Dumb People Town - Moshe Kasher - Doo Doo Mist

Episode Date: May 30, 2017

This week, Moshe Kasher (Problematic with Moshe Kasher) steals a golf cart and rides it all the way down to Dumb People Town! Moshe talks to the Sklars and Daniel Van Kirk about his new show, Problematic, and what it's like being a CODA. Story #1 is t...

Dan and Fran and Jay will share Tales of folks so unaware They lack in grace and sometimes choose The life they choose will make the news Breaking down each epic fail In Florida there's half-price bail I'm happy to say they Couldn't make this up

So listen to our podcast jam With co-host Armand Dan And Dirk, don't be a jerk. Cause when the music hits the funny hits, we are gonna take you down. Stick around, make a sound, punk it down, it's Dumb People Town. Alright everybody, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town! Population U, you're here. We're queer. Get used to it.

Wait, what? Wait. We can be anything, man. We can be anything we want to be. We're here. You're there. Get used to it. We're here. You're there.

You're queer. We're not used to it yet. But we're getting used to it. We're gonna get... Our guest is used to everything! Because he works things out on his new show on Comedy Central. And it's a fascinating show if you haven't watched it. It's called Problematic.

And his name is Moshe Kasher. Hi, buddy. Hey, it's good to be queer. Oh, yeah. That was from before. You guys were doing that. You wrapped it up. Yeah, I wrapped it all up. You wrapped it up.

Well, here's what I love is that you do such a good job on your show, man, handling so much stuff, hosting. You got to direct traffic at times. You're funny at, you know, in, in, in your moments as you slide things in,

but you got to push the show along. You have so much to do. There's a lot, a lot of plates to spin. Yeah. Can't even say it. Here you get to be. So many plates I've forgotten how to speak.

You're so good at. Yeah. But here you get to just be a guest and do what you do best, which is just snipe the shit out of everything. I love it. It's so good, man. Well, the show is awesome because I feel like it is a very good extension of what you've been doing in your stand-up for the last several years, which a lot of times you take an aggressive liberal angle on something that maybe even pisses the liberals off.

Yes, and talk about it in terms that would extremely offend the people that I'm trying to defend. You like to needle people. It's so wonderful. No, I don't like to. It's not true. I was thinking about this the other day. I was talking to W. Kamau Bell, who also has a show that inflames everyone. Yes, the United Shades of America.

It's a fantastic show. And we both came up in the San Francisco scene. I was going, why didn't I? I was asking myself, why didn't I? Because we, by the way, we inflamed the alt-right. I mean, they are so. No one on the alt-right episode drops tomorrow when we're recording this, but last week when it dropped. So people should go online to commiecentral.com and watch it.

And I have no idea if we further inflamed them or if we squelched the flames and then made the left really angry at us for talking to them. I don't know what happened, but it'll be exciting to travel back in time uv and coulter yeah me and ann coulter kind of go out she's but i don't want to say she's the best i mean i know how do you mean by the way bill just like cool and bill maher loves her and so like and he's someone who just like hates and i bring up bill maher because i feel like you're i remember being a page at cbs when they were still doing uh politically incorrect at comedy central at comedy central but way back in those days there I remember being a page at CBS when they were still doing Politically Incorrect. At Comedy Central. At Comedy Central, but way back in those days, there is a feeling of that in your show.

It's like millennial Politically Incorrect, except that I'm not a millennial. I'm more Bill Maher's age than I am. Yeah. But I dress like I'm young. You dress like you're a kid. Your hats keep getting smaller. Can I? I made this joke when I was doing the roast battle with you.

I was going to say, we've never sat next to each other and had you not roast my hat. I made the joke. But you know what's cool? If his hat was any smaller, it would come with a scoop of ice cream in it at a Dodgers game.

What was cool is that when you did it on the roast battle, there was an audience there to see my hat. Here, it's on this podcast. No one knows what you're talking about. They're going to see

the photo at the end. I'm going to take a fucking photo with you. Don't you try to hide it. Don't get on that photo. Well, here's my theory on why you've developed your style the way you have. And this is the theory. You grew up with deaf parents.

And you spent an entire life... Not like in the Def Jam sense. No, no, no. That's my classic joke. They can't hear. I noticed. So you spent an entire childhood just in many ways being like, you're not hearing me.

I need you to listen to me. You're not hearing me. And so then this is what you're. And you know that we grew up with a good friend of ours, uh, who we went to high school, middle school and high school with who both his parent, two brothers,

both their parents were dead. Randy and Scott Moolman and their parents were very involved in, because we played sports with them, Scott, especially they would come to all the games and we developed like a great relationship with both parents, and I just found that to be, I don't know, as soon as you described that whole scenario to me,

I was like, okay, I completely understand what you grew up with. You want to hear some strange stuff about Scott Mullman and Randy Mullman, and then me and my brother and people like us? So they're called CODAS. Do you know about this? No.

Do you hear about this, Kev? Yeah. Apparently, Kev, they're called CODAs, right? And this is my... Do you hear about this? It's kind of weird. Do you hear about this? It's kind of weird.

So CODAs are children of deaf adults. Wow. Wow. They are like a subcategory. There are conventions at holodomes. There are conventions. Okay. And when they get together...

Now, most... A lot of CODAs are like me and my brother. It's the quietest convention ever because everyone's just mouthing what they're saying and people just can read it. Doesn't, the joke is funny and makes no sense because they're all hearing

and deaf people also make a lot of noise. Right, but they're just so used to it. Deaf people make much more noise. I mean, I've heard this joke, the version of this joke before. This is a point in the show, most of the time, I like to say,

at Sklar Brothers. Oh, Todd. This is problematic. Deaf people are actually louder because they can't self-regulate. By the way,

every deaf person I've ever met in my life, not a joke, an audible farter. Of course. Not even, I mean,

an open audible just, baroop, like, no like, oh, I should go to the other room.

Yeah, like the shofar. Straight up shofar. Everyone is a silent but deadly to that. That's right. Exactly. They don't know. It's not that they don't know that they make noise.

They know that they make noise because they've been told. And you feel the vibrations. But you have to, yeah, feel the vibrations, like CNC Music Factory. That's right. No, Marky Mark, actually. Mark Wahlberg. I don't know if you know the guy, but cool guy. I met him at some comedy shows.

Really? Yeah. Hands in everything. Very humble. He comes to the UCB. He met him at some comedy shows. Really? Yeah. Oh, wow. Hands in everything. Very humble. He comes to the UCB. He does a lot of comedy shows. Really? He'll sometimes drop by the show.

And I want to hear his Coda story. Okay, so anyway. So they fart because they know that it's embarrassing to us, but you have to be trained by society to turn red. Yeah. And they don't have that part. No embarrassment. You can't embarrass people by going, oh, that's embarrassing.

Right. You should know that that's embarrassing. But they have tremendous senses of smell though can't they know that like this is they do know it smells nasty they know it smells that so like they have to know that what we're putting out into the world here is yeah it's gonna cause some it's do-do much unlike network television they have to do this yeah do-do miss that might have to be the name of this show do-do miss okay so so, when they get together, this will blow your mind. When they get together at these conventions, I've never been to one of the conventions, but I did go to one of their dinners once because I was a sign language interpreter for a long time.

And we went to the annual board of interpreters. They had a little separate CODA dinner. And I knew about this, but I'd never seen it in person. These CODAs, they are hearing people. They are like me. They are like you. They speak normally. they are normal when they get together um i should say that codas some codas that are really like coda pride people they don't consider themselves hearing they consider themselves codas

oh wow i mean like a separate classification yes because deafness is a culture not just a yes disability so they are like oh oh, I'm not hearing. I'm a coda. It's kind of like if there was a bunch of trans people that gave birth to homophobes or something. It's like you birth the enemy. It's very interesting. Okay, whatever. What trans people aren't gay?

And if you have some problems with the person that said that trans people are gay. At Sklar Brothers. Wait, no. Why are you doing this to me? I don't know why you guys said that. Wow. We're, by the way, laying out a new season of your show. All of this could be episodes.

All of this is season two, probably. So the dinner, they get up, and this is normal. They get up, and they start, I'm not kidding, talking in deaf talk. No. Yes. People who talk like this will talk in deaf. They get up, and they're like,

okay, everybody, thank you, thank you for coming. These are hearing people. They've adopted it. That 30 seconds earlier were like, hey, what's up? My name's Brian. I'm a CODA. I'm organizing this dinner. And then when they get together, they do this thing.

It's like a deaf talk. It feels comfortable? For them. Not for me. I was sitting there like, I got to get the fuck out of here. This is so- That's your next special. You do it all in CODA talk.

Right. Now that's a deaf comedy. Here's a joke from my early, early act. I used to say my mom's deaf. And even though she's never been able to. I've already ruined the punchline. No, let's just do it. Even though she's never been able to hear my routine.

She's always been very supportive of me as a comedian. In fact, she used to come to my early shows and she would come with a lot of homemade preserves and jellies and marmalades and she would sell them in front of the show and she would give me the proceeds to fund me going to the next, to go on the road and stuff. And in fact, over time

the preserves themselves became kind of famous. You guys heard of Def Comedy Jam? Ah! I saw all coming. And I wanted to see how long it would take to get us there. Alright, well we have stories. I want to hear all of your stories!

Come on, Dan. Could you imagine if you... Check me out! At Skalabro! Do it at Skalabro. Geez, Randy, that was harsh. That was Moshe. You want to do one? Let's do one.

Here we go. I want to say really quick that the Facebook group, we have a Facebook page for Dumb People Town Moshe, and it is- Blowing up. Yes. I mean, people talking about women's hands stuck in toilets, guys going back in for beer while their house is on fire, and obviously- There was a guy who-

The Crown Prince. Is Jan Flato. Jan Flato. Jan Flato. Is a guy who we've we've talked about all the time but just to get our guest up to speed jan flotto went to a casino with a much younger russian friend friend former friend former friend who he put the money in the thing and she pressed the button on the slot machine they which they hit the jackpot a hundred thousand dollars she said i will split this money with you. And then she got a security guard, said, keep him away from me.

And she left with the whole thing. Took it off. Because it comes down to who places the bet. He got flattled. He got flattled. Yeah. So we told the story about him, and we really went deep into who he was. And everyone started going off on who they thought Jan Flato was. And then Jan Flato joined the Facebook page.

Oh, no. And now he's been responding to people's comments about him, and it's one of the most beautiful things. At our live show, we're going to do a live show here in LA on June 8th. We'll read. We're going to read live Facebook responses. You've got to invite Jan Flato. I'd love to.

If he could get himself here. I don't know if he has the money. He didn't get any of that check. Well, you guys got that big money, don't you? Can I make one recommendation, by the way? Yes, of course. Another time about deafness? Yeah.

Just, there is a search. You know how there's the rule of the internet that if there's a thing, there's porn about it? Yes. Oh, I'm sure. I'm just saying. There's probably code of porn. I guarantee it. I mean, maybe code of a deaf porn for sure.

Oh, for sure. And it's really cool. It's a cool activity. If we do our job right, there will be Flotto Porn. Flotto Porn. So thank you to those who joined. Everybody who's joined. It's so cool.

And if you haven't picked it up, we have a lot of new listeners. Everything we do here is just in the name of fun. So everybody who's keeping it fun and light on the page, and even Jan knows that we're joking around, that it's the best way to do it. There's a lot of love behind it. Yeah. So thanks, guys. And when this drops, you'll get more of's a lot of love behind it. Yeah. So thanks, guys. And when this drops, you'll get more of the stories, as with last week.

All right, here we are. This was sent in by Nat Graham. At Nat, not Nat. At N-A-T, N-O-T, G-N-A-T. He sounds like an old Negro League baseball player. Nat, not Nat? Nat Moonlight Graham. Uh-huh.

Nat Moonlight Graham. Nat Moonlight Graham. Okay. This first sentence, this is what the article said. He tried his best, but Charles McMahon couldn't hold it. Okay, that is poetic. Beautiful. That is straight up Flannery O'Connor, but Charles McMahon couldn't hold it. Now, if this were not Dumb People Town, you could assume it was like the opening scene

of Cliffhanger, you know, where as long as he can, he hangs on to that girl until he has to let her go. That's right. But in Dumb People Town, what do you guys think he's trying to hold? He pissed himself. He pissed himself. Somebody else's duck. He couldn't hold it.

Somebody else's duck. Yeah, somebody. I was saying a goldfish in a tank. Try, though, he might. What was it? He tried his best, but Charles McMahon couldn't hold it. Did you say Ed McMahon? Ed McMahon couldn't hold back his laughter.

Yes! Liquor. Because Johnny was so funny. Yes. Yes! Ready for the second sentence? Yeah. So he dropped his pants by the side of the Moravian Avenue in Palmer Township.

I know where this is going. Then he did his business, but it wouldn't be Dumb People Town if he didn't do the very next thing. He then picked it up and threw it. Oh, good. So Palmer Township became Palmer Township. Yeah. Yes.

Yes. Or it became Palm Your Township. Oh, very good. By the way, you said Negro League. I just have to tell you. Yes. Speaking of my show, we did an episode on guns, which you guys said you saw. So good.

So good. Thank you. We went and visited the L.A. and California's only black-owned gun store. And they told us about the organization for black gun owners. It is the National African American Gun Association. National African American Gun Association. Sound it out. National African American Gun Association. National African American Gun Association. Sound it out.

National African American Gun Association. Yeah, sound it out. NAGA. Don't say that. Oh, damn. At Skalar, bro. I went hard A. NAGA, please. All right.

That is crazy. I said to him I go I feel like that's a bad acronym yeah we agree maybe you don't need an acronym people better be watching your show most

because I got to see some of the test runs at UCB I was doing shows after yours and it's so oh it's so good and like

argumentative in a like healthy way hang on Dan a man shit on the side of the road and just threw it okay let's go back to Palm.

Forget about his show. Palm her town shit. Palm her town shit. Quote, you were standing on the side of the road. You pulled your pants down. You picked it up. And you started throwing your fecal matter around, said Northampton County Judge Stephen Baratta. Tell me there's a good reason for this.

This is never a good... That opens the door for what will invariably be a hilarious reason, but not a good reason for this. This is never a good, that opens the door for what will invariably be a hilarious reason, but not a good reason. I like when judges talk to people as though they're about to ground someone. Let's go over what you did, honey. Well, but no, he knows what he's going to do. He now just wants to be entertained. He knows what the sentence is.

He knows what the punishment is going to be. He's like, I want to hear your side. And that's why we do these stories. Charles McMahon, Chuck, or as I like to call him, C-Mac. C-Mac. Chuck it. He says, or Stephen says. That's what he did.

Checked it. Living up to my name, your honor. Yeah, I just threw it. Well, they called me Chuck. What else was I supposed to do? He's spoken like a man who's constantly hiking up his pants. County Judge Steve Beretta says, tell me there's a good reason for this. Charles McMahon says, I didn't want to go in my pants.

Well, that is a good reason. That's a great reason for sitting on the ground. Great reason for going. The next half. Yeah, the throwing. That explains going, not throwing. So, keep going. Because anyone in this room, safe place.

He's a goer and a thrower. Safe going. Has anyone in this room, safe place. He's a goer and a thrower. Safe place. Has anyone in this room shit their pants? Yes. Everybody in this room. Even as an adult. No, I did.

I did in college. Oh, my God. I shit my pants a little recently. Oh, yeah? Recently at a restaurant. We were writing. I didn't even tell you this, Rand. I got there before everyone else, and I was like, I got to go to the bathroom.

And I was peeing, and I farted and shit a little bit. Wait, but you guys are identical twins. Don't you feel it a little bit when he shits his pants? And I was like, I just shit my pants, and then I washed my clothes in the bathroom. No. Because I didn't have anything to do. And then used the hand dry. Then got escorted out of the restaurant?

No, it was fine. I was in the family bathroom, so that was a little... Oh, so you just jumped up on that little father change the diaper thing and changed yourself? Little Care Bear table. Happens all the time, man. Randy! Bring the wipey!

I need a typey. Work it out yourself, Jay! Listen to me. I am at the point now where I can't stop peeing when it's time to put it back in my pants. You don't know when you're done? I know when I'm done. Are you moving up the green mile? I think I know when I'm done, but I'm not done.

So I understand wanting to, look, you don't want to poop your pants. This is practical. Poop on the side of the road. But was he then picking up just to get it away from you? Here we go. I didn't answer the question if I've shit my pants. And I have. Recently, it was when I was listening to all of you guys do comedy cuz you're shit my pants funny I was

not expecting it to go to that compliment so nice at the end it was so nice it really we had a nice up and I like that I came to see you guys and then I also saw you but I shit my you know what? Dan's got a set across town. I got a little more shit in there. I got a clean pair of pants. What's the worst that could happen? His uncle came up and said, hey, these pants aren't going to shit themselves. I got to go see Dan. He pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct.

That's not what makes this fun. The judge then says, as we all did, why did you pick it up? That doesn't make sense. Why did you get your hands dirty? He's talking to him like he's a kid. That's a metaphor too c-max says i don't know it's the first time it ever happened okay so he's saying he's now saying the universe is controlling me i am the first time it ever happened like it's not that's the first time i ever did that right it's the first time it happened to me i like to interpret it as he's saying it's the

first time i've ever pulled like had to go so bad that i pulled down my pants and shit in public right and this apparently is what i do when that happens yeah i didn't know that i needed that to happen in order to know how i would react in this situation what i anticipated was just to shit on the road right and walk away what what ended up happening was an uncontrollable throwing. That's what I want. I want him to have shit, took care of himself, put his pants back on, walked to his, like, look at it, then walked to his door, hand on the door handle, then go. I got to throw that around.

I got to get my hands dirty. I can't control these controllable outbursts. Wait a second. Maybe he, like, literally devolved. Like, he went back three or four stages because monkeys throw their poo. Yeah. I mean, and we're at that point where maybe he just went Neanderthal back a couple of Devolition.

It reminds me of my old stand-up catchphrase. Which was? Well, it wasn't a catchphrase. It was like a catch noise. I would always go, at the end of a thing, I would go, er, er, er. You know? Er, er. No, that was Tim Allen.

No, that was me. Tim Allen. Oh, you did that before, Tim Allen. I would also do a thing when I got confused. I would go, er, er. No, that was Tim Allen. No, that was me. Tim Allen. Oh, you did that before Tim Allen. I would also do a thing when I got confused. I would go, er? Oh.

Yeah. No, that again was Tim Allen. No, that was, I'm going to be supportive. You know what? I'll step in the ring with Tim Allen and we'll see who

the last man standing is. I wouldn't. Are you from the, come on. Canceled, canceled, canceled. I know because of his conservative values. That's right, that's right.

Wait, now you. Do you know what I did when I heard that last man standing was canceled because of his conservative values? Ask our brothers. I know. Wait, now you know what I did when I heard that last man standing was canceled because of his conservative values. I said, wait, let me guess. Randy loves that joke. assist here we go do you want it or what do you want me and brian what do you want to have happen next me and brent weinbach used to do a mash-up of tim the tool man of tool time and Street Fighter 2, Blanca, where it would go dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun- It might be now. We gave that a clear cut. That was a clean cut. You're welcome. Defense attorney Anthony Ryback. So he has enough money to have a defense attorney. Right.

Well, he might have been appointed. One of my favorite movies, Ryback Mountain. I will say that. I will. Oh, it's not about cowboys. It's about Jews. What kind is it? It's a marble rye?

Or is it a pump of nickel? That marble rye got me. Some magical heaven on that Ryback. I wish I could quit it. I wish I knew how to quit, Jew. I can't do it. Defense attorney Anthony Ryback said McMahon had been drinking. No.

Wait a second. McMahon that he had admitted that he had, and I'm going to let you guys guess, how many beers did Charles McMahon admit to having drank before he shit, then threw that shit because he didn't want anyone to know. So admit is that plus five is probably what it really is, right? What he admits, and then we can always add five. Moshe, you are a guest, which means you can decide if you go first or last in this game. I'll go last. What do I win?

I'm not going over? Respect. No, no, you can go over. Just close to it. 13. Okay, 13. Which means 18, but I'll say 13. Okay.

Jason's Clark says 13. Randy's Clark. I think he had 11 beers. 11 beers. Three. Three from Lacer. Lacer at home, make your guess now. The answer is we have someone in this room who is dead on.

Oh! Someone has nailed it. I love it. Let's see. You can go one or two ways. The answer is we have someone in this room who is dead on. Oh! Exciting. Someone has nailed it. I love it. Let's see. You can go one of two ways. One where he's trying to protect his drinking and make himself seem less like a menace to society. Or someone who's trying to blame this bad behavior on the drinking.

He's kind of stuck between. He's inflating the numbers. Right. So Moshe's saying that I'm going to downplay this. Yeah. That's what people do in there. You said what, Randy? I said what Randy I said 11 13 which and you guys are kind of playing off the angle of him being like look I don't know I've never done it

before so maybe he's too much I was too deep I got too deep McMahon admitted that upon the night when he shit himself in through said shit he had consumed three beers. Yeah! Oh, man. Moshe Kach. All right. Problematic with Moshe Kach on Comedy Central. That's the kind of guesswork we do on Problematic.

And he's always right. Three beers is not a lot. Three beers, I can drink three beers. Three beers is a lot. It's three plus five, so it's really eight. It's weird because he's not

in that moment at risk of being arrested for a DWI. No, not at all. He's in court now. No. Way, way. He should have gotten a DWI dumping under the influence. Yes, yes.

At Sklar Brothers. Wait, what? No, that was a great one. I loved it. He said he then tossed the waste. Although it doesn't work. DWI, I mean, driving while impaired. The UI. Dumping while intoxicated? That would be great. he said he then tossed the waste although it doesn't work DWI I mean driving while impaired DUI

dumping while intoxicated that would be great dumping under the influence DUI okay fine Moshe is back on board with the joke he said he then

tossed the waste into the woods I just want him yelling go back from where you came he's a Sondheim fan very cool into the woods yeah

or a tailor anything can happen in the woods shit can get thrown from a drunk this is what the judge said if we would have been sitting in the peanut gallery of this courtroom guys one peanut gallery comedians shit story needs a peanut gallery and by peanut gallery you mean the jury this is what the judge said oh in the woods you were cleaning up after yourself this judge is not this judge is yeah he's trying to bring it he's trying to bring it yeah this is the part that gets us into dumb people town two women driving around at 3 30 p.m on october 14th saw charles

mcmahon reaching near his rear end and pulled over because he looked suspicious that is on them okay if you see someone bending down to take a shit on the street and then reaching back to his rear, drive, just start driving. Whatever happens next is on you. You don't need to see what's next. I hope I've taught my daughters to step on the gas. Just keep going.

That's the plot of the movie Drive. It is. That's what it's about. Keep moving. You guys, you know me. I would even avoid that scenario. You always drive into the skid. You always drive into the skid. You cannot drive into the skid.

What did I see the other day? When we were driving. Jay, you called me this morning. Was it this morning? Yes. He's like, drive for the doctor this morning. Driving to my doctor this morning. This is now 10 in the morning, and I wish I would have taken a picture, but cars were

behind me. It drove so fast. I'm driving down La Cienega. There is a woman, African-Americanican woman kind of heavyset woman standing in the street street side of the car almost getting into her car totally naked 100 percent naked just getting in i don't know she was standing in front of the car she might not have been getting in i doubt she was getting in the car and she held some clothes in her hand where were you i was coming down la cienega, like just below Santa Monica.

I've seen this woman. I'm not kidding. Do you know who I'm talking about? I've seen this woman. Naked in that area. Naked, fat, black woman. I've seen that. You know who I'm talking about?

I think I, I mean, I've seen that scenario. I should say that. In that area? Yes. So this is maybe her deal. But tons of cars just driving by. And what was crazy is the reason why i didn't take a picture is as i was coming upon this site plenty of reasons i was like i'm not a monster i am not a monster

b i'm also i wanted to bring it for the facebook page the other kids often take my phone yeah i'm the other thing i was like honey to my son get your ipod touch and see if you can get a photo of that no but i was like why why would anyone be naked it was so yeah it was so outrageous that it became super normal like in that moment i was like why am i wearing clothes well she wasn't gesticulating wildly she wasn't like doing it she could have had starbucks in her hand i didn't know but i just went drove slowly by her took a look and just kept on driving hello ma'am you just hon You just honked. Yeah, good morning. Good day. Top of the day to you.

But in my mind, I'm glad I kept going. I'm glad I didn't slow down and crane my neck. That isn't your issue. You don't want to get in. So you see someone reaching under their ass to throw shit, you don't do it. They saw him, quote, this is from Assistant District Attorney Tatum Wilson, quote, they saw him reach in his pants and they were afraid he was discarding something illegal. Again.

Now, Tatum Wilson also defended the Anti-Miscegenation Act. I believe so. Classical. He has a seersucker suit on. Is that right? I see. And a bolo tie. Yeah.

He's not really understanding where the law is going these days. It's me. I'm Tatum Mitchum. May I approach the bed? My name is Tatum and. It's me. I'm Tatum Mitchum. May I approach the bed? My name is Tatum, and you shall address me as such. So angry.

You shall address me as such. You don't get involved. People driving by. What's the name of Tatum who? Tatum Wilson. My name is Tatum Wilson, and you shall address me as such. I can't even say all the words that are in my mouth, but you will address me as such. You're like Stephen A. Smith. You will address me as such. I can't even say all the words that are in my mouth, but you will address me as such.

You're like Stephen A. Smith. You will address me as such. Keeping with the musical theme, the two women then went into the woods to see what McMahon had thrown. Who are these women? Wait, they followed the shit? They're shit detectives. They pulled over. Wow.

Talk about Encyclopedia Brown. They're a detectives. They pulled over. Wow. Talk about encyclopedia brown. They're a little super fun. They see him throw something into the woods. He obviously didn't admit to what it was. So then they said, we'll go find out for ourselves. What'd you throw? I saw your hand in your rear end, but what'd you throw? What'd you throw?

Was that a brown bag of money? Don't worry about it. Yo, what'd you throw? Are those magic beans? I'm going in. So what'd you throw in the woods? Don't worry about it. Yo, what'd you throw? Are those magic beans? I'm going in. What'd you throw? But here's my question. In a best case scenario, he's really swimming.

He's planting pine cones. What do they find? And how does that help their night out? We're also describing the worst season of Fargo. Yeah. They went into the woods to see what Charles would bet. There you go. Fargo number two.

So dumb and I'm so mad that Fargo number two. That's so dumb and I'm so mad that I reacted that way. I'm so mad I didn't come up with it. That's how good it is. And you know what? That is the best joke

ever you can make to the deaf community. Fargo. Because it just it plays loudly with the deaf community. Okay,

close up, everybody. Time for Fargo. Everybody farts. Everybody farts. Everybody farts. They went to the woods to see what McMahon had thrown. What are the odds of this? Unfortunately, one of them stepped in it.

I mean, Maude, I think I found what he threw. It's not magic beans. The charging police officer. It's magic corn. It's magic beans. Imagine this scenario. The charging police officer reported that he magic corn. It is magic corn. Imagine this scenario. The charging police officer reported that he smelled the evidence on her shoe. What?

So they call the cops. The cop comes there and then they're like, smell my shoe. Tell me that ain't that guy's shit right over there. God. Why did he hang around? Worst call to get as a cop ever. What is this? The Helm Police Department?

The judge gets back into it and says, you must have eaten something really bad. No, it's just shit. It's just shit, Your Honor. But have you ever

taken a shit and you don't smell it at all? It just kind of sealed itself in and you're like, wow, I did something good for the world. I mean, no.

Just in a minute. You should write an observational joke about that. I must. I mean, what is the deal? Brent Weinbach's book.

Who are the ad wizards? Scentless shit. By the way, our movie about poop, which we did a movie, a documentary about poop, and it's just how people deal with a difficult scenario, subject matter, is going to be, for all of our listeners who are in the New York area, it's going to be the closing night movie for the Lower East Side Film Festival on June 15th. You can get your tickets and come to that. We're going to be there. This is a recent film.

Yeah, it's a film that we did. Really interesting and silly. I'm going to definitely send it to Brent Weinbach. He's in it. He's in it. Showing photos of the poop. Oh, I've seen those photos. They're amazing. Horrifying. The judge says to Charles McMahon, you must have eaten

something really bad, which I would have said. It's just shit, Your Honor. McMahon lamented that he almost made it home. Imagine this, guys. Quote, I was like this,

he told Judge Barada as he waddled around the room like a penguin to demonstrate. I love him. I'm on board with him. Exhibit A. I was like this,

and then I was all like this, and then I was all like. And then he was like, what? His prior criminal record included one misdemeanor. He possessed, this is what he got charged with one other time, an M-80 in New Jersey. That's pretty on brand, right? Yeah, that's good. An M-80 in New Jersey. He drops bombs everywhere he goes.

After reading that, the judge said, so you deal with hazardous materials? The judge has jokes. Whoa. He got jokes. He got jokes.

Wilson said the victim doesn't oppose the plea deal and Judge Baratta acknowledged the plea deal made sense for everyone because no one wants to go to trial and have a jury

hear that story. I'm going to show you guys now a picture as we go out oh my god and we'll post it on the facebook page oh of course like the facebook charles mcmahon is everything you wanted him to be oh my god oh i'm looking at charles mcmahon he is a what do you want me to do what do i do your honor i'm gonna shit myself he looks like if former lions general manager matt millen let himself go. And that's a man who already let himself go. No, he looks like he couldn't become an extra on the Sopranos but wanted to be an extra.

Really bad. Yes. He got rejected. He took a shit that truckers would be like, I can't go near that. It's too much. He walks up to the counter constantly saying, first off, I do not have a receipt. All the time. All the time. All right.

That's it, man. Check out the Facebook page. We'll post that up there. That's one segment down in the books. Problematics host Moshe Kasher is with us on Dumb People Town. We'll be back with more Dumb People Town right after this. Stick around. Make a sound.

There's more Dumb People Town. We're doing a live Dumb People Town. So excited about that. Right here in LA. What date? We're doing it June 8th. That's a great question. Thanks.

At the Starburns Castle in Burbank. Where they do Harmontown Live. It's a great new live venue. The tickets will be available on Eventbrite. We'll post that up on the Facebook page. If you are in LA, please get your tickets. Now we want to try and sell this thing out. Guest to be...

We're out to a couple people right now. They're all great guests. But you know how this format works. It's wonderful to do it live. You did a live version of this show when we did it in Sklybro County before. It was very fun. So fun to do,

so please check that out. That was the one that was like... Half Moon Bay. Yeah. No, was that what it was? Half Moon Bay. I remember it was like that orgy. It was like an orgy

and like a cul-de-sac gated community. At Half Moon Bay. You were good. Mostly great live. That was fun. We got another story? Yes. Sent in by Laura Romeo at LauraROM101.

Laura Rom 101. Rom-com. Wayne County, Ohio. Wayne County Sheriff's deputies arrested a man who broke into a home, stole a golf cart, claimed to be Jesus, and offered sexual favors to officers on Tuesday night. Just like Jesus would have done. Just like Jesus would have done normally, right? What would Jesus do, I ask the most Jew-y man in the room most of the time.

He turns not just the other cheek, but both cheeks. He turns both cheeks. You know, turns them over. In a sexual way. Yeah, you know what I'm saying. Then he taps down his dude. Then he do his beers. Yeah, yeah.

He don't take no doo-doo. You know, that's a different dude. That's McMahon, baby. They don't take no doo-doo. You know, that's a different dude. That's McMahon, baby. I'm Jesus. Then Jesus sticks his lob wedge into the bag, as it were. If you knew what I mean. That is a full night, guys. Yeah.

He broke into a home, stole a golf cart, claimed to be Jesus, and offered sexual favors to officers on Tuesday night, according to Wayne County Sheriff's Department. That's not going to get you off. Wayne County. But, you know, if he's religious enough, he's like, well, I mean, he said, I mean, it's Jesus. I have to do this. He's going to fuck the redemption into me.

Yeah. Look, the sexual favor is like, in his mind, he's like, someone's going to get off tonight. Everybody became black. Right? Jesus is black. The cop is black. Yeah, that's true. Black Jesus.

This is the tale of white Jesus. You mean regular Jesus. Wayne County Sheriff's Captain Doug Hunter said it. This young... He's got to say Doug Hunter. Doug Hunter. What a loser. That's just another show Doug Benson hasn't created yet.

Doug Hunter. Where he has to find out who's carrying... Oh, Doug Dynasty? Doug the Bounty Hunter? That's his special, right? Oh, he's already done that one. Doug the Bounty Hunter, that's good. That's pretty good.

A young man. He created a video game recently called Dig Bounty Hunter, that's good. A young man. He created a video game recently called Dig Doug. Yeah, that's right. How about Must Love Doug? Yeah. Must Love Dugs. All Dugs Go to Heaven. That's his last album.

The Truth About Cats and Dugs. Sure. Which is about Louis Cats. Jonathan Cats or Louis Cats. You know, Boston for a long time was, you know Boston. Yeah. There was this big infrastructural situation going on, the Big Doug. The Big Doug.

Oh, the Big Doug. With that giant thing that's spinning around. It's finally done. It's finally done. Yeah, they were trying to put one huge blunt underneath the city of Boston. And they did a bong, which is a bridge now across the Charles River. Yeah, sure. I know that's not the right river, but fuck it.

I'm going to just do one. I'm just glad he's gotten into music. His band's called Three Doug Nights. Oh, yeah. Okay. A young man. They don't give a name, so I'm going to just do one. I'm just glad he's gotten into music. His band's called Three Doug Nights. Oh, yeah. Okay. A young man, they don't give a name, so I'm going to call him Trent. Trent. Good.

Trent walked into a home. This is how his night started. This is according to the sheriff's captain, Doug Hunter. He walked into a home and discharged a fire extinguisher. Okay. Everybody up. Everybody up. Here we go.

Yes. Does that count as brandishing a firearm? No. Okay. Everybody up. Everybody up. Here we go. Yes. Does that count as brandishing a firearm? No. No. It's the opposite of a firearm. Yeah, it's the opposite of a firearm. He then decided to lay down at the foot of the couple's bed that resided in the home. Like a dog that just-

Like a dog. When you say, you guys, let me ask you, when you say foot of the bed, does that mean at the end of the bed or on the floor at the end of the bed? That's on the floor at the end of the bed. Is that what it is? The foot of the bed is not the end of the bed where your feet are? Foot of the bed is on the floor. Because it's headboard.

Nope. My dog sleeps at the foot of the bed. It means he sleeps at the... In your bed, but at the very... When you say your dog, you mean your wife. Oh, no, no. No, I mean Doug Benson. Oh.

Yeah. Wait. My dog Benson. I need clarity. I thought you were saying on the floor. Doug Benson. It was a black lab, and I named My dog Benson. I need clarity. I thought you were saying on the floor, Randy. Dog Benson. It was a black lab and I named him after Benson. If you had a dog that liked to get high and you named him Dog Benson, I think that would

be an amazing... Wait, you're saying it's on the mattress. I'm not saying it's on the mattress. Randy's saying it's on the floor. It's on the floor. Past the bed. Foot of the bed. Foot of the bed.

Right at the foot of the bed. Moshe? I don't have an opinion. I really don't know. Foot floor. The man decided to lay down at the foot of the couple's bed that resided in the home. One of the homeowners and the intruder then prayed together before Trent left the home. Okay.

That is... How does that work out? That is incredibly... One couple's on board. The other couple's like, God damn it, Donna. Can we go to bed? We're praying over here, Michael. Yeah.

Pray the gay away. You always do that. Pray the gay away. Yeah do that pray the gay away yeah do not offer sexual favors to officers that's all I can say that's what the Lord wants

that didn't even happen yet he's still in the praying he's still in the praying phase praying with the couple that he broke into their house interestingly oh so the guy was really religious he's like who are you

he's like I'm Jesus can I pray with you yes but I mean he's here for a reason Jeff look if Jesus Were going to come How is he going to show up

Yeah Like at a At a farmer's market Like in line with you No he's going to Break into your house Like a thief in the night Right

Lay in your bed Literally Maybe this Jesus Got sick of Santa Claus Doing all the night break-ins And he's like I want a piece of that Once outside the home

Trent So Trent leaves After the group prayer Between Okay nice praying with you. I'm going to go break into another place, okay? Ta-ta. Once outside the home, Trent proceeded to a local business where he stole a golf cart.

A local golf cart business? It doesn't say. I just imagine some guy that owns some sort of shrubbery business that really wanted a golf cart. Or the business itself is so big, the only way he can get around is via golf cart. That also means that... I'm just assuming Trent can't hotwire a golf cart. They left the keys in the golf cart, which is also kind of on them. He's going to take it. Anyone who wouldn't take a golf cart wouldn't take the golf cart.

That's my point, but they were saying who's going to take it. We would. Oh, yeah. Heartbeat. Everyone would. Shortly thereafter. I would take it and park it in the other direction and just walk away. Just to make people wonder.

Just so they were like, did I do it this way? That's mischief. I like take it and park it in the other direction and just walk away. Just to make people wonder. Yeah. Just so they were like, did I do it this way? That's mischief. I like it. It's criminal mischief. When I was at Burning Man one year, somebody left some- It's a true story. Somebody left the keys in a port-a-potty pumper and we stole the port-a-potty pumper and drove

it around Burning Man just like causing mayhem. How fun was that? It was really fun. Were you the funniest person at Burning Man? I mean, I know you love Burning Man. A lot of funny a lot of funny people there used to be a lot more funny people of running what happened got corporate bro i mean in a way yes like but it did start with very funny people some of the early progenitors or is that a word of burning man where like some of the funniest people ever in fact they're the people that created like the idea of you know a billboard

graffiti where you read you know you do the art that looks like it idea of you know billboard graffiti where you read you know you do the art that looks like it was the original artwork of the billboard but it's subverted message yeah those are funny funny yeah I mean now they've got the Doritos anti-establishment tent yeah it's just that's not fun yeah did you guys wear yourself out or did somebody come catch up to you and be like you got to stop give this back we wore ourselves out yeah that's just a very parked in just reparked it and walked away. You put it back, or you put it in a new place.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We just left it where it was. Yeah. And you said, take that, Burning Man. I mean, it's a victimless crime, because eventually- Everything in Burning Man is a victimless crime. Well, except for when they throw people into the fire. Yes.

That is true. When they burn witches, that is not- Does that go on up there for you? No, but people have run in and killed themselves. No, no, no. Actually, one time. Did you see it? No, I didn't see it.

One time there was a guy at this tent called Hebe Jebe's. This big like hippie dippy like healing. It's all hippie dippy. But no, this is like they're the epicenter. A guy hung himself. And no one knew for like 12 hours they thought he was doing a bit yeah

they thought he was doing like a performance art bit and they just let him like stay there for hours and hours looking at him like wow yeah wow

Lee's is really committing he's really at peace with himself he's dead nope he's dead you could have saved him about 11 hours ago yeah no

that guy just took him what am I going to save people from their cells at Burning Man 11 hours and 52 minutes. Anything goes here, man. No, not that. You just want to kill yourself.

Well, shortly thereafter, back to Trent and his golf cart. You think I want to kill his buzz? Deputies pulled the man and the golf cart over, as though you could only do one at a time. The man identified himself as Jesus and God. He's hitting both. Well, Jesus is God. Yes. For a lot of people, he is.

Jesus is God. For a lot of people who aren't the three of us, he is. The Holy Trinity. He then threatened to kill officers claiming he had no choice

and that it was to show them that he loved them. Okay. By the way, that is, and a lot of people say, what is Jesus really like? Jesus basically rules

with an iron fist and a velvet glove. He said, I will kill your ass because I love you. Well, Trent Jesus, for sure trent jesus is like i'm about to kill some ass because that's who i am yeah there's another trend that's i'm about to fuck you like an animal that's right oh yeah resna which my wife one time said she was going out on a date with a guy that she had met at a wedding you know your, everybody's dressed nice. Your wife dates people?

Yeah. That's very over my head. When she was like 20. And the guy came for the date later, or a couple days later, and he pulled up to the house with that song, I Wanna Fuck You Like an Animal,

blasting out of his car when he came to pick her up. That's deal breaker. She walked out of the house. Ordeal sealer. Ordeal sealer. Ordeal sealer, if that's what you want. I don't know your wife, honestly. No, no, no, that's a deal breaker.

It was a breaker. Seems like a breaker. He'll be a breaker. When the killing threat, even though it was out of love, didn't go well, then Trent offered sexual favors to the deputies,

who, according to Sheriff Doug Hunter, quote, just were not interested in having that type of relationship with the man. That is the most diplomatic. Doug Hunter, quote, just were not interested in having that type of relationship with the man. That is the most diplomatic. Doug Hunter is like, if I could just for a second, I'd like to note that the, although respectful of the guy's request, the officers involved did not want to have that type of,

they were friend zoning Trent. Your Honor, if I may say, Trent was not hot, if you will. I mean, if Trent had looked a little bit more like Jesus, then we maybe would be in business. I mean, I'm Officer Hunter. I like a thicker lady, and Trent was a thin man. He's a thin man. So that's not my thing. For me, personally? Yeah. I was not interested in that

kind of shit. We're in a different part of the checkerboard. A thick man, and now we're kind of in the area. Okay, now I'm more like, hmm, I do like thick. I don't like thick, but I can make some exceptions. I do like thick, and a hole is a hole, so here we go. Okay. Okay.

I'm Officer Hunter. You've changed this guy to being someone who now drives a fan boat on the bayou. Oh, I would do that in a heartbeat. Especially with Doug Hunter. Well, Jesus Trent was then taken to the hospital for a mental evaluation, as one does. Okay, sure. Hunter says the- Seems a little excessive.

Doug Hunter says the man, who provided deputies with a variety of names, faces a handful of charges for entering the home, stealing a golf cart, and rummaging through a vehicle. Didn't know that was a crime. Didn't even know that was a thing. Doug Hunter, you rummaging? Your ass is gone, motherfucker. You better not be rummaging. Hey, man, what are you in for?

I murdered someone. I'm up on a rummaging challenge. Felony rummaging. I'm on a rummaging challenge. My third strike, dog. I started leafing. Flipping through. Flipping through.

Is that tattoo on your back? Is that your two uncles? No man That's the best rummages of all time That's American Pickers Right there motherfucker Hey man Leapin'

Lookin' through And now I'm all Yeah man You know who's gonna lead the rummages Criminal Flippin' Hunter Oh Browsin'

Oh yeah I got You know Browsin' Misdemeanor Browsin' Dude I got They got They got me on six weeks for perusing. They're getting tougher, man.

They're getting tougher. Hunter also warns people to lock their car and home doors to prevent incidents like this. Seems easy enough, right, guys? Okay, here we go. We're going to get out. How old is Jesus Trent? Too much fun leaves marks in life. Living hard, you'll pay the price.

Who is gonna get it right? Guess the age. Guess the age. Okay, Jesus Trent. I hope I get this one exactly right. Do you want to go first or last? You have the board and you're the guest. Oh, man, I'm gonna go first.

How old is Jesus Trent? Jesus Trent is 28 years old. 28 years old. All right, Randy? I think Jesus Trent is 39. 39 years old. He's old enough to know better. I think Jesus Trent is the age Jesus was when he died.

33 years old. 28, 33. Did anybody get it exactly right? No one got it exactly right. Although one of you, when you started started out i thought you had it oh man so it would be two for two 20 years old closer that's two for you hey 20 is young 20 is so young that's young for that i love it well he probably has dad issues just like jesus jesus that's right jesus also is working some shit out.

Right. That's right. Where did I come from? All right, that's second story, boys. Second story, down in the books. When we come back after the break, a voicemail from our favorite TSA agent. Because it was just Memorial Day this past weekend when we timed traveling off this next week. We got to talk to our favorite TSA agent.

Because whenever it gets the holidays, people start coming through Midway Airport. He's so lonely. He is. But you know what? I feel like in his loneliness is a little bit of hope. Sure. Wrapped around sadness. More loneliness.

Wrapped around a scallop with some bacon. All right. Moshe Kasher, host of Problematic on Comedy Central. You should check it out if you haven't seen it. You can go to ComedyCentral.com, check it out. Email them. Tweet them. Tell them you want more of this show.

Oh, yeah. Do that. Because this show is a phenomenally great show. And again, if you are a fan of Politically Incorrect, especially the early days of that, I think you will really dig this and where it's going. Also, Natasha Leggero and I, who's my wife, we're going on tour. Oh, nice. This summer, all through July, we are going on tour. Milwaukee, Boston, Miami, New Orleans, Chicago.

All kinds of cool places. New York. Oh, it's going to be so much fun. Philadelphia. Motioncatcher.com. NatashaLazaro.com. The Endless Honeymoon Tour coming. Power couple.

Power couple. Two better comedians you will not see, and you will have a great time. So check it out this summer. Shit Your Pants Funny. Shit Your Pants Funny. We'll be back with more Dumb People Town right after this. Stick around. Make a sound. There's more Dumb People Town right after this? Stick around. Make a sound. There's more Dumb People Town.

Hey, guys. Welcome back to Dumb People Town. Our final segment. Dan, you always bring us home with a great segment. Hey, real quickly, Motion Casher can be followed on Twitter. Yeah, you always bring us home with a great story. Hey, real quickly, Moshe Kasher can be followed on Twitter. Yeah, at Moshe Kasher, or if you're offended by some stuff I've said tonight, of course, at Sklar Brothers.

Wait, no. We'll follow us anyway. M-O-S-H-E-K-A-S-H-E-R. That's right. And follow Daniel Van Kirk as well. Yes, at Daniel Van Kirk. Thanks, guys. Alright, sent in by Robert Smirkansky. S-M Sent in by Robert Smirkansky. S-M-R-E Smirkansky.

At Matted Blubber. Love this dude. Sends in a lot. Big fan of him. Youngstown, Ohio. We're double dipping on Ohio today. The home of Tony Hinchcliffe. Jim Trestle. Listen, I just

watched a documentary about- Youngstown? No. Wait, no. I take it back. Can I undo it? Yeah, undo it. Undo it.

Tony Hinchcliffe's a very funny dude. He's a very funny guy. I love it. We're leaving all this in. Okay, yes. Don't edit that part out. No, we're leaving it in. That's important to me.

Leave it in. That's important to me. Leave it in. Youngstown police have charged a boardman man who police say kept taking off his pants as they were questioning him. Okay. Sir. Sir. So this is the pants off episode. Sir. To be fair, the only question was, will you take your pants off?

I just imagine the sound of his belt buckle opening up. Sir. Sir. Sir. Sir. Sir. Put your pants, sir, sir, sir. Put your hands behind you. I'm good. I'm good.

Take your pants off. Hold on one sec. What about this? No, sir. Sir. Pull them right back up, sir. Please don't. No hands.

No. No. Sir. Stand up and pull them back up. Pull them back up. Pull them back up. Sir. Sir.

Sir. If you weren't white, you would be in a lot of physical violence right now, sir. Sir. Sir. Sir. Sir. Look at how white this is. No, sir. Sir. a lot of physical violence right now. Sir. Look at how white this is. No, sir.

Sir. Sir. Sir. Sir. Put him back up. I'll put him back up. What did you want? Sir.

Wait, no, you pull him down again? Okay. Ma'am. Ma'am. Ma'am. You guys are mean. What did you want now? Sir.

Sir. Sir. Pull him back up. Get him right up. Pull him right back up. They're up. What do you guys want? Sir.

Sir. Sir. Here, will you help me take them? Wait, hold on. Hold on. I'm taking my shoes off. Hold on. Could you pull them down again?

Is that a crown? Sire. Sire. Sire. Sire. Pull them right back up, sire. I cut it myself. Sir.

Sir. Sir. Pull them right back up. We don't need to see that. Steven. Wait, is that a 13 tattooed right next to your dick? Sir. Sir.

Sir. Steven Zurcher, 28 years old, was charged with disorderly conduct Thursday morning after officers say they found him fighting with a man later identified as his uncle. We've got an uncle fight. Any good dumb people town. Because your uncle is close enough to you that he doesn't love you as much as a parent. And he's sick of you talking to his sister like that. And he feels like he can lay the hammer.

He can lay the hammer and die. It's like, okay, parents aren't going to do it. I'm going to walk in with a little less consequences because he could just walk away. Yeah. Uncle fight starts with you leaving the house and him yelling at you before you're out of the front yard. The uncle is usually the guy who fucks over a recruit in the NCAA. The uncle is the guy who took the money from the thing to get you.

Did you see that boxing thing recently? The sucker punch? No. What? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I heard about it. And I think that was an uncle. So, yeah.

So, an uncle of a fighter went in the ring and punched the other fighter. What? After the match was over with. That is straight up uncle baby put it on the facebook page it's so good

uncles be fighting it's terrible it's assault but it's a fight can we call that uncleing that's straight uncleing uncle punch

you got uncle baby this guy was fighting with his uncle after police broke up the fight at Indianola Avenue and Cooper Street add that to the

dumb people town walking tour yes it is one of the officers said that Zucker walking tour. Yes, it is. One of the officers said that Zucker told him that he wanted... This is great. Zucker, this is our pants friend, or no pants friend at the given moments. He then went up to a police officer and told the officer, I would like to talk to you, quote, as a man.

Okay. Well, I don't know that you are a man. Well, here you go. Check this out. Sir, sir, sir, up with the pants. Can I talk that you are a man well here you go sir sir sir up with the pants i talk to you as a man every cop every cop is like uh you know what said you put it like that yeah i'll talk to you as a man let me just remove my belt and gun right anytime a suspect calls an officer over i know anytime a suspect calls an officer over, wow.

Anytime watching the uncle punch the guy. Oh, missed both times. No, Jason found us the video. You gotta watch it again. We'll post it up

on the site. Andre Durrell. But anytime a suspect calls an officer over, that is never gonna work out well. His, whatever plan is in his brain

is not gonna come out the right way. It's like when we say when the cops show up and the suspect is talking to them before they've said anything. I did not do any right way. It's like when we say when the cops show up and the suspect is talking to them before they've said anything. I did not do any of this. That's how you know.

I did not hit her in the back of the head with way too many details. We're here on a totally different call. We got a noise violation. Oh, okay. Cool. So he's this guy I talk to as a man. Oh my God, have you guys seen

Mommy Dead and Dearest, by the way? I started to watch a little bit of it. It isi oi oi i started watching that the other night oh my god it is so intense it's an hbo documentary speaking of like how to talk to the cops but it's uh anytime you get a documentary where there are like not like, it is so real. It is, like, too real. What's it called? It's called Mommy, Dad, and Dearest. A mother abused her daughter. Don't give anything away. You shouldn't even give anything. It's just, like, if you like true crime and truly disturbing stuff, Auga. Yeah.

Okay. This will test your limits of what you love. Yeah, what did you think about the girl? I thought she was kind of hot in the end, actually. Hey, don't give this shit away. Hey. Well, what do you mean? What did you think about the girl i thought she was kind of hot in the end actually hey don't give this shit away hey well what do you mean what did you think about her you guys we're good there's no spoilers that have happened spoilers i kind of believed her like oh 100 i kind of oh yeah i kind of was like victim victim a little bit that's not a spoiler no how could it be i'm just telling you my feeling in summation after watching this.

No, don't you want to see how she got there? Do you know Tom Green? Tom Green, one of his famous pranks is driving by people in line for the Sixth Sense with a bullhorn going, he's dead the whole time. That's Bruce Willis. He's dead the whole time. Spoiler alert for anybody who hasn't seen him since he's a 20-year-old. That is hard. The whole time.

Spoiler alert for anybody who hasn't seen it. It's not 20-year-old. I know. Spoiler alert for no one who's seen, like, for people who haven't seen Tom Green's show. Yeah, right. Yeah, don't get it. Don't get it. God, I like to be surprised by Tom's pranks.

Thanks a lot, Moshe. Way to ruin it. I like to be surprised by 20-year-old pranks. Yeah, thank you. Zucker, after saying, can I talk to you as a man, to the police officer. Oh, can I talk to you just as a man? Do you think to him that meant we each hold a pocket knife? Let's go.

Zucker was already shirtless. Perfect. Yeah. That's how you fight. You don't want to fight with a shirtless man. Then proceeded to remove his cut-off sweatpants. Okay. I'm picturing right now.

He's ready for the strip club. Breakaway. Breakaway. I'm a guy from Daytona Beach. You see that with the crying? Yes. That's the man I'm picturing. Totally.

It's him. Police say Zucker obeyed the officer's order to put his pants back on, but then took them off several more times. Like he's preparing for something. What do you want me to do? I did what you asked me to. I pulled them back up. But then I went ahead and did the next thing.

Here's the great thing, guys. The whole joke we're doing about how this went is really how it went. No, because listen, here's the next sentence. Zucker finally stopped taking his pants off only after the officer finally threatened to arrest him. Which means they kept him. Put him back up. All right, all right. Okay.

Put them, sir. I'm going to cuff you up. Throw on the bracelets. Throw the bracelets on you. The suspect was issued a summons to appear in court. Probably won't sir. I'm going to cuff you up. Throw on the bracelets. Throw the bracelets on you. The suspect was issued a summons to appear in court. Probably won't show. Allegedly. Disorderly conduct citation.

Because of the fight, Zucker's uncle told police he was slammed to the pavement and bitten on the arm during the fight, but police left it up to him to decide if he wants to pursue charges. These cops. The most laissez-faire. Oh, my God. They're like, put him up. Come on.

Eventually, they're like, we'll arrest you. Then they get to the uncle, and they're like, look, if you want to press charges, otherwise, we're happy to come out here and see you guys go at it again next Tuesday. And the uncle's like, I would like to press charges as a man. Yeah.

Can we come over here and press charges as a man? As a man. As a man. That's our three stories, guys. Wow. You went two for two. Yeah. One on the dot. We don't get that very often. One on the dot. That's our three stories, guys. You went two for two. One on the dot.

We don't get that very often. There are people who will congratulate you on Twitter and via Facebook, I guarantee. If you're a fan of people that get questions exactly correct, check out my show, Problematic, and me on tour. He gets everything right. You get everything right. He gets it right. I have Ann Coulter on my show on the All Right episode,

me and Ann Coulter debating, and there's a really tense moment where she asks me to name a specific number, and I get it exactly correct. There you go. Don't give away the number. Just like you did right here.

No spoilers. If you haven't watched it, go back and watch it. Before we get out of here, we did mention that we have this voicemail from Michael Kissick. All the Memorial Day travel. Let's check it out. How's it goingicemail from Michael Kissick. All the Memorial Day travel. Let's check it out.

How's it going, guys? Michael Kissick here. Just took a nap. I worked four doubles in a row because of Memorial Days or whatever. Memorial Day. I know what it's called. Anyway, we got people coming, going on a midway. Thought I'd see maybe the Sklar brothers on a family trip coming down to see the Bean.

One time I dated a girl and I told her, you want to see where the Bean is? She didn't, but it was a nice day. It was a blind date, actually. We met because she was doing a little jumper flight over to Detroit and they cancel those flights all the time on Southwest. And so I pulled her to the side and I said, hey, you don't't got anything in your bag but would you like a Michael Kisik in your heart that counts as a date to me and then I made the bean comment and got suspended anywho uh just wanted to see what you guys are up to how the holiday weekend is we got them coming and going down here at Midway you know I don't know if you guys know this they're taking out the McDonald's

yeah they're taking McDonald's out and they're taking out a whole bunch of other stuff. So next time you guys come through, no pot belly, no McDonald's, but I'll still be here. And maybe, you know, we can go. You guys are married. You can give me the tips on the single ladies. All right. Kiss it out. If you want to kiss it in your heart, give me a call back.

Nope, I'm off. I'm off. Yeah. Okay. All right. All right. Sad with a little bit of happiness in there no it's more sad than happy i think you got you never fly through midway he wants you to i now will never fly through midway okay i just want to pat down turns into a hug what's funny about midway is it's chicago right? Which is kind of the middle of the way. That and other great comedy. Problematic.

Oh, hair. All right, don't come see me. Actually, I recommend you don't come. He is performing at a number of comedy clubs and CODA conventions all up and down the eastern city. What's the deal with hearing people? Hearing people be like this, but deaf people be like I can't hear you.

You know what I'm saying? I see how happy I am that the rest of us in this room never even tried to tread into those waters. That was a smart

choice. You have the right. For years of living with it you have the right. You've earned that right. I am CODA.

Do not hear me roar. On that note. On that note. He's Moshe Kasha we're the Skly Brothers. He's Dan Van Kirk. This has been Dumb People Town. Now you note. On that note. He's Moshe Kasher with us, Clyde Brothers. He's Dan Van Kirk.

This has been Dumb People Town. Now you can get back to work.