Dumb People Town - Paul Soter - Ann Can't Cook

Episode Date: April 18, 2023

Paul Soter of Broken Lizard (Quasi on Hulu 4/20) joins as Jason warns against calling 911 over barbecue, Randy questions how an airline can claim a cockroach in a meal is actually sautéed ginger, and... Daniel gets to the bottom of how a Chik-Fil-A offered it's employees food instead of pay, and so much more! Thanks to our sponsors: To get 10% off, up to $30 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame just go to SkylightFrame.com/DPT.  Go to meetmaev.com/DPT to receive $40 off your first order. Visit BetterHelp.com/DPT today to get 10% off your first month.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Dan and Ren and Jay will share tales of folks so unaware they lack in grace and sometimes choose the life they choose. We'll make the news, breaking down each epic fail. In Florida, there's half-price bail. I'm happy to say they couldn't make this up. So listen to our podcast jam with co-hosts Armand and Dan And don't be a jerk Cause when the music gets the funny hits We are gonna take you down
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Starting point is 00:02:08 That's meetmaev.com. Hey, townies. Welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population news. Population Soder. Paul Soder. Long time coming. I'm so happy you're here.
Starting point is 00:02:22 I finally get my honorary key to Dumb People Town. Hey, man. You you're in and it's a key that doesn't work it's like one of those breaks off in the lot have you done that i did that recently you broke off the lock yeah my wife's like the door to her office was like when it rained it expanded and i'm like i'll just put this in here and i literally broke it off we had to call locksmith and get it i felt like i was the mayor of dumb people uh i have a tesla now and i have lost the key and the car seems to still be working yeah because your phone okay so as long as i have my phone but i love that why do they give us the key but i love that because you because people could drive your car with the without having access to your car via their phone if they just have the key they can i want you to
Starting point is 00:03:00 explain to him how the frunk works anyway uh paul sorter is with us if If you know or you recognize this voice, you recognize if you're watching this on YouTube, of course, you're probably a fan of Super Troopers and Broken Lizard. Everything great that the Broken Lizard group has done. And personally, Paul and I were pages together at CBS back in 1994. So we have a deep, deep, deep, long history. And I just remember being in that group of people some really talented people in that group and thinking all right some of us are going to do some really amazing stuff it that made it the coolest job and i had gone out of college and
Starting point is 00:03:36 you know broken lizard was trying to get stuff going but i needed a job and i had had terrible jobs i worked at behind the pen counter of a stationary store. I'd worked at Guggenheim as a, as a guard, like the worst museum guard in the world. And then when I landed on that, it was just so awesome because it not only was that a way to pay the bills, but it did feel like an incubator. Like there was like 25 pages all within a few years of being out of college, all wanting to get an entertainment or TV or news or whatever. Uh, and going out together every night and,
Starting point is 00:04:10 you know, and riffing constantly and bullshitting constantly. And I, you know, I loved it. And I'm like, so every single ounce of success, when I see something like this,
Starting point is 00:04:19 you have a new movie out. We're going to talk about it at the top of the second break quasi. We're going to talk about all of it, but I just am so proud of you and I'm psyched for you buddy thank you thank you it's i'm amazed that uh all these years later here we are letting us make if it's good they'll let you make it that's just the way it rolls i think yeah and at this point if it's cheap enough yeah if it's cheap if it's good and cheap what did our uncle also had our uncle had a sign at his print shop he said you can get it good cheap or fast pick two if it's good and cheap it's not gonna be fast if it's good and fast it's
Starting point is 00:04:51 not gonna be cheap if it's fast and cheap it's not gonna be good you know pick two pick two uh the other thing is one thing that's sort of like a constant running through all your movies and you guys play this the true play it so well dumb is such a running theme the dumbness of your characters the idiocy of the cops and super troopers the idiocy the shenanigans the idiocy is like the uh the charge and it really off of there explodes everywhere into the stories yeah and i think um but the key is then uh it should be written smart to sound convincingly dumb. That's always the thing is people are like, oh, your movies are so dumb. I love it.
Starting point is 00:05:29 They're dumb. And you're like, well, yes, the guys are dumb. The guys are dumb. We're celebrating how dumb people are. The guys are dumb. We're perceptively dropping in on these things. And that's what I feel like this show, why I think you're uniquely engineered and designed for this show, because we get dumb stories sent to us by our fans, and then we and figure out what happened we don't say that's dumb we say what happened
Starting point is 00:05:48 what were the 10 decisions that led to it so jay hop into a story right now this is sent in by kyle spike spicer okay at tv kyle yeah spiker uh this okay i'm just gonna read the headline let's hear it and this is one of those headlines. Quote, just the way I felt, woman who called 911 over pink barbecue tells her side of the story. I love it. Call 911 over pink barbecue. Is that a bad thing, pink barbecue?
Starting point is 00:06:17 The barbecue meat was pink. She called 911. She only had one option, Paul. She had to call 911. Now look, if you... Oh my God, if my kids called 911 every time there's pink inside, Paul. She had to call 911. Now, look, if you... Oh, my God. If my kids called 911 every time there's pink inside my roast pork loin... That's right.
Starting point is 00:06:29 This would be... I'm fine with this new rule. Unless you are a child or you have mental health issues, if you are calling 911 just because you're pissed... Yeah, because... You have to go to jail for a week. Right. I agree.
Starting point is 00:06:43 That should be your thing. Now, you do get a strike, maybe two strikes. But on the third one, hey, that's just the deal. No, Dan, when you call, they should say, are you sure you want to do this? They probably do. She said what you would call for in a dispatcher. Give them three chances on the phone. This is like the flop rule in sports.
Starting point is 00:06:58 Now they're penalizing players. Whoa, Siri just told me that's not nice. They're penalizing people for flopping in soccer and basketball. You can't do this, Paul. You can't just call 911 when you're pissed. Maybe not prison, but at least a week of community service. Right. But that 911 operator was probably checked off the board like yet another call for pink barbecue.
Starting point is 00:07:20 Oh my God, if I had a nickel. For everyone who complained about pink barbecue. Tied up this line with a pink barbecue complaint. WRAL News on Friday spoke to the woman who ripped into a local barbecue restaurant for serving her pink meat. Ann Cook, so her name is Cook. If your name is Cook, she feels like she knows more than most people.
Starting point is 00:07:41 More like Can Cook, she thinks. Ann Can Cook said she has had barbecue at other restaurants and it was never people. Can cook, she thinks. And can cook said she has had barbecue at other restaurants and it was never pink. So you're an expert, right? You're a food critic is what you're saying. No, you've just had barbecue. You're going to freak out with the name of this place, right? Yeah, go, go, go. Well, I was just going to say, it reminds
Starting point is 00:07:58 me, it's been a while. If you guys have Asian ribs, Asian barbecue pork ribs, some of those are very pink and wonderfully delicious. Yeah, that's how they're supposed to be. So there's a tinge of racism in her. Yeah, she's trying to say. I don't like the way that, okay. Or at least lack of knowledge.
Starting point is 00:08:12 Lack of knowledge. All right. She's not an expert. The issue started, she said, when she returned to Clyde Cooper's barbecue in Raleigh, North Carolina. I've been there too. In North Carolina?
Starting point is 00:08:23 I've been there with you guys. I've definitely had North Carolina barbecue and I think I was taken to kind of an iconic Clyde Cooper's is like an iconic amazing. Dan came with us when we shot our pilot for the travel channel they don't ever screw up there everything is done with purpose
Starting point is 00:08:38 there. My mouth is watering thinking about this. So here it is. The issue started she said when she returned to Clyde Cooper's barbecue to either have the restaurant cook the barbecue longer, serve her something else off the menu, or give her a refund. Cook said none of these things happened after she talked
Starting point is 00:08:54 to the owner of the restaurant. We know the owner of the restaurant. The owner of the restaurant was a really nice woman. Very nice, knew her barbecue. Cook said she wrote the negative review because she felt the owner was being dismissive of her concerns, explaining that that's just the way I felt. That's the reason why I called the cops review because she felt the owner was being dismissive of her concerns, explaining that. That's just the way I felt. That's the reason why I called the cops.
Starting point is 00:09:08 Because I couldn't get my money back or I couldn't get a different plan. Dan, I'm with you. She's got to go to jail for a week. But I think the key part is that's just the way I felt. We live in an age now where it is honor the feelings. It doesn't matter if the barbecue is even pink or not, whether it was or not right it's the way i felt i felt not heard i felt disrespected did not feel heard so you have one option and my feelings were as important as someone who may be in a car accident or a house fire oh no i need to be domestic i'm gonna be heard by someone
Starting point is 00:09:40 my feelings are like i deserve these resources my feelings are more important than the truth i deserve these resources my feelings are more important than the truth dan and can't cook uh can we judge can we cook i don't think her i don't have a problem with them saying we are not going to reheat this or cook it longer i don't have a problem the business owner going that's what we gave you that's how we serve things i think in that case maybe give somebody a refund like i don't think her requests are crazy to say could you either give me something else or cook this longer or give me a refund i don't think that's crazy i also think you know illinois especially wisconsin you go to a lot of like bars and restaurants where they just like we're not serving canadian club whiskey today and you can see it's on there they're just not doing that that day what if they said we'll do
Starting point is 00:10:22 what if what if the the said, she said, we'll do this, but you can never ask for this ever again. This is the one time we'll do this. How about they say, we'll give you a free meal. All you can eat. We'll cook this till it's dark, dark Brown. Great. You have to stand up in front of everyone and say, I'm an idiot.
Starting point is 00:10:41 You have to say that. Or offer her, he gives her her i'll give you a free lemonade and she says this lemonade is pink i want nothing lemonade debbie holt the owner of clyde cooper's barbecue was the best remember her old deborah with the big hair she said uh she did offer the cuff customer a different meal but cook refused okay so see see she's like i'll give you some requests because every restaurant in the world is like, fine, I'll just. Customers always agree. That's what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:11:09 Nobody says no. I'm not going to. That's why this is an interesting development. Because the requests were fine with me. And obviously, Debbie agreed. Right. We're not going to do any of those three things. But we'll offer you a different meal.
Starting point is 00:11:20 So when that happened. That was one of them. Cook was given a piece of chicken in a brown paper bag. And not the full chicken plate she expected. Okay. So now she's expecting something else that she didn't get. Cook told Dougie. Well, she got sides with her meat.
Starting point is 00:11:38 So she already has those sides. She doesn't need a whole nother plate. She wanted different meat. Were the mashed potatoes too pink, guys? Is that what happened? That's right, Dan. You're so right. The other things weren't pink. She already got the other thing. She got different meat. Were the mashed potatoes too pink, guys? Right. Is that what happened? That's right, Dan. You're so right. The other things weren't pink.
Starting point is 00:11:48 She already got the other things. The sides are fine. Cook told WARL News on Friday that she is considering filing a civil lawsuit. What? Good luck. Go for it. Honestly, I hope you lose
Starting point is 00:11:56 everything you own. Do you guys find that you start getting a little hot when you're on the news? Yes. I'm angry. It's okay to be angry. It's why I don't go to Yelp anymore
Starting point is 00:12:04 because every review is some version of this story. Nobody actually is rating the quality of the food. It is about how everybody felt somehow disrespected. Slided. But one of your comedy partners, the app VouchVault, that's a place where you can go where it's just going to
Starting point is 00:12:19 be positivity. It's like the antidote to Yelp because VouchVault is people you know and trust. And what do you love? And why do you love it? Again, the things we love in this world, like we have restaurants. Anytime anybody goes to Chicago, I'm like you got to go to Dove's Luncheonette.
Starting point is 00:12:35 I'm going to Chicago twice in the next month. You got to go to Dove's Luncheonette. You have to go to Ever. It's my buddy's restaurant. Aren't they the same? Ever and Dove's Luncheonette are the same owners, I believe. No, they're same? Ever and Dove's Luncheonette are the same owners, I believe. No, no. Different, different, different. Ever and Dove's Luncheonette.
Starting point is 00:12:48 I'm just going to say as a sidebar, it's, we just got back from Austin, a great food town. Phenomenal. And it is, I love nothing more.
Starting point is 00:12:56 We had a recommendation from my brother-in-law who knew these guys who opened a restaurant. There's nothing better than going to a restaurant and they hook you up and it's,
Starting point is 00:13:04 it's a really, you know somebody. We they hook you up. Oh, my God. I'm sure that happens to you guys. We had the best dinner. What was the place in Austin? It's called Ember and it's new and it's a Latin flavored steakhouse. Is it downtown or near downtown? Yeah, it was off of...
Starting point is 00:13:20 We're going to be there this weekend when this drops. When this drops, we'll be there that weekend. We're going Ember. I will call because of the nice guys. Let them know we're going to be there this weekend when this drops when this drops we'll be there that very that oh we're going amber i will i will call because of the guys let them know we're coming wagyu strip steak and prime rib and i mean i don't know i'm so hungry right now this turned out to be a very why didn't i eat before this thing god damn you paul sutter i'm gonna call 911 on your ad for this how dare you this is justice that you'll like clyde coopers is seeing an influx of customers since the incident. Yes.
Starting point is 00:13:46 You're idiotic. The restaurant posted on Facebook on Friday thanking people for the pink barbecue love after Cook's criticism. That's right. Holt said Cook didn't understand that it's normal for the restaurant to cook pork barbecue that way. You said it. You said it. She took a screenshot of the review, which has since been deleted, and posted it on social media. Ha! I'm going to use your shit against you, and it's going to make me money. This is why I love Debbie Holt.
Starting point is 00:14:10 She's an innovator, and she took the thing that she jujitsu'd the review. Sure. Unless, you know, in today's day of everything is a conspiracy, some might say, but was Debbie in on it? Was she part of Holt's plan? Either way, she's part of the whole. That's my favorite Drake song, by the way. Part of Holt she part of Holt's plan? Either way. She's part of the Holt. That's my favorite Drake song, by the way. Part of Holt's plan. Holt's plan.
Starting point is 00:14:28 Holt's plan. Cook eventually called 911. Okay, I have a 14-year-old son. Cook eventually called 911 after leaving the restaurant. Holt said before the 911 call, Holt tried to explain several times to the disgruntled customer why the meat was pink. Right. Even other customers tried to chime in.
Starting point is 00:14:44 You know that was a good moment. You know that. over at the counter just some guy some guy over here it's like i'm gonna waiting for 20 minutes to pick up their spare ribs like me and paul just said i'm gonna say something i'm gonna say some of this lady i'm gonna say it for one minute should i say something i'm gonna say something it's supposed to be pink. Good. No, she didn't hear you. You got to go over. It's supposed. All right. She said, even other customers tried to chime in. I kind of snickered a little bit and told her, honey, the honey was like, this is why
Starting point is 00:15:14 honey is pejorative. Honey is like, listen, sweetheart. Honey, that's when the barbecue is smoked. It turns pink. And she was insistent it wasn't done. Holt said she offered to bring another meal, white meat chicken, because obviously this is a white racist uh she said cook did not make a fuss then left and dialed 9-1-1 so she did not make a fuss when she received her chicken daniel she walked out the door she did an about face in her character and she called in these instances
Starting point is 00:15:41 and paul tell me if you feel this way if some if the place makes a gesture of acknowledgement that like we'll give each a even if it's not the best attempt that's right that to me is like if this if the restaurant's like no we're not going to do this isn't what we can walk away and say i'm going to tell everyone i know don't go to this restaurant like they made the gesture to give her another meal you have to accept that as them saying look we understand even if we disagree with you maybe it's not to your liking maybe it's not your liking we're gonna do this for you because we're nice and she couldn't handle it imagine the dispatcher imagine this woman's
Starting point is 00:16:13 husband who has is like he probably is like through this whole thing see do you see what i have to deal with she's not legally separated maybe she's the husband Yeah Right Just a little She's in a Yeah there's a very Like smug Ex-husband right now Being like I told you
Starting point is 00:16:29 Have I been telling you Have I not been telling you He's been telling her He's been telling us He's been telling us for years I mean I just needed The rest of the public To understand
Starting point is 00:16:37 He said it He said it last year He said she won't do this I had ordered some food From there And the barbecue is pink The woman told nine one one. I asked for either for them to cook it some more,
Starting point is 00:16:47 exchange my order. If you're a nine one one, you hang up right there. You hang up. Interrupt this. Well, first you say, is this person having a stroke on the air or on the call?
Starting point is 00:16:56 Is this person having a psychotic break? Sure. I asked him to cook it some more, exchange my order. They said, they're saying the meat is supposed to be pink. I asked them to change my order, and they said they're not giving me my money back, and they're not going to trade out the food.
Starting point is 00:17:09 Holt said that after she called 911, police arrived. So why would the police come, Dan? So now we're in a situation. They have to come if you call 911? Yes. No, but that's good. We're writing Super Troopers 3. Please write a pink barbecue scene in it.
Starting point is 00:17:24 Rip from the headlines. Rip from the headlines. Rip from the headlines. Word for law and order. And have us be the guys who are complaining about, just twin brothers complaining the meat is, it's too pink. And someone has to explain to us that it's, and then it turns into an eating contest between us and the cops. If we can out eat them, then we win.
Starting point is 00:17:40 Right. There you go. Boom. Pitch. When the cops came through, he had a cute little smile on his face and rolled his eyes and his arms were folded. I bet he came down because he wanted to see. Is that in there? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:50 Holt said, I don't even think he said much to me except, I got you. I got, yeah. The cop is like, he wanted to come down. He's like, I heard six bullets into her back. The beef didn't stop there. Cook left a one-star review on google and a photo of the
Starting point is 00:18:05 barbecue plate she also complained the cheese in her mac and cheese was not melted it was five hours ago before you start arguing i can attest that that mac and cheese is very good it's so good we ate it this is a good this is a subject i talk about five hour old mac and cheese we uh i said we just got back from austin and now that we're when you're promoting something for the studio you fly first class i I never fly first class. Never. But the plane was delayed five and a half hours. And so then when we finally went wheels up, the first class stewardess came by and said to everybody, you would normally have a meal, but the meal has now been sitting here for five and a half hours.
Starting point is 00:18:40 And you're like, I'll eat it. She said, I don't feel comfortable serving it. I was like, well, how about if I have it she's i don't feel comfortable serving it i was like well how about if i have a look i don't i don't feel comfortable and and i just couldn't it couldn't get her to bring it to me she wouldn't bring it to me because i was of course would have eaten you would have eaten in five hour old meatball this is not a first class stomach this is five hour old this is not a first i have a i have a coach stomach that's sitting up here and I'll eat five hour old meatballs. Do you know the amount of room temperature food I've eaten in my life? Dan, five hour meatballs.
Starting point is 00:19:12 That's a lot of energy. That's when you need to finish your exam. They're probably used to a clientele that's going to. Dan, freaking cook. Are you ready for my. I would have looked at her and been like, I wish you wouldn't have told me. Don't even tell me. Who would have.
Starting point is 00:19:23 Dan, my kids ate, my daughter ate mac and cheese and then put it in the sink but nothing had touched it and about an hour and a half later i went by the sink sure with her spoon yes like it had been sitting in the sink right in a bowl doesn't matter in a bowl yeah yeah but it was just in the it had been discarded you're not going stainless steel stop. I gave my daughter leftovers for lunch that next day. And then the lunch that sat in her room for an entire day, not in the refrigerator. And then I was taking out and I'm like, I can't throw this away. And I ate it a day later.
Starting point is 00:19:57 That's where I am. Yeah. So five hour, five hours. You would have eaten that? You would have eaten five hour meatballs. I'll eat it. Same thing. Kids come home from school.
Starting point is 00:20:04 They have not touched the lunch. It's been sitting in the sun. In the sun. I'll eat a nugget. I'll eat a nug meatballs, I'll eat it. Same thing. Kids come home from school. They have not touched it much. It's been sitting in the sun. In the sun. I'll eat a nugget. I'll eat a nugget. And even like a, I kind of like an old PB&J that's had about five hours. It's softer. It's softer.
Starting point is 00:20:15 Are you saying to decant? I want my jelly decanted. I want it out in the corner. So what we're saying to you is you made a mistake by not calling 911 on this one. Is there a statute of limitations? What is it? I would guess Ms. Cook says no. Not for Ann Cook, there isn't.
Starting point is 00:20:30 This is it. She also complained the cheese in her mac and cheese was not melted, but Clyde Cooper's explained that this is a special smoked cheddar that adds flavor, Holt said, so she has no hard feelings, though. Tell her to come back and I'll educate her about North Carolina's South Eastern love her so i'd be happy to i'll educate her is like the most talking down to someone and then the article said this as if to give one last stick of the fork in the back of this woman the last health inspection for clyde cooper's barbecue showed the restaurant had a 96.5 which is an a grade there you go take that i probably should have
Starting point is 00:21:05 made you guess what the grade number was we would have gotten it but i got news for you that's just the way it goes that's the way the the that's the way the pork that's the way the pork gets pinked but you talk about your travel show that i i would watch a show where you guys an episode would be you take and back for that, you know, that, okay, we're going to settle this. We're going to explain this to you. I love that you said that. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:21:32 Another friend of ours was trying to pitch a show with us hosting, like Yelp Justice, where you find the people who gave a horrible review, and then you bring them back, and then you try and educate Ann in a funny way, and I wanted to call the show Yelp Wanted. All right right we put it out there in the world nobody take that idea from us paul soter is here he's got a new movie called quasi i can't wait it comes out in two days from when this drops we're gonna talk all about it after the break it's dumb people town don't go anywhere townies we got a sponsor we want to talk to you about it is mave and ran is in love with i love mave so much because your dog loves
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Starting point is 00:24:55 I love Skylight Frames. So it's a very beautiful little picture frame. It's not that little, actually. It sits on mom's right next to her couch. There's two different size options. Yeah. Two sizes. It sits right next to our mom's couch.
Starting point is 00:25:05 She gets a little ding when she hears that a new picture is sent. We send new pictures whenever we do something, and then it just rotates the pictures in. It hooks in with her Wi-Fi. It's so easy. It's so easy to set up. Our mom could deal with it, and she was able to manage it and go through it.
Starting point is 00:25:20 It's very simple. Once you set it up once, it just rolls forever. Wherever you are, whenever you take a good picture, you send it to that person. It's a great way to stay connected. Your mom loves it. She lives in St. Louis. We're in L.A. And she feels so connected to us.
Starting point is 00:25:32 Best Mother's Day gift we've ever gotten. Ever gotten. Guys, so be like the Sklars. The Skylight Digital Photo Frame is a sweet and meaningful gift that will give you a new way to stay in touch with those you love. It's so simple and fun to use, as they said. Even if you're not tech savvy, as I just said, no app or subscription required to send photos at any time from anywhere. It's a great way to feel close to those you love, even when you're far away. So I'm going to say this.
Starting point is 00:25:53 That's why you guys love it. If you love your mom, and we know that you do, or if you have another loved one that you want to send this to as well. So what we're going to say is right now, as a special Mother's Day offer, get 10% off. That's up to $30 off your frame when you go to skylightframe.com slash DPT. To get 10% off, up to $30 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame, just go to skylightframe.com slash DPT. That's S-K-Y-L-I-G-H-T-F-R-A-M-E dot com slash D-P-T.
Starting point is 00:26:21 Hey, guys. Welcome back to the show. Before we get into the second story, before we get into the movie and all that stuff, this is the 18th when this thing drops in April. This week, we are going to be at the Moon Tower Comedy Festival. We're going to be in Austin at one of the best comedy festivals ever. Dan is doing The Living Wake of Big Jay Oakerson. A whole bunch of stand-up sets.
Starting point is 00:26:40 A bunch of stand-up sets. We are doing Tag It, which is our show where comedians do stand-up, and Randy and I sit on the side and write extra tags for jokes and then we come up in between and pitch them the jokes we did it for your buddy jay chander say car he did it he had a joke about he's like the worst cow in the world would be a ghost cow on a farm because it would walk around and say boo boo and everyone would be like no it's supposed to be moo and he's like titters weird laughs he's like what do i do with that joke and so i came up and i said look i know that joke is a little weird but and i really want to get rid of it but i'm indian and it's a joke about a cow and i just can't kill it
Starting point is 00:27:14 all right so he loved that and that's the joke so we write tags we tag your comedy and then we came on stage and we pitch them to you tag it and then we are doing a live dumb people town this very we've got a green this podcast and we've got a green but our guests are dulce sloan and natalie palomides it's going to be so much fun so moon tower we'll see you there and then in uh in may we're going to be uh in minneapolis at the acme comedy company which is so good uh and then we have other dates in the fall but uh daniel at daniel yeah then yeah the next weekend uh the last weekend of april i'll be in denver and then my show here in la at the cats crawl every other monday with myself and irene too all right paul let's talk about quasi i'm so psyched for you i mean jay was telling us about this movie months ago and it's finally here you're getting a little theatrical
Starting point is 00:28:01 release so you're doing what's the deal no deal? No, straight to Hulu. Straight to Hulu. Great. Honestly, I'm realizing now, you know, we've never done that before. Yeah. And it's a cool thing. Cause really, I mean,
Starting point is 00:28:11 it's an event. The old way of, of thinking is always the old theatrical is, you know, premium and streaming is, is somehow less than anymore. Not anymore. Not anymore.
Starting point is 00:28:20 And also that was always, you know, fans came up to us and most of them were consuming our stuff at home. After seeing it on cable. On their couches with their buddies. Or DVD or something like that. In this kind of communal environment, there might be a bong. Maybe.
Starting point is 00:28:33 There might be a bong. To us, it feels like we're cutting out the middleman, which is kind of cool. But then also, we're out promoting now. And it's always the most fun part of the project. Because like I said, I was in Austin. We did an Anaheim Ducks game. So great. And it's always the most fun part of the project. Cause like I said, I was in Austin and we did an Anaheim ducks game and it's always so much fun, but anytime in the past it's building towards a theatrical release. And so there's still always a pit in your stomach. Like what if people don't go out?
Starting point is 00:28:55 What if there's a problem? What if the weather sucks? The box office number on Monday and then everyone's going to read variety and that, that, that, that. And with streaming, I i mean obviously we we
Starting point is 00:29:06 want people to see it and hulu hulu will be psyched if a lot of people come see it but it's nice to be able to go promote and not always still also be really nervous so it's all break it down in one paragraph what are people going to see when they see this movie it's the broken lizards tribute to monty python and mel brooks so it's the first time that we've done something historical. It's the first time we've done something with like costumes and, and, and period piece, period piece comedy.
Starting point is 00:29:32 And it gives, that's what we were raised on. Sure. And this was really written. This was one of the things that we wrote really not long after we knew each other and we were still doing sketch comedy. And so the stuff that we were writing was very much like our sketch routines with costumes and silliness and absurd accents.
Starting point is 00:29:51 And when super troopers two came out, the studio said, all right, well, what else do you have? You got to always say, this is a lesson to anyone who's getting this. You always got to have a something else when they ask you,
Starting point is 00:30:01 what else do you have? Yeah. When something comes out, you have to have another thing in the shoot and uh this was just one that we had always gone back and reworked and revisited because we loved it but we really didn't think it was going to get made because it's so off brand for us and amazingly search i was like no it's hilarious let's let's let's do it we want we need to start making some movies for hulu and you know we wouldn't do this theatrically but yeah that's perfect for for hulu and we were like you really want to make this let's do it so it became this
Starting point is 00:30:29 like dream come true for us because it's we're playing multiple characters everything is over the top and again accents and it's just the kind of thing we didn't think we'd ever get to do and it hasn't been made since Python like you think about it and those movies did great people have like us have memories of those and we came even a little after those movies came out but they still affected us but i haven't i don't i can't think of a movie that's come out like that since then they've done the new history of the world i haven't seen which definitely uh is in that same same world um so it's the quasi so it's a story of Quasimodo,
Starting point is 00:31:05 a hunchback story set in 13th century France and he gets caught up in this political intrigue between the king of France and the pope. Each of them pulls him aside and commands that he
Starting point is 00:31:17 assassinate the other. I love it. And so he's like, wait a minute, if I don't murder the pope, then the king will sentence me to death. It's caught between a king and a pope. Yeah, the classic king and a pope rock and a to death. It's a cup between a King and a Pope.
Starting point is 00:31:25 Yeah, the classic King and a Pope rock and a hard place. I mean, it's a rock and a hard place. Which is the rock in that situation? Who's hard? I'm the hard place. That's my nickname. I love it. So it comes out April 18th on Hulu.
Starting point is 00:31:37 Watch it. You can watch it at 1 in the morning. 420th, yeah. On the 20th. 420th. Oh, we're dropping on the 18th. 420. Perfect idea.
Starting point is 00:31:44 That's the big number. 420. You know what to do. You know what. 420, perfect idea. That's the big number. 420. You know what to do. You know how to watch this. You know how to prepare for it. We're giving you all the breadcrumbs here. Guys, we're leaving you all the resins. And then here's the best part.
Starting point is 00:31:54 Watch it the first night, and then watch it the next three nights again and again on Hulu, because then you catch all the jokes you missed. All those jokes you didn't hear because you were laughing, and your buddies were laughing, and it got so loud. Yeah. I love it. Are you guys ready? Should we jump in and your buddies were laughing. It got so loud. Yeah. I love it. Are you guys ready? Should we jump in this story? I love it.
Starting point is 00:32:07 Congratulations. Trigger warning for everyone right now. Stop eating. If you're listening to this. Another food one? Oh yeah. Here we go. Because in this one you could have called 911.
Starting point is 00:32:16 I just, just because. I'll be the judge of that. This was sent in by Carleen McDermott at SheBeCarleen. One of our favorite people who sends in stories. Here we go. Big time contributor. Huge. All right, here we go.
Starting point is 00:32:27 Here's the headline. Airline claims cockroach, and this was in parentheses, so I'm like, was it a cockroach? Yeah. Found in in-flight meal was actually sauteed ginger. You could have had that in first class. So now they're fighting you.
Starting point is 00:32:41 Sauteed ginger? Now they're telling you. Yes, it was moving around. Yes, we had trouble killing it. That is sauteed ginger. Yes, it had legs. That is sauteed ginger. they're telling you moving around yes we had trouble killing it that is yes it had legs that is sauteed ginger my fear when you doesn't your sauteed ginger somebody fell asleep on a plane and a cockroach went in their mouth that happens now in some that i think now in some cultures this would be considered a delicacy sure jay and i've eaten bugs respectfully crickets what's the problem here grasshopper choppelinas what did they say choppelinas chop choppelinas what did they saute the I've eaten bugs. Respectfully. Crickets. What's the problem here? Grasshopper bar. Chopolinas. Chopolinas.
Starting point is 00:33:07 Chop, chopolinas. What do they saute the cockroach in? That's my question. You don't saute a cockroach in ginger. Let me just say that right off the bat. Escargot? It loses all of its natural juices. What is it?
Starting point is 00:33:16 Ignite? Yeah, garlic butter would be it. Thank you. Thank you. An airline has claimed that a passenger thought, what a passenger thought was a cockroach on the in-flight meals was actually a piece of sauteed ginger. So this is full on the world we live in right now. thought was a cockroach on the in-flight meals was actually a piece of sauteed ginger so this is full-on the world we live in right now that is a cockroach no it's not it's ginger i hate when this happened this happened to me at a bar here in la where i was like a month
Starting point is 00:33:35 burger i don't want the onions on like grilled onions on the burger they bring it out there's grilled onions and they're like no there's not and i'm like yes there is i'm looking at it you think i brought grilled onions just to put it on four and a half yeah like there's onions i was like no no you're all good you're not all good you're good we're not all good good no and i just was like this is a cockroach yeah you're good yeah you're good okay i was so caught off guard yeah you're like what are you what a stance i mean it's such an unbelievable gaslighting that is the that is the definition of gas cockroach lighting all right traveler nicole solanki took a picture of the debated find on his flight from mumbai to bangkok on the 31st of august shared
Starting point is 00:34:15 it on social media in the middle of october that's why you don't order a meal on spirit air tweeting a photo of an in-flight meal and a zoomed-in shot of what looks like some kind of bug in a rice dish he posted it with the caption small cockroach in air vistara meal so he's calling him out yeah he's calling him out on every star but the carrier disagreed with his assessment saying the meal had been analyzed in a lab they analyzed in a lab was it i mean was the lab in wuhan who knows classic airline red tape move by by the way, too. It's been analyzed in a lab. So you're not saying it isn't.
Starting point is 00:34:48 You're saying it's been analyzed in a lab. But they're saying after you complained and we told you it was ginger on the flight, we also then went ahead and sent it to a lab just to say, you know, because we want to make sure that the ginger is. You sent the picture to a lab and they didn't enhance me? They didn't. Like a photo lab. Photo lab. A photo lab. Yeah, right. So me. They didn't. Like a photo lab. Photo lab. A photo lab.
Starting point is 00:35:05 Yeah, right. So Mr. Solanke. You know all those planes where everything has to be put away or thrown away or closed, latched, locked down. It's like a boat. Ready to go.
Starting point is 00:35:15 They were like, leave that food out because it's definitely ginger, but we want that to be analyzed later. Take it to the lab. Take it to the lab so we know that it is. Fuck the black box.
Starting point is 00:35:24 And by the way more important way more listen to hold that plate the whole landing yeah listen to how they come in hot the airline's response quote we'd like to clear the air i mean we don't need that pun we don't need that pun regard tagline of the airlines right we'd like to clear the air what's the name of the airlines we'd like to clear the air uh regarding the meal that was served to you on your flight with us dated uh 31st of August from Mumbai to Bangkok. You know they were asking, like, all those kinds of questions that, like, they know they're screwed. Like, all the questions they're asking.
Starting point is 00:35:53 The sample was sent to a laboratory and thoroughly tested. Based on the reports, we can confirm that no foreign object slash insect was found in the particular meal sample. Sounds like you can't confirm it's ginger. Right. Also, if you just have the results, who's going to argue? Also, when the results taste this, tell me if that's ginger. Right. The object in question evaluated under a microscope
Starting point is 00:36:15 and was found to be a piece of sauteed ginger. Is that their version of being like, we used real science? We put it under a microscope. What lab did you send it to? Burger lab. Oh. Burger lab of Mumbai. it to? Burger lab. Oh, that's right. Burger lab of Mumbai.
Starting point is 00:36:27 That's right. The burger lab Mumbai. That doesn't feel scientific enough. The message finished. We here at Vistara leave no stone unturned in ensuring that the highest standards of safety and services are upheld. They're going to fuck it. They're going to lie to you is what they're going to do.
Starting point is 00:36:41 An unconvinced Mr. Solanke demanded proof commenting airlines, right? Without evidence, going to do uh an unconvinced mr solanke demanded proof commenting airlines right without evidence uh please attach original lab report ginger or cockroach so he's at a certain point though you are going you're the hero who eventually is going to become a villain like let it go yeah like you've also you're like like your kids are like dad dad stop we've been come to bed money come to bed i can't that's the thing i't. They want me to come. That's exactly what you mean. And I get it.
Starting point is 00:37:08 It always is the principle, but sometimes you got to let the principle go. That's right. You got to accept your loss and move on. All right. Do you have the picture? I don't know if I have it in here, but we'll find it. It must look like a bug, right? It was.
Starting point is 00:37:19 A Vistara spokesperson told The Independent, we came across a tweet by a passenger complaining about a meal served him. spokesperson told the independent we came across a tweet by a passenger complaining about a meal served him so there by the way is probably a division of people at vistara who are like look we know there's going to be some fucking bugs in the thing right let's just make sure that no one's tweeting about it and if it is they're like we got to get on this guy we'll send it to the lab which is over at jerry's house and then the social media intern has one job. Look for tweets about bugs. About bugs in Google. You search these two keywords. Mistara.
Starting point is 00:37:47 Mistara, cockroach, boom, right. The meal samples in the laboratory thoroughly checked under digital stereo microscope. Is that a thing? It's a stereo microscope. Digital stereo microscope to me sounds like that's not real. It probably is a thing, and we're dumb, but I have no idea. That sounds like what a six-year-old.
Starting point is 00:38:03 Is that a cockroach? Oh, that's the photo in question. That looks like a cockroach, right? I don't know. Yeah, it is very... We already shared these findings with the customer via email on September 14th. We at Vistara lay utmost importance in maintaining stringent standards of safety, so all our processes are aligned towards the same.
Starting point is 00:38:23 It's not the first time a passenger has complained about finding something unsavory in their in they said that about themselves no this is i thought this was still the statement appreciate your honest and refreshing real cool everybody else was fucking cool i'm gonna admit that i don't know what this is jay i'm going to admit that right jay it could be ginger it could be shrimp. I'm going to say this. Why does everyone who needs to take an important photo, whether it's, I know this is an old joke.
Starting point is 00:38:49 Looks like shrimp. Bigfoot or this. It's always blurry. Dan, I think they took it from further away and this is a zoomed in shot of it. In 2019, this is not going to help their case out. All right, Paul. In 2019, a passenger on a Mumbai bound flight from Bhopal discovered a large cockroach in his breakfast on board
Starting point is 00:39:07 an Air India flight I informed Air India crew but they ignored me can I ask you in the airlines defense he did order a bowl of Rochios they're part of it they're like raisins anything you didn't get enough and he's like I only have three I should have eight
Starting point is 00:39:23 in this bowl I find the testimony of they ignored me just to be unbelievable. Like, what? They just kept walking past me. Sir, sir, sir. You kept pressing the button. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. I can't. Nope, nope.
Starting point is 00:39:35 They would come over. They would undo the button. They're like, la, la, la. Dem, undoing the button and then keep walking is the most... That's a power move. That's power. Play. There's a road you can... Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Nope, nope. Keep going. I've've got people because all they have to do is look at you and go what would you like me to say you did so since the crew since the crew members were not listening
Starting point is 00:39:55 i returned it to them i even objected to their serving food to others but to no avail so now this person's trying to protect the plane right uh the airline subsequently issued an apology saying in a statement we sincerely apologize for the incident where our valued passenger had a disappointing experience with the meal served aboard our bhopal mumbai fight flight air india always endeavors to ensure our passengers enjoy our services we've taken serious serious note of the incident and immediately issued a strong notice to the caterer concerned which by the way doesn't even seem like you should be like we're switching caterers right even if you aren't sure or how about or how about here's a 500 dollar this is my question for the three of you shut the fuck you're on a flight with a meal
Starting point is 00:40:37 and there's a cockroach in your food what is the easiest way for it to be made right for you but give me give me a free flight free flight fleet free flight it has to be domestic internet domestic you're saying if they were like oh my god we are so sorry here's a free flight we don't know what this is they were like let me get you another meal you would still feel like it wasn't made no i would not eat you would not want to eat i would need another thing on that flight from them what if they were like if you were a loyalty person they're like we're gonna give to give you 20,000 miles. No.
Starting point is 00:41:08 I mean, that's a flight. So this was exactly what happened. I hate to keep going back to my Delta flight last night. Don't worry about it. It's all still fresh. It's still fresh. No, you seem traumatized. That's what this show is for.
Starting point is 00:41:17 That was ultimately, she went around and told everybody, because we can't have a, can't have a meal. Um, I don't want to serve you the meal. It's been sitting for five hours. And Paul was like, I'll take it. You'll get,
Starting point is 00:41:31 I think it was a voucher. It was like 20, 2,500. No, no. What's a good, right? 20,
Starting point is 00:41:39 you know, 2,500, uh, SkyMiles. Yeah. But I didn't have, I don't have a Delta SkyMiles account. And then I'm like,
Starting point is 00:41:44 okay, do I say that? Like, yes. At that. And then I'm like, okay, do I say that? Yes. At that point, then I'm like, well, what? You get up and you say, everyone on this plane, I have an announcement. I do not have a Delta SkyMiles account. Let's figure out how she can compensate. How do we make this right? I am willing.
Starting point is 00:41:58 I'm still willing to eat the tilapia. I'm still willing. Ma'am, how do we make this right? How can I get this woman to serve me the room temperature tilapia? Let still will how do we make this how can i get this woman to serve me the room temperature tilapia let's get a group bowl which is now smoking yeah so there you go i think you just give you a voucher yeah just i'd like i'd be like can i just get a 50 voucher i don't know anyway so cockroach or ginger it could be a new a new thing it's like who's the asshole cockroach or ginger it could be a new category. It's like, who's the asshole? Cockroach or ginger could be a new category.
Starting point is 00:42:26 It's like block or charge. Block or charge. When I was a kid, we opened a bag of frozen vegetables. Because when we were kids, nobody ate fresh vegetables. Never. Frozen or in a can. Everything. And there was a spark plug in our bag of probably like bird's eye mixed vegetables.
Starting point is 00:42:41 And now I think about, boy, if this was to this was happened now like we're in the money we're gonna i can't wait to see them you just threw it away and made you use it in your car you put it in your car see if that works put it in the volkswagen put it in the volkswagen let it roll all right there you go that's story number two daniel give us a little taste of what we're gonna hear in segment number three big company dumb move big company dumb move paul soda is our guest the movie quasi comes out in 420 bro 420 bro you can watch it on hulu it's gonna be great we'll be right back with more dumb people town right after this stick around make it sound there's more hey guys welcome back to the show uh daniel take us home. All right. Here we go. Yes. Sent in by Brew Pounder at Brew Pounder.
Starting point is 00:43:27 Nice. Which is what it is. But they got Pound's Brew. If he's at Brew Pounder. They have some emojis in there. And it looks one's definitely coffee. Maybe he's a beer fest fan. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:38 Maybe it's a cold brew beer fest fan. Maybe. I don't know. OK, here we go. North Carolina. We're back. We're back. We're back.'re back we're back
Starting point is 00:43:45 it all comes full circle north carolina chick-fil-a faces backlash over asking volunteers to work drive-through for food not pay oh how yeah that's the the barter system the fact that no i always think about this when things go through so many levels that then it becomes nobody was ever like wait we, let me get this straight. You want people to volunteer to come work at a very successful franchise. At a soup kitchen to give food to homeless people? No, a Chick-fil-A. Oh, at a Chick-fil-A.
Starting point is 00:44:15 A place where they're going to profit off of your volunteer work. By the way, I love that this is like all of food. This is our Paul Soder food episode. The food episode. None of us knew. Join us for a very delicious episode. Our dumb food with Paul Soder. A Chick- of us knew. Join us for a very delicious episode. Our dumb food with Paul Soder. A Chick-fil-A restaurant
Starting point is 00:44:28 in Hendersonville, North Carolina, is facing online criticism after issuing a call out on social media for volunteers to work the restaurant's new drive-thru express. Hey, are you bored today and want lunch? Come on down to this corporation's
Starting point is 00:44:43 location and work for free. location and think these people can handle it i mean untrained people yeah they don't know also is drive-through where you want to put untrained feels like a lot of pressure feels like a lot of pressure by the way i would look at the register behind any of these things and be like i can't do this no that would freak me out i could clean clean if you gave me some task where you you just put this in here and then you can make fries we've been you definitely the fries come from a pack if you don't have to like put them through a potato maker and they come from a package you pour them in the basket you drop it in the grease you press the button it'll tell you when it's
Starting point is 00:45:19 done you pull them out shake them on the table shake a little uh salt on them and you're good getting hungry again but also i feel like now don't their registers like aren't they really sort of idiot proof register yeah they're pictures and it's just pictures yeah like i went to taco bell recently don't tell my wife guys um how many tacos did you get more than six more than pizza but i i also was trying to break it just a Mexican pizza? Nice. Good call. And a taco supreme. But I also was trying to break a 20. And so what I ordered was $10.81.
Starting point is 00:45:53 So I gave him a 20 and 81 cents so that I could get back the 10 that I wanted. And it fried this guy. I could not figure it out. By the way. Why did you give me the bill and this because i just want a bill back i don't want 19 cents yeah meanwhile you tell the story that you went to taco bell to the woman in the first class cabin and she's like bring the food out he's he can handle the tilapia bring it out he can handle room temperature just ate a mexican pizza you guys
Starting point is 00:46:23 bring it out bring out theke. The fast food chicken restaurant promised free entrees instead of monetary compensation. We are looking, this is a quote from their post, we are looking for volunteers for our new drive-thru express, the Hendersonville Chick-fil-A said on Facebook. It has since been deleted after a flood of
Starting point is 00:46:40 negative comments. The post from earlier this week said volunteers would earn five free entrees per shift one hour worked and asked those interested to message for details now there probably is some one hour of working the thing what are you doing this summer are you um interning for google no for chick-fil-a it's an internship do they give you credits no no college credits but credit for food. They pay us for chicken fingers. The Hendersonville Chick-fil-A has declined comment and directed all media inquiries to the corporate press room, which is funny because I guarantee this was a franchisee who was like, let's do this.
Starting point is 00:47:13 And now they're like, hey, can you guys handle this? Corporate's got to come down and talk to this guy, right? Well, David, Chick-fil-A responded via email and linked to a statement given to Business Insider. The corporate press team did not answer questions submitted by the Times News. It's Chick-fil-A and they're like, did you hire any gay people? No. All right, we're good. We're good.
Starting point is 00:47:35 We're fine. We can fix this situation. Chick-fil-A spokesperson told Insider on Wednesday that the company did not endorse the volunteer program and that the restaurant had decided to end it. So Dan, I feel like this is a story that started late at night at Chick-fil-A as it's closing down and the owner is like, Hey, you know what we should do? Like it definitely started in a hate. You know what we should do? People love this location.
Starting point is 00:47:59 You know those commercials where the two people are sitting on a couch and talking about how much the Chick-fil-A saved their life? Like the guy who worked at Chick-fil-A learned sign language to communicate with his woman's daughter. People love us. Gut-wrenching stories. I cried. I literally cried. I think we've earned enough capital to hire volunteers.
Starting point is 00:48:16 It's like a chicken nugget version of when Harry met Sally. I love those stories. Someone's probably like, this could go bad. And David was like, but if it works. But if it works. But if it works. Genius. Free labor. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:27 And we don't even have to respect child labor laws. You know what the difference between a hero and a fool is? Success. Dan, you want to put a three-year-old on fries? Do it. Have you ever listened to somebody tell you their giant business plans? And there's nine things that have to happen perfectly that
Starting point is 00:48:46 will never happen like when this happens then this my rule is you're allowed one if even for myself like when somebody this is like what's going on with whatever project if i have more than one if i'm not talking about what happened if this if all we gotta do all we gotta do is all they say things like, and granted, that's a big if. That's how you know it's stupid. That's the whole thing. It's built on. If people see that we're just going to offer them free food,
Starting point is 00:49:14 we're going to have to like step up. And then if people really get. No, no, this is going to catch on. If people realize, oh, I'm going to do that for a free meal, then we're going to get so much free work forever. There's so much food that we say falls on the floor. We can give them that. I kind of hope it went so successfully they went bankrupt
Starting point is 00:49:29 because they had given all their customers. There's no cars in the drive-thru because everybody's on time. Everyone's working there. Yes. I have this little sketch in my head now at Chick-fil-A corporate where they've gotten this story and they're like, okay, somebody's going to have to go down and talk to David and sort this shit out. And they look over and they end up sending the corporate intern who's working for
Starting point is 00:49:48 this is my job who ends up becoming a sycophant of david it's like you guys gotta get down here he's got ideas he's got ideas i'm not coming back to corporate this is a quote from what he said he wants to make the drive-thru only motorcycles from their spokesperson most restaurants are individually owned and operated and it was a program at an individually owned restaurant right the chick-fil-a facebook page has been attracting them distancing themselves away on the matter david we don't know david this is what i love if this works out naked tuesdays is going to happen if right adam and eve days chick-fil-a facebook page day one uh has been attracting comments on the matter even after limiting who can comment on the page's post they tried to like we gotta we gotta a post featuring a back-of-house employee holding a
Starting point is 00:50:36 young child eating an ice cream cone received comments such as found a volunteer that works for ice cream instead of sandwiches it's even cheaper be aware there are child labor laws in this country another said man those volunteers sure are young yep cool meme a thread on reddit of course everything you knew reddit was going to get involved paul which they say is a popular social news forum we know containing a screenshot of the post gained wide attention received nearly how many interactions on how many how many do you think how many interactions i'll go first i think 3 000 interactions okay you got this i believe you have any up we can make jay go first and down votes yeah i'll go last we say 4 000 up votes and 1,000 downvotes. 5,000 interactions. Okay. I'm going to say 22,000 interactions. It had 23,000 interactions.
Starting point is 00:51:31 Oh, what? And about 3,500 comments by Thursday afternoon. Sure. A top commenter asked, there's so much wrong here, I don't know where to start. But first of all, why not just give money instead of vouchers? Does he not understand how payroll works? You don't have to fill anything out for vouchers. Are you not a visionary?
Starting point is 00:51:47 There are no 1099s. There's no, exactly. Aren't they more than minimum wage? Yes, but you don't pay taxes on vouchers. That's right. There's no liability on a voucher. That's right. While the restaurant is now seeking volunteer labor,
Starting point is 00:51:59 Henderson's Chick-fil-A gained attention last summer after proudly announcing pay raises for its employees. This is probably why they don't want to hire anymore the franchise said this is actually really good the franchise said full-time workers would start at 19 an hour amazing in august 2021 that was a jump from the previous april when chick-fil-a hendersonville promised to staff 15 an hour dude that's a huge jump not all employees were eligible for the 19 rate workers uh who were 14 and 15 started at 12 dollars per hour and part-time employees at 14 i don't know why this you knew who else wasn't
Starting point is 00:52:29 eligible for that the volunteers working on fries yeah the guy the guy on the line workers yeah fishing them out with his hand the nine-year-old kid working on the line we've done in and out where it's so backed up that there's a person out there taking director and it's a big deal with portillo's in the Midwest. You've got to have the right type of person out there. Wasn't there a story at Waffle House where someone went in the back and started making waffles? Probably last night. I'm sure that happens everywhere.
Starting point is 00:52:55 It's a great story. That's story three. That's a show, friends. That is a show. Again, the movie is Quasi. I'm so excited. Two days from now. It's 420.
Starting point is 00:53:03 You're going to go to Hulu. You're going gonna watch this movie You're gonna give it Any positive reviews you can Support it Share it with your friends Tell people to watch it too I'm so
Starting point is 00:53:11 This is how great movies like this Will continue to get made Yeah absolutely Great to have you on the show Great to have you Thanks buddy Wait are we done? Are we done?
Starting point is 00:53:19 We're done Okay Well you wanna say one more thing? Well Go for it They had told me to prepare a dumb story Oh shit And I prepare a dumb story. Oh, I had a dumb story.
Starting point is 00:53:29 But then all these stories are these are all dumb. You'll come back and tell another dumb story. You don't have to prepare. You don't have to prepare a dumb story. You're good. You're good. Does it have to do with the Delta flight? I will.
Starting point is 00:53:36 No, it is. It fits in with everything. Please. Then go. Say it. Have at it. We own this show. So you guys know enough about me now to know that I have this emotional relationship with fast food and Taco Bell. I was a latchkey kid. And my wife doesn't like it. Have at it. We own this show. So you guys know enough about me now to know that I have this emotional relationship with fast food and Taco Bell.
Starting point is 00:53:46 I was a latchkey kid and McDonald's. Your wife doesn't like it. We get it. We understand. You go many times and she doesn't know that you go. Right. You're probably going to go today. She doesn't know.
Starting point is 00:53:55 She thinks I'm in therapy and I go to 12 different chicken places. It's like when they think you said three soft tacos and you only said two, but you just leave it. You leave it. Two Mexican pizzas. But I had a work trip because sometimes I'll do advertising work and i had a i had a trip in arkansas but i also had a convention you have guys do cons you know yeah i had a con in san antonio and i had to be in uh arkansas for work so i decided i'll just rent a car and go and give
Starting point is 00:54:21 myself a little road trip and that for me is always the hardest thing is not just giving in and every fast food place on the way. And I had, it was a long drive and it had been raining. And there's only those options. That's it. Yeah. There's nothing.
Starting point is 00:54:36 And I'm like, but I'm, I'm going to have willpower. I'm going to make it, but it was stressful. And it started pouring and, and it turned into such a long trip. And I,
Starting point is 00:54:43 I finally, and I was bleary eyeyed and hungry and tired. It was the middle of the night and I stop at a, it's a gas station with a McDonald's attached. And I had to stop for gas. No shame in that. And there was no way at that point. Once I was in the elevator,
Starting point is 00:54:56 You don't have to qualify it any more than this. But it was just a really like, just for me, it felt, you know, like a horrible. Thank you. You said, thank you, Jesus. What's that for? And I said, I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do you said thank you jesus um what's that i'm not gonna do it i'm not gonna do that i'm not gonna do it then you gave in i'm getting gas i got the i got the gas the nozzle in the in the rental car and i look over i'm going to fucking
Starting point is 00:55:15 yeah you are 20 piece mcdonald's chickens now the my only uh real issue with mcdonald's is you can't really customize so what i always end up doing is i get my quarter pound with cheese and then i gotta open it up and i scrape the pickles off thank you i don't like the pickles that's right so they will do that for you no but it takes eight hours dan takes 40 minutes longer you don't want to do it every time he's gotta go he's on a road trip and i hate pickles so much that i won't touch them so i also go through the fries and find the kind of really hard brown fry that i can use as a oh as a tool yeah you grab one of them crispies yeah he's a crispy he's gonna survive on a plane crash on a desert island okay because he knows how to crispy it out they bring pickles
Starting point is 00:55:54 so i am still i've gotten my uh mcdonald's and i'm standing by my car and it's just finishing filling up and i open up the carton to to open up my my quarter pound of cheese and get the pickles off and when i look down there's a fucking cockroach on my no no no no scream i throw the mcdonald's up in the air and the pickles go in your mouth along with the cockroach and i don't know where the cockroach goes, but now I'm like, I'm terrified. I'm, I run, I get in my car,
Starting point is 00:56:29 rental car, and I drive off with the nozzle, the gas nozzle, still in the rental car. Oh my God. It like disengages itself, but I'm like screaming and sweating. And I like drive out of there without looking back.
Starting point is 00:56:44 And how far did you go did did you not pay 72 i think you prepaid i had prepaid but i and i i knew that i hadn't broken it i knew that i like it's not like the hose was everywhere i i knew that i hadn't really broken anything and i drove and never looked back but when i think about that as being one of the dumbest things i've ever done somebody reminded me of once i got to to arkansas was like dude you realize that that gas station has cameras and that somewhere on a surveillance video they're watching this is their christmas video on tape and i'm like damn it. If I'd really been thinking. Filmmaker Paul Soder loses his brain. You've made the new employee training video.
Starting point is 00:57:29 Footage exists. I guess they probably wiped the tapes. But just knowing now that that moment was recorded. And the camera will be so far away that it won't see the cockroach. So you'll just seem like a guy who's in the middle of nowhere, freaks out. Like opened his quarter pounder, lost his brain, drove off with the thing. And that is a great story. There you go.
Starting point is 00:57:50 We got a little bonus story. Bonus, extra story. That's how we do it. Thank you, Paul Soder. Oh, thank you guys so much. Oh, shit. We got to get back to work, gang.

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