Dumb People Town - Nate DiMeo - The Memory Palace

Episode Date: December 24, 2024

Screenwriter, podcaster, and author Nate DiMeo (The Memory Palace) stops by as Randy describes how a man ended up in a Vietnamese hospital with a live eel up his butt, Jason explains why men dressed as bears destroyed their own cars, and Daniel warns against stealing hats while on roller blades, and so much more!

Dan and Ran and Jay will share tales of folks so unaware they lack in grace and sometimes choose the life they choose We'll make the news breaking down each epic fail In Florida there's half price bail I'm happy to say they couldn't make this up So listen to our podcast, Dan co-hosts Arm and Dan. Don't be a jerk, spread the music, press the funny hits and we are gonna take you down. Stick around, make a sound, under down, it's Dumb People Town.

Hey townies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population, you. Population, DeMayo. Nick DeMayo, Jay you okay? Jesus Christ. Welcome to the show buddy. I'm happy to be here.

It's so good to have you. It is a shit show. It is but it's a wonderful show. Let me just say this is a perfect emerging, I feel like your whole thing that you do from your podcast to your book, which we'll talk about a little bit, is about exploring the decisions that people make

and the histories of the people that are there. And the stories that they're involved in. That's exactly right. And also the things that we become known for. Yes. Like it's one thing, like you're just there, you are, I don't know, like you're fixing conveyor belts at the Coca-Cola bottling factories in the Midwest,

and then suddenly you decide to sue someone for something ridiculous and that's your thing. That becomes your thing. And you become that guy. Think of the contribution to moving, I don't know, bottles on a conveyor belt. So think of the decisions along the way you'd make. Should I do this lawsuit?

Should I bring this thing? And then you're talking to other people. Now apply that lens, Nate, to stupid behavior. And you're ready? I'm ready. I'm gonna jump into the story right away. We'll talk about his book in a little bit. Hi, Daniel. Hey, buddy. I love that sweater. Great sweater. All right, jump into his story right away. We'll talk about his book in a little bit. Hi Daniel. Hey buddy. I love that sweater.

Great sweater. All right, sent in by Dave Fronier, DP, Fournier, DP Fournier. Okay, so. Long time, is that French? Long time boot on the ground.

Yeah, you ready? Live, big, and I'm not gonna say how big it is. Eel. Toilet. Bath tub. Shoes through man's intestines

after he put it up his anus. That's the thing. I hope he's dead. Was it anything? Literally. No you don't. You wanna take a non-consenting animal. Have a holly jolly Christmas.

You wanna take a non-consenting animal into your sexual life? I hope you fucking die. Yeah, here's the deal. Not right. Do you believe that it happened in Vietnam? Of course it did. Vietnamese doctors.

I mean maybe it didn't happen in Vietnam. You just have Vietnamese doctors. I mean maybe it didn't happen in Vietnam, you just have Vietnamese doctors. I think he was well. I think this was his Vietnam. Right. He couldn't get out? There's no exit strategy. Jane Fonda was protesting this.

I feel like, let's not forget, I'm a boy from Rochelle, Illinois. I feel like all of Asian food, any region. Could rip through your intestines? No, the eel plays heavily. Sure, it's a delicious, it's a delicious. Right, but by y'all's case, if it's also the eel more than any other place than Asian cuisine.

Am I incorrect? Yeah, it's, you don't have like an Italian. I actually think that there's a fair amount of eel in the cuisine of the British Isles. Ooh. Okay. Which doesn't speak so highly of it. I wouldn't think of that, yeah. Which they also definitely named themselves.

And they definitely don't call it the eel, they call it like bangers and squiggly. But the truth of the matter is like. Well, sea worm. But eel also sounds like what it is, like eel almost sounds like an eel. Yeah, it is an onomatopoeia for us. Well, and McDonald's is coming out with a McEel.

Oh, the eel. Which is a sandwich. Which is just. It's long bread. Yeah, long. Bag, which is a sandwich. Which is longbread. Yeah, long baguette. It's a baguette. And you shove it up your butt. Shove it up your butt. Stop. Had to chew through his intestines

after he shoved it up his ass. Good. The nauseating discovery, I'm glad that whoever's writing this is inserting their own. Exactly. Objective. Was made, the discovery was made, when the, and we're not gonna tell you how old it is.

It's his own Saw movie. Blank Indian National was admitted to Viet Duc Hospital in Hanoi, this is Vietnam, on July 27th after excruciating abdominal pain, really? I'd imagine so. Have you guys had food poisoning recently or anything? I had some food poisoning the other night. Can I be honest with you?

And I feel like if you're unsure, you you're sure I'm not sure I've ever Had food poison. Why are you tempting the fates? Don't say Because if you have you'll God you're sure right awful Oh, I've had times where I ate something and I feel like it didn't sit right with me and stuff like that But I've never had like so I the other night. I don't know what I had the other night I mean, I've been very sick and felt like it felt like an eel was trying to get through I only stuck it up my penis But I mean it felt like people were clawing my like two hands were clawing my stomach open

I was in so much pain. I definitely Intestinal like maybe you're in labor. So doctors learned that the adventurous patient, I was dilated seven centimeters. I think you're ready. The adventurous crowning. Adventurous patient, let's not call him adventurous. That's my favorite procedural. The adventurous patient. Had slipped.

She can't remember. There's not enough patient focused doctors. It's all doctor, the good doctor, how about the bad patient? Exactly. This is your 15th time in here. Had slipped the phallic fish. It's not a phallic fish.

Is it a fish? Don't put it on. Is an eel a fish? An eel's a fish. It's a swimmer. What else would it be, an amphibian? No, no, no, it's clearly. It's like a reptile.

But I do wonder, because an eel is clearly its own category. There's more a eel, there's a trigger fish. Right. Like it's its own category. I don't call it a fish. But I guess a shark is a fish and also has its own category.

Sure, all right, back side, the earlier in the day. And it tried to escape, of course, Daniel. Yes, it's trying to get out. The eel had bitten through the patient's rectum and colon to escape the abdominal cavity, said Nat Kwai, vice director of the Department of Colorectal and perineal surgery. You know this guy was like, great,

I have to now make a statement? Thanks a lot. I know, how often does the vice director of that? He probably doesn't know what it's like to stand behind the podium. Exactly right. This asshole. Literally.

The patient was immediately examined and underwent several imaging tests, including x-ray that showed the eel skeleton lying inside of his abdominal cavity. So it busted out? Yeah, yeah. Oh, good. Doctors attempted to remove-

Andy Dufresne did this. Yeah. He went through a river of shit, literally get on his side. That's right. Andy Dufresne. Doctors attempted to remove the foreign object through the man's anus, but they discovered a large lime

that he had also inserted blocking the way. Wait, so that, oh wow. It's like there's no way, this is, you guys wanna see it? I do actually. Here it is, here it is. Jesus. You see that?

Yeah. Let it be. Dan does not wanna see it. Just kill yourself. This is almost. And I don't mean that like, do it. Right. I just mean.

Do it before you decide to do it. Don't bring an eel into this. This is, he's obviously. Nate's saying don't bring a lime into this. What do the lime ever do to you? That was the problem. I feel like if he'd just done the eel. Well do you think it was the whole thing of like,

okay, it goes lime first. No, you put the lime in the coconut. No, what you would see. But you know what, people can't figure out how to do it. You throw salt over your shoulder. That's what I'm saying. People can't figure out like, okay, so I. You stick the wheel in your ass, suck the lime.

Then loo the salt. Then throw the wheel. Where does the eel go in this? Lime, salt, eel, lime. You checked that eel for tea? Lime, salt, eel, lime. All right, Vietnamese doctors said the man had put the eel up his anus.

Okay, the eel bit its way through the man's intestines into the abdominal cavity. Instead, the doctors opted for emergency surgery. So now people have to fix this guy. Now you gotta. I know, exactly. Now you gotta. I know exactly. Now you've bought a whole healthcare system into it. I'd throw him a book and go figure it out.

Yep. All right, here's a scalpel. Or I'd bring in some like students. And a lime zester. Bring in some students. Yeah! A scraper. They sliced open the patient's torso

and found the live eel stretching more than how many inches long? I'm so glad it's alive. Yeah, they saved it. You drop it. The weird thing is how long? Yeah. How many inches? We're supposed to guess. Yeah. 18. 18. I'm going, I'm going to take the over. Pick a number. I'm going to pick at 21 inches, 24 inches. Get your answers in. One of you is one off. So we can all go up or down. Up or down. We We'll go 17.

23. 20 inches. Get your answers in, Townies, because this thing was 25 inches long. Oh! I went the wrong way. So did he. Hey!

Heyo. How many inches in diameter do you wanna guess? In diameter? In diameter? I don't know, what is it, two? I think it's three. I think, well, it can be that way, because if you think of it, the guy was like,

I can get that up there. Ugh, no, you never know. Get a lot of things, get a lot of things up there. We do every year. He'd already done the line up there. He can get a lot of things up there. Yeah, the line was like. Get a lava lamp up there.

So how many, I know, how many? If you need to. Two and a half inches. If you need to. Two and a half inches, what do you think? I said three. An inch and a half. I said three.

All right, get your answers in town. One of you is one, I'm just kidding. And it's four inches long. Four inches in diameter. The creature and the lime were both removed. You guys wanna see the lime? There it is. A whole lime!

A whole lime. I wasn't even on the wedge. I'm actually finding the lime picture more disturbing. I was always picturing a whole lime. A whole lime. It's just disgusting. This is how you make Sprite. The doctors tried to remove the eel

through the patient's anus, but the lime was blocking the way. Now look at the eel and the lime together. Like they look like they're cute. Yeah, it's like a very, there's a thing in- It's like the dot in the line. In the Jewish religion where over the New Year, that you get a thing that you shake

and then a lime and a lemon or a lot of spice thing. All right, anyway, the eel was more than 25 inches long, four inches, after checking for additional foreign objects, because you gotta look for other stuff now. You can't trust this guy. There's my letter opener. He's fucking Mary Poppins purse. Right, there's a deed to a ranch in here.

Lamp. An umbrella that allows you to fly. Mary Poppins purse is a great read. It was really bad. After checking for additional foreign objects hiding inside the man, they stitched him up. Surgeons also performed a colonostomy to prevent fecal matter from passing through

the cut made by the eel's bite. The doctors at the hospital told Vietnam News, that's the whole thing, that they've dealt with patients, typically young men who have put objects up their bums for sexual pleasure. Van Duck, Viet Duck Hospital has previously moved bottles, cups, adult toys from patients' annus, but this is the first case.

I'm fine with all those things. First case involving a live animal. Just make it the lime. Just do the lime. The lime is enough. A lime in time saves none. You can't look around your house. And find something that'll do that for you.

How about a plastic eel? Wait, a chair leg. We've heard about, wait, but. A magic wand. What I would actually like to know is whether the, clearly the eel does not look alive there. It is alive. No, it isn't.

It's alive? Did they return to the river? So eels can survive. What a story that one eel asked me. Eels, I know, that guy comes back for you, Dave. Where were you, Dave? I was, I was. All of a sudden he's Billy.

In a horrible cave. All of a sudden the eel. I saw the inside of a hospital. That guy comes back for you. Where were you, Dave? All of a sudden he's Billy. I saw the inside of a hospital. The eel is Billy the Bass. Take me to the river. Please. Drop me in the water. Please. With the lime right next to him.

If Billy... He's like, the lime is his Wilson from Castaway. And the eel is like, you're coming with me, man. We went through this together., you're coming with me man, we went through this together. And you're coming with me. And the eel's like, this was my Vietnam. Yeah, it was his Vietnam. Yeah, it was a situation he never should have been in.

Zero, zero. He's going up the river. Yes, we should have gone too far in rather than securing ourselves from the rear. It's the heart of anus. Exactly. All right, eels can survive in anaerobic conditions It's a shit show for the beginning.

anaerobic conditions for a long time and have the ability to bite through gastrointestinal tract. No shit. Therefore, people should never insert live animals to the anus. No. To seek intense sensations due to the unforeseeable consequences. However.

He did experience intense sensations. If you are. Whatever follows this however is insane. No, no, no. You just said, read those sentences. I'm saying however.. If you are. Whatever follows this however is insane. No, no, no. You just said, read those sentences. I'm saying however. Oh, thank God. You were like, you should never do this at all.

However. Daniel, I am saying to sexual toy makers, you know, I had the island of Misfits, and I know that it's Christmas, so like, you probably, there are like, sexual toys that are given as Christmas gifts. You're gonna say something I'm about to tell you exists. Like, make an eel, make an electronic eel

that can go up there that has a string that you can pull out. There's dildos that are like ogre tongues, and like dragon penises. This all exists. I know. Not you, the person in the story, idiot. Go to options.

Go on Amazon. You don't have to fly to Vietnam. Therefore, people should never insert live animals in. This however is not the first time. This is the first time that eel was removed from someone's backside in Vietnam this year. In March, a 12-inch ill slid up, a 43-year-old man's anus slid up. So this is like, wait, that sounds like it was his choice.

That sounds like he was skinny dipping and blaming the victim. Did you see what that ill was wearing? The dumbest sexual version of us trying to get other cultures to realize that there's no magic in a rhinoceros horn. Right, exactly. Like, just stop doing this.

He was rushed to the Hi-Ha district medical center in Kwan-Nee province. That was the noise he made when he went out there. Hi-Hi! In Kwan-Nee, where the sea creature was removed, we are gonna get out of here on this. This is just a fun one. That's what the eater we're eating our way through.

We're gonna eat our way through this whole thing. How old was the Indian national man who was admitted to the hospital who allowed the eel to go up there? How old is this guy? Yeah, go first. I'm gonna guess 53 years old. 53.

I'm gonna go 32, 40. One of you is one year off. 31. Okay. 52 years old. 31. Okay. 52 years old. 39. Get your answers in townies because this man who we do not know his name.

Sure. But we just know his age. They should say his name. Is, they should give where he works. 31 years old. Danny Baker! Oh, you knew, you knew, you knew. All right, that's story number one.

We come back, we're talking about Nate's amazing book, The Memory Palace, which is the name of his podcast. We'll be right back with more Dumb People Town. Nate Deneo, Dumeo, Dumeo, Dumeo. Dumeo. Stick around, make a sound. There's more Dumb People Town. Hey guys, welcome back to the show.

Nate Dinteo is with us. Wait a minute. Dumeo, how do you not know? I'm just reading it. God, my reading's terrible. Nate, you back to the show. Nate Dinteo is with us. Wait a minute. Wait, it is Dinteo, how do you not know? I'm just reading it. God, my reading's terrible. Nate, you have a new book. We'll get to that in one second before we talk about this lovely thing that I'm tactily holding.

Cannot wait to read it. We should let people know what we have going on where you can see us. First of all, thank you to everyone, including Aaron and Daniel. And we should have invited you, but we didn't, but we'll invite you next time. That was our bet. To our two-man show that we did the

Lyric Hyperion the born identity which we're doing again at sketch fest on February 1st so San Francisco San Francisco sketch fest Gateway theater it's a matinee show and then later that night and I want to tell everybody if you haven't already subscribed to our patreon you should because we're gonna do more of a deep dive on one of those episodes because I wanna talk to you guys about the show. I love it. So if anybody, it's five bucks a month,

but anybody who already subscribes, you're gonna get that, anybody who doesn't, we're gonna, you know, that's some of the stuff that happens over there. We hang around and shoot the shit. So as a person who like wasn't invited, this would be a good way for me to access the content. You.

Okay, so here's the deal. We know that there's maybe another chance that we get to do a run of this at like the Kirk Douglas Theater here, which is like 300 seats and a lot to fill. So we know we have lots of SoFi Stadium or the Kirk Douglas. Like we will have, we will need people to come.

So sit tight, Nate. But we are very excited about that. And then we have a bunch, we're doing another Tag It on January 9th, I believe. January 16th. The 9th, got moved to the 9 It on January 9th, I believe. January 16th. The 9th, got moved to the 9th at the Comedy Store, which the last one was fantastic. That's a Thursday, I believe.

That is a Thursday night. And then we're gonna be in the La Jolla Comedy Store, which is something we have not done, but I'm so excited, end of January. End of January and then lots of stuff in March and April, like Detroit and Minneapolis and Denver and then the Moon Tower. So all this stuff at superscalars.com.

Check it all out. We love you guys. Nate, let's talk about this. The Memory Palace, this book. This is, your podcast is amazing. And I love, I mean, I love the story. You talk about like stories of people. How do people become who they are

based on the choices that they made and the history they've themselves have created. Thank you very much. You yourself have like a glorious history that you've created this whole thing. We've watched you create this podcast, we've watched you nurture it into this thing that we can very much relate to.

I feel very connected to you because you've created this whole world of what you do, the Memory Palace itself. And I love that it's now put together in this beautiful compendium. Yeah, there's been something fun like knowing you do, the Memory Palace itself. And I love that it's now put together in this beautiful compendium. Yeah, there's been something fun, like knowing you guys over the years, because we do different things.

You guys crack lies professionally, I do not. But you're very funny, you're a funny dude. I'm doing my best, I'm trying to hang. Your wife is a wonderfully funny person too. Yes, and so, but that said, there's just, there is something, you know, there's just something in the DIY spirit of like just constantly trying to figure out, like not just, there is something, there's just something in the DIY spirit of like,

just constantly trying to figure out, not just how to build an audience, but how to maintain that audience, and how to serve that audience. How to make sure they know where you're going. How to perform your thing live in front of people, which you do too. It's like we've really, it's been a parallel path.

Explain to people who don't know what the Memory Palace is, what it is and what this book is that is now out and available. So for the past 16 years, and I know it because I started this thing a few weeks after my daughter was born in this desperate need to, like what am I gonna have that's still my own? How can I build something in this life

and my wife is going back to work and I'm gonna be more or less taking care of the kid, et cetera. And, you know, but the truth of the matter is, like I have, for almost these whole 16 years, had a difficult time explaining what this thing is. Because on the one hand, it's super simple, which is that I just tell in a sort of public radio style,

I tell these short historical stories. Sometimes they're funny, sometimes they're sad, sometimes they're a little bit of both. Sometimes they're like weird and meditative. Sometimes they're ripping yarns. And it's just me and my voice and I put it to music. And every time I say that, I think to myself, I don't think I would listen to that show. No, not true. And so then when you follow it up, and it's like, then the pitch is, it's just me and my voice and I put it to music and every time I say that I think to myself, I don't think I would listen to that show.

No, not true. And so then when you follow it up and it's like then the pitch is it's that but it's good is also a difficult thing. Absolutely good. Compelling, like fucking, it's the kind of thing that you're like, I'm gonna listen to this just to chill out

and rest and maybe like help me chill from my day and then you're like, no, I'm riveted. Now I'm so into this thing. They're great stories. They're amazing, it's amazing. So is this a collection of some of your best or favorites or are these? And so this book here is a collection of some of,

people might call them old, I choose to call them beloved stories. Sure, classics. Classics, it's all history. It's a bunch, there's a number of new stories in part because it's a book, so now you can actually, on the podcast, people can't see things,

don't have a YouTube companion. And so, as a result, it's fun. So there's a lot of stories that do not work unless you can see the photo. Wow. Or that end up being sort of about the history of photography. There's also a bunch of stories, because when they sold it to Random House,

they're like, you've been doing this for a long time, we wanna make sure that we can sell it both to the old people and the new readers. And the old heads. And so what's the proper mix of old and new? And one of the things that they kept saying was like, well, is there some way to take the long time listener sort of under the hood?

Like take him behind the scenes. Great idea. Like that's cool, but everything they pitched was just a terrible idea. Ha! The initial idea's good. Everything sounded like DVD commentary, you know? It was sort of like, how about you tell this cool story about the first elephant in America,

and then you explain why, where you came up with that idea, and I was like, that's not what books do. Like, you don't read like, well, you know, Faulkner, and then he's like, yeah, so whatever. Faulkner commentary. It was gonna be a light in September, but I made it a light in August. Exactly.

Because that felt better. Exactly. And so, but I did end up coming up with this bit that has actually worked out really well, which is, I started to, as I was going through 16 years of stories, and this like giant document, you know giant document of hundreds of stories deep, and the story triage that I would send to my editor,

how about these? And then we'd go yes, no, yes, no. I started to realize that the person who writes these stories is pretty fucking weird. And that I was like, oh, they're actually, it is worth stopping and saying why these things are the things that I was like, oh, they're actually, it is worth stopping and saying why these things are the things that I find wonderful, and why, how it is that I've come to this

sort of strange approach to history. And so now there's sort of like, so there's this section at the end of the book which is called, six stories drawn from the author's life as a younger person that in the aggregate could have served as an introduction to this book, but that would have been super weird. So here they are presented at the end on page 276.

I have to say I feel that way about it too, is that I am often like, why did Nate choose this? Like, I'm kind of like your choice to present this. I feel this way about if people who listen to The Dollop, that's another great story about it, really crazy historical stories. You will love the Memory Palace. To me, I feel like it's a hand in hand with that.

It's just a different direction of it. So anyway, where can people get this book? They can get it apparently, literally, wherever you get your books. Anyway, wherever you get books. Okay, the physical copy, you can go to it on Amazon, you can order it at your local bookstore. Go to a Barnes and Frickin' Noble.

Barnes and Frickin' Noble. Pick it up. It was a big achievement, because when I went to the AMC and to the movie theater the other day, we went to the Barnes and Noble. And? Had to like find it on the third floor,

but the other day I went down at the bottom. Yes, Bill! Let's go! Come on, Nate DeMeo, the memory pal. Impulse by! Hey, if your friends or your partners or your kids or your parents are readers, pick this one up for me.

This is their holiday gift. We just got you. You're welcome. Look how pretty this book you. You're welcome. Look how pretty this book is. You're welcome, god damn it. It's gorgeous and they'll love it and it's perfect. I'm proud of you for making that.

And it is too large to fit up people's butts. Yes, you cannot stick it out. Speaking of, let's get back to the story. Thank you, Nate. Here we go. We'll get to Dan stuff later. This is sent in by Adam Polton of Polsky 75. Polsky.

Person dressed in bear costume to fake attacks on cars for insurance payout, California officials say. Wait, what? Wait, I'm gonna need to do that again. Person dressed in bear costume to fake attack, you saw this on the news, to fake attacks on cars for insurance payout. So he's just with his shoe on in a furry thing, kicking the front fender of a thing.

No, he's full. I have to say this, already I could tell, this is the opposite of the principle that you proposed before, which is basically if you have used an animal, a live animal, for your own sexual pleasure, then you deserve bad things to happen. I feel like if you are co-opting the animal kingdom,

but you yourself are taking on the burden of putting on the costume, then I feel like you ought to get away. You ought to get away. Or you should be left alone with an actual bear for a little bit. Yeah, just hang out with, drop him in a bear den. Here we go.

Four people in Southern California were arrested in an accused of insurance fraud after they claimed their cars were trashed by a bear, which was actually someone in a bear costume. That is unbelievable. Is this smart people? Everyone's an actor. That's what I'm wondering.

Everyone's an actor. So you know you're gonna be on camera. That's right. You better. Can I put this on my MBB? I mean, that's, you're gonna be on camera. That's right. You better. Can I put this on my IMDB? I mean, that's, you're not just doing the costume for fun. No. 2024, security footage, bear.

Right. Cocaine bear. But then that's a lot of confidence in your costume. I wanna be in more information. I'm saying, you're really like, people are like, is the costume, shouldn't we just like, put the cars where there is in a camera? No, no, no, no, my costume's gonna sell.

My costume's great. can I say this? Footage of them doing this, actually funnier than season two of The Bear. What? Come on, I love The Bear. Now look, if this bear costume is as good as that guy dressed as a border collie. Yeah, I mean, that was the craziest thing,

Ran, you might have to call that up on your phone. Did you ever hear about the guy? No. There's a guy who became. As a border collie. No, it wasn't a border collie. I'm not wondering. It was a Lassie collie, like a regular collie. He was part of a group called Collies Without Borders.

They would go down to Central America. And they would help people. I think that was a Canaan episode. Yes, it was. Yeah, we'll find it. Or a Canine episode. Canine. Canine.

Canine. Canine. That's right. Not9. Not damn you, Nate! Kyle K9. You're a word! You're a word, Smith! And he has played a dog in an animated show. Okay, so-called bear was claimed to have entered and damaged a, this is unbelievable,

a 2010 Rolls Royce ghost. Yeah, they're nice cars. No! On January, you're taking a risk to damage a Rolls Royce ghost in hopes of pulling the scam. If you don't pull the scam, you've just ruined a Rolls Royce ghost.

If you need money, just sell the fucking. Ghost! Rent it out, put it on Turo. Start driving Uber. If you drove Uber, Uber XXXXXX in a Rolls Royce Goliath, you'd earn the money back, probably in a month. All right, on January 8th, while it was parked at Lake Arrowhead in the San Bernardino mountain.

Nothing good happens at Lake Arrowhead. No, there's eight Lake Arrowheads where you go and you're like, we need someone to disappear. Video was submitted to the insurance company that allegedly Showed the animal entering the car upon further scrutiny of the video the investigation determined that the bear was actually a person in a bear Costume the insurance department said in a statement the group also submitted claimed for damage to two other cars a 2015 Mercedes G 63 AMG a 2022 Mercedes E 350,

again with video and again with someone in a bear suit. Dumb, drunken ideas. That's a man, this is a man, that's a man. What? I know. That's a man. That's even a better picture. But to what end? What is it, what is, all in?

To what end? Is he just trying to live the dog life? No one in his life told him, good boy. He's a big, no, he put it on and someone said stay. When I'm doing the story, I'll find you the photo we showed Kay and soon. No, it is insanity. He was a big Snoop Dogg fan.

All right, here we go. But whose drunken idea was it to do this? We did, I think we did an episode a long time ago with Dan Harmon where a guy cut his own arm off for insurance purposes. And then we got into a question of like, what is the money you would take to cut his arm? That was our 127 minutes episode.

Go ahead, cut off his arm despite his fame. He's some idiot. That was 190. What if it's also your friend's car? It's going to work. Fair enough. How long was that? I heard it.

$27. Felt like it. By the end of that show I wanted to cut my own arm off. Ruben Tamrazian. Great. How old do you think this guy is? Ruben Tasman. Ruben Tamrazian. Great. How old do you think this guy is? Roman Tasman. Ruben Tamrazian.

That's when you get the arc on your basketball jersey. Dude. That's exactly right. The Tamrazian. Had some salt and lemak for sure. I feel like the Tamrazians are, it's like an award for like the worst reality show ever. He won a Tamrazian.

It's also like one of your favorite restaurants you always sort of forget the name of. It's like for the worst strip mall in Glendale. If you told me that was the Kardashians real name before they changed it to the Tamrazian. So these are Armenians and my son plays basketball or played basketball in Glendale and everyone in the league was Armenian.

So all these names are very familiar. Tamrazian. Tamrazian, how old do you think? I think Ruben is. Ruben is. A Ruben. Ruben Tabrazian. And I had the Tamrazian Ruben at a del think? I think Ruben is. Ruben is. A Ruben. Ruben Tabrazian. And I had the Tamrazian Ruben at a deli in Glendale

that was delicious. So on the one hand, this is the act of young men. Sure, totally. However, they do also have to be, they have to have at least achieved something so they've scanned their way toward the ghost. Right, yeah. So these are 27 year old men.

That's a 27 year old man? It's a great call, 31. It's the 27 club. I mean, part of me also thinks like old gambler. 68, 64. I had to procure. Rolls Royce is in. He was sitting out and playing checkers

in front of Elijah. This is a guy who's rolls for the win. He's playing read-dimensional chess is what he's doing. He's playing chess while we're playing checkers, right? 61. Did you, by the way, I saw recently a thing about the 27 club. Is that what you were referencing?

Sure. Like all these famous people who died at 27. Absolutely. It was like insane. Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison. Right. Jimi Hendrix. Jimi Hendrix. Winehouse.

Amy Winehouse. Yeah, all at 27. Okay. One of you is one year off. Okay. I'll say 32. 28. 27. Okay. One of you is one year off. Okay. I'll say 32. 28. 60.

28. 26 years old. Oh! And there's a bunch of them. We won't guess the other guys, but I'll tell you their names. Ararat, Cherkinian. Sure.

Vahe, Murad, Kanyan. Uh-huh. All of Glendale. I miss the old Kanyan. Of Glendale, yeah. These are the original wolves of Glendale. I miss the old Konyan. Of Glendale, yeah. These are the original wolves of Glendale. Alif Yaa Zuckerman of Valley Village, all were arrested on charge of insurance fraud

and conspiracy, a spokesperson for the San Bernardino County District Attorney's Office. This is crazy. Yeah. Here's what's crazy. Here's what's crazy. Here's a crazy part of this. I've saw the video.

Yeah. It's so fucking obvious. this I've saw the video. Yeah, it's so fucking obviously that it's not That they probably had better odds of getting away with it If not having video right or or just saying a guy in a bear costume wrecked her car, right? Look at this crazy video we have. Look at this guy dressed up as a mess of a ghost. Dude, trying to disguise himself as a bear. Hang on, let me pop my trunk. Oh shit, there's a bear costume in here.

I don't know where that came from. It's like one of these idiots was like. He wrecked our car, he took the costume off and stuck it in our trunk. One of these idiots is like, I'm only doing it if I get to wear the bear costume. You know that happened. I think that was Airarat Chicanery.

There are Chinese zoos that have more believe in it. That's some Ararat Chicanery. It was the Valley Village guy. It was. Zuckerman? Zuckerman? Arefa Zuckerman. Arefa Zuckerman.

Scam cost insurance companies how much money? Nothing. The department said. Initially, initially. Before they, what are they asking? Rolls Royce. Four cars? Four cars.

Four cars. Three cars. They're obviously, they're also gonna overstate it, because, you know. I have no idea, what, that ghost is what? $27,000. That ghost is what, $180,000? The $27 car?

I think $120,000. Really? 120, buck 20. What do you think, Dan? I'll just keep with the other dumb number I said. 100, wow. 180? What did you think, Dan? I'll just keep with the other dumb number. I said 100. 180? What did you say? I said 27.

I'm gonna go $80,000. All right, get your answers in. 141,000. Wow! Dude, I was right. The bear costume with brown fur and a head shape like a bear's. So it's a bear costume.

You said that. Great description of a bear costume. Paws and metal hand tools to simulate Claw marks was found in the suspects home officials. Yes So you get rid of it that you dress as the bear and then you're house get rid of it you idiot It's like this is so dumb amateur like Lake Arrow had to exist to dump things in yes Exactly, they're gonna drag the lake for a bear costume put a So dumb. Amateur hour. Lake Arrowhead exists to dump things in. Yes. You have a lake! Exactly. They're not gonna drag the lake for a bear costume,

put a cement thing on it. Also, what are these tools that they put to simulate? That's what I wanna know. Forks. Forks. If you're in Arrowhead, Yeah. Bury it. Leave some food in your car.

That's right. Let the bears take care of it themselves. They will. They will. Just slather some ground beef on the windshield Let the bears take care of it themselves. They will. They will. Just slather some ground beef on the windshield. You obviously won't find it ruining the car anyway. Right, right. Just put some ground beef, exactly.

Some oil, some meat oil. Anything. Anything. Literally anything. Video of the alleged damage show what appeared to be minor groove marks on seats and the interior that were intended to pass for claw marks. Investigators also showed the videos to a biologist

from California's Department of Fish and Wildlife. Yeah, they're gonna spring in a biologist, bro. Who quote, opined it was clearly a human in a bear suit. He opined it. He didn't just say it. No, if you're opining. He opined about it. He wistfully looked at it.

That's exactly right. He looked off in the distance. He had his own memory palette. Do you think he was disappointed? Do you think he was like, oh great, I love a good bear. Fair thing. He's like, guys, guys, I'm gonna have to opine here. Hang a second, let me look off into the mountains of El Chino. Tony's opining again.

Where'd he go? There are bears at Lake Arrowhead and in the San Bernardino Mountains. Of course there are. Which is a forested range about 60 miles north of Los Angeles, but they don't wear costumes. Okay. No one said that it was a bear in a bear costume. So this person says, ha ha, they don't wear costumes. Incorporated opining into their article, and also wanted to clarify that the bear's head of the bear's costume was shaped like a bear's head. Who's the dummy? Just quit.

The person wrote the article. Just turn in your bears head. Who's the dummy? Just quit! The person wrote the article. Just turn in your two weeks. You're making these guys sound smart. The only wild bears in the San Bernardino Mountains or anywhere else in the state are black bears, according to the Fish and Wildlife Department. Contrary to the name, those bears can sometimes be brown. Yes, it's true.

Fair, but what this person failed to leave. It's like when Sunday Night Football is on a Saturday for a random schedule That's right. So then this the next line this tells you this is a bad journalist The state once had Grizzlies, but they had been hunted to extinction extinction by the and you guys can tell me when you that happened But so they failed to mean 40s 1940s. It does it's a decade. Just give a 1920s. I like that Mmm 1930s this is why you need to buy this book. Memory Palace. 1920s. 1912. Walks in here and he's gonna be opining about this victory for years. Okay, he's opining about the time they got rid of the Grizzlies. They didn't mention that it was a grizzly bear. You had the time to mention that the head looked like a bear but didn't mention it was a grizzly.

So now after the fact. You're looking at who wrote this byline? Who? Do we know? No, I didn't. Did Greenlee get a new job? No, it almost feels like it. But so what they're saying was these people were so dumb

to not understand. They chose a bear that had not been in the area. A bear that does not exist in California. You've gotta bust up the rolls, you gotta do your research. And throw away the costume, there you go. That's it. Story number two, when we come back, Daniel gotta do your research and throw away the costume. There you go. That's it. Story number two, when we come back,

Daniel's gonna tell us what he has going on. I'll say this, Daniel, that the Lyric Hyperion said, Daniel should be doing his show here. They said it to me. So anyway, we'll talk about all of that on the other side of the break. Nate DeBales with us, he's got a new book, Memory Palace. That's the same name as his.

I need both my presents and the book. Both. Both are a gift. You can give both for the holidays. Nate will show up at your house. And we'll be right back with More Dumb People, not right after this. Stick around, make a sound, there's more Dumb People town.

Hey guys, welcome back to the show. Daniel Van Kirk. Yes. Tell these good people what's going on with you, my man. Go to danielvancirk.com. I will be announcing some dates soon for the new year, putting together my 2025 dates. I love it. If you haven't checked out Rose Gold, you can do that.

You can watch Wine Club, my movie, if you haven't seen that. You should. And you should listen to my podcast right here every Monday night. It's called The Midnight Air. You would love it, Nate. Yeah, we run down, every week we just sort of run down

the national days of the week, which are usually the things that are sort of in the midnight air. Yeah, it's an overnight radio podcast for people that are trying to stay awake or can't sleep. I do want you to have people selling dinette sets. Like I gotta. You know, what's interesting. The training stations.

Something I've wanted to do for a long time that incorporates, I think, one of my family's hobbies, which is what's that guy's deal. I have put this out to listeners in the internet, and I'll do it here on the Dumb People's Town feed as well. I want to talk to everyday people about the job that they have. Oh, well you've had every job.

If your family makes billiard tables, I wanna know what that's like. If you work at a toll booth, tell me about it. Do you sell lemonade outside of the rodeo in Texas? Let's have a conversation about it. Have you read Studs Terkel? I mean that's working. Yes, I mean one of the greatest Chicago writers

of all time. Working. Working is phenomenal. Charlie LaDuff. You know Charlie LaDuff. Charlie LaDuff's like working another since. Well yeah, and and work another since. Work another since.

But like those one page like sort of encapsulations of a person's life. Which is kind of this, but I would love to hear your comedic take on it. And you know, it's another thing too. I'm gonna do it on the road. Zoom, Mike, wherever you're at, if I'm on the road and you happen to own

a pool design company, let's just sit down and have a conversation about it. So those are gonna start living in the new year on the midnight air. And then other than that, like two weeks ago I did my top 10 Christmas movies. Last week I did my top 10 Christmas-ish movies. So I have a question for you.

This week, really quick, because you guys would love this, we will talk about it on one of our Patreon. I did the great Mexico City 1985 Christmas heist. I know, I hadn't known anything about this. It's insane. What? Two 21 year old veterinary students decide that they're gonna steal

some of the greatest pieces in the museum in Mexico City. Oh my God, I thought they were gonna steal an eel out of someone's house. No, I would in favor of that. So anyway, that's the midnight air. If you have a job that when someone goes, I remember anybody who does that, like you are a friend, long time listener, Justin Sprague,

he does furniture reupholstery in Madison, Wisconsin, and he doesn't meet a lot of other people who do that. You can email themidnightmailbag at gmail.com. I love it. There's a lot of stuff going on. Show me this last story. This is a short story. Okay.

Sent in by? KoemanAssassin at MaxBetman. Thanks buddy. I know. All right, here's the headline. Okay. Sent in by? KoomanAssassin at MaxBetman. Thanks buddy. I know. All right, here's the headline. Man on roller blades. I already love it.

So he's already like, full stop. I do what I wanna do, I don't care. I don't care that I look ridiculous around this thing. It's such a commitment. Absolutely. It's such a commitment. If you are on roller blades,

your headphones should have an antenna. Well, except if you've ever been to Vancouver, commitment. Absolutely. It's such a commitment. If you are on roller blades, your headphones should have an antenna. Well, except if you've ever been to Vancouver where people, you know, because it's a hockey-loving culture, people are just on roller blades. All the time. Because they're just like, I gotta keep up.

Well, most cars are like, not here, so if you're listening in Canada, you're thinking, yeah, roller blades rule. Most cars are on roller blades. I say with a pun, you are in line, because man on roller blades carrying. I say with a pun, you are in line because man on rollerblades carrying hockey stick. There you go. He's on his way to a game.

Arrested after. For checking people off of scooters. T-O-Q-U-E, toque? Toque. Toque. Toque robbery. He stole someone's hat. Wow.

Stole someone's hat. Got you toque. I've never seen that word in my life. I was at a Dickens Canadian party, dressed as the ghost of Christmas present. I looked like Jesus. You looked wonderful. You looked really, that was a great costume. It was a Rolls Royce ghost.

I was dressed like a bear, with a bear head. I was dressed like, and there were guys from the middle aged dad jam band there, playing piano and some music, and everyone were like guys from the middle age dad jam band there playing piano and some music and everyone was singing Christmas songs. And we sang two things I did that you would love. We sang the 12 days of Christmas and I couldn't not sing the Bob and Doug McKinsey. Sure. So we just went through.

Five golden to four pounds of back bacon, three French toast, two turtlenecks and a beer on my knee. That was so fun. And I just started singing that to Dave and Wayne, who was right there and he immediately got in love with it. That and then when they did Santa Claus is Coming to Town, I couldn't not do the Bruce Springsteen version.

Not many, not many. Not many, not many. You guys are slivin'. You guys are slivin'. Not many. Santa Claus. Not many, not many. You guys are slivin', you guys are slivin'. Not many. Santa Claus is comin' to town. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Clarence Clarence laughing.

Santa Claus, I mean. Whoa, whoa, whoa. For some reason, my favorite part of the song is not singing. It's the not many. Not many, not many. He knows what he's doing. Just talking in the beginning.

How many of you been good out there? Not many, not many. Anyway, so we did that and that was really good. But the toques, that's a toque. It's a hat. Yeah. Victoria BC. Yeah. Victoria, BC.

Yeah, sure. He was right, he was right. You're, you know. Stable and rollerblades, nobody even thinks this is a weird thing. Patrol. Memory palace available at Barnes and Noble's. Patrol officers arrested a hockey stick wielding man

on rollerblades yesterday after he robbed a woman of her. Dignity. Innocence. Toque. I said dignity. Literally just, this is just a single toque? Yeah. Does he need the hockey stick? Does he need the roller blade?

Couldn't I say excuse me, man? I got it. He needed to get away. I lifted it up. He used the stick to lift it up. Isn't that high sticking? You're taking the hat off. Two minutes high sticking.

And then somebody in a roller blade and a referee out there, someone who's on his way to his job in Footlogger. Two, two. I told you. And when he took her hat, she went, sorry. Exactly. But she was walking the street. I had to look it up.

She was walking the streets, and she got two minutes for hooking. A woman's small hat typically having a narrow, closely turned up brim. This happened to Victoria. Shortly after. Oh, boy. What time you think this guy's happened? What time you think? 8 PM. Real quick, just for fun. That. Shortly after. Oh boy. Time you think this guy's happened.

What time you think? 8 PM. Just for fun. That's like three in the afternoon. I think it's like, yeah, 2 15. Very good. Shortly after 1 30 PM. Perfect.

On Monday, March 14th, patrol officers were called to the area of Government and Belleville streets. Never forget 3 14. That's right. For a report that a man on rollerblades was striking garbage cans with a hockey stick. Well that feels like,

That's classic. Canada, that's what you're gonna do. That should be the official. You're just out here putting shit into the boards. Exactly. By the way, all he's trying to do is signal to the Astros that the next pitch is a fastball. There you go.

Give him a break. Give him a break. A second caller reported the same man causing a disturbance and striking windows of a nearby business with a hockey stick. Can't do that. The thing I'm liking about this is this man's called, it caused rampant destruction all throughout BC, but it is the toque.

Yeah, the hat removal. You don't take someone's toque, all right? You can knock on the windows of a Tim Hortons. Exactly. You want to hit shit, that's fine. Yeah, but you don't take someone's toque. You take someone's toque. No, you tell me what she did.

You took an insult. You take their toque, you've tooken their dignity. But also, too much compassion. You tell me what she did to you. He took a toque. To make you take her toque. He took a toque. And if it's a good enough reason, I understand.

He took her toque. OK. And she could do nothing against it. He took her toque. Who are And she she could do nothing against it. He took her to a game. She was on offense. I took offense to that. I do. And she couldn't. She couldn't fight against. He took her toke and she couldn't take it anymore. A second caller. That's what I said. Reported that the man was causing a disturbance striking windows of nearby businesses. The thing to me is roller blades is, I said earlier it's a commitment,

it is a process to put them on. Are you already window hitting mad before you put them on? Or is it after you've had them on and now you're having a falling down moment? Just the lacing up when you're angry. Like gonna kill himself. Did he nearly see himself in the mirror? It's a snap.

Around, wrapping around. The man, this is so Canadian to me the man did not break the windows so we're just saying tap it on him tap tap tap that's his ass he's going around exactly right you probably just put one extremely effective Randy sorry I want I was like I've had flashbacks of the black office like that and then and then and then okay Chelsea Dagger flash office officers that's a great movie with Stallone that nobody's seen flash Hawk officers located the

suspect in the area of how perfect if you're going to be doing this shit trounce alley. That's a. Trouse over there in Trout. Oh you don't want to go to Trunce. I don't know. You know Trunce alley is not a graphic novel from 1988. It's the secret for the outsiders.

Exactly. It's the insiders. The suspect attempted to evade police by rollerblading around a police car. However, officers caught, it's like an episode of Reno 9. If you put that song while he's going, da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da. I hope he's singing it.

How often? That would be the best. This is such a quick turn. So the suspect evades police by rollerblading around the car. You're like, whoa, getting away. However, officers on foot caught him. That's true. So he had one move.

They had one move. And he's probably going backwards. He's like, look. Or they're just looking at him. They're like, he'll tire himself out. He tires out. Go he had one move. They had one move. And he's probably going backwards. Exactly. Or they're like just looking at him. They're like, he'll tire himself out. He tires out. Go grab him, Glenn. I hit some business windows.

I took a toque. What do you got to do? I mean, state of mind, you probably could just be like, whew. Two minutes. Two minute minor. And then he'd be like, all right. Two minutes for toqueing. Pull his shirt over his head for toot taking.

Where was I? Threw his gloves down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so they get him over on Trout's Alley. The suspect was taken to the ground and arrested without further incident because once you go to the ground, it's over. It's over, it's over. They call him in.

The suspect was not injured during the arrest. Officers transported the suspect to, you know a lot of times it's like if it's Rochelle Police Department, my hometown, you'd say RPD. Yeah. They went Vic PD. Oh, Vic PD.

Yeah, they don't go VPD. Vancouver International, something. Victoria, I think. Victoria, Victoria. Victoria, yeah. So that's like the state, that's like the state he's basically at. They took him to Vic PD cells

where he was held for a bail hearing. He faces recommended charges of robbery. Oh, from the two. The file remains under investigation. And then I love this. If you have information about this incident and have not yet spoken to investigators. What more information?

How many investigators are on this? Please call, and I don't prank them. How much was the two? It could be grand larceny. Our non-emergency line at 250-995-754, extension one. If you want to report what you know anonymously, See line at 250-995-754, extension one. If you want to report what you know anonymously, like if you're like, I'm not getting that. Say the number again so our fans can call me.

250-995-7654. I'm calling it. Or you can do it anonymously at 800-222-8477. How nice of a place that you live where this is the thing that is drawing the most investigators. I know, it's interesting that investigators are still on it. They're on it, man. Right. You know what? This is like an opening check case. Hey, is that, that is drawing the most investigators. I know, noticing that investigators are still on it.

They're on it, man. Right, this is like an open-end check case. You know why the investigators are still working on this thing because they've been busy reading the Memory Palace. That's right. Nate DeMeo's book, pick it up now. I'm so proud of you for the podcast

and for putting this book out. Pick it up and Merry Christmas everybody. Happy New Year, Happy Hanukkah, all that stuff. We'll have great, we have great guests coming up. We're recording a bunch of them today that we'll release over the next couple of weeks. We love you and we'll see you next time. Thank you.