Dumb People Town - Sklarbro Country - Dumb Richard Hamilton

Episode Date: April 30, 2020

On Today's episode of the 2 Sklars no Bars, Randy and Jason share a story about a man who called in a bomb threat to get out of work. Then the tell a story about an argument that erupted on a golf course.The Hosts of Mega Drop By with a very special message in song. Check out the mega podcast where ever you get podcasts. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mega/id1425141892

Sklar Beans out of here. One quarantine. A.K.A. two Sklars, no bars. A.K.A. two Jews, no harm and kill a person. A.K.A. two bros, no schmoes. A.K.A. no beards, two weirds. All right, I'm down with that. Yeah, we're down. Guys, thank you for listening to this show. Thank you for all your support. I love all the messages we get on Instagram

when we post up a clip. I love telling personal stories. By the way, that story, Stanley Myron Handelman's story, his son- Are you sure that's his son? It is his son. I did the research. I went through his son, Dan Myron Handelman, National Lampoon commented on it. And Dan Myron Handelman then said, I can't believe the Squad Brothers are talking about my dad in a bit. Unbelievable. Unbelievable the way this world connects us. We need to stay connected. That's what we try and do with this show is give you a half hour of your day to just not think about

difficult things, make fun of people and enjoy just basically us just being silly. And this is what we like to do. We've really enjoyed getting in the groove of doing this thing for you, right? Yeah. And I think that, you know, I think about my life in this pandemic i think about how i feel when i can't go to sleep at night yeah last night my son woke me up at one in the morning because uh you ever just get tired of parenting and you're like i'm out you're like scotty pippen you're like don't put me in don't don't you have a migraine i had a migraine i'm like i can't operate right now it's 10 30 my son sleep is nowhere in his near future i'm like bro i'm out i'm out i'm done i can't i i've parented put yourself to bed i put yourself to bed i've parented i've given my

full parenting like allotment for the day it's like trying to kill a major penalty a 10 minute penalty right five on three five on three hockey penalty and so i'm like i'm out so i i i lay down and at 1 15 in the morning he wakes me up and he's like i can't sleep and i'm like did you sleep at all like in my mind i'm like he hasn't slept at all he hasn't slept so now i'm turning into a lesson about how he's on electronics too much. Yeah. But I come back to bed and I can't sleep. Right, of course. Because now I'm 100% awake. Of course you can't sleep. And I sat down and I listened to a podcast.

There you go. And that calmed me to a point where, because my mind started racing. I started going through all the pandemic things. That's right. All the issues that keep us up. And now we have more. There's more fuel on that fire. But a podcast is what brought me down

and brought me back down to earth. And we hope that's what we're doing with this thing for you. So we start out today with a little, a quick fun story. Listen, I get it. Some people don't have it in them to go to work these days.

I get it. We feel that way too. There are moments where I'm like, I can't do it. I just like you said these days. I get it. We feel that way too. There are moments where I'm like, I can't do it. I just like you said, you look like right now you work at both a Trader Joe's and a record store. And if Trader Joe's started selling records, you'd be in that section judging people's choices.

I'm a roadie for the Margaritaville guy, Jimmy Buffett. All right. The Margaritaville guy. That's what I'm going to call him. Jimmy Buffett. Jimmy Buffet. Remember, this was not

nice but remember when he fell off the stage did you ever see him fall off yeah he literally fell off the stage i know all right uh there are ways to call in sick to work and then there's what this guy did uh i would file this under what this guy did as not great. Palm Beach County Sheriff's deputies, of course. Florida. Arrested 36-year-old Richard Hamilton in charge with making a false threat. I thought Richard Hamilton was 76 years old,

like the old leathery guy who was the Kentucky Fried Chicken. No, that's someone else Hamilton. Robert Hamilton. No, that's Richard Hamilton. Are you sure? I think that's Richard Hamilton. Who is the guy who wore the face mask? Who went to UConn and then he actually played for the Pistons. That's Richard Hamilton. Are you sure? I think that's Richard Hamilton. Who is the guy who wore the face mask? Who went to UConn and then he actually played for the Pistons.

That's Richard Hamilton. That's Richard Hamilton. That's Richard Hamilton. There's a different Pistons shooting guard with a face. Because I bet Richard Hamilton is probably from the Pistons. I bet he's probably around 36 years old right now. No. 45?

Are you joking? Richard Hamilton is at least 46 years old. He's 43. He's like six or seven years out of the league. Okay? Rip Hamilton was in those Pistons team, was on the Piston teams. Look at how old he is. How old is he?

When was he born? Look to the right. It says his age right down there. It says that he is 42. I was right. Not that much older than what i said okay but i still like six years younger than us whatever close to this guy okay all right different guy 36 year old dumb richard hamilton from florida decided to not go to work that's right according

to the arrest reports deputies investigating the call determined that hamilton was the caller who called in a bomb threat oh Oh, come on. And they continued their investigation at 1100 Wellington Trace and evacuated 20 people from the building. Why were those people still at work? Yeah, seriously. Like, you shouldn't be evacuating. Maybe he's doing them a favor with this bomb threat. You should not.

No one should be at work. And no one should be threatening bombs. If you're going to drop bombs, let it be in the toilet. All right. Apparently, someone had called in a bomb threat. A bomb threat. And the building had to be evacuated. Deputies said they found a vendor in the area.

He told them Hamilton was one of his employees. Hamilton told deputies he'd lost his phone, according to the arrest report. So you know what that is. Look, I don't know where my phone was. I mean, yes. So I'm not denying that a bomb threat was called in from my number. But it was not my phone. I mean, my phone got hacked.

What voice was it? As he's putting on a different voice. My phone got... He's trying to do a British accent. What phone is this? I'm not... What phone is this? It's pretty weird, right?

It's weird, right? It's weird, isn't it? What phone? That I would be the one. What phone is this? Not quite sure why it would be me. So he lost his phone. Someone who wasn't me picked it up,

knew my lock screen code. This is probably what... This is his process. Had to know his lock screen code. Right, right. Called in a bomb threat, then didn't steal the phone, just left it for me to see.

In an area where I could then go back and find it. Immediately find it. That's exactly. Totally checks out, that story. Sure as hell, probably someone sounded like me. Yeah. Or tried to do my voice. Guys trying to imitate me and ruin my life with this.

Because they've studied my voice so well. This was clearly an inside job. Yeah, this is the kind of thing where someone who There are a lot of it. Gave nothing from all of this stuff. What you don't understand is there are a lot of incredible mimics in this area. This is mimic central here.

A mimic took my phone. You the best mimic. A mimic took my phone and called it a bomb threat as me just to get me in trouble, and then I found my phone. Yours is a hairstyle I'd like to mimic. Pam, mimic. So I thought nothing happened with my phone while it was lost.

That's what I thought. I thought nothing happened to it, but apparently all this stuff went down. So you can imagine my surprise. This is like that movie Secret Life of Pets, but it's Secret Life of Phones. That's right. After searching,

what happens to our phones when we put them down? When we put them down, who knows? After searching the area of Hamilton's car, slash house, deputies say the suspect

admitted to them that there was no bomb and he made the call because he was having a bad day and wanted to get out of work. Okay. So now, it's just one tiny twist

of the arm and he's like, all right, I made the call. But that's not the way to get out of work these days. He said, I'm having a bad day. Is that what he said? So he probably said, look, I lost my phone and I don't know what happened to it.

And maybe someone called and bombed that. They're like, can we search your car? And he's like, okay, I did it. There is no bomb. There is no bomb. He flipped over so fast. State's witness. You say, I think I had a fever.

I started to get some chills. This is what you start to say to them. I'm not in my right mind. I may have done this, but it might've been in a fever dream. No one's going to want to be around you at that point. I'm not saying blame it on COVID. I'm just saying you could go that route and maybe make it less bad for you than what you did. No, you can't make it less bad. Just saying you're being extra careful. You don't even possibly get anyone at work but bomb threat throws people into such a day you gotta take that seriously you cannot look if you said i think i may have symptoms and i want to stay home because i don't want to infect anyone at work who's going to get mad at you how can

anyone get upset can get mad at you if you just say that even if you're lying because you don't want everyone i know is begging to go to work how bad is this guy's work situation that people are like well if he's still working it's not good i guess well then he should call him up and say like look i'm calling the better business bureau on this place right we're not allowed to be here bomb threat though as soon as the threat is extinguished you go back to work this is like it's a bad plan when you don't know how to fix the situation but you try anyway that's right you we have to as people acknowledge when randy and i were 18 years old it's a summer on our way to the university of

michigan summer between high school and college, we worked at gas stations, two separate gas stations. Because they wouldn't let us work at the same one because I guess they thought that blood was thicker than gas. Like if I saw you stealing gas, I wouldn't tell people that you were stealing gas. And the truth is I probably wouldn't. I definitely wouldn't. I spent the whole summer,

and we've talked about this on another podcast, there was Sprite. Under the cap game. Sprite played a contest, an under the cap game. Like, idiots, they didn't realize that Sprite is a clear drink. You can hold it up like this and see if you won. So I would just go look under all the caps. And if you won, you would win a free soda.

A free Sprite. So I'm like, who am I hurting? Nobody. I'm just winning. I'm hurting all the people who are coming to the gas station hoping they're going to win a free Sprite. But you know what? I'm stuck at this gas station hoping they're going to win a free sprite but you know what i'm stuck at this gas station well randy one time there was a small grease fire on in on a first of all was it was summertime in st louis so it's 110 degrees we're wearing pants i'm sweating bullets there

was a this guy it came up in like a 1984 toy Supra. Tercel or Supra. It's like a car they don't make anymore. And you open up the thing, and he's like, well, first of all, he ordered, it's a packed, I mean, it's like rush hour.

There's all these people there. It's a full service gas station. And you're the one outside, the only one going doing all the cars. Right? The guy who's supposed to be working with me, Booger, that was his name, inside. So he's letting me be working with me, Booger, that was his name, inside.

So he's letting me take the whole rush, which sucks. There's a whole lines of cars everywhere. I'm trying to get everybody. This guy asked for $5 worth of gas. Super unleaded? Super unleaded for his dumb car. $5 for super? And to check his oil and add some stuff to his oil. So I'm trying to do this.

I've got other cars going. I go turn the gas on. I run over and I don't even grab a funnel. I just grab the oil and I pour a thing of oil in. You're supposed to have a paper funnel so that none gets on anything else. It's hot. All of a sudden, a little bit maybe spilled

on the valve cover gasket. All of a sudden, it starts smoking. And I'm looking over this. I'm looking over this. It's smoking. And then all of a sudden, I see a flame shoot out. Now we are right next to 15,000 gallons of gasoline. A flame shoots out. So this is dummy me because I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I start blowing on it. So this is when you don't know a solution. You do what you think is right. What you think is right

is always the exact wrong thing to do. I blow on it and it spreads the oil around. So I basically spread the fire out. Jesus Christ. It's now on fire. Do you put water on it? I poured water on it, which spread it even further. The dumbest thing you can possibly do to a grease fire. And at this time that there's a fire on this guy's car, he's out. People are out of their cars and they want to run away.

Yeah. Because the whole thing could blow. Could blow sky high. I hear his gas click, which means I didn't stop it at $5. It filled up the whole thing. So it was probably like $20 worth of gas. So I don't know what to do. Booger sees the fire.

He comes flying out of the garage. Which he should have been out in the first the fire he comes flying out of the garage which he should have been out in the first place he comes flying out of the garage with a fire extinguisher with a fire extinguisher blows and and extinguishes the fire putting a huge cloud of extinguisher stuff that covers up everything which just by the fact that of you calling it extinguisher stuff tells you i don't know what it is even after working foruishing i don't know extinguent he puts it on there and all of a sudden huge plume of extinguish extinguisher smoke and and fallout and all that stuff and it's a huge cloud no one can see anything people are coughing it goes down he has put the fire out everyone is standing and they're all looking around and looking at me and I'm looking at this guy

and I just turned to everybody and I was like, who's next? There you go. So that story proves that when you think you know the solution but deep down

you have no idea what the solution is, don't do the thing that you think you should do because it is the wrong thing. It's probably going to be the wrong thing. Think about it

before you actually act. So this dummy didn't want to go to work. Yeah. Called in a bomb threat. Let me call in a bomb threat. That's an easy thing. No one's going to get hurt. I don't actually have a bomb. No. We're all good here, right? What could possibly go wrong? What could possibly go wrong? I'm not threatening anyone's life. You are.

You are actually threatening someone's life by doing something like this. Hamilton was released on bomb on Friday, to which he replied, this is the bomb, and then they put him back in for another hour. I'm just kidding. He should be sentenced to 30 more days

if he makes a bad joke like that, but that would have been classic Richard, not rip, not leathery Richard Hamilton action of something, thinking he's doing something, but he's not doing it. All right, that's our first story. We're going to take a little break.

We have a great voicemail from our friends at Mega. That is such a good podcast. So this is our podcast recommendation for you. Every day we try to throw you a good one to listen to. This is one of the best improvised podcasts out there. These are some of the best improvisers, Second City alums. These are the guys who do improvised Shakespeare.

It's top, top tier improvisers doing an unbelievable podcast. About a megachurch. Set in a megachurch. It is hilarious. If you're not listening to it, get on it right now. It's called Mega. And they left us a voicemail. Then we'll go to break and we'll see you on the other side.

Hi, Sklarbros. Hey, blessings, fellas. We sure hope you're staying safe and staying well and keeping hope alive. You know God has a plan. And the cure for this pesky virus is out there somewhere. You know, Hallie, it might even be with what the president said this week. Yeah, so to help you take his advice to heart, we had our friends, the Watkins family. They're awesome singers and musicians. They put the president's exact words to some worship music for our new episode this weekend.

Here's a little taste. I see the disinfectant where it knocks it out in a minute, one minute. And is there a way we can do something like that by injecting inside or almost a cleaning? Because you see it gets in the lungs and it does a tremendous number on the lungs. So it would be interesting. So it would be interesting. So it would be interesting to check that. Now we don't actually recommend drinking disinfectant, but we do recommend washing your hands in the blood of Jesus. For 20 seconds. That's right. It's going to keep your heart really clean.

We got a new episode this Sunday. God bless. All right, guys. welcome back to the show. Thank you once again to everyone who's gone over to the YouTube page. There are full video episodes of this show that we're recording right now on the YouTube page, YouTube, Sklarbro Country. And then there are all these episodes of Cheap Seats. They just put Putt-Putt up. The Dick and Evelyn Florn, the husband and wife Putt-Putt team.

It is Dick and Evelyn Florn. I love the Putt-putt episode so much. Jerry Miner and- Oh my God. And Kerry Kenney. Jerry Miner and Kerry Kenney from the state, from Reno 9-1-1. Jerry Miner from everything, from SNL, from everything.

But just go check it out. It is so much fun. Go to, again, YouTube, Scalabro Country, subscribe. We're trying to get as many subscribers as we can and then just spend time. If you want to kill a bunch of hours, this is a great way to laugh and kind of lose yourself a little bit.

We're all looking for those shows and things to do. There it is on our YouTube page. Watch it, cheap seats, enjoy. All right, should we go to this story? Let's do this next thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can always count on people in Florida to get pissed about the wrong things.

Right. By the way, nice haircut. Thank you. Home cut. Home cut. I need a home cut. I need a home cut i need my hair so fluffy i know my hair's so fluffy i need a home cut people are gonna get pissed they're going to but they're a lot of times the anger is going to be directed at the wrong thing if you know always always they'll probably screw up what they should be pissed about at least take this 74 year old angry man on april 20th angered that a group of golfers were it says was violating it is a group

that was so i think that's appropriate that a group of golfers was violating rules on but it doesn't sound right i know it's right but it doesn't sound right was violating rules on the course adjacent to his home a 74 year old florida man allegedly threatened the players with a bb gun oh come on prompting the septuagenarians arrest friday evening on six felony charges six felony charges so he's probably mad that they were gathering yeah they should be sheltering right now we're sheltering we try to be a safe society there is no golf on a golf course. Golf is not an essential activity,

although I would argue that I love golf a lot. I do too, but it's not essential. It's still not essential. I still don't think you have to do it. So this guy was probably mad, right, about the right things. Let's continue. According to the cops,

John Robert Orr initially shouted at the golfers for driving their cart over a bridge and onto a putting green at the eighth hole of the conservatory course on the Palm Coast. The 199-yard par-3 hole features an island green and is touted as the, quote, signature hole of the Tom Watson design course. Did Tom Watson design courses as much as Jack Nicholson?

No. Nicholas? Nicholas? Nicholson never designed a course. Jack Nicholson never designed a course. Although, going back to our YouTube page, you've got to watch Super Dogs, Super Jocks because our buddy Dave Allen Gruber plays Guy LaFleur.

Dave Allen Gruber? No. Dave Gruber. Dave Gruber Allen. Dave Gruber Allen did a, he played Guy LaFleur, who is a- Guy LaFleur. He played Guy LaFleur.

Guy LaFleur. Guy LaFleur, spelled exactly like Guy LaFleur, but Guy LaFleur, who was a... Guy Lafleur. He played Guy Lafleur. Guy Lafleur. Guy Lafleur, spelled exactly like Guy Lafleur, but Guy Lafleur who was a dog, a Super Dog Super Jocks course, obstacle course designer. Yes. He said,

my name is Guy Lafleur, meaning man of the floor. So you're going to watch that. So good. So you're not allowed to drive your cart over the bridge and onto the signature green because it's just the green over there.

You're supposed to stop your thing, walk it over, putt, and then that's it if you make it onto that green at all. Or you're going to damage the green. Fine. John Robert Orr is so right that we should be putting all of our effort into protecting the eighth hole of the conservatory course in these troubled times. Maybe there's federal money that he can use that the golf course can get to build a fence or put. All you need are two of those metal poles that are close enough that a cart can't fit through. That's it.

Or lives in a home that backs up to the hole. All right. So now we know what this is really about. Though the residence is separated from the course by a cement wall and water that surrounds the green. So I'm sure he gets a lot of balls in his yard. And then he gets a few golf balls too one of the golfers told police that or yelled at them to leave the course and that uh use of the golf cart in that manner was against regulations again getting mad at the

wrong thing and why is this guy like too much time on his time look 74 years old you're probably done with your whatever your life is. You think these guys give a shit about the rules? They don't even care. They're gathering right now. They're golfing in the end of April, at the beginning of May. They don't care about your cart on the green rules. They're playing golf today.

Why do you care? Yeah. Why do you care? They don't care about their own lives as opposed to the eighth hole signature conservatory course green. Yeah. They're going to drive their carts up and down right up to the flag.

They're probably going to putt while sitting down in the car. Drive by a game of like a golf cart polo. That's what it is. Not even stand up. I guarantee you they're going to do that. Yeah. Or then allegedly went into his home

and grabbed a firearm and pointed it at the six golfers, each of whom said they were in fear of their lives. That had to be a good feeling, though, for Orr, because he's like, I tried. I was nice. They didn't listen. Now I'm going to point it at him. I'm kind of on his side here,

except he's mad about the wrong thing. Firearm brandished by Orr, cops charged was a Winchester BB gun rifle. A Winchester BB gun? Is that a thing? I thought Winchester was a Winchester BB gun rifle. A Winchester BB gun? Is that a thing? I thought Winchester was a guy from MASH. Why does he have a BB gun? What is he, seven years old in 1952?

I don't get it. Yeah, it is an odd thing. He wants to look tough. Yeah, but he doesn't want to actually do damage. He doesn't want to actually kill someone. Look, I'd rather it was a BB gun than a regular gun. It could cause a very large under cause a well it could cause a very lodge under the skin and cause a very bad infection shoots him in the butt vacation the truth is that

like there is no way that no one has ever uh had a mass shooting with a bb gun so i'm okay with this guy owning this yeah bb guns are all right we're all right with that in the video and photos taken by one of the golfers, Orr is reportedly seen holding the weapon in an upright shooting position toward the golfer. During the police questioning though, Orr said that the golfers had drove their golf cart onto the bridge. Had they drove it on there? And putting green, they did. You mean they had driven? Yes, they had drove it over there. Again, course rules should be that no one should be playing golf right now. That's course rules. Not don't drive it up on the thing be that no one should be playing golf right now. That's course rules. Not don't drive it up on the thing, but no one should be playing.

That solves all the problems we have here. If you are not allowed to play golf right now. Or said that after arguing with the golfers, he went inside to his home and unsuccessfully sought to contact the course's golf rangers. There is no way he called the ranger at that point. Probably the ranger was at home because you're not supposed to be working right now. Right. You're saying that the ranger wasn't at work.

Right. Because no one should be at work right now. No one's at work. And then also, yeah, that wasn't your first option. I'm sorry. Or then said that- I'm sorry. You know why I know that's not your first option?

Because in the time it takes them to drive over the thing and get to the thing- And putt. They'd be gone. They're gone. So you went in, you went in you went in you're lying you're lying through your dumb 74 year old floor floridian teeth or said that through the three teeth you have left he said then he went inside with his got his air rifle and continued the verbal altercation asked if he had held the

rifle in an upright shooting position or aimed down the sights towards anyone or replied that he could not remember. Meaning that he totally did. That means he told. I can't remember. That means you did. That's 100% code for a yes. I did that. I don't recall.

I can't remember our code for it. This is what I'm going to say to, to get myself out of incriminating myself. But 100% I remember. And 100% I did. 100% I didn't. He also could not recall his intentions when retrieving the rifle. You know.

Yeah. Oh, I don't know what was going on. Only that he did not appreciate the way the golfers were shouting back at him and his wife. So now his wife's involved. Yeah. She's like, don't throw me under the bus.

I gotta protect my wife here. Couldn't remember his intentions. By the way, this did not happen in the 1960s. Yeah. This isn't like a few days ago. Remember that guy you faced down at the Korean War? No, we don't remember that. How many times do you pull a BB

gun on golfers that this is a blur from all the other times you used to do that? How am I supposed to remember that? This is like three days ago. How many times do people drive up on the 8th green? This is like five days ago. I can't be expected to remember that. Maybe he's got a memory issue, all right? Who knows. After Orr turned over the BB rifle to the

police, he was arrested on multiple counts of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. Is that a deadly weapon? I don't think it is. Is it with the intent to kill and a felony that should be perpetrating a deadly weapon? But still, I kind of like... A BB gun is not a deadly weapon. That can't be true that it's a deadly weapon. But still, I kind of like

that they're giving it to him. It's like, we're going to hold you up as an example. He was booked in the county jail from which he was released on Saturday afternoon upon posting bond. They should have made him fill out all of his paperwork with a tiny pencil with no eraser. Yes. Just to kind of stick it to him just a little bit. A little golf reminder. A little golf reminder.

And no glasses. Like an old man, 74 years old, has to read all the forms. All the paperwork and fill it out on your own. Figure it out. No help. And if you do it wrong, you start over again. You go back in jail. Go back in jail and you start over on the paper.

Start over on the thing. And you have to watch people drive up and down the course. Yeah. There it is. There you go. That's a show, you guys. I hope you enjoyed it. We love bringing it to you day in and day out. Tell your friends about this show. Go's a show, you guys. I hope you enjoyed it. We love bringing it to you day in and day out. Tell your friends about this show. Go punch a water faucet, then go wash your hands. Stay socially distanced, but stay connected.

We got more musicians. Thank you to the musicians who have... Thank you to Langhorne Slim who dropped a video a couple days ago. We're reaching out to other musicians to put some video. Give you guys some live music. It's something I definitely miss in this quarantine, getting to see our friends play music and getting to see live music. Uh, it's something I definitely miss in this quarantine, getting to see our friends play music and getting to see live music. So we're going to bring that to you as well.

Uh, we've got great stuff coming this week. We're not stopping. We're not stopping. We're bringing it to you because we love you guys. And we'll see you tomorrow. We're out. La-di-da.

La-di-da-di-da-di-da. La-di-da-da-da. In my car