Dumb People Town - Natasha Leggero & Moshe Kasher - The Sketti Defense

Episode Date: April 17, 2018

This week, Natasha Leggero & Moshe Kasher (The Honeymoon Special, Another Period) join the Sklars and Daniel Van Kirk in Dumb People Town! In Story #1, a man in a bull costume attempts to burn down a house with ragu. In Story #2, an adult man challenges a 15-year-old boy to a nunchucks fight. In Story #3, a McDonalds employee is fired for putting his mixtape into happy meals instead of the toy. And finally, a voicemail from Mark Wahlberg.

It's a good show! Couldn't make this up So listen to our podcast jam With co-host Armand Dan Man, jerk, don't be a jerk Cause when the music gets the funny hits We are gonna take you down Stick around, make a sound Tunker Down is Dumb People Town Hey townies, welcome to another episode of

Dumb People Town Population you. Population two. Yes. We've got two people on the show. They are both hilarious comedians, and they are friends of ours, and they have a new comedy special on Netflix. And a new baby.

And we're friends of each other. You guys are friends of each other. And we're dumb. Yes. Natasha Leggero. And Moshe Kasher. Moshe Kasher. Thank you for joining us.

You guys, I'm so happy to have you both on this show together. Moshe, you've done this show. I've done this show. I've done this show. You know how this goes. I do. Natasha, and we'll get to your special later because it is kick-ass coming out on Netflix today. Today! This thing drops.

It be dropping today. It be dropping today. If you're in a town and you're a dumb person, you're going to love our special. No, here's what you're going to do. You're going to stream it and then you're going to give it five freaking stars and you're going to tell everyone to go watch it because it's really one of the most interesting ways to present comedy. We'll get to stream it, and then you're going to give it five freaking stars, and you're going to tell everyone to go watch it, because it's really one of the most interesting ways to present comedy. We'll get to that later, Jay.

There's a whole dumb world out there that is for our taking, and the fact that we have both these guys here, we don't want to waste our time. Right. The world is getting dumber. We know that. Or dumb is fighting smart, and dumb's just got dumb strength. Okay. Dumb is winning.

I would argue that we're all becoming dumb. We're getting dumber. You think we're all becoming dumb. We're getting dumber. We're all becoming dumb. Of course. We were at a yoga class yesterday and like every, the

woman checking us in like couldn't, was like working on the app, trying to figure out how we could all sign in from her phone and it took like 15

minutes. And you had to just go through a bunch of her junk emails. And we're like at a yoga class trying to like relax and get away from our phone.

So it's like this distraction is everywhere permeating our lives. So the phone makes you smarter by giving you more facts but yoga class trying to like relax and get away from our phones so it's like this distraction is everywhere permeating our lives so the phone makes you smarter by giving you more facts but dumber by

because we don't know how to use it you just it's not coming for you if we would have just signed in on a piece of paper then we could have just like got on with the class

you would have been yogi the early yogis would have you just sign in on a piece of paper they first invented yoga I like that he makes her laugh and if it was Bikram he'd

sexually harass him Dan how are you that's called wild wild country Bikram was also

really into Rolls Royces oh yes he was he flirted with me once did Bikram flirt with you

well kind of where when at his class he was what did he say to you he was just like how are you doing or I don't know whoa whoa whoa don't do the voice with you? Well, kind of, yeah. Where? When? In his class. He was, what did he say to you? He was just like, how are you doing?

I don't know. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't do the voice. Do the voice. Do the voice. Do the voice. Do that voice. Even though he has a strong accent,

he was like, how are you doing? By the way, your Indian accent was sounding like Bela Lugosi. How are you doing? I'm from Bengal.

Wasn't that last time Moshe was in the town? He kept talking like a person who was deaf and we kept being like, we cannot make those jokes. We're like, my parents were deaf, so this is how we do this. I want you to suck my blood. That was Bikram, right?

No, Bikram was like, I want you to suck my blood. Sign in on my feed. Oh, Bikram. Come on, Daniel. We got stories. We got stories. Let's do it. You got a story? Do we got stories? Let's do one.

This story was sent in so many, I'm guessing somewhere around 100 townies. So what happens is, Natasha, we get stories sent to us by our awesome fans, and then Dan breaks them down. I've heard the show. Sent in by. Every week, we have a ritual. We sit around. We take our newborn baby and sit around our fire.

The old time radio. And we crank up the old time radio. We sit around, we take our newborn baby and sit around our fire. The old time radio. And we crank up the old time radio. We plug in our iPod, which we like to keep in old school. Okay. And we crank up DPT.

It's a little fireside chat. Well, this was sent in by Forever the Sickest Tweets, which is, I mean, you're confident in yourself. It's pretty dope.

It's like the Grand Canyon. It's pretty deaf. At very stupid man. Very underscore stupid underscore man. Underscores in general. I know. Why bother? I can't underscore that enough.

Four underscore and seven years ago today. Four underscore and... I love it. I'm going to read you guys the headline. Yes. Florida duo, one in a bull costume, tried to burn down a home with ragu. Okay, now as a duo, Jason and I, I take offense to that.

Why are they suddenly considered a duo? And why do we have the brand of the pasta sauce? That better be accurate or you're getting paid for it. Very funny though, of all the information she's like, why brand it? Yeah, a little too on the nose.

It's like you're getting free advertising there, Ragu. A Florida man received an alert on his phone last week at work. Intruders had covered a surveillance camera at his home with a towel. So he called 911. Behind the towel, a bizarre vengeance-based crime. Behind the towel, by the way, was a name for this stand-up special for your coming up. Behind the Towel. It's funny.

It's actually also the name of the documentary about Bikram's sexual harassment. Behind the Towel. Behind the Towel. A bizarre vengeance-based crime unfolded involving a bull onesie and an arson attempt using a pot of boiling spaghetti sauce. Ragu! Yes. And what sauce was that? Derek Irving and John Silva, arrested on March 13th by Volusia?

Volusia? How do you say it, guys? I don't know. I'm almost shocked that they're not brothers. Like, this does seem like a dumb brother hatching scheme. Why are they a duo? I don't know. They're both doing this.

They broke into a home. They're like Bonnie and Clyde. Sorry, they're in a one-piece bull costume. Yes. You automatically become a duo when you're in a bull costume. But also, that sounds like a practical joke. Yes. And who was like...

It's pronounced Sal Volcano. Let's go get this guy. And somebody was like, let me get my bull onesie on. Yeah. The bull onesie makes it fun. Maybe he was, he had to already be wearing the bull onesie. Yeah. Like they were drunk.

You guys, a bull onesie isn't a thing. Why not? Yeah, it is. A bull onesie? A onesie that's a bull. You call it a onesie? Yeah. A onesie is like for a baby.

Oh, you mean like a bull costume. No, but I think it's an adult. No, I think it's an adult size onesie. You know, they have onesies where it's like a tiger and onesies where it's like a bear? Yes. It's a onesie that is a bull. Why are they both in it? No, only one of them's in it.

The other one's just along for the show. I gotcha. He's a matador. He's luring him into the house. So that comes back to the question, why are they a duo? If they're both not in the costume, I don't think they qualify

as a duo. Derek Irving and Shane Silva rested on March 13th, broke into the home of a man Irving had previously dated to steal a flat screen television and other items.

So this is a gay crime. I get it. This is classic gay community stuff. I mean, it happens in every gay community around the world. Right. Somebody's in a bull costume, somebody's in a matador costume. I'm surprised he happens in every gay community around the world. Right.

Somebody's in a bull costume, somebody's in a madder costume. I'm surprised he wasn't even in a bear costume. Well, it sounds to me the bull costume onesie, it's more like baby stuff. Like he's dressed as a baby.

So he likes to be infantilized. Oh, that's what you think? Oh, like it's a little That's part of the thing. Well, if one person is in a onesie and Who wants to go burn down a house?

Who's a good boy? I mean, it's certainly not burning down a house. Clothing. No, it's not. Okay, let me ask you this. What, and Natasha, you have fantastic fashion sense. What would you wear to burn down a house? Great question.

Definitely a mask. You're like an avocado mask? No, like a ski mask. Okay. Duh, right? Yeah. The reason, Natasha, that you're talking like this. In all black.

The reason you're talking like this and making these choices is straight up heterosexual cis-normative privilege. Like, straight up. This is what they're doing. This is the way that the queer community does arson. It's the way. It's with a bull costume. It's with spaghetti sauce.

That's what they do. And they have fought too long and too hard for you to tell them how they should do their fires. Don't tell them how to burn down a house. This is their Italian stone wall. They set a pot of spaghetti sauce on the stove with a washcloth on the burner in hopes of starting a fire to cover up the burglary and this was all for like a 300 tv it seems so wow see this is what happens in dumb people town where you're like what so many times we're like why would this person do that in order to achieve this what state is this florida is that equality that we're able to sit here and be like oh the

gay man is dumb also in this moment. Yes. We can just give him the shit that he deserves. That's the dumbest thing ever. Well, I don't think this crime is about him being gay. It isn't, but at the same time, we're not handling it with kid gloves. It's not about him being gay at all. It's about being dumb.

It's about a breakup and a TV that you wanted and a bowl onesie you were waiting to wear. And a horrible plan. Do they have the brand of the TV? Like, maybe it's worth five grand. Well, I'm just thinking like... If they said Ragu,

why didn't they say Panasonic? It's a Ragu TV. That's what they were referencing. I was wondering if it was worth it. It's probably a Westinghouse

or a Sanyo. Because TVs can like, you know, fluctuate in price. Sure. From now with the new trade tariffs, they're going to go...

Wow. Here we go. Dumb People Town does not need to be getting planned out okay someone weaponized our podcast quote

he was trying to this is what the victim asked he was trying to make it look like I left the stove on but who gets up at 2am

and fixes Skeddy Skeddy he didn't okay the fact that he said Skeddy now I understand why burn. Okay. The fact that he said skeddy, I might burn that fucking house down.

Burn him to the ground. I thought children said that. Yeah. They don't. They don't even. I've never heard of an adult saying that. I'm now not believing he's gay. I don't think I can imagine.

The victim? A gay man saying skeddy. You know? Skeddy. I feel like he. Peskeddy? Peskeddy? He asked who gets up at 2am.m. and fixes skeddy.

How does he spell skeddy? Well, in the paper, it's S-K-E-T-T-I. Now, I listened to a news report, and to me, it sounded like he said paskeddy. Yeah. Interesting. But they were paskeddy. That would be so humiliating to write P-S-K-E-T-T-I. You're saying humiliating for the reporter. Yeah. Biscotti.

It's also probably not their first day writing articles while people's actually... No, but that is a hard word. That is a hard one. Yeah, it's scatty. So, scatty. This was asked by the victim who had left for work at 2 that morning. To which I say, if you're getting up for work at 2, then you are a person who would make spaghetti. You know who this guy is making his lunch for later that day?

What's his job? They don't say. When officers responding to the 7 a.m. 911 call. Okay, so who calls 911? It's a 1-1 kitty. Who calls emergency? Who calls emergency services? A neen or 11.

7 a.m., to me, that denotes the possible bull onesie. These guys had partied all night. This is meth. This is so meth. See, at 7 a.m., a 911 car call pulled in. Silva and Irving were near the home when a car got to the victim's house. So they're watching it burn. Yeah, they want to hang around and watch the car.

They found an empty jar of ragu spaghetti sauce in the duo's getaway car. That's what it is. You've got to ditch that evidence, guys. That's what you call a smoking pot. Smoking jar. Smoking jar. I thought meth just made you want to clean and kiss people.

No, if you do it, kiss people? Or like, it doesn't mean... That's Molly. I think that's Molly. That's Molly. You know what? I'm really high on meth. I just want to find a soulmate. There were all those make-out scenes in Breaking Bad.

I've never done it. You've never done meth? No. Has anybody here done it? No. I've never done it. Have you done it? I have, yeah.

And how was it? It's not for me. It makes your head scratch, right? Head scratch? No. Like you. No, I don't know. Maybe.

It makes you think a lot, and you can do stuff. Yeah. Okay. But then if you do it long enough, what happens is you go into meth-induced psychosis, and you start having crazy, all these violent, not to make this dark, but all these super mega awful horrible murder-type crimes you hear about is all at the tail end of a like two week meth run where reality starts to bend. Yeah.

Right. You lose your ability. Somebody told me once, don't do drugs that make you forget you did a drug. Only do drugs where you can be like, I did. I did drugs. That's why I feel this way. When people freak out on psychedelics, The main technique for talking them down, if you're like one of these people that helps people come down,

is to just say, you're on a drug. This is temporary. Because the main illusion that you're under is that you're on a drug. Is that I'll never come out of it. I'm never coming out of it. I forgot I'm on a drug. This is reality. Yeah.

And you just drill it. You're on a drug. You're on a drug. You're fine. This will end. You're on a drug. You're just dumping ragu sauce all over. You're in a pool once. For reasons, ragu sauce all over. You're in a bull onesie.

For reasons, for reasons, this is literally the next sentence. For reasons unknown, Irving wore a bull onesie during the incident, which took place in Deland, Florida, north of Orlando. He also had a pacifier and diapers on. He had a rattle in his asshole. A deputy investigating the incident entered the house turned off the pot of spaghetti or scatty sauce and extinguished the smoking washcloth it was apparent the spaghetti sauce was retrieved from the open kitchen cabinets so close the

cabinets guys this isn't fucking six cents poured it into a pot and turned it on high with the wash cloth near the burner according to the sheriff's report. Let me just tell you, this has been a tough year for police morale. Hearing this story is like a real inspiration to the honorable men and women in uniform for doing the hard work of, I couldn't do that, walk into a kitchen, turn the burner off. You never know. Put a little water on top of a smoking water. That's protocol.

Moshe also couldn't close the cabinet. Oh! Now it got personal. It just do that. Moshe also couldn't close the cabinet. Oh! Now it got personal. It just got personal. No, she didn't. Moshe has never closed a drawer or a cabinet. In his life. Ever.

You're an open walk-away guy? Open walk-away. And you didn't know that bothered you until this started happening? Oh, no. I've known for a while. My dad was just staying with us, and he heard me talking about it. She does this in her stand-up. Yeah.

She character assassinates me on stage. Fantastic. My dad came up to me, he's like, you're right, Moshe just went in there to make us tea

and every single drawer and cabinet is open. What is that about, Moshe? He wants us to look like a haunting. Well, it's pretty hard to shut a drawer.

It really is. In his defense, it is super hard to do, you know. It does take that one push with his finger. I believe, in the same way that I believe that this man in a bull outfit was a sort of metaphor for where he was, trying to feel beastial and out of control.

That's right. I believe in the physical metaphor. Sure. So to me, leaving the cabinet open is like, honey, I'm open to you. Leaving the conversation open. I'm open book. Yeah. Come in, you know. know yeah but how does that

explain where you leave your wool socks you can tell him where he leaves his wool socks where does he leave his oh by the bread yeah let's talk about the bread you don't need to do that uh wait i have a question about this article yes how do we know that the the the duo it wasn't just making spaghetti oh because they they said that they just put it in the thing and then left it there. Because it seems to me like they could have been like, we're hungry. He's at work. Let's make some food. And then that happened.

If I'm their lawyer, that is my defense. You just laid out a perfect defense. This arson charge, we can get rid of. That's what they call the classic skitty defense. In addition to the flat screen television, Irving and Silva

also took a window air condition unit. That's a... Why tax yourself with, like, heavy labor? Have you ever tried to lift one of those? Those are the heaviest

things ever. A vacuum and a heater. Oh. Now, they used to date, so I'm just picturing the scene from... $300 worth of technology. I'm just picturing the scene from the shirt. And technology is technology. And technology is like a stretch, to call it that.

Wait, it's also funny to steal an air conditioner and a heater. You could steal neither and they'd cancel each other out. You're good. Right. By the way, and how many people are using heaters in Florida? That's a great question. Irving told deputies that he and Silva broke into the home because he was angry about something related to his past relationship with the victim.

The victim told the station he was bummed, stunned, I read it wrong, literally just straight up read it wrong, stunned because he had helped Irving financially after the breakup. I bought him a bull one thing. What do you mean bull? He's using it against me. The victim says this, quote, it started out as a relationship that lasted about a week. Quote, I've let him use my car for four months. Maybe he's angry about that.

Or maybe he's angry because I gave him $150 to fix his teeth. This dude is mad. Wait, you're evolving in that relationship where you're using the things that they shouldn't be angry about to say maybe he's angry about this. Oh yes, of course. Or maybe he's angry that I wake up every morning and make breakfast and lunch for the kids. If I'm the cop, I go, maybe he's angry about this. Oh yes, of course. Or maybe he's always angry that I wake up every morning and make breakfast

and lunch for the kids. If I'm the cop, maybe he's angry that you're qualifying the relationship as being only one week. This guy doesn't have any right to be upset.

Maybe he's mad that I was loving and caring for a week in his life. Maybe he's really upset about that. Then the victim says this quote.

I don't think he doesn't have any right to be upset. I mean, this is classic. They made a saying about this. You mess with the bull. You gotta get the onesie. Oh, you're gonna with the bull. You're going to get the onesie. Oh, you're going to get the onesie. You're going to get the onesie.

The soft, the plush horns. Quote, this is the last quote from the victim. Quote, I'm from Kentucky. I've never seen anger like that. To which I say, you're gay and from Kentucky and you've never seen anger like that. You should get a book deal. Good quote. I think this is the preface

to Hillbilly Elegy. This is the forward. I'm from Kentucky and I've never seen anger like that. That's what's amazing about the Hillbilly Elegy. The forward is actually backwards.

I'm going to ask you guys this. How old is Derek Irving the man who wore the bowl onesie? I'm going to say 24. 24. Straight out the gates going to say 24. 24. Straight out the gates.

I say 46. 46. My age. Jesus. My age, too. Jesus. Wait, you guys are the same age? Yeah.

You guys do a podcast together? Wait, when was each of your birthdays? It's the same. All right, I'm going to say 33. 33. The age Jesus was when he died. I'm going to say 39. The age Jesus was when he died. I'm going to say 39. 24, 46, 33, 39.

Okay. The man wearing the bull onesie, Derek Irving is to Chance's in-home friends 36 years old. Oh! In between us! We will get out of here on this,

you guys just have to see the photo. Is he in the onesie? No. The dude on the right is the one who did not wear the onesie, but he looks like Wreck-It Ralph's white trash brother. Oh my God.

Wait, so who's the ex-boyfriend? The man on the left. Derek Irving is here. That guy's 36? Yeah. He looks good. He looks 56. 36? Yeah. He looks good. 56. All right.

I was going to say, he looks good. Beth, not even once. Look at that. I mean, look at that pair. I know. I mean, now I get the duo language. And I know you'll see this. Townies, you'll see this photo.

They're obviously holding their hands up being sworn in, but it looks like they're waving to the camera in the saddest way. It also looks like Irving is... They should get a development deal. They look so interesting. They look like the reverse of Robin Big. The guy Irving just looks like he's saying, excuse me. Oh, God.

Excuse me. Alright, story one. Story one. Down in the books, we've got Natasha and Moshe here. We'll hear about their amazing three-part special on Netflix right after the break. It's Dumb People Town. Stay with us. Hey, guys. Welcome back to Dumb People Town.

I want to talk to you guys about this special because I love it. I love anything that feels original and unique, and this does. You guys are two of my favorite comedians, and you teamed up for a three-part special. You guys are a duo. And without the bull onesie. Yeah, we teamed up. We decided to get together to do a special and we did a sham marriage, a long con.

That was to set this Netflix ticket. We got all our friends to send us to Bora Bora. So smart. It's a great setup. We're so excited. It's super cool.

Just like you said, there's so many specials now that it almost feels like you have to have a gimmick, like, I don't know, like being with your twin. Yeah, something dumb. Something stupid like that. So I do 25 minutes or, you know, about a gimmick, like, I don't know, like being with your twin. Yeah, something dumb. Something stupid like that.

So I do 25 minutes, or, you know, about half hour. Moshe does 30, and then together. It's a three episode stand-up comedy. It's one special,

three episodes. And then the third episode is Moshe and I come out together, Sonny and Cher style, do a little performance, and then We just start roasting couples.

make fun of people who come on stage I love that so much it's live relationship counseling that turns into I'm the sheriff forgive me if this reveals any ignorance

but had either one of you done any been professional therapists but who is Cher who is Cher which one is Cher done any like duo

stand up work together with anybody else before this is this the first time you've come on stage I don't really call it duo stand up work I call it more else before this? Is this the first time you've come on stage here? I don't really call it duo stand-up work.

I call it more just like for a couple. But like share the stand-up stage with another person. I mean, me and Brent Weinbach, like my ex, my ex,

Brent Weinbach, before Natasha. Your first wife, yes. I don't share the stage with anyone. No, you don't. Except I made an exception. That's so nice of you.

It's mostly just because I don't want anyone to see how short I am. Because if they come stand next to me, then it's revealed. It's like you don't want that to actually be revealed. Tom Cruise says the same thing. Moshe sat on a chair and I stood. The whole time and you stood, made you stand.

Yeah. Where did you guys record it? At the North Door in Austin, Texas. Nice. Fantastic. It was great. And the special's great. Same audience for all three?

No, we did, as you know, we did two tapings. Right. Yes, all three. It's one show. One show. So you came out, then she came out, then you came out, and then you both came out together. Yeah, it's a show that we have been doing as a tour. That's right.

We actually started it as a tour, not really ever having designs on making it into a special. What was the series on Comedy Central Digital? It was more of a documentary series on Comedy Central's website at first but it was not about the stand up it was really about

the travel and the roasting a little bit and then Netflix approached us and said they wanted to do a special together

and I think you're right there's so many specials out in some way I can't even believe anybody cares about stand up anymore because it's like how many times

can one person stand up and say his or her thoughts for an hour except that then you can also say the same thing about music

how can anyone listen to music anymore or how can I say this how can someone love so many bands and the truth is you have an infinite

space in your heart for art and I think it's I'm excited to see this special I think everyone is going to love it

and it's great that it's streaming because I don't have anything streaming on Netflix well there you go any of my fans who would like to see

my stand up comedy you can see it whenever you want and please see it and give it like five stars I don't think they do that anymore

they don't do reviews stars now it's just about what percentage things match with you. Oh, great. The other thing about the special is it's really both of... Natasha's pregnant, and I'm obviously... Pregnant with great thoughts.

Pregnant with profundity. He's dealing with me. But we're both at this sort of... I think it's kind of cool thematically, this reckoning with the next chapter of our lives. Because we both waited so long to have kids and we're kind of reluctant.

Right. I remember you, I remember talking to you and you were like on the fence like I don't know about motion. No, you were like

I don't know about having kids. No, she was literally on the fence trying to get rid of the baby. Oh wow, that's terrible.

Barbed wire fence was weird. But look, the baby came and you know what's so great is that someday this baby will watch this when it's a grown person.

And be like, fuck you. I can't believe my parents were this crazy. Well, I mean, she's so cute, and I had no idea she was going to be like that, because we were really kind of roasting her while she was growing up. Look, that's the beginning of your kids rebelling against you. You thought you could roast her, and then she came out, and she was so cute that she made you feel bad. Well, that was a joke. rebelling against you you thought you could roast her and then she came out and she was so cute that she made you feel that was a joke in reality a joke that's in the special but it's true was that

right when we were really ramping up for the special uh we we were getting on you know they have those email lists they go like your baby's at this your uh yes they tell you where your baby's at right and it was like right as we really started ramping up the uh we got this email that was like now it's starting to hear your voice in the womb. It's like right when we were doing these like hardcore, like mean jokes about it. Yeah. So anyway. Well,

look, man, I'm so excited for all the great things you guys have, including just being parents. I think that will open you as parents ourselves, that will open you guys up in comedy. And in a way of like, I'm excited to see how both of you deal with it,

deal with it and approach it. And sort of that comes out on stage because I just how both of you deal with it and approach it and sort of that comes out on stage because I just love both of you guys as stand-ups and as people. Do you love our baby? I haven't met the baby, but I'm sure we will. Jerry's still out. I've actually seen you walking around with the baby and it looks pretty damn cute. She's cute. She's cute. Her name's Irene.

No, her name's Amy. Wait, that's my wife's name. We named her after Amy Schumer Oh And your wife Both It's a double It's Amy but it's

Superimposed Amy Amy That's really nice No we named her Jennifer Yeah no it's Jenny Jenny Oh Jenny It's Rachel

Oh wow It's so Jewish What is it Can you say Or you're not gonna say it You can say it I just thought it was funny To say her name was Irene

Her name is Her real name Yeah Her name is Frida. Frida. It's beautiful. Little Frida Coco. I love it.

And she's got a unibrow. Oh, boy. That's so sweet. And while we're in the midst of telling people to go watch stuff and listen to stuff, please go listen to our Audible special, Sklars and Stripes. It's super fun. And you can get a free 30-day trial for Audible and get that thing. Or if you're an Audible user or member, I think you get one free book every month.

And so let this be your selection. And if you get it, you get the comedy album, Sclars and Stripes, the tour tapes for free. Please leave a review. Get it, rate it, review it. It's like podcasts. If you get it and rate it and review it, it does such a wonder for us. And we'd like to someday make it a TV show.

it and do it it does such a wonder for us and we'd like to someday make it a tv show so the more we can have you guys are our core fans who support everything we do the more you guys jump on board the better natasha and i are your core fans yes two of you two guys how we can affect this you guys are just laid out how you can affect i mean it's just one five doesn't matter it's coming from you speaking of scalars and stripes we never told you the name of our special. Which was? The Honeymoon Stand-Up Special. Oh, nice. The Honeymoon Stand-Up Special.

Easy. Love it. Check it out. All right, Daniel, do we have another story? Yep. This was sent in by Aaron Black Sudduth. S-U-D-D-U-T-H. Wow, you guys got other people doing the research?

Yeah. That's nice. I'm an out. They really are dumb. E-R-I-N-W-H-I-T-N-E-Y. Thanks, Aaron, for sending this in. Here we go. Ready?

Yep. A Burnside man was arrested Wednesday after allegedly calling out a 15-year-old juvenile to fight him while he wielded nunchucks. Nunchucks. Nunchucks. Did you call them nunchucks? Yeah, when I was a kid, I thought they were nunchucks and I never let it go. Did you say nunchucks? Nunchucks. Did you call them numchucks? Yeah, when I was a kid, I thought they were numchucks. Nunchucks?

It's in Northern Illinois. That's where I'm from, too. I'm from Rochelle, Illinois. I'm from Rockford. You are? I'm 20 miles south of you. They just started making out. But we definitely called it numchucks. It is numchucks. They make you numb when you get hit by them.

That's right. What are those? Chucks and num nuts. An older man said, fight me, boy, when he saw the num chucks. Yes. Okay. So it's num chucks and it's nun nuts. Yes.

You say, hey, nun nuts. You can. I wouldn't have fought you on that. When I was a boy, I did many stupid things when I was a boy. But when I was- Great title to a book. The worst thing that I did, the dumbest thing that I did was I was there was some girl that we were all like stealing money from tired of being abused by me and all of

my friends literally this is a true story she came out of her house with a shotgun pointed it at us and I in my eternal gangster wisdom ran toward her. Whoa! As if, how dare you pull... A shotgun on me. I mean, seconds and inches. She, luckily, was afraid enough and not willing to murder enough that she ran back inside the house. And how much of a badass did you feel?

It took me a while to realize how unfathomably stupid that is. I'm glad. Beyond. You run towards the shotgun. Kenneth Wayne Gill. Kenny Wayne Gill. Kenny Wayne Gill. That is a man who comes with his own nunchucks.

That is a man who comes with his own nunchucks and only plays slide guitar. Kenny Wayne Gill is the guy who knows every line to the movie Roadhouse. Thank you. I love that you gave no indication as to what movie you were going to say. That's a lot of co-writers. Wow. They both just said that? Yes.

I just said Roadhouse for him. I completed his dumb sentence. That was it. Kenneth Wayne Gill was arrested by Pulaski County Sheriff's Office deputy. Pulaski. I tried to do that with Natasha, but every time the movie she fills in is Breakfast at Tiffany's. It's a great call. They were in high school and they got for detention.

Breakfast Club at Tiffany's. He's a cop. He's stuck in a high rise. It's Christmas. You know the movie. Breakfast at Tiffany's. Hard. I love that moment in Breakfast at Tiffany's when she says to him, Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker. Yippee-ki-yay, Tiffany. What if they did that? He was arrested, Kenneth Wayne Gill,

by County Sheriff's Office deputy in charge of several offenses, including third-degree criminal trespassing, third-degree terroristic threatening, Third-degree terroristic threatening. What? Second-degree wanton endangerment. Resisting arrest. Carrying a concealed weapon.

And impersonating a peace officer. According to the arrest citation, Gil approached a property on Holiness Church Road, where the owner of the property told the deputy that Gil stood in the roadway, spinning nunchucks, and calling to a 15-year-old to come into the roadway spinning nunchucks and calling to a 15 year old to come into the roadway and fight. That's awesome. This is drugs too, Mosh?

It doesn't sound like not drugs. Youth. Maybe it's youth. This to me sounds like this guy's like a Tarantino movie. I thought he was 15.

Kenny Wayne Gil. No, he's challenging a 15 year old. Oh, that's drugs. To give you a hint, I have not revealed the age of the man with the nunchucks yet. Keep that in your mind. Yes. But he goes, he's drugs. To give you a hint, I have not revealed the age of the man with the nunchucks yet.

Keep that in your mind. Yes. But he's definitely an adult, and he goes into the roadway with nunchucks. They're now nunchucks. I'm trying to be... Nunchucks. You're trying to be like someone from the coast? Yes.

Someone fancy who goes to cocktail parties. There's so much of me... Who reads Raymond Chandler. Nunchucks. There's so much of me that We'll reach Raymond Chandler. Nun-chucks. There's so much of me that reeks Rochelle Illinois. Donnie, get my nun-chucks. Donnie, are my nun-chucks over there by the... How pissed do you have to be at a kid to bring a weapon to fight them if you're an adult?

Kids are really annoying. They are, and teenagers suck we did a story once where a grown man threw down a five-year-old at like a kindergarten like play date thing yeah and then wanted to fight the kid and when the cops got there thought the cops were there to arrest the kid yeah yeah so he was so pissed off at this kid kenny wayne gill is a guy who always takes his shirt off to fight you know what i mean like he He's just like, so the second he takes his shirt off, if people want to stop the fight from happening, they're like, put your shirt back on. Right. If you see Kenny Wayne Gill at a gas station, you'll ask him to look under the hood of your car because you think he works there. Of course.

Gill then allegedly stepped- Kenny Wayne Gill fucked your wife. Exactly. He did. And has no remorse. Kenny Wayne Gill allegedly stepped onto the property and claimed to be a Kentucky State Trooper. You know how State Troopers always carry nunchucks? I'm going back.

I'm taking it back. It's nunchucks. I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the car. Kenny Wayne Gill has the highest score on two different Gallagher machines right now. KWG. KWG is machines right now. KWG. KWG is what it is. KWG. He allegedly stepped onto the property, said, I'm a Kentucky State Trooper.

Gill, a lot. Wow, you know what? I've been to Kentucky. I've met State Troopers. I have never seen Anger Electrical. There he is. Two stories tied together. Gill, or as I like to think he wants to be called, the Gil.

The Gil. The Gil then allegedly hit a tree with the nunchucks. Sure. How many times has this guy been said, come on, man. Just whatever. Like in his life, every Friday night. Kenny, come on, man. Come on, man.

Hey, Kenny. Come on. Get down from there. When the deputy arrived, he began searching for the suspect. Gil was located underneath a neighbor's porch. How the mighty have fallen. Like a stray dog. I thought you were going to say Gil was standing next to the tree he'd hit,

pretending to be a tree himself. I mean, I don't mean, these people seem like they're all having fun. They're like burning down their friend's house. They're like hiding under a... Name change pitch from Natasha. Fun people town. By the way, that is actually, I love that you brought that up because I think that is a major part of it is that I think it's more fun to be dumb. Like, why would you be in your head thinking about this or that?

But like, it actually is fun to do this stuff. Yeah, these guys are getting out of the house. They're just shutting, they're unplugging. It's like they're unplugging. It's been hours since they've checked their email. They're not on screens. I'm sick and tired of the weaponization of media that has become the screen culture. So I'm going to actually literally weaponize these nunchucks.

In my mind, the whole time, hitting the tree, standing in the yard, all of it, every fourth or fifth he accidentally hits himself just trying to play through it. The whole time, he has one cigarette in his mouth that he has not taken out for a drag, but it is lit. It's just hanging there on the end. It's just hanging there the whole time. It's like, come on, motherfucker!

I mean, it's scary in Kentucky because, I mean, what are the odds that someone's going to have a gun? High.

High. Yeah, so it's like... But if you're good enough with the nunchucks, you can actually ricochet the bullet. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just depends on where you're at.

I mean, there's no way that guy doesn't also have a gun. Wait, wait, Moshe, you're saying, yeah, you're saying you're, if someone else

has a gun, like, I think Natasha's saying, like, how happy people must be when they're like, oh, he just has a nunchuck. You were worried about the guy with the nunchucks. I also picture him threatening and yelling, and then he hears the cop sirens and starts heading towards the porch and tells everybody who's watching, don't be a dick. Don't fucking tell them I'm under here. Guys, neighborhood rules. Neighborhood rules. Still whipping it around as he's like...

Of course. Yeah, he's hitting the porch on his way in. There's a raccoon under there. He's like, yeah, you come here, motherfucker. Come at me, bro. Come at me, bro. Come at me, you sweaty-wearing motherfucker. Whoa, whoa, the accent.

Come on. Turn about his fair play. Come at me, bro. Gil was located under the neighbor's porch. The citation also says that Gil was located in an orange pickup truck. I don't know how he's in two places at once or if he ran from one to the other. You don't know how tall the porch was. He could have driven his pickup truck underneath the porch.

There you go. There you go. While being arrested, Gil allegedly told the deputy he was an FBI agent. That could be true. That could be true under this current administration. That actually could be true. He is leaning, like, don't go back. Don't start being like, look, I'm not a cop. Go farther.

You're right, I'm not a cop. I'm an FBI agent. I'm the attorney general. I am the senior law enforcement agent in this country. What do you think this means? This is the next three words. I'll read what I already read and then the next three words. While being arrested,

Gil allegedly told the deputy he was an FBI agent. Then tensed up. I like that he's loose at first. You know what, dog? I'm an FBI agent. It's like... That could have been busted.

That could have been his threat. Y'all are making me tense up right now. You don't want me to tense up. See this vein in my neck? You won't like me when I'm tense. You see this vein in my neck? You don't want to see it. He then had to be, quote, physically moved to the patrol car.

That's tense. That is, like, re-kicked in the nuts. This is so good, I'm going to show you guys a picture of Kenneth Wayne Gill, KWG. And then we're going to have to guess his age. By the way, I haven't seen him yet, but I am imagining that he is Dog the Bounty Hunter.

That's who I am imagining. I'm imagining that he's super skinny. When I saw his photo, I'm like, this guy still wears his Letterman jacket. You ready for this? I put this together. I'm like, this guy still wears his Letterman jacket. You ready for this? Look at this gentleman. Aww.

He's got a scary smirk. Great head of hair. Let's start with that. He got his hair cut exactly five days ago. Probably has bad teeth, though. You're not smiling? A weird smirk. Have any of the dumb people ever contacted you directly?

Yes. Yeah. Cool. Very likely. Some do. Yeah, okay. Hell, I'm dumb. One does.

One does. Yeah, his name's Jan Flato. He's the greatest person ever. I heard about this. Jan Flato's the greatest. All right, I'm going to ask you guys. Jan Flato is great-o. How old is Kenneth Wayne Gill?

You've all seen his photo 41 46 It's going to work eventually He's 44 I think he's 38 Kenneth Wayne Gill The master of the nunchucks

FBI agent, state patrol We don't know what the 15-year-old did to him. Is 36 years old. Oh! Why is he so young? These people look much older than they are. It's not easy in dumb people's homes. Every time you hit a tree with a nunchuck,

it takes like six months off your life. Well, no. What happens is one of the rings goes from the tree into the nunchuck, into the other chuck, into your arm, into your body. If we were. What happens is one of the rings goes from the tree into the nunchuck, into the other chuck, into your arm, into your body. If we were to cut him in half, you would see 36 rings. If you were to cut him in half, you could actually scrape some of it out, snort it,

you would get high. Yeah. That is math. It's actually human math. Kenny Wayne Gill. There you go. Story two. Down in the book.

What a great one. What a great one. I wonder what the 15-year-old did to him to cause him to want to call him out. We never understood. We never learned that. He questioned the fact that he was a nunchuck master. Okay. I just imagine Kenny the Wingill getting out of his truck, seeing the kid in the yard,

and just being like, the fuck are you looking at? Yeah. And the kid just got up and went in his house, and that was enough. That was like, get out here. They also wrote something in this article that they've never, I've never, in all the stories we've ever done, nobody's ever written this at the bottom. Readers are reminded that a charge is an accusation only and that all suspects are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. Usually no one cares in dumb people town about saying any of that stuff.

Yeah, but usually they're not writing about a state trooper and FBI agent. You're right. They've got to cover their bases. Yeah, you've got to come correct if you're coming after an agent. I mean, this is a guy of intense law enforcement pedigree. That's right. Speaking of Get Out Here, that's the sequel, the whites-only sequel to Get Out. Get Out Here.

Get Out Here. Get Out Here. Get Out Here. I know, Chuck. Get Out Here. Get Out Here now. I'm on your porch. I'm under your porch.

I'm under your porch. Give us a little taste of what we're going to see in this last segment. There is an entrepreneur who also works at McDonald's. Okay. Hey, man. It's like Sully McCullough's little bit. You can't get fired from McDonald's. You can't get fired from McDonald's. Okay. Hey, man. It's like Sully McCullough's little bit. You can't get fired from McDonald's.

You can't get fired from McDonald's. It was so great. He's like, he knew someone who stabbed someone and is like, you're on fries now.

Yeah. Great bit. All right, one more segment to go. Dumb People Town, Natasha Leggero, Moshe Kasher. We'll be right back.

Hey, guys. Welcome back to DPT. Our guests, we remind you once again, the honeymoon... Stand-up comedy special. Comedy special. Honeymoon stand-up special.

Oh, that's right. Honeymoon stand-up special. Only on Netflix. April. Is the honeymoon period over between you two? Or is it still... You still make her laugh. I love that.

She makes me laugh too. We have a lot of fun. You guys make each other laugh a lot. Just in hanging out today, I've seen it firsthand and you guys are tired. You're tired with a new baby. That's impressive. Is the honeymoon over for the two of you?

We don't speak to each other. Off mic, we will not speak. I heard Hall and Oates are like that. Are they? They don't talk to each other? Then they tour together. Well, Oates are like that. Are they? They don't talk to each other? They don't speak. But then they tour together. Then they sing together. Well, Oates can't handle Hall's thick Philadelphia accent. You know, he's got this thing.

Hey, Daryl Hall, why don't you go grab me a Coke Zero out of the fridge? That's offensive. The fridge. Hey, Daryl Hall, go grab a water ice. Yeah, that's it. He can't handle it. He's like, I don't want to hear that. But yeah, we're tired.

No, but Natasha and I get along real well. We love each other's company. Yeah. We love each other's company. We like our new baby when she's not crying. Every night before we go to bed, I turn to her, I sort of stroke her cheek, I say, I love your company. I remember when you-

You're talking about her LLC, the thing that she bought and already get paid, so she doesn't have to pay back. So she does. I love your tech shelter. Her S-Corp. I love your S-Corp her S-Corp I love your S-Corp so much the shape of it is so good I love your S-Corp

I'm going to run my hands all down your S-Corp your S-Corp I love Another Period and I wanted I meant to tell you that before we got done with this show

it's such a great it's a collection of like let's just take some of the funniest people in the world give them all like a great character. There's so many people who are like, oh, the show could be about that character.

That's what makes it so rich. Motion plays Dr. Goldberg. We should have him. You think that the show could be about Dr. Goldberg? I know. He wants that. But you're right. Another period is, it's the joke volume of 30 Rock taking place in Downton Abbey.

Yeah. Oh, that's a great way to put it. Like if the Kardashians moved to Downton Abbey and then also had the joke ratio of 30 Rock. That's it. It's on Comedy Central. I think you can buy it on iTunes.

First time I saw you on... Did you play the hooker on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia? Hey, homie. Hey. I'm sorry. You played, did you play the hooker on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia? Oh, yes. Hey, homie. Hey, uh-uh. Hey. Oh, I'm sorry.

She said, easy. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Put the nunchucks down. I'm sorry. Did you play the whore on it? There you go. That's what I'm talking about.

He's mad at me because I didn't go deep enough. All right. I'm sorry. You played the whore. I think the first 20 credits on my IMDb are like pantsless hookers. By the way, you were so good in that. And I was like, oh, shit. Because I always knew you as a stand-up.

I'm like, you're a great stand-up. But I was like, oh, she can act as well. She could play a prostitute. No, you were really good. How fun was that? It was real fun. That show, I love that show so much. It was awesome.

Natasha is such a great actor. She really is. She is. To me, my mind, I'm married to her. I'm a little bit biased. One, that was awesome. Natasha is such a great actor. She is. She really is. She's one of the best. To me, in my mind, I'm married to her. I'm a little bit biased. One of the best comedic actresses. She's the Meryl Streep of comedy.

You think I'm kidding. You know what's funny? No, she's good. I googled Meryl Streep, and I actually have more IMDb credits than her. Of course. Yeah, you do. Which only means that I've just never been in a big hit. Yeah.

So I just keep having to do things. That's right. Thank God. You know? Thank God. Amen. That's actually not having to do things. That's right. Thank God. You know? Thank God. Amen. That's actually not a good thing to have 95 credits on IMDb. You want like 60.

You want three. You want three. Three. The Godfather 1, 2, and 3. Take it. But actually, Meryl Streep performed as Pantsless Hooker in The Remains of the Dead.

Oh, she was so good in that. Oh my God, she was amazing. Meryl Streep was not in Remains of the Dead. I know. I was just trying to find a high-profile. I know, like a high-profile. Kramer versus Kramer. Pants of Sugar and Kramer versus Kramer.

All right, Daniel. You want to do it? Yeah, let's do the last one. Sent in by one of three Jared Thornbergs on the internet. One of our favorite people to send in. At 00 negative. All right, here we go. According to a report,

McDonald's employee named Tysheer added his wrap mixtape in the Happy Meals with a paper disc holder on the mixes was printed the title of the project, Tales of a Real N-Word. Okay. Respect, Tyree. You got to get your shit out there somehow. Hell yeah. If these six year olds aren't on my shit who will be

I'm gonna make this a real happy meal I'm gonna tell you something for real Grimace was hard as fuck am I right I mean was he down was he street

why no the Hamburglar Hamburglar was hard as fuck Hamburglar was hard Hamburglar was like Hamburglar was a criminal it's in my name yeah

Mamma Cheese I dated him Mamma Cheese hated the Hamburglar because that was a scourge. You know, every time he would come to town, the hamburger would be in the middle of the street. But the hamburger just burgled. Hamburger just burgled. Grimace would sit on one of them.

Were there any women in this crew? That is true. What's happening with the Happy Meal McDonald's? Do children under the age of 10 have any idea who these McDonald's characters are? That's a good question. At this point right now, no. No, right? They don't exist for children.

Is Grimace a man, though? I mean, definitely he's not a woman. No, Grimace is a face you make. Right. Like, oh. So this guy, working at McDonald's, handing out all these Happy Meals every day. It's very easy to believe. This was a day where he thought to himself, this is my my distribution right here hey y'all like hip-hop i'm thorn

okay that does not answer my question do you like it no he said you do y'all like him up to one kid the way it's uh labeled too like he's definitely going to get in trouble. Yeah. And found out. That's what I'm thinking. Like, why put that? I mean. That's the title, Dan. You don't want to mess with the title. It's his art.

If anybody doesn't assume, it doesn't say N-word. It says it. I just don't have the right. We knew. Yeah. If he were to put this out on a label, they maybe would have told him, change the title. But he's self-putting this out. Yeah.

What's the name of it again? Tales. Tales of a real. Tales of a real. Tales of a real. Tales of a a real tales of a real of a real yes a customer named sarah desmond said this i bought a happy meal for my son and inside came a mystery cd i like any other parent would assume this cd was for children i like when somebody does something it's like

everybody would you know what though he's a real that's what a real that's real i mean that's a real ass shit to do i gotta get my i gotta get my stuff out there i gotta get it out any way possible i would assume i like any other parent would assume the CD is for children. You guys are parents. If you got your kid a Happy Meal and a just paper case holding thing, would you look at it and be like, this has got to be. No, you already are a questionable parent

by taking your kid to McDonald's. That's already, I'm kidding. I love it. That's very elitist. Oh, is it? Or you're on the road. You know, that is very elitist. Oh, is it? You're on the road. You know, that is very elitist. Why?

In-N-Out. It's kind of disgusting of you. Wow! McDonald's is good, and before 10 a.m., they serve breakfast at Tiffany's. Wow! Good bring-around. Thank you, Ray Kroc. I would eat an Egg McMuffin if you paid me.

You would? Yeah. How much? It's just not... i'd actually you just don't feel good you just don't feel good after you eat that stuff even an egg mcmuffin yeah just don't feel good but would any of you be pop this in the car with the kid to be like well listen you're happy no you'd be like someone dropped this in here i'm sorry thinks that any other parent would do what she did i played the cd in my car for my son while we drove home

and Lord Jesus have mercy on Ty Shear. The mixtape was dreadful. That's all she said. She's not saying I'm offended. That's the worst thing she could say to him. You're whack. Your style is whack. You've got no flow. You're garbage, Ty Shear.

Literally, listen to this quote. Not only was it completely inappropriate, but it was also the weakest set of bars I've ever heard. This woman is like, who's going to show up with nunchucks at her house? Can we hear a little track?

Oh, no. I looked. I wish so much. Ty Sheer, send it in. I bet we could contact him. Oh, yeah. He would send you some. We'll play it on the podcast, bro. Anybody who knows Ty Sheer, get it in. Get us a track.

We'll play it. There should be a radio show that goes to Hollywood Boulevard and anyone handing out CDs. Oh, that would be awesome. Plays them and interviews the people. Oh, my God. I would lose all your sponsors. It's called Nobody's Listening.

Oh, you suck, MCs. It's called There's listening Oh you suck MCs It's called There's a reason You're in a Spider-Man costume You could get Comedians to roast them That would be

A killer show That would be A killer show I'm not surprised That the mixtape Was not good Considering his Marketing technique

And strategy Essentially what you're Saying is doing The radio version Of the gong show It's like street justice Or whatever you want To call it

But also how do People hand out CDs anymore? I have CDs and DVDs that I can't play. Right. Because the computers don't have DVD players anymore. Some do.

And the cars don't have CD players. Some do. There are some that, yeah. Some do. New ones? I don't know. I only drive new cars. Oh.

Now who's elitist? I hate new cars. I only drive new cars. I drive a car once. And that's it.ist? I hate new cars. I only drive new cars. I drive a car once, I return it to the dealership, and I ask for another. Bring me a new one. Bring me another car. I am to cars

as Chris Hardwick is to ties. One and done. I am to cars like Kentucky basketball players are to the University of Kentucky. One and done. Wait. It is believed that Tysheer had been sneaking his mixtape in Happy Meals for some time.

Which means no one has said anything until this person. Also, I hope that he was like, my stuff's out there, guys. I've got distribution. I'm moving 30 to 40 CDs a day. What's funny about this is I could see if you worked at Interscope or you were an intern somewhere where people who actually could make a difference probably aren't going to help you, but at least you're trying to move it along. Right. But it's like to a toddler.

Viral. Get them young. It's like cigarette sparking in the 80s. Get them on board early. Start them young. No, you're totally right. What is his best hope? What It's like cigarette sparketing in the 80s. Get him on board. Start him young. No, you're totally right. What is his best hope? What's the end game?

They'll be 14 soon. They can't buy your next album. No. Maybe he's just trying to get rid of stock. You're saying they can't buy your next album? They can if they get a McRib. I'll tell you that much. He's got a 12-meal deal.

Oddly, no parents before Sarah Desmond had confronted Tysheer or even bothered to speak to the store manager about the mixtapes. Oh, right, because he has his name on it, so it's not that hard to figure out. Actually, it says Tysheer the fry guy. What I love about his mixtape is the hot side is hot and the cold side is really cold. Experts, who these people would be? I do not know. Experts believe the parents and children might actually have enjoyed the trap beats

included in the mixtapes. Experts? I have no idea. What experts? Experts? What? Hi, I'm Gnome Chunk. Expert on trap. What?

Expert on trap beats. Tayshia has since been fired from McDonald's. No. He's the only one who's ever been fired. His name is so close to the word cashier. I want him to... And you know what? You know that's a line.

The saddest part is when he got fired, that was the only time he's ever had anything that was that fire. Yeah, that was. That's the hottest thing I've ever gotten. He was lit. I'm going to ask you guys. His firing was lit. How many weeks

had Tayshia been dropping mixtapes before... This is a great question. ...before anyone complained that he had weak-ass bars? You know my answer, right? Yeah.

46. 46 weeks. 46 weeks. On the charts. I'm going to say two months. Eight weeks. Eight weeks. Okay.

Jay? Four weeks. Four weeks, Jason Sklar. Three weeks. Eight weeks. Okay. Four weeks. Four weeks, Jason Sklar. Three weeks. Three weeks. Because there had to have been another Susan out there. Do you think he rapped about working at McDonald's? Hell yeah.

Because you said cashier can rhyme with cashier. I bet he rapped about his mom. Yeah. He did a cover. But his mom was also actually named Big Mac. Biggie. I just thought of a question that I've never thought of. Sure.

Yeah? When you go to a rap concert, do they ever do covers? Well, I can answer that question directly. Sure. Because I haven't been to many. Snoop Doggy Dogg. Yes. In his titular, it's not titular, but his big album Doggy Style.

Yes. Which came out after The Chronic. Was the first, I believe, correct me if I'm wrong, anybody, except for Walk This Way, which was Run DMC, which was different because they did it as a collaboration. You're talking about Atomic Dog? No, he did Lottie Dottie by Slick Rick. Oh, nice. And it was the first, I believe, the first cover, mainstream cover a hip-hop artist ever did. And he was self-conscious conscious about it and it had never been done before

and in fact he starts the song gotta say what's up to my n word slick rick for those who don't like it eat a dick

but for those who are with me sing that shit and it goes a little something like this so it had never been done before and he released it lotty dotty and since then

it's been done not as much as with rock music but it's been done cause like you go to rock and a lot of times they'll do a cover or two as part of their encore, something like that, but that almost never happens with hip-hop music, right? Yeah. Nobody covers anybody.

Not as much. No. Okay, here we go. Sorry, that struck me in the head, and I wanted to ask. The amount of weeks. Good thing I was here. I mean, most people wouldn't have had that. Thank you.

You are an expert. I am an expert. How are his trapeze? You're a trap expert. I actually wrote a book about my experiences in the hip hop community. Here it comes. And it's called The Diary of a Real Moshe Kach. No, it's The Diary of a Real Netflix Special coming out in 2017.

The Honeymoon Comedy Special. The circle gets a square. All right. The amount of weeks that Ty Sheer, who I'm hoping I've been saying this right the whole time. T-Y-S-H-A-E-R. Yeah, Tysheer. Tysheer. The amount of weeks he had been dropping his mixtape into Happy Meals for kids with nobody

complaining until Sarah was two weeks. Two weeks. I win again. But that was confusing because you said for some time. I know. That's what they wrote. Some time. And the experts think for those two weeks.

That's pretty long. We talk about your baby. Our baby's six weeks old. And then eventually it'll be like our baby's two months old. And then eventually it'll be like our baby's 39 months old. Yeah. Don't ever do that. He possibly got his mixtape into up to 300 Happy Meals.

Good for him. That's good, man. Oh, man. That's great distribution. It's a great collector's item. So that means he ended like... That shut down? There we go.

This one's for Ty Sheer. I agree. All right, guys. Those are my stories. Love it. I love it. All right. Before we get out of here, speaking of rap CDs that were distributed, you know, a lot

of people... Hip-hop CDs. Hip-hop CDs. A lot of people have had humble beginnings, and I did not know this, but our very own Mark Wahlberg, who occasionally checks in with the show, left us a voicemail about his first rap, self-produced rap CD. Hip-hop CD, and here's his voicemail. You have one new voice message.

What's up, DBK? What's up, Sklar Bros? So, dudes, sounds to me like you got an entrepreneur in your hand, alright? I don't understand what the big problem is with some dude putting his mixtape into a Happy Meal. What's wrong with that? Sounds to me like that dude's going somewhere. Sounds to me that that dude's got hustles. I bet he's also got a brother.

A brother that doesn't make a mixtape. A brother that got wrapped up in some other group and then he's just riding those coattails. And then they're going to end up about 1999, and then they'll do like one scene, and whatever that dude, that director dude, whatever his name is, okay, but this dude, he's the Happy Meal dude, and I happen to know something about that, because back in the day, we had a Hardee's on Docha State Avenue, and I didn't work there, but I would stand outside, and when people would order their big cups, I would knock the cup out of their hand and say, listen to this, and I would hand them a tape cassette, you know who was on that tape cassette, I was, because I happen to know something about being a hustling dude, hustling dude, all right, and that's what this

Happy Meal guy is, so don't hate the dude, and don't hate the game, wish you were in on it, but you're not, maybe you'll get caught up in some group and you guys can go on tour and do cruises for cool dudes and chicks in their 40s that, I don't know, the guys and dudes, they just hang on to their past. All right, I don't want to get into that. I'll talk to you guys later.

All right, there we go. I can't believe he distributed that at a Burger King. Yeah. That seems odd and a Burger King. Yeah. Seems odd and a weird choice. Strangely, it was also called Diary of a Real. And that's why it was so interesting. And that was... M-word.

I mean, it's a Whopper of a title. M-word. Yeah, Marky Mark. I don't say the M-word. I don't say the M-word in front of other people. I wouldn't say it in front of him. I wouldn't either. I don't think I'd write to him.

It's offensive to say Marky Mark in front of Mark Wahlberg as it is to say the M- it in front of him. I wouldn't either. I don't think I'm right to. It's offensive to say Marky Mark in front of Mark Wahlberg as it is to say the N-word in front of a black man. The special on Netflix, it drops today. It is called the Honeymoon Comedy Special

Natasha Leggero, Moshe Kasher. Then go back and watch Moshe's first stand-up special on Netflix if you haven't seen it. It is in Oakland. It is electric.

Thank you. So fast, so funny. It's no longer on Netflix, but you can get it on various you can get it on various things forms of media find it

it's funny it's amazing I think it's on comedycentral.com they bought it but yeah but you've got today today

you do this today it'll make you happy and then I do a stand up special go pick up Sclars and Stripes and the album Sclars and Stripes the tour tapes

on audible.com audible.com we love you guys and oh shit we gotta get back to work it's a good show