Dumb People Town - Minisode: Julian McCullough - There's No Crying Over Spilled Milk

Episode Date: April 6, 2018

The Sklars and Dan Van Kirk are joined by comedian Julian McCullough (Soft Spot podcast) for a DPT minisode! In this week’s story, two men get into a heated fight over a glass of milk.

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Make a sound. Hunker Down is Dumb People Town. Hey, townies. Welcome to a mini episode of Dumb People Town. Population you. Population McCullough. Hi, Julian. That felt mean.

No. There's no meanness here. There's nothing mean. Our guest today on this mini is one of our favorite comedians. He's such a great stand-up. You have so many, like, classic bits that I enjoy. Oh, thank you. I didn't know that. Babysitter's Club.

Yeah, I put a lot of time into that one. As high as it gets on the list of one of my – just put it this way. I booked you for my school benefit. Yeah. And, like, we've had amazing people on that thing, and their expectations are super high, and I'm like, I know you will kill this show. You'll deliver because you are that good. And then we just did your amazing podcast, The Soft Spot. Yes, and you guys really revealed

just enough. You got deep. I was happy to get deep and happy to get soft. And someone else you should have on your podcast is sitting to my left right here, Daniel VanCamp. He is absolutely on the... But I couldn't get all three. I mean, it's just... No, no, no. He should have his own.

I actually don't want to do it. You don't want to do it? Do you not have any soft spots? He has a lot of soft spots. Are you from Boston? No. Rochelle, Illinois. I always get those confused.

You should. Well, here's the deal. The world is getting dumber, and it doesn't matter if we do it in three stories or one story. You will see how dumb this world is. And so for your weekend snack that we offer for you right now, Daniel, we have stories that get sent to us by our fantastic fans. Our dumb ears on the ground.

You guys don't even have to work anymore. No. Dan's like, fuck you. Dan's got a lot of work to do. And so they sent us the stories, and then Jay and I haven't heard them. You haven't heard them. Dan has barely gone through them.

And so in the end, the four of us riff on them. Dan, what do we have for the story for this week? Let's do one. It was sent in by Eric James Hiltner at EJH underscore 3K. Eric James Hiltner, the Edward James Alma. He's almost Edward James Alma. He's almost Edward James. EJH.

He sounds like he needs a third on the end of that one. Hiltner the third? Yeah. He's a good contributor. He sends in a lot of stuff the end of that one. Hiltner the third? Yeah. He's a good contributor. He sends in a lot of stuff. Have you ever stayed at a Hiltner? I am a Hiltner honors member, but I've never stayed. I stayed at a Hiltner Garden Suites.

It's not as good as the other. Vero Beach, Florida. Of course. Vero Beach. The motherland of dumb stories. Yes. I was just there. Yeah.

You were just there? Really? I was. Not Vero Beach, but I was in Naples. You were on the other side. Just for the hell of it? I just went. No, I went to do

off-the-hook comedy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How was it? They moved to Naples. Is it off the hook? It was pretty great. I got into it because it's Trump Town.

Really? Yeah, and I got into it with people and it was really fun. It was really fun. Good for you. I love it. I love it.

All right, well, what do we got here? There's no crying over spilled milk, but there's an arrest involving imbibed milk in Indian River County. Did they write that, or you? Yes, of course they wrote that. There's a guy. There's no crying over spilled milk. That is the dumbest. You know, I can't believe you didn't read that.

That's not even the saying. I mean, it's don't cry over spilled milk. There's the dumbest. You know, I can't believe you didn't read that. That's not even the saying. I mean, it's don't cry over spilled milk. There's no crying in baseball. Don't cry. Yeah. Don't cry over spilled milk is what you say to someone when they're crying. That insinuates that there's lots of crying over spilled milk. Also, how much would a league of their own

suck if he had been like, don't cry in baseball? Different line. I'm wrong. You don't cry in baseball. That's a very under wrong. You don't cry in baseball. That's a very underappreciated Tom Hanks role. Oh, yeah. He was fantastic. He is very dark.

When you look at what he's doing there coming off of Forrest Gump in Philadelphia, like, he's just playing this, like, he's a piece of shit. Yeah. He's darker in that

than he is in Philadelphia. Yeah, he is. He hates kids. He's an alcoholic. It's pretty great. He's such a good movie. He's an alcoholic. Pretty great. Such a good movie. He supports women's baseball.

What is going on? Rockford Peaches near Rochelle, AKA Boston. Rockford, Illinois? Yes, it is. All right. Steve McGuffey, which sounds like a mascot. Sounds so made up. He's like the guy who wanted to be the crime dog. Yeah, right.

Not McGuffey, the crime dog. No, you're not. Stephen McGuffey. McG. I think you feel like that's the name of somebody who talks in third person. No, that's what's on his personalized license plate. Right. And he's a director.

Go ahead. No, I literally was going to make the same joke, and then you just said it, and I was going to say it, and be like, oh, no, you just said that. Good. Solid. We covered it. Great minds think alike. Stephen McGuffey of the 1800 block of seventh

avenue add that to the dumb people town walking tour was jailed on a felony aggravated battery charge after the march 1st incident and affidavit states vero beach police at about 1 p.m in the afternoon i love a crime at 1 p.m 1 p is holdover from the night before, Julian? No, it's almost too late. Maybe the way you party. No, but 1 p.m., that's when everybody's like about to – they just had lunch. They're tired. You don't want to commit crimes. Have any of you partied all night into the next day?

No. Yeah, we've partied all night. Maybe. Into the next day? No. I'm talking about morning where you're still – Yes. You don't party anymore. Huh? You don't party anymore. Not like next day? No. I'm talking about morning. You don't party anymore.

Huh? You don't party anymore. Not like that. But yeah. Julian, you have really? Partied into 1pm? Yeah. 1pm the next day. I would say the latest I've gone is where I'm like, okay, it's time to go home and be by myself. Probably the latest is like 10am, 11am.

I think I've gone maybe 7. I've been all night. I've been all night all night yeah i've been i've stepped outside of a club and it was light out and that was like you felt like a vampire here in hollywood oh hollywood it was like over by amoeba that's the worst feeling and it was just light i was like i mean i've never done that in la that would be the worst feeling so i was in vegas yeah that's okay. No idea. Like, wasn't paying attention to time or anything.

Everything was fine. I know. And then when I got to my room, I had left the curtains open, and then I saw that it was day. Day. And I was like, oh, what do I do? Too much day. Oh, it just felt. I would have been fine if I had never known.

I probably could have slept three or four hours and been like, sure, I'm good. Now, to be clear, we're talking about you get into a game of Uno with your friends, and it just goes crazy all night, and you just got to keep playing. Crazy Uno. 1 p.m. in the afternoon. Police said about 1 p.m. in the afternoon, went to McGuffey's. Sounds like they're going to a bar. Yeah.

Going to McGuffey's tonight. Where only a few people know a few names. Right. You guys doing that open mic at McGuffey's? Nah. It few people know a few names. Right. You guys doing that open mic at McGuffies? Nah. It does sound like an open mic in Chicago. We reserve the right to refuse service to nobody. Come on in.

It's McGuffies. We reserve that right. You can't tell us who not to not serve. Police went about 1 p.m. to McGuffey's listed address for a disturbance. And then this is the only next sentence. McGuffey held a wooden stick in an aggressive stance. Okay. That's good writing.

Uh-oh. I don't, yeah. You connect the dots, reader. I know. So he held it in an aggressive stance. A wooden stick in an aggressive stance. McGuffey's roommate told investigators the reason for the disturbance was because McGuffey was upset with him for drinking

his milk out of his glass cup. So it's not just that he drank his milk. He did it out of his, that's my glass cup. Why would he be mad about that? Yes. Well, first of all sharing dairy is the grossest thing two human beings can do. And if you

sharing dairy. You don't share dairy. Sharing dairy sponsored our podcast. That was Sherry's Berries. But can you imagine a grosser thing than I'm eating yogurt and I give you the spoon and I go, would you like a bite of this yogurt? I mean, it's disgusting. That's not even kosher. I have an issue with him calling it a glass cup. Yeah.

A cup suggests plastic. You're right issue with him calling it a glass cup. Yeah. A cup suggests plastic. You're right. I also picture a glass. A glass cup? No, but a cup. You thought of your glass. What did you think it was? Your glass vase?

Imagine the cup. Please be more specific. Oh, a glass cup. Then he took my glass cup. He took your glass cup. You didn't write cup. For some reason, I picture a cup having a thicker lip than a glass. It's like a mug. Sippy cup. Yeah, a right cup. For some reason, I picture a cup having a thicker lip than a glass, right?

It's like a mug. Sippy cup. Yeah, a glass cup is a mug. So you have a kid. That's a porcelain cup. Oh, that's a porcelain cup. You have a kid, and the worst idea in the world would be a glass sippy cup. Yeah. That thing gets broke in 20 seconds.

20 seconds, that thing gets broke. Or it's like fluorescent pink and got a top for kids, and then they pick it up and they go, hey, hey, hey, that's glass. That's glass. Everything is telling the kid to pick it up. Where's my glass cup? A glass like athletic supporting cup? McGuffey and the roommate looked intoxicated, police reported. One in the afternoon.

Drinking milk when you're drunk? And to calm down. And if you are... That's not a white Russian. That's a white Ukrainian. If you're fighting over a glass cup, you hate each other. That's like we couldn't find anything else to fight over. And I guess this is going to be this.

We've already fought about everything else. At that point, the cup is just a MacGuffin for what's really going on. A MacGuffin! They looked intoxicated. Police reported they agreed to keep their distance from each other, which is code for the cops wanted to do zero paperwork. That's right. That's right.

You guys got this? You guys are good? You put the stick down? Stick down. Glass cut back? No. It's just a glass. This is verbally binding.

Yeah. Right. Yeah. And you guys live together, right? Yep. And you agree to stay. This is verbally binding. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And you guys live together, right? Yep. And you agree to stay away from each other? We don't need to type this up. They literally told them, keep your distance from your roommate that you're already drunk

and fighting. Did they put duct tape through the middle of the floor so they couldn't cross over? Yeah. Remember that old TV show? Classic odd couple episode. There was like an Addams Family episode, I think, where they did that. That was a big time. That was a big one.

That was like, if we can't think of anything else to write, let's put a line of tape down. Do you know who the TV writer that came up with that first was? MacGuffin. Well, we think alike. And I was going to say Francis P. MacGuffin. But then you

ruined it. Or made it better. I'm reading your mind. I say ruined it. I'm joking. They agreed to keep their distance from one another, which is the cops just literally saying, we don't want to deal with either one of you. Stay away from each other. As a parent, I know what mistake they made. They didn't take the cup. They should have taken the cup.

Take the cup away. You take the cup away. Not nobody gets the cup. Not nobody gets the cup. If you can stay apart, then we'll give you back your glass cup. Yeah. Not long after that, police were sent back to the McGuffey home, believe it or not. Really?

That seems odd. This is now taking a left turn. We're good, right, guys? Yeah, you guys good? Yeah. We won't need to see you again tonight. The two of you are fine? Yeah, we're good.

Okay. All right. I'm going to stay away from him. Don't drink his milk. I'm going to stay away from him. Watch me put the stick down. Okay. I'm going to stay away from him. Don't drink his milk. I'm going to stay away from him. Watch me put the stick down. Okay. I'm going to stay away from him.

This time, McGuffey's roommate. This is when the cops come back a second time. Does it have a time on that one? No. Okay. McGuffey's roommate said not long after. What would you say? 3.30?

Yeah. Definitely. So interior McGuffey apartment moments later. Yeah. Okay. This time, McGuffey's roommate had a big cut over his left eyebrow. Oh, no. That's a cut that only a glass cup can make.

I know. The roommate said, why have they not identified the roommate? We know who you live with. Yeah. I thought you were holding it back. No. It was John Hamm. That's all we know. Hammer.

The roommate said that after police left, McGuffey came at him with the stick and hit him in the head. To me, that's kind of on the cops. We're good. Are you guys good? We're good. Because you could have taken the glass and the stick. You two, are you going to do exactly what we tell you not to do as soon as we leave? We're good.

I'm saying stay away from each other. I want to make sure that's... Just to be clear. Because your eyes look like you're about to hit each other again. No, I'm not going to hit him at all. So hit him in the head? No, do not hit him in the head. Okay.

You don't understand. We're trying to say we'll leave if you two say... I won't do anything. That's it. You didn't do anything. You drank his milk. I won't do anything. When we leave, that stick...

What are you going to do with that stick? Hit him in the head. No! You don't understand. We're trying to leave here. You need to agree with what we're telling you. You aren't going to... I agree. I'm not going to do anything. Finish this sentence. You didn't do anything.'re trying to leave here. You need to agree with what we're telling you. I agree. I'm not going to do anything.

Finish your sentence. I agree. You didn't do anything. I'm not doing anything. Stop. I agree. Finish your sentence for me. Yes, officer.

I'm going to take this stick and... No! You know what? Let's just get out of here. I'm sure they'll be fine. Let's go. Yeah, they get what we were saying. We're not going to be here later.

We won't be back. I got it. How many more times can they fight today? They're out of milk. Right. They already drank the milk. I had the milk. So, the roommate stated,

this time he had a ruin over his head. He said that McGuffey came at him with a stick and hit him in the head. The roommate stated that it was over the initial argument about drinking the defendant's milk and using his glass cup. It's just a glass. It's not a glass.

I drink your milk. I drink your milk. So apparently that argument about milk hadn't expired. At Julian McCullough. That's wrong. That's wrong. No, I'm not going to fix it. It's at Julian McCullough. At Jules Mack. If you're responding to fix it. It's at Julian McCullough.

If you're responding to that joke, it's at Julian McCullough. The soft spot is the podcast. Yes. So he says it was over the initial argument about drinking the defendant's milk and using his glass cup. I love how specific they are about it. So specific. The roommate said that he was locked out and McGuffey wouldn't come to the door. He declined to prosecute. So the police left.

So imagine this again. Can you get into your house? Okay. This is the second time. Can you get into your house? No, I can't. He locked the door on me. And you got hit in the head?

I got hit on the head. Do you want to press charges? Nope. Do you promise to stay out here? Yeah. You realize that you don't have to be able to see him right now to press charges. I didn't do anything. No, that's not the...

No one said you did anything. No one's saying... We're asking what you're going to do. Are you still mad about the incident with the stick? No. I drank the milk. I'm fine. I feel like...

I think we're good here. Yeah, I think so too. I think this thing... Guys, as long as I can get in the apartment. They give a time stamp for the third time the cops are about to show up at this house. We were way off. Oh, what was it? Police, once again, were summoned back to the McGuffey Abode around 1.45 p.m.

For the third time. For the third time. You were right. It was moments later. I want the cops to have driven all the way back to the station. I know. Yes. 1 p.m.

I'm guessing 1.20. It has to be. And then 1.45. They were on their way back. The dispatcher was like, you guys are going to have to go back to the McGuffey house. No. No. They're like, we did everything we could.

We did everything we could. We trusted them. 1.45. One thing is obvious with these two, by the way, is that it's real love. Because at this point, you don't fight this much if your heart's not in it. Yes. You're not passionate about them. You care about each other.

You just got to get to what the real issue is. You're afraid he's going to leave you. It's okay. Whether it's romantic or friendship, none of it matters. It's just feelings. Guys, I'm looking at your body language, and I can tell there's a lot of love here. Look, you guys are telling the world you're roommates. I didn't do anything. That's fine.

I didn't do anything. No one said you did a goddamn thing. You're bleeding. So I hit him? No. That's what you're doing. You're bleeding. So it was 145. 145 for the third time. Unbelievable. Police again were summoned to the McGuffey abode. The roommate, who we still don't know, said McGuffey kept bothering him.

He's bothering me. He's like, you could have told us that both times. A six and seven-year-old in the backseat of a long car ride. Are these guys calling or are neighbors calling? They're calling. Excuse me, officer. He's bothering me. Don't look at him.

And then you hear McGuffey in the background. I'm not touching you. I'm not touching you. I'm not touching you. He's bothering me. I didn't do anything. Yes. Stop.

The roommate said McGuffey kept bothering him, calling him a vulgar term for female genitalia. Pussy. Why didn't they just say pussy? Or just calling him names. They're going to get so weirdly between glass cups. Derogatory profane names? Yes. Yeah. They can add names to a glass.

Wait, what is it? A slang? A vulgar name for a woman's genitalia. For female genitalia. Do you think that was the line for the roommate? You are rude now. Yeah.

There's only one of those terms that would actually make me hit people with a stick because I can't stand it so much. And it's the T. The T one. I don't even like saying it. What? Twat. I hate that word. Titty? Are boobs genitalia?

No. No, they're not. Oh, I'm dumb. I hate that word. They call it titty? No. Are boobs genitalia? No. Boobs are genitalia. No, they're not. Dan goes, ooh, that's a, oh, I'm dumb. Yeah, no, they are definitely not. But it is a way to get milk. It was a good question. It is a way to get milk for your cup.

That's true. So imagine this, like, walk it back. This started because unknown roommate drank the milk out of a glass cup. Out of McGuffey's glass cup. And then McGuffey grabbed a wooden stick. Threatened him with it. They called the cops then. Right.

That was like, which I meant was a lot of do it then. That was a different time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah? So call him. Call him. I'd like to see you do that. Go ahead.

I haven't done a goddamn thing to you. I haven't done anything. I haven't done anything. You're the one who did something. Calls him way back at 1 o'clock, which feels like a different time in this country. By the way, he called them at 1230. You're right. 1230, they got there at 1.

Standing in an aggressive stance. You're going to stay away from each other in this place in which you both live? Yeah. Yes. Yes. I didn't do anything. I'm just hoping someone put the milk back in the fridge because, I mean, now we're working on two hours.

Nah, it's only 40 minutes at this point. Okay, all right. That's true. Yeah, but then he hits him in the head and he's like, okay, now we're here. You've been hit. You've been locked out of your house. You want to press charges? No.

No. Call him back. So McGuffey called him the bad name. Yes, the genitalius that I pressed. We should press charges. McGuffey was then arrested and taken to jail. Yes! Which I think at this point, the cops are like,

we're not even asking you. We just are tired of coming back here. This is like a, I don't want to drive back to this place. They get another call. Now we got all three of us got to go back. Right. Turns out I'm bothering me. This is what they wrote.

I won't leave you alone. I'm bothering me. McGuffey was arrested, taken to jail. It wasn't immediately clear what happened to the glass cup. Who cares? Nobody cares. This is the dumbest journalist on the planet. Yep.

I think his name's Will Greenlee or something. He writes all these up for this TC. He's like, I'm going to put in all the facts. You guys sort it out. I'm going to ask you guys. How old is Stephen McGuffey? Too much fun leaves marks in life. Living hard, you'll pay the price.

Who is going to get it right? Guess the age. Guess the age. So now, like a McGruff estimate? What do we know about him? We know he has a roommate. We know he likes milk.

He still likes milk. Two guys living together, likes milk, glass cup, has a specific cup. Owns a stick. Vero Beach. See, it's weird with glass cup because you could be like 80-year-old. Yeah. Three-year-old has their special cup. If the twist is that these are toddlers, I will...

Go nuts. Yeah, I will have to be so mad. You don't drink another toddler's milk. And what if that's... They didn't identify it. That could be breast milk. Right. I don't know if, you know, you were breastfeeding in your family.

You specifically. No, in your family. But, like, one time I had my wife's breast milk that she had pumped. Uh-huh. She pumped the breast milk, which it's like, this is liquid gold. Yeah.

And by accident, it was in the middle of the night and I fumbled it and it spilled out onto our carpet and like crane up me, like looking at the sky like, no! And she was like,

there's no crying over Spill. And you said, actually, it's don't cry over Spill. And that's when she hit you with a stick. They didn't say if it was an apartment or house. I'm asking you guys now. How old is Stephen McGuffin? You can either go first,

third, or Tig, which is in the slot between the two of us. I'll go real quick. This is in, where is in the slot between the two of us. Oh, okay. I'll go real quick. Yeah. This is in, where is this? In Florida. Vero Beach. Oh, man.

That doesn't help at all. Doesn't help at all. Okay. All right. I'll go Tig. I'll go Tig. Tig. Okay.

Jason. 46. 46. I think it's. You don't say yet, right? Oh, yeah. That's right. I, when you, I'm going to go with my gut when I first heard his name.

Right. 37. 37 years old. Mm- gut when I first heard his name. Right. 37. 37 years old. I think he's 29. 29 years old. Okay, Randy says. Because he's still drinking. 29.

By the way, none of us think he's like 18 or 19. No. And no one thinks he's elderly. No. Right. And Julian, you said? 37. 37.

And Jason? 46. 46. 29 to 46. We have a range of 17 years. Now, I should come clean now. What? I'm the roommate.

Oh! First time I did that. And you have less of an idea. And I was furious. You get it wrong. You're like 14 years off. Here's the problem. I am a pussy.

So I got so mad. Fair enough. Truth. Stephen McGuffey. Yes. With a wooden stick aggressive stance is 60 years old. Oh, my God. For some reason, they took his mugshot while he was getting a haircut.

Oh, my. Why is he wearing a haircut apron? By the way, from the front, great hair. Yeah. From the back. 60 years old fighting over a glass cup. Now, in my defense, that's exactly the guy I pictured in my head. But in Florida, that's 37.

That could be Florida 37. That's a Florida 37. Let's be honest. That's a Florida 37 as a 60-year-old man. You're right, though, Rand. He has two very distinctive different heads of hair. Yeah. He's got the head of hair that he presents out front.

Yeah. And then what's happening in the back. Yeah. It's like business in the front, hair that he presents out front. And then what's happening in the back? It's like business in the front, foreclosure in the back. They took his mugshot, the first shot, they're like, all right. And then they turn around and then he did. And they're like, oh, you're free to go, sir. You're a different person. We must have got the wrong man.

And of course this will be posted on the Dumb People Town Facebook page. So that everybody can get a good idea. Oh, my goodness. The podcast that you host is. Soft Spot Pod. Please listen to us on it, and Dan will be on it soon at some point. It is really, it's a great podcast about people talking about soft spots in their lives. Like things, music, songs.

What do you go back to when you're feeling stressed out? It reminds you of being in a simpler time, a happier time. Do you know what yours is off the top? One of them, Dan? Yeah, Kraft macaroni and cheese spirals. Oh, Kraft macaroni and cheese. There you go. See, it's a –

Did you say singles or – Spirals. Spirals. Oh, spirals. Okay, so that's something like totally different from – That's a 45-minute conversation. And by the way, this is why I love hosting this show with Dan because we have our things that we, you know, and Dan just immediately comes up with something completely different. Right.

Which is why I love doing this show because it's a melding pot of many different opinions. Thank you guys for listening. And, oh, shit, we've got to get back to work. Dum, dum, dum, dum. Dum, dum, dum, dum. Dum, dum, dum, dum. Dum, dum, dum, dum. Dum, dum, dum, dum. Dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, Hey, and I'm Hampton Young. And we host Suicide Buddies on Starburns Audio. That's right.

It's a podcast about suicide, but not to make light of it. We actually talk about suicidal thoughts, depression, kind of with a sense of levity that Dave and I have with each other. And he's my best friend. Come on. Yeah, we're buddies. Suicide buddies. That's the title.

One of our favorite episodes that we've recorded so far is about this guy, Jan Pataki, who was a Polish aristocrat in the 19th century. And he one of the reasons it's possible that he killed himself is that he thought he was a werewolf. Oh, check out a clip. It also makes me think like we were talking about in the Norway black metal episode, how like just the culture of your surroundings can affect you. Like he's in a castle in poland he's like i mean if you lived in a castle in poland and no one knew anything about anything you might be like i'm a bat i'm probably a bat that's like literally what happened to batman he literally is in his mansion he's like like, you know what? Fuck it. I'm a bat.

I'm a bat. I'm a bat. I'm a bat that helps people. I'm a bat that helps people. I don't know what you want from me. My girlfriend, she's a cat. She's a cat. My girlfriend's a cat.

She steals things. She's a woman who steals things. She's a cat. I'm a bat. I help people. She's a cat. We fight a penguin. My...

Oh, man. Till the tears run down from my eyes, Lord, somebody Ooh, somebody Can anybody find me Somebody to love? Alexa, play hits from Queen.

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