Dumb People Town - Nate Craig - The Cave That Ate Dave

Episode Date: August 31, 2021

This week Nate Craig comes to town to hang with Daniel, Jason and Randy. The first story is about a journey down a river. The second story is a fun way to start a fire in a Taco Bell. The final story is about a man who dug himself into a hole.

Skypains, out of here. Hey, Townies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population U. Population Craig. Nate Craig. Welcome to the show again, buddy. Population U. Population Craig. Nate Craig. Welcome to the show again, buddy. Hey, buddy. Always good to be in town. Friend of the show.

Good to have you here. People loved you from the first time you've been on this show. We're so happy to have you back. You are a world champion. I have an emotional attachment to your fan base. And you're right, also the Milwaukee Bucks. Yeah, world champ. Goal box.

Goal box, world champ. You know what makes me most happy about this championship is that the state of Arizona has to hate it. But even if you weren't on the side of your head, that's what I love about sports is you are rolling. And it feels like it's meant to go your way, but then it just doesn't, which is why when you do eventually win, it's all worth it because it does feel like in four, like sets up, like all that stuff.

I know, yeah. And then it doesn't – and I just – when I see stuff like that, whether I'm in the fan base or outside both fan bases, I'm like, this is why I love sports. Dan, when you won yours, before the rain delay, Cleveland, when they tied it up, they were on fire. I was in the bleachers for game four. I got to also go to game six. I was in the bleachers for game four, and I remember saying to myself,

I won't be mad if they lose to the Indians. That's sports. And the Indians are as long-suffering as the Cubs. You were hedging. No, because I think of teams. There were teams I would have been mad. You guys hedged. I've heard you hedge. Oh, they hedged. But I genuinely... i was hanging out

with cleveland people before that game six and like no it was really hard to have been mad that that team won like i would have been like okay that you know no i i know exactly and the bucks went down in flames the last two years so it was uh i was just happy for you because i know how it's it's not not to we don't to, we'll do sports on our podcast, but I'm just saying, I'm just really happy for you because I know it's just a happy moment outside of our lives. This fits this podcast. The emotional investment in your sports team is one of the dumbest things people do.

Why is it occupying so much goddamn space? It's so dumb. And the dumb things people do when their team wins. Like they trash their city as if they lost. I was very proud of Milwaukee. They didn't trash their city as if they lost i was very proud of milwaukee they didn't trash the city milwaukee was were you there all love i was in milwaukee i was in milwaukee for game five and six and uh now i did see uh i did see a dune buggy wrapped around a foam pole but that might have been unrelated that could have been post fish fry

the sand dunes of Wisconsin? You can find a dune. I'm going to go dune buggy racing. Where are you going? Up in Wisconsin. North Avenue. Wrong way. Standstill traffic.

Go bucks. All right. Well, clearly you've seen some dumb stuff in recent times. We do believe it's getting dumber. Dan, let's just jump into a story. Okay, you ready? Yeah. Louisiana man, this is so dumb,

arrested after jumping into a river. Here we go. Wait, is that a crime? Well, you should be able to jump in a river. You should be able to jump. If you're naked, I don't know that you can. Go jump in a river. By one of our loyal townies, Jake Groney,

at Jake Groney, G-R-O-N-I-E. Lafayette, Louisiana. A Louisiana man made a decision that could have been deadly. Instead, it got him in trouble. Jimmy Jennings. That's already Jimmy JJ. What's JJ doing? Where'd JJ go?

Someone know where JJ... You got eyes on JJ. My heart checked a river. Jimmy Jennings. Pot of gumbo on. JJ got to get in herenings. Check the river. Jimmy Jennings. Pot of gumbo on. JJ got to get in here. Someone check the river. Loved being on and still wholeheartedly loves his high school baseball team.

Jimmy Jennings loves his high school baseball team. If Jimmy Jennings can't make it to the game, someone will just put out a lawn chair and say he may come. Do you think Jimmy Jennings? If he's not in the river. Does it feel like even with that name, you know he speaks in third person? I'm going to tell you what Jimmy Jennings. I'm going to tell you what JJ is saying. Jimmy Jennings? He's not in the Rebel. Does it feel like even with that name, you know he speaks in third person? I'm going to tell you what Jimmy Jennings. I'm going to tell you what JJ's saying. Jimmy Jennings will not eat there anymore.

And here's why. Jimmy Jennings is banned from three chilis. Jimmy Jennings thinks he's on the Amazing Race. JJ has called the newspaper to complain about the box score for his old house. Oh, yeah. Jimmy Jennings has written a letter to the editor. That's not a hold. That's not a hold.

Oh, yeah. Jimmy Jennings wrote a letter to the internet. That's not a hold. That's not a hold. Jimmy Jennings of Lafayette is seen on video jumping from Interstate 10 in Butte La Rose on Friday into the, I'm going to do my best, Atchafalala. I don't even know. Atchafalala? Falea?

Atchafalala? Atchafalala. That's my best guess. Atchafalala River below. Jennings told- I'm willing to bet they say Atchafalala. Atchafalala. That's my best guess. Atchafalaya River below. Jennings told- I'm willing to bet they say Atchafalaya. Atchafalaya. He sold KATCTV.

He got the idea while he was stranded in standstill traffic on the bridge due to a 10-car pile up up ahead. So they are in a standstill traffic jam. Okay. He's on the bridge. We've all been there. He's on the bridge. He's like, how do I get out of this? He says,

I'm going to just jump off into the river. I'll leave my car here so I block other people. That's right. And just hop in the river. JJ don't stand still. That's right. JJ keep moving. Corey Vaughn, a friend of Jennings,

who was with him at the time of the stunt and recorded the video. Of course. Of course. Told WBRZ. Where are you going? Where are you going? And he posted it.

Where are you going? We are familiar with the water. That is some weird. That is. That's like saying we're Bayou people. We are familiar with the water, but I don't think he was prepared for what came with it. We're familiar with it. What do you mean?

What came with it? He could be talking about life. Yeah. We know life. We are familiar with the water is the most cryptic thing that anyone's ever said. We are familiar with the water. We are a swamp of people. I'm familiar with the water.

I'm familiar with the water. I'm familiar with the water. I'm familiar with it. How familiar are you? Hey, man. Hey, man. I'm familiar with the water. Dude, I'm familiar with the water. I'm familiar with it. How familiar are you? Hey, man. Hey, man. I'm familiar with the water. Dude, I'm familiar with the water.

Have you ever jumped in a lake before or a river? I am familiar with it. This is like the way you answer in a courtroom. I am familiar with the water. If you know. Then you might be familiar with the water. If you are familiar with the water, you may jump off a bridge during a 10-car pilot. But I don't think he was prepared for what came with it, which is also oddly cryptic.

That's life, dude. When I hit the water, my shoulder went up. I kind of hurt my shoulder, but I started swimming, Jimmy Jennings said. Only way to test if your shoulders hurt is you start the old throw. Start working it. I couldn't get back to the bank because the current was way too strong. Right. So this is the moment where he's like, a second he jumps off the bridge, he's like, I shouldn't

have done this. One, didn't know how to land in the water. Nope. Two, thought he would just swim over to the bank, maybe climb up and then walk because there's no traffic so he could get back to his car. That's my... I think this started as a wager. Right.

Well, yeah. I bet you I'm making get back to his car. I think this started as a wager. Right. Well, yeah. I bet you I might get back to the car before this traffic. But you know why you avoid on one of the reasons? Before this traffic moves. That's what it is. Before this traffic moves. That's how frustrated I am. And then he goes, his Vaughn, and goes, you going to take that there?

I bet you. Who else? What's the guy's name again? I blame Corey. Are you ready for this spelling? It's a fucking southern-ass spelling of names. Remember I've told you the weirdest names are small towns in the south. But also there's a French thing going on in Louisiana.

Yeah, it's like a- K-H-O-R-Y. Corey. K-H-O-R-Y. It'd be Corey. Corey. Corey. Corey.

Corey. Corey. Corey. Corey Vaughan. Corey Vaughan. Corey Vaughan. You gonna take that bet? You gonna take that bet?

I got $50 in an open hurricane that you ain't going to take that bet. And by the way, both these guys are white. Can I say something to all of our townies and to the three of you? This actually happens a lot in the Ozarks, so you guys might already know this. Here's the reason you never jump off of a bridge. Now, if you go, people have been jumping off that bridge for 60 years, then fine, jump off that bridge. But the reason you never just go, I know it's deep here. I'm fine, is because bridges were at one time construction

sites. And do you know what's in the water under bridges a lot of times? Rebar. That's right. And people will jump and find rebar in the worst way possible. Oh, yeah. Do not do that. Now, if you go, oh, everybody jumps here. It's fine. Then you know it. Go for it. But when you don't know, don't do it.

I know. Picturing just hitting rebar jj i know i know but he jumps off jj died for cory soon jj he has southern in the way it's phonetically written southern it's a horrible idea the jump sent off a search for Jennings, who's now caught in the current. I stayed in the water for probably about... I had a watch on. I looked at it for probably about how long... Do you think he was... Remember, he wanted to jump out, swim to the bank, climb back up, go get in the car.

How long do you think he says he was in the water? Does he do it with his shoes on? He says. Well, because he was. But I mean, it's his watch. He saw his head. He saw his watch. He checked his watch. How long was he in the water?

I'm imagining other drivers jumping in after him. I think he's in the water for 45 minutes. 45 minutes. Okay. I think he's in there for two hours. Two hours. I think he was in there for 30 minutes. Okay.

He looked at his watch, and his little swim turned into him being in the water for three hours. What? He is down river. Yeah. He is down. He's gone. He gone. He gone.

I thought I was going to die, but God saved me, Joe. God did not save you. Did Satan throw you off the bridge? If God saved you, who threw you off the goddamn bridge? God doesn't care about you. The fact that you're in the water at all proves there is no God. You know what it does prove? JJ don't stand still. JJ don't stand still.

You got to keep moving. You got to keep moving. He eventually found himself on land again. This is where it gets real fun. Found himself on land again? This is where it gets really fun. Jimmy Jennings spent approximately an hour on an ATV. Does not describe how he procured this ATv how he got an atv wow he got an atv to start wet approximately wet an hour

on an atv trying to find his way back to the bridge oh my god it was then he realized he was on an island. Guys. JJ. He gets land. JJ don't play. He gets land. He gets land. Oh, God. Oh, an ATV. He's in Grand Theft Auto. Yeah, right.

Now we're in the situation. Don't steal an ATV on an island. That's right. No. Because you'll get caught. There's no way you're going to get caught. But then that begs the question, how'd they get the ATV onto the island? But then him for an hour being like, this has got to be the right way.

He's like Winnie the Pooh walking through the 100-acre woods. So then... No pants? No pants. You definitely know he's got... But shoes and socks. I love the idea of Jimmy Jennings

realizing he's on an island. Like, he's like, uh-oh. Damn it. Damn it. I've been here. I went in a circle. Here I am again.

Also, the ATV. It doesn't say. No. It was pretty crazy getting back to shore. I had to walk where I was at. I couldn't even see the bridge anymore. So eventually, he must leave the island. Dude, you're gone, man.

Finished. Three hours. Jennings said he found a house and tried locating anyone for help. Yeah. First good movies made all day. But also, the only reason he asked too is because of the bad movie made. Right. That's right.

Ready for this? At that point, he also found a boat and took it around to get back to civilization. Oh, so this is how he got off the island. He got it, found a boat. He has now gone car, river, ATV, boat. What's next? Still not back to the bridge. I want him on a helicopter.

I want him hang gliding. He took the boat. Jetpack. Gets back to civilization. Also, how far out of civilization were you? You were somewhere within ATV about to house. Dan's in Louisiana. He's already far from civilization.

Three hours in a strong current. Yeah, he's down there. You can go 20 miles. He's down there. Yeah. Three hours. You go 20 miles. You've been tubing.

He takes a boat. He has not asked anyone for... I mean, he is a non-permission. He's out there. Yeah. Three hours. You go 20 miles. You've been tubing. He takes a boat. He has not asked anyone for, I mean, he is a non-permission. He's a forgiveness guy. He is not a permission guy. I will do this and ask for forgiveness later. He takes the boat, gets back to civilization. That's when he was met by police. Of course.

Stole a boat. They were telling me to get on the ground, get on the ground, and they put me in handcuffs, which I imagine hurt because he fucked up his shoulder. That's right. His shoulder, dude. Oh, Jesus. He's doing this all with a bad rotator that's right dude he's screwed saint martin paris sheriff's office said jennings was cited for criminal mischief and and criminal trespassing jennings later wrote on facebook that jumping was a bad decision and he credited rescue crews with saving his life so let me say this. In a world where people double down on bad stuff,

and that's where we are in this world right now, I am actually refreshed to hear him say it was a bad decision, like to say that something he did was wrong. Because a lot of times people would be like, well, Well, you got to touch fire to know it's hot. That's right. Or you got to hit water to get wet. It did say that he found himself.

That's right. He did. He found himself on an ATV. On an island. On an ATV. On an island. It did say that he found himself. That's right. He did. He found himself on an ATV. On an island. On an ATV. On an island. It came across him that this all was due to bad decisions. We did the report.

He's like, maybe Jimmy Jennings ain't doing life right. That's right. Who are you talking to, man? Maybe JJ needs to get stuck in traffic. Sometimes JJ doesn't make the right call. But we've done that before. You've like, traffic's really bad. It's not moving.

You don't know what's going on. So you turn your car around to go a different way. And you get stuck a different way. He just turned his life around. He turned his life down a wrong path. Yeah, he jumped into it. All right, that's story number one. Oh, my God.

There's a crazy character, Jimmy James. Jimmy Jennings. Jimmy Jennings. Jimmy Jennings. That's my favorite sandwich, Jimmy Jennings. Jimmy Jennings. Jimmy Jennings. That's my favorite sandwich. Jimmy Jennings. Jimmy Jennings. There you go. Story number one down in the books.

We'll talk to Nate Craig about what he's got going on. If he's doing live stuff, you definitely want to see it. Get it out. We'll do that on the other side of this break. It's Dumb People Town. Don't go anywhere. Stick around. Make a sound.

There's more Dumb People Town. Hey, guys. Welcome back to the show. We, as Nate is calling up his dates, you can go see him live. We want to mention Dan Van Kirk is out in the world doing shows and killing it. So this is the end of August right now. This will drop on the 31st. Yeah, so this is the Together Again tour.

So September, what do you got going on? Yeah, so everybody needs to look. I'll be at High Plains Comedy Festival and then new york buffalo rochester albany uh looks like pittsburgh and then i'm hitting up the pacific northwest we've got seattle and portland so go to danielvancurk.com if you are a member of my patreon it's only five bucks a month there are meet and greets for every single show unless it's something where they're like you guys got to fuck out of here we have a metal band coming in uh in but so go to Daniel Van Kirk for all those dates

there are limited capacity still due to restrictions in some places so they will sell out some already have I would love to get together with you love it Kirk we've got a patreon squad brothers patreon.com slash squad brothers first time we've done new episodes of cheap seats in 15 years still great so slap

international so it was our first one. So fun. I'm more excited. It was great, but I'm more excited for the competition, the high dive, and then bags, and then that weird... Cornhole and then Kabaddi. Cornhole and Kabaddi are the two, which by the way, Cornhole and Kabaddi,

the new Rizzoli and Isles. You know what? That's the closest it's been in a long time. So Kabaddi is like an Indian. Don't shoot, player. He knew where we were going. He knew what was coming. Playground game that became a sport that is the most ridiculous thing that we don't understand.

It needs a ball. It needs other rules. Don't tell. I want people to go in blind to what's happening and to your jokes. So again, those are the four that we recorded, and that'll be up through November. Five bucks a month. Get on that, too. Come on.

Get on it. It's a great way to support us and get new content that's only exclusively there for you. Nate Craig, you are on the road a little bit here and there. Where are you? I am. You can check out allmydaysonatecraig.com. I don't have a Patreon, but you can buy my albums everywhere.

All of them are so good. Everywhere. Follow me on Spotify. Preferred. Preferred customer is the last one. All Things Comedy. You can find that at All Things them are so good. Everywhere. Follow me on Spotify. Preferred. Preferred customer is the last one. All Things Comedy. You can find that at All Things Comedy on their YouTube channel. So freaking good.

Thank you, guys. My Kabaddi will be in Fort Collins, Colorado. Oh, nice. I heard that room is awesome, by the way. At the Comedy Fort. Comedy Fort. I heard that room is amazing. That's all I've heard.

And I'm super excited. Guy Ronch is supposed to be super cool. D-Rod, David Rodriguez, great guy. And Brent Gill, they're awesome. The whole team up there is amazing. That's all I've heard. And I'm super excited. Guy Runch is supposed to be super cool. D-Rod, David Rodriguez, great guy. And Brent Gill, they're awesome. The whole team up there is great. I'm honored to be going there. That's going to be September 10th and 11th. And then I'll be at Mark Ridley's Comedy Castle on October 28th, 29th

and 30th. And I mean, all the way through the end of the year, if you're Milwaukee, I'll be at the Laughing Tap on New Year's Eve. Nice, man. I'll be up there on my tour as well. It's already happened when this drops, but I can't wait. So check out. Love it. All right.

Shall we jump into another story? You ready? Okay. Here we go. This is Dumb People Town. Here we go. Sent in by Daniel Smith, at Daniel underscore Smith 89. You can do it, Daniel.

I love seeing stories from new people that I haven't heard of before. Great to have townies. First time in a long time. First time in a long time. All you got to do, just like Daniel did, and this Daniel's telling you, at Daniel Van Kirk with the link. You can give the headline if you want to, and then hashtag Dumb People Town. That's how I find these.

That's how I know. It's all through Twitter. Thank you, Daniel Smith. That's how he knows who was first. Ready? Yep. A woman was arrested Monday. She is accused of starting a fire while playing with fireworks inside of a Taco Bell in Nashville

with several other employees. So she works for Taco Bell. They all work for Taco Bell. No, I think she's friends with people who work for Taco Bell. Other. Other is the operative word. Other employees. Other employees.

So she is an employee. Wait, wait. Okay. Dan. Dan. I mean, this is like, hey, what are we going to do? Are we going to make some of this barbacoa tacos? This is why it's hard to get dinner and dumb people down.

Because you might get there, and there's a goddamn fireworks fight happening inside the Taco Bell. Inside of a Taco Bell. And those people aren't going to be kicked out because they work there. So the idea of fireworks being shot off and ricocheting. The taco is running the bell. I ordered a Sierra Blast, but this is ridiculous. They don't have Sprite there. How do I know that?

Because my son. You wanted fire sauce? Sierra Blast. Sierra Blast. That's what it's called. Dude, that is a Sierra. That is a Sierra Blast and a bladder racket. The years of you guys telling me, Dan, don't eat that stuff, and now your children, specifically Jay's,

making him get all the worst things at the weirdest times in the world. And I know all of it. I know all of them. So Jay's son's sitting with my kids, and he's like, you know what's really great? What's really great? And I'm like, what? I cannot wait to hear what he's going to say.

It's really great. 12-year-old son. He's like, pizza at 7-Eleven. I'm like, do not eat that. He's like, pizza at 7-Eleven. I'm like, do not eat at 7-Eleven. He's like, no, it's great. Pizza at Casey's gas station in the Midwest. Actually, that's fine. Their breakfast pizza is so good.

We had it Christmas morning once. Sam, there's barbecue at gas stations. You wait. Barbecue at gas stations in Texas. That's amazing. And in Louisiana. Fried chicken at gas stations. But I'll say this.

He then went to Six six flags with my daughter yes when we're recording this yesterday okay they went to six flags together spent the whole day i love more than anything george and leah went to six flags together she's my daughter's gonna is 14 and his son's like 12 and a half almost 13 so they went and hung out all day and i was like george Georgia, what'd you get? She's like, chicken strips. She bought chicken strips for lunch. I'm like, that's what you get at Six Flags. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Liev, what'd you get?

Sushi. I'm like, no! No! No! No! What is going on in your house, Jason? It's like, dude. I'm like a deacon at church.

Jay, you need to get your house in order. I can lead a horse to water. I can't make your house in order. I can lead a horse to water. I can't make him eat nachos. Look, he loves Domino's garlic knots. Well, you love Domino's. All right, so I'm just saying, like, yes, we are doomed to repeat the sins that we, you know, through our kids. Look, Randy and I used to eat 10 tacos after a drunken night each. I loved it, man.

10 tacos to go from Taco Bell in high school. Ten back in high school. Five soft, five hard. I'd go there after summer hockey. Yeah. There you go. As Matt Bronger, as the great Matt Bronger who just did this podcast would say, you got to soak up the night.

You do. You know, you drank a lot. You drank a lot. You drank a lot. You drank a lot. You drank a lot. You drank a lot. You drank a lot.

You drank a lot. You drank a lot. You drank a lot. You drank a lot. You drank a lot. You drank a lot. You drank a lot. You drank a lot.

You drank a lot. You drank a lot. You drank a lot. You drank a lot. You drank a lot. You drank a lot. You drank a lot. You drank a lot.

You drank a lot. You drank a lot. You drank a lot. You drank a lot. You drank a lot. You drank a lot. You drank a lot. You drank a lot.

You drank a lot. You drank a lot. You drank a lot. You drank a lot. You drank a lot. You drank a lot. You drank a lot. You drank a lot.

You drank a lot. You drank a lot. You drank a lot. You drank a lot. You drank a lot. You drank a lot. You drank a lot. You drank a lot.

You drank a lot. You drank a All right, well, the Nashville Fire Department said the incident happened at the Taco Bell located on 5510 Nolensville Pike. If anyone wants to make that part of the walking tour. Courtney Mays, currently jailed for aggravated felony arson, was the shift leader at the time of the fire. She's our leader. Was she the shift leader? First of all, all y'all, do as I do and as I say. We're going to light this thing up.

Get out your explosives. Explosives. Felony. Arson. Easy Taco Bell. I agree. Easy Taco Bell. Arson is like an intent to burn the place down.

Right. Somebody could put napalm off in your kitchen. Be aggravated too. You could pressure wash it down and open up the next day. If you've ever eaten 10 tacos at a Taco Bell, whatever comes out of your ass is felony arson. That's right. Do you think anyone the next day is going to stop in the middle of their order if they find out there was a fire the night before?

No. No, it's Taco Bell. Do you have the Dorito taco shells? I will eat here. That's all I want. Taco Bell management. Why don't these taste like gunpowder? Reported surveillance video of employees playing with fireworks inside the restaurant. Do you not think there's surveillance video?

It's a Taco Bell. That's all there is. If you work at Taco Bell, how much do you care about? How much consequence do you think about in your life? Now, look, there are millions of great people, I'm sure, who work at Taco Bell. But if you tell me that there's a few at one Taco Bell and they're all bad, I believe you. Taco Bell management. This place is a goddamn pirate ship.

I mean, these are the people who- Hey, if you're going to that Taco Bell, be ready to duck. Wait, wait, wait. Which Taco Bell are you going to? We're going to Nolensville. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. These are the people that have the admission. Jimmy Jennings, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Wait. These are the people that had the initiative.

Jimmy Jennings, don't go to Taco Bell no more. Dan, just keep going. These are the people that had the initiative to get a job. They applied for and got a job. That's who these people are. Got hired. Taco Bell management reported surveillance video of employees playing with fireworks inside the restaurant. They're accused of locking the doors to the dining area to keep

customers out of the business. Well, at least they're being smart. Right, but wouldn't you be like, hey, everybody knows they come in to talk about their own risk. Drive-thru, man. Don't hurt sales. You want to have a Roman Candle fight? Fine. Drive-thru. Don't hurt sales. That's the thing they're most mad about.

You lock the customers out. In the video, they're running around inside of the business with fireworks in their hands. Oh, God. Nashville Fire Department investigators said the employees are seen on video putting something in the trash can, then going... This is where things get bad for them. They put something in the trash

can, then going outside of the restaurant to record the trash can with their cell phones. Right. Exploding. Employees then realized that they have accidentally locked themselves out of the restaurant. Oh my god! The fryer is on. Everything is on.

The trash can has fire in it. And so the trash can catches fire. And they're stuck outside. Okay. I now want to take away one of the virtuous moments in this story on behalf of these. They did not keep the customers out. Those doors were never locked

until they went outside. Customers walked in and left of their own volition. They're getting the benefit of a stupid decision. Cut to one guy in the bathroom of the Taco Bell. One guy at the bathroom of the Taco Bell. I don't know if it's me or a fire, but I smell something bad out there. They want customers in there for this.

That's that Nolanville. Nolanville. Nolanville Pike in Nashville. Employees then realized they locked themselves out of the restaurant. Also, restaurant. The department said the employees tried unsuccessfully to get back into the store. That's when it goes, you know, when they're like, we got to break all the windows. Somebody get in.

Drive your car. No, no, no. Janet, climb through the drive-thru window. So that's shut and locked too? Okay. When the employees saw the trash can start to smoke, they called 911 for help. Oh, God. I wish we had that.

So you're locked out of the roof. 911, what's your legacy? All right, we did it. We did it. First of all, we did that. So you're locked out of the roof. 911, what's your legacy? All right, we did it. We did it. First of all, we did it, okay? It's like that TikTok of the guy. She did it. She did it.

Girl, don't do it. She did. Girl, don't do it. She did a bad one. Hold on here. I'm no one's Bill Pike, man. I don't know. You got to talk to my boss.

The employees. Wait, so how great is they show up and they're like, they just act like you're not dressed like a Taco Bell employee and they won't know. That's the same attitude with like, let's run around with security cameras on and pretend that we won't be seen. The employees caused and estimated how much money in damage to the building.

Yeah. Yeah. So how much, Nate? What do you think? Well. Monetary damage to a Taco Bell. I think that there was certain things. I'm going to go ahead and put that number at $11,000.

$11,000. I'm going to say, God, they're felonies. So I think the amount of damage equals what raises it to a felony. So I'm going to say $25,000. I'm going to say $50,000. $50,000. I doubled them. We'll get out of here on this.

The employees caused an estimated how much damage to the building? It is, get your answers in townies wherever you may be. Thank you for being with us. $30,000. Wow. Jay, Jay. $20,000. Wow. Yay. But I was right up. This is the girl who, the shift leader who started it all.

And she looks like, she just looks like. What did I do? If what was a picture. What? What? So she looks like in this picture, she's mad, but you can also tell she's a lot of fun. She's a lot of fun. Yes.

If you got somebody that you want fucked with, that's your girl. Go mess with this guy. You look like Jonah Hill. Don't tell her that. Don't tell her that. The moment when one of them was like, alright guys, let's go back in before that starts that trash can on fire. I know. Alright, here's the story. Who locked it, Sharon?

She's the one. What? What? She's the one who starts chanting the roof The roof is on fire Alright there you go Give us a little taste Of what we'll see in segment three A man has to be rescued from his own problem

Okay I love it Again it's like you put yourself there buddy You locked yourself out of the taco bell I can't wait that's segment three Plus our Patreon fans will get a little something extra with Nate Craig. I love it. It's Dumb People Town.

Don't go anywhere. Stick around. Make it sound for more Dumb People Town. All right, Daniel. Take us home, brother. Okay, here we go. Sent in by Carleen McDermott at SheBeCarleen. One of our favorites.

Yeah, she's a regular contributor to Dumb People Town. Guys, this is a short one, but it is wild. It's great when SheBeCarleen sends something in. Man rescued from hole he dug in New Quay Beach after it collapsed on him. That's right. Have you ever wondered? I was at the beach last year when we were like- Where are you going, honey?

I'm a dick hole. Down. That's a hole. Down. That's a down. Last summer- Going down. Not enough. Last summer, I was at a beach where we were like, beaches are good. You can still socially distance.

I looked around, and I'm not kidding you. How many people were dug holes? Nine different groups of people were just digging big holes. Big holes. That's how sinkholes get started. What are you guys doing? You have no structure for where this is going to go. This is what happened to him.

I'm going to dig a hole. And then his wife is like, do not. Listen, whatever happens to you, you deserve it. What's going to happen to me? A man had to be rescued from a hole he dug on the beach after it collapsed on him. Had to be rescued means that a lot of people tried so that you wouldn't have to call a rescue unit and then boom. Hole is a misnomer, too, here.

He dug a cave. Right, a tunnel. He got tunnel-ish. He had to, right? Yeah. He had to. Yeah, and then the walls collapsed. But, no, if you go deep enough, sand could collapse in on you,

but that's a full, you'd have to be so deep for it to be enough to... It's like a beach version of Big John, that old Jimmy Dean... Big John, Big John. Yeah, for sure. Big Bad John. All a story about a guy who they didn't know, who came to them, a new coal miner. They hadn't seen him before. He's a big dude, and he held up the thing so that everyone could get up, and then he died.

All right, anyway. Emergency services were called by the Coast Guard to Fistral Beach in New Quay. At what time? What time do you think he's already tunnel collapsed level at his level? Yeah. Nate, what do you think? Where is this? What state is this in? I believe this is in Australia.

Australia. Oh, well. So he dug the tunnel in the opposite direction. For some reason, I feel like it is. Or maybe I read something. He dug up. Oh, well. So he dug the tunnel in the opposite direction. New Coy Beach, for some reason, I feel like it is. Or maybe I read something wrong. He dug up. He dug up. He was digging a long time.

If he's digging a hole so deep it's got a roof, he's digging all day. That's right. I'm going to go ahead and say that this is after dark. His wife can't get to him. It is 10.45 p.m. Wow. I'm going to say dusk. I think it's like eight.

Okay. It's definitely getting late. I think it's six. Okay. Congrats. One of you got within 30 minutes. Okay, good. They were called there at 530 p.m.

Thank you. They found them. Let me just say for anybody. I would never want to spend any time with that the man. Oh, let me just say for everybody who's hanging up on my little comment, I would never want to spend any time with that man ever. Just so you know. Okay. Darkness is coming. They found the man trapped in a hole he had dug in the sand after it fell in on him.

That's right. Devin and Cornwall police said. You made your hole. Now lie in it. Right. The force said that friends and beach goers all worked together to dig the man to safety. So did the emergency crews didn't have to do anything? No.

They called them. They called them. They're like, we need your help. Imagine. What are you doing, David? I've got it. I'm fine. It seems deep.

Don't worry about me. It seems a little. Don't worry about me. You seem deep. You missed lunch. You missed lunch. We came here to spend the day as a family. Can I please just do my own thing here?

Everybody else gets to do their thing. I just want to do my own thing. Everybody's doing their thing together. Remember when you didn't talk to anyone for a week last summer because of your puzzle? Excavation. Excavation. That might cause a scene. I'm learning.

David, come back. David. I've got it. Just let me be. I know come back, diamond. David. David. I've got it. That's it. I got it. Just let me be. I got it. I know what I'm doing.

There's another thing that people do when they're doing something. They stop. You do your thing, I'll do mine. I'll do mine. No, you do my thing.

Stop with your thing. I don't tell you. People are like, I'll do my thing, you do yours. Yeah, but there's a reason we're having this conversation. I don't tell you

that fortune teller said you do you to me. This is it. I'll do my thing. I don't tell you how to online shop, do I? That is not dangerous. Do I? David. Yeah, you do you to me. This is it. I'll do my thing. I don't tell you how to online shop, do I? That is not dangerous. Do I?

David. Yeah, you dig yourself in a pretty big financial hole there. I got a little bit of a hole. And you told me to stop. I'm telling you. Only David could dig a hole that collapsed. Right. Like a hole is a collapsing of their sand anyway.

So he invented something. The collapsible hole. Go ahead. It's poetry. invented something. The collapsible hole. Go ahead. It's poetry. It is. The collapsible hole. He was allowed to return home after being checked over by medics. New Quay Community Fire Station.

Okay, good. I hope I'm saying that right. Set on Facebook. That's where all things happen. Of course. As far as firemen and police. And police departments. This could have easily resulted in crushing or suffocation.

Dude. Yes. Yes. I wish I knew how deep it was. Yeah. Please don't dig huge holes in the sand. Could have easily resulted in crushing or suffocation. Dude, yes. I wish I knew how deep it was. Please don't dig huge holes in the sand. Sand is partial to collapse, and the dry weight is around a ton per meter cubed. So it's heavier than you think it's going to be. Oh, yeah, dude.

It's a sandbag. It's not a big bag. Was his head underneath? Yes. So he got buried underneath. He got buried. And he's lucky someone saw it collapse, I would imagine, right? They felt it.

Thunk. Yeah. Thunk. Sinkhole. Thunk. The concession stand moved. Yeah, exactly. So he liked that he was under the ground.

Maybe for a second. This isn't like a guy being buried. He was trying to end it. This is like the beginning of an episode of Six Feet Under. Yeah. He's going somewhere. Like the cold open. He's going somewhere.

Quote, this is from Facebook firemen or fire people. You wouldn't dig a hole in the garden and let your children climb in. Please don't do it on a beach either. And I'll be honest with you guys. When I read that, I'm like, yeah. Yeah. It is the only place where people are like, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to dig a hole

for fun. Go for it. You don't see people in the park. The reason why you dig it on a beach is that it does collapse and then the hole's not there anymore. Don't get into it. Honestly, I'm impressed. That it's big enough for him to get into for it to even collapse.

5.30, they got there at 9 a.m. and he started right away. How would you you'd have to go. I don't even know how far down you'd have to go to get to get. My guess is he probably there was some wetness around it and he started to if you program me

like it wasn't just to hold it together. If you program programmed into your Apple watch like digging or like some other activity. Yeah. He would have gotten. Oh yeah. All the rings. All the rings Yeah. He would have like gotten. Oh, he would have wrapped all the rings around.

He got all the rings. Except for the standing. I got all the rings. Congrats. You just completed your first digging workout. I'm going to get out of here on this. So many fun stories today. Love having you here, Nathan Craig.

The best. How old is the man? How old is he? How old is the guy? You guys get to guess. How old is David in our version of events here? the guy you guys get to guess how old is david in our version of events here you want to go first yeah sure they had to check him out i think he's older i think he's i think you i think he's he ran out of ways to get away from his wife that's right

and he buried himself i think he's a 52 year old man great okay by the way it sounds really old two years older than us. Go ahead, Jay. You nut. Yeah, I'm going to say 46. 46 years old? I think he's 33. 33. Yeah.

Okay. Kind of hit that mold. Go see Nate Craig. Go see Daniel Van Kirk. Go see you guys, too. See us. See our live dates. Okay, ready? Yep.

I mean, treat yourself and watch fucking brand new cheap seats, people. All right. The man, our David. Our little David. I mean, treat yourself and watch fucking brand new cheap seats, people. All right. The man, our David. Our little David. David in the hole, which is a great children's book. A great children's book. David in the collapsible hole. David in the collapsible hole.

It's like a wrinkle in time. Yes. It's like H.G. Wells. He is. This is the new lion, the witch, and the wardrobe. Guy goes into the hole in the sand, and then he comes out a better person. It's a Christian parable. The lion, the witch, and the wardrobe. David, the hole hole in the sand, and then he comes out a better person. It's a Christian parable. The witch in the wardrobe,

David the hole in the regret. The cave that ate David. The cave that ate Dave. There we go. He is 18 years old. Dummy. He's a dummy. You didn't know, man.

I should have known he was an athlete. You dig in that much. It takes two shoulders and two elbows to dig down that much. I'm just going to say this, and I'm warning Jason. It starts with pizza at 7-Eleven, then it moves to sushi. Theme park sushi. Then you're digging holes into beaches. You better watch your son.

I just love the shit you guys are giving me. Oh, yeah, get some sushi in this landlocked city, Dan. Your son is eating sushi at a theme park. Thank you. I'm not doing it. You should never be eating sushi that close to a roller coaster. We learned all those things.

Not me. I love it. All right, there you go, guys. That is the show. Nate Craig, you're the best. And oh shit, we got to get back to work. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb