Dumb People Town - Nate Fridson and Alison Klemp - Not Drunk, Avoiding Potholes

Episode Date: March 5, 2021

This week comes to town to hang with Daniel, Jason and Randy to hear about a man that finds some grenades.

Skypains Avenue Couldn't make this up. So listen to our podcast jam with co-host Armand Dan. Ventures, don't be a jerk. Cause when the music gets the funny hits, we are gonna take you down. Stick around, make a sound, hunger down, it's Dumb People Town. Hey, townies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population U. Population Frem Population Frem. Frem.

Nate Fritz and Allison Klepp. Hi, guys. Hi. Hello. This is the best union since Peaches and Herb. Peaches and Herb, they should have got in D-United because you guys are reunited. No, you are united as an awesome force.

Two hilarious comedians who decided to marry each other or are going to get married and they are friends of ours and we're so glad to have you back on the show. Nate, Allison, this is your first time on the show, correct? Yeah, first time.

Love it. Did we first meet in Madison and then went to the cabin? We did. So within 24 hours of knowing me, you were at my cabin. You were in his child. That is I yeah, I it was it's kind of like a Freddy Krueger

thing in that way. I just like immediately jump in to the depth, but you were in. I mean, there's no no wonder you became like a lifelong friend, because if you're at my cabin within twenty four hours and you haven't and you don't hate me like you you're in, like you're in. It is an honor. It was an honor then. It's an honor now. So many, yeah, it's so many great moments. We've had so many great moments on the road.

I'm thinking of a moment that the four of us had together, Alison, Nate, me and Jay, when in San Francisco, we went to our buddy, Derek Lipkin's friend's office party in Sausalito where it was like an office party slash karaoke and the two of you guys got up on the mic and you were so much fun together. It was so much fun to watch you. I was like, oh, these people are getting married. We on a boat?

We on a boat? It was a pleasure cruise. It was a delight and an evening that involved so many things that are not legal anymore. No. Travel, karaoke. All day. Yeah. Boat.

I know. Random people. Random people. High fives. Sausalito got canceled. Sausalito was just completely excised from America. They took it out. They canceled it.

They're canceled. They got rid of it. Well, we believe- Come on a barge with Dr. Seuss's books. That's right. Just a couple of them, guys. Just six. And by the way, it was Dr. Seuss's estate

that canceled Sausalito as well. So give credit where credit is due. So I have a question for you guys because you live in New York, you guys live in Bushwick, and I don't think people realize how many dumb people there are living in New York. People think, all right, New York,

it's very cosmopolitan. Everyone's so smart. No, there are so many dumb people there. Do you think the dumb people are multiplying in New York? Well, I think it's, yeah. I mean, odds are just because of being stuck inside for a year, you know, there's nothing, uh, you know, there's all these people think about like every awful relationship that shouldn't have continued. Right. Yeah. Don't point to each other. Stop it.

Oh, Hey, come on. No, but they're, they're, yeah. You should ask. You were pointing through Nate to your neighbors. I get it. I get it. No, but that is true. Like, look, there's a lot of people who are like, dumb people don't care. They're just like, let's just make lots of babies. Like they don't. Let's see what happens. Yeah. They don't like map.

There is a lot of let's see what happens with dumb people. Yeah. And we'll see what happens. When I first moved to this apartment, my across thethe-hall neighbors were like, they would just acquire. It was like a sitcom in that they would just acquire characters throughout the year. First, it was just a couple. And then I think she got the kids from someone else. So then she had three kids.

Then they got a pit bull. And then they, at one point started running like a generator from the hallway like the hallway plug was powering their entire place so their door never closed and you would just hear you just hear like sounds

can I give you the title of the sitcom for the thing across the hall and Pitbull makes six and it stars it actually stars Pitbull makes six. And it stars... It actually stars Pitbull, the rapper. He's in it. No, he voices the dog.

He voices the dog. Pitbull. Yeah, he voices the dog. The Pitbull goes all around the world, of course. Of course. All around. World wide. All right.

So let's get into a dumb story because we have one right here. I'm so happy you guys are here. Here we go. This was sent in by Alvin Katabay at akatabay36. And you know it's Easter. It's that here we go. This was sent in by Alvin Catabay at a Catabay thirty six and you know it's that season coming up. You get that Catabay egg

fantastic. Hey Catabay the conjure. Okay, this comes from Sandy Sandy Oregon, although there's a rumor that it some they were saying like Portland as well. I don't know. Okay, I'll read you the headlines. We've had many great nights, the four of us in Portland.

Yes. Yes. Drunken driver backs into Clackamas County patrol vehicle. I mean. Clackamas. Clackamas. Which feels good to say. Isn't it?

That sounds fun. Right. Clackamas sounds like a band that owned, like that this band saved the ninth ward of New Orleans. The Clackamas. Right. The Clackamas Seven. Clackamas sounds like a band that owned, like that this band saved the ninth ward of New Orleans. The Clackamas. Clackamas 7. Clackamas. Clackamas County.

Clackamas is my favorite dinosaur. It was. It's a great dinosaur. It had a nose like a trombone. This is a ska dinosaur. Clackamas County also sounds like a regional rapper. Yes. Yeah.

There's a lot of references you won't get. But the beats, my goodness. The beats. It's a lot of local Seattle references. The dicks. The hamburgers. What? The people over the stairs.

Okay. So to be so drunk that you back into a patrol car. Right. That's, you know. You're at a level. Yeah, a Clackamas County deputy in front of the judge, right? A hundred percent. I wasn't even that kind of were. Well, are you sure he wasn't going forward? That's entrapment. That is real entrapment. A Clackamas County deputy was on his way to a welfare check in government camp. Also, I'll just tell you spoiler alert.

They never get to this welfare check. No. So who knows what that person needed or who they were supposed to check on. They never made it. That's my issue with welfare. Yeah, with welfare, that welfare, the cops just want that welfare check. They don't want to work for anything. They just want to go get that welfare check.

These Queens, let me tell you these cops, these welfare queen. He was on his way to a welfare check in government camp when he saw a speeding Volkswagen Jetta rapidly approaching from behind near Sandy. The deputy pulled his Mark Patrol car to the right to see if the Jetta would pass him. The suspect

did drive by at speeds estimated between eighty and ninety miles per hour. According to the deputy, I didn't know jetta could go that fast. You know where that jetta was coming from nineteen ninety eight. Yeah, that's an old car. An old car is what that is. You don't know how right you are. The deputy

activated his silver jetta that's kind of dinged up in the back. Yes, remember it's you don't see many like Volkswagen hatchbacks, but I felt for a long time. The Golf. The Rabbit. The Golf. Yeah.

Right? That was your like city car. Yes. Yes. Nate, what was your Detroit car? What did you drive around? I mean, we were, you know, a contrarian family. We had a Subaru Forester.

What? Wow. I can't believe they didn't kick you out of West Bloomfield. We had a Subaru Forester. What? Wow. I can't believe they didn't kick you out of West Bloomfield. We had a Toyota Sienna. Wow. You guys were against the grain. My dad has a 57 Chevy.

It averages out. Anytime people complain, you're like, all right, he's taking out the 50s. He's got this in the garage annoying the shit out of my mom. That has to count for something. what does your mom wish she could put in the garage that that is taking up the space of i mean i guess like everything in the basement probably but it's just like uh just until you can it's just like a series of evicting all the stuff yeah for

sure that is your parents from here on out it's like we got to get rid of all the stuff in the basement get rid of it where are you going to put it in the garage we got in the basement. Get rid of it. Where are you going to put it in the garage? We got to get rid of everything out of the garage. Where are you going to put it? I don't know it back down in the base street on the street and it's got to get rid of it. Take it down the other. So the deputy pulled up pull over to the right lane. The guy goes flying past him at eighty ninety miles per hour. The deputy activated his emergency lights and pulled over the suspect. Sure, as the deputy walked towards the driver. The deputy called out for the suspect to

turn off his car. Instead, the deputy said that the jetta rolled backwards about twenty five feet and hit the front of his patrol car. That's long enough to have a conversation like while hey what what I don't know. I don't know how this thing works. I don't have a I don't get stuck. I only know how to go forward. I don't I don't get in here and help me, sir. Are you really doing these miles? He's trying to undo it. He's going backwards. He's also like that's long enough to have like a full on like rhetorical question. What do you do? Are you doing this? I guess we're doing this. Yeah. Do you see? Do you see my cars there? I know you. We don't

know each other. It's a full on yeah. The deputy hits, so he rolls back twenty five. He hits the front of the patrol car. The deputy reported smelling alcohol coming from inside the car. He also stated there was an open can of bush light in the suspects cup holder. Yeah, you don't care if you've got bush light. First of all, usually you care if you're of bush light in the suspect's cup holder. You don't care. If you've got bush light, first of all, usually... Dan, you do care. If you're drinking bush light, period, you don't care. No, you care about your calorie intake. If you're drinking bush light.

Bush light. No, that's true. I was huge into fitness in college. Yeah, that's why. Bush light. A lot of bush light. And you're spending all the time behind the wheel. It means you're not getting enough exercise.

You've got to cut the calories. You're not getting not getting enough exercise. You got to cut the calories. You're not getting your steps in. You got to fit the beer drinking in at some point. Why not do it when you're driving on the highway? He's doing curls. I will admit this. The Van Kirk family reunion, every year we get a keg, and every year it's bushlight.

Bushlight. Dan, please. Is it smooth? Can it be something else? No. Uncle Ken picks it. Nicola Baltro. Uncle Ken wants bushlight.

Wants bushlight. I get it. Does Ken wants Bush Light. He wants Bush Light. Does he have like a Bush Light connection? No, that's just his beer choice. He's the inside guy. Dan, I can't argue with him because I like Domino's pizza. But by accident. We know what we're getting and we like it. Oh, all right.

Well, maybe it started as an accident for him. Well, Bush Light usually does. Bush Light starts as an accident. And then it causes many accidents. There's a lot of kids that started as an accident for him. Well, push light usually does right. Light starts as an accident. And then it causes many accidents. There's a lot of kids that started as an accident because of push light. The deputy asked the suspect why he let his car roll backward into the patrol vehicle. That has to be rhetorical.

The suspect ready for this. Jeffrey D. Wayne Cannon. Yes. How is this? How is this not a middling comic Jeffrey D. Wayne Cannon. Yes, how is this? How is this not a middling comic D. Wayne Cannon Jeffrey D. I picture like the D. Wayne is in like

quotations. Also, you know, Jeffrey D. Wayne. Yeah, and he opens the show and sells his merch from the stage. Yes, everything before we get out of here right, who is the guy ran in Dallas? The that

guy, I had a guy in Chicago. The opener was brought his merch up and sold it from the stage note and then would position himself before the exit of the showroom so that people would go by his merch before they came by mine and

the first two nights. I was like don't do that. You let it go to night and that well, the first night was no. Then the second night was he did it again and then by the third night, I realized the club and him gave no shits about what I thought and all I was going to do is just keep fighting people every day. I was like whatever

get it. So we had a guy. We had a guy who had his hisphrase was what? Titties. Yeah. Something about titties. I mean, that's, look, that's, it's popular. Timeless. It's good.

It's relatable. It is relatable. It's like around. It's a little too political for me, but it's fine. Hey, I don't, we don't like to pick a side. Okay. Hey, look, I didn't come to this show to think. All right. Right. We don't like to pick a side, okay? Hey, look, I didn't come to this show to think, all right?

So he had these shirts where like, I think you lifted up flaps and you could see grass. What? It was some kind of show like that. And he asked us if he could sell them. No, he started off by bragging about how many he had sold the night before. He's like, I sold 50 shirts last night. He started going off.

Had he not said that, we wouldn't have said anything. So then he said, hey, so can I sell these things after the show? And we were like- Without looking at each other, without even checking with each other, we're like, no, no, no. Not tonight.

And he was like- You sold 50 the other night. Yeah, you had a great night the other night. We're like, we need to sell our stuff because, and we went into a long explanation of how we split the money. Which you didn't need to do. Did I need to do?

We just said no. And so then he does an extra like 20 minutes on his set because he's so mad. He showed you. He showed us. Yeah.

And showed us his titties. If I can't sell merch, I'm selling material. Yep. And then we sold a lot of merch and we were grateful that he didn't sell one thing. At least he listened. So car rolls back.

I want to see the tech on this shirt. I do too. I can't stop thinking about the Did you guys buy one? No, he was a comedian. I'm trying to find him. He was a comedian who was also on American Ninja Warrior which he shared with us.

How funny were you on that? Did you just climb the rings in a funny way? So anyway, yeah, Jeffrey D. Everyone falls in a here's our guy. So the suspect Jeffrey D. Wayne

Cannon of Portland repeatedly is a quote repeatedly looked confused and then looked back saying, I didn't know what happened, according to the sheriff's office. I didn't know what happened. Another dumb people town shirt. I didn't know what happened. I didn't know what. I didn't.

Well, that's important. Yes. Because you never want to admit to anything to a police officer because that can actually, against you in court. That is very true. You got to claim the fifth. I don't know. I don't know what happened. Your car just hit my car.

If you say that's what happened, that's what you're saying. I don't know. I wasn't even here. I don't know what happened. I didn't know what happened in the moment is great. It's like a Schrodinger's alibi. What is a crime? What is what?

Immediately going to past tense. I didn't know what's happening. The car is still there. It's happening right now. You haven't hit the other car yet. I didn't know what happened. I had not been aware. I had not been notified. I didn't know what you said is now happening then.

I didn't know what you said is now happening. Then I didn't know what you said is now happening. Then like huh, yeah, yeah, he's bending time. Okay, I'm going to ask you as this. How old boy is Jeffrey D way and we're only halfway through the story, but we're going to take a break after this part. How old is Jeffrey D Wayne Canon Cannon? And guess what? There are times when this works. I'm going to show you the photo first. Okay, let's see it. All right, look up on your screen. Oh, God, Jesus. Now, you don't know this could be. He could be a Florida twenty three. Yeah, Jesus, I'll give you a freebie and tell you he's not twenty three, but I'm not telling you how close all right

is not Allison. Nate, what do you guys think? You can have separate answers, by the way. That's your you don't have to come to a consensus. That's your Jeffrey D. Wayne Cannon. No, we wouldn't. JDC, right? No, you wouldn't. I'm going to go 34. 34 years old.

That's a good call. Okay, that's a good guess. I'm going to go 42. 42 years old. He looks like Jim Furyk if Jim Furyk did a lot more meth than he currently is doing. Than he's currently doing. I'm going to say 48.

If you told me straight up, this is James Taylor's son, I'd be like, yeah. Living with Taylor, hard to grow up with a famous parent. It's really hard to grow up with a famous parent. It's really hard to grow up with a famous guy has seen fire and I has smoked fire and rain. It looked like we've got a still midway through the sentence of him saying the fuck do you say to me? It's midway through.

You mean to tell me? Excuse me. Excuse. By the way, he's white. Did someone say 40 yet? No one said 40. Hey, Judd Apatow, this is 40. This is 40.

I said 48. Jay, you say 40. Allison, you said 34. And Nate, 42. Dan. Okay. One of you is one year off. Okay.

Would anyone like to adjust up or down? I'm going to adjust down to 47. Okay. I'm going to adjust down to 39. Okay. I would adjust you guys. What do you guys think? No.

Hey, I mean, I got to adjust. Yeah. So I'll say 43. 43. Okay. I'll go 35. Okay. Okay.

All right. We're going to take a break. When we come back, we're going to find out how old Jeffrey D. Wayne Cannon is. We'll be right back. Stick around. Make a sound. There's more Don't People Town. Hey, guys.

Welcome back to the show. Nate Fridson, Alison Klemp. Let's first of all, tell people how to follow you before we get to this gentleman's age. JDC. Tell people how to follow you and pick up your merch, CDs, where they can see you, all kinds of stuff.

Let us know. Start with you, Alison. Me? Yes. You can follow me at Alison Klemp, A-L-I-S-o-n-k-l-e-m-p on all social media and um you can check out my podcast the table verse it's a really fun rpg podcast in another world where there is no covid administration. No former administration. There's no COVID. Isn't that nice?

Isn't that so nice? Yeah. So nice. Hell yes. Sounds beautiful. A little preview of the, you know, space hotel we're going to have. Yeah, just like, you know, gunslingers in space. Very Guardians of the Galaxy vibes.

I love it. Awesome. That would be great. Check that out. We've been on a little COVID hiatus, but we're going to start recording again soon. Awesome. So that'll be exciting. Nice that out. We've been on a little COVID hiatus, but we're going to start recording again soon. Awesome. So that'll be exciting. Nice.

Love it. Nate? Yeah, you can follow me on Twitter at Nate Fridson, N-A-T-E-F-R-I-D-S-O-N. You're a great follower. Thank you. Thank you kindly. And then for all kinds of angry jokes and then also opinions uh, angry, angry jokes. And then also, uh,

uh, opinions about Detroit sports that nobody cares about. That's, uh, that's what you want. You come to Nate, you come to at Nate Fridson. It's a lot of things.

Your album is so good. And yeah, and that's my album. Thank you. Thank you very much. Best guy so far. Best guy so far. Pick it up on iTunes,

Spotify. It's, it's, I hear it's on Pandora. Nice. It's great. I hear. And you Pandora. Nice. It's great. I hear. And you really opened up something with that.

Okay. That's far from it. We should mention that this will be on, okay, probably, yeah, before our, we're doing standup and a live Cheap Seats. How about that? We've never done that. We figured, you know what?

Let's do it in the pandemic with Nowhere Comedy Club, which we love. So on March 20th, we're going to do standup and then we're going to do we found the clip you ready for the clip we're going to mention with it is michael jordan playing basketball against charlie and martin sheen oh my god and the announcer is dick van patten do you know it it is not yeah it's so good it's so good i can't wait to rip that whole clip a new asshole. I'm just going to tell you that the Sheens are wearing what is like if someone came from a different planet and was like, what does basketball clothing look like? They should have been the aliens from Space Jam.

People need to get tickets for that. Where can they get tickets? At eventbrite.com. And while you're there, we're doing a live Dumb People Town on April 10th. It's going to be the Honey Dumb. Ryan Sickler, one of our favorite guests on the show, and he does a great podcast, The Honeydew, and

the band The Cactus Blossoms from Minneapolis. They're a throwback, old school, Hank Williams Sr. It's Hank Williams without the racism. It's fun. So that's going to be great. Get your tickets at eventbrite.com. And then Daniel Van Kirk. Oh yeah, on the 19th, we're doing pub trivia night. And then also on the 27th is the next live pen pals.

All that stuff's at danielvancurk.com. Plus when we're playing bingo in April, just come hang. It's a really good, it is such a good hang. And let's get back to this. So we saw D Wayne, Jeffrey D Wayne Cannon, and he does not look like a D Wayne at all. Let's just be straight up. You know, and he does not look like a D. Wayne at all. Let's just be a family name. You know, it's a family name. So he

is we're trying to guess his age and the ages that we came after the the one year one direction. Let me see if I can remember everybody. So Allison said thirty five. Nate went up to forty three. I went down to forty seven. I went to thirty nine. Okay, so

halfway through this story, there's still more fun stuff to happen, but I will tell you now that Jeffrey D. Wayne Cannon is 41 years old. I went the wrong way. Two of you. We could have both gone opposite ways

instead. Yes. Jesus. Right in the middle. A subsequent search of the suspect's car revealed a half full can of bushlight. You know he was mad about that and that was in the one in the cup holder. Let me finish along with yeah another yeah, you already got rights. It's

that's his that's his like point break moment. Where am I going to go man? Eugene, let me finish the beer man. You're not going to drink it. You already took my keys. I can't even back up any farther. Your goddamn car, which I allegedly may or may not have hit. I don't know what happened.

I don't know what happened. How do I know you didn't hit my car? That's right. Because you want my beer. Is this a shakedown, man? How do I know the world didn't roll you into me? They found the half can of Bush Light, along with a number of other empty beer cans and a baggie in the center. You never want to have a baggie

a baggie in the center containing cook on. Yeah, according to a best case, this guy, you, the cops are coming man. They are pulling you over and you just leave beer in the center console and coke, right? Like you had a beer in seventy seven. Also, if you have beer in the center council and coke, don't drive 80 or 90 in your jetta right ever ever right. I maybe he was going for like like good

will, you know, it's like well, if I just leave it out, then certainly he won't mind that I have half the time you get arrested because you act like you did something wrong right. If I act like this is normal, they're going to be on my side. You think that half drunk beer is bad way to get inside the center council. Wait, what am I saying? When asked why when asked why he was doing all this quote, Mr. Cannon explained that he

planned to party with a friend this weekend. No shit. I think I think you are the friend D Wayne. Yeah. You're partying with yourself. I love the idea of a guy who is driving around with cocaine. Like, there will be some of this left this weekend. I will definitely have this cocaine still. That's the least believable. I love the idea of him having plans. Right, right, right. This is a guy who doesn't plan anything ever.

Just look at his sweatshirt. Most people on Coke do is they ration things out. A field sobriety test. A field sobriety test was conducted. Oh, go ahead, Allison. He's like, oh, I got a pencil you in. I'm kind of full on Saturday. It's really tight. Can we

push? Can we push to next Friday? You know, let's circle back. You know what? I'm sorry. Can I bump you? I'm going to bump you. Check in with my assistant and then she'll set you up for next week. I got to bump you? I'm going to bump you, check in with my assistant, and then she'll set you up for next week. I got to bump you to next week.

A field sobriety test was conducted and Cannon later provided a breath sample, which returned a blood alcohol content above the legal limit. When asked how he thought he did on the sobriety test, I love stuff like this. I got away.

Cannon told the deputy not good. How do you think you did? But again, Allison's right here. He should have said, I don't know. I'm not here to judge myself because you don't want any of this on tape. Right. I didn't see the test happen. I don't know what the test happened.

I didn't know the test even happened. You said the test happened. That's fine. It's racially biased. That test is biased. You know that. I can't really judge because when I hit a DUI and crashed my car,

I blew a.08 and my actual reaction was, so I'm good? .07. You are very much not good. Please go into that jail cell. How long were you in jail for? The night.

Maybe that's the story we talk about that. Not we said he was not good. The sheriff asked him to peg himself on a scale of one to ten in terms of intoxication. What number do you guys think he gave himself?

Jeffrey D. Wayne Cannon gave himself on a scale of one to ten. Ten is really intoxicated in one. Again, Allison's just put it in my head. This lawyer, this like PD who's

like stop answering this cop's questions. Do not say you were bad at the field sobriety. Do not rate your level of drunken do it. Be used against you in a court along on a scale one to 10. What do you guys think he gave himself? He gave a six. I'm going to say he was

one of these really enthusiastic people who's like I'm an 11 good one. All right, Jay, what do you think? I think he was an eight. Okay, knew he would. I think he was a seven. He's like man. I'm all of our patron people who are watching this show live along with us. If you're a member of the patron, you can get a perk like this

to where you're getting like a live mini show so fun to do it just for you and you can hang out, get your answers in in the chat right now because at a scale of one to ten, he pegged himself at so so fun do it just for you and you can hang out get your answers in in the chat right now, because at a scale of one to ten, he pegged himself at a four. Oh, I think that's a great number. You know, you're drunk, you know you're drunk, but you're not saying it's obvious. It's obvious you've been drinking, but right yeah, I'm a four rank less than half the beer. It should also be noted

that deputy said his car had a sticker on a back that says and I'm going to share this with you and read it at the same time. Here's the picture not drunk avoiding. Hey, this is a real sticker. He already had on what Jason correctly called was a nineteen nineties folks. Yes, it is like Mickey Mouse peering over the side of the thing. Oh, it gets better. Here's another picture.

Not drunk, avoiding potholes. Here's another picture. Tom Mickey Mouse. This is the car. He has another sticker on the right side that says one less Prius. And then he has another sticker.

I don't even get that. What does that mean? That means he... Hey, I got this car, so there's one less goddamn Prius on the road. Yeah i'm supporting when he got this car he also uh torched a prius and look i don't i don't i don't mean this in a negative way but just looking at this car and these like stickers this guy loves a perfect circle. He's also absolutely fan. He always has a dirty bumper to I'll say this about him

spoiler alert. There is a spoiler but whichever one you called it then the Disney sticker does feel way out of place, right? What were you going to say, Nate? I love I love not drunk avoiding potholes. This is like a like a tip your your idiot friend gives you. Yes, you know if you have this say, Nate? I love not drunk avoiding potholes. This is like a tip your idiot friend gives you. You know, if you have this, you can get out of stuff.

Yeah, they'll just see that. They'll see that. You declared you're not drunk. Three things. They can't arrest you if you do that. Put the sticker on the back of your car. Always say you're an under five if they tell you how drunk you are. Rate yourself.

You're under five. Just say four. Guys, you know, when I used to be a federal agent, Jack Phillips, my boss, told me a story on how to get out of tickets. Really? And he was like, Daniel, here's the deal. Don't ever tell someone, I'm a federal agent. Don't try and show them your badge.

I will tell you this. Keep your ID behind your badge, so you have to take out the badge to show your ID. And then I'm like, well, what if I don't have my badge on? He's like, here's what you do. Don't say because he was like a 20 year state trooper. So he was like, don't say I know a cop. Don't say, oh, my boss was a state trooper. What you say is whatever they say to you. You say you get told that a lot. And I go, what do you mean? He's like get told that a lot and I go. What

do you mean he's like I pull you over? I go okay, he goes no, we're going to act it out. I'm like all right, so then so then I'm like okay and he's like no, you pull me over. I go okay, so I go sir, you know how fast you were going. He goes and he goes. You know what my boss is always telling me through here. I should never go fast and then and then I go okay cool and he's like yeah, just he told me there's going to be a now. If you're lucky, they'll ask you who's your boss and then they've asked you and you just say Tony Danza to get this information never worked. Okay, never I got pulled over twice. Well, times I was like my

boss is always Tommy that's like you should listen to your fucking boss in it. Get out of here. I was like, my boss is always telling me that you should listen to your fucking boss. Get out of here. Okay, we're going to come to it. Here we go. Yep. We will leave you guys with this.

Yes. What was the blood alcohol content of Jeffrey D. Wayne Cannon? So we have an experienced person. Allison, you blew a point away, which is the that is the minimum legal limit of what that might be the most. Anyone who's been on dumb people town is blown, right? No way. I'm kidding. There's definitely people who have blown more. There are people who have blown

like a.28 and you're like is that just pouring straight vodka through the breathless? No, I'm saying guests within the show. Not people on the show. So how drunk was he? What do you guys think? He didn't think he did well. I'd say.22. did well. 0.22.

0.22. Okay. Nate. I'm going to go 0.19. All right. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to do 0.12. Randy says 0.12. 0.16. 0.16. Okay. I can tell you this. One of you is exactly

Oh, I love this. What it is the live episode. So now we get to play the game within the game. Welcome to Westworld. Who do you think is exactly right? You want to stick to your guns? Or did you get a good vibe off somebody else? Or do you think you can read me?

It's getting tense in Bushwick. Okay, Nate's sticking with himself. Okay, good for you. 0.22, 0.19. And I think it's me, 0.12. I say it's me, 0.12. Everyone's sticking. Okay, everybody's sticking. 0.22, 0.19, and I think it's me, 0.12. I say it's me, 0.12. Everyone's sticking. Okay, everybody's sticking.

0.12 is way too low. Get your answers in in that chat or in your cubicle or your work from home office that I imagine most of you are in these days. I will also remind you that if you're a Patreon member, you can hear some bonus content because right after this, we're going to get to hear a dumb story. Someone said 0.21. Someone said 0.21 on the chat.

Okay, that was somebody's direct yes. They can also get in who they think is to one someone said point to one okay. That was somebody's direct. Yes, they can also get in who they think is right, because I will tell of you. He was arrested on charges of felon and possession of a firearm to you. I I don't know what do I is and possession of a controlled substance driving while driving, driving while incredibly intoxicated, so then I'm now going to switch to i'm going to switch to alice in okay ready jeffrey d wayne cannon blue blue a point

to two rush city should go with the one person who had experience well done alison that's impressive. I don't remember the one person who had experience with this stuff. Well done, Allison. That's impressive. I don't remember the last time we had someone guess exactly the blood alcohol content. Ooh, that's so good. It's so hard to guess. Something of a specialty of mine. It's something to be proud of.

It really is. It's something to be brought up at your wedding. Yep. This is amazing. Let's probably move to New York. Right? Where you don't have to drive. This is awesome. You guys are the to New York. Right? Where you don't have to drive. This is awesome.

You guys are the best. Thank you for doing this. Flew by super fast. Thank you to our Patreon fans who are watching this show. And we love you guys so much. And I hope you have a great weekend. Follow these guys on social media. They're great follows.

And support Nate's CD. And just, you know, these are up and coming comments. And Allison's podcast. And Allison's podcast. These are up-and-coming comics. And Allison's podcast. And Allison's podcast. Please, both. Buy Nate's CD because we have a wedding to pay for. That's right. Help us.

And support her podcast. And these are up-and-coming comics. It's a great way to support them. And oh shit, we've got to get back to work. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb