Dumb People Town - Preacher Lawson - Takis Destroy Your Booty

Episode Date: April 6, 2021

This week Preacher Lawson comes to town to hang with Daniel, Jason and Randy. The first story is about a sure fire way to get a BMW. The second story is the ultimate test of a couples relationship. The final story is the tale of how a new alcohol blood level record was achieved.

Stargazer.com Couldn't make this up So listen to our podcast jam With co-host Armand Dan Man, jerk, don't be a jerk Cause when the music hits the funny hits We are gonna take you down Stick around, make a sound Punk or down, it's Dumb People Town Hey townies, welcome to another episode of

Dumb People Town Population U Population Lawson Preson preacher lawson welcome to the show my friend how are you i'm great just found out i'm not the father oh thank god you are not the father we have so i am we have so much digging around i know thank you we have so many manila envelopes we're gonna go through all of them are you okay okay okay perfect let's do it let's open it up no uh so So how are you doing, man? You are one of our friends that is actually, you've continued to work.

You're doing your thing. You're on the NBC show. You were on Unleashed. So funny. I'm so happy we got to do that little thing with you. That was really fun. That was really cool, man. Wasn't that a blast?

Yeah. That was probably the most fun i've ever had on any show but i mean i didn't it was yeah it was it was good it was a lot of fun you guys got well you got to be yourself you got to be really funny and uh anytime there's like a bear eating stuff off a plate in a hot dog you're that close to those animals i mean we got really close to the bear outside when we shot the sketch with it and i was like i've never been this close to this big of an animal i never this close i remember her i remember they were they was trying to the trainer was trying to feed the you know the bear to go in a circle or something and then the bear decided to go somewhere else and he was like hey hey hey and

then there's someone with a camera he was like like, get out. Get out of here. He was like, get out. And then the camera guy was still trying to get it. He's like, no, go, go, go now. And he was like, it was like the scariest, funniest thing I've ever seen in my, because it was doing rehearsal. That's right. And I guess the bear wasn't listening. No.

And the bear doesn't want to listen. It's going to do whatever it wants to do. You can't shoo it away like it's a cat. The bear is like a drunk woman in Austin at 2 a.m. Good luck trying to get her into an Uber. Good luck trying to get her to stop drinking. Good luck trying to

find her other shoe. That is the bear at that point. Am I right? Yeah, the bear was looking for its shoe. It would have ate its shoe, man. The bear would have eaten its shoe. I feel like the bear has come to represent our society. We're dumber. We're dumber. We're off the rails. Do you feel like we've gotten dumber

in this pandemic? Hey, man, I feel like we have gotten smarter. I feel like the exact opposite. I feel like I'm already dumb, but I feel like... I don't feel like we're getting dumber, man. I feel like we're learning more and more. I feel like the more I... I feel like when I was dumber, I was happier. I feel like the more I learned, I'd be like, oh snap.

That's what happened. You know, I don't like, I don't like learn anymore. That's why I stopped reading. Okay. That's dumb smart. You bring up such a huge issue in this world because you say the dumb people are really happy. They're having a good time. They don't care.

They're going to go eat a Tide Pod and hop on a jet ski this weekend. What pandemic in Florida, right? The smart people are like, man, I'm worried about shit. You know what I'm saying? I could die. We could die. Well, so that's what we do on this show, Preacher. We sort of look up and we get stories sent to us by our awesome fans,

and then we break them down. And so Dan Van Kirk here is... Hit us with a story, buddy. Hit us with a story. Are you ready? Yes. Sending to our fans, at Daniel Van Kirk,

hashtag dumb people town on Twitter. That's how you send stories my way. Love it. The first person to send this story was John Chataway, at away Chataway. Away Chataway. Thanks, buddy. Here's the headline, ready?

Uh-huh. Texas man drove dealership loaner to rob bank, tried to use loot to then buy the BMW. Wow. So that's a one-track mind. Oh, my. But I'm going to... No, I have to side with...

I can't believe that's real. Preacher, I have to... I can't believe that's real. I have to side with you here right now because that's a pretty smart plan, right? I don't have the money. I can take a test drive pretty smart plan right i don't have the money i gotta go take a test drive that's free i don't have the money and i don't have a car or i want to use a car that they can't trace it's got no plates this is smart oh wait so he got away with

no i'm he got he don't yeah exactly exactly but the plan was there are parts in this where he could have done something different that might have made him more successful. He shouldn't have used the bank zip envelope to put cash on the table to pay for the car. Yeah, that's a bad call. That was a mistake. Also, you've gone through- Or his ID to run a company and get a car. Right.

He should have used a fake ID or something like that. Because you've gone through the process. I look nothing like my brother. And one time, my brother was getting a checkout and i had insurance he didn't have insurance so he just used my he used my id i don't even look like that man he got long hair yeah and he did again he's like yeah i cut my hair like all right let it grow you know what i mean right but see that's the thing is like you you're in the process with a dealership if you're taking the car for a day yeah like they know who you the car for a day. Yeah.

They know who you are. Is it for a day or for a test drive? I mean, it all depends. Sometimes they'll give it to you. Sometimes they'll give it to you for the weekend. Right. You can have the car for two days. But you've got to leave something with them. You've got to leave your kid with them for the weekend at Chevy.

Might be a fair trade for some people. Right? You take care of it. That's a very smart idea, especially if you need someone to take care of your child for a second. Right? You might be like, hey, I'm going to go rent this car. Right? You take care of it. That's a very smart idea, especially if you need someone to take care of your child for a second. You might be like, hey, I'm going to go rent this car, right? Let's go test drive a Tahoe and just take it out to the club.

Take it to the club and just make sure she brushes her teeth. That's all we ask. And we're out. She can sleep anywhere, man. This is in Lubbock County from CBS, Dallas, Fort Worth.com. That's Texas, yeah. Prosecutors said the man drove a vehicle anywhere man this is in lubbock county from cbs dallas fort worth.com texas yeah yes yes prosecutor said the man drove a vehicle loaned to him by a car dealer to rob a bank in texas and brought the money back to try and use it for a down payment on a bmw but now eric warren is headed to prison that's right warren who pled guilty to bank, has been sentenced to 20 years in federal prison. That feels hefty for a bank robbery.

I mean, he threatened by this. He had a gun? Yeah, that's what did it. He had a gun? I forgot about that part. Ten years, I feel like, if you rob a bank, is pretty good. According to court documents, Warren went into a Wolfworth. I mean, Texas is trying to outdo itself.

Is it Woolworth? It's literally Wolf and Forth. So instead of... Fort Worth. No, it'sas is trying to outdo itself. Is it well? It's literally wolf and forth, so instead of for worth no, it's yes, it's wolf forth, wolf forth, wolf for that in texas. It's not a real name, not a wolf for texas sounds like a place where we are not stopping to get gas. No, you're going to just keep going. We're driving through wool forth yeah, wolf for texas walked up to a teller. The would be robber, then put a bag from a fast food restaurant and a note on the counter. I want to know.

It's probably Whataburger. What restaurant do you think it is? I was trying to figure out what the restaurant would have was. It's got to be Whataburger. It's not McDonald's. It's not going to be McDonald's. Why wouldn't it be McDonald's? Yeah.

I think it's going to be a local Texas. Wiener schnitzel. No, that's. I feel like it had to be Burger King because Burger King is notoriously known for having the worst fries. That means they already have bad judgment going to Burger King. That's right.

Plus, you get the crown, which counts as part of your disguise. You just got robbed by the king, okay? LeBron James? LeBron James? LeBron James. No, he did not. He walked up to the teller.

The would be right. Put a bag from a fast food restaurant and a note on the counter. The note read. Oh God, this is a fucking robbery, which is a line from Pulp Fiction. That is what Tim Roth says. Yeah, this is a fucking robbery. Yeah, I want $10,000 in 50 and $100

bills. Now you got one minute. Wow. Yes. This guy thought it out. So I feel like you could go more. I say just give me 10 grand. Give me 40 grand and I'll give you three minutes after whatever happened to give me

everything. Yes. Give me what you got in here. Empty the sheet. Yes. All the money. Empty it out. You owe me one more $100 bill. Yeah, that's the thing. Preacher, you asked for $10,000. They handed you like, count it. And they put it into this.

Do you want me to count it again? Yeah. I'm leaving here with $k i just like the sound that i want to make sure you're not ripping me off as i'm ripping you off that's right right don't rip me off i'm ripping you off it comes out to like 10,020 you're like take it back take it back i said 50s and 100s so i don't know how a 20 got in a 20 get in here you're trying to miss your blessing here you go take it back that's right there you go that's my tip to you after showing the teller the note warren pulled out what looked like a handgun and

said, I ain't playing around. I want 100s and 50s. The teller gave Warren money from her drawer, including stacks of $20 bills with recorded serial numbers. That's right. So he knew to not get 20s, but then took them anyway. He should have stuck to his guns. No pun intended. I mean, so he took the 20s, but then took them anyway. He should have stuck to his guns. No pun intended.

I mean, when you... Wait, so he took the 20s? What happened? They recorded serial numbers so they could track him. So he shouldn't have taken... He should have done what he said he wanted. So he was smart in the first place asking for just 50s and 100s because I don't think they have the serial numbers on him,

but she gave him 20s anyway because she's smart. So why don't 50s or 100s have serial numbers? I don't know how he would know that, but it seems to be the one thing. Jay, look it up. No, they all have serial numbers, but these had recorded serial numbers. But how would he know that the bank had,

like, instead, you know, some banks do serial numbers, some banks do, like, those blue packs and stuff like that. Yeah, or you can, like... I remember I got fired from there recently. See? See? That's a thing. The teller gave Warren money from her drawer,

including stacks of $20 bills with recorded serial numbers. Warren later admitted that after getting the cash, he drove away in a vehicle. What do you got, Jay? Do banks keep a record of the serial numbers of the notes they have? I'm just looking it up. I was asking about hundreds and fifties, but they say they do. Wow.

I think they choose which ones they... Right. because you can't do it for all of them. Then they would know that that came from us and we didn't. It was on the inside. He was like, hey, y'all, I was thinking I should get a raise. I've been here a long time. I'm trying to get this car. They were like, actually you're fired. I'm like, oh, am I? Oh, am I? Okay.

Actually, I'm going to get this car and a raise. Go try and buy that car now. This is like how every time we get a story where somebody like breaks into a waffle house or a Taco Bell and like robs it, but then also makes themselves food. Every time I'm like, why are you trying to prove you used to work there?

Right. You had a special meal that you loved and you're having it one last time. You know how to use that super heavy iron that goes on the things you know what i mean you pick that i make a smash burger uh-huh so he later admitted that after getting the cash he drove away in a vehicle that had been loaned to him by a car dealership he had been there earlier and was in the process of finalizing the sale of a bmw official say i was about fifteen minutes after the robbery when warren went back to the dealership in the process of finalizing the sale of a BMW. Officials say it was about 15 minutes after the robbery when Warren went back to the dealership in the loaned vehicle

and began waving around cash literally. Dude, he's getting way too far over his skin. Waving around cash. Like probably fanning it out in his hand, like making it look beautiful. I mean, I'm just trying to figure out how he made it this far because I don't understand why he thought that'd be a smart idea.

He'd be like, hey, how do you go? Yeah, how do you make it this far in life? This is the rule whether you've accrued it by like good means or nefarious means. There's a rule for everybody. Don't let people know you have a ton of cash on you. Ever. Whether you earned

it or you took it. Just do not let people know you have a ton of cash on you, right? Yeah, yes, exactly. If you put it out there, people are going to be like that's mine. So he goes back to the leadership, starts waving cash. Literally, he eventually went into the finance office and tried to finalize the

purchase of a B&W with how much of a down payment. Okay, how much of a down payment? Now, I'm not saying thousand dollars. He asked for ten thousand and somehow ended up taking twenties, and I don't know if they give a total of what he took, but that's what he wanted to put down for a down payment. What do you think preacher after you got ten thousand dollars? Well, we know that's what he wanted.

That's what he asked. Remember, he also wanted one hundred and fifties, and he took 20s so how much because he might not have put it all down i mean i probably i don't i mean am i supposed to guess okay uh he put down i don't like five five grand five grand okay that's a good guess i was i was gonna go somewhere in that range uh i'm gonna say three thousand dollars okay i'm gonna say four'm going to go slide in the middle. I would think $3,000, maybe even $2,500.

Do you want to change? That's my best, more smarter choice. I like your call, $5,000. One of you is exactly right. So now we get to guess, who do we think is Zach Riley? Do you think it's you? I think I'm right. I think I'm right. All right. So now we get to guess. Who do we think is Zach? Right? Do you think it's you? I think I'm right.

Okay. Okay. Do you think I think I'm right? I'm sticking with three. I'm staying with four. Okay. He tried to put a down payment on the BMW that he had just been loaned to go rob a bank. Little do they know, then tried to buy that BMW with a cash down payment of $3,000.

Preacher, you were right too on your adjustment. I know. That was a great reveal. I love it. I love you made it so dramatic. I wanted to dunk on everyone, and I think I just did. You were right, but $3,000. Here's three grand. Things began to fall apart.

It would have been three grand, but I feel like that would have been not a dumb person move. That's almost too smart for this guy. But wait. But wait, because here it's about to fall apart. Yeah, things began to fall apart for the robber when an employee at the dealership got a call informing him about the recent bank robbery, all while Warren was still there. The employee called police after realizing the description of the vehicle used in the robbery matched the one that they had loaned to Warren. So this dude's in the finance office trying to put down three grand and somebody else is getting a phone call.

Hey, did you hear the bank just got robbed? They tell him the car and he's looking out at their lot and then looking at this guy with all this cash. And they call the usual suspects. He's like putting it all together. Call the finance guy. Be like Larry. Try and sell him a five year power train. Just get in there and try and sell that.

When Warren was arrested, he had more than five thousand dollars with him, and those serial numbers match those stolen from the bank. Warren was also found with a painted pellet gun resembling a real handgun when they arrested him. We'll get out of story one with this. How old is Eric Warren? How old do you think? How old do you guys think the guy who wanted?

Is the guy who dreams of this scheme? Yes. I'm going to get a loaner from a BMW. I'm going to use our BMW from a dealer show. 38. 38. Okay, that's good. I'm going to use that to rob a bank.

So old enough to know better and old enough to put this game together. I'm going to say. I'm going to give you 20 years so it can't be a kid. I'm going to say 49. 49 years old. That's a man who's looking at his future and saying, there is no BMW in my future unless I do something dramatic.

First of all, BMW is a bit of an older type of a model to go after. I'm not saying it's bad. I think BMWs are great. It's not a Tesla. It's not a Tesla. You know what I'm saying? He didn't try and get the new Mustang all not, you know what I'm saying? He's not, he didn't try and get like the new, like Mustang all electric.

Like, you know what I'm saying? Like he's, this is an older school brain. That's why I think he's 57. 57. Heinz 57. Randy says 57. What'd you say, Jay? 49.

And he says 38. We're kind of in that range. One of you is one year off. So you should all adjust either one down fifty six. If I go to fifty, what are you going to one year up or one year down? What do you go thirty nine thirty nine, okay, thirty nine and holding fifty for me eric war and six the man who borrowed a car. Yes, you can spin a rob a bank and ask for ten k and not 20s, but definitely got them

is 50 years old. Oh, Jay! Jay is having it. He's having himself a bank. You know what? I already knew I was wrong because y'all get higher up and then your

points, it was just making too much sense. I made a lot of sense with that because by the way, we're 49. So like, yeah, in that guy, I saw my own future. And I was like, there are things that as a 49-year-old guy, when I was younger, I was like, man, someday I want this. And now I'm like, that's not going to happen in my life. Unless I go and rob a bank and then go steal a jet ski.

It's not going to happen. I think if he hadn't gone back to the dealership right away, hadn't shown anybody he had money, he might have gotten away with this. If he waited like a week or two to go buy that car. How about this? If he takes... Go to a different dealership? No, takes the car back, says it's very nice.

I'm going to take a couple days to think about it. Goes to a different bank, opens up an account. He's back in the system. Goes to a different bank like opens up an account he's back in this goes to a different dealership buys that car that's what a 56 year old would do okay right 50 year old he's like a nine year old is like i i'm just i'm starting to fall apart right you know what i mean 50 years like it's almost he told somebody including himself i'm gonna own a beamer by the time i'm 50 that's right that's right that's right for a while there you go first story down in the books all right we come back when we talk about

everything that preach lawson has going on plus us it's dumb people town we'll be right back stick around make a sound there's more dumb people town hey guys welcome back to the show uh We got to mention, this is huge. We took a break and we're back. This is huge. We got live, live Dumb People Town with Ryan Sickler. It's going to be the Honeydew and Dumb People Town, aka the Honeydumb on April 10th.

GGT, guaranteed good time. It is so much fun. It's a Saturday night. I know the world is starting to open up again, but you don't want to miss this because people always ask us, Dan, they say, when are you guys coming to Fayetteville, North Carolina?

When are you guys coming to Bangor, Maine? Well, we probably not for a while, but we can come right into your house and do this show. Also important to note for everyone who listens to this podcast, this episode will not be released into the feed. So it's you only one way to get it and and that's to come out and see the show. Go to eventbrite.com.

Get your tickets for that. Anything else, Ram, we got cooking? No, just follow us on Stereo. We love doing the Stereo conversations. Preacher, let's – oh, and Daniel. Oh, just all my stuff is danielbankirk.com. Sorry about that. No, it's all good.

Preacher, what's going on, my man? How can people find you out in this wonderful verse of ours? No, man, I'm just on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, YouTube, TikTok, Twitch, Tinder, blackcubemeat.com, OKCupid. You know I'm on there. You gotta get up. Farmers only. You gotta get up. Why are you on Farmers Only? I can't

believe you are the hottest thing. You gotta switch them up. You gotta let them know. You gotta switch it up. You never know. You might learn something. Are they doing more Unle unleashed are you allowed to talk about that or is that no no i don't think i'd do that show again though okay i mean it was it was great yeah it was it was great but it was like you know uh yeah how much fun was it on uh being the gym owner on uh mr mayor that was fun i i laughed so much that they had to keep my laugh in there.

So you were like breaking takes and they're like, let's just use it. Yeah, they were just like, alright. Because it was, they were saying some funny stuff. It's a funny show. One lady said, she said that idea is like a penguin. It's just not going to fly.

When I say that, it's funny. Her accent was like, okay, is that funny? Well, check this out. Steroids. And it made it funnier, bro. And I couldn't. I was too. I'm so immature.

I just couldn't. No, that's the sign of it. You know what? That's really natural. You know what I mean? And people love that because there's like something real is happening in the moment. they love to capture that on film i love it yeah yeah i thought you were great people should check that out if they haven't already i love that well should we jump in the second story let's do it okay here we go yes and they say romance is dead well i should say first

who says that i don't know they say this was sent in by in by Kyle Andrews at this is a great Twitter handle. Let's hear it at late night nachos. That's a dude. I like that. How you want to hang out with late night nachos. I made homemade nachos the other day. You go and melted cheese or like a drizzle cheese whiz melted cheese. I need to shred it and then you melted shredded and melted and then I made my own guacamole. Preacher Lawson has not seen a nacho in years am i right or am i wrong i have you have

where what so i i see him all the time when i'm at like when i go to like restaurants and other people are eating them oh yeah you don't need them i mean you haven't seen it across that plane what is your what is your go-to? I'm going to get some junk food and I don't give a damn. What is your... Chips. Ice cream all day. I'm a huge fan of

ice cream. These guys love a snack like nobody's business. And I'm convinced that you guys, it's ceremonial. You love the opening of the bag as much as you love the eat you love like popping it open dan i have found a a tortilla chip that has changed see i straight up has changed my life okay it's chicas i'll bring it in and you'll try it and you'll just be like no

okay all right i like those chips that you go to. I forgot what they're called. But you find them at a lot of gas stations. They have the purple bag. And they have the red and the spicy. Takis. Takis. Takis.

You're like my kids. My kids love Takis. No, my kids love Takis. Takis. And then my son will be like. Saps, baby. No, he's like, I can't taste anything for two hours after that. Because it's really just taking the top layer off my tongue.

That's what Taki's doing. I mean, it destroys your booty. Right. How does it destroy your booty? You're like, this is a color that doesn't exist in the palette on these chicks. Yes, but really weird. It's just like, it's so much powder, too. Yeah, so much powder.

I'm just like, how do I save my soul? That's right. Okay, so Kyle Andrews at Late Night Nachos sent this in. Here we go. And they say romance is dead. much like how do I say? Okay, so Kyle Andrews at late night nachos sent this in here we go and they say romance is dead. This is the headline Ukrainian couple handcuffed themselves together. Yes, this is in the Ukraine, a Ukrainian couple. Even if you love someone, I mean really guys count all the red flags in this story. Okay, cranny couple who grew tired of arguing are trying to mend their on again off again relationship by handcuffing their hands together for three months and documenting their experiences on social media.

Hey, Dan, you know what's going to save a relationship. You having to stand up and face me while I take a dump. That's right. Also, if you're on my lap, you're on again, off again. I just ate a bag of Takis. Why do you want to be that hardcore

on? That's too much on. You guys should just go on a road trip and see how that works where you can't get out of the car. Or if you do get out, you have to get back in. But on again, off again, they handcuffed each other for three months. And they're documenting it on social media just to see. I don't know if they should get views to like months. And they're documenting it on social media just to see,

I don't know if they should be. No, to get views. I think they're doing it. Yeah, this feels like a publicity grab. Their jobs are perfect for the people who do this. What are their jobs? Alexander, an online car salesman, and Victoria, a beautician. Perfect.

That's who would handcuff themselves together. So to me, this is like an artificial siamese twin scenario so why would you do this so now you break up all the time you got to bring him to your haircuts dan i said this before oh i didn't even think about think about that preacher you got to bring this guy who's doing this is a pet peeve in my life. What if you want to cheat? Thank you. You're on again, off again. Close your eyes.

Forget cheating. What if you just want to adjust your position in bed? Nope. No. You're handcuffed together. You're either both sleeping face down and he's on this side or you're both sleeping. How do you dress? Oh, I mean, there's so many other issues. But Dan,

with the shirt, because usually you put the shirt on like this. Right. How do you do that? I have no idea. Just all tear-away tank tops? Tear-away tank tops. No, they're going to wear the same thing for three months. Dan, I seriously, I've said You've got to walk around in a bed sheet. I've said this

to you before. I've said this to you before i said toga i hate it when there's like a waiter and they're training someone in yeah i'm like who is this other person like i don't want to i don't want them hearing my order get the fuck out of here i don't want to see you i don't want to hear you i don't care that you're training so now so now this woman has somebody she's not even training in. You can be the nicest person in the world. So now this woman has someone that she's not even training in who has to be there for the haircut. And Preacher, you know she didn't tell any of her clients that this guy's going to now be here for every single haircut.

And she's going to try and talk like this. One of his arms is up every time she's cutting hair. Yeah. Every time she snips off a thing, his arm is up there. Oh, boy. Okay. Oh, man. That's crazy, man.

That's a little too much, man. I agree. You know, you got to shave certain areas. Thank you. I don't want to up there. Oh, boy. Oh, man. That's crazy, man. That's a little too much, man. I agree. You got to shave certain areas. Thank you. I don't want to be there. This feels very... I like how we went straight to cutting the hair.

What if someone got a do-do, bruh? They just got to... That's it, man. You can't do it. We are not getting rice today. Normal beans, just the rice.

Yes, just rice. I'm telling you what you're eating. You're too close. What is it? What happened? What if you want to work out? Yeah, they began what they call the way to work out when you have that's right. They began what they call their experiment on Valentine's Day and have since gained thousands of followers on Instagram and thousands of pounds. Yeah, in terms of physical comfort with everyday passing, we're getting used to it more and more. It gets easier. I believe that's

Alexander said in their flat in the eastern city of Kharkiv, to which she's like, get me away from him. This is how bad life is in Russia, in the Ukraine, in the other way. This is where you see how stupid upgrade on their horrible. Alexander came up with the idea after Victoria said she wanted to break up with him. Don't

listen. This isn't when you come up with this idea. No, that's what you go. Hey, you want to know another bad idea to keep a relationship alive? Get pregnant and say we're going to have a kid. This will save us. This kid will save our relationship. What's worse handcuffing yourself to someone or having a kid literally the opposite

of a definitely if you let it go this is only for three months. We can burn these up. That's handcuffed for life. But this is literally the opposite of like, if you let it go and it comes back, it's yours forever. This is like,

if you handcuff it to yourself and you guys hate each other. No, no, no. If you let it go and it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If you handcuff yourself to it, it's yours for three months. Yeah.

Until you break up. They probably keep breaking up even though they're attached. Yeah. That's pretty dumb, man. if you handcuff yourself to it it's yours for three months yeah until you break up how many they probably keep breaking up even though they're attached yeah yeah that's pretty that's pretty dumb man like that's uh that's don't want to be with you they're not going to want to be with you actually i mean i don't know i don't understand how she's like i don't want to be with you well how about we handcuff each other you know that's not a bad idea so his idea so he's like wait so you do kind of like me a little bit. Okay.

If J-Lo and Matthew McConaughey were this, but Matthew McConaughey was the weight he was in Dallas Buyers Club. So he's only like 130 pounds, and he's like all sick and like sicky, and they have a romantic comedy where they handcuff each other to each other. I would watch that. I know you'd call it too. Failure it too failure to lunch okay okay there you go alexander says on average they used to break up how many times a month how many times a month do you think these two were breaking up before they decided to handcuff each other all right preacher what do you he's an online car salesman me and my

broke up probably like at least four times well probably like so probably like four four times a month so once a week all right jay what do you think i'm gonna say i'm on a run right now so i almost don't even want to question what the number that unconscious the first thing that flashed in your mind eight okay it's eight 15 times a. We broke up every other day. We broke up is what they're saying. On average, we would break up six times a month. Oh, right between us. Twice a week.

Hey, you know what they say? The lower the number, the more you're right. That's right. I think you win. When during another fight, Victoria said once again that they should break up. I replied, then I will attach myself to I will attach you to myself, which makes it

seem weirder. Yeah, way we're hopefully a translation. Victoria refused the idea at first, of course, hanging up the phone on him. So they're having a good cell phone fight good this that's time and he's it's the Ukraine. It could have been a landline. That's fair.

But eventually, she changed her mind. For nearly a month now, neither has had any personal space, and they do everything together from grocery shopping to cigarette breaks. That's very on brand. That's very Eastern European. We got to have that cigarette break. I decided, this is what she said, it will be an interesting experience for me that will bring into my life new bright emotions, which I did not experience before, like hatred and anger. I love

him, so I love him, so I came to the decision to do it. The couple appeared on talk shows and Ukrainian television, and they post images of themselves on Instagram, portraying an idyllic coexistence, complete with captions stressing the importance of mutual respect. All right, let's look at a couple of pictures. I like the captions. I want them to be on Ukrainian Mori. Okay, this is them like does she have carpal tunnel syndrome? That's a great question. By the way, she's

beautiful. Can we just say that? So he's a good looking guy, but you knew they'd be white. You knew they'd be white. Look at these two. Look at that. You knew they'd be white. I mean, let's be honest. He has like a white man's version of Drake's haircut. she's really cute yes he's pretty he's got a straight line in that cut though yeah that looks like he got his haircut on an escalator okay who's taking these

and ready for the last one this is the one that drives me nuts who is taking these pictures oh god this is them literally journey's version of the song separate ways they're trying to do two different things i need more coffee and he's like i need more crunches i need more carbs that's what he needs but again for all of us here who are wondering he was wearing a coat in the other scene right now he's now shirtless and she's wearing like an in-house jacket she's wearing a house coat now i don I don't know, Preacher, when's the last time you saw someone wearing a house coat? Yeah, I'm trying to figure out how to put the clothes on. Thank you.

That's what I'm saying. I didn't even know a house coat was a thing. And I'm not just trying to be like, because, you know, black people, we don't wear house coats. We just keep our regular coat on in the house. There's a woman in my neighborhood that wears a house coat and cleans up in or in front of everyone's like all the leaves and stuff in front of people's houses at first i was like that's so nice and then i was like she thinks everybody's too messy she's being judgy how dare you we'll see this whole house this thing you wait preacher you're 100 right and i have not considered this i was curious about the clothes i call bullshit on this

whole thing they must take those off when they need to, because there's no way she could get that coat on. No, I put it on. There's no way Dan, unless you cut a slit up through the sleeve of that one thing true. I mean, and then you'd have to Velcro that. Yeah, you'd have to Velcro to ask for the

relationship. Some tension has come up. No shit. Really couple say they have found new ways of dealing with discord no they haven't they just can't go anywhere that's right fights between us did not disappear believe it or not we still stay there but when we approach a dead end and there's no understanding between us we simply stop talking instead of packing up our things and walking away i have to say this preacher i can say this now because I have, I have two daughters, uh, one that's almost 16 and one that's almost 14. You get into fights with these guys and they're

like normal fights that we have with our friends. And, and because they're two girls, they feel very much like fights you have with your old girlfriends and whatnot. And then they're still your kids. You, you have to, you have to get to the other side of that fight. And I, for my entire life have never seen the other side of a fight. And that's exactly what they're still your kids. You have to, you have to get to the other side of that fight. And I, for my entire life have never seen the other side of a fight. And that's exactly what they're talking about. It's like, eventually you have to be like, I'm sorry.

As much as it pains me to do this, you have to, you have to find a way to love. You have to find a way to move past it. And that's what the handcuffs and it's crazy. It is. The public. It's pretty cool though.

It is really cool. The public response has been a mix of praise, skepticism, and simple curiosity comments on the Instagram page for them range from lovely couple to can explain. Can anyone explain to me what for among the most burning questions is regards their toilet? The answer here it is. Okay, the other has to wait outside with a hand remaining inside the bathroom,

and they take turns showering. So they do take it off, but you just put the hand. No, like you're just handcuffed through the doorway. Yeah, but how do you take a dump? I don't even understand. You got your one free hand. So the door just opened it. Yeah, I guess.

Doors open and you're very near it. God. Or maybe they have a pocket door. I don't know. We'll get out of here on this. You guys got to take a look at them. How old are Alexander and Victoria? Are they the same age?

They're not the same age. Okay, so you're guessing two ages. The dude is definitely older. He's definitely older. He's probably like, he's probably 28. She's 22. 28, 22. That's a like you know he's probably 28 she's 22 28 22 that's a good call that's such a good guess jay i'm gonna say he's 25 and she's 24 i think he's 33 and she's 25

okay one of you no way got one of your ages exactly right does Does anyone want to change anything? I'm happy with mine. Okay, Victoria is twenty eight. Alexander is thirty three. Oh, my God, it's crazy time. I love it. All right, we got one more story. Dan, give us a little tease before we go to break. We have a new blood alcohol record. Oh, my God. Oregon. Watch out. And we're with Preacher Lawson. It's more dumb people town right after this. Stick around.

Make it sound for more dumb people town. All right, Dan, take us home with one last story. You ready? Yes. Sent in by Liz Haggerty at Liz Haggerty of her headline is this new blood alcohol record recorded by

quote highly intoxicated organ motorist man or woman. I believe it's a man. Okay, I'm going to tell you it's a man. Okay, it's got to be a man police today identified the DUI suspect as Nathan Dan Zuka Dan Zuka. He was born into a nickname. How he literally was born with a nickname. How drunk you get in tonight preacher? I'm getting

Dan Zuka. Here comes Nate. He is a Dan Zuka. Dan Zuka, Dan. First of all, Dan Zuka is not a dealership that sells motorcycles. This person has lost their meaning in life. Dan Zuka Yamaha. I just bought my motorcycle from Dan. By the way, Dan Zuka could be the whole name. Sure. So this man was like, what do you do?

He was driving drunk on a motorcycle and his blog content is through the roof. I can't wait to guess it. In what appears to be a new record for extreme DUI, a motorist's blood alcohol content was measured at blank after he crashed his car following a short police chase Friday afternoon. Afternoon.

Any time you think you can outrun the police in the afternoon. In the afternoon, you're drunk. In the afternoon. What do we say? But a motorcycle, you can't. Norun the police in the afternoon, in the afternoon, you're drunk in the afternoon. What do we say? But a motorcycle, you can't. No, he's in a car. But,

but here's what I say. We said this before. We made a t-shirt for this, for our show. 6. PM is the 3. AM of day drinking. So if you start drinking at 9.

AM, come the afternoon, it's like, you've been at the bar all night. It's like all night. You had got to go home, but you can't stay here. You just shifted your schedule. According to investigators, a driver who's not who has now been named

was involved in a hit and run and madras a city, a hundred and twenty five miles southeast of Portland. Upon locating this, the suspect's vehicle, a Ford Explorer. That's what they were driving. Cops sought to pull the driver over, but he sped away. A short chase ended when the man who cops who cops described as highly intoxicated. Yes, lost control of his car and crashed into a concrete barrier.

That's like a guy who's like sweating tequila. Yeah, like it's literally coming out of you could take shots of what he said. The driver was subsequently taken to a local hospital for medical evaluation. A blood sample taken from the suspect was tested and showed his blood alcohol level was what? All right. What do you guys think broke the record?

So let me tell you, to see no. Yeah, we'll give a refresher for all our listeners. For those who know, 0.08 is the legal limit. If you're driving 0.08 and you get pulled over, that is a DUI. You get a DUI. That's 0.08 and you get pulled over that is a dui you get a dui that's 0.08 so it's got to be point something but is it 0.1 we've seen 0.1 we've seen 0.2 this is a record how many drinks does it usually get to i mean it just depends how it depends on you depends how big you also go in an hour so like in a if you have like four or five drinks in an hour, you're

probably blowing like a point two to point two four. I would guess if you're like in a contest with yourself or she's left and you drink a whole bottle in an hour, you might be at a point to eight or some point three to three. I mean it is we're talking it's

up there. So again, then you get to some point it's alcohol poisoning you die oh right so what do you think it was one one point oh he's already oh my god that's crazy jay i'm gonna say point four okay i'm gonna say point four nine okay a blood sample taken from the suspect was tested and showed his blood alcohol level was point seven seven. Oh my God, sure is the closest. You're the closest. He's getting up. He's doing a dance. He's running around. I can't see him

anymore. He's off camera. He's going. He's running. I was back this way. He just crossed through the frame. He's just crossed through the frame. He just crossed through the back. Oh my God, that was so impressive. That's almost point seven seven. I've never even heard anything. Point seven seven. That's like pouring vodka straight into the breath.

Yes, officers observed several alcoholic beverages with containers inside the vehicle. Yep. The motorist faced multiple charges was driving on a suspended license. Previously, the highest blood alcohol reported in these pages. This is according to the smoking gun. Previously,

the highest one they had ever seen in the smoking gun. Are we going to guess it? I mean, if you want, let's do it. What do you think the highest was previous to point? The old record, the old record,

0.5, 0.5, 0.55. Jay j what do you think i'm gonna say point five five sorry i'm gonna say point four nine okay let's say point six okay previously the highest blood alcohol contents reported according to the smoking gun via their own website was point

seven two wow recorded by an organ woman in two thousand. The oregon is holding it down. We got to get these two guys together and before that the record was a point seven o eight. That's a point seven o essentially recorded by a south dakota woman in two thousand and nine. That's not a record you people in the no yeah. You don't want that right now. You do not want that right not that's in the ginnik in portland. I was born there.

You were okay in the guinness book of world records that's just in the guinness yes yeah it's not even world records the book of guinness right yeah wow there you go that's story number three that's how we do it follow preacher lawson on any and all platforms that he does what he does anytime he pops up on a show you got to check him out because he is so good. Congrats on all the success. Much, much, much more down the road.

Thanks, man. And oh shit, we got to get back to work. Stick around. Make a sound. Come here down. It's Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. Stick around. Make a sound. Come here down. It's Dumb People Town.

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