Dumb People Town - Sklarbro Country Monday - Set an Example

Episode Date: May 11, 2020

Happy Monday Sklarboro Country listeners. We all know wearing covid-19 masks aren't comfortable but necessary. the Sklar Brothers start with a story with one politicians excuse for not wearing a facemask to "You gotta go" status. Story number 2 is about a city commisioner in Michigan who has gone off the rails.

Star Beans, I'm here. Hey guys, welcome to another episode of Skybro Country, the virus edition, aka the panty pods. Aka two guys switch positions. Okay, aka two men, one Afghan. Aka two men, one Afghan. A.K.A. two men, one salmon. Okay. A.K.A. two Wolverines, one Sclarantine. We are on different sides of the couch. We just thought we'd switch it up. Why not?

Every once in a while, you gotta put your hand across the aisle and go to a new place. That's right. And we want to, we're about to, we're recording this on Friday, we're about to do our live stand-up show for JFL, which we're starting to do our live stand-up show for JFL, which we're starting to do every Friday. So check that out.

That's on the JFL Just for Laughs Facebook page. And on the YouTube page. We got great comics coming up, friends of ours who are going to do it. So we'll be hosting that. That's super fun. So we want to get this in before we do that. So let's jump right in, shall we, Jay?

All right, look, no one ever wants to wear a mask. By the way, that's not a partisan issue. No, it's common sense. Look, I'll throw on my mask right now and I'll show you. It's uncomfortable, right? It sucks. I love my mask. I think it's fantastic. This is not convenient. No, we get it. This is not a convenient part of my life. But this is what we're going to have to do when we go out until we get a vaccine. That's just the way it goes. That's right. It's not foolproof and it's annoying.

This is how we're mitigating the damage of the thing without a vaccine. So when our stupid vice president shows up at the Mayo Clinic without a mask on or our stupid president shows up at a mask making factory where every three feet there's a sign that says you must wear a mask and he doesn't he wears some kareem abdul-jabbar glasses looking like a dipshit then you know this is gonna divide along party lines yeah and it's gonna be the kind it's like a rorschach test right it's like it's like a horse shack test right anyone who looks at this is like this is a infringement on my civil liberties. Hey, you know what else is an infringement on your civil liberties? Death.

Yeah. Death ends up restricting your civil liberties. Yeah, exactly. So look, by the way, what do you lose by setting an example for people? That's what I thought the same thing when I saw Trump at the thing. And look, we're not trying to make this political, but when you do something dumb, we got to point it out. That's right. What do you have to lose to put a mask on?

Nothing. I don't love it. I don't love wearing a mask. But you could set an example, and millions of dummies could put on masks to make it safer for me. What if you hate dummies? I don't care if you kill each other, and I don't care if you kill yourself because you're too stubborn to wear a mask, but the second you walk around and don't wear a mask and it affects me and my children, why don't you make America great again masks, you dummy?

You could make so much money. So we've got a new excuse from a Republican official that, in my opinion, Randy, takes the cake. In the pantheon of dumb excuses of why i'm not gonna wear a mask this one literally takes the cake and shoves it in our masked faces it's a new low it's a ralph nader if you will republican ohio state representative and i didn't put ohio state next to each other on purpose but yeah representative nino vitale nino hey it's a nino vitale hey heino, hey. Hey, it's Nino Vitale. Hey, he took it to Facebook.

I'm not even going to call him Vital. Hey, you took it to Facebook. You took it to Facebook. I put a U-Face in a book. Of course, I take it to the face of the book. I put a U-Face. You think, I would have thought he would have put this thing on TikTok. That's all I'm saying.

Exactly. So he took to Facebook to say that despite the potential dangers of coronavirus and its ability to spread quickly. So I'm glad he acknowledges that. He's refusing to wear a mask covering his face because it hides the image of God. No. No, it does not. No, it does not. It hides your ugly ass face, which, by the way, put the mask on.

I need a fatali uh so i'm guessing he doesn't ever want his little kids to get face paint unless it's black unless it's blackface that's the only paint that he's gonna allow do your kids do halloween yeah that's that's a temporary mask covering the image of god i guess you don't let your kids celebrate halloween get out of here you're a liar and you're a fraud, Nino Vitale. That's right. And you made our list of people. You got to go. You got to go. You're done.

You got to go. Why should an innocent person die because you think you have the face of God? You don't. Why should an innocent person die when you're ready to meet God? You're ready, dude. You should be the one. Yeah, exactly. So he opposed his governors.

There's a Republican governor who put it out there. Like, we're going to make a mandate that you wear a mask. And then a bunch of people came back to him. He's like, all right, well, we can't mandate it. We're going to walk that back. And we're not going to mandate that you wear the mask. So he's going up against the governor. And he used the masks don't work hashtag.

If you hate Nino now and i know that a lot of you guys hate him now just wait till you hear this dummy's you are gonna hate him so much more first quote this is not the entire world he wrote what what does that mean yeah it is the entire world you mean a global pandemic is not the entire world yeah that is i guess he's saying the entire world hasn't died yet from corona no No, but the entire world has been affected. I've actually never seen anything in our lifetime affect the entire world like this. Right. So I don't think there's been anything that has been so global.

Yeah. So yes, it is the entire world. You dip shit. This is next quote. This is the greatest nation on earth founded on Judeo-Christian principles. Don't drag the Jews down. That's right. We're Jews. We're not in your dump thing. Don't take us in there. We wear masks. Yeah, exactly. on earth founded on judeo-christian principles don't drag the jews that's right that's we're

jews we're not in your dump don't take us in there down wear masks yeah exactly we wear masks to synagogue don't yeah we wear i'll zoom a bar mitzvah if i have to that's right i'm gonna zoom a bar mitzvah on the 16th of may i'll i'll zoom a goddamn bris if i gotta so he went on to write one okay one of those principles, the Judeo-Christian principles of which he speaks, is that we are all created in the image and likeness of God. That image is seen the most by our face. So I have an idea. By our face? Wait, that's not even right. No. You aren't even making your dumb argument right, you dummy. Right. So the image is seen most by our face? So here's what I'm trying to say.

The image is seen the most in our faces. Say it right, you dipshit. Say it right. Here's what I say. Why don't you just get a mask with a picture of your face on it? Yeah. And then put that over your face. You can't even write your dumb thoughts down right.

If it's so important that your image image that you think is what God's image of a human being should be, get a mask with your face on it. Done. He also wrote, we think about the image and likeness of God. We don't. I don't. I rarely think of the image in the face of God. I never, ever, I've never been walking down, I've never been shopping, never been walking down the street and said to myself, you know what I'm thinking? In a quiet moment, I'm just going to think of the image of God. Hey, if I did think of the image of God, it would be you wearing a mask right now. We're created in the image and likeness of God. How do you know that? How do you know that we're created in the image and likeness of God? You're basing it on someone else writing that down?

By the way, what if the image and likeness of God is just a- To wear a mask. What if God's wearing a mask right now? What if the image and likeness of God is just a... To wear a mask. What if God's wearing a mask right now? What if the image and likeness of God is just your outline? So it's like just a shadow. So it's the outline of your body. So you can't really see the details of the face, but just a general man. Or woman. Yeah.

He continued. When we think of image, do we think of chest or legs or arms? Yeah, I do. Yeah. That is image of a man. Image of a man. Whole body. I think of all or legs or arms? Yeah, I do. Yeah. That is image of a man. Image of a man. Whole body. I think of all those things.

Whole body. We think of face. Who is we? Why are you grouping me into your dumb post? And why are you talking like you're losing every article in your sentence? Like you're a- We think of face. We think of face.

What are you? We think of face. Are you trying to do a racist no like mass right are you trying to do a racist version of a native american because that i wouldn't throw past you either also by the way in case you didn't want to know a little bit more of you know vittalia an elected official by the way he also posted a conspiracy theory on his campaign facebook page early in april saying Bill Gates, quote, wants to lock us down and profit by charging us for mandatory vaccinations.

Nope. That's not what he's doing. The Post also falsely claims that Gates chose not to vaccinate his own kids. He did. He vaccinated his kids. And this idiot got elected. Yep.

So to Nino Vitale, we say, don't wear a mask. Don't. Tell all your dumb followers who elected you and got you into office say don't wear a mask don't tell all your dumb followers who elected you and got you into office don't wear a mask none of them have a big party celebrating your freedom you can serve clorox cocktails drink up right drink up you are everything that is wrong in this world right now it is so clear it's almost like you know, the pandemic is horrible, and I'm sad that people have died, but it has certainly simplified things a lot, and it has made things so clear to me. That's right.

You are wrong. You are the wrong... Don't hide behind your religion to not wear a mask. Don't. Because isn't your religion be kind to others and do nice things for others? Do unto others as you would have them do unto yourself. So don't give them a disease. That's maybe doing nice unto others. How about you don't pass it along? Yeah. Or you know what? In this case, at this point, you can't be helped. So don't wear a mask.

If for some reason you sadly get the coronavirus and a ventilator comes up, I would say, this guy doesn't want it. Because if he has a mask on his face like a ventilator, that's covering the image of God. Don't give it to him. We don't want to disrupt his image of God. God forbid for even a minute. I know. We lose sight of this image of God. Let him rest peacefully.

We're just going to let him just rest this one out. Rest in peace, Nino Vitale. Rest in peace, bro. Alright, let's take a break. Let's take a break. Shall we take a break? I'm into it. We come back on the other side of this thing. We got one more crazy story. And it involves a city planning commissioner. Once again! What is going on?

This is Sklodbro Country, the virus edition. So happy you're along with us. We'll see you on the other side. Go! You gotta let the jello say Danny said Hey guys, welcome back to the show. I want to mention we have this YouTube page that I love so much

that we've got so much great content on. We've been putting all sorts of new stuff up on there. I love, I'm watching the numbers go up so people are watching the stand-up videos. You're watching old episodes of Cheap Seats. I love that. Kind of getting ramped up into it. And we keep putting new ones up there every day.

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All of the stuff on there. I really love it. Found a bunch of treasure trove of old stand-up and things like that. We'll throw that up there too. It'll just be good for a laugh. So check that out. YouTube. celebrity country uh rate and review this podcast as well on itunes just take a moment and rate it and review it give it five stars you can say this podcast sucks five stars we're okay with that yeah uh thank you for doing that thank you for listening this and i'm glad that it's growing shall we jump into another story

do the last story of the day it's been a bad time these days for city commissioners in these times of corona. City planners, city commissioners, the whole bunch. The commissioners and city planners of this world seem to be the ones who are going off the rails the most. Why is that? I think it's because they're

feeling a lot of pressure. They're having to plan for cities that are no longer the cities. They usually have a plan, and there is no plan right now. Well, we're in a precarious place. We're past their plans, and that's why they're going off the rails. So do you want to hear a story about a city commissioner in Royal Oak, Michigan? Which is a suburb just outside of Detroit. It's kind of a cool area.

Mark Ridley's Comedy Castle is there. Very cool. Lots of cool restaurants and things there. Okay, so this is a city commissioner from Royal Oak who has gone off the rails. Kim Gibbs. Kim Gibbs! Who has been in the news recently for participating in

protests against the governor's stay-at-home order in Lansing. So great! She is now... By the way, I bet she doesn't even believe in it. I bet someone told her, hey, if you do this, enough of your constituents who are angry are going to vote you in again. No. someone told her, hey, if you do this, enough of your constituents who are angry are going to vote you in again. That's how you get voted in. She doesn't even believe in it. But she knows the difficulty of being an elected official. One of the hardest jobs of

being an elected official is having to tell your constituents to do something that is unpopular, but for their own good. Well, it's so funny because it's like in middle school or in high school, if you walk to the if you're running for class president you're like there's gonna be soda fountains and there's gonna be a slip and slide from the library all the way down to the it's bullshit none of that stuff is ever gonna get made but you're just making the promises that people want to hear the people who step in and be like hey listen guys we have to study hard yeah we Yeah. We'll do our best to get better lunch. You lose.

You lose if you tell the truth. Sometimes you have to make unpopular decisions for the good of the community. Sometimes you know better than the most vocal, stupidest parts of your community and you have to stand up. You're the elected official. You were elected.

Wait, your kids, if your children wanted to, they would be on their iPhones and their devices and they would eat ice for every meal, and they would stay up until 2 in the morning. You know better than them. You have to step in and be like, you can do it until 1230. And yet, this gal is out protesting with the rest of the mouth breathers in Lansing. That's bad enough. If that was all she did, that's bad enough. She can, on her Twitter

and Facebook page, lament how she wishes the government would reopen and offer a unique inside perspective to the safest and most effective way to do that.

If she wants to do that, I'm all on board with that. Yes. If she didn't feel like she was being heard, that's a great thing to do. But to protest without a mask, gather when she should have been gathering. Without a mask. That's the part. I don't know if she didn't have a mask on, thing to do but to protest without a mask gather when

she should be without a mask that's the part i don't know if she didn't have a mask on but i'm gonna assume that she didn't she didn't even if she had a mask on you're gathering when you shouldn't be gathering okay again it's like she doesn't know how government works maybe she's a commissioner in name alone jay a figurehead royal oak commissioner yeah possibly well now she has to apologize to the community you thought thought that was bad enough. That could have been just a whole story right there. Absolutely not. It ends up making the protest thing not seem like a fluke. Right now, she has to apologize to the community for something else she did that was stupid,

making the protest, again, Jay, seem like it was part of a larger plan. Yes, of course. Or a larger issue. More like, this is who this dummy is. As opposed to, that was a fluke. And yes, the protest was one moment of bad judgment. So Gibbsy is apologizing now for shoplifting at a local store. The incident happened May 6th at a local Meijer.

Meijer? We used to study at Meijer. So there was a Meijer nearby where we were in Ann Arbor, Michigan. And when all the library stalls were taken and people were already studying for finals. Well, around finals, it would get so busy at school. It got a little intense. So we would go to Meijer, and it was open all night. We would stay in the snack bar.

We'd get super jacked up on slushies. On Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew and slushies, just huge, just free refills. And we'd just be eating bulk food and drinking Mountain Dew and writing review sheets and studying. Around 3 in the morning, we would go crazy. We'd go down in the store, put on the camouflage gear and pick up unloaded crossbows and chase each other around the store. It was pretty magical. It was special. It was a good time. But we never took anything. Meyer is the type of place that just for people who don't know, you buy groceries, school supplies, crossbows, hunting gear, outdoor

lawn furniture. you can get an eye test you get a pap smear is it is it a shmear is it a shmear like a shmear of cream cheese i think it's a pap smear i think it's smear i think it's smear for jews it's shmear right for non-jews it's a pap smear that makes sense it was the type of place where one time i got a proctology exam actually that was just someone in the parking lot in an unmarked van who stuck his thumb up my ass. But anyway, that was an old joke of ours. Huge Myers. Huge Meyer.

They called it Thrifty Acres. Acres. That's how big it is. Thrifty Acre. It's like bigger than a Costco. Yeah. Or about the same size as a Costco. Yeah, it's like Costco-esque, but it's not Costco.

You don't get the same acreage so gibsy's attorney charles some semchena jr released a statement on gibbs we have saying that the commissioner made quote a serious indiscretion which was brought on by stress due to the backlash from her attendance at the lansing protest and the snowball effect it had on her. What the fuck? Okay. You're blaming the backlash for something you did? She's stressed because she decided to protest like an idiot. Nobody put a gun to your head

and told you that you need to protest this. So you went out and you did that and now you're blaming backlash at you for your dumb decision for your next dumb decision? So nobody kidnapped your children and then said it's not kidnapped it's kidnapped nobody kidnapped your children and said if you don't protest you're not going to see your kids ever again no this was a stupid decision that

you made on your own and it showed your own irresponsibility totally understandable backlash yeah against this person people who are like like, hey, you know what? We'd like to be safe, and we'd like to wait till science tells us it's okay to come back out in the world, because I don't want to see my elder family members die, or me die. So that totally checks out that you would be stressed about that. Yeah, let her off the hook, guys. Yeah, she stole because she was forced to steal by all those bad people who criticized her. That's a great point.

That is a very salient point. Semchena says, Gibbs, who initially was asked by Royal Oak Mayor Michael Fournier to step down, but was ultimately censured by the board, has not been able to work, and hasn't received an unemployment check. Hang on a second. She should have been asked to step down. She was just censured. I don't has not been able to work and hasn't received an unemployment check. Hang on a second. She should have been asked to step down. Yeah.

She was just censured. I don't even know what that means. That means it's just like suspended or something. She should have been fired. Her attorney says that her appearance on the April 15th protest

has led Gibbs constant stress, anxiety, depression, and inability to sleep. How about the risk you put the policemen and women who were guarding the Capitol?

I guarantee you she was not wearing a mask. I'm going to guarantee that she wasn't. And by the way, they're not sleeping because idiots like you yelled in their faces without masks on. And so now they could potentially be sick. They're the ones who should be stressed. So sorry that your dumb decision has led to so much grief and anxiety for you. Gibbs released an apology, which you know will not be a correct apology. It'll be the most non-apology you've ever heard. I'm going to read this.

I would like to apologize to my family, friends, and especially my constituents for my substantial lapse in judgment on Wednesday. You mean the time that you committed a felony or the time that you were protesting illegally? A combination, May 6th, a combination of many external factors.

External, which means you're not taking responsibility. I'm going to take zero responsibility. Led me to taking items from the Meijer store without paying for all of them. So in there, she's like, but I paid for some of them. So I'm not a total. I didn't pay for all of them. So that should let me off the hook. That is not a full apology.

No. That isn't even a half apology. That's like a 30% apology. An apology, you imbecile, goes like this. I'm sorry for being irresponsible and attending that rally and then going and doing something equally stupid like shoplifting. I am not fit to lead anymore. I'm especially not fit to be leading my constituents. I'm sorry. I'm stepping down to do the first good thing that I've done in weeks to set an example who's ever made a couple of dumb mistakes like I made in their lives.

That's an apology right there. That's it. That is it. That's what you said. The economic impact of COVID-19 statewide lockdown has taken a serious toll on me personally. Really? Oh, you're the only one too.

But like you- Tell us what it's like for you because there's no way we can relate. And like you, everyone's gone out and shoplifted as a result of that stress. Yes. I obviously was not thinking clearly and I take shoplifted as a result of that stress. Yes. I obviously was not thinking clearly, and I take full responsibility for my actions. You don't. You don't. Recently, I chose between insulin and food, and I chose the insulin,

which helps me stay alive. However- Boo hoo. That left the extraordinarily- Oh, we're supposed to feel bad for you? That left extraordinarily little money for food after paying for medical insurance and insulin. That feels like a backtrack. So you meant to steal. Oh, by the way, you know what could have helped you pay for insulin?

Universal health care, which I'm assuming you're against because you're an asshole. All right? You staunchly are against. Thanks to the support of family and friends, I'm now being treated by medical professionals for these issues. And my type 1 diabetes, and I look forward to get back to you. Does your type 1 diabetes look forward to getting back to things as normal? We don't look forward to you coming back. So again, not taking full responsibility, blaming on blood sugar, blaming on diabetes, way to take the high road. You're good at taking things, I guess. She is good at taking things. She took the high road,

she probably didn't pay for it. I deeply regret any issue or concern this has caused for my supporters. I have realized- You don't have any supporters anymore. As I have been told by friends that I need and am seeking help. I love that you couldn't figure out your friends had to tell you that. Because they think you're a klepto. That was a word we used a lot in high school.

Becky Falkenberry was a klepto because she stole Jodi Glassman's Forenza sweater. Remember that? Darcy Schuessler's Forenza sweater. If anybody's got a Forenza Sweater, send it our way. I know that my opponent in November and the city commission will turn this incident into more partisan politics. However, kicking people when they're down should not be condoned by anyone. Yeah, because you participating in a dangerous rally and then stealing something from a mire should be off limits when discussing whether or not you are fit to lead, you dummy.

I'd be afraid to kick you when I'm down because I think you'd steal my shoe way to get in front of it by the way although uh we can't we can't see what you're doing like you should be held accountable there there should be one question from the debate from the debate stage who on this stage has stole something from a mire raise your hand raise your hand and if you do under oath we have our new planning commissioner michiganers and people around the country are suffering with the economic and personal pain covet has brought to every one of us we need now more than ever to stand together as americans and get back working so others do not face the same health consequences i'm facing hey don't bring americans into your thing right here you're a a klepto. Action 7 News reached out

to the police regarding the incident and is waiting a response. I'm sure they're whipping up a killer response and they're going to put it on Facebook because the cops are like your uncle. They throw it up on Facebook whenever they can. And you know what? Once it goes on Facebook, you can share it, but you can't steal it.

That's right. You can't steal it. Hope you had a great weekend. You're charging in the next week. Punch a water faucet. Wash your hands. Stay socially distanced, but stay connected. Don't get infected. And we will see you tomorrow. In my car