Dumb People Town - Tim Simons - Bad Jeep: Port Of Call: Long Beach

Episode Date: June 20, 2023

Tim Simons (Second In Command on All Things Comedy) stops by to hear Daniel describe a man with a Jeep grudge, Randy explains how a man on inflatable swan needs to be rescued 3 times, and Jason is incredulous at a surgery center that texted its patients that they had aggressive cancer instead of Happy New Year, and so much more! Thanks to our sponsors: Fitbod & Lectric Bikes! Get 20% off your subscription at https://Fitbod.me/dpt  Visit https://Lectricebikes.com to learn more and explore the epic models Lectric has to offer.

Thank you. So listen to our podcast jam With co-host Armand Dan Vendors, don't be a jerk Cause when the music hits the funny hits We are gonna take you down Stick around, make a sound Hunker down, it's Dump People Town We want to say thank you to our sponsor, FitBot. You are not the same person as you were at the start of the year,

so it's natural for your fitness journey to have ups and downs. Wherever you are in your fitness journey, get the most out of every workout with FitBod. Get 20% off your subscription at fitbod.me. That's F-I-T-B-O-D.M-E. Nice. Thank you to our sponsor, Electric E-Bike. Hey, if you want to open up your summer and have a great time, make sure to get yourself Electric E-Bike.

They're an easy way to get outside and explore your world with a Electric E-Bike. That's right. Visit ElectricEBikes.com to learn more and explore the epic models Electric has to offer. That's ElectricEBikes.com. L-E-C-T-R-I-C- e-bikes.com l-e-c-t-r-i-c e-bikes.com great hey tatties welcome to another episode of dumb people town population you population simons tim simons welcome to the show again welcome back i'm so happy to be here good to see you yeah you were one of our all-time favorite guests and i'm so happy oh my god really yeah yeah you have a new podcast with uh matt walsh well it's a return it's a yes yeah yeah we're now at all things comedy yes so you're here at all second command it's a great

podcast because it is two of our favorite people two of the funniest people we know recounting one of the funniest shows with people who were also on that show yeah we'll get into that you guys know we don't talk about this at the top of the show we promote in the second second what are we even doing i'm not looking for compliments and maybe it's just so that i know so that i can repeat it if i'm ever maybe today just like what do you think it was that super present had a lot of fun asked a lot of questions and you were like there with us all the way ready to play ready to play all right cool i'll see if i can keep that up no it's what you do all the time it's what you do on every show and everything that you are a part of so we're

going to jump into it and last time dan had all three stories this time it rotates get a story jay gets a story you're still just sitting and and partake okay we each bring a dish to the party and i have story number one dan Dan, let's do it. It was sent in by Liz Haggerty, at Liz Haggerty. Love her. Do you guys know this person? She sends in a lot of stories. She's one of the editors of the Dumb Gazette. Yeah, she's kind of one of our stringers.

So basically what happens is, just for people who want to know, maybe you're listening to this for the first time, maybe you're a Tim Simons fan who came to this podcast and said, how do I send in a story? Well, it's quite easy. You hashtag D people town at sklar brothers on twitter at daniel van kirk on twitter still for now still there and then we can uh tell you who sent because sometimes people send the same story like we'll get the same crazy story like 50 times and we go back to the first person who sent it in it gives us a timeline timeline. That's the one good thing. It gives you a good timeline.

It's called Dumb People Town. Don't expect excellence. Alright, this story is textbook. I mean, quintessential Dumb People Town. It's like a lost kid at a fair. It's just, you know it's gonna happen. And his parents are divorced. Right.

He's just crying while holding a corndog that he didn't pay for. A giant turkey. Yelling grandma and she's dead. Okay. There is no grandma. Liz Haggerty, thank you. Here's the headline. Man torches cars after dealership sold him bad Jeep.

So he's now taking it. You sell me a bad car i'm gonna take care of your show you this is like he's like sean connery in the untouchables right they ruin one of your jeeps you ruin three of them you ruin a sebring like yeah you ruin two jeeps you put their sister in the morgue yes bad jeep does sound like a version of bad lieutenant sure you know like the jeep is bad yes it's unpredictable bad jeep with lewis gossett jr no bad jeep is nick cage he's bad jeep he's bad man port of call uh port of call long beach yeah that's perfect port of call long beach if there's not a bad lieutenant port of call Long Beach. Yeah. Port of call Long Beach. If there's not a bad lieutenant port of call Long Beach with Snoop Dogg. I mean,

I will leave. I'll walk off the set. If I have dog is, can I just for a moment, just talk about how present he is in his life. It's for as high as he is all the time. He is so present. There is this little thing on Tik TOK that is so funny.

Or maybe it's on Instagram called there. I ruined it there it there i ruined it i've seen it where they take songs and mash them up yes you know it and they try and mash them with the worst possible things but the funny thing is they're like you didn't ruin it you actually made it better well this smash up of snoop dogg and like a 1920s like no it was like it was like from the Bear Necessities. What's that? No, it's from Jungle Book. Oh, like a Jungle Book? They did it to the rhythm and beat.

Here's what I found. They did it to the rhythm and beat of Bear Necessities from Jungle Book. Yes. Gin and Juice. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah.

And it's great, because Snoop then... He then found it, and then he collabed with it, where he just starts mouthing it along to what they did and in a very fun way so port of call port of call long also i would say snoop dog not since like the 70s have we had someone and i don't get wrong he gets all his credit for being an amazing recording

artist and rapper sure but he's transcended to just known american entity oh like a paul lind like just like a just like a somebody who's just these were famous in the 70s and carson would have them on just to like talk and maybe they were doing they were doing a show in the polka notes like we met him twice we hung with him twice and he remembers one there he only remembers there is a magnetism to this dude that is you're like even if you didn't rap you are just the most magnetic human being yeah you are just a person and the fact that you can rap and the fact that you're really good at that i mean he's just an amazing guy i don't know how people do that in that i find i i'm not somebody that I like. I'm not an introvert. I like being in social situations,

but I find that the, it takes a lot of energy that I then have to go away and replenish. And I don't know how somebody at his level is able to do that all the time. In like so many different forms. Oh, there you go. Okay, here we go.

A man is accused of setting fire to vehicles at two dealerships two only one sold you a jeep nope yeah this is this is bigger than this this is a gmc jeep eagle wide problem how many times the fish rots from the head that's right you cut it all off how many times has he looked at somebody at the bar and said this is bigger than this bigger than us this is bigger what you said this is bigger than that's what jason said this is bigger than this bigger than us this is bigger what you said that's what jason said this is bigger than this you're like what is that you know what i mean the suspect is charged with four counts of arson after he was seen on video around 1 a.m on july 17th at the o daniel used car lot in fort wayne indiana o daniel o daniel o daniel daniel van it was taught quote it was time for the chickens to return to the roost.

What does that mean? That's not what it is. That's not the phrase. Okay, so this guy's not in the military, and he's going to use phrases that sound military-esque. And probably drunk. Right. It was time for the chickens to return to the roost. What could that mean?

Chickens to come home to roost. Well, it's supposed to be the chickens have come home to well it's it's it's supposed to be the chickens have come home to roost right yeah but i am going to tell you i have never understood what that means and i know that malcolm x said at one time i think regarding to kennedy's assassination do i look it up and people got oh it's all you want so i want to look okay so if i'm if i may be so bold, I think it is. This is a podcast within a podcast called Look It Up With Jason. It's just Jason looking stuff up.

So if I may be so bold, I think it is you put stuff out into the universe, good or bad, karma, whatever it is, and when the chickens come home to roost, that's when the chickens come home to sit on their eggs. So the old saying is chickens have come home to roost that's when the chickens come home to sit on their old sailing is the saying is chickens have come home to roost is normally used to mean that the bad things that someone has done in the past have come back to bite or haunt the individual right so maybe this person's right well i mean i'm not saying that they're not right but i think as fundamentally as a phrase

i would think if my chickens are coming home to roost i feel great yes thank god i think it i think it is supposed to have a positive i've stayed they've come back they come back i stayed at my uh a friend's house one time we went up to monocito and a friend he like lives up there with his family he was like well we're gonna be gone for the weekend why don't you guys stay here and we have chickens in the backyard all you gotta they put themselves away and watch out because these motherfuckers will come they will come home to roost. They will come home to roost. I was like cool all positive and The kids there's like this side gate door sure kids left it open. Yeah chickens get out

Apple juice the chicken no never seen again no oh my god i mean look how hard it was for rocky huh look how hard it was well here's the thing lemonade's running around in the front yard and i'm like going through the bushes being like fuck fuck fuck i know and we i called him and i was like look man i'm so sorry apple juice is gone apple juice is gone we have no more apple juice he's like if he's like you know the coyotes probably will get them but they will find their way home if they are alive and one out of the three found their way home yeah scarred i think it was like i think crackers crackers awesome crackers yeah crackers is a new chicken crackers just stares at a blank tv screen for hours but it was like it was like his child's chicken i was like i can't i fucking killed the chickens you picked out and when he got home the

kid was like yeah that's fine the kid was like yeah whatever whatever whatever nothing's different the chicken's there it will like cock-a-doodle-doo at sunset now i know that that's not right but it's just been through some stuff oh my god seen some things uh so the suspect's charged with four counts of arson yeah the quote from the suspect is it was time for the chickens to return to the roost said the how old fort wayne uh man so how old is the guy that would use that phrase and get mad at a bad jeep and go set fire to multiple vehicles at two dealerships he's been pushed for that he's gotta be i'm saying at 1 a.m 1 a.m he's not gonna be in his 50s okay he's not gonna be old enough okay to be out at 1 a.m okay i'm getting a look like no because i'm going in the

50s but you're going in the 50s i'm gonna say mid to late 40s because he's still he still knows the phrase he's been around long enough hit it now 47 47 okay 58 58 yeah 64 64 you guys are all face the guy who's pissed about his the guy who's pissed about his bad Jeep and said the chickens have returned to the roost is 79 years old. Oh my God. He is pissed off. He is pissed off. He was waiting for Debra to die. She's gone.

And there's nothing to stop his anger. How many times, times tim has he said the phrase i have had it up to here he well he probably says there yeah he's yeah i've had it there he said it four times that day not even related to the this is bigger than this these chickens are coming home to the roost the roost and i've had it up to there with this with this i i'm not saying that people should go out and burn no no i agree none of us are not even jeeps you're impressed that a 79 year old had the wherewithal at 1 a.m at 1 a.m to do it and all he got up to pee and just kept going i feel like we have lost a sense of proportional response yeah sure that's i feel like we have done i'm not like i was sort

of like raised pacifist like i understand these things but i'm also like you know what you fucking deserve to have don't give this guy don't give a 79 year old man a bad jeep unless you want and look we're all thinking of o'daniel's car dealership as it lives in our mind these people might be ass they might be terrible right There might be a whole group of people, and I'm assuming they're on Facebook, who are like, good. Yeah. Retribution can seem intense,

but sometimes people have gotten the retribution they asked for. That they deserve. Yes. They deserve. You've done enough to deserve this. He's like, I don't want to burn these. I don't want to burn these,

but I've been pushed too far. Right. If you just go around punching people, that's rude. Horrible. If you punch a Nazi, that's fun. They earned it. That's fun. Like, it's fun.

They earned it. And also, they should go, well, yeah, of course. I signed up. I got it. I get it. I live the punching life. That's the game I'm in. That's the game I'm in.

If I didn't want to play tackle football, I didn't want to get tackled. Get off the field. Get off the field. Get off the field and change your uniform while you're at it that's it okay that's it the man told the fort wayne police department that he started the fires as revenge against the dealership which he said which he said sold him a jeep why do i feel like when the cops got to his house he was already into the story i'll tell you what they weren't even out yet and then this happened walking out to the lawn i'll tell you what they did like no one's asked finally

you want to know you want to know you're probably here because all those jeeps got burned right he told he told this was revenge against the dealership which he said sold him a jeep with a bad motor and quote refused to make it right. This is when he bought the Jeep in what year? In what year do you think he bought this Jeep? This could be a longstanding grudge. Oh, wow. He's 79. In what year do you think he bought a Jeep?

They sold him a bad motor. They refused to make it right, and the chickens are roosting in town again. They're coming into the roosting area. This is a long play? Like a really long play, Dan? I don't know. Do you want to go first, take it, or third? Where do you want to guess?

We can guess ahead of you if you want to hear where we're going, if you want more time to think about it. I want a little bit more time. Okay, so then you'll go in the middle of us. Go ahead, Jay. I think he bought this car in 2013. Okay. Wow. Ten years ago. Ten years he sat on this. It's a ten-year-long play. Tim, what. I think he bought this car in 2013. Okay. Wow.

10 years ago. It's a 10-year-long place. Tim, what do you think? I'm going to go sort of biblical with this. Okay. And I'm going to say that I think he bought this Jeep in the mid to late 90s, in 1998. 98. And has been like-

Quarter of a century. 25 years. 25 years. Deborah died. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stewing. Stewing. And this is what I do now. Stewing. has been like quarter of a century 25 years 25 years died yeah yeah yeah and doing and i this is what i do now and as she died she said go get him go get him i believe with her last breath she said don't leave me he doesn't have a bucket list he has a checklist he has a to-do list he doesn't

have a bucket list he's got a bucket list we're gonna going to tear this thing down. So what is that? 25 years. I'm going to say 1998. Okay. 25 years. I'm going to go crazy because I wanted to go crazy last time. I said 64. I was in the right direction. Sure.

I think he bought this damn Jeep in 79. Wow. He's 79 and bought it in 79. Okay. 44 years ago. And by the way, and I'm sure it had, had dan i'm sure it had a great motor back then and then like all cars that are that old the motor dies so you're blaming him yes i'm pinning this on all right okay this man a 79 year old man bought this Jeep in 1986. Oh my God.

Oh my God. You guys are right near each other. You are one year closer. No, you are. I was not even... That was where my heart was going. The Bears win the Super Bowl in January and then he goes, I'm going to get a Jeep. So he buys a Jeep.

It's an 86 motor. Did he set them? What year did he set the Jeeps on fire? Now. This year? Now. Long play. I was right to say.

This is from August 2022. If you bought a car in when? 1989? 36 years ago. 36 years before. 86. 36 years before this happened. 37. 37.

If you got nine years out of that car. Good for you. You did great. Unless, unless, unless when he bought it, it was bad. Yeah. He wanted them to fix it. And they said, fuck off. They said, fuck you.

And he took one more drag and went, all right. Okay. We'll see. All right. Fine fine you don't want to help me out that he got another car they thought he forgot about it sometime when you least expect it i'll be back i'll be back i don't want to bring up mel gibson sure did you ever see that movie payback yes where he like puts the cigarettes in his mouth backwards and rips off the filter and throws it away and then he's like he's always like burning somebody alive with gasoline because i don't know

i think somebody gets killed i was just picturing this guy like an old ass like anti-semitic racist just like dumping gasoline and just like ripping an unfiltered cigarette and throwing it in the little gas trail that he made the video oh hell yeah shows the man opening the fuel door of a 2019 jeep compass and placing an ignited road flare inside the fuel tube according to the self up yeah the man then drove off the lot in his car while the jeep was engulfed in flames the fire grew no shit and ignited vehicles on either side of the jeep including a 2013 gmc acadia and a 2020 jeep cherokee kind of feels like they're just trying to sell cars it feels like somebody's and you know what you get they are burning off the line

they're hot and ready to go red hot deal price to move gang all three vehicles were destroyed in the fire and worth more than how much combined just for a quick fun one we're talking used yeah you got a 2013 gmc acadia you got a you got a jeep a 2019 jeep compass and a 2020 jeep cherokee i want to throw in used car market was through the roof in 2022 in august of 22 yeah Yeah. What would you say? Three cars ranging. Yeah. One was two years old. One was three years old.

And one was nine years old at the time. $68,000. Okay. $52,000. $60,000. $70,000. Whoa! Through the roof.

You're moving on to the showcase. You're moving on to the showcase. It's so good. You were close to getting both showcases. After leaving the used car lot, the affidavit says the man drove to a second O'Daniel dealership in Fort Wayne. There, the man used a knife to cut open the roof of a 2008 Pontiac Solstice base convertible model. Leave a Pontiac alone. Pontiacs are just barely.

Them and the Sunfires are just hanging on. He's been through enough. Damn, we had a Pontiac 6000 I had a Grand Am My first adult car was a Pontiac Grand Am But think about it He went to the first dealership and he's like fuck these Jeeps

I get that you got a bad Jeep you fucked their Jeep The next dealership he's like I guess I'm selling For a Pontiac Solstice What did that ever do to you? I don't want to hear collateral damage from this guy Damn weird thing about a Sebring He's like, I guess I'm selling for a Pontiac Solstice convertible. What did that ever do to you? I don't want to hear collateral damage from this guy. Damn weird thing about a Sebring.

That feels like, yeah, don't take it out on us. He took it out of the Sebring. So he cuts open the cloth top, right? Then drops an ignited road flare through the slit in the roof onto the driver's seat. If something works, if something's working, you go with it. Yeah, if it's not broken, don't fix it. That's that phrase, right? If something works, don something's working, you go with it. Yeah, if it's not broken, don't fix it. That's that phrase, right? If something works, don't change it.

His phrase, if something is not broken, then don't try and go changing it or fixing it. How many nights did he pour just a glass of unchilled Canadian club looking at those two flares being like, someday. Someday. Someday, man. I'm waiting. I got all. Sat on that rage. Sat on it. Decades. Someday. Someday, man. I'm waiting. I got all. Sat on that rage. Sat on that.

Decades. Decades. So the flare drops onto the driver's seat, catches fire, created heat and smoke damage to the car's interior. The damage to the convertible was greater than its $12,823 value. Yeah. So in 2022, a 2008 Pontiac convertible Solstice. Dude, used car market.

$12,823. I mean, saying 12 12 823 somebody what is that o daniels yeah somebody named o daniels o daniel wrote this article look at how much money i'm losing yeah i'm losing 69 000 or someone close to him so that he could then claim the insurance off. Hey, where there's smoke, there's a fire sale. The man also told officers that he placed Loctite super glue and other accelerant in the door locks of cars on an O'Daniel lot shortly after

purchasing his Jeep in 1986. So he already hit him. He already hit him? Why are you hitting him again this is not a proportional response thank you the first one is the problem with your first one was though too subtle yeah because they think that's kids and it doesn't even make the news right yeah and it's that there is certain terms of breakdown and you know liquid and stuff you can get rid of it's gonna take a long time but you can get rid of glue he is filled with rage oh my god filled with rage have you guys ever been close to a burning car uh just driving past yes we drove past one and it was like

semi coming out of vegas heat was unreal 10 miles coming out of vegas semi fully engulfed no way mine was also come it was on the way to vegas yeah i've had that the heat of it you can feel inside your car inside your car it's pretty it's pretty wild wild it's wild we used to do a huge bonfire in my hometown of rochelle illinois huge part of homecoming week it hurt your teeth yeah it burns you and you're not that close to it at all oh it's um all right here's the final thing on this okay while watching the footage the man identified himself that's me right there i'm the son of a bitch who did this yeah he invited identified himself to police and said

that he was upset he did not get to watch the fires he set oh my god after he saw the damage to the convertible tell cersei it was me he told police quote that's all the damage I did. Wow. This guy's a cult. I don't think he's done with O'Daniel. By the way, he's loving this part of it. So he's going to go to jail. He's going to go to jail. He's not going to jail. I don't know.

79. They're going to say, clearly, if he can hold a grudge for 36 years, he's going to go do it again. And he's a danger to. And he had already gotten them once. Right. Dude, you got to get them. All right. That's story number one, it again. He's a danger to. And he had already gotten them once. Right. Dude, you got to get him. All right. That's story number one, my friend.

Wow. Oh, my God. Just way too old. A long grudge. Just perfect. 37 years he held that grudge. Well, yeah. Well, when he did it, it was 36.

86 till now. Turned into hate. So he's 79 now. 37 years earlier. Now he's 80, possibly. Yeah, but 37 years earlier, he was's 80, possibly since this came out. Yeah, but 37 years earlier, he was 42 years old. Yeah.

Or right? 43, yeah. 42, 43. I mean, that's a guy who like really, for years, Christmas after Christmas was like, I'm going to take these kids. I'm going to get them. I'm going to get them. Dumb people, Tom.

I just want to say, the fact that there are more stories, your listeners, just what a joy. I know. Thank you. That you guys, I mean, like, if you gave them the one, they would be like, that's pretty good. The fact that you're like, you know what? We got more. Two more. Two more to go.

Two more. We're going to tell you guys all about Tim and Matt Walsh's podcast, which is coming back. It's all Exploring Veep. All that on the other side of the break. It's Dumb People Town with Tim Simons. We'll be right back. Hey, on the other side of the break. It's Dumb People Town with Tim Simons. We'll be right back. Hey, guys. Welcome back to the show.

As we were mentioning before, before we get to talking about the podcast and the Matt Walsh, Tim Simons reboot. We'll call it a reboot. Sure. Let's talk about what we have going on, Jay. Well, June 14th, you got a big show. June 14th, we're doing a show. I think we're going to do it once a month. You're doing your show, not our show.

It's our show. At the Comedy Store in the Belly Room, it's called Tag It. It is the most us show ever. You also basically get a twofer, guys. You get a great comic doing a great set, and then that same great comic interacting with you two great comics, almost doing another group set of comedy where you pitch them great jokes.

Yes, so Tim, what happens is our friends do stand up, and Jay and I are off to the side in real time writing pitches to their jokes that we then go on stage afterwards and say I love this bit I love where you're going I thought you were going to go this way have you ever tried doing this or what about this we pitch them and if they want them they can have them it's like the what happens in green rooms ever and back hallways of every club ever is comedians start talking to each other yeah so we're gonna do it on stage so uh comedians it talking to each other. Yeah, so we're going to do it on stage. Comedians, it seems like famously, love to be criticized.

So this is a great idea. We try and make it constructive and not so preachy, but you're right. I know comedians famously are able to differentiate between constructive criticism and just criticism. We are walking in the lion's den, into the mouth of a lion as far as that goes. That's June 14th at the Comedy Store. Dan did it last time and it was fantastic. And we have Aparna Nancherla is going to be on this one. Doug Benson is going to be on this one. Ian Edwards is going to be on this one.

Just good people. Anybody else? Someone else really good is going to be on it. Daniel, let's talk about what you have going on. Go to danielvankirk.com. I got dates coming up. East Coast, Midwest, uh southwest even some stuff around here i think one of those dates is going to end up being a special slash album recording taping

so um all that'll be coming up so just keep an eye over at at daniel van kirk on instagram or danielvankirk.com plus i have my show every other week with irene too it's called best bet comedy you can follow that show or myself. I promote it as well, at Best Bet Comedy. It's in Hollywood. At Daniel Van Kirk, too, on Instagram and at Skly Brothers as well. And our Patreon is fantastic, too. For five bucks a month.

We do all sorts of great stories. Oh, we get to hear about you losing luggage. Yeah. It's good stuff. I had a great luggage story on there. Tim, so let's talk about the podcast where you guys go back and look at. Second in command. Sorry, guys.

I'm smashing that Patreon button after I heard about the luggage story. It's a good one. These two traveling, getting mad at each other is the greatest thing in the world. It's worth just hearing Jay's vitriol to me. Plus people send in their own dumb stories. Like fans send in like, here's when I jumped into a cactus garden. Catching a Frisbee. I mean, it's unbelievable

stories and then we find some old crazy stories too it's really super fun all right second in command second in command okay so second you guys are back a little bit of a year hiatus you're here a little bit of a hiatus of a new home at all things comedy very excited about it uh the idea is that you know the the we're trying to tell the we're trying to remember how the show was built because we had a really we had a strange process that not a lot of television shows do it was very not only collaborative but sort of workshoppy it would um armando who started the show would talk about how it was like a stew you just keep putting stuff in and you boil it down you keep put more stuff in and you boil it way to do it and so we're trying to get you know everybody that is a fan of the show is familiar with the end

product and i think we're trying to give a sense of not only how it got there and we're trying to give a sense of how it got there but also you know it's been a long time since these episodes now have aired and so we are coming back with like some some distance from it yeah it's just kind of fun to to relive it i've talked to matt about this like the genesis of your character as well oh yeah and you develop it in the evolution of your character is phenomenal like you finding jonah and then like jonah's place in that world is so you know because you very much start out like you pop in and out and then it's the differentiate the yo-yoing of status is for us with that character is so it was like i remember the first time i saw him at a hardcore show and i was like oh my god

yes this makes sense cool this guy would do this. That one. I remember being like, Oh, like this is kind of the scene that I was into when I would have like been going to shows. And by the time I shot that I was old enough that at the end of the day, I was like, Oh, my neck does not move. I was, I did not warm up. I mean, like I truly was the age where I was like, Oh, I have to lie down.

I have to lie down. I have to lie down this is and this is what you're going to get in the show is like little stuff like that that people just you great little tidbits and I bet it's great like if it's a Sam Richardson or Randall Park people you guys bring in and talk about that process of someone it's almost like double dutch they've got to come in and hit this like pace and hit this rhythm and find it and I'm sure not to speak disparaging, but there was probably some people that it was very challenging for. And then other people,

it was such a litmus test to be able to be like, Oh, you're in like you're in, you're in, you're in. Yeah. Like definitely Sam was one of those people. I Dan back at all.

It was like, Oh my God. He just came in and hit the ground running. It's like, Oh, this is Dan's made for that. Like rank and like nut cutting. And also I love so much

of how people get so high on an idea or a motivation and then that just gets taken out from under them every time yeah and i do also think that there is something fun about like and i i'm i think this might appeal to you guys specifically like sort of like generalized comedy nerds like we like trying to like parse out just like something's funny in that thing of you know when you're criticizing your friend's stand-up yeah you know you're trying to figure out like why is it funny why did that work where did that come from i want to ask you one quick question before we go sure i don't think you had worked with julia louise dreyfus before this correct was it people have just said and i've talked to other people and showed that they're like oh you just got it you're like oh you're a genius and your like ability to like work off

and play i mean she's so primed with sign fall and all that other stuff but it was like oh there's just you're in it like we're just a team and you're just she was i mean it's incredible i mean like i i think it's she's such a legend You know, the work that she's done is incredible. And she's like, so there was a certain intimidation that I had going in, of course, but I think that she is somebody who is very, she is a generous collaborator.

And even though I did not have the experience of really anybody that was there, I was never made to feel like it was, I was never made to feel like it was a bad idea to participate right it was she she and armando created an environment where we were all able to trust one another and find it and so great the best the comedy we call it yeah you got every week on tuesdays i think every tuesday is your pod oh yeah we come out every tuesday i forget to talk about things uh yeah it comes out every tuesday um and it's been very fun i know you guys are super funny

so i would just listen to you guys talk about anything for sure but then it happens to be this show about something that you know and love so good all right second in command second in command check it out to it i've got the next story sent in by once again liz hagerty okay our friend liz hagerty you ready for this yeah here it is plymouth man this is the headline plymouth man riding an inflatable swan rescued for the third time this week that is insane one time rescued rescue me one shame on you what point do you just let him go? Shame on the community. Let him go.

Third time you rescue me, don't ever rescue me again. Right. I'm like this with people and their dogs. I don't want to be rescued. When you walk in, someone's like, don't let the dog out, don't let the dog out. The third time, your dog doesn't want to live here anymore. That's right. Can I tell you a story?

Yes, please. So one of my mom's friends from Lamaze class. Perfect. Sorry, he's biting your buttons. You want me to hold him? She like their second kid so like the the older the middle their middle son was like my best uh one of my best elementary school friends because they met in lamaze class we were friends as babies and all that totally he has a younger sister and we all go to the ocean one day and this little this little kid is like two years old keeps like walking into the ocean oh my god and the mom is like just get back here get

back here and after the fourth time she was like you know maybe she belongs in there like maybe she can't figure it out 80s mommy yeah it's true when you get in that riptide Parallel Paddle honey paddle Will you guys grab her she's going by your body For it yet strangers Grab her A man has been rescued for the third time

This week after entering Plymouth Sound On an inflatable swan On a swan Can I ask one quick question? Sure. I mean, are these like rent-to-boat swans like an Echo Park lake? No, no, no.

So they're blow-up inflatable. This is a popular thing. Like a basic bitch like me wearing a mimosas all day big hat. Dan, we have an inflatable swan. Yeah, it's just like when you put it in a pool, you put your kids on it. A lot of judgment calling it a basic bitch. I mean, a basic yeah he put himself in that category exactly the man's

latest rescue took place at approximately what time after uh port control port control observe the man floating uh out there like the wire when they found like dead hookers and like exactly container i'm gonna guess 4 30 p.m 4 30 p.m what do you think jay uh 11 a.m are we talking about the third time the third time that he was caught i'm i've you know what dead air is really good for podcasts that's one thing i learned i squeaked i squeaked yeah the longer you're quiet the better um. I'm going to say... The barn's open. You know, he was out for sort of like a late evening kind of... Like a late evening float kind of sundown.

I'm going to say like 6.45. Okay. 4.30, 11.30, 11.00 a.m. 6.45 p.m. Get your answers in townies because the last rescue took place at approximately 3.30 p.m. Oh, Daniel-san. He wanted to eat lunch. The Plymouth Harbormaster, Richard Allen, Dick Allen,

said to Plymouth live earlier today, and although he was not present at the rescue, he was able to confirm that the man had been pulled from the water. Now, look, I wasn't there. I wasn't there. I was off. But I trust my men and women. You guys need me to give a quote?

Dick, we got it. Here's my quote. And when they tell me that this jerk off. Okay, I'm going to say one word in his quote, and it tells you completely his attitude. If you're an actor and you're like, how do I play this guy? Nope. He was on the water a minute ago, but he's just been recovered.

He's just been pulled in, apparently. Apparently. Apparently is everything. That's how he covers his own ass. Yeah. At the time of the rescue, the man had just been off the western side of Plymouth Sound. You're taking this thing out into a sound. What is a sound?

Is it a sound of the ocean? Yeah, it's like a channel. It's like Long Island sound. It's like a giant. Where's Plymouth? Oh, we'll find it. Hold on. It's Jay's podcast. Yeah. It's like a channel. Long Island sound. It's like, where's Plymouth? Oh, well, it's Jay's podcast. I'll Google. I like Jay's. All right.

I believe he was over to. I believe he was over towards the Mayflower Marina. He's again. I'm not there. Why was this person giving the quote? I'm the boss. God damn it. I'll get out there and say what happened.

Even if I only know part. I believe he was over on towards the west, the Mayflower Marina. Can we talk to someone who is out there? No, you talk to me. I will give the quotes. Well, you don't seem to have any answers, sir. I'm sorry. Can you ever really know a person? That's not what we're asking.

Who are we really? What is in a gentleman's heart it comes as police issued a warning for people to not risk their lives by taking to sea in inflatable beds or animals after the time you know what is believed to be the same man in choppy waters off the hoe hoe on thursday november 10th it later emerged that the man had already been rescued in Plymouth Sound the previous day. And he wants to float out to sea. Let him go. Let him go. So, yeah.

Cunningham told Plymouth Live how this woman, how she and PC, Chantel Watkins, his ex-wife said to his kids. Exactly. Let him go. Had been driving along the hoe, H-O-E, I guess that's what it is, around 3.30 p.m.

when they were frantically flagged down by a woman who was trying to ring 101. Maybe this is in England. Maybe this is. Oh, maybe. She told officers she'd seen a man on an inflatable swan in the sea who apparently appeared to be in difficulty. Again, if this is the third time you're rescuing this guy,

like your friend's mom, let him go into the ocean. I don't care if the water is perfectly calm i don't if you are more than 15 yards from the beach yep in the ocean on a swan you're going through a hard time you want you want to get yes you want to get you want to be in choppy water you're having a hard time and that has nothing to do with the swans or the water. You have a secret you don't want to reveal. Somewhat incredulous. At that moment, that's the best you've been in a while. In a while.

It's like going back. I work best in catastrophe. Have I. Okay. So, you know, there's the right across the street from the Grove. Yes. The like the Los Angeleseles holocaust museum yes yes and uh and they have uh you know it's a beautifully so beautifully designed building um uh that sort of travertine kind of look in the walkways it's beautiful but they have the anti uh skateboarding pegs on the travertine

and the thing is whenever i see like a a sign that says something like please don't go out into the open waters on it means a lot of people have done it a lot of people have done it and there is that thing where i'm like i just imagine the sign at this place being like i can't believe we have to say this. Don't go on an inflatable swan. Well, no, please do not skateboard on the Holocaust. Don't skateboard the Holocaust. Don't skateboard on the, like the train tracks going into Auschwitz.

Please don't skateboard on those tracks. Please do not skateboard. We don't need you to pop an ollie on that. Why did I, why did we have to make this sign? I know they just were not happy. Someone, somewhat incredulous. The offers officers headed towards the location.

The woman mentioned behind the coffee shack. I love that. They give that detail. Yeah. Shout out coffee. Shout out coffee. Jack, somebody in there is related to the coffee shack.

I mean, the cops are like, we should probably stop and get some coffee shack, right? We just got oat milk. Shut up. We're talking about a guy to find a few yards out there was a man on board an inflatable swan bobbing around in the water is what they said a couple of people were standing there watching and sure enough there was a man face down in an inflatable swan yeah that tells you right exactly oh man with a tiny with a tiny little paddle

can you imagine if the paddle was like really really really small it was a hell of a windy day certainly not suitable conditions at all we tried shouting out to him but he seemed oblivious he wasn't panicking at all pc wildman went through the bag leave him leave him yeah the bag and found nearby and got his name for it she began shouting his name as loud as she could get his attention she was bellowing look at me and listen before saying she'd throw him a tow line we keep in every police car by some miracle this is how point break should have ended he caught it and we pulled him in when we got him in so they did all this to get this dumb ass in got him in in. He probably was like, thank you. He goes right back out again.

We tried to explain the dangers of being on the water on an inflatable. We're telling him we are concerned about his safety, that these things were not meant for the sea at the best of times, let alone a windy day when the tide was really high. I told him these things are meant for swimming pools. You know how many people have said I told him? He was just saying, you ready this? No, no, no, it's fine right which is

what every drunk person says whenever you're trying to get them to do anything we're leaving the bar now no no it's fine we need to get in the car no one asked you if i can quit drinking whenever i want no it's fine get up we're going to bed no no no it's fine the brain will do that the brain will will and he means it when he says that no no no it's fine it's fine you ready for what he did she's gonna call me it seemed oblivious to the strangers and then he did the most eight-year-old thing that any adult man could ever do his pants nope tried to reason with him but he deflated the swan and ran off just ran up the steps and was gone did he take the swan yep took a swan with him. A deflated swan. Well, they ruined his day.

The potential to drift further and further out meant that we even called the police marine launch just in case we were unable to reach him with the tow line. The officers were left shocked at the man's behavior, but more shocks came when they climbed back onto the steps of their police vehicle, only to encounter a couple of paramedics who happened to be having coffee at the Ho Cafe.

Again, there we go. Sweet. Are you sure they're not at the coffee clutch or whatever it's called? Coffee shack. They now have iced mochas at the cafe. Stop. I like the Mocha Cafe. I need to say that out loud.

We got some half-calf options if it's later in the day. All that's in here. We are out of time. They've got a lot of flavored seasonal syrups obviously starbucks has a trademark on some of them but if you want something that's a lot like a frappuccino they got options they got peppermint ours is pumpkin flavor it's not pumpkin spice but it's pumpkin flavor you know what we're talking you know it's the same thing we were remarking about the strange incident and they went, what? We rescued him a day before.

He did exactly the same thing yesterday. The same man and probably the same swan on the water being bashed them in the wall by the way. So, again, how many times you get lost out to sea? We said that in the end. Do you? I mean, this is that's the end of the story. But like he he's definitely going out there again am i right oh he's not learning his local yes yeah that's what he does but like what also

part of me hopes this is just some sort of weird viral marketing for the coffee shack and they're like gregory we need you back out there again get out there starbucks is gonna kill us the more we mention i don't want to go out there anymore. Just go out. Look, every time you're out there, we get three more public servants who have to come out here and get coffee while they wait for you. We tried to throw them coffee shack punch cards, which you know they're doing five for one.

This is a guy who gets talked to through clenched teeth a lot. Yes, yes. Put it down. Get in the car. Deal with it. Yeah. Alright, there you go. That's story number two. Down the books. Get in the car. Deal with it. Yeah. All right. There you go. That's story number two.

Down the books. Jay, can you give us a little taste of what we're going to see? I truly cannot believe that your listeners are getting yet another story. Yet another story. You get one more. Worst text ever from a doctor. Love it. Okay.

Okay. We're into it. Tim Simons is with us and he's got my dog on his lap and I'm okay with that. That is what's going on. This is the best. It's Dumb People Town. Randy, in regards to your dog, you're first in command. He's second.

Second in command. There you go. That's his podcast with Matt Walsh. You've got to subscribe. Check it out. We'll be right back with more Dumb People Town. It's bringing it home right after this. Stick around.

Make it sound. There's more Dumb People Town. Boys, I have to tell you about my electric e-bike. I am so excited to hear. First of all, I got one of these, which is why it's mine. My family is trying to steal it from me all the time. Do not let them take it. I have it up at the cabin.

It has revolutionized my family's in the cabin. You go down to the little general store, you hit up the little resort on the lake, grab yourself a little Sammy for the summer, go back down, go swimming. First of all, you're outside you're outside that is number one so i what i have always wanted to do more of when i'm at my family's cabin is like go out more and explore i go for a ride dude i go for 10 15 20 miles it's just me in the wind i go no headphones it's literally like i can check out on this thing yeah and like experience more of getting away and it's all because of my electric e-bike i love them i want to say before you say it if you are hearing me talk about this get one yeah it is like before we

had smartphones people were like i don't want to ask really like talk about it it was like a technological revolution remember everybody like if you had an uncle like me and they're like i don't need one of them smartphones better get it and then you better get it like oh this how did i do without changes how did i have a summer without electric e-bike so again and you explain this but you roam freely you can reach up to 28 miles an hour and i know dan's pushed it on his uh you're you're humming. With the twist of a throttle. And pedal assist, which I love because you're still working. You're still getting exercise, but it's pushing with you and it's helping you get up the hill.

Dan, and you said you go back and forth from the lake and whatnot. You can add those cargo baskets and bags. Huge. Comfort upgrades. Even passenger accessories to certain e-bike models. So they really make it easy for you to customize. And they cost less than the competition. It's compactable.

Foldable. So you can get it into your car or SUV, obviously your truck or whatever. Let me say it's so great. Ships free and fully assembled. How about that? That's the coolest part. There isn't like a like, all right, well, hey, I got it, but I need to find the time to put it together.

I'll do it over the next weekend. No, no, no. It's ready to go. Fully assembled. So we say get out, explore your world with an e-bike. Visit electricebikes.com. Learn more and explore the epic models Electric has to offer. That's electricebikes.com.

L-E-C-T-R-I-C-E-B-I-K-E-S.com. Townies, whatever your fitness level is or whatever your goals are, Fitbod builds a dynamic workout plan just for you and it optimizes future workouts based on your personal progress so what are your goals that's you gotta ask that yeah like i know that i myself i want to lose weight i want to i want to lose weight i want to firm up i want to be doing something every day i like to work out at home so like i want it to be things that i can easily do and i go through the fitbot app which i have and it has like designed to work out for me at home that is like

perfect even for me though like when i'm on the road my thing is this goes back to like playing sports in high school yep i just want to show up tell me what i have to do for the time i have to do it i will follow your instructions i don't want to think because i don't want to be negative i don't want to have an opinion and they literally you, you say like, I want to do this. Like for his weight, for me, it's that as well. And then it will tell you, this is your workout today. It'll give you a time in between the sets, which I really, really love so that there's no like, oh, I've been on my phone for 10 minutes before I started this next movement. Like it sticks with you and tells you what to do now. It's so well organized and it's kind organized. And also, it's not yelling at you.

It's just right there for you to do. But then because it's an app, you can keep track of your achievements. You can sync up with your Apple health. I get so into, like, you've set a new goal. I love that. Or you've done it 12 days in a row. You're actually being consistent with it. It kind of keeps you honest.

Yeah, I love it. I think that personalized workout plan designed for your fitness level and goals, they create that custom workout. It is so good. Your personal goals and experience. It gives you the habit. Build the habit. With what you have available.

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Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, Stick around, make us down, there's more Don't People Town. Hey guys, welcome back to the show. I'm going to bring us home, shall we? You said this is a bad doctor text? Yes. Okay. This is sent in front of...

What if it's just... Dad, you would... Think I left something in there. Dan, have you seen my keys? That's a bad thing. This is sent in by Jake. Hey, you're going to get an email tomorrow. Don't sue.

Yeah. We're already suing ourselves. Let's talk it out first before you call anyone. Just hear my side of it. Here it is. My last patient was such a dickhead. Oh, sorry. Wait.

Wrong chain. Wrong thread. New phone. Who dis? Here we go. Surgeons. So it's multiple doctors. Wait. Wrong chain. Wrong thread. New phone. Who dis? Here we go. Surgeons. So it's multiple doctors. Okay.

Sorry for texting patients they had aggressive cancer instead of Happy New Year. Oh, my God. This is Jake Roney. Oh, my God. Wait, so they don't have cancer? No. This is like when the nuclear thing went off in hawaii right yeah yeah yeah they meant to say happy new year but it came out you have

aggressive cancer kazoo yeah did they send it on new year's eve uh or on new year's day they may have uh asker and medical practice in the uk has apologized after texting thousands of patients. Oh, my God. To let them know that they had, quote, aggressive lung cancer, cancer with metastases two days before Christmas. Merry Christmas. On the 10th day of Christmas, my doctor texted me. There you go. Askern Medical Practice is a

surgery center in Doncaster on December 23rd. This is crazy. This is nuts. It texts patients with an unusual request to fill out a DS 1500 form. Okay. I'm just going to say this. On the flip side of this, and we've told this story before. The good news is

you don't have cancer. Right. So it's going to be a great second test. Well, as far as we know, you you actually may some of them probably do but the stuff that goes to your brain so when we were in new york i'm sure we told the story on here our friend scott landsman did a one of the greatest pranks ever on our other friend eric friedman with the lottery was like up to 100 million dollars in new york and we all bought tickets and we were like they're about to read the lotto numbers and our buddy who lived with us eric went into the bathroom and scott took these like i'll take down the numbers he said if it go if it comes on i'll take down the numbers so he took down he wrote

one of the numbers of his like of his like eighth thing not the top number what a thing and then just turns off the tv before they read the numbers. And he goes, uh, they read them. Let's go out. And, and I wrote it down. And then he's like,

you wrote like the entire series, but kind of shifting around a little bit. Right. So he goes in the bathroom and our friend Eric comes out to just look at the numbers and starts reading through his numbers. And he's like, Oh my God, I won Scott. I won Scott.

And he starts losing his shit and for a brief second he's like i had won a hundred million dollars my life was going to be different forever and then he's like scott scott and scott can't can't read because he's cracking up so much and he hears him laughing he's like you son of a bitch but for that three seconds so I don't know how long it is in between texts here but these people are like my life is over I just want to say that who is the person who played the prank Scott

Scott played it on Eric so Scott played it on Eric yep Eric is well within his rights to 39 years from now 100% everything this that's everything that Scott owns on well within his rights to 39 years from now. 100%. Everything that Scott owns on fire.

That is unforgivable. He did forgive him. It was so cruel. It was hilarious. On the 23rd, they sent out a form that allows patients with terminal conditions to claim benefits quickly. They didn't just send a text.

They sent this form. You have something terminal. This is how you can claim benefits. So on Christmas Eve, instead of wrapping the presents for your kids, why don't you fill out a bunch of paperwork? Also, good luck getting a hold of these doctors. It's Christmas Eve. Oh, yeah.

Diagnosis. It was the day before, but. Aggressive lung cancer with metastases oh the message said according to the bbc askern has around how many patients do they send that message you said thousands so i'm gonna give it at me 4,500 i'm gonna say 6,700 wait where in the uk is this askern a-s-k-e-r-n uh i feel like i've never that doesn't sound like a neighborhood in london and i kind of feel it doesn't feel like it's a town that i've heard of so it's probably going to be on the smaller so i'm going to go lower okay i'm going to go i'm going to go 1800

1800 all right they have get your answers in 8 000 oh my god sent that message to 8 000 people oh my god the message i guess you at least you still have the group you know i mean you saved the group chat so to speak so the met the message was a mistake no shit obviously except for the person who actually does it who found it out and the scent and the center texted out an apology directly how long okay so this is after the initial minutes i think 10 minutes it takes it takes a half an hour to even understand what's happening right so i think i'm going but you're gonna try to jump on that quickly so i'm gonna go 55 minutes later minutes i think two days wow well come. Someone's doing this on Christmas. And it's like a Christmas miracle.

Okay. They wait till Christmas to go, Merry Christmas. You actually don't have cancer unless you think you actually might. In which case, here's how you can schedule an appointment. What'd you say? How many minutes? Ten. Ten?

He said two days. One of you is close. Okay. The answer is about an hour. So you might actually be right. He's right. About an hour so you might you're right i mean he's right about an hour dead on according to the text the surgery center meant to wish its patient patients well by dead on i mean you're all going to be dead how does that they're not even close we meant to wish you

well have a happy holiday like wouldn't you eat a fruit cake joking if you got the first text that person it's it's they want to get out of the office. It's the holidays. They're copying and pasting. They have two windows open. One is everybody you're emailing. The other one is texting. The other one is someone you have to text who already knows this information and needs this stuff.

And they fucking flipped it. They did it to the group. We are asked as human beings to multitask too much. The modern world asks us to do too many things at the same time. You're probably listening to this while driving. Or doing eight things. So I say this all the time. Or sending out a text to your house.

Or walking into the ocean. Yes. Or riding a swan to your house. Or burning a Jeep on fire. No, I say this whenever I get on a plane and forget my charger. I'm like, I'm being asked to do too many things. Yes. Remember when Sheryl Crow at the world series,

like several years ago was like playing harmonica and playing guitar. And she was setting up her microphone. I'm like, can someone please do this for her? She's doing too much. Somebody's got to do one of those things. One of those things. Get a person out there to work on that.

I know she's a solo artist, but don't let her help her. Please accept our sincerest apologies for the previous text message sent. Is that enough? No, not enough. Well, you wanted to get

something out right away. The apology says, this has been sent in error. Our message to you should have read, we wish you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Our message should have read, you have slightly aggressive. No, our message should have read, we're all going to die at some point. Yeah. Eventually. But Happy New Year. No one our message should have read, we're all going to die at some point. Yeah. Eventually. Happy New Year.

No one lives forever. Happy New Year. I don't think there is ever enough. So I think the best thing to do is just to, all I can say is I'm very sorry. Because in 8,000, let's just be generous. 50% of those people, the like, sorry, mistake are going to go, okay, whatever. And then you've now you're, then you have to start willing it out, mistake are going to go. Okay. Whatever. And then you've now you're,

then you have to start willing it out of who is going to nag at you about this mistake. Yeah. He's going to try and sue you. Clear as many off the table as you can right away. And then just start individually. Yes. We understand.

No, you can't legally sue us. We didn't do anything really wrong and you don't have cancer. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy.

The followup message on the surgery center, anything really wrong and you don't have cancer yeah yeah yeah yeah it's crazy the follow-up message on the surgery center facebook account on january 3rd blamed both human error and computer related issues while no data was breached we can confirm that an admin staff error was made for which we apologize immediately upon becoming aware of we said we would like to once again apologize sincerely to all that's not enough no i would have thrown more in there i like i hope this moment of facing your own mortality really makes you perspective. So really you're welcome.

Yeah. A new lease on life. You're welcome. It's like a fight club. How about I know where you live now. I have your ID. Go do whatever you're supposed to go do with your life. I mean, I would send out another message saying goodbye.

It's been a pleasure serving you as your, as your medical facility. We can help you find. Everybody's going. We can refer to you to other people because we're closing shop. But you know what? Maybe that's like a, you go to some other place. That's like, if you've been on a plane that crashes and you survived, you're never going to have to worry about a plane crash again.

You go to the place that sent out the fucked up text message. Now they're never going to do that again. That's right. Yeah, that's right. That's right. You buy low. You buy low. It was an internal patient supportive task among admin staff to act upon and not related to you as a patient anyway.

This was an isolated computer related error for which we are extremely regretful. Steps are being taken to prevent a recurrent reoccurrence. I you got to say more than that yeah the apologies do not lessen the shock askern's patients felt for that hour on december 23rd between the first and second message i just quote i just had a mole removed and was awaiting a result from a biopsy that's the worst case my smear test came back and abnormal So yes, I was very worried. One woman told the BBC. Yeah, she's allowed. So yeah, like you could feel the, yeah, I was worried. But also, you know how your bank will never initiate any sort of conversation or correspondence via email or a letter, right?

You get an email, right? If no, no medical profession will ever text you. Hey, you have cancer. Yeah, nobody. That's a conversation in a closed room. They will try to call you every day for a month and then start calling you twice a day. That's true. Bad news, LOL.

That is on. Yeah, they should not have put an emoji, a poop emoji after it, but I feel like that's whatever. Whatever. No, but there is the, like in a marriage and in a relationship, we all know that like you kind of want to... We need to talk is the worst thing that you can hear. That's the worst thing you can hear.

So someone having bad news or wanting to... Usually they want to tell it face to face. So I think you're right. But the flip side of that is when you have the upper hand over someone who's really screwed up in your relationship, that's a good position to be in. Oh, yeah. Because you can show up at that office or you can call the doctor and be like,

yeah, I need to talk to you about something. And no, I won't wait. Yeah. You show up to the office for your checkup and you're like, tell him to get his ass in here. I don't want to sit on that thing.

Yeah. A lot of people are starting to demand a lot of, they're going to be dicks for a while and they got to sit in it. They got to take it. You earned it. You just got to eat that. You got to eat that shit. You got to eat that shit.

You got to eat it. You made that Merry Christmas. I bet Christmas morning felt pretty great to all these people. It did. you just gotta eat that you gotta eat that shit you gotta eat that shit you gotta eat it you made that merry christmas i bet christmas morning felt pretty great to all these people it did it's like when you lose your wallet and then find it uh you're learning real leaning real hard into the you're welcome part of this dan is all about you're welcome on that silver line we did you a favor no harm we made you appreciate your life you lost your wallet and then you found it that money's worth more appreciate your life face this is the this yeah made you appreciate your life. You lost your wallet, and then you found it. That money's worth more to you. You appreciate your life. This is the... Yeah.

There you go. It's a wonderful life. That's a show. And it's a wonderful podcast. Second in command, that is the podcast. Right here on All Things Comedy. Yeah, All Things Comedy. Check it out.

Subscribe to it. If you love Veep, and you love these guys. Do you want to hear them talk about life in Baltimore? Oh, hell yeah. Oh, hell yeah. You know, I have such a soft spot for Baltimore. Sure. I love Baltimore. I mean, like, it's rough living in that, like, you know i have such a soft spot for baltimore sure it's it's i mean

like it's rough living in that like you know it's a hard like when you don't live there and you're just kind of going in for a couple months it can be like oh my god i'm just the most depressed i've ever been but i really do love that city it's a great it's very much like st louis where we grew up but just shifted on to the east coast yeah uh go watch the movie diner and that'll get you on the ball. Balmer mood or go listen to a Ryan Sickler podcast. Dude, you are so great. I'm so happy you were here with us.

Thank you for coming back. You're invited back. Anytime. And, uh, Oh shit. We got to get back to work guys.