Dumb People Town - Nate Craig - Drama Police

Episode Date: September 17, 2024

Comedian Nate Craig (Tour dates) stops by as Daniel explains how a Greek woman started setting fires so she could flirt with firemen, Jason describes why a Florida man jumped into a pond to avoid police, and Randy warns against storing stolen gerbils in your pants, and so much more! Thanks to our sponsors: Chewy and BetterHelp! Chewy has everything you need to keep your pet happy and healthy. And right now you can save $20 on your first order and get free shipping by going to Chewy.com/DPT. Rediscover your curiosity with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com/DPT today to get 10% off your first month.

Dan and Rand and Jay will share Tales of hope so unaware they lack in grace And sometimes shoes, the life they choose will make the news Breaking down each epic fail In Florida there's half price bail I'm happy to say they couldn't make this up So listen to our podcast jam With co-hosts Arm and Dan Hey guys, if you're a pet parent like me, I got two little kiddos. You know about Chewy and when they say they have everything you need to keep your pet or pets happy and healthy, they're not messing around Dan. Chewy has everything you need

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Nice. Townies, this show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Kids are always learning and growing, but as adults, like we pretend to be, sometimes we lose that curiosity. So what would you like to learn how to do? Garden, maybe beatbox? a new language breakdancing? I literally thought to myself it would kind of be cool to tap dance

Just a little just enough. I mean play harmonica So therapy can help you reconnect with your sense of wonder because your back-to-school era can come back at any time So rediscover your curiosity with better help visit better help comm slash TPpt today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P dot com slash dpt. Hey Tonnies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population you. Population Craig. Nathaniel Craig. Man I'm back. What's up Nate Craig. Two first names. It's the only place I feel really, really at home. When's the last time you got on the skates? Every week.

You're still getting? Dog, I skate a couple times a week. Really? It's about rollerblading, right? Rollerblading. I strap on my blades. You put on your blades, you wear like a headphone with a thing that goes with it.

What rink are you going to? I go to a hockey. What about hockey? There's a couple. Pickwick? You hit Pickwick? Pickwick's is no more. Pickwick. The ice rink at Pickwick is no more? I think it's all gone. I think it's all gone. What about hockey? Pickwick? You hit Pickwick? Pickwick's is no more. Pickwick's. The ice rink at Pickwick is no more?

I think it's all gone. I think it's all gone. The bowling alley? I don't know. Bowling alley might still be. The crack center? The bowling alley for sure is closed. The place I go to is a,

it's a god darn, it's a rehabbed bumper car. What are you, like in Manhattan Beach? It's Van Nuys. I go to, well first of all, Toyota Center's where the Kings and the Lakers practice. Oh, I know the Van Nuys. I've been to a birthday party out there. That's a Sunday, Monday. There's a couple different sk, I go to, well first of all, Toyota Center's where the Kings and the Lakers practice. Oh, I know the Van Nuys, I've been to a birthday party out there.

That's a Sunday, Monday, there's a couple different skates I go to there, but Tuesday, tonight, I will be at this Iceland, which is, I mean. And it's just the same group of guys pick up high. Did like Justin Bieber pop in on one of them? I've seen Bieber at Van Nuys at Valley Ice. Can you take a shot at him?

No. Does he have like three people standing by with one big guy? What about Arnett? You ever put Arnett in the boards? I have never seen Will Arnett on Ice, but I have seen, there was a YouTube video of Justin Bieber getting in like a fight. Of course.

And like I just saw it and then like all of a sudden, you know, I'm getting dressed and then you know, kind of re-intersect with the drama and like I'm like, is that the dude from the, is that, okay, looks like Josh from Falkland Beaver. And I stopped and I held the door for him. And Bieber's walking out solo. Wow.

Like, knit cap, looked like he just got tossed out of the chateau. Good for him. Like, dude, and yeah, totally. That's probably where he's most happy. I mean, I was face to face with Biebs. Face to face with the Biebs? Face to face.

I met him once in West Hollywood, also completely by himself. That's amazing. He was like, hey. He goes, hey. Damn, was he by himself or himself? You think he's not comfortable being totally, he started as a street performer.

The one thing I think that is harder than standup comedy. Yeah. I don't know, is it harder? When you say harder, you mean less respectable. I'm just kidding. No, I love standup comedy. Look. I don't know, is it harder? When you say harder, you mean less respectable. I'm just kidding. No, I love stand-up comedy. Look, harder to keep a crowd as a street performer. I think so too.

Can you imagine balancing bowls on your forehead? Everything's a closer. Everything is a closer. You can't, you don't have time for nuance. But the show's only 15 minutes, because you are okay with the new crowd coming in after 15. And you don't have like the new crowd coming in after 15. And you don't have to worry about bringing butts

into the seats. 15 minutes of the first three seconds of a TikTok video. That's it. That's all you get. Every single, hook them. You gotta hook them horns. You gotta hook them. You gotta keep them hooked.

All right, I got a story here. Should we do it? Yeah. And then we'll get into Nate's tourings. No, we won't. Yes, we will. I'm gonna find this by the second one. I forgot to put in who sent this.

Take me to Dumb People Town. Where street performers swallow fire and keep it down. That's right. You sent it in Chase it with more fire swords. This guy's belly was full of swords and fire. I When I got this story and I put in it I pictured us us and Nate doing this. Yes, okay, and also the reenactment, like the us if we were there. By the way, you have done, and it's so much fun because now as we all are sort of searching for stories, because it used to be that, I don't know if you remember, Dan would do all three.

And so now we each are adding in, but I love, because I think I put a very Nate Craig story in this thing as well. I love how we're tailoring the stories for the guests who we think should be good. All right, let's do this. Okay, ready? Yeah.

Headline. Woman set fires in Greece, quote, to watch firefighters and flirt. Oh, come on! No! You gotta go where the heat is. You wanna get warm. Buy a calendar, Lady. I do need to ask.

Buy a calendar. She set fires in the country of Greece, or Greece fires? We can call them Greece fires. They're in the country of Greece. Greece is a great place to start a fire. She's trying to get greasy. Yeah, she's getting greasy.

Brian Greasy. Okay. In an unprecedented incident of arson in Tripoli, Sam if you're nasty, a city in the central part of the, any Greece people here? Aegean coast? No. Peloponnese? Is that right? Peloponnese.

It's like the Peloponnesian. Peloponnese. Well the Peloponnesian War, we know about that. So that was a thing. In Greece, a Greek woman set fires, quote, because she enjoyed watching firefighters and flirting with them. Stop it. Yes.

Absolutely stop it. Go to a firehouse and start talking to them. Exactly. Go to a firehouse, pull up your shirt. I guarantee people start talking to you. Just in Chicago alone. Yeah, Chicago fire. You know where the firemen are?

They're sitting outside of the fucking garage waiting for you. Talking to anyone who walks by and says hey. They're working out, they're playing dominoes. Anyone, guy with dog, woman with cat. You guys haven't really thought this through. Okay. Okay.

Get me on her side, get me on her side baby. I just wanna say this. She's seeing the long play, okay? If. Who's good under pressure, she needs to know if this man can handle a flame. It tells her a lot the whole way through. Thank you.

If she lands one of these firefighters, one of the firefighters goes ahead and starts banging the chick that lit the church on fire. She's got him by the balls. She really does. She's got him by the balls. She really does. I thought you were just going to say,

there's just a great meat cube. I mean, would we call these controlled burns? I don't know if you can. Maybe she took the song, I Am the Firestarter too seriously. Burning passion. Yeah. She's a prodigy.

She is a prodigy. You're right, she's a romantic. And no, you can't contain that fire. You cannot contain the flames. The emotional fire, the flame between the woman and the guy? So you can put that out, but you can't put this out. Boys, none of your hoes is strong enough.

That's right. Is this burning an eternal flame? Quote the Bengals. A 36 month prison sentence plus a fine. You wanna guess really quick? Won't make it a big deal. Is it in Greek? American dollars?

Euros? 20,000 euros. 100,000 euros. That's good. It's 100,000 euros. I'm gonna go with J. Okay. 1,000. That's good. It's 100,000 euros. I'm gonna go with J. Okay, one thousand That's it. Oh one thousand euros. One thousand euros, but also 36 months in prison crazy A 36 month prison sentence plus a 1000 euro fine has been

Imposed on an arsonist in Tripoli the woman was arrested two days ago because she intentionally and repeatedly set fires. This resulted in two wild fires breaking out She's tripply crazy. The thing is they're there trying to put out the fires and she was like, tell me a little bit about you Like she's there. Yeah to meet them and flirt with them while they're trying to put out a fucking fire Before you go in there, what month are you? Are you February? You feel like an Aries. Exactly. I like that they still call the fires wild. Yeah, exactly. Those aren't wildfires. Specifically, the local fire department said in a statement

that the woman was, quote, arrested today, this is on August 26th, 2024, by investigating officers of the police department of Tripoli. It was added- Dude, if you live in Tripoli and you've called two fires in, you're the suspect. That's right. More than one, it's you. Oh, sure. If you live in Tripoli and you've called two fires in, you're the suspect. That's right.

More than one, it's you. Oh, sure. If it's not your house. Yeah, because you want someone to come see you. You need these firemen down here. Same block? Jesus. Yeah, like you're not even,

like get around the city lady. It was added that the woman is a Greek citizen who is responsible for causing two fires on farmland, intentionally and repeatedly in the municipality of Tripoli in Arcadia. According to Greece's Sky TV report, the woman set fires because she hoped to flirt with the firefighters who would rush to put out the flames. She wanted to meet a man in uniform. The fact that the woman was present in both of these last two fires in Tripoli aroused the suspicions of the fire department.

Yeah, that's it. Now I like it when she's getting interviewed by the detectives and she just shits all over them. Secondhand citizens. She's a fireman or nothing. Or nothing. These guys come in and they're like,

Oh, here she goes. She's nice to shit. What if you're a reserve fire? Cause there are those reserve firefighters. Oh,, here she goes. She knows the shit. Trying to nag him. What if you're a reserve firefighter? Cause there are those reserve firefighters. Oh, she knows the difference. She knows the difference. She knows what kind of medals you got. The cops come up to her and they're like, may we speak to you for a second?

Not interested. Uh-uh. Man, we need to get your statement. We have to ask you a couple of questions. I bet you do. Sure. You know who I want to ask me questions? Talk to the hand.

Chief, mister over there. And by the way, it's grease. There are so many good looking dudes in grease. Like literally is it just limited to the fire? Ma'am, follow up. I'm talking to your hand. It smells a lot like gasoline. Oh, I bet it does.

I bet. Oh, sure. Sure. If you could just come over here with me. I have a seat at the fire right now. So I'm good. If I wanted to talk to you. I'm watching the fire.

My friends and I just came here to have fun. So if you could leave us alone. This is my own personal burning man. So this is the original, I mean look, I'm a Milwaukee fan here, this is the original Greek freak. Are we right? Yeah. That's who she is.

She is the Greek freak. Giannis is not, she is. Giannis doesn't have. Do you think the second fire, she was like, Dave, Mark, I can't believe you guys are here again. What? What are the odds? What are the odds? What are the odds? What are the odds? She was like Dave Mark. You guys are here again What are the what are the One-to-one those are the what are the odd one to one? Yeah, those are the there are no odds He's still in that shitty relationship. Yeah, I can fix that you know appreciates you more than your wife

I love what you're doing All I'm saying is she's not here and I am so So one person came to support your fireworks. Someone shows up and supports you at work. Someone doesn't. Right. Think about it. You said you liked pulled turkey, right? She's got lunch. She has a live turkey. She's got a live turkey. Jerked turkey. Jerky. It should be noted that the fires affected only small plots of land as the fire department responded promptly. I love that the person is like, a fuckin' nod. Can I say this, when they say that fires that burn thousands of acres,

and it's started by humans, it's clear that it's arson, I'm like, those people have to die, right? We have to kill them. Is this an island? She's definitely gotta leave the island. Yeah, she's gotta be, she's gone. That's the original game show. No has to, no, this is it. And then you say, look, we're not gonna throw you in jail.

We're not gonna do anything else. You have to swim to that island. But first, but first, first, cause it's Greece, we cut your hands and feet off. Now let's see how you do. Let's see how you do. Or we go, we're gonna go set your house on fire. Yeah. You gotta put it out.

You put it out, everything's forgiven. Yeah. We can stay. That'd be cool. You like this, right? You're a big old fire fan? Yeah, you like fire. And while You gotta put it out. You put it out, everything's forgiven. Yeah. We can stay. That'd be cool. You like this, right? You're a big old fire fan? Yeah, you like fire. And while we do that, we cut your hands and feet off. Why?

I don't know. It's grace. It's grace. But you get to pick which one. This whole time I've been trying to come up with a good name for, what's a good Greek lady's name? Oh. What's this woman's name?

I mean. Also, I already know how old she is. Athena? Are we doing how old she is? Maria is a good one. You think of me of our Dallas Yeah on the same note love a good sidebar in an article on us on the same note a 51 year old man was arrested following a spontaneous investigation. What is that even? Spontaneous aren't all investigations by me. I was checking out anyway, and I was like fuck it I'm gonna take this investigation

Well, we have been planning, pre-planning this investigation for six years. But unless you are on an investigation, then all of a sudden, investigation just breaks out. An improv investigation. 51 year old man was arrested following a spontaneous investigation by the drama police department in Greece.

What? I never knew there was a place in Greece for drama. Drama police? But the drama police is a real thing. Call the Drama Police. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. The emotions are running high. How many different ways could you take the Drama Police?

The Drama Police Department. That seems like characters on the show. Hey, we're here to arrest you. Oh, I bet you are. Everybody settle down, Drama Police. One of them has a sad face, one of them has the head. Yeah, exactly. Aw, that's right, Drama Police.

The man was suspected, this is that 51 year old guy. This is a tragedy. He was suspected of setting three fires. Now here's the deal. The woman set the fires on August 24th and 25th, okay? At the same time, this 51 year old guy set fires intentionally and repeatedly from August 24th to 25th, same time.

There's somebody else doing this in Greece. He's stealing her thunder. In the settlement of Yipselon in Drama, an administrative fine of just over $1,500 has been imposed. How come he gets a fine of $1,500? She gets 36 months in jail. It's a glass ceiling, Dan. It's a glass ceiling.

It's a glass ceiling. I don't like it. They won't let him break. It's a glass-fired ceiling. A man appeared before the drama. Go ahead. They starve. They gotta starve to the fire of oxygen.

That's right, you gotta take it out, suck it out. I just love the sentences I get to read here. Because it says, where was it? The man appeared before the drama prosecutor. It works every time. Every time. I just realized this is a place. I was like, what?

Drama grease. Oh, he was given a 15-month prison sentence I just realized this is a place. I was like, yes! What? Yes! Drama Grease. Oh, he was given a 15 month prison sentence with an estimated sentence of three months. How much election do you have? Accidentally starting a wildfire is now a criminal act. Now? Accidentally. As even the smallest fire can quickly rage

out of control under current conditions. Criminal act, criminal act. Drama. This was warned in a social media post in June regarding the arrest of a 30 year old Greek man who was starting a fire in Negrita. What are you the mayor of Drama Town? Yeah I am actually. You're being a real drama queen right now you understand that? I am the queen of drama town. Oh, oh, I didn't realize that. Oh wow. If it isn't the drama police. Well, here come the drama police. Overreacting again.

It has been noted that quote, the law is now stricter than ever and negligence constitutes a criminal act. That's it, dude. We'll get out of here on this for story number one. How old is the fire flirt? Fire flirt? Yes. That's it.

How old? Anybody can go. 31. You said earlier you said earlier you were you had called three years old 53 which at one point sounded very old and you're older than that's right. It's almost age differently Um, I think she's 61 61 he left 53. What'd you say? 31 31? She wants a young firefighter because it wouldn't matter what her age is a young firefighter. Okay We got out of story one by telling you that the fire flirt is 44 years old all right we're gonna take a break we come back we'll find out Daniel's dates yeah we can catch him Nate's and Nate find out Daniel's dates, where you can catch him. And Nate's.

And Nate's dates, Nate's dates. It's Dumb People Town, Nate Craig's there. Dumb People Town. Stick around, make a sound, there's more Dumb People Town. Hey guys, welcome back to the show. Before we jump in, Daniel, let them know where people can see you and all that good stuff.

Well, you better go to danielvancurk.com. You got to. That'll take you pretty much everywhere you need to go. It'll remind you about Wine Club, which you can watch on Tubi. It'll remind you about Rose Gold, which you can watch on YouTube. Just get it up over 100,000.

And then it'll tell you about all my dates. The first Wednesday of every month right here in LA. Overshare, you get two free drinks with every single ticket. That's a great plan. That's subject to change, but I bet if you look. Is that to get people in the crowd to start oversharing? You liquor them up. You get a couple of those in. Two free drinks. It's an element. You're oversharing. It is an element. But I bet if you look is that to get people in the crowd to start over sharing

You're over sharing Love the name of the show. What a great idea and then I want all of you on it Yeah, we'll do it. I'm trying to find you guys a date for a couple of months. Well, we'll do it So you win and then? Where else am I gonna be guys we do this a lot? I forget Oh New Orleans and Lafayette if this is around then that's at the end of September and then I gonna be, guys? We do this a lot. I forget, oh, New Orleans and Lafayette, if this is around then, that's at the end of September. And then I will be in Iowa doing shows the second Saturday of the month of November. That's like the ninth.

And then I'll be at the Flyover Comedy Festival. Other dates to be announced. Other fun projects coming up. Things I don't get to say yet, but you better keep paying attention. Go to danielvancurk.com at danielvancurk if you also just wanna follow me there. If you're nasty, I love it.

Nate, you got dates. Wow, exciting. Let's hear them. The love it. Nate, you got dates, let's hear them. Wow, exciting. Well, go see Dan. NateCraig.com for everything. I will be in Portland this, when does this drop? This probably will drop after that. Okay, all right, well, I was in Portland.

How well was it? September 7th, so fun. Yeah, great. Love Portland. Oh my God, that was a drunk lady in this, she tried to set the place on fire. Right. Nashville, September 15th, I'll be in St. Louis

at the Westport Phony Bones September 26th through 29th. Panama City Beach, Florida, brand new club, Beaches Comedy Club, October 11th and 12th, and then I'll be at the New York Comedy Club in Stanford, Connecticut, which will be then the Wednesday after that, 16th, October 16th, and then I'll be at the Alameda Comedy Club up in the Bay, November 15th, 16th,

Wilmington, North Carolina at the Dead Crow Comedy Room, you guys love it, you know it, you love it. December 20th and 21st, and then Madison, Wisconsin, the Majestic on December 27th. Dude, the Majestic, that's awesome. That's where we record our stand-ups, our Netflix special, I love that. That's where we record our stand-up, our Netflix special. I love that. Beautiful.

You gonna sell that bad boy out? Yeah, every year, that's my favorite show of the year. It's unbelievable. Homecoming show, we have very special guests, it's always super fun. Oh, I love it. So fun. Fantastic.

Go to natecraig.com and watch him and go see him live. Live at the Green Mill. Oh, the Green Mill. Preferred customer. So good. It's true. Live at the Green Mill. Oh, the Green Mill. Preferred customer. So good. All things comedy. Live at the Green Mill is just a class. Tremendous special.

Thank you, boys. Classy, tremendous, tremendous stand-out special. Thank you, boys. Netflix liked it so much they had to buy it from somebody else. Hey! Good. Hey, they bought it.

No, they bought somebody else's special. Shot at the Green Mill. Dang. All right, here we go. Story number two, sent in by Larissa at the Girl on the Wall. Is this new? No, no no girl on the wall's been set. Larissa explains it all. Florida man jumps in pond to avoid arrest after leading deputies on nearly a I'm not gonna tell you how fast. A long chase. Can I interject? Yes. Jake Groney by the way

sent in that story at Jake Grany. Thank you, Jake. My story that I forgot. There you go. Thank you, Jake. Sorry, I just didn't want to get too far. We'll guess the speed of the chase. Okay, Tampa, Florida. Jumped in a pond.

WFL. You can hang out in there for a while. Kind of. Dude, I would never go into anybody of water in Florida ever. Fingers crossed. Yeah, gonna be no gators in there. Yeah, I mean, people get afraid of the ocean. If I'm in Florida, I would much rather be in the ocean.

Again, my wife's mom and stepdad, when they were alive, lived in Sanibel Island, Florida. I remember driving on the island, and on each side of the road were like deep ditches that were kind of irrigation, and if water, a little water. Tola dinosaurs. I saw an alligator climb out of one of those ditches.

The water is like as high as this coffee table. No. Dinosaurs everywhere. At Disney World. An alligator. Get in the pond, make a wish. Make a wish. A Florida man attempted to evade arrest

by jumping into a retention pond. No, dude. A retention pond and swimming back and forth after leading deputies on a chase, according to a restaurant. So he's just doing laps. He's just getting the fly stroking. Get out of the water.

Put the Apple Watch on swimming. See how many strokes you get in. Stroke it up. On Saturday Collier County deputies respond to the area of a Davis Boulevard and Countryside Drive regarding a suspect who fled across a community golf course after stealing golf equipment. This guy is going, did he steal a golf cart? Did he steal a cart? You guys mind if I run through?

He's a one man Facebook marketplace. That's how it is, I'm gonna steal this stuff. So I one stop shop, so you do. Officer, how's your short game? There is a moment where you're everyone's away from the cart, looking at their shots, about to take a shot, where someone could run from the bushes and just take your shot.

Grab your cart and that's it. Different kind of gator. There's no key. Yeah. Different kind of gator. Different kind of gator. He come up and got me, I didn't see him. Gator goddess.

Club gator. Here we go, Jeffrey, I love this guy's name. Run away, Jeffrey, run away. Have you guys met the club? This club's got a club gator. It's got a club gator, you might take your stuff. Just be careful. Is it Jeffrey Bunker?

Don't feed him. Jeff, Jeffrey Treffy. Jeff? Jeff Treff? Jeff Treffy? Jeffrey Treffy? What do you want? I mean, it's been hard.

Jeff Treffy. Jeffrey Treffy. What else was he gonna do? What else was he going to do? Jeff Treffy. He's a man who was teased ceaselessly by the golfing community. If your name is Jeffrey Treffy, you have to go into team sports.

Because you will be called JT and most people your whole life will never know what your actual name is. I figured that. Because you're going JT. Sports? I mean, you are the beginning of a Dr. Seuss. Jeffrey Treffy stole a cart. Jeffrey Treffy had to fart. Jeffrey Treffy dove into a Dr. Seuss. Jeffrey Treffy stole a cart. Jeffrey Treffy had to fart. Jeffrey Treffy

dove into a pond. Took a swim. Jeffrey Treffy. Was he a righty or a... He's not him. A leffy? He's not him. He's not him. Anyone want to guess how old he is? Jeff Treffy sounds like a shitty rapper from like 88 to 89. Jeff Treffy, he's early 30s, 33. 33, Jeffery Treffy, same age as Jesus when he died. 26. 26 years old, 22. Get your answers in, cause Jeffery Treffy is 46. What?

Almost spent half a century with that name. Amazed that he's still alive. This is what I wish we could see. Jeffery Treffy? I'm gonna look up Jeffery Treffy. Jeffery Teffy. You know, that's a good point. How do you spell it? T-R-E-F-F-Y.

It takes a couple decades to get the golf equipment to meth exchange pattern down. What is that? Is he calculating? He's like, all right, I got a full set of clubs, it's a thousand bucks. I know where the clubs are. Yeah.

Okay. I know. He's up in the clubs. I'm up in the clubs. How old is he? 46. They're just past those trees after the grass starts. Yeah. Okay. I know. He's up in the clubs. I'm up in the clubs. How old is he? 46. They're just past those trees after the grass starts.

I got him. I got you. I'm gonna get him. They're not even with him. He's sizing up. He's got lizard eyeballs. What are those? PX1s?

Listen to this journey. Don't spook him. Listen to this journey. Was spotted driving eastbound on Davis Boulevard in a red BMW. Wow. He's got a nice ride. Wow. Look, let's start at, he'svard in a red BMW. Wow. He got a nice ride. Wow.

Look, let's start at, he's got a driver's license. Yeah, well, let's not assume that. Let's not always don't assume. Before, I don't even know if it's his. He knows how to drive. Making a U-turn into the westbound lane, speeding past a deputy in a marked patrol car. So, your mistake number one.

Mistake number one. Oncoming traffic, right, okay. The arrest report says, look at him. He looks, let me see this guy. report says, look at him, he looks, you see this guy? He looks like Chad Damiami. Oh, Jeff Traff, he does. Jeff Traff.

Jeff Traff. Jeff Traff. He looks like a bad guy on the show Lost. He does, he really does. Or like a character in Breaking Bad who like, either works for, like I could see him with a cop or on the other side. Or he's like the guy in the extermination company

that, like he's their boss who doesn't know that they're just using the equipment. So, Ebay, you turn on the westbound lanes. The arrest report said Treffy crossed several lanes of traffic, cut vehicles off, and caused drivers to suddenly break to avoid a collision. So hopefully there was no collision. No collision, but some of them.

After responding, Deputy activated his sirens to avoid a collision. So hopefully there was no collision. No collision, but something. After responding, deputy activated his sirens to conduct a traffic stop. Traffic accelerated to what speed before striking a metal gate and security bar? Oh. What speed did he take it to? So he went through the golf club. Into the golf club, 90 miles an hour.

90, how fast was he going, Dan? 70. Is this a driveway of a golf club? I'm guessing, but he crossed through some metal gate somewhere. I have such the things to think of. 70, 90, what do you got? Let's go 120.

120, get your answers in, this guy accelerated 80 miles an hour. Wow! Before striking a metal gate and security bar. He continued driving, reaching a max speed of how much? 100, weaving an hour. Yeah, I mean, he's already going 80 and hitting 100. What kind of car was it again?

A 110. I'm a 110. BMW 110. I'll stay at 120. One of you is two miles off. Oh, they nailed it? 102. 102?

108. 118. He was going 98 miles. Wow. Went the wrong way. Went the wrong way. Like him, he was going the wrong way. Going the wrong way, down one way. Also, why wouldn't the cops would want to have listed it?

Yeah, 100. 100. Why do we need to be that specific there? Really, you took the gun out? I'm gonna give you two miles off. Hang on a second, let me get the gun out on this guy. I bet he's going 100. Nah, he's going 98.

Jeff, we go back a long time. I know you got a lot of problems. I'm gonna knock this down to 98 miles an hour through the gate there. So, save your year. If it's 100, you're gonna have to go to a fucking class. 80 through the gate. So I'm actually, dude, don't get mad at me.

I'm giving you a favor. Jeff, wanna go to a class? Wanna go to a class? 80 through the gate, 98 on the old road going the wrong way. So he crashed into a curb, he curbed his enthusiasm, and onto a dirt embankment coming to a stop about 20 feet east of a retention park. He probably flew through the front of that windshield.

I can't wait to find out what I have to tell you. That's when Treffy got out of his car, drove into the pond, sorry, dove into the pond, swam into the mill. That might be the dumbest thing he's done. Grabbed the Golf golf pros putter. Every time someone tries to Brody point break this, it never works.

It's never gonna work. You can't do it. Every time. Where are you gonna go, man? Well, you know what he did? Deputy said he began swimming from one side of the pond to the other side to avoid arrest. So they're walking over to get him over here

and then he swims back over there. You know like, you know he's gonna be gotten. Eventually he's gonna, they tried for how many minutes to get Trefee out of the pond? 17 minutes. 17 minutes? Jeff, there's three gators in that pond. That's right. We're gonna get you or they're gonna get you.

And they're not gonna arrest me. I ain't all that. I'm gonna go, this is a wild, I mean, if he's going pond, if he's going, if he's slapping it out, he'd have fucking felt. Gators ever wrote a darn parking ticket for no 45 minutes. 45 minutes, that's a long time. I said 17.

I think he held out, I think he held out for a good half hour. Half hour, 17. 45. 20 minutes. Yeah, it was close. 20 minutes. After Treffy eventually got out of the water,

officials tased him, and they were able to arrest him. Of course. The second you get out, we're gonna get you. I don't know where he stole the golf equipment, but I guess he did that. Trefee was taken to the Naples Jail Center on charges of fleeing and looting, reckless driving, resisting law enforcement without violence, and leaving the scene of the crash. He is being held on how much bond?

We will get out of this one. No, we won won't because i got something to tell you okay how much bond and then you want to save the bond let's save the bond you tell me the thing and we can give us a little so i tried to find a picture of jeffrey taffy this is a jeffrey taffy taffy taffy jeffrey taffy jeffrey yes yeah i kept seeing multiple photos this happened on june 6th what you're talking about. Yeah, very recent. Oh, the downfall. May 28th, man stabbed on Naples Beach, father claims defensive daughters. It's Teffy again. Treffy. Whatever. A father was arrested after being accused of stabbing a man that he said was harassing his teenage daughters. That's right. According to the Naples Police Department, they

responded to disturbance around 6 p.m. on 9th Avenue. The arrest report states that Jeffrey Teffi, four, 46, I couldn't remember if we guessed his age right. Did you see me literally pump race? I hold the emergency brake in my mind. 46 years old Naples was allegedly harassing the daughters of Yadier Enriquez, 47. What a scum. The girls are 14, 17, 18.

Police say the father got involved and the fight turned physical. Yep. Yeah, because Yadier's like, are you fucking with my kids? Here we go. He told the 911, so he beat the shit out of Treffy. This is like a week before this. Oh yeah.

He beats the shit out of Treffy. He calls 911 himself and goes, I just stabbed Teffy. Yeah, he went after Treffy. Treffy, he went after him. He was really harassing those dogs. A witness. He stabbed him? Yeah, the dad stabbed him.

Treffy lunged at Enriquez three times and made contact with him before. So hey, he ran into the knife he was trying to find. That's right. Stand your ground, I think that counts as the beat. We search for the knife we always want. This is a week before this! Yep, guy doesn't know.

Guy doesn't know, three strikes. But the swimming back and forth to me is the funniest thing. That's like, oh, he's doing the breaststroke. Now he's doing a crawl. He had been stabbed a week ago. I wonder if they tased him in the stab wound. For annoying kids. A week ago, and he swam for 20 minutes.

You gotta give him some credit. Your honor, look. Straight off of stabbing. He's in the jail Olympics. The taser was unnecessary. Okay, my client had been in the pond for 20 minutes. What was the last time you swam? When was the last time you tried to water for 20 minutes?

Swam for 20 minutes. You're going to be wiped out anyway. But maybe that's the- This is why Phelps was the number one athlete of the 21st century on the East Coast. So this is the redneck biathlon. You swim for 20 minutes and you get tased. And that's this is why Phelps was the number one athlete is a redneck biathlon You swim for 20 minutes and you get taste Yeah, maybe some for another 20 minutes

The bonds now that you know what I'm glad we did it first Because I think his his bond is gonna be affected by his week prior arrest right right? That's right I'm saying you go at least ten thousand ten thousand because you you only gotta put up 10% if he does a bail bond. So you're saying 10,000? $10,000 bond. I was gonna say they wanted their money, but that's a good point. I'm gonna go ahead and say he is,

if he could scrape together, if Jeff Treff, Jeff Treff, JT. My main man Treffy can scrape together $20,000. That laughy, Treffy. He's out. He's out. 20K. Because they're miners. He $20,000. That laugh. He's out. He's out. 20K.

Because they're miners. He was harassing miners. 50K. That's a different story. Oh, you're saying to influence. 50K. 50K. You can't put people's lives in danger.

You're right. You're right. I should have gone with you. And destroying property. I forgot about the golf. Breaking through a speeding. Excessive speeding alone is gonna be a five. Get your answers in.

Oh, one of you is $500 off, you guys want to know? 45.5, 49.5, 49.5. 10.5. 15.5, no, no, no, 25, 25. Dan, you overestimated yourself. Really? $9,500.

Wow, that's it. Wow, what town is this? This is in Naples, Florida. He's a menace in this town. Naples wants their money.ace in Naples wants their money Oh Naples wants their Number he's not gonna be able to pay a week earlier this dude got stabbed so they know when they're after like it's Teffy again She's

That's just Treffy story number two down in the books Nate Craig is with us follow all of his dates Nate Craig duck when we come back here tell you about what we've got going on. It's all coming up on Dunkin' Donuts. Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't. Stick around, make a sound, there's more Dunkin' Donuts in town. I wanna talk about our sponsor, Chewy. We love these guys. Anybody who makes animals happy makes me happy.

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and we see that Chewy box and we're so happy, but we bought dog beds from them, we bought harnesses from them. Didn't you get those bones that they love? These two little bones that they just love more than anything in the world. They have two like, these wishbones and they just love them so much. So I can't say enough good things about Chewy and I'm

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Guys, question to both of you and I'll answer it too. What is something that you would love to learn? As an adult, we kind of stop finding those things that we want to learn. We lose that sort of curiosity a little bit because you're stuck in your ways. What is something you would love to learn how to do? I speak Spanish.

Yeah, it's fun. Little language exercise. That's right. I think sing. I would like to, I'm not a great singer, but I bet if I took vocal lessons or tried to figure it out. Guarantee you could. I could get better.

Yes, 100%. I could be my best version of myself. Like Ariana from Vanderpump. Yeah, I wanna. You can get better. I wanna learn how to cook, and really learn how to cook, so that I can kind of take. Like Ariana from Vanderpump. Yeah, you can get better. I wanna learn how to cook, and like really learn how to cook so that I can like kind of take,

yeah, like complicated things. Sure. But we forget, okay, so here's the thing. We forget that we have that capacity to go for new things. Why? Because we get into the ruts of our lives, we get into these things where we lose track and lose touch with that part of ourselves

that's trying something. And I think a big use. Therapy can get you there. Exactly, because we don't set aside a part, a time in our life to talk to somebody about these curiosities, about these wonders, to take inventory of like, you know what I'd like to try and do? Like to really do that, to just not get caught up

in the constant commute of life. So I love that BetterHelp offers kind of like that perspective on those things, because we tend to think of therapy as one way but wait it can help you unlock certain potentials so if you're thinking of starting therapy give better help a try it's entirely online it's designed to be convenient flexible and suited to your schedule so you can schedule a time to talk about these things and then find the time to reignite your sense of wonder just fill out a brief questionnaire

and you get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. I'll tell you what to do. Alright, rediscover your curiosity with Better Help. Visit betterhelp.com slash dbt today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp.com slash dbt. Hey guys, welcome back to the show. Before we get into the final story, Jay, let them know how people can see us. Yeah, so if this drops, we'll be in Ann Arbor on the 27th.

We're doing a show at the. September 27th. September 27th at Michigan Theater. It's a gigantic theater. We are borderline terrified that there won't be people. Why would you put that into fucking... I'm not, I'm just saying. You guys are going to Anaheim.

It's gonna be great. It's gonna be a blast. It's gonna be a blast. I love it. You spent one of the greatest runs in Michigan history. We were a part of it. With people being so amped. We hosted the pep rally.

To see you here, to see you in Houston. Yes. And now you're gonna tell all these people, guess what, let's re-rack it. Rack it. Let's re-rack it. Come-rack it. Let's re-rack it. Come see the big house indoors. That's right, so we're gonna do that on Friday night, games on Saturday night, it's parents' weekend,

or it's family weekend. Alumni weekend. Alumni weekend. So we got your Friday night plan. We got you set. We're going to Vegas for the first time. We've never been to Vegas and we're not even performing on the strip.

Never performed in Vegas. Never. We've been to Vegas. We performed at corporate gigs. Dan saw us perform at a Winnebago conference. That's hilarious. Where Dan walks in, Dan walks in to see us, and the first tables are like a mile away from the stage. Dan's like, damn, you could drive a Winnebago through there.

They're no joke 35 yards. Yeah, no joke, 35 yards. From the stage to the first table to 35 yards. You could drive a Winnebago through there. They did, they did. That's why. They did earlier in the day. Parade Winnebago's through. We should have jumped From the stage to the first table to 35 years. You could drive a Winnebago through there. They did. That's why. They did earlier in the day. They had a parade Winnebago's through.

We should have jumped off the stage and just done the set down. We were so dumb. That's how green and dumb we were. We were so far away. Why? What are you talking about? Whatever. You had a great set.

We muscled through 45 minutes. 43 to 45 minutes. This is so funny. The green room was in a Winnebago. Oh my God. And we walked out with Dan afterwards and took you out to dinner. Yeah, we went to Nobu.

Yeah, we took him out to dinner because we're like, we gotta do something. We gotta wash his hair. Anyways, Wise Guys. So Wise Guys, we're coming to a great comedy club that's off the strip, but sort of Las Vegas people come to see shows there. It's supposedly one of the best clubs out there.

We love Keith Stubbs, and we really wanna do a good job because I think that could be a great spot for us to come back to from time to time. Wise guys. It's the middle of October, like 16th. And then we're going to the Comedy Fort first weekend of November.

Boom. And then we're gonna be at the Flyover Comedy Fest. We're headlining, we're doing a show at the Sheldon Theater on Saturday night, the 16th. Another big theater. It's in St. Louis, homecoming. So that's a big one for us. And the night before we're doing a Tag It.

If we can get Dan there the night before, we'll tag his jokes. Really excited about that. So that's a big one for us. And the night before we're doing a Tag It. If we can get Dan there the night before, we'll tag his jokes. Really excited about that. Then in Los Angeles, we're doing our two-man show. We wrote a stage show, a theater show, sort of around a lot of our comedy that we're really proud of. We're working so hard on it,

and really trying to create a theatrical show that we feel like has some legs. And we've got investors interested, and we're going to put it up three times here in LA to really learn about it. At the Lyric Hyperion in December 9th, the 9th, the 12th, and the 16th. Is this a show about the differences

of the Sklar brother brains? This is a little bit. It's a show about identity, and it's a show about how we went searching for our identity in an external way based on something our mom did when we were six weeks old. Yeah, don't give it away. And we found it in a very different place which says a lot about us as a society needing

to spend more time creating our identities instead of curating our identities and that's the show. And it's really fun and filled with all our material and it's also some cool stories from our lives. We're really proud of it. So we'd love to see it. I love it. That's exciting.

Yeah, so that's in December. Where are you doing it? Lyric Hyperion. Oh, fucking awesome. Yeah, a couple times here. All right, you ready? Yep. Let's jump into this.

Here we go. This says sent in by Matthew Freeman at Not Your Average Matt. Yes, sir. Watch, quote, wild moment cops arrest man in leopard print pajamas with gerbils down his pants. By mistake or? How'd these get in the house? Wild video captured the moment a man wearing

a leopard print pajama set was arrested by police with hamsters down his pants. This guy has another gear. After allegedly breaking into a pet store. No one gave me anything on that. That's all right. I was. He did stick him up.

Anyway. I was waiting for the drama place. Drama. He first, he stuck up a, he held up a. No, it's not alleged. Our friend's a doctor. It's not alleged. Our friend's dad is a radiologist.

He was on call. And he went to the hospital and he saw the actual x-rays. There was a gerbil. We're like, why don't you have those x-rays? He's like, no, no, it's real. He said it's real. This guy would not lie to us.

He's a no BS, had no reason to BS us. Matthew, you ready for the name of this guy? You're not gonna believe the name of this guy. Better than Jeffrey Treffi? Better? Treffi Jeffrey Treffi? Better? Treffi. Treffi. Treffi.

Almost as good as Robert Ravioli. No. Who was a psychologist. Psychologist Robert Ravioli. Yes, Robert. Are you ready for the man who held up a pet store in leopard pajamas. And stuck up.

Jerbills uptown. With gerbils uptown. Matthew Bollinez. You ready for his name? Filled his leopard print nightie, onesie. Full grown man with gerbils uptown. Matthew Bollinez. You ready for his name? Filled his leopard print nightie, onesie, full grown man with gerbils. With gerbils.

Just chucking the gerbils down the tunnel. Leopard pants. Leopard pants. Matthew Pancake. Come on! That's a flapjack. Is flapjack. Was charged with breaking and entering and vandalism

after several stores were burgled. Jack Flap. Jack Flap on the west side of Columbus, Ohio. Well, there you go. Good old Matty Pancake. According to Columbus, police officers responded to reports of a break-in in a local restaurant in the early hours of Tuesday

where they obtained video surveillance footage of a man in leopard print pajamas inside. Was his eye hop? I gotta get comfortable if I'm gonna do these. Do you think he went to sleep and was like, I can't sleep, what am I gonna do? I feel like he broke in to stay. Maybe, this is where I live now. So that's way too casual. It's just like flying on airplanes.

All of our criminals have just lost any sense of style. Remember when criminals used to wear three-piece suits? You care about what you're doing. You think D.B. Cooper was in a juicy couture? No. So let's say no. Have some self respect pancakes. Your name is Matthew Pancake.

Act like it. If your name is Matthew Pancake, put some respect on that man's name. Put some respect and syrup on that man's name. If your name is Matthew Pancake, you never get a nickname. It's done already. If your name is Matthew Pancake, you never get a nickname. It's done already. If your name is Matthew Pancake, I'm calling you short stack. Maybe cakes.

Maybe cakes. Buckwheat. His name's already Pancake. Why do you guys call him Pancake? It's his last name. That's his last name. Because in about 20 minutes, he'll be laying face down on the curb.

We're gonna flatten his ass, yeah. About 100 yards away, officers found that the pet land store was also broken into with several animals seen running around in the parking lot. That's not good. That's not good. He's Jumanjiing it. Mm-hmm.

Pantcake Jumanjied it. Police recovered how many dogs? Oh boy. Oh, fuck. I don't know. I hate pet stores so much. Pet stores are bad. covered how many dogs? I hate pet stores so much. Pet stores are bad. Two dogs, multiple birds, a hamster, and at least two rabbits.

At least. Only two dogs. Oh geez. Columbus only got two. Columbus police sergeant. Noah's Ark over here. Yeah, they're getting out of there. Sergeant Joe Albert said,

officers are still searching for animals, including a ferret. That ferret's gone. I want to break free. Yeah, right. I'm gonna show you his picture. And we're gonna. He empathized with the animals.

He's, wow. Maddie Pancakes. Man, that is not a pancake. Man, that is a. That's a cement cheekbone burn. Oh man, dude. He's a good looking guy. You know what?

I'm gonna say that's a good looking guy. He's got a good jaw structure. He's got a good look. You know what? Cheap bone burn right there. Oh man dude. He's a good looking guy. I'm gonna say that's a good looking guy. He's got a good jaw structure. He's got a good look. You know what, it's, I see, somewhere down there I see pancakes. Right, pancakes? This is like a background. Matty Pancakes.

Somewhere on, somewhere on. Matty Pancakes. Somewhere underneath all that pain. Hey yo Matty Pancakes, get over here with the gerbils in your pants. Through the bars, through the tiny little bars of his own pet store cage. Some people just look like a bully.

I see pancakes back there. Yeah, he's in there. I see pancakes in those eyes. Quote. Listen to what he said. The school day. Picture day, picture day. Third grade.

Police sergeant. Pancake shows up. You can tell by looking at that guy, someone didn't love him enough. Right. Somebody didn't make him. He's got a 90's goatee. Pancakes. So if I'm tell by looking at that guy, someone didn't love him enough. Right. Somebody didn't make him. He's got a 90s goatee. Pancakes.

So if I'm pancakes in general, by the way, I'm wondering why waffles got chicken. How did waffles get chicken mixed with them? And you're like, we're out here doing the same damn thing. We're out here. We're a bread-like thing. We're a saucer. We're a circle.

It's not tough enough. We're close. We're like a pupusa. You can't pick up a pancake. I'll tell you why're like a pupusa. You can't pick up a pancake. I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. A seamless pupusa. Pancakes didn't need it.

Pancakes didn't need it. Waffles needed it. You know what, waffles? You can have it. Chicken is like your prop comic. Take your prop and get outta here. If you're pancakes and you've already got the Mickey Mouse game on lock,

do you think you're like, have it, Waf? When you say if you're a pancake, you're talking about Maddie Pancakes, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, Maddie Pancake, hey! He's not allowed in Disney World. By the way, named after what his dad never made him. That's right.

Never made him. If he's not around, he can't make it. If he's not around, he can't make it. And you know what he calls his son? Mini pancake. By the way, I'm pancakes now. That's right. Yeah? I'm pancake. I the way, I'm pancakes now. That's right. Yeah? I'm pancake.

I'm the captain now. One day you're running for after a suspect, the next day you're running after ferrets and bunnies, said the police chief. Yeah, all right, it's true. To no one who asked, no one asked. Yeah. Just to the clouds.

That's probably just his Facebook. While searching the area for missing animals, officers also discovered that a famous footwear store, the famous footwear store on Hilliard Rome Road was broken into. Albert said it's believed that Pancake is connected to the break-ins in all three businesses. He's a cereal burglar.

Well, he's not a cereal, he's a pancake. Well, if you're gonna go on the run. That's what I was saying. If you're gonna go on the run, you wanna start out at a food place. That's right. It's wrong breakfast. Officers also found blood on the scene

and believed that the suspect was injured. Well, he's gotta cut on his face. Yeah. Probably from an animal. Sure. Pancake, but I do am sad that if you cut him open, syrup doesn't come out. That's right. Pancake was found. What's your lots on Roberts Road shortly before what time?

Sleeping in front of a big lots? Yeah, you skipped over shit there. Sleeping in front of a big lot? You got animals running around a parking lot. A pile of animals wearing ill-fitted shoes. Sleeping in front of a big lot? Yeah, you're right. Sleeping in front of a big lot.

Sleeping in front of a big lot. Sleeping in front of a big lot. Sleeping in front of a big lot? Yeah, you skipped over shit there. Sleeping in front of a big lot. You got animals running around a parking lot. You got a pile of animals wearing ill-fitted shoes. Who put the shoes? They like it. Who put all these ferrets? Who put these ASICs on a dog? They like it.

They don't like it. Hey, that ferret does not like hokas. I'm starting to see a little glimmer back in pancake sites. Okay? Pancakes getting it all fired up again. I'm starting to see a little glimmer back in pancake sides. Okay? Pancakes getting it all fired up again. I don't care what they say about comfort. That ferret does not like those hokas. Who, who, who is making this sheep dog wear cracks again?

Wait, she said what time did they find it sleeping? What time did they find pancakes sleeping in front of the big lots? What time? I'm gonna go 3.30 a.m. I'm gonna say 4 a.m. Discovered by the manager of a Big Lots. At what time?

At 7.15 a.m. When he's openin' it up. Get your answers in, Townies, because they found him shortly before 5 a.m. There you go. Close, close. Officers arrested him and then discovered there were how many gerbils in his pants?

Sif, three. I can't find shoes for the gerbil. I need pads for these gerbils. I hate pet stores and I hate this guy, but I'm gonna go three. The gerbils will not hurt. Three, how many do you think? Two, how many gerbils?

They're at least traumatized. Two gerbils. Hey Craig, how many gerbils were in this guy's pants? Can't keep that many gerbils. He's got leopard traumatized. Two gerbils. Hey Craig, how many gerbils were in this guy's pants? He can't keep that many gerbils. He's got leopard pants for God's sake. They're pajama bottoms. I know. He's just got, he's just got,

He probably tucked them in those socks. He's got a nice, he's got a nice conservative five gerbils in his pajamas. He tucked them in. Okay, are those gerbils in your pants? You just excited? Those are actually gerbils. Both.

On my pants. Both? The gerbils by the way were not hurt, according to WSYS. He couldn't find shoes. Couldn't find slippers for The gerbils, by the way, were not hurt, according to WSYS. He couldn't find shoes. Couldn't find slippers for the gerbils. Four gerbils. Four! Wow.

You guys danced around it like he danced around in his pants. Pancake was taken to the hospital to be treated for his injuries. He was later booked into the Franklin County jail. It's very odd, Albert said. Obviously, we don't know what this individual is going through.

The independent has reached out to the Columbus Police for more information about the incident, but they don't have it. We'll get out of here on this, so I'll show you the picture one more time. Matty Pancakes. How old is Matty Pancakes? Matty Pancakes.

How old is Matty Pancakes? Little Matty Pancake. With a side of sausages. Little Matty Pancake. Love that. Sleeping by big lots. With gerbils in his leopard pants. I'm gonna go 38 years old.

With gerbils in his leopard pants and dogs inside of crocs. That's great. What'd you say, 38? 38. 38, he looks 46. I think he's pretty young, I think that's meth. I think that's meth, just leaning on him real good. Yeah. He's a, What are you going with meth. I think that's meth, just leaning on him real good. Yeah.

What are you going with, Nate? That's a 31 year old man. Okay, what do you think? 29. Okay. One of you is exactly right. Oh, that's me. 29, you staying?

I'm staying at 38. You staying at 31? Yeah. Okay. Get your answers in, Tony. Go see Nate Craig. natecraig.com, dandivankirk.com, superschoolers.com. Come see us live.

This is how we do what we do and how we get a chance. I'm just gonna say this real quick. We're in a moment in our industry where things aren't getting made, where people are hustling and scraping. The good news is the live shows are a lot of fun. These guys are touring, this guy's touring. Go see live comedy.

It's never been better. Everybody's sitting, Hollywood has stopped buying kids. Everybody's working on their act, it's tight. Go see a show, buy a ticket. Agreed. Take the ride, don't look back. 100%, it's so helpful and we love seeing you guys out there. All right, good ol' Matty Pancakes.

31 stack of pancakes. Is 31 years old. Hey! Give it to him! of pancakes. Is 31 years old. Hey! Damn it, Joel! 31 pancakes. It's a great way to get out of here. Boom, 31 flavors, 31 pancakes. Five gerbils, all named Sausage. Four gerbils.

It's like a sausage festival. Four gerbils, each one named Butter Pat. All right, guys, that is the show. We love you. And oh, snap, we got to get back to work. Oh, snap. Stick right, guys, that is the show. We love you, and oh snap, we gotta get back to work. Oh snap! Stick around, make a sound. There's more to PeopleTown.