Dumb People Town - Tim Murray - When The Ocean Meets The Sky

Episode Date: August 26, 2022

This week Tim Murray comes to town to hang with Daniel, Randy and Jason. This week's story is about a lost watch at Epcot that leads to bigger trouble.

Skypains Avenue Hey townies, welcome to a Friday episode of Dumb People Town. Population you. Population Murray. Tim Murray. Welcome to the show. How are you doing'm good thanks so much for having me most glorious mullet i've seen in days do you like in years rushing it's so good our friend's son got bar mitzvahed recently and i was and he had a great mullet and i was like oh they're back they're back they're back baby i wasn't they're very like a gay thing right now. Is it a gay thing right now?

It's a very gay thing right now. Really? Wow. But I was in like a very kind of scarier part of, I went to a Rod Stewart concert in the middle of nowhere in Ohio. Wow. And it was just like a lot of kind of hillbilly white people.

Non-gay, non-ironic. Non-gay approval? Non-ironic mullets. Organic. Organic mullets. Did you ever get from a dude who wasn't trying to pick you up, like, nice. Nice mullet. The whole time.

All day. The whole time they were like, your mullet's awesome. I was like, it's not that kind of mullet. Yeah, not that kind of mullet. But, thank you. Thank you. I'll take it. I'll take it.

I'll take the compliment from any corner. Because you're like, if somebody, that's like somebody who knows a shit ton about cars, seeing your car and being like, I like it. And you're like, well, I'm not a car enthusiast, but thank you. So I will say this. As a straight man, if I get a compliment on my looks from a gay man, I – It means a little more. It means a little more.

I take it. I'm like, yeah. It's like such a confidence boost. I'm like, yeah, thanks. I mean, we're not going to do anything about it, but thank you. God bless it. I'm going all the way around. I'm being seen right now.

The other way around is like a loving moment. By the way, it doesn't happen all the time. I'm making it sound like it happens all the time. It doesn't. But once in a while, I get it because there's a twin fantasy for a lot of people. You guys are very handsome. Thank you. I'll give it to you.

Thank you. I know you weren't listening. Taking it. All right, you guys want to do a story? Let's do a story. Let's jump into it. The world's getting dumber. You know how it goes.

Everything's dumb. He's been to a Rod Stewart concert. He knows the world's getting dumber. He knows how dumb the world is. Where the ocean meets the sky, I'll be dumb. Okay. Damn. I want to give you my love touch.

Legal Eagles, anyone? Okay, all right. Who you gonna get a, who you gonna get a big love touch? All right, this was sent in by Elise at E.E. LeBlanc. Elise LeBlanc. Oh, Elise LeBlanc. I know. We love this gal.

She's so great. Came to all of our online shows. She's wonderful. Guest, here's the headline. Guest drops Apple Watch on Epcot ride. It gets worse. I mean, why are you holding your Apple Watch? Can't wait to go on this Epcot ride.

Let me hold my watch up like this by the fairy corner. I'm not going to strap everything in and take it in, but I'm just going to dangle it from my thumb on Space Mountain. Have any of you lost anything on a ride ever, like a carnival or dropped anything? I grew up next to Cedar Point Amusement Park,

the greatest amusement park in the world. And so we would always just walk and look at all the stuff that had been dropped, like horses and hats. It's like a fountain for dummies. It's like amusement park 101. Yes. Put your head off. But now they give you a locker as you're getting on the ride.

This is what rides are. I've seen those too, yeah. Put it in the locker and you go, all right, I'll see you in a minute. So my daughter is going to celebrate her, I don't know when this drops, she will have already celebrated it on August 4th, her 15th birthday. And that is the thing I'm going to tell her when we're recording this on. Where are you going? She's going to Magic Mountain with her Six Flags with her friends because she loves roller coasters.

Water park and amusement or just amusement? I do both. You could do the whole thing. She may, but she's – I don't know. We'll see how hot it is or what she's going to do. That is the thing that I'm going to tell her when she walks out the thing. Put your phone away. Fanny pack it.

Either fanny pack it or put it away to where it can. Smart people town, like hack, life hack. Sure, okay. My son's friend. Greg. I'm going to give this kid so much credit. Give him the love. This kid, Daniel, brought a walking boot for his right foot.

No. He does not have a hurt foot. Why do you have a walking boot? He walked right in front of him and he's like, I need, we need fast passes for me and my friend. And he's like,

I'll tolerate walking in this walking boot. It's not even that bad all day. They got fast passes. They walk past everybody. He's faked a foot injury. They walk past the fast pass people because they went through like the injury line. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The handicap. Yeah. I was like, I need these guys for emotional support. Wait, why are we doing this? Just him. Oh my God. The handicap. Yeah. I was like, dude. I need these guys for emotional support. Wait, why are we doing this? Just him and... Oh, my God.

He said we ran on like 21 rides in the first seven hours. They had to take a break. It was too many rides. Too many rides. Oh, my. Incredible. Anyway, so unbelievable. So this person dropped an Apple Watch and then it got worse.

Yes, a woman lost her watch on a ride at Epcot. Have any of you... Have you done Epcot? Oh, yeah, baby. Have you? Yes, we've been, but I. Did you drink around the world? No. I drank around the world and I was the sickest I've ever been

in my life. Because it's not just the alcohol. There's so many ingredients having a party. The sun too. The sun in Orlando. It's all exposed. You're exposed the whole time going around the world. I was the kind of sick after that where you purge it, and then you're like, that didn't

help at all. No, I'm still sick. Horrible. It should help. There's always somebody who's trying to drink on the world who ends up trying to climb up that Mayan castle. What do you call it? I don't know.

It's like a Mayan pyramid. That's hard to say. I don't know. Where's David? Oh, my God. He's all the way up the ziggurat tower. It always happens. If you YouTube it, just people climbing the Mayan pyramid.

Temple, the temple. Yes, it's wild. Okay, a woman lost her watch on a ride at Epcot last month. The innocent mistake cost more than she thought it would. Here's what happened. According to the report from the Orange County Sheriff's Office, the woman was fidgeting with her Apple Watch while she rode the slow-moving The Seas with Nemo and Friends attraction.

Now, this is similar to Haunted Mansion, but not even that crazy. It's like the Little Mermaid ride at Disneyland, where you're just sitting there and you're going through very slowly. It's a great ride. Maybe there's one little dip that goes down. I'll tell you, if you're drinking around the world, this ride is a good change of pace. Get some AC, be in the dark, take a quick little nap. Is it like Pirates of the Caribbean?

No, that's even way more intense. I did get stuck on that ride one time. You did, right. Wait, where are you going, though? Caribbean or Caribbean? When you say it. I say Caribbean. Caribbean.

There we go. Do you know that Johnny Depp one time was dressed as... He snuck into the ride. Snuck into the ride. Pirates of the Caribbean. Well, I mean, obviously they let him. Walked out to all the people and then sued Amber Hearduck into the ride. Snuck into the ride. Well, I mean, obviously they let him. Walked out to all the people and then sued Amber Heard.

On that ride. Sorry, countersuiter. Countersuiter. Countersuiter. Allegedly. Although he did. She took a shit on the ride.

He's the type of guy that would just start, just ride the ride just to see what people would think. Yeah. In character. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So,

it's a very slow pace ride and a great break if you ever are drinking around the world. The woman fidgeting with her Apple Watch. Where was I? Fidgeting with the Apple Watch. The ride was in the elevated position. I don't remember it never not

being that. I guess. I don't know. The woman said at the worst possible time, the watch popped off her wrist. It didn't pop off. No. She didn't put it properly back on. You're fidgeting with it, which you shouldn't be doing.

Okay. Yeah, but it can't, like, don't be in a hurry. No. Right? Also, fix it later. Right. Be present in the moment.

Enjoy the ride. Thank you. Be present on the ride. You waited so long to get on this ride, and you're now going to just now do something else? We got to be dealing with technology on a ride? What do you have to deal with? I'm going to try my best.

The Apple Hermes. Hermes? Hermes. H-E-R Hermes. Hermes. Hermes. Hermes. Do we know?

None of us know. I have no idea. I know what it is. I'm pronouncing it right. It's Hermes. Hermes? Yeah. H-E-R-M-E-S.

With the little umplot or whatever.'s Hermes. Hermes? Yeah. H-E-R-M-E-S. With the little umplot or whatever. Hermes. It's definitely not an umplot. But you knew what I meant. That's Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. That was like those little people in Willy Wonka. This tastes like strawberries. Umplot, umplot, umplot.

The Apple Hermes watch fell through the graded floor on the ride. It tumbled down and landed on a pathway below. The woman could see her watch, but it was just out of reach while she was floor on the ride. It tumbled down and landed on a pathway below. The woman could see her watch, but it was just out of reach while she was stuck on the ride. So she said, I'm going to climb down and get it. Enter her husband, who jumped off the moving ride to try and retrieve it, but that's a big no-no at Walt Disney World.

Operators stopped the ride momentarily. A cast member came over and reminded the woman and her husband they were not allowed to get off the ride while in motion. She stopped her watch. The cast member assured them she could see the watch too, and Disney would return it to them at their hotel. The woman was stressed because the watch alone is valued at how much money? If it's Hermes, that's like super expensive.

Well, let's get our guesses in. How much do you think the watch is valued at? $400? Okay, $400. I think it's like $3,000. get our guesses in. Tim Murray, what do you think? How much do you think the watch is valued at? $400? Okay, $400. I think it's like $3,000. $3,000. I think like $7,000. $7,000.

Hermes is expensive for an Apple watch. Because it's the band, right? Yeah, the Hermes band. The leather band. Oh, maybe it's like $2,500. Okay, that's where you're staying at? Yeah. Okay, we're going to take a quick break.

When we come back, we will find out how much this watch is worth and what happened. Oh, my gosh. And we'll find out how you can support Tim Murray and all that great stuff. We'll be right back after this. Stick around. Make a sound. There's more at Don't People Town. Hey, guys.

Welcome back to the show. Tim Murray is with us. Tim Murray is with us. Tim Murray is with us. We'll get into what he's doing, as we always are going to continue to do. If you want to support Randy and me and Daniel by proxy, because he was involved in writing this show, go to UFC's YouTube page and watch and leave a comment. The nosebleeds.

Thumb it up. That is our newest show. Share it with friends. Leave a nice comment. And if you love the show, join UFC Fight Pass. Subscribe to it and tell them how much you love it so you can watch the other five episodes that we did.

And you can watch The Ultimate Fighter, which is one of the greatest reality series ever. We love it. If you're not a gigantic UFC fan, you can join for a month and see how it feels. You'll have a chance to watch everything and watch the other five episodes. They truly are,

I think, six of the best episodes of anything we've ever made so it's a great way to support us. Also, we're doing this show live, live Dumb People Town.

It's out there, guys. It's going to be in Nashville on October 13th at the Hutton, at the Analog Theater at the Hutton Hotel. On the 14th, we're going to be in Chicago

at the Den Theater with a stand-up show as a part of it later that night. And then on the 16th that Sunday night we'll be at the Bell House in Brooklyn

with Andrew Dismukes Roy Wood Jr. Cutworms is the band we always sell out I don't know if all those links are live but as soon as they are they'll be up on

danielvenker.com and superscrollers.com so come check those out there's going to be just bad shows I don't know when this drops I think it's the end of the month so Dan has probably

already done his Blue Whale I'm going to do your dates for you. Dan has already done the Blue Whale comedy tour. He's already hosted the Red Bull raft making. He's also a headline at the Addison Improv. Yep. What?

What's happening? It's this weekend. It's this weekend? All this stuff is happening this weekend when this drops. So it hasn't happened yet. So it hasn't happened yet. So go check out all of that stuff. And then he'll be at the Addison Improv.

Then he'll be at the Honolulu Comedy Club and that's the 8th, 9th, and 10th of September and then of course check him out in October with us when he's hanging with us doing our shows let's talk about Tim Murray

how can people find you and see you and see the stuff that you do you can come find me at I'm playing Louisville Nashville Columbus and I'm going to play

Seattle November 17th because of a venue that I heard you guys talking about The Crocodile I'm going Louisville, Nashville, Columbus, and I'm going to play Seattle November 17th because of a venue that I heard you guys talking about, The Crocodile. Oh, my God. The coolest. You're going to love it. I'm so excited. You're going to love it.

Where are you in Louisville and all those places? In Louisville, I'm at the Bardstown. At Nashville, I'm at Third Coast Comedy. And in Columbus, I'm at Shadowbox Live. Nice. So these are like performance spaces like about what? Like 100? Around 100. Great. Perfect. Great these are like performance spaces like about what like a hundred around a hundred.

Great. Great rooms. Great rooms. And you're booking that stuff yourself. That's awesome. And rolling through it. What's the website?

You can find it on my Instagram at Teamery06. Awesome. Teamery06. And go for the most glorious mullet you'll ever see.

You'll thank us for that. Stay for the comedy. Come for the mullet. Stay for the comedy. I love that mullet. Stay for the comedy. I love that. When I buy an Apple Watch, I just keep the thing they give you.

Because I know that I'm never going to switch it out. Dan, I got a new band. Do you switch out? No, but I got a new band because my last one was annoying the hell out of me

and I snapped it and I broke it. But do you think you'll ever take the time on a fancy occasion to switch that out? No, this is a magnet. Do you switch yours out?

Yours is nice. No, mine's like a nice thing, but I do look's got a fitbit i don't i don't need a hundred bucks 100 bucks yeah i mean hermes hermes this is like you know where did we say our guesses were ten four hundred dollars four hundred bucks i said four thousand i said twenty five hundred i think the hermes thing watch is valued at $1,300. That's a fancy band. You know what the problem is, too? Do you know how people know your watch band costs that much?

Because you tell them. That's right. Anything where you've got to be like, and then it's, I don't care. And you shouldn't have spent that much. And you know you shouldn't, which is why you feel like you have to tell everybody about it. That's it. That's the only reason they did spend the money. We're in this era right now where the uglier the shoe, the more expensive.

And I cannot stop. Dude, the Yeezy flip-flop is like or the Yeezy kind of croc style shoe slide. I'm like, dude, what? Why? It's almost like a dare. It's like I'm daring you to put this ugly piece of shit on and just because I made it. Any time for me, if the coolest thing is like look how cool I am because it's ugly, I'm like you're going to put this ugly piece of shit on and just because i mean anytime for me if the coolest thing is like look how cool i am because it's ugly i'm like you're gonna regret this so they won't someday they'll be like look at my look at my airmez too much money yeah it's been more than a

thousand dollars on a watch watch band watch band so the watch is like another four or five we're not talking about watch we're talking about bands we're not talking about watch. We're talking about band. We're talking about the band. We're not talking about watch. Not a watch. Not a watch. A band. We're talking about bands. Okay.

The woman had good reason to be worried. She had several credit cards linked to the watch, including an American Express card with unlimited credit line. Oh, God. That's how you get to go to Disney World. And that's another thing she tells everyone. I have unlimited credit. Which means my credit is great.

All right. Unlimited. The woman who was staying at Disney's Contemporary Resort, which is middling. I mean, it's not the Grand Californian. Or Grand. Oh, I'm forgetting it. What's the best one there? Do you guys know at Disney?

I don't. Whatever. They're not at Pop. They're not at Pop Century. Pop Century is where I would be. Okay. The woman who was staying at Disney's Cont result filed an incident with Disney guest relations. Did she ever get it back?

To see if anyone had retrieved the Fallen Watch. Fallen Watch, great movie with Denzel. Denzel Washington, Leonardo DiCaprio, Fallen Watch. He's an ex-pilot. Right. She went back later and no one had turned it in. Of course. Now remember, the Disney employee had said, we'll get it. Yes. Cast member had said, oh, I see it too. We'll get it. No one had turned it in now remember that the disney employee yes had said we'll get it yes cast member

had said oh i see it too we'll get it no one oh i trust these people these are just kids the staff advised her they did not have the watch the report said you met in christopher walken doing this whole story and the watch and i put the watch then came the fraud alert my ass then came the fraud alerts the woman the woman advised oh my god that had that has several fraud alerts throughout the course of the day the same day on her amex card according to the victim there were fraudulent charges on her card totaling how much money if they're drinking around the world baby yeah they knew it was there said oh we see it we'll get it no one gets it and then all of a sudden she starts

getting emails. Fraud. Fraud. Fraud. How much do you think in one day they spent on it? Again, on limited credit. At Disney World. $10,000? $4,000. $7,500. Fraudulent charges on her card

for the Apple Watch that the cast member had seen. She did not get back. Nobody got it. In one day, totaling $40,000. Oh, my God. They were like, this is our last shot. This is it, man. They went to the vacation center and just started buying.

Right? You're buying vacations. Good for them. Honestly. Let's get property, yo. The woman said she shut down the credit cards attached to the missing watch. The woman wanted to prosecute whoever rang up the charges and contacted the Orange County Sheriff's Office to report grand theft, according to a report taken on April 14th. That watch is in the Everglades, right?

She was told to. It's in the middle of an alligator's mouth. She was told to research the fraudulent charges so authorities, so they told her, you go find out where all these charges are. You go find out. So that she could track where the card was used. Disney security was also notified. The woman's name and other information are redacted on the sheriff's report, which also doesn't give any indication what the thief bought for $40,000.

Can't you itemize the list? An evening with Snow White? Isn't there film and studio? Yeah, you'd think. But how much of the work? I mean, she's going to do it. It's $40,000. I would be like, where was this purchase made? Where was this made? In this store? Let's roll the

tape. Roll the videotape and see who's paying off the watch. I would hunt these people down. If she wants to catch the people, she needs to go through all those steps. But I guarantee you, because she had already filled the report amex is just gonna go oh okay no she's like right at all like they're not gonna pursue the person but i'm saying they're not even gonna pursue the person no she's not gonna pay and they're not gonna she would have to like take it on her own someone's just getting 40 000 of just yeah good times but good for them

for taking that much money i worked at a planet ho Hollywood in Times Square, Manhattan. Wow. And the girl who used to take our money, at the end of the night, it was all cash. She'd give her the cash. She left with $7,500. Walked out. Walked out. But that's not enough money. You're going to get arrested. Right.

But that's not enough money. To go on the run. They have your social security number. To go on the run with only $7,500. In New York City, you get to the corner and you can have one dinner. Truly. At Peter Luger's. But same thing with Disney World.

At least they were like, all right, we're going big. We're going big. We're going big. If we're going to do this, we're doing it. They went so big. Wow. Unbelievable story. Tim Murray, for our Patreon fans, he's going to tell us a dumb story from his life.

It's so much fun we'll get into it again he led with I went to go see Rod Stewart in Ohio that might be the story

if you're leading with that I can't imagine what his dumb story is you gotta join the Patreon the dudes in Ohio just look at him and go I bet he's got

the hottest girl for any album 100% I bet he's got the hottest car which you might anyway Kia Soul Kia Soul.

Kia Soul. All right. Love it, you guys. I love you guys so much. Thank you. And oh shit, we got to get back to work. Boom. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb.

Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. Stick around. Make a sound. Come here down. It's Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb Stick around, make a sound, calm your down, it's Dumb People Town