Marina involving La Jolla businessman prompts visit from Harbor Police. Hmm. Right? What did he say again? Confrontation at San Diego Marina involving

La Jolla businessman prompts visit from Harbor Police. La Jolla businessman is like the least respectable title. Okay sir, what do you own? Like a sea salt hair product store? I'm a La Jolla businessman. It doesn't really have the ring of like DC lobbyists. Right, right. La Jolla businessman.

You sell popsicles? If you told me that La Jolla businessman was a Steely Dan album, I would agree with you. Be like, oh yeah. Is Ricky Don't Lose That Number on that? Okay, all right, San Diego. A local. So now I have an idea of who he is and I now am colored by him. Like, well, he gives money. He sponsored a Little League team once.

Yeah, he's taxed right off philanthropy. Sponsored a Little League team once. And they weren't even that good. All right, had a confrontation at the Marriott Marina on Sunday afternoon with a, I'm not sure, a couple of guys from the Marriott team. I'm not sure what they were doing. They were doing a little bit of a show. They were doing a little bit of a show. They were doing a little lead team one. And they weren't even that good. All right, had a confrontation at the Marriott Marina

on Sunday afternoon with a, I'm not gonna tell you how old he is, we can guess later, employee on the dock in front of hundreds of people. Hundreds of people. It ended with, you know when people start shouting on a marina, like it just, people get out of whatever houseboat they live in in San Diego.

Guys, I can help with this. I used to work right there. You did! Aaron! Local business man, Aaron. It's right next to the convention center where I was security for six years. Oh my God.

So, the Marriott Marina is right there on the water. Jay, we know where this is. Tons of people walking by all day long. Jerry Lewis used to have his boat docked there. So, Jay and I, I went to a, my daughter had a gymnastics competition at the convention center right there. We walked down by that, Jay, you and I walked down

that thing all the time. How'd she do? She did well. Okay. Marriott Marina, I feel like I've had a confrontation there. Right? Yeah, you would. Yeah.

It ended though, with the businessman dropping his pants and screaming from the back of his boat. Oh my God. So that's a moment. Someone got under someone's skin. He ran, he Randy Mossed him, but really did it. But for real. But really did it.

Oh my God. All right, Wendy, and we're gonna guess right now, how expensive is his yacht. Oh my God. All right, Wendy, and we're gonna guess right now, how expensive is his yacht? Oh my God. It's a Technomar for Lamborghini 63 yacht. A Lamborghini yacht? All right, so Megan, you were out yacht. It's probably named Bowerd Stern.

You were, ha! Ah! Baba booey, but it's a booey. Yeah, that's good. Wait, Megan, you were just, you were just Jackie Marlin. Just go deep, just go deep on that little Howard Stern. It was like, I don't know, so Megan, you were just yacht shopping with your husband.

So what taught? Robin shivers me to my knees. Sorry, these are so good. Why are all these tickling me so much? Everything Dan is saying is tickling me on this one. The names of boats is like, ugh. It's like naming a podcast. So how expensive, I think it's like $70 million.

Wow, you said 63 feet? That's huge. Yeah, I'm gonna say I don't know if it's a 63 It says Lamborghini 63 yacht. It didn't say I really clung to that 63. Yeah I'm gonna say 25 million Are you ready Dan? Did you say 10 million? Get your answers in a 4.5 million dollars You can't. Pull your pants up. Pull them up.

You can't be pulling your pants down in a four. I thought 70 million dollars. Sounds like La Jolla adjacent businessman. Rolled into the Marriott Marina Sunday, everyone stopped to stare and take pictures and videos. Who's writing this? I think he's providing the information. Yes, he is.

They don't get philanthropists in unless his PR person is. Let me get these words in. One of those people was Joseph Holt, who works at the private dock. But when the driver tried to pick up someone here, Holt had to say halt, I wrote that, and stop him. Quote, I told him respectfully that he couldn't be there, and I honestly was hoping to have a conversation

with him about his cool boat. I love this guy. But yeah, it completely went the other way, Holt said. Oh my God. So you know this is a real quote. Yeah. Because he kind of was like, I gotta give it to him. But I told him he can't be here.

You're breaking the rule. Your boat's cool as shit. Right. So and if we know one thing about people who own yachts is they love being told what to do. That's right. Oh, yeah. That's right, you can't be here. It's not so much a yacht.

Here's a photo. Oh, okay. All right. It's more of a speedboat that's super cool. Ew, I hate him. I hate him and his little dick. That is a penis. I hate him so much. This is like, this is when I see a cyber truck driving. I'm like bursting to flames in front of me.

There is video of the confrontation if you wanna try and find it there. Cyber truck is a Pontiac Aztec that was drawn by a six year old. Okay. This is the owner of the yacht and you may hate him even more. AJ, A-J-A-Y Thakor.

T-H-A-K-O-R-E is the owner of the yacht. He's rotten to Thakor. He's also, AJ Thakor, T-H-A-K-O-R-E is the owner of that. He's rotten to Thakor. He's also, A.J. Thakor, he's also known as Ace Rogers. Like him even more now? Jesus. Ace Rogers. A.J. Thakor, also known as Ace Rogers? Dan, what is he, five?

That's wild. This is why when people are like, I love San Diego, I'm like, go do stand up there. Thank you. Good luck. We've done it. A.J. Thak Diego, I'm like, go do stand up there. Thank you. Yeah, good luck. We've done it. AJ Thakur, also known as Ace Rogers. Ace Rogers, sounds like that was what they wanted

to call Steve Austin. But why does he have a pseudonym? Because he has that boat. He's got pants pulling down money. Oh my God. CBS 8 has spoke with him. Has spoken? What is happening?

Who wrote this article? They had spoke with him. See what happened is. And he didn't, he ain't answered. He ain't answered. They had spoke with him though. Okay fine. About his business and philanthropy.

But Hott, or I guess they're saying Holt said that, that's not the Rogers he met at the marina. It escalated, quote, it escalated immediately. It was zero to 100 immediately he said. Just like the yacht. Holt said Rogers threatened his life. And there's a YouTube video that shows it. Can you find it, Aaron?

It's in there, it's a news report, but you can hear it. I can, this guy is listed as an internet personality when you Google it. No! Now I hate him even more. I like him more. You like him more? I'm back on board.

Okay, you're back on board. Ace and the Holt is probably the name of the boat. No, Holt is the guy who tried to stop him. Ace Rogers is the pseudonym for A.J. Thakur. Okay. A-Rod. A.J. Thakur. The video showed Roger staying on the end of his yacht

a few feet away. Is that a yacht? A few feet away from Holt who is standing on the dock. Roger screams. I would be like, you gotta get your speedboat out of here. Roger screams, echo through the marina. Roger is heard on the video shouting, I will kill you, I will kill you, I will kill you.

Wow. With kindness. Cause I'm a philanthropist. We have Karen, you know, and Karen has been beat to death. That name is just, you know, I say that I'm a Karen for good. I call myself a Corinne. So what, we need something.

A term. For men of this ilk. Gary, Gary's a Gary. Okay. Don't be a Gary Gorman. I do love Gary. And I like Gary Busey. I saw Gary Busey. Utah, I want two.

Why don't we order the meatball subs in point break. Jeff Richards. Yeah, I saw a graph recently that said like, babies being born with the name Karen is done. Well, and that was dropping anyways. Yeah, it was. There's no one that's like, meet my baby Karen. Meet my baby Jennifer, that doesn't exist.

No. Meet our little boy Gary. Gary. A kid's name's, woof. We need to do a whole other episode of that. Garrett. Garrett. Gale.

Ace should be the Karen. Ace Rogers, that's not a yacht. It's a speedboat. But I hate that they're calling him Rogers. Call him Thakur. Yeah. Holt said Rogers got out of his wallet and continued his various vicious tirade towards him

as he threw $100 bills at him into the water. Oh my God, I'm diving in and getting them. This is clinging. I'm literally diving in and getting them. Yeah, he's yelling at a teenager who works at the marina. Throw more. Get his ass. Throw more.

Get his ass. Get him. He's not seeing the money. You gotta throw more. Here it is. You're gonna see. So it's a news report. 24 seven.

Vision of Asia. TV channel, ITV Gold. Yes. We're gonna get it to like where the action. Oh, I've been meaning to catch up on Vision of Asia, Voice of the Community. Let's try again all my news from Vision of Asia. Come on.

Oh, here it is, here it is. Okay, here we go. It is a dope boat. Look at that boat, guys. I will kill you. Look at the kid, he's just like. Yeah, get him. Drive away. He's flipping him Yeah, get him. Drive away.

He's flipping him off, drive away. Oh yeah. In your face. Oh, in your face. In your face. That's the end of this conversation. He's yelling at a boy in a back-walls hat. Oh, and there's a dog.

There's a little dog on that yacht. Oh God, he pulled his pants down. Whoa. And he's mocking like he's jerking you. So it wasn't like mooning you, it's I'm gonna run down. No, so he is mocking like he's jerking. Oh, so it wasn't like mooning you. No, I'm gonna run down frontal frontal frontal. And so was he hard? Well, he's like yelling at that. I don't know that he can't get anything. I'm gonna say something I didn't think I was gonna say. Yeah. Ace let me down. I'm just

getting your shot. Guys, You expected more out of me. I mean, when you hear about Ace Rogers, you're like, philanthropist, La Jolla businessman. I'm gonna be a good guy. And to see this sort of behavior... It's shocking. It's something I'd expect from AJ Thicore. Ace Rogers?

We were all just so willing to give him the benefit of the doubt that it was his butt. He's a La Jolla business butt cheeks. And it's broad daylight penis. Full frontal balls. Front. Cock and balls. Kevin Bacon, Wild Things.

Full front. Egg from Kevin Bacon. I'm a minimum wage worker. He was commenting on that, on my status, just because of my job. He was saying I'm nobody, I'm nothing, I work a silly job. He said that he knows people, on my status, just because of my job. He was saying, I'm nobody, I'm nothing, I work a silly job. He said that he knows people, he has connections,

he can change my life and ruin it. Now change my life, philanthropy. Philanthropy. Ruin it. Ruin it. I'm not really believing it. Be careful what you wish for. That's right.

I really didn't know how to process it, I really was trying to restrain myself from getting fired from my job or stepping out of line. The only thing I did was give him the bird, Holtz. By the way, I thought Holtz showed tremendous restraint. Tremendous. Holtz had a hand in his pocket. The other one's giving a high five.

He's like, all right, dude. He's like, this is maritime law. When you have maritime law on your side, you're like, listen. Coast Guard comment. At what point do you call the stevedore? That's my favorite name of anyone who works at a boat. Isn't that what they put cigars in to keep them.

That's a humidor. Is that what they put balls in at the Colorado Rockies? Okay, he had. I feel like you got a cool boat, dude. Like, whenever you wanna fuckin' come back here, let me fuckin' talk you about a boat. Let's go about it. Let's chill out.

He was questioning my madness. Was that the only person in the video that was seeing if they could, like trying to see if they could spot $100 bills floating in the water? I didn't see any. I didn't either. Someone got him out. I'm literally diving in as soon as that boat leaves the thing. I'm diving in, I'm like, I'm going to find him.

I'm at check currents right now. He had dropped his pants and started to make gestures to everyone watching and me. You can't act that way in public. It's just not okay. Especially threatening my life at the very least. There were women and children there! That's the most important part, Holt said. Is it the most important part?

This says Holt said. So whoever wrote this, misspelled lowercase H-O-L-D. CBS8 received a statement from Ace Rogers sent by his public relations team that said, philanthropist, quote, the interaction that occurred yesterday was regrettable. What started as a minor misunderstanding escalated into an argument, and I apologize for my actions and to those who witnessed the unfortunate exchange.

Please still patronize my La Jolla business. Harbor police arrived about 10 minutes after Rogers and his yacht left the marina. Holt said he told them what happened. It's not a yacht, it's a speedboat. I don't know, it looked pretty big in the video. Listen to this, Holt said he told them what happened, but he felt the officer did not take it seriously

and was even chuckling. In response, CBS 8's requests were common for the incident, Harbor police said on March 10th, 2024, at what time do you think this happened? We can see light out. 10 a.m. That's a 10 a.m. moment. I think it's at 2 p.m.

2 p.m. 4.30 p.m. Get your answers in. Daniel's very close. 4.47 p.m. Wow. I can tell by the shadows. Port of San Diego Harbor.

Police department officers responded to a call of a possible intoxicated vessel operator at the C4th boat. So they're blaming on alcohol. Rental doc in the San Diego Marriott Marquis Marina. The suspects left the area prior to the officers arriving. The scene officer spoke with the reporting party and took the report on the incident.

So he could not dock there because he wasn't a member there. That's right, to pick someone up. All right, we're gonna get out of here on this. How old is Lester Holt? 19. No, Holt the kid. Holt the kid. 19. 19 years old?

23. It's not Lester, but yeah, 19, 20. He. No, Holt the Kid. 19. 19 years old? 23. It's not Lester, but yeah, 19, 20. He's young, he's 23. Yeah, I'm gonna get, oof. I'll go, oof. I'll go 20. 20. 20 years old. One of you is one year off.

Cause he's 18. I'll go 22. I'll go 21. Now everyone's changing? Yeah, because you get one year. Oh, okay, I'm going 18. Okay, get your answers in. Story number one in the one year. Oh, okay, I'm going 18. Get your answers in. Story number one in the books.

We'll tell you what we got going on. That's a great one. We'll tell you what she's going on. What Dan does. This is an unbelievable story. Dan's gonna tell you what he's doing because we flipped it. I don't care.

This damn kid is 21 years old. Nice job, Dan. You switched it to the right way. All right, Megan Gailey is our guest here on Dumb People Town. There's a lot of dumb. We're gonna keep going through stuff. I think it's me.

I'm gonna answer anyway. Yes. I love it's me. I think it's Randy. I love this pass around the iPad. Pass the pad. This is what my parents do. This is what women do in bathrooms everywhere. Pass the pad. You talk to her? Is that like a FaceTime thing?

FaceTime, I think. I can only see your forehead, dad. You talk, she wants to talk to you. What? What, I'm FaceTiming. We'll be right back with more dumb people done Hey guys welcome back to the show before I have to say before we get into what Dan's doing this There is a moment in like a

1993 slam dunk contest where Vince Carter it at the slam dunk contest where Vince Carter, at the slam dunk contest. Well, it's way later, 93. 95, maybe, I don't know, we'll have to check. I'm with you, I'm with you. We did it on Cheap Seats. He dunks, he does his dunk and then comes forward, but he's so filled with bravado that he like,

kinda gets in the face of like, one of the kids who's supposed to clean the floor. Who probably, if they're doing the dunk contest, probably is ill. Right, yo, yo, yo, there's like six months to live. And Vince Carter gets in this little kid's face so hardcore because he has all this pent up thing. That's like what just happened.

You dunked on the world with your yacht slash speedboat and now you're yelling at the Make-A-Wish kid on the way out the door. Little known fact about me, I have made out with an NBA slam dunk contest winner. Wow. What? Hello, Spudweb.

Do we need to say more? No, that's it, that's all I got. Matt McClane. Yeah, it's not Matt. Zach Levine, Jesus. You can't say anything else about that. You're just gonna drop that bomb and not say another word.

Julius Irving? I think if I gave you guys like 50 guesses, you wouldn't be able to get it. We're just gonna name everyone of every year. Jafail McGee. Okay. All right, so, Blake Griffin. She made out with Blake Griffin.

I did not, but I did work for Blake Griffin. Of course you did. We all have. Roast jokes for him, he's the best. Daniel, tell us. Are you wrote Espy, all right, sorry. Before we get to how you can support Megan and see her live and all that wonderful stuff and follow her, Daniel.

Peruse, I don't know when this is coming out, just go to danielvankirk.com, whether that's when I'm in Fort Collins or headlining in Dayton, Kentucky, right there across the water from Cincinnati, I'm headlining in Dayton, Kentucky, right there across the water from Cincinnati. I'm headlining their comedy festival. Everything's at danielvankirk.com. If for some reason this is in the middle of July, you should come to Hub City Comedy Week.

I'm doing a week of shows, my own little festival-ish excuse to create new material and have a good time for a week in Chicago. It's Hub City Comedy Week at the Lincoln Launch. Oh my god, that sounds so fun. You gotta go in Chicago. It's Hub City Comedy Week at the Lincoln launch. Oh my god, that sounds so fun. You gotta go to Chicago. A lot of our friends I think are gonna drop in because people just tend to be in Chicago in the summer. I wanna go to Chicago for like two months.

Yeah, it would be a dream. This is what Dan wants, he wants a week to live in Chicago in the summer. We need to get jobs on Chicago Fire. I want, like, I want, I wanna do it before my son goes to school. Because I'm like, can we just take him to Chicago for three months?

I want to. Yes, and just be based out of there. Fly anywhere you have to go do it. Dan, are you? Everything's at danielvankirk.com, Rose Gold as well. Rose Gold, watch his special. We're gonna get him up over 100,000 views, number one, number two.

When you go to Cincinnati? Labor Day weekend. Okay, are you, number one, number two. When you go to Cincinnati or? Labor Day weekend. Okay, are you a book reader, like hard copy book reader? Yeah, I love a good book. I'm gonna get you a book to read. The Pete Rose book, it's the best thing ever. It's unbelievable. Megan, you would love it.

You would love it, it's like, you cannot believe. Just watching a guy lose their shit. I'm pro Pete Rose. Oh, you won't be after this book. Ah! You won't be when he like walks his mistress to the across the motel. Hey, no spoiler alert.

No spoiler alert. It's hurry up. Okay, gambling, gambling, I go put him in the hall. Put him in the hall. Best thing that ever happened to him is I'm not putting him in the hall. Wait till you watch this. Wait till you, let's read this.

She's like wait till you watch this. Read the book, but Dan. You wrote that last article. So much, hold, hold. So much of this book takes place on the Kentucky side of Cincinnati where he grew up. The nasty. You gotta read it west side.

Before you get there or while you're there. I'm getting you this, it's my gift. It's my early birthday present. All that stuff and again, Dan is so good in the movie Wine Club, it's on Tubi right now, just watch it. He's the lead in that goddamn movie. Dan is the lead in a goddamn movie.

It should be leads in more movies. Steve Little is so good in that movie. I loved your co-star. She's so good. Oh, Taylor Ortega. Your chemistry was amazing. Let's get Taylor Ortega on this damn show. I did After Midnight.

I was like, what's it called? I did After Midnight with Taylor. So funny. She's great. Very, very funny. Amazing, but their chemistry in this movie is unbelievably amazing. Sex scene?

No. Dan is a lot of love. Love? Comedy love. I bought them as a couple in like the best way possible. Smooches? Did you guys have to smooch? Yes, there was some smooching. I believe it was amazing. Sex scene? No. No, but like love, a lot of love. Comedy love. I bought them as a couple in like the best way possible. Smooches? Did you guys have to smooch?

Yes, there was some smooching. I wanna. A little, but you guys were more like. Some pretend fingering. Oh! Wait, oh that's right. Dang, I gotta get. Dan, spoiler alert!

Stop, Dan. Come on, Dan. All right, Meg, I never see it coming. Can I just say, our experience working on, we hosted the Real TV Critics' Choice Awards, and Megan, who is just a fountain of knowledge in the reality world and has written for award shows and is just a great joke writer.

We're like, we have to have, the time we spent with you at my house just like shooting the shit, hanging out. Eating snacks. Eating snacks and just doing the thing, writing jokes. That was like. And of course your joke, everyone excited for Milf Manor? The new Milf Manor? I'm excited for Dilf Dungeon.

And then we added the joke, which we kind of worked on with Justin Martindale. We like did it on stage at the Comedy Store and he kind of got us there, but we took it. Dilf Dungeon, where every day his father's day. That was so fun. A daddy's day. It just was so great.

So I just gotta give credit where credit is due. You were a joy to work with and you came up with so much funny stuff and I loved it. I was so happy to do it. I was also so sad I could not be there day of. And then seeing all the photos. I mean like, you were with to me, like the Mount Rushmore of celebs.

I'm like Sheena in gold, like it was just so, Sheena Kim. John Walsh, John Walsh from who, by the way, cornered me and started telling me all the conspiracy theories about Jeffrey Epstein. And I'm like, I wanna hear all of this, but also like my daughter's here and I can't talk to you for 45 minutes.

Actually, I need to bring my daughter over. She needs to hear this too. I can't talk to you for 45 minutes about why the woman who was the guard went on break. I just can't. And why the cops let him go. I mean, it's unbelievable. It's fascinating.

He's probably right. He is right. He is amazing and it was really. The joke we came up on the spot that night was, we came up with which is that Patty Stanger, the millionaire matchmaker, and John Walsh came up on stage right after one another. And we're like, can we just talk about how great this show is

to have John Walsh from America's Most Wanted and Patty Stanger from Millionaire Matchmaker. Why don't we combine those two shows? I mean, both of them are looking for a needle in a haystack. America's Most Matchmaker. And then I said, he's a serial killer, she's a serial monogamous. Let's get it.

I mean, that's great. That got no laughs, no laughsogamous. Let's get it. Let's get it. That's great. That got no laughs, no laughs. No, that did really well. You're wrong. They were just a little, the audience was a little weird, but whatever, I just, how can people follow you and support you and all that?

Oh my gosh, I just got back from tour, so I'm probably never going anywhere ever again. You're not sure? No, I'm gonna be doing a bunch of dates, opening up for Chelsea Handler. Nice. In the, and I can't believe I'm gonna try and help her sell. I think they're all sold out.

But if you're coming to those shows, I'll be so excited to see you. But you can find me at BetterMeganGaley on Instagram. And yeah, I post all the shows, some clips, pictures of my son. I, you know, my reply guys are pretty upset with my mom content, and so I have been posting bikini pics to get them back.

Yeah. Thirst traps of your son, which I think is weird. Thirst traps coming. You did go to a bachelor party with very, very beautiful. All the hotties. NFL report. Yeah, probably one of the hottest women, and then there's just me standing next to her.

I'm like, why do I stand next to her? Why am I her, why do I look like her assistant? All right, you, stop, stop. Okay, you ready? Should we jump into the story? Let's do it. This sent by David Fournier, who sent a bunch, I love this guy.

DP Fournier 2. At DP Fournier 2 on March 24th. All right, you ready for this? Yep. And Dan, you might have been to one of these before. Oh, can I meet Raffle? And Dan, you might have been to one of these before. Oh, okay, meat raffle? Nope. Man banned from Buc-ee's.

You ever been to a Buc-ee's? I've been to a countless Buc-ee's. Of course. They're building one in Wisconsin. So think about that. Banned for life from a Buc-ee's. What do you gotta do to get banned for life? I think we gotta Ace Rogers.

Nah, that's right. Rory and I got pretty pissed off there. At a Buc-ee's? Yeah, we had some bad customer service. Man banned a Buc-ee's. I'm like, I'm gonna go to a Buc-ee's. I'm like, I'm gonna go to a Buc-ee's. I'm like, I'm gonna go to a Buc-ee's. I'm like, I'm gonna go to a Buc-ee's. I'm like, I'm gonna go to a Buc-ee's. I'm like, I'm gonna go to a Buc-ee's. I'm like, I'm gonna go to a Buc-ee's. I'm like, I'm gonna go to a Buc-ee's. I'm like, I'm gonna go to a Buc-ee's.

I'm like, I'm gonna go to a Buc-ee's. I'm like, I'm gonna go to a Buc-ee's. I'm like, I'm gonna go to a Buc-ee's. I'm like, I'm gonna go to a Buc-ee's. I'm like, I'm gonna go to a Buc-ee's. I'm like, I'm gonna go to a Buc-ee's. I'm like, I'm gonna go to a Buc-ee's. I'm like, I'm gonna go to a Buc-ee's.

I'm like, I'm gonna go to a Buc-ee's. I'm like, I'm gonna go to a Buc-ee's. I'm like, I'm gonna go to a Buc-ee's. I'm like, I'm gonna go to a Buc-ee's. I'm like, I'm gonna go to a Buc-ee's. I'm like, I'm gonna go to a Buc-E's for life quote in quotes So he's not for life after bringing service duck into store He's my emotional support that a man he's the he's the dynasty I'm trying to create

That's a bit. I don't know if it's for YouTube or if it's just him being like a nut, but this is a bit. A man was banned from not just that Bucky store, Daniel and Magnus and Jake. Duck, duck, banned. Oh, duck, duck, banned.

That's the New York Post headline. Duck, duck, loose. Anyway, from all Bucky stores for life after bringing his service duck into the chain's Tennessee store, according to Fox News on Saturday, the man, Justin Wood, posted a video of the incident on his YouTube account

earlier this year. That's right, YouTube channel, aptly dubbed, hold on. Aptly dubbed. Aptly, aptly ducked. Aptly dubbed seductive. Ooh, oh. No. Duck in all caps. No. Apleyducked, aptly dubbed seductive. With the duck. No.

Duck in all calves. No, seductive is a sexual word. What are you gonna do with that duck? What are you doing with that duck? I'm gonna look reductive. You don't worry about him, he's my duck. Inductive. You know, you don't worry about it is the worst way to do it.

He's fine. Has close to how many followers? What do you think? Seductive. Oh, more than me. Yeah, way more. Yeah, this is gonna make you depressed. I'm gonna 250,000.

Yeah, it's an animal. And he's probably posting a lot. Yeah. And he's. 400K. You know what they say, you gotta be consistent. 250 and what do you think? 180.

Thousand? Mm-hmm. Three million. No! It makes you wanna puke. I wanna jump off. Why are you so upset? And features videos of would bring his service duck to various locations including just to piss people off a subway a Chuck E cheeses and a Hooters restaurant Chuck E cheeses for children, right?

Hooters is for everybody in the bus And children the Buc-E's video would he show bring his duck named a wrinkle wrinkle is the name of the duck That's actually cute. This is the Wrinkle is the name of the duck. That's actually a cute name. This is what I'm saying. The duck? No, the duck is, yeah. Cause the duck's just probably adorable and cool. So the chain's largest like this.

And I'm not even mad at him. I just, your whole thing can't be I'm gonna bring my duck places to annoy people. That's his channel. That's his thing. And that's not like. Also just, there are rules. Just follow the simple rules.

Dude, there was a time in this country, and I'm not gonna be the old guy yelling on my lawn. But when you, if you walked your dog too close to a restaurant that had outdoor seating, they went from an A to a B. Now you can fucking bring your dog into the restaurant? And put it up on the counter. What are we doing?

You're bringing your dog into Nordstrom's rack. I have gotten a pedicure next to a German Shepherd. Why? Under what circumstances does a dog need to do that for your boss? What color did the German Shepherd go with? That's the thing. The German Shepherd wasn't even,

you know once I flew with the Target dog, you know in the Target first class, I'm in coach. The dog is sitting its butt. The dog doesn't care. The dog does not care. All right, during the video, an employee comes over to tell Wood that pets are not allowed in the store.

That should be the end of the video. Okay. Yeah. If someone says you can't go in somewhere because you've got, oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that. That's the start of the video. Thank you.

Wood explains that Wrinkle is a service animal. Quote, I can give you three forms of identification right now if you'd like. Of what? Of your identification? I just said the answer is no. I just wanted to make sure, okay, thank you, the employee responded.

Wood and Wrinkle then shop around the store a little bit more, though another employee approaches Wood and tells him the pets aren't allowed in the store. You're more than welcome to stay here. The animal cannot, there are no pets in here, the worker said in the video, your animal, even if it's considered a service animal, you have to be able to contain it and it can fly out.

Yeah, Wood points out that wrinkle, quote, contained, was contained, laid in a stroller that he had brought in the store, but the employees insisted that he would need to either take wrinkle out of the store or put her on a leash, put her on a leash. Like they're trying to be so accommodating to wrinkle. In Tennessee, where women can't even read in public.

Or, yeah. Is this Bucky's in Tennessee? Yeah, in Tennessee. I didn't know that. Turn that shit into pate. So then look at what the guy does. Wood then puts an imaginary leash around Wrinkle's neck before putting the duck on the ground

and having her follow him. Oh cool, he's a drag off. So now he's like, he's like, let me, oh you want me to put my leash on? I'll put my leash on it right now like this and then. Both of these stories, the theme is terrorizing minimum wage employees. Thank you.

Which is also what TikTok is. I'm like, leave the people working the drive through alone. So the employee said, okay, I'll call the cops. After purchasing a case of water bottles, Wood is shown leaving the store and an officer pulls up in a patrol vehicle. He's rolling the whole time. Wood provides Wrinkle's ID to the officer

who tells Wood that he is banned from all Bucky's properties going forward, including both the parking lots and inside the stores. It's not my decision and everything, it's just theirs and everything. Great quote for the officer. So if you're caught on the property. Who's gonna enforce this? I'm gonna read the whole quote

and you're gonna see the optimal word in here. It's not my decision and everything, it's just theirs and everything. So if you're caught on the property and everything, you'll be targeted with trespassing and everything. A couple more officers show up to tell Wood that his duck had bitten one of the stuffed animals in the store, so he owed 16.14.

I mean. Bitten? He had bitten it. He bit that thing in there. Oh, he bites. Oh, he bites. Oh gosh. We. Oh, gosh. We are not a place.

So he bit a stuffed animal in the store. They were ready to leave. This is what Wood then says. I was gonna buy it. I was trying to buy that thing. That was the whole point. That was not the whole point. That was not the whole point.

The point was to get your video made. Video shows a Bucky's employee coming out to take the money and Wood hands her how big of a bill? Oh, he's trying to roll. $100, what do you think? 50. I think he hands her like $17. Okay.

It's a bill, it's a single bill. One bill. Oh, one, 20. Okay. One of you is exactly right. What if he handed her like less, like five? Or he hands her like a dollar bill with wrinkles on it? No.

He hands her a hundred dollar bill with wrinkles on it. No. He hands her a hundred dollar bill from a Marina. No, he hands her that the duck jumped in and got the bill. That's when you need the service duck. You're watching this, you're like, go get the money bro. I love ducks too. Me too, I think ducks are kids. Ducks are, yeah. Pro ducks.

Anyway. Hate geese. Hands of $50 hate geese. $50 bill, I was right. And you know what Wood says? Keep the change, cause he's a good guy. You filthy duck. It's the wood that makes it good.

No, I don't want to do that, the employer responded. I don't want the thing. I don't want to deal with Buc-E's. That reminds me of a horrible experience, and you're rubbing it in Wood's state in the video. The officers are also shown playing with wrinkle before the video ends. Buc-E's pet policy states the following.

The health code prohibits live animals, including dogs, where food could be potentially contaminated. There are expectations, exceptions, however, for service animals and animals that work with police officers. For people with disabilities, specially trained service animals play an absolutely vital role.

This is it. Seeing eye dog. They make it possible for those with disabilities to work, travel, and safely, and in some cases, stay alive by false claiming that your pet is a service animal. You are poisoning attitudes towards true service animals.

This is all in their document. In addition, you enter a facility where an actual service animal is working, your untrained animal may jeopardize the safety of that service animal and its handler. That's their pet policy. In addition, New Six reached out to the seductive YouTube account for comment.

The account responded as follows, an article has been written without contacting me at all and it didn't get all the facts correctly. It didn't get all the facts correct. And it seems everyone is just quoting this article and now with Fox News and TikTok getting involved. They're not getting involved. No one cares.

It's portraying the story in a misleading way to me and in quite a negative light, signed Wrinkle and Human. So he doesn't even have a name. Wrinkle and the human that's trying to have sex with. Well, does he put like the print of Wrinkle's foot or like does Wrinkle actually sign it? Wrinkle's got ID. Wrinkle signs it and that is it.

All right, that story too down in the books.. Wrinkle signs it. And that is it. All right, that's story two down in the books. Don Wrinkle is my favorite. Insult Duckery. Insult Duckery. Men are bad, men are bad. Men are bad, boom. Daniel, what do we get? A little taste of story three?

Hardcore Tesla fan. Oh, I love it. Here we go, here we go! Story three, got Megan Galey with us. We'll be right back. Yeah. Stick around, make a sound. There's more to F*****g Town. Jay, you know when you discover a new binge Story three, got Megan Galey with us, we'll be right back. ["Dumb People Town"] Jay, you know when you discover a new binge-worthy show

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Use the code D-E-D-O-N. Stick around, make us sound. There's more to our people town. Hey guys, welcome back to the show. The great Megan Gailey is with us and I'm so happy. Like this show feels like all the stuff we do before we get down to writing in a writer's room. So I love that you're here because you fully understand

that on a deep level. Daniel, you wanna take a seat? Oh, before we do that, what, what, what? Oh yeah, we have stuff going on for us. Oh, we have a show, I don't know if this comes out before it, but a show at Largo, we're doing Tag It on the 15th of July, should be a really great show. Possibly 9th at Bell House.

Possibly the 9th of August at Bell House at Live Dumb People Town, we're getting that confirmation on that, hopefully that happens, we'll let you know through all the proper services. Thank you to everyone and all of our patreon fans Just a quick note about that. We we were uploading it on a schedule thing and a couple of them did not get uploaded So we went back and did that so just go back They're all in there right now and thank you for your patience and anyone who wants little extra stories You guys can call in two one3-839-8322, leave your own crazy dumb story and we'll talk about that.

It's so fun. Get in on the fun and extra stuff for you. Superscalars.com for all of our stuff and we're working on a movie that we're gonna be in and writing on Kevin Hart's thing this summer. So busy, busy trying to get all this stuff done and it's been really good, superscalars.com. Daniel.

Some men are good. Some men are good, thank you for that. Thank you for that correction. Some men are good. Some men are good, thank you for that. Thank you for that correction. Some men are good. We'll take it. Are you ready? None of them here, but yes. Yes.

Okay, here we go. A motorist who has a Tesla logo tattooed on his face was driving a 1992 minivan. That is just, That's ballsy. I'm, now, I, now I'm like, well, cool. Like I don't wanna class-shame him. Maybe more men are good than I initially said. When he was arrested Friday.

Elon, mistake. On a felony DUI count and multiple vehicular charges according to state police. Elon must be guilty. You wanna take a look at this guy? I do. This is who has a 90, what'd I say, 92 minivan? 92.

Why does he have it like it's a murder tier? Yeah, it looks like he killed a Tesla in jail. Is that right? How many times do you think he said this next song? What's strange to me is that there's not more face tattoos. Like that's the main one. He's got a little heart over his right eye. Uh-huh.

And then maybe a dove up above his head. I thought that was a Christmas. He's a Roman numeral for 15. If Joey Fatone went post Malone. He's 15. The age she said she was. He's actually kind of handsome. He is.

When Ombre goes right. The age she said she was. She's actually kind of handsome. He is. He's pre-Malone. When Ombre goes right. You could curly sue him and like, BQ. Pre-Malone? I said pre-Malone. Jordan Lindsay. I know, interesting. Two first names, one of them a woman's name.

Or also a man's. Was behind the wheel of a GMC Safari that crashed Thursday evening on a local highway. A GMC Safari is sick though. A GMC Safari. It's like a Geo Tracker. I have absolutely, absolutely been driven drunk in a 1992 GMC Safari by almost every dad that lived in my neighborhood growing up.

There were so many times I would get out of a van and my mom would be like, you're never allowed in that car ever again. I'd be like, we were hanging out on the roof. Why am I don't get to ride anymore? Cause he just ran over our mailbox. Fuck out of that car. A circuit court complaint describes the 10 PM incident as a single vehicle rollover.

No, that's not good. I'm gonna get this vehicle. I'm a menace to myself. I can make it, slow down to 35 for this turn. Negative. Lindsay, who we all saw, was arrested on a felony aggravated DUI count since he was driving with a suspended license

due to a previous conviction. Of what? I don't know. Lord knows. He was also charged with driving an uninsured vehicle, driving an unregistered vehicle, failure to reduce speed to avoid a crash, his own. Right, and listening to Celine Dion on Full Blast.

He was booked into the county jail, from which he was later released. He's scheduled for a December 20th court appearance. Christmas. Right? We gotta get the hair color fixed. We gotta do red and green. It's red on the tips, red on the tips, green on top. Where is this?

The Wisconsin native, who now lives out of the state, has a pending misdemeanor disorderly conduct case and a rap sheet with multiple vehicular convictions. Judging by his face, Lindsay is a Tesla fan, though it does not appear if he owns one of the electric vehicles. Nope. I'm gonna say no. Lindsay's main ride is a Maroon minivan that seats eight and when new, got an average of how many miles per gallon? You know he calls it. Oh, when new? How many miles per gallon are you guys putting on

on a 1992 Maroon GMC Sierra minivan? You know he calls that the Maroon eight. I drive my van nearly every day. Yes. Wanna guess? 18. 18? 18 miles a gallon.

12. 21. 16 miles a gallon. Wow! Megan, that is so bad. So bad. Production of the GMC Safari was discontinued in 2005. Now we get to play a game we don't get to play enough

here in Dump People Town. What home state did this happen in? Was it Indiana, Illinois, or Missouri? You know that he's a Wisconsin native. This happened on a highway. He was driving a 1992. I mean, Illinois is the easy answer. Easy money says Illinois, but

You're just straight south. Down a state, down a state. But does it feel like Columbia? Does it feel like St. Louis? Does it feel like? I mean it feels like. Gary. Yeah, it feels like she's on 65.

And honestly, if the wind gets whipping on 65, you can roll your car by yourself. That's not your fault. It's also a John Cougar, Mellencap lyric, the wind is whipping on 65. And that ain't your fault. Roll. That's not your fault. It's also a John Kruger Malincap lyric, the wind is whippin' on 65. And at your fault, roll yourself does sound like a... I feel like you must have been going to the US swim trials at Lucas Oil Stadium.

He's driving a Shapiros. And I also just, I'm a homer, if Indiana's even an option, I'm picking it good or bad. By the way, you've made so many excuses for this guy. Number one is cute. So you're saying it's your own home state. I think it's my own home state, yeah, absolutely. I think so too, I think it's Indiana.

I think it's Illinois. Okay. This. Missouri. Happened. If it's Missouri, I'm gonna get up and leave. In Elmhurst, Illinois. The and leave in Elmhurst, Illinois It happened on route 83 also called Kingery very familiar with

Okay, last thing you saw his picture. Yeah, how old is Jordan Lindsay? Oh, you saw his photo Gosh time has either been very good or very bad to the tattoos are expensive How old is Jordan Lindsay? He saw his photo. Gosh. Time has either been very good or very bad to this man. So tattoos are expensive, so he definitely works. I think 33. Oh, no. 33. Yeah, no, I mean, he has a face that it's like,

is he 17, is he 50? Thank you. And that's not good. He's not 50, he doesn't have... No, I know, but... 26. Yeah, I think he's in his 20s. 26 from not 50, he doesn't have. No, I know, but. 26. Yeah, I think he's in his 20s. 26 from you, Jason?

I think he's 24. 24? Okay. Jordan. We'll get out of here on this. Lindsay. Is. Megan, thank you so much.

Thank you. Love having you on the show. Better Megan Gale. Better Megan Gale. Go see Wine Club, go watch his She the Hub City Comedy Special. Hub City Comedy Week. Come see us, we love you.

Jordan Lindsay is 25 years old. Oh! Yeah, bookends. Bookends. Bookends. That's the way I like to do it. Thank you guys for joining us.

Fans, we love you. We love you so much. And oh snap, we gotta get back to work. Yeah, you know. Stick around, make a sound. We love you so much. And oh snap, we gotta get back to work.