Dumb People Town - Neal Brennan - Truck Don't Surf

Episode Date: April 9, 2024

Comedian, director, and podcaster Neal Brennan (Crazy Good on Netflix, Blocks podcast) stops by as Daniel explains how a man drove his truck into the ocean and claims it isn't his fault, Randy describes a couple that claims a restaurant fined them for being bad parents, and Jason warns against feeding wild alligators, and so much more! Thanks to our sponsor: Faherty! For listeners of the show, Faherty Brand is offering 20% off your first order when you go to Fahertybrand.com/DPT you enter the promo code 20DPT at checkout.

Dan and Ran and Jay will share tales of folks so unaware they lack in grace and sometimes choose the life they choose. We'll make the news, breaking down each epic fail. In Florida, there's half-price bail. I'm happy to say they couldn't make this up. So listen to our podcast, Dan co-host Armand Dan. And don't be a jerk. Because when the music gets the funny hits, we are going to take you down. Stick around. Make a sound. Hungry Down is Dump People Town.

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These guys are the absolute best. For listeners of this show, Faraday Brand is offering 20% off your first order when you enter the promo code 20 DPT at checkout, go to Faraday brand.com slash DPT. That's F A H E R T Y brand.com slash D P T. And check them out. Hey, Taddies. Welcome to another episode of dumb people.

Population. Population. Brennan, Neil Brennan. One of our favorite guests To do this show Welcome back to town Buttoning up guys Button it up

Button it up Neil The show's full of people Who should button it up Let people know that I'm One of the judges Not one of the people On the show

You're not one of the dumb people I button four buttons Neil Or as you morons Call it church clothes Hey now This was my favorite moment That you'd done this show

Like you've done it a few times But the very first time You did it After which you're. This was my favorite moment. You've done this show, like, you've done it a few times, but the very first time you did it, afterwards, you're like, this is the highest praise ever you can receive from Neil Brennan. You're like, it's a good format. Yep. I was like, dude, that was effusive. Didn't we do it at Moon Tower? Didn't we do it at Moon Tower with Chris Redd? That was so good.

Really fun. So you've done it in the studio. I don't remember the jokes, but I remember the feelings of the jokes. It was good times. So here's what I- You and Chris Redd. It was hilarious. Chris Redd had some killer jokes in there. So this is what I will say about it.

I love that in some ways people have forgot. You've done so much great standup and great shows that people have forgotten that you are a writer. So I, at your core, am I wrong to say that? You're a comic, but you're a writer. at your core, am I wrong to say that? You're a comic, but you're a writer. I think of you as having written so much great stuff that your instincts are to create a joke off of material. Just so you know, Jay, you could have said all of that

just like Jiminy Glick, and it would have been the same thing. A lot of people say, why on earth? You're a writer. You were a better writer than performer. No, I never said better than that. No, you did not. I said I, you did not. Yeah, I still look at things like autistically.

Right. Thank you. To answer your question. Yes. Ultimately, I'm autistic first and a comedian second. Social issues. Perfect for the show. That's the show for, you know, how the world is so dumb.

You want to jump in? Let's jump in and we'll promote Neil's stuff in a second. All right. All right, ready? Yeah. perfect for this show that's the show for you know how the world is so dumb let's uh you want to jump in let's jump in and we'll promote neil's stuff in a second all right ready yeah sent in by adam poulton at poultsky 75 thanks so he's 39 years old like poultsky he's definitely born in 75 probably yeah or it's his football number right poulki. Oh, that's his email? That's the temperature. Yeah, that's the handle. His handle. Got it. Okay. Headline is this.

Not my fault the truck don't surf. Man tells deputies after driving truck into ocean. What I love about today's society is how much people take, you know, blame and credit for things. Oh, yeah, because it's not his fault. Is my bad gone? As a thing? Yeah, like people's not his fault like is my bad gone uh as a thing yeah like people just well it's my bad is like uh that's the that's that's pleading guilty right right sure but i don't think anyone does it my bad yeah like my i mean it's like i'm not guilty

but i it was technically that was my bad my bad also presupposes that it's on you if you take umbrage with it. Yeah, no, it's my bad. We all do have bads. Sure. That was mine. If you're offended by that, then it's your bad.

It's your bad. Yeah, yes. You need to be good with it because it's my bad. Truck in the ocean. My bad. Truck in the ocean, man. My bad.

Not my fault that truck don't surf. Man tells deputies after driving truck into ocean. A jury of his peers ruled your bad. That's right. The jury said this is your bad. I'm pleading my bad. My favorite is when someone states exactly what happened and then ends it with a, and that's on me. That's a similar one.

When they go, look, the truck is in the ocean right now, and that's on me. I'm going to have to live with that. Probably not the most rigorous moral interior life. I'm going to pretend I'm thinking about it. I'm not. Right. Yeah. Anybody who professes that they are going to have to live with it is already okay with living with it.

They've already forgiven themselves. Yes. And they're having okay. Yeah, because they're like, I'm going to carry that around. it is already okay they've already forgiven themselves and they're having okay yeah because they're like i'm gonna carry that around and that's on me and that's on me is always it's not the end of the conversation because then it's like and that's on me but let's focus on a much smaller detail that has nothing to do with it that will make seem like a lot of ending marriages we didn't really celebrate your birthday and that's on me yeah i i fooled around with all of her friends and that's on me and we could have looked the other way and that's on me yeah i i fooled around with all of her friends and that's

on me and we could have looked the other way and that's me on them i never said i was perfect that's i never said i was just a false equivalency yeah god god made me how he made he's like that truck don't serve but you show me in the in the manual where it says it doesn't surf. Fair. That's also a guy who's watched nothing but Pixar movies for 20 years and thought, like, we'll try to probably surf. Probably wants to surf. I mean, it's dinosaur. It's got a backstory.

It's a V story in Cars 6. That truck wants to surf. Yep. Larry the Cable Guy himself can't surf but as a truck he might be able to get on a board okay long board new smyrna is that smyrna smyrna smyrna beach florida yep witness video shows the moment a man drove his car through the water in the beach and deputy body camera video shows the repercussions that came with it on tuesday the volusia county sheriff's office said wait for it jason i'm gonna this is the new motherfucker oh my god that's it does

start with a b born jason brazook who exits nailed it brazekowitz braerkowitz would any of you like to try and spell this bruce no no b r z burrs u s z k i e w i c z berserkowitz berserkowitz berserkowitz but he'll go like no it's berkowitz all right no yeah you're right that's on me everybody calls me bz you can call me the bees for short whatever you want okay uh jason b drove around a gate that was closed with a do not enter sign without paying the toll fee. Well, it's closed.

Oh, he's. But they're also being like, hey, you drove through that gate and you didn't pay the toll. I was going to pay my way out the gate. Why do we have to pay when we go in? No, I can't. You pay. I have a separate idea. Yeah.

Wouldn't it be great if once a year we got to drive through a gate? Just nail it. Just full smoking the bandit bow and let it explode chickens in the air just you get one a year you get one i think if you get one in your life that would be like you got to choose when you're gonna do it like let's do it well let me ask you guys would you go coming out of the grove, boom, into the single arm? Or would you want chain link, padlock, chain? Like going through a gate. Going through a gate. Or would you want picket fence?

I want to stick it to the grove. Absolutely. The grove. Outdoor house. I know you're longstanding beef with the grove. Yes. But I do want double action. Okay.

Pow. And I want a guy in a jumpsuit hanging on to one of the legs. One of the sides of the fence. I want someone walking a very small dog to have to yank it back. Of course. Well, you get it back in time. You always get it back in time. Oh, and then get it close enough. I told you I'd never let anything bad happen.

Well, I never. Well, I never. Yeah, there you go. Also, I've crossed the street thousands of times. I told you I'd never let anything bad happen. Well, I never. Well, I never. Yeah, there you go. Also- I've crossed the street thousands of times. It's never happened. It does say, I might have skipped over this, drove around a closed gate.

Right. He went around. So I think the gate is- This is one of those beach gates where they've set up a gate, but if you really wanted to just sand it- You could go around it. You're fine. Gate's not really doing its job.

Right. It's kind of on the gate. It's kind of on the gate. Didn't pay the toll. Right. According to the affidavit- Guys, let's not get hung up in Gaza. Go Right. It's kind of on the gate. It's kind of on the gate. Didn't pay the toll. Right. Guys, let's not get hung up in Gaza. Go ahead. Stop.

Moving on. According to the affidavit, the beach was closed since the tide was too high for cars. Okay. To wit, he would say, not a truck. Not too high for the truck. Wait, aren't all beaches basically- Y'all didn't specify. Y'all didn't specify.

And that's on you. You got to put that on the sign. You got to put that on the sign. You got to put that on the sign. I don't think a lot of cars are on beaches. I don't think there's a lot of cars left in Florida. I think it's mostly trucks. Yeah. That's what I think.

I think you're right. Well, in Galveston, I think they have beaches people do still drive on. That's based on Terms of Endearment? The movie Terms of Endearment. The movie Terms of Endearment. Yeah, and Baywatch. This is how the world, I think, now, this messes with my reality of the whole world right now. Why? Because this morning, a TikTok came across my feed of a truck.

It sounds pretty high level when you go, a TikTok came across my feed. TikTok manifested itself. It appeared out of nothing, a TikTok came across my feed. TikTok manifested itself. It appeared out of nothing, out of whole cloth. Sure. And this is before we're talking about this. So you're saying I'm the algorithm. I would assume that this would happen after we're talking about this. But before we're talking about this, did I manifest this story for happening?

It was a truck driving along the beach. Sure. And the guy's trying, and I know it's a guy. I sent it was a truck driving along the beach sure and the guy's trying and i know it's i sent it to a friend it's one of the most satisfying things out of a vehicle truck truck flip flip flip everybody flies into the water into the water the guy gets tossed 20 and when i say 20 feet in the air he's 20 feet in the air i'll bring it up right now he is trying and we'll put it up on the thing he's trying his hardest we're gonna turn this into a reaction video do you know how when you do you know how when you see like a puddle

the little boy and and idiot boy and you says i'm gonna run through that thing and just spray water all over everything like age barriers like when do you try to hit the bag and when do you not? I think I used to do a bit of both. I used to do interact. I saw an upside down box in the middle of a street. And for the first time I drove around it. And that's when you knew you had... I had grown up as a person. So this guy's trying to do that puddle thing along the water.

His car is just... Wait, do you have it? I've clicked it. Now, I don't have a good signal here. Okay. Fair enough. All right, I didn't have good signal here. Okay. Fair enough. I'll explain. His car is he's trying to spray up water in a truck.

What looks like a Ford Explorer or something like that. Sure. He's in the SUV. Car swerves uphill. Swerves uphill, then flips into the water, and guy gets thrown in. But ejected at the point. Somebody share their password with me. Where?

Yeah. Wait, wait. It's going to be worth it. It be worth it it's worth at a beach yeah on the beach he's driving a truck i just did uh you got okay i'm this is gonna be i'm on in a truck driving the amount of breath no but flies dan like he literally gets thrown out at the perfect moment it is when the truck is like this of there's nothing about this in my mind neil you want in my mind yeah dan wants it He literally gets thrown out at the perfect moment. It is such schadenfreude. There's nothing about this. In my mind, Neil. Who wants it? In my mind.

Dan wants it because we've all seen it. Describe what you're saying, Dan. In my mind, Neil was texting. Describe what you want to know. Guy's driving towards camera. Spraying. One man runs out of it. Spraying.

Yeah, he's hitting the brake. He's in a FJ. Oh, my God. Roll, roll, roll. Oh! And the guy gets... It feels so good. It's my God. Roll, roll, roll. Oh! And the guy gets up. It feels so good. It's so sad.

He got up too quick. He gets right up and walks out. That is insane. I'm going to rewind this. Okay. Ready? Roll, roll, roll. Toss.

Toss. Full form. Oh, yeah. Flip. Like, if you told me this was. This is only half of the video. What does he do for the rest of the show? It's like a tourist.

He walks around and wave at everybody? If you told me they. He waits for the French judge? Is this the... This is only half of the video. What does he do for the rest of the day? It's like a tourist? Just walk around and wave at everybody? If you told me they... He waits for the French judge? Is this the new Blue Angels? Oh, my God. And now he just walks away from the truck as though nothing... And why is everybody wearing white? It's like a wedding on the beach.

It's a Muslim country. Oh, okay. Oh, that would track. Thank you. Thank you. But I do think this could be like a tourist thing. Get in the truck, they'll flip it two times, and you fly in the water. A lot of waivers. Got to sign every waiver you're cool with all this oh boy we know

the walk away i love the walk away it's like he i think i will not give you the impression that i've been injured in any way right nope i like the idea of someone walking away and then dying just collapsing like i'm fine it's all broken and that happens that really jello internally jello underneath that is so the fact that came across i think this morning and this is this story is like this is what he went around the gate according to the update the beach was closed the tide was too high for cars the sheriff's office provided video from a witness that shows the BRZ man in his pickup truck driving into the surf. The truck quickly becomes engulfed in water. Also in the video, Brzezikowicz can be seen attempting to do a donut.

That's just him dunking that donut. He's living his best life. Dude, that is... I think once you're in the water, you can't reallying that donut. He's living his best life. Dude, that is... I think once you're in the water, you can't really do a donut. He's more of a bagel. The entire time, right. The entire time he's saying, gonna tell me. Enough about Gossett.

Enough about Gossett. Enough about Gates. He literally the whole time is like, gonna tell me I can't come in here. You're gonna tell me I can't. There are people that are afraid to just get in the water and get in the ocean up to their knees. This guy's like, I'm going to truck this shit. I mean, the mind goes to the Japanese.

The tsunami. Yeah. Sure. That's where the mind goes. Body camera video shows the interaction between deputies. Body camera. Go ahead. He doesn't turn it on.

I'm trying. Following his drive into the ocean you guys want to take a gander at this guy yeah let's take a look at him we could you could go dan we have five minutes left for this story cool we'll just all make jokes about this okay let's let's see him oh god the amazing jonathan looks terrible neil does not look so amazing can i do this to camera neil just goes, it was like a disappointed uncle. He at once has too many and not enough swords on his wrist. I like that he dragged Harley Davidson motorcycles into it.

They dragged him. They're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Look, this was a truck accident. Right. They have to come out and make a statement. Don't forget that Harleys are also very dangerous. I feel like. He's so happy. He's having fun. I feel like he's so happy.

He's having fun. I feel like it's a costume party. He's happier than I've ever been. That's the thing. How is that? Any one of these people is happier. I'm Netflix specials. Doing everything I can.

You gave the greatest intro of a Mark Twain award winner for Chappelle. This guy's happier than when you walked up stage after crushing did not make a difference didn't make a dent no compared to this guy what he's showing is his my all his baseline is better higher than my highest greatest height all he needs is his truck and shark tank to me or sharks yeah literally to me if i said what are you gonna do with the rest of your life he was like i don't know i'd be like great so he'd be like we don't need to do it i'm driving my truck i'm breeding sharks what else do i need all right i don't know to me he looks like he showed up to the costume party like what are you and he goes you've never seen kingpin

i mean that's not even a it's not a what is that is it white are those white dreadlocks i think i think it's multiple ponytails i think you're right he's got right officer he's got multiple ponytails hair of hair and makeup person's like he got a few fly okay you ready for the conversation that's been documented that he had with the responding officer cannot wait okay this is the first thing he says it's not my fault that the truck don't surf that's right he shouted he's right cop replies yeah but you shouldn't be driving on the beach when the gates are closed he then replies i thought i was in england what the cops that by the way great because now he's oh he's got an answer that puts everybody like we don't know what he thinks he's in england and then they go you gotta let him go

all right you're free to go sir he doesn't he got he got out of it royal law does that mean was he trying to go for driving on the wrong side of the road no dude so last night the ocean last night i watched the first episode of the synanon uh documentary about the synanon cult which is this like crazy cults that are similar to other cults it's this crazy it's not not culture similar to other cults Daniel rest in peace no it was like

or as other sure yeah it was basically just for people who don't know it was this guy who himself was an alcoholic but he gathered for the first time ever junkies and literally helped them get off of who himself was an alcoholic, but he gathered, for the first time ever, junkies and literally helped them get off of... When was this on? This was on HBO.

The first episode dropped last night. Great. So, like, it's... And they're dropping one every week. When does the sex kick in? There's no sex. When does the volleyball happen? What kind of cult...

The volleyball happens in episode four. No, but, like, basically, there's a game that they developed that they played where they put all the people who kick the stuff junk in a room and they're just sitting in chairs and they get to just yell at each other it's a game you just yell at each other okay i think it's called being a brennan you're the worst person ever seen in all this stuff that was a game that was a game? That was a game

That was a synonym game Look at what it made you It's called when the Irish can't keep it in anymore But if you don't know how to play the game You lose the game So I'm saying this guy by saying I thought I was in England Just won the synonym game He won

The cop says you thought you were in England You're not in Englandland then brzezikowitz replies are we not in kansas anymore he's just gonna roll with this guy he's just doing work he's still in the association he's rolling this is fucking jazz i hope that's what he had on in the truck too and then he said you're gonna need a bigger boat what yeah he's just doing classic movie quotes he said i'm the captain i hate snakes the deputy goes no as in we're not in kansas brzekowitz can then be seen laughing on camera in response to the deputy he then asked the deputy can i get in trouble for that the cop goes yeah yeah jail time if need be. And then Brzezikowicz says, how much? The deputy goes, a misdemeanor at this point.

The video ends with Brzezikowicz. With him playing electric guitar on the beach? Right. All right. You can cuff me, but not till you beat me in Simon Says. I used to be a bass player in Van Halen. But it's only Guitar Hero. Just that long? The sheriff's office said that as of tuesday afternoon he is

being held at the volusia county beach jail violation of volusia county ordinance failure to pay vehicle vehicular access fee on a 200 bond so he's volusia county beach jail sounds like a place they would film porn right under the title just come over here in the waiting room why are there seven women in here look out here on this just for fun worry about how old is jason brzezkowicz i mean this guy has lived as neil said a life in review he's lived a life we can review a lot of pepper a lot of salt i want to go i'm gonna go 41 you got a grade for Florida. I know he looks older, but this guy doesn't do anything by the book. Florida 41. Yeah.

That might be it. He looks like a wedding DJ. He also is a former wedding DJ. Like, I guess, dishonorably discharged. From the court. Why is nobody dancing? A lot of that. Sir, that's your fourth old-fashioned.

You need to chill out. You can't play a record. It's all R. Kelly. Chill out, y'all. It's all R. Kelly. What? Y'all are perfect? Separate the art from the artist.

All right. Guess we're playing Lido again. Puffy anyone? Jesus. I know you would. You say 41. I think he's 49. Okay. he's four i'll say i'll split the diff 45 okay yeah one of you is exactly right i love this so now we get to play the game do you

who do you think is exactly right stick on 41 yourself or you can jump to another answer neil 41 45 49 i feel good about my choice but i don but I don't, you know, it's life. Right. You know how life is. You're as good as you can get. Y'all been alive before? I'm not doubling down. Who's lived?

41. You staying with it? What did I say? 39? You said 41. You want to stay with it? Stay. Okay.

I mean stay, but not like. Not with excitement. I'm going to stay. I'm going to stay at 49. I'll stay. I'll stay at 45. Everyone stay and put. The killer bees. The man in the truck in the ocean is...

Truck don't surf. 49 years old. He looks good then, kind of. Way to go, Randy. He was a large man with some wrinkles. He looks good and terrible all the time. Both. Good and terrible.

All right, there you go. Segment one, down in the books. When we come back, we'll tell you about Neil's stand-up special, how you can watch it, love it, support it. So that this guy can do more because he just makes great ones. This is Dumb People Town with Neil Brennan. We'll be right back. Stick around.

Make us down. There's more Dumb People Town. Hey, guys. Welcome back to the show. Before we get into Neil's stuff, Daniel, tell us how people can support you. I know your special is up and out. Great. Eight days from the day that this drops.

April 17th, my special Rose Gold. Boom, right here. You can get these at shows too. That's a great shirt. Drops over on my YouTube channel, youtube.com slash DanielVanKirk. I saw a trailer for it. It's really fun. Trailer's out.

Trailer's out. Other clips are out. I wish it was color corrected. I don't want to say anything. Oh, man. We'll get there eventually. I'm joking. I know that I literally was like, I love that trailer.

And Dan's first thing he said to me is, it's not color corrected yet. And I also said, please don't tell everybody. Don't mention that it's not color corrected. Hey, I mean, I did it myself. I produced everything and I put it out. So I hope you all love it. It should be corrected by the time it drops. Either way, you can enjoy the hour.

Shot it at the Lincoln Lounge. Go to danielvankirk.com if you want to get there super fast so good um it's rose gold i love all the material in this show it's phenomenal yeah you know what the thing is everybody listens to this show and they're gonna do the same for you too neil is like they're great like they've ridden with us for years and years as townies so i appreciate and i love and that you guys are going to watch it go the extra mile and share it tell someone else listen to the show anyone can watch everyone but only a true hero can share we'll share that's right make that merch all right tell them about yours that they should watch no no i don't think they deserve to know oh no i didn't come here to promote it

that's right guys they just came here to shit on poor people no poor people town is that the name of that truck that dude isn't poor emotionally poor uh it's called crazy good it's on netflix and uh april 9th which today right now i guess and um and everything my life is such a blur right now guys i know i'm sure where'd you where'd you film it where'd you i filmed it here at the fondant sunset and uh i'm uh what am i doing what's the premise the premise is that uh that bad mental health is generally pretty good for society yeah in in the in the final analysis it's a good thesis to go to therapy get all the good bullshit just know that anything good is from psychopaths and drug addicts historically those are facts and i think about

this all the time i think it affects more people it's all i don't even i do sports for like probably 12 minutes music for three okay inventions for four like sports it's all mental. I don't even have, I didn't even cover my time. There's certain people, it's just Michael Jordan's the beginning. Michael Jordan is the beginning and the end. There's no... Megalomania. You could do 45 minutes on him throwing quarters against

the wall with the security guards at the United Center. That is the craziest thing I've ever seen or heard in my entire life. Yeah, and then people go, yeah, but he's a bad husband fine i don't i don't think i'm married to him right give a shit i recently saw a tiktok of someone telling a story about playing golf with michael jordan yes they bet money whatever they start playing he doesn't speak to him the entire time great round then at the on like 18 he putts with his eyes closed he makes a documentary about it and makes himself the hero that guy introduced him at the hall of fame that guy's the asshole

he gets it up and down he's within five the guy the guy misses his birdie jordan goes that's right bitch and then he makes his birdie the entire time he's playing rap songs that have that mention his name in them and people are like oh god that's jordan but but to your point you step back and you go jordan that is right that's jordan i'd i the i have a whole hunk about comedians too where they're like is ellen nice uh and the joke i didn't do i do other ones but i want to go is ellen nice don't worry you're never gonna meet her never never you are you even if you meet her even if you meet her you don't know 50 million dollar house in santa barbara nope then she has no interest in meeting you that's right you won't be and it and you just have your image of the

like or just enjoy their art yes is ellen's hilarious, and she gave a bunch of money away. That's more than almost anyone. That's more than Michael Jordan on the golf course. Republicans buy sneakers, too. Michael Jordan. If Michael Jordan did a great thing, he got a crowd full of people to boo a widow because of a documentary. At the end of the day day that's what your life amounted to he did his job yeah so that's the premise and uh there's it's kind of the whole

i did i rogan and just anyone who we shouldn't be when if you're going over if you're trying to discuss serious issues like transgender shit uh you shouldn't go, well, what do the clowns think? That's right. That's what it's all come down to. Well, has anyone asked the guy who played Rick James? Since we're talking about a very serious thing. Well, it's that clip with Jon Stewart where the person's like, is there a line? He's like, how about we stop asking me this?

Right. Stop asking comics if there's a line. I'm the guy from the fake news show ask politicians that are trying to like run your cities and control what you do with your life or not do with your life or whatever ask them where the line is yeah they're not asking the idiots uh ask rana davis oh no don't clarence thomas is it makes a million dollars a year on a side hustle that's right people are like yes but rogan took oxychloroquine or whatever the fuck he did yeah yeah so why we have to be held to a standard and

focus it on it's so funny and uh judges don't okay so it's out right now on netflix netflix yes april 9th watch it support it i want to do 10 more why not let's do it ready man let's jump in the next story okay you've heard of the parent trap i love this is going to be a how do we feel about these people and how do we feel about everybody in this scenario and what i like about it in the same way i like curb your enthusiasm is that when curb your enthusiasm is at its best is it lives in the gray area everybody's a little bit right and everyone's a little bit wrong okay you've heard of the parent trap how about the parent tax sent in by dave bringle at dave bringle i don't know if he sent one in this is dave bringle once you pop a bringle you cannot stop yeah that's right dave bringle dave dave bringle go go for dave go for bringle

it's bringle time i have such a curb your enthusiasm question for you guys i met a comedy festival and they you and sometimes they give you free stuff and they had a thing it was for a Mexican restaurant free entree so I go there I'll get my burrito I get my burrito it's the kind bar of restaurants I go to the

I go hey man you just charge him for like a bag of chips or something and I'll tip you and he's like yeah yeah, no problem. Just a small. And I was like, yeah. So you tipped him on just the chips? So then he brings me up for the chips and then charges me and then starts helping the other customer.

And I'm like, well, you said you were going to give me chips. So I'm going to ask you, am I gonna give me chips so i'm gonna ask you am i entitled to the chip to the bag of chips that i bought absolutely do i go like hey man you asked me if i wanted a small or a large i said small it was in your language where you're at fault i have to say just say let me buy a bag of chips give me a bag you gotta say give me a bag of chips i'll pay but would you be within your right to go can i have the bag of chips yes 100 i think so i don't i'm having a hard time following the story so he got dan got a free dan got a free burrito he goes in and cashes in for the free burrito that he got at a comedy festival he's like hey i don't want to just walk in and get a free burrito i want to tip this

guy because i don't want to charge me for something so charge me for a bag of chips and then i didn't get the thing i'll give you a tip he charged the chips and didn't give him the chips oh that is because dan just said charge me i have a similar one yeah let's hear where i ordered uh again it's a Mexican restaurant these people are terrorizing the country close the border where the I basically ordered

I needed extra chipotle crema sure who doesn't right and I wrote on the order I think it was on uber eats or something like please give me extra vegan crema your tip depends on it wow okay of course it does of course that's what you're asking for here's how outraged i'm gonna take care of everyone the restaurant called me no and was, hey, bro, don't say that.

And I was like, what? So for saying out loud the whole thing, a tip is based on your behavior. So acting like it doesn't and naming it, how am I the asshole officer? You're not. I didn't think I was. Yeah, you're just saying the thing that is always true. Yes. What do you think it's based on guys you think it's based on yeah bring me whatever in whatever order in uh however long a time so like

if you and i'm gonna tip you no that's it right now is that you just but if you had written please make sure to give me extra vegan crema uh i'll take care of you for it wink sure wink just wink emoji yeah but again why you get my back i got yours yes but even that's i went i was too literal i was too autistic about you were too on a noise yeah yeah you named called out the thing yes the subtext i said the subtext which is the quiet part you cannot you cannot do. So here we go. And we're living. We're the living versions of both. All right.

Here's the headline. Couple says restaurant find them, find them for, quote, poor parenting. The restaurant owner then reveals the truth. Now, Dave Ringel sent me an article that I couldn't cut and paste, so I had to find a different article. Sorry, Dave. Hey, it's fine. He brought it to your attention. Just being honest. A restaurant in North Georgia.

North Georgia? You know that North Georgia line? I mean, this could be Russia or, right? Like, Georgia. North Georgia. I don't ever hear North Georgia referred to, ever. That's how you know it's regional journalism. Not positively.

Not like wine country. What's ever been like? You know what's great? This wine is from North Georgia. It's from the town where all those nobel prize winners are from north georgia well that's my theory that there's no good documentary based in mississippi like like any 30 for 30 that's like in mississippi it's like okay i will say this till i die my favorite moment in any 30 for 30 is randy moss's casual glossing over of stomping on a guy's neck that's my favorite moment in any 30 for 30 is Randy Moss's casual glossing over of stomping on a guy's neck. That is my favorite moment.

He's like, look, talking to the interviewer. I just stomped on his neck twice and then walked out of the room. Go back. I just stomped on his neck twice and then I walked out. You stomped on a person's neck? Indoors. This is like at a fight in high school. Stomped on his neck twice.

That's it. Okay, you're at those Northern Georgia peaches. Restaurant in North Georgia did something no one ever expected. Charging patrons a fine for poor parenting. So they're essentially doing what Neil did, but the reverse. The Toccoa Riverside Restaurant outside of Blue Ridge, the Blue Ridge Mountains, has sparked a debate online. Is it fair to charge parents for badly behaved children?

No. You don't think it is? No. What if they're ruining the experience of everybody? You open the door to the public. The guy is doing time for his son shooting up a school. Why not just give him a light fine? This is the beginning of it.

They're just charging. If you have a table of six or more, some restaurants are like like here's the group this we're gonna how much are they bothering the other people are they just but i also don't care because i say you ventured out into public to go have a public parent everybody did you're open to the fucking whatever leaves fall off the tree they may or may not hit you if you wanted like no one is on the ground screaming and yelling and ruining it is on then i you know me i'm not afraid of confrontation you go over and you go hey guys we can pack all this up for you but you either need to go outside you're there you're another person at the

restaurant or you're the manager oh that i go hey either comp this sort out that but so but they're sorting it out by saying look no so all right let me get if as a parent who's had kids and as soon as my kid made a noise that was louder than a conversation noise i would pick him up and walk outside i think we're gonna walk around for a while have ipads period to give parents to go hey did you forget the ipad there you go what's i mean the parents get to have a nice different from home dinner where they want to sit around and talk why can't the kid have a nice different from home dinner where they're on the ipad the whole time a customer on reddit revealed their experience at the restaurant they wrote the owner came out and told me how much he was adding and we'll get to how much he was going to add to my bill because my children's behavior disappointed

by the experience that they said a reporter contacted the restaurant and got their side of the story the owner tim richter tim richter andy's brother andy's twin brother tim richter tim richter definitely his twin brother tim richter definitely is like i'm dating a high school girl but she's 18 yeah she's turning 19 next month right guys she was held back guys every sentence ends with guys what whatever she said happened in the break room unequivocally did not happen she's an expediter i have done that why would i lie about that and that's on me and that's tim richter on the clock you think tim richter was on the clock how many times that's tim richter's netflix special tim richter on the clock why why would i lie about that tim richter what do you mean you haven't seen waiting guys guys tim richter decided to tell the truth

he said while the restaurant added a surcharge during COVID-19 to cover costs, I get that, they did not charge anyone any more than their bill recently. He said he never threatened anyone with the surcharge until a few weeks ago when a family had visited a restaurant with their nine children. Ugh. Nine times. And shared that the children were running. What's in your family?

Eleven? Ten? The Brennans. The Brennans are showing up to a celebration. So irresponsible. One time we went to a family all you can eat and it was shut it down. We put the restaurant under that. It was mayhem.

My dad was like, I'll give you more. The guy was like, no, a deal's a deal. We said one family, one price. I love that your dad felt guilty about what he was putting. The only time. There you go. The one and only time he felt guilty about anything And it was for a stranger For a different restaurant in Anaheim, California

That's ridiculous But that is, I mean you've taken over I love that this is We joke I'm imagining it It was an Olive Garden with 28 other of my family members. Damn, that is. So I've been there where you're like, hey, I just constantly apologize.

You're like, give the pasta a bottom. We don't need it to be bottom. We are the family. Right. He said he never threatened anyone with a search. A few weeks ago, they had a restaurant with nine children. He shared that the children were running around all over the place. He said while he did give the parents a warning, he never actually charged them the money.

This is his quote. Oh, he just warned them. Yeah. As a restaurateur, I love that he now has to be worried about this. We want parents to be parents. Should that be part of your restaurant's philosophy? No. I think they want boys to be boys as well.

Go ahead. The restaurant tucked away in the mountains along the Toccoa River is used to calm clientele. That is such a weird phrase. Just women knitting. The joint is quite popular during mealtimes. Cars stretch across the roadside. A customer named Laura Spillman, who was visiting the town from Florida, said she could not believe the policy when she heard it.

So definitely someone who's like, get my quote in there. Yeah. Is Laura Spillman. Y'all quoting? Y'all rolling? Go. We don't record these. She definitely started by saying Laura Spillman, S-P-I-L-L.

Easy. Easy there. Well, wait a second. This is crazy, she said, Jay. Yeah. Incredulously, for real? I don't think you should do it because kids are cute. Shut up. That is her reasoning reasoning i love a good here's what i'm that no that is the it's my birthday person at a comedy

show who's talking the whole time yeah kids are cute it's my birthday who gives a shit it's if it's your birthday you and your 11 friends at that long table fucked up our louisville improv show the setup for our one of our weaker jokes. One of our longer, more involved bits that you have to be there. At the 39-minute mark in our show. You know that's the low point of the show. When we get into a long and involved...

We were going to bring you back. God damn it. And I'm also a little mad at me that I went so hard that I've sort of lost the crowd now, but I can't put that back onto myself. That may be the dumbest quote in the... I'm going to read it again. Kids are cute. again that's crazy she said incredulously for real i don't think you should do it because kids are cute ann cox who was having lunch with her family said the fee could potentially encourage

parents to control their children so they behave better she also suggested shock therapy is that weird she said parents need to teach kids etiquette, adding they need to teach kids to behave. There are other people in the world. They should have fun in the right place. And Cox stepped in and said, how old are you in? Seventy nine. That's right. Federico Gamboneri in Georgia. Crime family.

Go ahead. The guy who is literally trying to be Blue Ridge Mountain Gamboneri. Who was at the restaurant with his dog. You don't know that documentary? The Wild and Mountain Gamboneri's. Who was at the restaurant with his... You don't know that documentary, The Wild and Wonderful Gamboneri's? Who was at the restaurant with his toddler. Okay, so he's got something to say about it. He said his toddler, he's fucking 80.

He said, go to meet the boy. I don't like it. Hey, what did the kids of the cute say? Hey, you gotta be quiet with your kids. He said, this is the first time he heard of such a policy. He said, the first time I've heard of that,

having a 20 month old, that maybe isn't the best behavior at a restaurant. I'm hoping that I don't get charged. And then he said, cause it'd be a shame

if something happened to me. It'd be a fraud. If something happened to this thing. I don't want. That's terrible. Then he went on to call the coward,

the cops, pussies and cowards.ians are the only ones who will like heckle cops yeah when someone they know is getting arrested so this is what he says and again he could just be saying a norm but the fact that his name is frederico or gamboneri he said quote i feel if I were charged, I'd be very unhappy. Like, play the music in the background, the strings, right? About it and probably never recommend this place to somebody. That's like, there's so much hidden in that. It'd be a shame if I gave this place a bad review. It'd be a shame. Jack Schneider, who's a regular at the restaurant.

So they're getting so. I'm a power user on Yelp. Neil, is there any restaurant where you would consider yourself a regular? Yes. You walk in and everyone's like, Neil. You just said Chipotle. Extra cream. Fine.

No, we did not. They don't have vegan Chipotle. It was Gracia's Madre. Great to see you again, Mr. Brennan. Yes. There is a place that you can do that. Yes. So this is the Neil Brennan of that place is the Jack Schneider of this place

who regular restaurants said he had never heard about this surcharge. I have mixed emotions on that. I love a guy that's willing to make a quote that is like, I don't feel one way or the other. I'm having a tough time dealing with it. Well, he's a regular there and he doesn't want to offend the restaurant,

but he also feels like I think they've crossed the line. At the same time, we've all sat next to tables where you say, hey, do something with that kid. There was no fine? They just threatened the fine. They threatened a fine. And now they're getting a thousand quotes from more people than they've asked about like

9-11. Can I ask? It's okay. People can do it on their own. Did you look up their yell? I did not look up their yell. I didn't look it up. What's the name of the place? Look it up. Toccoa River. Toccoa River. I'll tell you the restaurant.

It is the... I'm on it. Hold on. Toccoa. Look at this guy get thrown out of a truck. T-O-C-C-O-A Riverside Restaurant. Toccoa Riverside Restaurant. Look it up as I read this quote. Because now I'm like want to start connecting the people who are doing the quote.

So he said, I have mixed emotions on that. At the same time, we've all sat next to tables where you say, hey, do something about that kid. This is where you call Francisco Gambarini. He comes in and he does something. Why don't you make sure that kid doesn't make another sound? I want to make that kid an offer he can't refuse. I want to cut his vocal cord.

What? So you don't need to. You know how they make a dog, how they debark. I'm going to debark that guy. So I really think it's more on the parents. And that is the final quote. So I leave you with that. Should you...

And we go back to the question. As Dan's looking up the Yelp. Neil, I ask you, should there be a charge? I like the idea that a kid is acting up and a parent gives them some kind of smack or something. The kid cries

and the parent says, I can't afford not to smack you. That's right. You want me to pay more? I can't make the payments on your person. This is like his special where it's like,

look, nothing, only good things come out of mental health problems. Only good things, what a restaurant is doing, just by saying we could charge you more, you're arming the parents with something else

to tell their kids. Another threat. So I saw at a restaurant the other night I was in, Palm Springs with my family. Humblebrag. Jesus Christ. And table next to us. This guy's driving 90 miles outside the city.

When you see old school parenting in current modern day, it's like unbelievable to see. Yeah. I'm sure you want to tip the parents. Oh, it's unbelievable. My wife was having problems with it. I'm like, wait, wait. No, no. We need to watch.

Let it play out. Let it play out. Let it happen. There's like a two-year-old kid. I swear. Two, three maybe tops. All right? Parents, he's acting up in some way parents

are like go stand over there by the heat lamp but over by our fucking table so they and face the heat lamp no no he's stand over there no lay on it he's standing around grill yourself next to our table we have a sulking three-year-old who's not part of our family soaking like is that a new cooking style soaking soaking head down head down upset for minutes and my wife is like i can't deal with this do you pass the kid a roll no i'm like we don't talk to him he's in another thing and then don't look at him don't even think about it finally when the parent this is a great moment for the kid. When the parents were like, he's been there long enough. The mom comes over to get him.

Was he? Let me ask you this. Was long enough. He was there for like 10 minutes, like a while. He was there a while. Okay. They go, I guess the food started to come. So they're like, also those 10 minutes were the best part of their meal.

They got through. Now we have this fucking kid next door. Whatever. Them as a couple got through. So it's like there was a whole family and a bunch of other kids all right so then they go to get the kid and bring him back and he's like i don't want to come back yes so now he took the power that's right he took the power i don't want to come and finally they're like yeah all right go ahead and so they let him stay until eventually or no yeah i'm like can we get some you're like hey while you're standing by that heat lamp, can you turn it up

a little bit? And also, can we get an extra fork? Alright, so. And the check. And also, alright, so. You made this to him. You do gift cards? Little boy. Can we wrap this? I just want to order some. Gift cards here? I don't want to get chips. I have a certificate.

From a comedy festival. Give me the chips. Ring me up for the chips and give me the chips ring me up for the chips and give it to the greater palms so this this kid this kid eventually goes back to the table and then he's sitting and like and then he's engaged and it worked and it kind of weirdly worked oh my god i love and i was like we just saw a parent i don't i think that human beings are not as it california will is living proof that like people can't be trusted that's it turns out we can't have you have to put misdemeanor people in jail or else they'll keep breaking into houses around your neighborhood san francisco this is not necessarily coming from a real place no um or is it coming from me daniel right yeah or like we

can't have portland can't people can't just do drugs every once in a while right you gotta we need punishment yeah we need incentives and disincentives mostly disincentives it turns out we were all as we all tried it we all we all were on the way it's okay but the the problem then not to get too deep into the weeds of this thing is like then don't just say like you also have to be smart about how you say these drugs are we gotta these are okay it's not everything is you gotta be like these you gotta have a nuanced response you can't just assume that all of these people are bad like let's take a better You guys are getting too liberal about it again. I'm not, though.

What I'm saying is, people go, well, Portugal did it. We don't got Portuguese people. If I could beat Sebastian for a second. Go to downtown San Francisco. Go to downtown San Francisco. Go to anywhere. It's like, we can't. We can't do it.

People need to be put in the hot box. Like the kid. Kid got to get put. People need to be facing the heater. Kid got to put in the hot box. Like the kid. Kid got to get put. People need to be facing the heater. Kid got to put in the heater. Kid facing the heater. Go face the heater. Go face the heater.

It's up in Lompoc. People need boundaries. People need boundaries. People need limits. We can't take it. We've had limits for all of our lives. We can't have two years of fucking rump springer for felons and think things are going to work out because I'd like them.

It would be nice if people were ethical. Oh, wait, the purge every day doesn't work? The purge every day isn't a society that we can live in? No. It's so weird. Purge for a week might be an idea. All right, there you go. Wait, hold on.

What was the discount or the charge? No, they said they threatened to charge them right, there you go. Wait, hold on. What was the discount? Or the charge? No, they said they threatened to charge them, and then they didn't. Oh, they never said the amount? The owners of the thing said we didn't charge them. Oh, they never said the amount? He said, she said. This is a... Look, we got good content out of it, but this should have never been in the paper.

No, this is not a story. It's a Reddit. It's a Reddit story. It's a Reddit story. Do you want to guess the rating out of five stars? Let's do this. To the decimal point. We'll take a break after this.

I think 4.79. It's a very calm place. Very calm. Are we guessing? 4.2. 4.1. 4.79. 4.2.

Sorry, I didn't mean to cut you. 2.8. What? I'm going to read a quick review. Lots of kids screaming i called ahead too much kids screaming somebody's got five months ago a lot of positive as well i don't know how they dipped that low but five months ago i called ahead to ask for an estimated wait time and a gentleman picked up the phone and spoke very degrading and rudely to me ma'am we're a city

of 2 000 plus people and we are busy like every other restaurant also i'm eight not work here decide for i'm just by the lamp decide for yourself if you want to come and wait he then hung up i couldn't get any words and i simply said hi there i just want to call and see how long of a wait for two and a dog needless to say we did not go nor will we go any other time leave your dog your dog doesn't want to watch you eat to balance it out i had to scroll through like 10 or 15 fours and fives. That was just funny. So try them out if you're in the area, if you're hitting that North Georgia scenic route.

Sure. See what that 2.8 is all about. I don't know why it's a 2.8. I don't know, man. I'd say give me another shot. All right. We're going to take... That cobbler.

That blueberry cobbler. It looks good. All right. We'll take a break. Jay, give us a little taste of what we have in the finals. Florida man's going to Florida man. Florida man's going to Florida man. As always.

And we'll tell you what we have going on on the other side of this. Stick around. Make us down. There's more Don't People Town. Guys, we want to talk about our friends over at Faraday. It is my go-to clothing shopping store. It's the best. When I get a little bit of money, I'm like, I'm going to Faraday.

I want to see what they have next. Ran, you're wearing a Faraday shirt. I'm wearing the Faraday shirt. Jay's got the Movement chinos, which I have three pairs of, which I played golf in yesterday. I wear these on stage. I play golf in them. I wear them. They are my most comfortable pants.

I love them because you can look great in them. They can be casual. You can wear them to the beach. They're great for a gift, too. Yeah, great gifts to do. Your returns are so easy to do. Not that you'd want to, but you want to try and buy something for somebody else buy something for yourself the clothes always feel so you don't want something's like not only looks nice but

you put it on or you're putting it on and this is a well-made piece that's that's their goal i bought a sport a sport jacket for them the stretch of them it's so good and the movement sweaters they're new they're so i love all the movement stuff the movement sweater is perfect for layering it's cool it's like the fibers are great interject how many other podcasts can tell their listeners we've actually met these owners oh i love i hung out with alex at the new the newport folk festival oh my god i was like oh you're the coolest person in the world and you make great clothes and you're awesome and you're a twin and you're nice i'm gonna say this about you make great products our buddy Scott Beesman who we went to high school with

is shout out Beesman who's a house painter in Madison, Wisconsin said just took a picture and said Faraday just came to Madison

and he's like I got all this stuff I'm getting this he got all this stuff and we'll tell you how our listeners can get on their first purchase Jay's gonna tell you right now

but he got all this stuff and I'm telling you he looks Beast you look great. You're beast mode. You're beast moding it for our listeners. Listeners to our show. Faraday brand is offering 20% off your first order when you enter the promo

code 20DPT at checkout. Daniel, what should they do? They should go to Faraday brand.com slash DPT. That's F-A-H-E-R-T-Y brand dot com slash DPT. It's not too early for father's day check them out stick around look us down there's more don't people town he's got to respond in nine i don't know if you guys saw the um story on the way here i don't know if this is what this is what actor

angie harman says instacart delivery driver fatally shot her dog oh no not a random story generator the way i would hunt this person down he's home he's at your house good she'd they were all there i read it and what she wrote on the order was how you behave is gonna affect whether you shoot my dog or not. Can't write that, Angie Harmon. Wow. Boys, what do you got going on? This past weekend you were in Minnesota.

In Minneapolis, thanks to everyone who came out. We're recording this before the weekend happens and then we're talking about this and it drops after it happened. This is a time travel. Two weeks we'll be at Moon Tower. Yeah, thank you. We're doing a Tag It,

which I think Neil's done before. Neil's done done tag it it's super fun we're doing it at 800 congress i'm nervous about that show because that venue is so big you need to fill it so if you're in in austin come to that show i think that's thursday or friday night the tag it shows are a blast they've been going great there so please do that moon tower in austin then we do it at largo too you should come do that at some point, too. Please. I love it. And we did. And then we'll be in Salt Lake City at the Wise Guys Jordan Landing.

I'm very excited. In May. And then other fun stuff happening that we can't talk about now, but we'll talk about when it's time to talk about it. All right. We're hyping it. All right. Here we go. This was sent in by David Fournier at DP Fournier, too.

Thanks, buddy. Thanks, buddy. Florida man caught fielding caught. Let me do that again you got it florida man caught feeding wild alligator resist arrest quote he's a good boy and he loves bagels first of all it's a one that was the alligator talking about the man or third person but yeah i like yours better we just got a quote from the alligator enough about gaza a florida man who allegedly resisted arrest after being caught illegally feeding an alligator named hank in his neighborhood pond so not that wild but i love that like what he's doing is bad but it's not it's bad for a lot of reasons but it's not him armed

robbery or shooting somebody i don't know harman's dog yeah he's harman's dog i'm just saying like what he's doing so for him to then go resist arrest to me is like so outsized no no but but so i don't know why this this thing is popping across my tiktok what does it say about me videos of this guy who has befriended a coyote and he goes out and starts petting it let me get on that peter coyote no he's like let me get on that tummy a little bit i'm like what does that mean? All right, scratching your tummy. Coyote is like showing its teeth to him and like nipping at his hands. And I'm like, what are you doing?

Don't do not. Is the coyote trying to leave? No, the coyote comes by his house because he feeds it shit. Right. Like if you give anything. But he's trying to say, hey, I'm here for the food, but don't fucking touch it. Don't fuck with me. Don't get attached.

Right. This is an FWB. Wild. We're friends with bad guys. That's right. For those who know, know. That's right. Those who don't, don't.

If you know, you know, to quote J-Lo. All right. How big is this thing? How many feet long is this alligator? The alligator? The man? I'm going to go 5'8". Now the alligator.

Now the alligator. Hank, how long is this thing that he keeps feeding? He's calling it Hank. Hank, the bagel eating. It's a bagel eating. It's an alligator? Mm-hmm. It's going to bulk you up.

Just the amount of stomach issues he's now giving the alligator with this bagel. Jewish. I'm going to guess right after you, Neil. Jewish alligator. IBS. IBS. IBS for days. What kind of water do they use to make these?

This lake. Is this like a Brooklyn water? Waiter, is this lake de-alkanized? I was told this lake, they always try to put you in the bad pond first. The one close to the draft. You know, I spent three years in a puddle by the road. I think it's six feet long. Eight.

Safe guess. That's what I was going to say. Do you want it? I'll sell it to you. You want it? I'll sell you eight dollars. I'll sell you an eight for eight feet. I'll take seven.

Seven feet. Get your answers in. It is a 10 foot. That is an enormous. That is farther than me and you. This is how he describes Hank. He is a good boy and a good friend well what's great is i'm sure as they were arresting him he was like hank's gonna be here any minute

he's gonna be mad i'm why don't you talk to him jump out of a tree onto the back of one of the cops and yeah yeah or just like on the cop car like tjber style as they're driving on the hood he's a good friend look close-up of alligator paws sliding across across fucking uh insert he's begging the cops somebody needs to go there at five and tell him i got arrested hank's gonna he'll be worried he won't know why paul Fortin, I'm not going to tell you how old he is, we can guess at the end, was issued a citation by the Florida Fish and Wildlife Commission, the FWC, if you're nasty,

over the incident in May at a pond in Catriona Drive, Daytona Beach. But he was arrested by police and taken to Volusa County Jail. We're back in Volusa County Jail. Oh, man. Start the cameras. I don't guess what I thought I fucking got out of there. I was in the ocean.

After refusing to accept the citation and resisting an officer without violence. Without violence. He said no. That's fine. Ford News says he is a disabled veteran. Thank you for your service. Thank you for your service. Told News 6 that he regularly fed Hank the alligator.

He's a good boy. He lets me pet him. Don't do that, people. He's going to kill you. This is how you die. He lets me pet him. Don't do that, people. He's going to kill you. This is how you die. This is how it ends. This is how you die. This is how it ends.

Fortin told the channel. He just sits there and he loves bagels. He was such a good friend. He was. Wait a minute. Why are we in past tense now? He was. Because he betrayed him.

That's right. Because he flaked out. Because he got him fucking arrested. He got me in trouble. And then they didn't back him up. That's right. Got me in trouble. Coyote guy. Coyote guy. Didn't bail him. That's right. Got me in trouble. Coyote guy.

Didn't bail him out. One phone call. He called Hank. Coyote guy and Hank. Or Paul. Yeah. Right. Any person who's trying to touch a violent, wild animal.

You get what you deserve. There's a Reddit thread called Cheetahs Ate My Face or something. I think they kind of want to get bit. They kind of want to see if they're going to get bit. They want to. It's kind of want to see if they're gonna get bit so they want to it's like me with narcissists i want them to i want them to not be a narcissist around me yes and you're like i can make it not happen make you not the way you are yeah i can make you ask a question about me and it just doesn't never happen never happens i can change your very nature yeah that's correct

and the answer is no the answer is no. The answer is no. The alligator's going to get him. The alligator lover added, it's illegal. It's totally illegal to do it. Did I know it? No. Did I know I couldn't feed a turtle? Turtle?

Why are we bringing together alligators? Yeah, I kind of knew that. I don't know. Maybe I'm Dr. Doolittle. He's hitting all the bases. This is another jazz. Maybe I'm Dr. Doolittle. dad i don't know maybe i'm dr doolittle he's hitting all the bases there's another free this is another jazz going maybe i'm dr doolittle maybe i speak to so he has a power with animals that he didn't ask for he just i didn't want to ever talk to people who who like who have steven tobolowski steven steven tobolowski i know a great actor really great movie with him we spent

many weeks with him he don't know his dad with him. We spent many weeks with him. He don't know his name. Ned the Head. We spent many weeks with him in Santa Fe, New Mexico. And he started telling us one night at dinner that he has psychic powers that he does not want. He's like, I don't want this. Like, I can hear vibrations. I know what's going to happen to you in the future.

He explained it all. And his reluctance to want to have the thing made me believe it more. There's another Reddit thread again. Please. It's like I don't want these psychic powers. There's shamanism. I'm on shamanism.

I'm over there on psychic. And a lot of times they don't, most people, I know people that have it that don't want it. Don't want it. The more they say it. The game chose them. Yeah, that's right. I don't. Most people. I know people that have it that don't want it. Don't want it. And the more they say. The game chose them. Yeah, that's right. That's it. I didn't choose the game.

I didn't choose the game, man. I did not choose the Synanon game. We're back at that. It's like the end of Rambo. Game won't win. They started with him. They started with me. They drew first blood, as it were.

There you go. Stallone had the funniest story about Rambo. What was it? He said the first cut, he wrote it uh and it was like he Rambo would give like these long speeches elegant speeches and uh the people hated it yeah and then he just cut all of the speeches out and people loved it and and and they were like he's such a poetic yeah right rooting stoic it's like, no, you just hated my writing. I just cut it all out.

Well, it's a lesson in writing. We overwrite everything. We overwrite every single speech, every single dialogue. All dialogue is like, do half of that. If that. If that. But what's so funny about Rambo is if Rambo came out today, we'd be like, oh, he stormed the Capitol on January 6th.

That guy. He did. Of course he did. He's just trying to get to Vancouver. We liked it back then because it was just kind of like, ah, silly. Taking down local government. Yeah. Now you're like.

They started with him. He was going to go through town. He wanted to just. Then he was like. They drew first blood. It was a nice town for nice people. Yeah, that's it. A boring town.

But again, I do like that there was everybody was a little bit right in there. Everyone was a little bit right and a little bit wrong. Are we talking about Rambo or are we talking about Hank? He's just murdering. We're talking about Hank. Thank you. Thank you. Let's get back to it.

What if Rambo had a pet alligator that he thought he could talk to? In the first draft, he did. He cut it all out. And the alligator talks way too loud. I'm like, huge. And he had like, see? And he talked like way too loud. I'm like, huge. And he had my sword. See? And he talked like an old gangster.

He was reportedly caught after a report by a neighbor. So someone's like, hey, man, feeding this thing. He's coaxing it out of the pond. Oh, if I'm the neighbor, I'm going to be like, this alligator can't tell the difference between this guy and other people. I don't know how people live in Florida. Any puddle, any body of water anywhere has an alligator in it. You have to assume that that's...

It's long documented on this show. Like a lot of... Yeah. How do you live? Wet and wild. 100%. Yeah, like there's four alligators. Yes.

Just somewhere in the slides. It's like Russian roulette with your life. Slipping and sliding. Part of the slides. Russian roulette with your life. Slipping and sliding. Part of the game. He was caught after a report by a neighbor led to the FWC discovering a Facebook video of Fortin feeding the alligator filmed by himself. Of course. So he could just do it. He got to post it on Facebook, which is where the cops all are on Facebook.

Dummy. Let's guess. He posts that on TikTok. It's never found. They don't even know how to get on that. They don't know how to log in. Alright. How old is this guy? We'll get out of here on this. Peter Fortin? Yes. Peter Fortin. How old is the guy

who's willing? He has a friend named Hank. He's an alligator. I'm going to go late 50s. 58. 58? I like that guess. I'll go. I thought you'd get a kick out of it. Thank you. And I hope you like my no pressure's on 66 i was going deep in there i think 71 let's push it up 71 okay one of you is one year off whoa 72 72 up or down neil uh stay well you're one year off a little bit one of us is one year no oh uh which i was 58 58 65

65 all right get your answers in watch neil's special on netflix it's out today what is it called one more time crazy good crazy good uh come see us at moon tower come see tag it i love that uh watch daniel's rose gold special and pain, this man, was 67 years old. You went the wrong way. You went the wrong way. Thank you, guys. It's so great to do this show. It's so great to see you.

I love having you on, Neil. Thanks, buddy. And oh, shit, we've got to get back to work. Boom. Stick around. Make it sound. There's more at All People Town.