Dumb People Town - Oscar Nunez - Unexpected Strength

Episode Date: December 29, 2020

This week Jeremiah Watkins comes to town to hang with Daniel, Jason and Randy. The first story is about a bad "trip" to Disneyland. The second story is about a brawl at an In-N-Out. The final story looks at an upcoming "tickle bar".

Star Pains Avenue Hey townies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population you. Population Nunez.car nunez welcome to the show well that's my name that is your name and we will wear it out how do you like that how are you buddy how's life in uh quarantine times i'm i'm fine i'm good all things considered yeah we were talking earlier this is a little bit i guess how the sausage gets made sure so before this we were a pre-interview before we sure and we were saying that i well what i look tired i've been getting up like at three or four in the morning

and i go on youtube nope and i'm watching judo matches oh that sounds good you go down the judo hole i go down the judo hole and it's very big in europe yeah really it's very big there yeah the problem is you want to get you try and confront the judo head on the judo videos and you're like i need to stop doing judo right away that's the wrong method you need to use the power of the judo video onto itself. Let the judo come to you. Then use its own momentum. To put myself to sleep. Do you think the judo videos are making you dumber or smarter

at 3 a.m.? They do the job. It's healthy because it's not porn, but it's porny. Porn-ish. Porn-y, bodies moving, porn, but it's porny. Porn-ish. Porn-ish. Porn-ish. Porn-ish.

Body's moving. A lot of physical activity. Fighting, but they're clothed. There is a resolution to it. Now, let me ask her, do you ever accidentally stumble into a Steven Seagal wormhole accidentally? I guess it'd be more of a gutter. Do you fall into a Steven Seagal gutter? Sometimes.

Sometimes. I also watch boxing yeah mma a little bit but i don't really but i'll go into like there's like uh you know there's a um maybe taekwondo or some other martial but judo is the main one the main one the meat and potatoes is judo if you ever find yourself like at five in the morning just watching Kimbo Slice videos of him challenging people to fight in boat yards where he knocks people's eyeballs out, that's where you've gone to. That's when you're like, honey, yeah, that's street fighting. I need my wife to put me down.

If you get into like those, I think these are in like Japan a lot. They're like ceremonial martial arts dances where they're literally like somebody will run up to four people and then they throw them like 30 feet in the air and then they can yes it's like amazing martial arts choreographed cheerleading well that sounds lovely i you know what it's last night there's a there's a there i also do this there's a team of guys and they're brits it's like five five or four white guys and a black guy and there's a red-headed guy and they do

parkour all around the world. That's great. And they go to places and they'll stay like in a hotel, all of them. They're like, they're older than college kids, but they live that way. Sure. Right. And they'll live in a hotel room and they'll show you the hotel room and like, we're just crashing here. They have sleeping bags. But then they go out about town

and they do parkour stuff. They'll set it up and talk about it yep and they're really quite amazing yeah and i'm kind of hooked with those guys a little bit too now if those guys did judo you'd never be off the computer i'd never be you'd never be on the computer so let me ask you do you think the world has gotten dumber since the last time we had you on this show like from then till now or is dumb dumb just, you know, being more exposed? It's being celebrated. Okay. That's it.

Yeah. So I don't know if it's become more, but it's definitely the spotlight is on, is on dumber. I think it's being given. Yeah. It's been given more credential or people are proud, more proud to eschew facts and just be like. There's no reason why they shouldn't be i thought i yesterday i was listening to a podcast and they said there's a kid on youtube and he opens up toys new toys yeah and he started when he was five years old now he's about eight or nine and he makes about 20

million dollars a year yeah fuck that kid i'm sorry i'm so sorry but that is so many things so why not be dumb if this is what's happening right but you're right there's no rhyme or reason this is the main question is it better to be dumb and happy and wealthy and all that stuff or smart and aware of all the world's problems and miserable i mean look at you what are you you play the mandolin you tap dance thank you for what for nothing for nothing no one cares about that no one cares opens up a toy and he makes 20 million dollars because people like his reaction unboxing all right well let's unbox the first story shall we ready we're gonna open this up present we have a gift for all of us here and it's a gift of a story of dumb and oscar nunez is with us so let's

jump right in okay you ready for this the great thing is is this a real am i expecting a package or this is metaphorical this is a metaphorical package. Sorry. He really expected us to open something. Here's the crazy thing. We've obviously... We'll peel back

some of it, more of the curtain. Like, we wanted to, like, get out ahead of the holidays and make sure we got a whole bunch of things recorded and everything. So, I put a lot of stories together.

I don't remember them much at all. So, we're all the same. This is great. Dan isn't even... Here we go. This was sent in by jake groney at jake groney groney groney groney groney groney uh thank you jake for sending this in a florida man so you know we're ready for fun already was in an lsd induced rage when he allegedly attacked a disney world security guard in october now obviously everybody's fine otherwise i wouldn't do this story yeah but the idea of people

at disneyland during a pandemic dummy i mean why is that that you shouldn't even be there world he upset world he went to the world he's doing he's got cover. He's up at Epcot. Is that the end of the story? No. But my question is, it never is. My question is, you want to do drugs at the Disney parks? Go for it. But why a rage? Don't go there with rage drugs.

Mushrooms would have been better than acid. Way better. I don't know if you've ever done mushrooms. Did he plan on going to Disneyland and say, I'm going to trip balls and take this LSD? Or was he tripping already and said, I'm going to Disneyland? Wow. That's a very different thing.

First of all, what are we doing today? But Oscar, if he was that happy with the, I'm going to Disneyland, and then somehow turned a corner into Angertown, I don't know. Dan, he got inside. He's tripping balls off and someone said, hey, you have to put a mask on. And then it was lights out. Right. Or maybe he wanted one of those balloons inside a balloon and his parents

wouldn't let him get one. Balloon in a balloon. The balloon in the balloon at Disney. They're like $12 a piece. It's the game inside the game. But it's just a balloon in a goddamn balloon. And that's what makes it great and i think it's like betamax isn't that the character yeah from baymax yeah and he was and he was tripping and baymax was a little there's a moment in in big hero six scott atsit

who's hilarious plays baymax and basically he hasn't been charged up for a while and he starts to get in his... Yeah. It's like he's drunk, right? It's like he's like looted out. But I got news for you. Baymax isn't going and trying to take down security guards. Here we go. James Arvid.

Okay, go ahead. No, you go ahead. Ask yours. I worked at Disney at Disneyland when I first moved here for a while. What did you do? There was a dinner theater called Aladdin's Oasis. It was when the Aladdin movie came out. Sure, sure.

And there was dinner theater there. And that's how I joined, I think it was Agva. And there's Agva Equity. Agva is like puppeteering and magic acts. That's a union. And that's how I got into SAG, by buying into the Disney one. But is the security guard, is he covered? That's a question.

Is he in a union and will he be covered? Yeah, that's a great point. That's a great point. Is he in a union? Is this the guy? You just saw a picture of him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

We're going to see him in a second, yeah. We're going to see him. You're going to see him. Yeah. So James Arvid, which Arvid Arvid sounds like the union that you were in. If you're in the Arvid, you were born James Arvid. You are. You're headed on one, two paths. You're either going to be a private investigator or like a parolee.

James Arvid. James Arvid. Private investigator. Yeah. Or you got arrested at the age of eight and it never stopped. James Arvid, private investigator. Or you got arrested at the age of eight and it never stopped. James Arvid smoking at eight. James Arvid like burns ants.

Right. Who's coming over? James Arvid. Even the dullest of knives. Is he coming over? We're eating outside. Hide the pets. Hide all the pets. Even the fish. Hide them. Hide the pets pets turn off the fountain in the pool and he is we're eating outside yeah james arvid was arrested on october 25th after

the incident unfolded in animal kingdom's dino land usa now for anybody who doesn't know this is a very young children's part of animal kingdom yeah dino land is like a very fun There's like a roller coaster for little kids over there. The other side of Animal Kingdom is all of the new like Avatar, Pandora stuff, which is some of the great... One of the best rides I've ever been on. And then you've got the safari. I'm well-versed. Yeah, Dan. But nothing crazy

should be happening in Dinoland. If you get a job as a security guard in Dinoland, you... Lost kids. Or someone's dehydrated. Those are the two things I deal with. That's it. You don't expect James. James Arvid to just come.

Also, by himself, that's a red flag. Tripping by yourself is not... Tripping by yourself. Because you know by yourself, two or three people tripping and you see them, you're like, give these guys a wide berth. One person tripping and you recognize it, you want to be more like, you okay, buddy? No, no.

The fact that if you're just tripping by yourself, you don't get to ask someone else, are we dead? No. That's the fun. If you're two or three people, you're shepherding each other along. Thank you. If there's two or three of you, you keep an eye. By yourself, anything goes. You don't know what's happening.

That's right. Why would you choose to do that? That three of you, you keep an eye. By yourself, anything goes. You don't know what's happening. That's right. Why would you choose to do that? That's a bad idea. The security guard. Maybe he was trying to rope in the security guard. The security guard was patrolling the area near Dinoland when Arvid tackled him from behind. Oh my gosh, guys.

So what did he think the security guard... He had a question. He had a question. Where's the bathroom? Or he thought he was going to score and he had to tackle him. Guys, you don't know what's going on. That guy's running in Or he thought he was going to score and he had to tackle him. You don't know what's going on. That guy's running in.

He thought unbridled. That's a, right? When you're tripping, that's an unbridled tackle. He did not hold back. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. That is full force. Helmet to helmet. Full force targeting.

Targeting. You're horizontal to the ground. What's the age of the security guard? Please let him be under 60. Do you want to guess it? Yeah, let's guess it. I know the age of the security guard. I hope he be under 60. Do you want to guess it? Yeah, let's guess it. I know the age of the security guard. I hope he's a young kid. I hope he's a young kid. Let's guess. Let's guess it. How old do you

think the security guard is? Or I could read you the rest of the story and then to the end you could make a guess. Do you want to hear the rest of the story? Let's hear more details and then we'll ask him. Authority said Arvid. So first of all, to be not fair to Arvid, but he might have thought that the security guard was a dino.

A dinosaur? Yes, you never know. Which would be crazier to tackle him, I guess, still anyway. Authorities said Arvid then put the victim in a headlock and held him down. Because he's trying to keep him there. During this, the guard managed to radio for help. Park visitors also noticed the incident. How long do you think they thought this was a show?

You think it's real, right? They're very good. Well, so, no, no, no. Because at Universal Studios... Which I worked at Universal. That was my first job when I moved to LA. Dan, there's always... What did you do, Dan?

What did you do at Universal? What did you do, Dan? I was a character escort. Were you a minion? No. Character escort? So, I would walk around with... You would have sex with the characters.

But it was more about dinner and making them not feel lonely. What was it like just doing it with a velociraptor? I would walk around with fucking Shrek, Fiona, Crash Bandicoot, Dora the Explorer. I have a story that I think is going to be in

my next hour about an experience I had with Dora the Explorer that was... I'll save it. Save it. You got into her backpack. Do the curtains match the drapes? Really, what it was is I would walk out with them. Does the curtain match the socks? And then try to keep...

Boots? Is it boots or socks? Backpacks. Some of the... Does the backpack match the boots, you guys? Ask our brothers for this hot Dora take. You guys don't understand that some cultures don't really like adhere to like single file lines. And so my job would be to stand there and kind of like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Other people want to say hi to Shrek.

No. Your palm is in a kid's face. You're like the comedy club manager. You went to Universal in New Delhi? Yes. And you get so good at seeing that age somewhere between 11 and 14. Where kids just barrel forward. They've decided they want to punch Shrek.

And you could see them. My kid's 12, so I know that age. Yes. I can get him. I can get one shot in on him. Yes. What's he going to do? Is he going to feel it?

He's an ogre. Oh, it was just a lot of that. Dan, so you're a security guard and you're just patrolling Dinoland thinking to yourself, thank God I've got Dinoland and not one of these other, not Avatar, where there could be people tripping all the time. If I just could say this in James' defense, well, two things. I think that kid has a nickname.

I can't see him getting- Oh, James Arvin. Oh, for sure. I think James, he has something. James sounds very proper. Jimmy A. Exactly. And I think he meant no harm.

Yeah. I don't think it was malicious. I think he thought this is some type of security or someone's after me or this guy doesn't belong here. I'm the good guy. He's like, I'm the good guy. This guy needs to go down. Right. So there's no malintent.

And that should be taken into consideration in sentencing, but let's continue. You're a good lawyer. It's like when Burbiglia thinks he sees like a giant buzzing flying thing over his face. He probably thought this was a lizard person in Dinoland. Come trip with me. During the assault, the guards

radios for help. Park visitors noticed the incident and were able to pull Jimmy Arvid off of the guard. The Good Samaritans then subdued Arvid. By the way, kudos to the guard for being in a headlock and being able to... We got a deal. We got a deal down here. And being able to pull out the walkie

and radio. That's unbelievable. For sure. It may not have been the first time this has happened to him. Clearly this is like, or it's part of their training. So after he sensed it, he sensed this guy was messed up he knows you are tackled if you are in a headlock reach for the rate that's why you put the radio in your back pocket after the audience this will happen this will happen to you dan at the audience after the audience stopped clapping jimmy was restrained they subdued him until police arrived when they got here that's

when they restrained him on a stretcher and transported him to a local hospital so get the fattest guy there to sit sit on him right is that what is that what restraining him is oscar at the hospital jimmy arvid allegedly told the nurse that he took lsd and tried to kill someone okay don't skip the disney part yeah yes Yes. You went on several rides. You ate a $9 pretzel. The security guard... I'd want to kill someone too after that. Right. Was not seriously injured in the attack, but was left with two bloody cuts

on his elbow. No Disney guests were hurt during the incident. Quote, we do not tolerate violence of any kind at our property and appreciate those, including the Orange County Sheriff's Office deputies who quickly came to the aid of this cast member. By the way's not orange county no it's orange county in florida and i'm sorry good you said a cast member was it a security guard or someone playing a security guard exactly well you know the rules down there at disney if you have a pin on you're a cast member

so security guards even though there's security, they're a cast member. They're considered a cast member. Okay, so Pluto, I mean, Goofy wasn't dressed up as a security guard. No, but that would make more sense as to why he tackled her. But Goofy can talk, and he's a dog.

Pluto cannot talk, and he is also a dog. This is directly lines from the movie Stand By Me. And if, let's say Goofy did get attacked, you have to stay in character. Even while you're being, right? I'm going to go stand. Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. Yeah. Uh-huh. That hurts my head. You got squished first. If you touch me again, I'll fucking kill you. As long as you're in character. As long as you're in character. I need some backup.

I'm going to kick you in the nuts. You kind of sound like the weasels from Roger Rabbit. We have it in our minds, but it doesn't come out. Right? What does Goofy sound like? So I'm just in, and not to go one step further than stand by me. Go for it. So could Goofy sell? So, I'm just in, not to go one step further than stand by me. Go for it.

So, could Goofy walk Pluto around on a leash? Or. On a leash. And what would that do? Or can he claim in a, you know, interspecies, almost racist way that I own you? Yes. That you are my property. But some people say Goofy's not a dog.

It is acceptable. It's just like Planet of the Apes. When the first apes evolved, could they have a chimpanzee pet that was not evolved? Can a talking ape have a chimpanzee that's not? To me, it's like the philosophical question

of Disney that no one is asking. I hope someone's listening to this episode on some sort of mind-altering drugs, and now we're like really fucking with their head by bringing all this. Give me some of that, LSD! They're gonna tackle somebody.

What else could you do? Give me a towel! In the Sheriff's Office report, Jimmy Arvid was described as being bloody, sweating profusely, non-responsive to commands, and compulsively kicking his legs. Non-responsive to commands, just like Goofy. The report said that Arvid, that's Jimmy, appeared to be in a state of excited delirium. And I love, I've never seen these two words together in a Dumb People Town story.

We've done this for a long time. He also had, quote, unexpected strength. Does that just mean like when you size somebody up no he's got drug strength it's like drug strength mom's drug yeah it's drug strength drug strength drug strength is actually stronger than boy superman like drug strength you take the car that's on your uncle, and if you're tripping, and then you throw it on your aunt. Yes. Hey, were we out, ran somewhere? Maybe it was in Buffalo, New York, and some guy was so drunk,

he was kind of messing with us, and we were in a big group, and we're like, we should beat this guy down. And then he lifted up a giant table and started doing pull-ups. Is this a dream of mine? That's a dream. That never happened i feel like we were somewhere never happened we saw a guy who had because i would never strength i would never look at a drunk guy and be like i could take that guy never dumb drunk strength i were you and

i feel no pain i think you and i were in austin once and there was a real drunk guy who turned that weird drunk corner where he was like i know you i know you're like, okay, cool, man. And then he then you can start to hear it turn because he goes, I bet you think you're more famous than everybody. And you're like, okay, man, you think you're like one of the funny and you're like, okay, so much. Yeah, you can feel that anger

that's that they have directed one of their parents so much. I appreciate you to Oscar. They're like, hey, why don't you get over here and do a confessional to me? Thank you very much. Goodbye. Thank you so much. I appreciate you to Oscar. They're like, hey, why don't you get over here and do a confessional to me? Thank you very much. Goodbye. Thank you. The report said that he was in excited delirium with unexpected strength.

He was charged with battery on a security guard. He is pleaded not guilty. First, I'm going to show you a picture of Jimmy Arvid, who looks like he's supposed to be a bully in the show Stranger Things. Let's see it. Let's bring it up. His hair is everything you want it to be.

His facial hair is everything you want it to be. Here we go. Oh, my God. Yeah. Look at that head of hair. He also feels like his face is busting out of his head. Do you know what I'm saying? He looks like he's growing in two or three different directions. he looks like you talked initially about the balloon inside the balloon he looks

like a face inside of a face also he if you want to see his face go to the dumb people town facebook page join if you haven't already please do he looks like i'd be surprised if he didn't tackle the security guard yeah you look at that face and you're like wait have you yet but this guy is this guy tackle anybody yet you can say doesn't he look like the bad guy in a pixar movie yeah absolutely he's he's young he is a young kid yes and he probably took an entire tab of lsd he's oh yeah oh for sure he's the older he's an idiot he took too much he should have taken a quarter with other people not by himself that's right that's right yeah i love your your herd shepherding mentality you need that when you're saying he's steve from from strangers yeah no he's like an evil steve

got pretty far he got he got put on a veil if steve got raped by a demogorgon that's it we've got it he's this jimmy needs to join the uh coast guard that's right or something yeah it's a hundred percent get a buzz cut and figure it out. To keep busy, yeah. That is a beautiful head of hair. If he managed it right now, it's wild. I'm going to say that it's a mane. It's a mane. Well, you're like, is that a mullet? And you're like, no, it's a party in the front

and in the back. He looks like he grew his own wig. That gaze is unapologetic. He's proud. He is proud. That is the pride of... And you know, it's like Oscar, you were saying he had, he had the drugs, but nobody to do it.

Doesn't he look like he got kicked off the wrestling team? He looks like he could take three punches. This is exactly what happened. He would, he got kicked out of football, wrestling, all that stuff. So there's no sports left for him.

I'm going to do, he's not going to college. I'm going to do a joke. I'm going to do a joke from when my wife, Amy did comedy years ago. She used to do a joke. I'm going to do a joke from when my wife, Amy, did comedy years ago. She used to do a joke about Magic the Gathering. The slogan for Magic the Gathering is, all you need is a deck of cards and some friends. Deck of cards, not a problem.

So all you need is some LSD and some friends. And you're good to go. Got the LSD. Got the LSDd i bet he loves the band perfect circle he loves the perfect or rise or he's like have you heard a creed let me let me play some creed we've all heard the first album's good we've all okay here we go ready guys you know who you know he looks like like if russell crowe had a uh a nephew yes russell crowe's nephew he has he has russell

crowe's nephew syndrome he does kind of just look australian yeah rcn to go rcns russell crowe's nephew syndrome there you go all right let's get out of here on this how old do you think the security guard is what the security not security. Not him. Not him. Not him. That kid's 17. Yeah, that kid's a teenager, high teens. I'm going to say the security guard's 19. 19.

Only 19. They may know each other. Do they know each other? No, stop. Jay, what do you think? 47. 47. I think he's 32.

32. All right. We'll close out story number one here. Because the security guard who got blindside tackled. By Sandra Bullock. Blindside. Blindside tackled. Bloodied both of his elbows.

Was able to radio for help and needed. Was in a headlock for a brief period. 47. And needed all the people who bought a ticket to the show to help him with this. To me, Harvard. Not a show. Is. Is. 41 years old.

Wow. Jay, you were right. What did you say, Ren? I said 32. He was nine off. You were seven.

There you go. That's a good age for a security guard. It is. It is. Doing well. All right. First story down in the books. Oscar Nunez is with us.

I'm so excited. Don't go anywhere. Cause there's more dumb people town right after this. Stick around. Make a sound. there's more dumb people town right after this stick around make a sound there's more dumb people town hey guys welcome back to dumb people town uh we want to thank everyone who came to the live dumb people town for sure which was was that last weekend am i on my time i don't know how the time might be definitely it's already happened and we've already announced the next live one, which will be on January 16th,

and the tickets are on sale now. Zach Alphanakis is the guest, and music by the lead singer, former lead singer of the Civil Wars, John Paul White, who is amazing and brilliant and beautiful, and it'll be Zach's up in Canada, John Paul White's down in Alabama.

It's going to be, it is going to be so much fun. It's the power of Zoom. It's really fun. We can't wait. That's so cool. Go to eventbrite.com and check that out. And we've got,

but we've got Oscar Nunez here right now. And tell us what you're doing right now. You're on shows. You're on, you're on Mr. Iglesias, correcto? Oh yeah. Okay.

That's fresh.'s new new season that's fresh that's that came out i don't know they split the last season up into two parts and so they rolled out i just saw on my main page on uh on netflix so i think it's out now it's on netflix good show great guy we just had him on this podcast i love gabriel so much sweetheart he's a good fella it's a good fella and a great a good fella and a great, God damn, he's a good standup comedian. He's so good. It was great to see him on this show because you see his mind work in these stories.

But he doesn't come from like improv. Like he's not like- No, he's a standup. Standup, straight standup. He's standup. He talks with the crowd and then the warmup guy is great. And then Gabe comes out and just starts talking to them. And that's what-up. He talks with the crowd, and then the warm-up guy is great, and then Gabe comes out and just starts talking to them,

and that's what he does. He does it. It's like, and he's a stand-up, and then he'll learn the lines, and he'll do the lines, but it's very much tailored to Gabe. Here's what he did. Yeah, who he is. You had him on the show? Yeah.

So he was going to be a teacher. Yeah. He was going to be a teacher, and a friend said, we know he was going to be a teacher yeah oh i was going to be a teacher and a friend said we know you're going to be a teacher why don't you go do some open mics because you're really funny we just want to see you do this he's like all right i'll go and he never looked back but he was on his path to becoming a teacher yeah probably long beach where he lives yeah i love it i love it it's so good all right everyone check that out that's on and jay you've been binging The Office I mean it's I mean we'll get into I mean do you want to do that now we can get into it later we have some questions for you later I mean my son and I Liev and I just watched who we ran into on the street I think we were driving that's right in the hood we always run

into each other I know I love it uh and I don't know man he was freaking out when we left because we had just been binging the whole thing. He just didn't want a fanboy in your face. But I think we'll talk about what the later seasons meant and how I feel like you were a huge part of why that show magically sort of came back around and was as wonderful as it was in the beginning. Well, it's crazy. Like to him, like at the beginning, I was like, oh, yeah, we have fans. To him, like at the beginning, I was like, oh yeah, we have fans. But then we, you know, we really try to, we all do, try to be really nice to the fans no matter what, because it's as if you or I met Ted Knight. Correct, yes. You were his age.

Yes, correct. Someone like that, right? Your head would explode. I know if I would have met like Tony Randall or, you know, anyone that I loved. Ted Danson. Or Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson on or, you know, anyone that I love. Ted Danson. Or Ted Danson. And Woody Harrelson on Cheers. You know, the way we watched that show.

So, yeah, it was a magical moment. We'll get into that at the top of the next segment a little bit for our Patreon fans. For our Patreon fans, we'll do that. But Dan's got another story for us. Let's jump in right away. You guys ready? Yes. Oh, I want to remind everybody.

Oh, I just screwed this up. I want to remind everybody. My sister lives in Florida. Oh, really? She's a florida woman i'm sorry january 2nd is a live pen pals and the 30th of december is bingo if you want to help raise money for no kill shelters big brothers big sisters and the food bank you can do that and win some prizes with me i do that every month and uh comedians come on and help us raise some money and call some bingo numbers you guys have done it such a blast yeah it's so much oh and the other thing is we're going to be doing more stereos

which are so much fun do you know the stereo app oscar it's really cool it's this free app that we get to have like conversations with each other and people leave voicemails feels like an old school radio show like a call-in show where people leave their voicemails and we hear them in real time and then we answer them right away they can leave another one and it's like we're pretty cool. It's a really cool app and they can join. So we're going to do that. We do it sort of Tuesdays and just check in, follow us and we'll let you know we're going. Okay, you guys ready for

this? Send it by Rob Fair at Rob Fair. No, I think it's Rob Ferre. Rob Ferre. That's it. The kind you find in a secondhand store. I want to do that at the next karaoke. I don't know if we can.

No, I said the next song we're doing at the goddamn, we can do it at karaoke, but the next goddamn comedy jam song is- Working part time in a five and nine. What is it? Sometimes I feel like I don't have a partner. Okay, you too. Sometimes I feel like have a partner. Okay, you too. Sometimes I feel like my only

friends. That's what it's gonna be. It's a hard one to get. Oh, we can get there. I gotta start working out. Have you done Lido? I have not done the Lido shuffle. You know the Lido shuffle, right? Lido! Oh, look at that. Here's for the show.

The leader's waiting for no goal. Enough. Get to the story. We'll sing it forever. It's worth the lawsuit. Okay. In-N-Out Burger. My favorite. Is it really?

One of my favorites, although my kids are starting to love mcdonald's so much that it really crap out of me but yes i do like it do you know that they're at every in and out two uh palm trees in the shape of a cross or in the shape of the cross uh shape of a cross it's very christian really yeah in and out outside outside a plant a real property outside i haven't noticed yes and it's on the

packaging yes there's a cross wouldn't that just be an X no it's a cross it's a cross I mean and they have judo matches out front so it's part of

a judo they're doing a lot of demos it's part of a judo Christian oh stop it god damn it judo Christian society

judo Christian you saved it with the judo Christian yeah I agree see now Oscar's interesting Oh, stop it. God damn it. Judo Christian Society. You saved it with the Judo Christian. Yeah, I agree. See, now Oscar's interested. But only at 3 a.m. I'm interested now. He's Googling. All right, go. In-N-Out failed to live up to its name Friday

as a long line formed at its first Colorado locations prompting a brawl between customers. The California-based fast food chain opened two locations in the state. This would be in Colorado, one in Colorado Springs, and one in Aurora. The latter of the two locations saw wait times up to how long? How long do you think people waited in line for In-N-Out in Aurora, Colorado? Which they've already had tragedy so i mean how long do you think oscar how long were they waiting wow in order for it to make a dumb people town story i first the first number that popped in my head was 11 for some reason i'm gonna go nine nine

hours nine hours nine hours okay i don't know if it's that long. I think they waited four hours. If you wait four hours for... In and out. Yeah. I think two hours. Jay, you think two hours? Two hours. I wait in line for two things. Open bars.

Yep. And water slides. Okay? Anything else? You're going to get wet. Have you been to Hurricane Harbor? I'll bet your ass I have. That's so good.

I'll go up to the Dells. You got to come with us. I'll go to Wisconsin Dells. We'll go up to the Dells. You got to come with us. I'll go to Wisconsin Dells. We'll go to Noah's Ark. We'll go to Family Fun Land. There's no such thing anymore with coronavirus, but yes. I know. It'll never happen again.

Did you see that documentary? I'm sure you did. Did you see the documentary? Yes. Class Action Lost. Class Action Park. Did you do that? I can't believe I never went, you guys.

It was a little too far for me i never right union city hudson county in new jersey right at that time you never went but it never went to action it was too far okay but growing up did you know it was a thing some people were going to yes but i would go to like to rockland lake like rockland county i would go to lake welch yes to to to um or to uh wildwood seaside heights asbury I would go to Lake Welch. Yes. Or to Wildwood, Seaside Heights, Asbury Park. Sure. Go to the beach. We wouldn't go to the thing.

To the water park. Had I known, I would have gone. Wildwood, New Jersey is crazy, though. All those old motels as you drive through there, isn't that? In Wildwood? Yeah. Have you guys watched Class Action Park? No, I have not.

Oh, my God. So Oscar and I obviously have. It's so fun. It's haven't. Oh my God. So Oscar and I obviously have. So it's all about all these lawsuits that came against. It's insane. How much Alison Becker is in it. And oh, fuck. Is she really?

Yes. Yeah. Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris,

Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris,

Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris,

Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris,

Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris,

Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris,

Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris,

Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris,

Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, I'm a good.. I mean, it's so dry, I mean, it's his comedy. So it's so dry and perfect. He's like, and then this guy died. We watched this guy die. And they were like, clean the slide. We're getting back on. Did he really watch it that night?

They wouldn't close the park. And people would die and they would stay open. It was crazy. Same day, stay open. Hey, man, some of the show's got to go on. You know who would have fit right in? You know who would have fit right in? You know who would have fit right in? James. James Arvid.

100 per show goes on for that cat. Hell yes. You have to watch that. I'm going to. In-N-Out Burgers failed to live up to its name. Here's how long, friends. What did you say? I said four, Jay said two,

and Oscar said nine. He bumped it down from 11. The latter of the two locations saw wait times up to 14 hours. Oh my God! Oscar. 14 hours to pay for food. I thought 11.

Dude, you should have stayed with 11. If it takes 14 hours for your wife or your partner to give birth to a baby, that's too long. Someone's like, oh my god, I'm so sorry. 14 hours. 14, guys.

Do you order accordingly? Let's order breakfast we've waited in line at franklin barbecue we we wait so have you been to austin texas right you've been there have you oscar so franklin barbecue is amazing and i will say that line is incredible and you can wait in that line for three hours that's so we waited for like four hours that is pushing the max but i could see that that's the max we left the line we got coffee we came back we we made an experience out of it i made friends with the people in line it

was fun but our joke on stage when we were doing stand up there every night is we were like hey uh you know we were supposed to do a full hour tonight we're gonna have to cut a little bit short because we gotta go to franklin barbecue gotta get in line for tomorrow um and they loved it it's like it's like, cause I get it right. And then they'd run. So what you said, you did stand up.

So we did stand up in Austin. Yes. And you guys do comedy. We do. James Arvid. Jesus Christ. You just, I'm listening and I'm,

I'm starting to feel that. You couldn't, you couldn't, you couldn't get the comedy vibe. That hurts. Thank you. I waited. He thought we were singers didn't know. That hurts. You couldn't get the comedy vibe from what we're doing. Thank you. I waited over- He thought we were singers.

Lito. Don't you do? Whoa. I've waited over two hours for- I thought you were a poet laureate. For the Avatar ride, where you ride a banshee at Disney World. And that's worth it.

So the new Star Wars ride, but the new Star Wars ride at Disney Land, which is in Disney World, which is supposed to be the greatest ride ever, like as far as a practical experience. It's not one of those simulated experiences where you think, but it is practical and there's stuff all around you. Supposedly, it's the best ride ever.

People waited eight hours for that. And that, I guess, for the very first time you do it, I understand it's an experience this is fast food right you can get something similar a block away yeah 14 hours but i don't i can't you guys for i could do four is the limit four is a limit eight eight hours for anything it doesn't take away from like what are you waiting for yeah but unless you know you don't know like like you guys like you go with a group of people and people come and go when you're in line and you leave some people online but there's gonna be a brawl some people are gonna fight so randy and i when we were at the university of michigan in 1991

camped out for a night we We camped out for 14 hours. We waited to go see the University of Michigan, the Fab Five, who had just come to Michigan, play Duke, the national championship. Christian Laettner, Bobby Hurley, Grant Hill, Thomas. That game was unbelievable.

Chris Webber, in regulation, almost hit a three-quarter shot to win the game back from being down 17, took it to overtime, then they lost. And we watched a whole basketball game. That felt worth it. That was two and a half hours of fun. Here's why. Because it's a memory I still have. That's going to happen one time. You needed to be in line to get it.

You can come back to this in and out tomorrow and it's at least going to be a third of the time. If you wait a week, there's going to be no... Well, there'll always be a line because it's in and out. But it's going to be 10 minutes. Why do you need this now? That's really the thing, Dan. 14 hours now need it. Do you

think... We know the burger is good and all that, but do you think religion had something to do with it? And you know, we talked about the palm trees crossing. This might be a religious thing. Sure. Waiting for the Messiah to come again. I love what it says here.

For context, one could drive from Aurora, Colorado to the In-N-Out in Orem, Utah in only eight hours. A round trip would only slightly be longer than waiting in the drive-thru line at the newest location. Not worth it. through line at the newest location. Not worth it. At one point, the Aurora Police Department tweeted out a warning about the drive-through wait times, which had hit 12 hours by 4.30 p.m. on opening day. Nope.

Aurora Police Department tweeted out, quote, It's official. Traffic is double-double animal style. You love a police station joke. Stay in your lane. Don't swerve. Shut up and dribble. A double-double animal style right now all the way around the mall.

We are on hand helping manage the massive traffic response. Be patient and be kind. I like that. Maybe support another local eatery today and in and out another day if traffic is too hectic for you. Love that, too. They really rounded this out. And by the way, if you're in and out, you're not mad at, hey, support us another day. Because it's not like you're only open.

It's not a pop-up. You're there for a while. It's not a pop-up. So what does that say about In-N-Out, though? You're opening too few places. Yeah, you could have opened four locations or eight new locations. And now those are franchises we can buy into? Yeah.

Exactly. Can you imagine when In-N-Out hits Chicago? Shit, man. It's already in Texas. Oh, it is already. It is in Texas. I believe they got their one in Houston. I thought their thing was we play it close to the vest because we're Christian, we want control of this,

so we're not going to let it go. Just willy nilly. No. Well, you know how Christianity likes to play everything close to the vest and doesn't like to bring more people into the fold. Yeah. Yeah. They don't proselytize any. No, they're on a mission to keep it close to the vest.

Yeah. They don't want to. Right. Police were ready for issues that may arise among the thousands of fans eager to lock down the chain signature double-double and animal-style fries. And one such incident did happen at the Aurora Outpost. Of course. This is like a grand way to call a location to get food. The Aurora Outpost sounds like someone was trying to trade pelts for fries.

Yeah, it sounds. The Aurora Outpost. In the video posted to social media, three men can be seen brawling outside a line of cars two of the men fall to the ground with one of them losing his sweatpants in the process i have a picture here always a great you can see the guy in the far right his pants have come down and he is still trying to get into the melee oh wait so he's in he's in boxers yes because his pants you can see on his right leg that's around that it's around the ankle that's how many burgers you're expecting to eat

you can't even wear regular pants i mean it surprises me that someone in a rust colored mitsubishi is starting to fight with somebody in an orange mitsubishi eclipse i love the guy breaking it up looks like the toughest guy of all of them that's right oscar what were you gonna say well i i just the police keep mentioning like we're here to help well grab an apron yeah exactly start flipping burgers for christ yes we need more food we don't need a security just uh how long do you think a 14 hour line is a mile of cars oh more than that more than that more than that it has to be more than that four has to be like five miles. That affects traffic major.

And it also, I'm sorry, but it speaks to a larger problem. Right. Which is? That something's wrong. Yes. If you're waiting, if so many people need to, right? If you need to get it, they're right now. But if you're willing to wait.

Right now. If you're willing to wait for 12 hours. So McDonald's had to be dead. Yeah. Nobody was at McDonald's. And obviously, yeah nobody was at mcdonald's and obviously no one's at mcdonald's could have been like heathens they're heathens right donald's yeah they're like we're giving away puppies and people like whatever whatever it's in and out i'm only eight i'm only nine hours away from the front and also don't they have like scripture on

the cups or on the wrapping or something oh you're right there maybe on the bottom of the cup in the ring right there's words. Yes. In and out. The person who recorded the video claimed the fight happened after one of the drivers refused to let a car in front of him in line, but the car cut him off anyway. That's... This is what it's going to be. So, okay. I use this as an example for the country as the whole. When someone wants to subvert the rule of what's going on, okay, you've waited in line this long and someone, everyone voted and

said, this is who is going to be the next president. If someone tries to subvert that, you're going to have problems. If someone's like, I waited in line for eight hours and i'm still five hours away on the soda cup on the soda it's like psalms right it's a you call it a soda cup shut up on the so called it a soda it's a cup that you can only enact in terms speak really quietly oh look here we have it it says uh john 316 which reads for god so love john 316 is what they know this i know this for god so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, and whoever shall believe in him shall not perish, but have everlasting life.

In other words, you're going to make this field goal. That's what I thought John 3.16 meant. And on the milkshake cup, it's Proverbs 3.5. Do you know that, Dan? Yes. My milkshake tastes better than yours. Because Stone Cold said so. Trust in the Lord with all thine heart,

and lean not onto thine own understanding, and let the guy in who wants to cut in front of you. Wait a minute, that's not his ass, Robert. That's very relevant. So that means this story is a prophecy. That's Luke 3.16. Yeah, that's it, Dan. If you hit someone's bumper, turn the other bumper.

Turn the other bumper. All right, that's story number two, my friends. Jesus. Just be careful. I know. The story number two is- Let's be careful out there. Seriously.

Jesus. New Hill Street Blues. Yeah. I mean, story number two is who made up the words to the theme song of Hill Street Blues? Hill Street Blues. Hill Street Blues? Hill Street Blues. Hill Street Blues. Hill Street Blues. I've got those Hill Street Blues.

Not the Reds, but the Hill Street Blues. All right. Who was John for that? I don't know, but it's funny. We got to give credit where credit is due. You guys, you want to hear something? Yeah. Betty Thomas lives up the street from me.

No way. Betty Thomas. Wow. Betty Thomas lives up the street from me. No way. Betty Thomas. Wow. Betty Thomas from Hillsborough. She was amazing. She was the blonde hair. Wasn't Ken Marino her partner? Ken Marino is in the state.

You're talking about Ken Marino. Ed Marinara? Ed Marinero. Ed Marinero. Ken Marino. You sure it's not Johnny Pasta Sauce? No. Ken Marino's in the state. Eddie Marino. You sure it's not Johnny Pasta Sauce? No. Ken Marinaro.

Eddie Marinaro. Eddie Marinaro. This guy over here. All right. All right. Can you tease what we've got in story three? Well, first of all, if you're a Patreon member, this is when you'll get to hear a little bit of extra as we talk to Oscar about the office and some other cool things.

But the story takes place in Texas. Oh, boy. And it has to do with tickling oh i love it that's all of that with oscar nunez don't mess with texas but you can tickle it right after this hey guys welcome back to the show dan let's jump back jump back in. Let's do this. Let's bring us on home, brother. You guys ready for story three? Yes, we are. Here we go.

There's a tickle bar opening in Dallas. In coronavirus times? Yeah, you heard us. What? Sent in by Jake Groney. Tickle bar. I know. Unless you're tickling with like on a six foot stick with like, you know, the claw.

I know you've been to New York City in the bodegas where the people, the owners can't reach things on the top shelf and they have a giant broomstick with a claw on it. If you're tickling with that, I'm okay with it. I just looked it up. What a wonderful reference. No one talks about that thing. You mean the top shelf claw? The top shelf claw. Bodega claw.

They don't have them at Ralph's because's because of the liability they're you have to go to the to a bodega you gotta go to bodega because it's like the it's necessity is the mother of invention we gotta get that thing off the top shelf i don't have a ladder in here uh tom takar great comic lives in new york he posted a picture of him in front of a bodega and he goes shout out to the balls on this bodega who just put a whole food sign in their window and it's a bodega that just says whole foods and it's their sign that somehow they got a hold of it just put in their window while they don't sell partial foods they sell the whole food go ahead interview me i'm the owner i'm the owner so so what, sir, you are aware that that is a... I know what you're going to say. The food is whole, okay? I know, but...

There's no pieces of food. Okay, sir, but it's not whole foods. Right? You see this orange? It's whole. It's a whole food. Yeah, you're going to sell the whole orange. We understand that, but...

Agree to agree. Let's agree to agree. Legally, that's not what we're here to do. We're here to tell you... Have some Royal Crown Cola. No, we do not want Royal... And I've noticed you just handed me half a Royal Crown soda. It's been dry. There's something that is...

You gave me half... But the bottle is whole. Yeah, the bottle is whole. Half of the soda doesn't... He's got you there, Dave. Well, it's a metric. Are we not... Oh, come metric. We can't discuss metrics. But it says owned by Amazon.

Does this store own by Amazon? The river? No, not the river. Not the river, the company. We have affiliates in Brazil and Brasilia. But you can't put the company name. You can't put the smile, the package smile, the two arrows.

You can't. Oh, that is a registered trademark slipping slide. We have them in the back. They're slipping slide. It's not a slipping slide. They're defective. They're defective. You put the two U's together and the child can slide around.

This is clearly a copyright infringement. I turn into Triumph, the insult comment. The child around. This is clearly a copyright infringement. I turn into Triumph the insult commentator. And I poop on you, okay? I poop on you. We appreciate that you admit it's defective. Okay, here we go. I also checked the link because I was like, what if this was sent from two

years ago? Nope, this is from December 2020. Oh, good. Damn. But even if it happened like four years ago. The tickle bar is ridiculous. It's for people who can't get laid, who can't approach other people. Here's what it says. I think some people love... I hate it.

I hate it. Some people love it. Remember the back tickles you loved as a kid? No. Do not. The black magic your mom used to put you straight to sleep? No. She did not use black magic.

It's called magic. Magic is a baseball bat. How about the times you almost dozed off while someone played with your hair? No, that still happens. I'm glad they said hair. Yes. Then it says, are you relaxed? Just thinking about it.

I hate articles that talk to me like I'm their friend. No. Very anxious. And also, I can't answer you. Kimberly Haley Coleman. Too many names. Too many names. Too many names.

She wants to sell you that experience of all those tickling feelings with the launch of her new business, The Tickle Bar, and she doesn't know if her idea is crazy, brilliant, or maybe a little above. Hey, what's Kim doing down in Dallas? She's got her own business. She goes by Kimberly now. I wish everyone was looking at Oscar's expression.

This is so problematic on so many levels. It is so many levels. Quote, when I tell people, I get a really polarized reaction, says Kimberly Haley Coleman. You think? Kimberly Haley Coleman, so close to the

syllables for alexander hamilton it's either oh my god that's genius why hasn't anyone done that before or it's quote no no one is going to do that that is the craziest thing i've ever heard that's when i knew i had to try it she said it's either why has no one done this before or why are you doing this now? Why do you want to go to jail so bad? On opening night, no women showed up. Just men. The businesswoman needed a fresh idea to pay the rent on her then-empty office building of Off Hillside and Mockingbird.

Don't. Here's the only stipulation with the bar. It has to be 500 yards from a school. For their patron's sake. She wrote, here's the only stipulation with the bar it has to be 500 yards from a school i thought for their patrons sake she wrote i thought i wish i could get somebody to tickle my back why don't people do that that is your first thought when your building is not being rented out right just do a project with the weinstein company so i decided i'm going to freaking do it she says who knows if it's going to work but i'm going to do it i bet says. Who knows if it's going to work, but I'm going to do it.

I bet you who knows if it's not going to work. Is that your pitch to investors? I'm going to freaking do it is what you said when you went bungee jumping with a beer mug in your hand. I'm going to freaking do it is what you said when you sat down to write Biodome. I'm going to freaking do it is what you said when you eloped. I'm going to freaking do it is what you said when you were like, I'm going to keep the baby. I'm going to freaking do it is what you said when you were like, I'm going to keep the baby. I'm going to freaking do it is what you said right before you tackled the security guard.

Yes. Okay, here she goes. If you hear the name, the tickle bar, and it reminds you of dry bar, the parallel is intentional. I know it did not remind me. Wednesdays, 50% off for priests and Boy Scout leaders.

Even though the tickle bar doesn't offer any of the same services. So don't go there expecting a hair wash and a blowout. The tickle bar is more of a massage slash spa experience. But Haley Coleman wants people to envision the same affordable luxury they get when they go to a dry bar. I want them to think pampering and relaxation. No one thinks that when they're getting a dry bar i i want them to think pampering and relaxation no one no one thinks that when they're getting tickled or tackled so we started out getting tackled on this now we're getting tickled from tackles to tickles is there is there liquor served or is it

i don't understand is it i think you can liquor i think they mean texture at the appointment time guests will be greeted at the door by a mask technician. And as long as they are also wearing masks, yes, this is a no mask, no service business. Okay, good, good. I'm on board with her now. Here we go. Oscar called it. The guests will be taken to a waiting area and served pink cookies and a glass of rosé. Now I'm in.

Dan. Yes. All it took was pink cookies and a glass of rosé. All it took was rosé. Dan. Dan is ready to get... Dan's like... Oh, my God.

I love that Dan at the beginning of this is like, who is this bitch? I mean, what is she doing? Well, we talked about rosé. And then one glass of rosé, and Dan's like, we should give it a shot. Look, one glass of rosé, and I don't care who tickles me.

Dan, I'm going to start calling you Rosé O'Donnell. There you go. Rosé Van Kirk. From there, guests will be taken into the one of the five now what she has labeled this dungeons if you hadn't said no up to this point which you would have everybody would say no here's where here's where it all falls apart dan even dan is like i can't throw down the rose it's an escape room it becomes one whether you want it to be or not that's what it should be compared to from

there guests will be taken into one of five tickle tents nope no no no tickle the moroccan style tents adorned with fairy lights let's hear them out you guys what happens inside the tent adorned with fairy lights where they'll be given the options to take their shirts off, as well as to close the tent flap for privacy. These are Moroccan tents. I'm just taking off one pant leg. That's all. That's it. And you know the long tradition of tickling that comes out of Morocco.

You know how that's the first thing you think of when you think of Moroccan men is giggling? Let me tickle you. No. He's like Grand Bizarre. He's like Grand Bizarre. No. The list. Those are my fingers, I assure you.

I make your shoes curl. Nope. I want to go to the Whole Foods bodega that offers tickling. Dude. The list of shiver-inducing services is short and sweet. You can either do hair play, back tickles, or both for 25 or 50 minutes. 5-0. Who's doing this to you?

Dude, you said it. Priest and Boy Scout. I can't be tickled for 10, no, not even a second. Back tickles can involve feathers and textures, shape tracing, and a soft touch or firmer scratchers for more ticklish individuals. So it's light massage. I just call it a whorehouse. Why are they beating around the bush?

Why must we pretend? Why are you beating around the bush when you should be beating around someone's bush? Likewise, the hair play sessions can also involve a variety of combs or devices. You can get a brush. This is literally just unskilled massage. It's non-licensed massage. Now listen, you can go to the saloon, you can go to the brothel, or

you can go to the tickle bar. This can only exist at this time and it can never exist back in Western times. This is now. No, there is no way, although it can never exist back in western times this is now no there is no way yeah although it would have been great in west world oh 100 for those who want to try before they buy kimberly haley coleman is hosting an outdoor mass socially distant tickled pink event how do you do that it was on december 5th so we missed it please i hope

how any member went to it it was is she onto something we're making fun of this woman is she onto something you could see this is where you start to wonder am i dumb she says drop by in and out yeah exactly drop by for a free t-shirt if any townie in texas can get us a tickle bar t-shirt oh my god free you get a i'll comp you to the next live show. Dallas. January 16th. By the way, this does not feel like a Dallas thing. We've been to Dallas. This is what... Dude, Texas is going blue.

Feels like a Portland. This feels like a Portland thing. Yes. Drop by for a t-shirt. San Francisco, Portland. Thank you. And a pink feather boa and some Insta-worthy pictures of shirtless guys in feather wings walking around this event.

If you'd like a tickle teaser, you must notify them advance. Otherwise for ladies and for gay men. Yeah, this is pride parade and me. Haley Coleman admits, quote, she's learning a bit about the purient interest of people when they hear

about tickles and she's embracing it. Even though you just go to a regular bar and tickle each other like a gay bar? Yes, because you can't charge for that. Get a banquet room at the Holiday Inn. Tickle yourself all night. Get a tickle tent over at the Holodome. Call it Feather Friends. There you go. Tickle teams. Even though

it isn't, if it gives me a double take, I'm going to take that. Why wouldn't she call it Tickle Town? That's great. Why in the world would she call it tickle town that's great why in the world to tickle town we're going down love it because when they look twice they're going to see that it's people like me and over 50 women who is a client not the 20 year old fraternity guy looking for a happy ending so she's trying to get out in front of that. She jumped right to the... Yeah, because she knows what everybody's thinking.

She knows what happens when the flap gets shut. When the flap goes shut. When the flap goes shut. Can you tickle my lower abdomen? Keep going down. Just remember, in the tickle tent, when one flap closes, another flap opens. Those guys ruined everything.

What was that? when one flap closes another flap open those guys ruined everything what was that one one flap open dan at daniel bank daniel that story that is story three holy smokes i wonder how much it cost for 50 minutes of a tickle thing she didn't say no no can you sustain being tickled for 50 minutes i know something horrible is happening? Can you do it? Dan, she feels like someone who doesn't have a way, like a cash register in this. She has no way to like an iPad to even a square to pay.

No. She probably hasn't even worked out the pricing. If she makes money off this thing, God bless her. Go for it. Is it a barter system? Why do you say she doesn't? We don't know. No, I'm saying she doesn't seem so.

I can pay you in three hot air balloon rides. Okay. Done. Fair. Done. Spanish doubloons. All right. There you go.

That's the show. Oscar Nunez, you are the best. Thank you so much for joining us on the show today. Great having you. I still have to hang out with you. We got to make a plan. I promise you we will. Have we started recording?

No, we have not. Get ready. We're about to. See, that's how you know it was fun. You didn't even know we were recording yet. No, I didn't. I thought it was like the pre... Yeah, well, this is what we say. This is like the beginning of a writer's room and at the end of every show we say,

oh shit, we got to get back to work.