Dumb People Town - Todd Glass - Major Factor in an Unusual Situation

Episode Date: January 2, 2018

This week, comedian Todd Glass joins the Sklars and Daniel Van Kirk in Dumb People Town! In Story #1, a bizarre incident involving a man covered in deer blood. Story #2 brings us a self-taught rocket scientist / limo driver. Story #3 is the tale of a...

Dan and Ran and Jay will share Tales of folks so unaware They lack in grace and sometimes choose The life they choose will make the news Breaking down each epic fail In Florida there's half-price bail I'm happy to say they Couldn't make this up

So listen to our podcast jam With co-host Armand Dan Banders, don't be a jerk Cause when the music hits the funny So listen to our podcast jam with co-host Armand Dan. And Dirk, don't be a jerk. That's when the music, which the funny hits, and we are gonna take you down. Stick around, make a sound, come to Downey's Dumb People Town. Hey Townies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population you.

Population Todd Glass. Todd Glass, you are here with us One of our favorite comics For years We've been Our friendship in the industry Goes back 20 years Okay

20 plus now I feel like Where was it Aspen Where we sort of Got to know each other Yes And we talked Jerry Lewis

And we talked Rickles And that was where We connected on all that stuff But I know we met Way before that At the Even at the at the comedy in princeton new jersey yeah you when you came on stage and did one of our bits as your opening bit and then you committed to it for like 10 minutes or seven minutes and you were like did the scholars do my fucking bit did they do my god damn those

sons of bitches and the crowd thought that we were the biggest thieves of your material. It was such a great joke that was only perpetrated for our benefit. And we are laughing in the back like crazy and also thinking these people don't like us. But you just played it and committed to it perfectly, which is actually a great bridge to the current special that we saw. First of all, we got to see you do live at the improv lab you it was so great because you called us out on the side just i love that you guys were there so we had a set we had a set up at the strip and then we had another one down at the improv we're like yeah we can hang out at the strip but we knew that you were doing your show at the lab excuse me at the store and then we we knew that you were doing your show now we want to watch the show

and we sat down and it was so wonderful just to sit and watch you work the show which is very similar if not all the material most of the material right it kind of similar in form to your special that will be coming out on netflix you know i don't really you throw it all out right away i hope it works i hope i'm not del. I always say, if someone comes back a year later, I'll have like 40% new material. That's what we do. So before I did stand-up, unless I'm delusional, if I went back to see, now I did tell my close friends, I honestly said this, I go, listen, if I'm not doing that, like be honest with me.

Yeah, tell me. Just say, I have a theory, you have to beg your friends for honest feedback, not ask for it. Yes. Because if you remind them on the road, like, hey, if there's a bit I do, I always say that to somebody. And you have to remind them because after the show, everybody wants to have fun. You don't want to go, hey, you know that bit you do. But if you remind them, they'll tell you. And 99, if not 100% of the time, I go, I know, I need to get rid of that.

I got to get rid of that old one. So I said the same thing with material. I go, if I'm way off and behind my back affectionately, you're going, it's not 40% after a year. Tell me. But that's what I comfortably write new material at. Instead of trying to, not that I could get a new Netflix special every year, but even if I could, I wouldn't enjoy my life. Right. Like I like to slowly shed it.

And then when you actually are getting ready, it's like three, four years later, you're getting ready to do another special and you know it's coming. Yeah. It rushes you to pick it up a little. Perfected. And absolutely. Well, this special and Jay and I and Dan, Dan, you sent us the link. I showed it. You showed us the link and we sat in my kitchen on Dan's phone and watched the top of the

show. I'm just going to tease it for people because when this comes out, when's it dropping? On January 23rd. Okay. show i'm just going to tease it for people because when this comes out when's it dropping on on january 23rd okay so it'll be in a couple when this will drop like a couple weeks a week or two before so it when it comes out uh you guys everybody rush and see it when it drops rate it five stars pass along it is everything i love about comedy and everything I love about what you do. I think it's the purest version of you and form of you. There are jokes about the room and the setup and what you have set up with the band and everything. There are jokes of you passing out sheet music to the band and the Todd Glass bits that to me are like, only you can make that joke.

Only you can do that. The band, you know, I've been trying to insert, before this, I was going on the road and getting bands in different cities, like two-piece band, three-piece band, and two hours before the doors open, we just go over some stuff. And I find out what they know. It's not like me go play this to intro me. Maybe there's two songs ahead of time I give them. You got to know these two.

Other than that, I'm like, what are some songs you know i go great we'll use that for my intro well you give me something else upbeat i'll be like no no no but having a band that travels with me is what's going to probably change even if it's a keyboard and drummer because now i have the taste you can do more when the same band is with you every night they can jump in on the very interaction with you and and what we saw at the improv lab is so good. So what's the name of the special? And real quick, it's hard to explain, but I know I'm the stand-up, so it's funny saying it this way,

but it's basically you're going out to see a stand-up comedian, obviously. Sure. But then it's like watching sketch. It's not sketch where it's necessarily, I'm the father, you're the mother. No, no, no. But you see what we do when we're on stage. We're doing a

stand-up premise, but then suddenly we're now in a scene between the two of us. You're doing, you're about to go into a stand-up bit, and you get sidetracked by another thing, a sketch thing that you do with the band. The band is basically, you know, Sarah Silverman said it the best, she goes,

it's almost like you have this group of people. They look like serious musicians, and they are. And they're amazing. But they have a great sense of humor. So it's like all they do is lie all night long. I go, did you remember the song? They say, yeah. I go, no, guys, do you think I write a lot of new material?

And they're all just lying and making up shit. And they're always just so. They're like a Greek chorus almost. In the funniest way, they answer you in the way. And usually we expect the Greek chorus to be truthful. So it's really funny that they are just there in on the bit. They're bullshitting you in the funniest way. And it's and it's just in the power of going out and having the band.

And plus, I love it. Comedy clubs. People are not ready. You know, I did it in D.C. over the weekend. I did this. They have a 75 seat room. Then they also have their 300-seat room. I did the 75-seat room.

I had a three-piece band. We just gave the whole room a cool look. They gelled every light blue. Is this in the Arlington Cinema Drafthouse? No, this was in the lounge at the D.C. Improv. Oh, amazing. But they don't know it. All of a sudden, they walk into this room, and it's really thick blue.

The whole room is blue, and they're being sat, and B and bb king's playing yeah and then the band goes up two minutes before the show amazing and i'm like it's this it's like the show you would see in front of 5 000 people but in a little room so we loved it so much and it represented in our opinion and it's a difficult thing to do when you've been in comedy as long as we all have you've been in it a little longer than us to evolve what you're doing to the next level. That's exactly what you did. It's amazing. We'll talk more about it.

We'll talk more about it. What's the name of the special? The name of the special is Act Happy. Act Happy. Why Act Happy? Why? Well, you'll see. I gotta see it.

There was, I wanted to call it, and you'll see it in the special itself, but I don't know. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I should have stuck to my guns, but I wanted to call it suck my pigeon dick which

fine in the special I go there's a joke when I go suck my pigeon dick and I go you know what

that's what we should call the special but they said it might lose I actually think you should have called the special that's what we should

have called the special alright this is dumb people town you've joined us and I'm so happy you've joined us because nobody riffs like you. And what we know

is that the world is getting dumber. It's just getting dumber around us. The world is in flames literally and figuratively as the dumbness washes over.

All we have is our comedy to defend against it and that's what we try and do. So our dumb ears on the ground send us the stories to Dan Van Kirk.

We've never heard him before. We've never heard him before. You've never heard him before. Dan knows the stories and we are what we try and do. So our dumb ears on the ground send us the stories to Dan Van Kirk. We've never heard them before. We've never heard them before. You've never heard them before. Dan knows the stories, and we are going to try and make sense of what these people are doing. Daniel, what do we have first? This is a fun story.

It was sent in by Brandon Coffran at DeLorean Tardis. I don't understand any of that. DeLorean Tardis. Oh, okay. People are yelling at me for what I'm saying wrong, and I don't care. I think DeLorean Tardis. Oh, okay. People are yelling at me for what I'm saying wrong, and I don't care.

I think DeLorean is Back to the Future, and Charlize Theron was in that movie. Okay. Mason County, Michigan. A man is behind bars after deputies responded to what the Mason County Sheriff is calling, quote, an extremely bizarre incident. So you know when the police in Michigan are saying this is an extremely bizarre, and they've seen most everything. On a Monday afternoon.

Not when you're expecting people to be going off the rail. It'd be like an emergency room doctor saying, guess what I saw a guy put in his ass. Like, uh-oh. Because they see everything. You don't want to hear anybody who's been a veteran of any job say uh-oh right even especially a pilot a pilot excuse me sorry my mic was on well we already know it's i don't know sorry my mic was on well i mean but by the way that is the ultimate situation

where they've seen everything like you've been on a plane and you're traveling to a gig and it drops like 200 feet and you're like this is it we're dead but the pilot knows that hey that's just the cloud we went through and i've been through a zillion of these clouds and it's no big deal if he's like oh shit then you're in problem sheriff kim cole said deputies were called to the ez mart bp gas station in Scottville. One S is the difference between Michigan and Arizona. Scottville. Well, that's Scottsdale.

I'm trying to guess what it is. What is it? What happened? Oh, you're right. On US 10, for a man wandering in the parking lot covered in deer blood. There you go. How do you end up in the gas station? Like, whatever ritualistic thing you were into at your house, what happened that you're like, I need to run to the EZ Mart really quick?

Is this the Masons? I don't know what the Masons do anymore, but is this the Mason? Is this part of, like, a Mason... You mean a ritual? Yeah. Is it, like, he covering... Wait, you know the answer to this? Why?

He does. No. We'll get there, but... You honestly don't? Okay, but let me put it together, because it's actions. It's all actions that are happening. So so he covers himself in deer blood maybe or the deer he shoots a deer and it just explodes on him fine you've got deer blood all over you you're gonna go to the easy mart maybe you want to pick up a hostess cupcake or something maybe some paper towels the the

problem is he's work chapstick what if we can get in the way of the story for no reason? He might have chap lips. He might need some chapstick. He might want to go for those. He'd probably go for Carmax over. Maybe he wants to buy Advil two at a time. Sure. It's so expensive. It kills me every time.

$10 for two pills. And I want three, so I got to open the second one. And I go, fuck it, just take four. What are you going to do? You take four second one and I go fuck it just take four what are you gonna do you take four you just say fuck it take four do you have an even

smaller bottle of mouthwash I want half a drink no I only want half of my mouth to smell good the wandering around the parking lot is the thing

that's the thing it was like if he just went in and shopped with purpose when he just went in and shopped with purpose. If he just went in and shopped with purpose, you're like, oh, you just had a bad day.

You got squirted by deer. Yeah. But if the wandering around the parking lot tells you that something's wrong. Even if he wasn't in deer blood and he was wandering around the parking lot,

someone would be like, what's this guy doing? I think he tried to kill a deer by hand and lost. Well, I didn't see the deer. He lost. That's what the deer said.

You should see the other deer. Yeah, right. Witnesses said the man then sat in the front seat of a car that did not belong to him. There you go. You're covered in blood.

Oh, you can't do that. Some people get mad if you lean on their car. I know. By the way, I'm not a guy that gets mad when people lean on my car. No.

All I care about is when I come out and I'm getting in the car, make some attempt to go, okay, this is this guy's car and get off of it. Yeah, I'll admit it. If I get out of a store and someone's leaning on my car and it's obviously my car and they keep leaning on it but if they get off of it, you know,

they're like, sorry. I go, oh, that's okay. That's okay. I'm not a guy that goes, excuse me. People need to lean on stuff. They're tired. People need to lean on stuff. Maybe he needed to sit down. People need to lean on stuff. People need to. Imagine filling up your gas. People need to lean on stuff. Maybe he needed to sit down. People need to lean on stuff. People need to sit down.

But I was saying, yeah, but in that case, I might get a little upset. If he's just covered in deer blood and sitting in your front seat. Sitting in my car. Riding shotgun. This to me says, lock your door. Even if you're going in for a second to get some chapstick, lock your door when you're at the, don't leave your door open. Oh, by the way, one time I left my window open and I went into i went into subway and a guy came in real quick real quick yeah sure sure he goes oh who has the uh the the volvo station wagon blue i said no i do cross country no big deal

anyway uh i said i do he goes well you left your window open there's a lot of stuff in the front seat and i was real appreciative i I was like, you know what? I get lazy with that. Like, this was a good way to learn. He saw it. He noticed it. If he was a bad person, he goes, thank you very much. And I said, thank you.

Thank you. I get lazy with that. I ran out. I locked it up. When I get back in, he goes, I got to be honest with you. Two years ago, I was a different person. I would have probably taken that shit. I was like, oh, you don't have to let me know.

And then I used to have a joke where I'd go, that would be like if you saw some dog. First of all, why do I have to go right to this? But that's all. That would be like if you were at a dog park and some guy goes, hey, I'd be careful. You know, keep your dog closer to you. That's all. Two years ago, I would have fucked it. Well, sir, I'm glad you overcame that.

I didn't need to get that. I changed. Yeah, I changed. If you change and you just change, you don't have to tell people what you used to be capable of. And also, you don't have to alert me what you might relapse into. I think that's what happened. I think it was sort of his way of going, hey, I just want you to know, I could have done it. I had it up.

I had the time. You were ordering your sandwich. So I'm more telling you what I didn't do. What I didn't do, but which I still could. I have the name of Todd Glass's next special. Todd Glass,

the warning would have been enough. Yeah, right. The warning is enough. So back to this dear blood. Sitting in the front seat, bloody. Witnesses said the man

sat in the front seat of a car that did not belong to him. Probably took a deep breath. I hope somebody was like trying to get it right to $19 and not paying attention

that someone was getting in their car covered in blood. Oh, this is at the pump? Yeah. What? Someone's at a pump? Yeah, this is at the Easy Mart BP gas station.

I know, but you could have been parked in the front and gawked in the store and then you come out and there's a bloody guy. If you're parking in the front, you are either there for lottery tickets or cigarettes. That's right. Or both. What's the name of this store? The Easy Mart BP gas station in Scottville. Scottville. Scottville. S-C-O-T-ville.

They wanted to make sure this is one entire sentence. This happened around 3 p.m. Monday afternoon. Okay. Which I feel like is a commentary on them being like, guys,

this is 3 o'clock on a Monday afternoon. 3 p.m. on a Monday afternoon tells me this guy does not have a job. He's hunting during the day. Maybe hunting's his job. Maybe hunting's his job.

According to the sheriff, the man left and went to a trailer next door to the gas station. Convenient living. Is that where he lives? If he lived here, you'd be home by now. There you go. When deputies got there, they noticed Blood in the Yard and Steps and my favorite

Johnny Cash song. Oh, it is a good one. Favorite U2 album. It was actually my favorite Bob Dylan album. Go ahead, what? we have a running joke it's either that's my first country hit that was my I was in a jazz trio

that was our name or it was a comedy team's name and whenever we're like my friend the other day goes well I'll have peanut butter but not with jelly

and then you have to decide okay you just do it inwardly you don't say that was my first country hit that was my I was in a jazz trio peanut butter but not jelly.

He's like, well, what is that? It's just all hi-hats. No regular drums, just all hi-hats. When deputies got there, they noticed blood in the yard, on the steps, and on the front door of the trailer. That's detective work. It's Passover. Just follow the block. That's Pesach.

It's Passover. Want the angel of death to go over the... Yes. Deputies knocked on the front door, and the man rushed at the deputies screaming at them. So he came out hot. He came out hot. He came out hot. He was waiting. He was waiting. I can just imagine him bloody

sitting down in the front seat of the car and just taking a deep breath. In his attempt to run at the deputies... You're gonna be fine. In his attempt to run at the deputies he fell off the porch. You kind of lose a lot of your steam when you've embarrassed yourself trying to do something dramatic. I had so much respect for him before that. Now I'm not so sure anymore.

I was really on board with every move. Do you think the cops were kind of like, brace themselves, then he slips probably on his, the deer blood falls off the porch and the cops are like, alright, just get up. Come on, let's go. Can I tell you something I just realized? The reason I don't mind hearing the end of a movie is because I can enjoy the movie if I know what's going to happen at the end better. So people just go, I don't want to ruin it.

I go, no, you won't ruin it. You'll make me be able to watch it. I am so wondering how this ended that I can't really enjoy it as much as I want to because I'm like, what happened? I don't want to over curse.

The man fell off the porch and fought with the deputies in the front yard. So he got up still ready to go. They were probably like, you fell. It didn't work out. Oh, you still want to fight? Come on. Here we go. Roy Purple. That's his name? That's his name.

That's the name of my first country album. I was in a jazz trio. Yeah, the Roy Purples. The Purple Sessions were unbelievable. Did you guys hear that, speaking of Purple, they're releasing found 68 to 1970 Jimi Hendrix recordings? What? Wow. Speaking of Purple, I just saw, never saw Prince doing purple rain when it started pouring

rain at the Super Bowl. At the Super Bowl? Unbelievable. Never saw it. Never saw it? A week ago. That was amazing. I had the chills.

I was like, wow, that made me want to be a better performer. Yeah. To me, it made me think that Prince could control the weather. To me, it made me feel like it's worth the Bears losing this. Yeah, I forgot. I'm sorry. I don't care. Deputies knocked on the front door.

The man rushed at them. He fought. Then Roy Purple was arrested for attacking the deputies. Deputies spoke with four people at the scene who they say the typo in this is perfect for what they were trying to write. Okay. Deputies spoke with four people at the scene that they say were extremely intoxicate. Yeah. There.

There. So they say he was intoxicated or the four people were? The four people were. Extremely intoxicated. So imagine those cops being like,

might I talk to you for a minute? You ain't gonna talk to anybody. Yeah. Like, we just want to talk to you about a man covered in blood. Get off my lawn. You're the man covered in blood.

Get off my lawn. You guys see what happened here? Did you see what happened here? Just four Foster Brooks's. Yeah, just hammered. You know what? I think I'm going to go. Sorry, I'm going to go talk to these four witnesses over here.

They'll shed some light on it. No, you shut up. I'm doing the back room. First and foremost. Sir, stop making CB noises at me. I'm the police officer. I didn't hear your radio. I wanted to...

You don't have a radio? You don't have a radio? You don't have a radio. I do. Okay, you're still doing it. I just need to get a statement from any of you people. That would be great. Put the radio back on the thing.

Sir, you're making those... Are you calling me intoxicated? That's how you get out of getting a ticket now. You know what you do? When they come up to your car, you go, Officer, I've got to be honest with you. I think you're pulling me over those know me intoxication get out of getting a ticket now you know what you do when they come up to your car you go officer i gotta be honest with you i think you're pulling me over just because i'm black and he goes you're not black i go you know what i like the way you think bye i'll see you later sir open your window no i like the way you think and you're not black god i love the way you think it's just you're all people bye bye and then they'll that's fine i mean the best part is they will not there's no way to identify you after that point thank you none at all you got it all uh sorry i love that all no don't ever

apologize god there is no apologies i do have a question so all yeah what is it i'll wait till after this no no no go for now oh okay to my safe word, whatever it is here today. All I kept thinking is, do you... No, no, no, no, no. Do you really think the world's getting dumber, though? Yeah. Yes. See, I don't.

Why? Now, do you think... Do you ever not say it, and then you think, maybe we should have said it. Maybe it's interesting. Do you not say it because it'll cause conflict? Or do you say it... No, I genuinely think the world is getting well i think i can maybe clarify what you mean a little bit i think dumb is winning right now don't like it's paying

to be dumb like if you're a dumb person and you support and you wanted to win the election last year you won like the dumb of the south the of wherever, the dumb within this country who are like, let's get this guy. It'll be funny. Like they won. Well, maybe there's winning going on on the dumb side. Maybe it would be interesting because this is like, you know, by the way, these stories, you know, obviously you can you can you can discuss them because it doesn't matter if you think the world in whole is getting number. These are certainly stories. It doesn't.

No, no, no. Because I love hearing these stories and they're trying to figure out what's going on. stories it doesn't negate because I love hearing these stories and they're trying to figure out what's going on so it doesn't negate that but maybe I don't but maybe I should have you two guys on my on a show like sometimes I drop just issue oriented shows so I don't have to do it in the middle

of my you know the show where it's silly sometimes in the middle of it if it's two or three minutes yeah we'll choose something up but then go back to the more light hearted show but maybe I should have you on instead of right now and but and how and discuss it because i feel the complete now i get topically how it can look that way yeah i get topically how we can think that it's not like if you know if i don't say that i'll lose everybody if i don't go no topically i understand but i can i adamantly disagree and i think it's the destruction of the world that every person thinks that the world is getting dumber and dumber but when we look back at the

evolution of the world even though some you know some egregious if we would just want to sloppily call it dumb or hateful or misinformation leads to people's pain yeah yes i get that but still if we look back at the history of the world we'd never want to go backwards but yet in the moment i think you would agree like what what year would you want to go back to and by the way just so you look i'm being a little little snarky yeah yeah make sure you include uh the way we treated everybody which most people do and they go we want to go backwards how we're women how we're blind people how we're yeah people yeah so what year would you want to go back to maybe 90s somewhere in the 1990s go on youtube spend an hour and you'll be like oh maybe i don't know the 90s we lived in the 90s 90s mid 90s way better than it is now like what would you look

would you look at uh better before uh women's rights gay rights uh where transgender people were just are you looking at just how it was for you? No, no, no. By the way, I think it's, I think you could make the argument that now, yes, there's more awareness of all those things, but there is a tremendous backlash by the majority of our massive part of our country and the world to now say, you've got too much. Squash that down. Yes, we heard you. Fine. I think also the delegitimization of the media

and the calling of regular media fake news and then the propping up of actual fake news as real news. That is the downfall of everything. That is going to make everything that's going on right now way worse than ever. You go back to the 70s and say that's a better time because people believed in facts. People believed in the truth. The truth actually meant something.

Even Richard Nixon. Even Nixon was like, there were people in the thing who said, and he even said, he admitted to, there's admission of, to me, all of that is completely being eroded away right now. Maybe we should do that. Instead of like, you know, like now you could say this was a tease and then, because I never have anyone on my show that agrees, that disagree, someone you care about or love, you know, I could say love, yeah, in the comedy community, your fellow comedians, you have an affection for, and then hear the opposing point of view.

Love it. Because I think to really discuss it in its entirety, where you're able to listen and not just talk, you have enough time. So let's tease it here, and then you'll come on my show, and I would love it. Because I think if you were to line up issue-wise, issue, issue, issue,

I would say 90% of the issues of the world, if you line them up, the three of us would be on the same page but this is a big thing a big perspective of how we view the world and i'd say the three of us dan we agree i dan and jay and i believe wholeheartedly i think that the world's getting done do you agree or disagree uh if you want to be specific i feel like it's getting more ignorant because the ability now is that you put that under the dumb yeah so yeah that's what i'm saying it's a kind of this is a wonderful sidebar but it's like you you what's

happening in today's society is people are choosing how much information they get and exactly where it comes from so like denzel washington said we no longer seek information we seek affirmation so somebody could say oh i didn't hear about that or i didn't read that thing because they they keep their phone and for their screen in front of their face and they choose to see whatever they want on Facebook. Whereas if you went back 25, 30 years ago, the news was the fucking news. So if you didn't know what was going on because you didn't read the Houston Chronicle or the Chicago Tribune or the L.A. Times, people would be like, how could you not know about this thing? So people have the ability to choose to be more ignorant or only hear more of what they already believe rather than any sort of dissenting opinion or view.

And that keeps people from thinking, having more constructive thoughts. And open-minded thoughts. Yeah. Now, so... But it's hard. It's hard to cap it. But I think that's a good point

because everybody got there. But I cannot wait to have this conversation. Let's do it i can't wait can i say one more thing quick of course i think that like i always say to audiences that there's somebody in this room that is alive literally not just comedically because someone looked at things not topically like topically you're like your tooth can hurt here so topically it looks like let's drill here yeah where where was your point to where it hurts and how could you do anything wrong by drilling there but dentists know thank god they figured

it out that the pain might be over here it's diverted pain but that happens a lot you have a doctor he doesn't look at something topically and then you're alive because it topically it looked like oh this is definitely it absolutely positively it you get a brilliant doctor who doesn't look at it topically looks at it from another angle looks at it and i think that's how social issues are so the reason you're a lot of time because topically no flippantness at all i hear what all three of you're saying matter of fact you're saying smart things i think you're wrong and i think they should be answered but you're right to ask them you're absolutely right and you deserve a brilliant answer which takes a lot of time but the thing the joke i have in my act that I think answers this, the peanut allergy thing.

Like, topically, yes, I really do. I'm not being flippant to say there weren't peanut allergies 50 years ago. That's a smart, wrong, but it's a smart thing to say. And someone else smart. Smart, not dumb. Smart people, intelligent, could go, you're right. There weren't peanut allergies 50 years ago. Come on. people intelligent could go you're right there weren't peanut allergies 50 years ago come on if that doesn't make you think this is fake that it's not real topically but then if you widen the scope

and look at it from another angle you go oh we didn't have peanut allergies 50 years ago but we did have a lot of unexplained deaths that's yeah have you heard burr's bit no he's like yeah you walk right you say, everybody's... I think peanut allergies are real. That's what he goes. He goes, you think they're so smart. Oh, nobody died 50 years ago. We didn't have any kid peanut. He's like, no. You just had a friend who died for no reason and nobody ever knew why.

Right. So that's what I mean. And I think that's what this is, which we'll discuss on my show. Topically, I see how you're thinking people are getting dumber and dumber. But I think if you look at it from another angle, and that's what we'll do, talk about a tease. All right, let's finish this thing up.

Let's do it. So they hang out with four people who they thought would be their witnesses who are all drunk, who can't help in any way whatsoever. Of course. I didn't even see blood on them. Witnesses say the initial man

deputies made contact with at the gas station was covered in blood and waving around deer meat. So he had deer meat with him the whole time. He's probably trying to make a sale. He's a meat truck salesman without the truck, but definitely the meat. That's right. There was a bait. We used to go fishing.

There was a guy who sold bait on the side of the road. This is the way he sells his deer meat. He's trying to attract other bigger animals. Maybe he was trying to bait a predator himself. And I literally mean predator. Literally to catch a predator. So this is to catch an actual animals. Maybe he was trying to bait a predator himself, and I literally mean predator. So this is to catch a actual predator. The predator. An actual predator. The men

were apparently cooking venison in the backyard. Sheriff Cole said alcohol was a major factor in the unusual situation. Major factor in the unusual situation is almost every dumb people town story. And again, if the trailer is out in the woods somewhere and nowhere near a gas station

where regular people come and do it, fine, go and enjoy yourself. Walk around with blood all over you in the woods. That's very tribal. That's what they say. Have you eaten deer meat ever? Oh, hell yeah. Yes, yes.

More times than I could ever count. Yeah, I never have. It's actually pretty good. I'll get you some. It's steak-ish. I've had venison jerky. Is it gamey? Like a buff bison?

No. Bison is a little more gamey. Okay. But the deer, venison is actually pretty good. It tastes like veal, almost, if you will. According to Sheriff Cole, until the one individual chose to run at the deputies, he had landed himself in trouble. I hope that's a joke on the fact that he fell. Also, that's what they're saying, that that's fine.

They're like, if he had just walked around, I mean, yeah, we could have said he was a disturbance, but he didn't. He got up and started fighting cops. And then, yeah, sat in somebody's car.

You could have just been a weird guy with meat. Yeah. There's plenty of weird guys with meat in Michigan. Weird guy with meat with blood on him in a parking lot

gets a warning. Right. Drunk, cookout, sitting in cars, fighting cops, you get busted. Also, to me, the blood all over him feel like i've i've

cooked i've worked at a bar you know like done barbecue before and even grilled on the grill you don't get that much blood on you you know what i mean like you have to work at a butcher shop yeah yeah that's what i'm saying he might address the deer but also if you get blood all over you address the deer you're also you're doing it wrong. You're doing it, trust me. You do? Yes. This is what I love with the cop, says, sometimes all you can do is just shake your head and walk away. No, you're the cop. No, you don't get to walk away. That's what we do. That's what we do. We shake

our head. Well, he's crazy. Guys, let's go. He says you can't make... That's actually something you can never do as a cop. Yeah, you can't shake your head and walk away. Then he says you can't make this stuff up. You also can make this stuff up. Yes, you could make this stuff up. Yes! I love that when comedians go, you can't shake your head and walk away. Then he says, you can't make this stuff up. You also can make this stuff up. Yes, you could make it up. Yes, I love that when comedians go, you can't make it up. I go, yes, you can. Yes, you can. I'll have. You make it up.

Everybody makes it up. You go, hey, it's like you couldn't make it up because you go to say it. You're like, right. So the other day I was, you can't make it up. It's like the Fonz trying to apologize. Roy Purple's Bond has been set at $3,500.

I'm going to ask you guys now. So he only needs $350 to get out. We'll get out on this. Sell the deer meat. How old is Roy Purple? Too much fun leaves marks in life. Living hard, you'll pay the price. Who is gonna get it right?

Guess the age. Guess the age. Guess the age. Now, Todd Glass, you are a guest. You can go first, you can go third, or you can go Tig, which is the second spot. Oh, just based on everything we heard. Here's what we know. Middle of the afternoon on a Monday, covered in deer blood, drinking in a trailer. Four friends.

Got friends of them. They're also drinking. So it has nothing to do with the bail amount. No. No. Okay. Just how old, which position do you want to go in? to do with the bail amount? No. No? Okay. Just how old? Which position do you want to go in?

First, last, or take? Oh, oh. Last. Last. Okay. All right. Jay, go ahead. This guy's 41 years old.

41 years old. This guy is 27 years old. I say 27 and divorced twice. Ha! Randy says 27. Jason says 41. What do you say? I know.

Oh, you know. You have to guess. You know what? Can I tell you? I love to guess. Guessing is the best. It is. All of our people who are listening at home are guessing wherever they're at right now.

It's fun to guess and there's no stakes. None. Well, there's deer meat. Thank you. Thank you, everybody. I thought what you thought. I don't know why because because I thought, I bet this guy thinks he's still like 19 and 20, but next thing you know, you're 41, and you're doing this. He's at his house.

I'm going to say, I can't agree. I have to go a little off. So I'm going to say 39. 39. Okay. 39, 41, 27. And for the hell of it, since who said they had kids? You did.

We both did. I'm going to say, do you know if he has kids? No. Oh, okay. I'm going to say no kids. No kids. No kids. Kids.

If he does, they're not speaking. It doesn't matter. I just like to guess. It's how much I like to guess. He doesn't have them this weekend. He's not speaking to his kids, but he's speaking to his kids' kids. Okay. You tell your mom. It's a 39 his kids' kids. You tell your mom.

39, I'd say. In this round of Guess the Agey, Roy Purple is... He's definitely said the phrase, you tell your mom I brought her into this world. To his granddaughter. Ready? That's a good one. Roy Purple is

62 years old. Oh, wow! Thank you. 62. Jason, get in there. That makes it even crazier to me. Because now you start to think about health issues. Now you start to think about what is this guy?

What do we hope we're doing at 62? When you're 62 years old, Todd, do you want to still be doing stand-up? What a great question. I go back when I feel like, you know, when you're 30, you When you're 62 years old, Todd, do you want to still be doing stand-up? What a great question. I go back when I feel like, you know, when you're 30, you think you're getting old. When you're 25, you think I'm not a kid anymore. Every year, you think it doesn't matter. And I love to look at the old performers, like old, like, you know, old days. Like, not like...

Rickles. And Rickles. And I bet when they were 80 and 90, they look back when they were 62 and they think, oh, I wish I was 62 again. Of course. So, yes, absolutely want to be doing stand-up when I'm 62. Absolutely. I actually feel like, again, and we'll take a break and then we'll come back, but I actually feel like where you're heading with it, especially with your special, to me, lends itself to a not more mature, but more of a show that you can grow into as you age up.

Because to me, you can go out and do stand-up right now. And I remember seeing you do stand-up 20 years ago, like we said, and there's no difference. You're the same person. You've grown a lot as a human being, but you standing on stage doing the type of material you do, there's a Todd Glass joke that was funny in 97 and it's funny in 2017 and it's the way you look at the world. Seriously, I'm seriously telling you, seriously telling you this, that that's the Todd Glass thing that makes me laugh either way.

However, the way you've added, what you've added in elements of the thing, I feel like you will grow into this and you could do this when you're 62 and 72. I have something that I want to do, but we can talk about it when we come back. All right, let's do it. Take my idea for how I would want to go on the road if I had endless amount of money. And maybe I do a, we'll talk about this. Okay, let's take a break. This is the first story down in the books.

Todd Glass, we all disagree on whether or not the world's getting dumber. I won, I can't believe I won. You won, you won. Actually, I won. Actually, Jason won. All right, and we'll be back. I won. More Dumb People Town right after this.. You won. Actually, I won. Actually, Jason won. All right. And we'll be back. I won.

More Dumb People Town right after this. I'm dying. We'll talk about it when we come back. Stick around. Make a sound. There's more Dumb People Town. Hey, guys. Welcome back to Dumb People Town.

That was a great tease, Todd. Yes. Thank you. You are passing away. We're all dying. The second you're born. You start dying. You capped everyone through the break. I really appreciate it.

I know what I'm doing. What would you do? How would you tour if you had all the money in the world to support yourself? Okay, I thought about it. Okay, so really quick. I can't go and get keyboard guys in every city now because I have to have a guy that he's got my iPad right next to him. He's got the keyboard.

He knows how to edit small videos. You have a relationship. Yeah, right. And then we use local drummers in the beginning. I knows how to edit small videos. You have a relationship. Yeah. Right. And then we use local drummers in the beginning. I can make that work. Right. And then you get maybe two people.

Well, that could work. But if I had endless amount of money. You know David Foster's? Yeah. He's like a music producer. Yeah. He came to see a show that I was opening for somebody. Was he married to a woman who was like a real housewife?

I don't think so. He's like, he's one of those guys even if you don't know his name. I think he was. Was he married to Nae Nae Leakes? No, Jason's knowledge of Bravo shows. Yeah, Jesus. So he came to the show as Jay's looking it up. And then my fantasy became, because this is a guy,

if you look up who he's produced, he's produced everybody. And then I saw him again. Yes, he was. See? Right? This dude. Right, right. That guy.

Yes, he was married to, I don't think he is anymore. Right. But he was married to, anyway. But he's still friends with Lisa Vanderpump. He's produced so many people. Stop. Yeah. Then I saw him when I went to see Paul Anka, which, by the way, we can talk about it another

time. It was the most exciting thing I've ever done. Anka. My whole career. Yeah. Anka. It was amazing. You should open for Anka.

I don't know if his audience would like it. So when he was there, I had this weird fantasy, like crazy, that he would see me, like my comedy. Because what I want to do is merging sort of music. Yeah. That if someone had the budget to do a tour where they spend money on the advertising, we put it, even if it's like 200, 300 seat theaters in the beginning. But you spend more. Like now I'm trying to make it work.

Okay, I have to go into this venue. Here's what I'll make. Where someone puts money into it. I have like a seven piece band. Amazing. We take a tour bus out for a year. Someone says, look, if he does this through every city and it's the show, like that's sort of my fantasy.

That would be amazing. Oh, I would love it. But I think if you sang eight numbers, full songs. Oh, no, no, no. I would do, it would be my stand-up. Right, but what I'm saying is if you threw the music in where you actually sing songs. I do. You have a great voice.

Well, I can, what I do is, here's what I do. I can go, you know, I'll have the band, I'll go, first I was afraid. And then the band, the chimes will go off. I was petrified. And echo, I kept thinking, how could I ever live without you? My, my, my. And then the band goes, you know. And then when I go to hit the high note and I can't do it, I stop.

I go, ah, the band effed it up. Guys, I always blame them. So I can hit a song, and then I always back out of it. So I have five songs I do throughout the show, but then when I get to the point where I need to hit another note, I go, and then I,

you goddammit, this band, stinking band, they can't rehearse. That relationship between, we were dying. I can't wait for the special to drop i cannot wait january 23rd and people will see here's what i love about but here's what i love about it here's what i love about it you when what it because we watched a little bit of the special we got an advanced thing and i saw it room looks

great looks beautiful you were having fun in the same way you were having fun at the improv lab when you when we saw you just do it and we're trying out new stuff you had moments real moments this is what i love about you there are everything is real it's not even you know you do your special and you're like this is the best version of my material but at the same time you should be having a real woman on stage i really appreciate you saying that because on the last one but again i'm not mortified by the one that i did five years ago no that was great i actually love that i'm glad that i continue to grow because i once said to a friend of mine i go when am i going to be stop being embarrassed of my work five years ago

he goes hopefully never yeah and he goes what do you want to say you know my best work was five years ago so but on the last one i did i started talking like not like do you want to say you know my best work was five years ago so but on the last one i did i started talking like not like from the 80s like you know with that over processed everybody had an over processed delivery and that was the that was it and then comedy gets more and more real and i thought on the last one no i would catch myself that's not the way i talk why am i because i was trying to keep it so polished right Right. And on this one, I literally wrote on the music stand. I had my notes. I kept turning the pages, which, by the way, that's the other thing that relaxed me. Yeah. That I had my binder. I didn't have to hide it. The turning of the page was funny. And I talked about

it. I said, don't think this is clinical, but my mind gets a little lost sometimes. This will just help me. I love this. It Makes So Much Sense. And then on the other side, big black Sharpie. I wrote, talk like you talk. That's amazing. Meaning like, don't overly polish it.

Have fun. And I remembered to have fun and it was easy to have fun. I think those shows at the lab and I think when this Netflix special drops and you get all this

great feedback, when you record at the Lyric, your special, I can't wait for your special to come no no i already i already oh guys guys this is let me just that's what we were it's gonna be perfect i thought that's what we were no no no to that show okay hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on i don't mean to be i don't hold on you're not doing anything no no no no we're ready we're ready for it we're ready for it i already todd we're ready for your show and our fans are ready for it no i feel ready for it. I already... Todd, we're ready for your show. And our fans are ready for it.

No, I feel like you're not. Let's go into another story. No, no, no. Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys. Dan, when do you have a second? No, no. Come on. Please, please, please, please.

It's fine. We got more time. We'll come back to it. We'll tell people when to line up. I shot my special already. It's airing. Wait for it. When you do it, we'll be there.

We'll be there to support you. No, no, no. No. John Doerr messed this up. No, he didn't. I already air... I shot my special November 5th a year ago. It's airing January 23rd, but it's already shot.

That will lead into you doing the special, which is a great promo for it. Dan, what do you got? You should shoot the one at the Lyric. This was sent in by Nathaniel Greenleaf. I can't believe that they're not listening. At Nathan Greenleaf. It's all the way you'd think it'd be spelled, too. All right, ready?

Todd, we'll come back. You can tell people where to line up and everything. Yeah, the whole thing. You should shoot the show you're going to do at the live. It's never fine. It's a cool venue. I'm going to read you guys this headline, and we have a contender. I'm not saying they're going to take Jan flato's spot in our town oh man oh now

but they definitely are going to like they either jan flato is a guy who was in one of these stories imagine like the deer blood guy and only a million times better a million times better he was at and for those who are listening i'm just explaining for todd so that he's up to speed, that he was at a casino with a Russian woman friend of his, and he put money, a hundred bucks into a slot machine. She pulled the lever, and that's a picture of him. You're looking at the lever, and they won $100,000. And their agreement was that they would split it in half. She took the money up to the thing. She took the money up to the thing and told the security guards,

keep him away from me because the rule is if you push the button, it's all your money. It's who places the button, not who pays for it. Wait, hold on. So this guy.

Who? This guy. Jan Flato. It was his money. It was his money, but she pushed the button. If you press the button, you get all of it.

But they had discussed earlier, I'll give you the money, we'll put it in, and then we'll do it. Nope. Nope. She got it, and she got it all, and she basically rooked this guy out of fifty thousand dollars which is a lot of money for this guy we read the story we all got mad at this and help him

are you helping him i would love to help him out we're working on it this guy we have a dumb people town facebook page which has grown immensely over 15 people. The story and our podcast made its way to this guy, Jan Flato. He has joined the Facebook community and he regularly comments on our Facebook page. Did anybody get, just because you never know, but my instincts are to go. Her version of it? No.

Her version is she's sitting with $100,000 and this guy gave the money. And she's not even giving half of it. None of it. None of it. But Jan Flato rides on. He care of his mom through the hurricane Irma was that the one that went through Florida who is she where is she at but Flato stands tall

so he becomes and he has become in this show in the lore of this show he is a mythic creature and figure and I think we have given him a ton of happiness just in yeah because he's a great taking his side and inflating inflating inflating the whole scenario so dan is saying that now we've got someone we got a guy who they're either going to be mortal enemies or no violence like just but he could join him on the dumb people town uh on the

ready for the headline about this guy let's hear hear it. Self-taught rocket scientist slash limo driver plans to launch over ghost town. There we go. What does that mean? This guy has goals. Literally what I said. Launch what over a ghost town? 61-year-old DIY enthusiast, stuntman, and limo driver, Mad Mike Hughes, is planning his first man launch of a homemade steam-powered rocket with research flat earth written on the side.

He is... So he's a flat earther. Who wants to shoot himself into the sky so he can get a good look. This is... And he's also a limo driver. Is he going to shoot a limo up in the sky? This is like Evil Knievel minus the Knievel. Oh, we're going to get to that, too.

Don't bring up Evil Knievel around Mad Mike Hughes. According to the AP, Mad Mike Hughes says he expects his new rocket to hurl him through the skies above the Mojave Desert ghost town of Amboy, which is also, just so you guys know, that's the town that Disney Pixar's Cars was modeled after. Oh, nice. He's going up to 500 miles per hour for roughly one mile, attaining a peak altitude of 1,800 feet before it deploys two parachutes. Couldn't he do it on a hot air balloon or a plane?

He's going to die. Well, also, you need to be at 50,000 feet to see the curvature of the Earth. So going up 1,800 isn't going to prove anything. He's not going to see that it is flat. No, it's going to prove his theory that the Earth is flat. It's going to definitely prove it. He's going to reinforce it. 1,800 feet.

There are buildings you can... Aren't there buildings 1,800 feet tall? I don't know. I don't see no curve. Maybe. In Dubai, there's probably like a 2,000 foot building in Dubai. How long is the Empire State? How big is Sears Tower?

1,400. 1,400. It's not 1,800. Okay, so come on. Buy yourself 400 feet. Get a ladder on top of the Empire State. By the way, not that different between 1,400 and 1,800. You're not going to see anything at 1,800 that you couldn't see before.

Well, you know what? I think this guy proved somebody else's point that it's round. By the way, he's not certainly... Yeah, no, no, definitely not. Mad Mike Hughes is a proponent of the flat earth theory. He and Kyrie Irving. 1450 feet, 17. Talk about looking topically.

This is a guy that definitely just looks at things topically. Topically. Looks flat to me. Yeah. So instead of putting himself on a rocket, which he's making himself when he's not driving a limo by the way i don't want to get back all the way on our discussion but i will say that if it is our belief that perhaps the world is getting dumber and we are unwisely entering that endeavor then aren't we in some level proving our point that the world is getting dumber if more and more people think the world is getting dumber when it actually isn't i'll keep it short because i know what you

mean you but i think when we get together and we have this discussion yeah that we will i might even get you to indirectly go because the argue what you do you don't argue you sit down and you go you just start pulling up things on you you know you're gonna open the computer and go here's how this was here's that was would you be willing to go back to 1990 and then i'll just go you just start pulling up things on you you know you're gonna open the computer and go here's how this was here's that was would you be willing to go back to 1990 and then i'll just go you know this was going on and that was going on and this was going on and like i said it's like when sometimes it topically if you look at it from another angle you'll be like ah shit we do still have a lot of work to do but i guess we'll go forward maybe but you have to be open to the fact that we might say this was bad and, and this was bad, and this was bad,

but I got news for you. This is worse, and this is worse, and this is worse. That's why we're going to open up. We're going to do it. All right, go ahead. Sorry, we need to reopen it. No, it's okay.

I believe if you could go forward in time, you could get a good spot in line for Todd Goss' special at the Lyric. Exactly. I'm really excited about that. According to the AP, Mad Mike Hughes says he expects his new rocket

to hurl him through the skies above the Mojave Desert ghost town of Amboy. I love that he's trying to make it seem like a rocket being hurling through the skies is a new concept. It's what a rocket does. Also easily done on your own.

Mad Mikees is a proponent of the flat earth theory the research flat earth group has donated money to his effort so he got some good so he got a little kickstarter yeah he actually does have a kickstarter when i post this thing on the facebook page feel free to watch all of it also watch do not give to watch two videos where one time he was trying to set a rocket off to see if it would work. He walked up to it and hit it with a pipe and a huge thing of gas shot out and almost like hit him and knocked him over. Good. Then he shot himself off another time and didn't have the right type of parachutes and

the G-forces like messed him up for weeks. So why not do it again? Yeah. For him, NASA stands for not as smart as. Right. For him, NASA stands for not as smart as. Right. Mad Mike Hughes does not, this is quote, he quote, does not believe in science, which he told the AP, quote, has no difference from science fiction.

Science is no different than science fiction. But aren't you using science to send the rocket into space? No. Isn't that a form of science? I'm going to show you guys a picture of this gentleman. 61. He'll be on the Facebook page. He's one year away. Wow.

Look at him. He's got transition lenses. Yep. Wow. A shirt that's older than all of us. Looks like Jerry Lewis from far away but I might not. It does look like a Jerry Lewis character. He looks like if Steve Irwin, like the Crocodile Hunter? Crocodile Hunter

still died then continued to pursue other things. Also, died not hunting crocodiles. So he zigged when you thought he would zag it. Like, oh, crocodile hunter, that's one way this is ending.

Nope. Nope. I think I can come up with another way. Still died. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying... He's still dead, but he's now going into another venture. According to Mad Mike Hughes, quote, if you're not scared to death, you're an idiot. Hughes, who once assured Ars Tashana that he has a high IQ. I don't know who that is. Yeah.

Or Ars Technicon. I don't know. Quote, it's scary as hell hell but none of us are getting out of this world alive well that's actually a great point they say it ends in uh it all ends like marriage they go it ends in death or divorce yeah we're both then he said quote i never thought about i'm a walking reality show we all are yeah right yes that is just some of us have cameras and some don't but we all are asking to be on a reality show as he he declared as he also made sure to tell everyone that he's going to

leave enough food for his four cats just in case anything happens okay so there's a little part of him that knows leave something for the cats yeah a little something adding to the already somewhat somewhat troubling nature of the launch the event will simultaneously serve as the launch of Mad Mike Hughes' California gubernatorial campaign. And the person who wrote this wrote in parentheses because sure whatever. I love that the person writing this...

Do we get to guess how old this guy is? You already know! 61. Well, I didn't. I could have still done it. That's how much I love guessing. I'll tell you the end we're gonna have a fun guessing okay good we'll have a good guy another guess though the ap said the event would be live stream on hughes's youtube channel his website says it will be available on internet pay-per-view not a thing no uh as someone else here whose name i can't read noted mad mike hughes

has done a lot of this kind of thing winning a guinness World Record in 2002 for jumping his Lincoln Town Car Stretch Limo. One of two quizzes. I'm going to ask you guys, how many feet did he jump his stretch limo to get the Guinness Book of World Records? Todd, the wheels are turning. First or last? I get to go last every time?

You can pick last. Okay, fine. I think last is always best. Last is great because you get to see a lay of the land. Something, you know, you actually get to take in all the research and then make an educated guess. Something that Mad Mike has never done. Does anybody ever go first? Yeah.

Yeah. Sure. Why? Because you have to have a gut feeling about it. You've got a gut feeling and the answer comes out. You're right. The world is getting dumb. And they don't want their number taken.

Randy, Jay, who wants to go first? Oh, yes. I'll go first. Sorry. I think he went 20 feet. 20 feet? That's a long way in a stretch limo. That is a long way. More than that.

40. 40 feet. Okay. Todd, what do you have to say? He went up off a ramp. What's this room here? This room is probably 25 feet. I'm going to say 20.

25 feet anyway. Okay. That's what you're going with? Yeah. So 20 from Randy. Yep. probably 25 feet. I'm going to say 20. 25 feet anyway. Okay. That's what you're going with? Yeah. So 20 from Randy. Yep. 25 from Todd. And Jason says 40.

Oh. Okay, I'll stick with 25. No, you can change it. You have another chance to change it. What do you think? I think, oh, I hate to do this to you. No, do it. 41.

All right, fine. 41. Okay, fine. Remember, it's not Price is Right. You can just be straight up. Okay. Earning himself a Guininness book world record in 2002 mad my cues jumped his lincoln town car stretch limo 102 feet

that is amazing i love winning feels good doesn't it and i know I know he probably kept all the napkins in the tiny little tumblers in the stretch limo. Had he not done that, he could have had an extra three feet. An extra three feet. You take the napkins out. I hope he did it holding them. They love putting those napkins in. Love it. Sticking out on the corner of the thing.

Like if you're in a car, when are you going to set the drink down? To me, the second you pour the drink, you're holding it until you're done with the drink. I hope that he did it while holding his flat. Also, who is going to care enough about someone else's car? You're like, I already paid for this. You clean it up. To be like, no, no, no. Put a napkin underneath. You can't have a ring under that.

Put a napkin underneath it. Two questions. Do you think Mad Mike Hughes did it with one arm out the window? A cigarette out. Two, do you think mad mike hughes did it with one arm out the window yeah a cigarette out two do you think he has a picture in his house of him midair mid oh my god oh yes and by the way it's not a clear picture it's a blurred because whatever camera took the picture doesn't have the ability to like motion get it stop it in the air take it with a flip phone in 2002 it's just like oh is that you? Just don't mention Evel Knievel around Mad Mike Hughes.

He's not a fan. This is a quote from him. Of course he's not. He was an average stunt guy. He stole his look from Elvis. That is neat. Yeah, I mean. Even if he did. Wasn't it a look at the times?

Yes. When we're talking about Elvis, the Elvis performance, there's a period of time where he was still kind of in shape. He looked like he played football. Okay. So he was still in shape. Okay. He hadn't gotten like fat.

Three years before he died, he looked pretty good. He had gained weight. He had gained some weight. He wasn't like thin Elvis, you know, swinging. But he was a little more buff. And there's a performance. I highly recommend everyone and maybe we'll put the link of it on the

Dump Your Time Facebook page. There's a performance where he does a song that I don't particularly love. Righteous Brothers. You lost that love and feeling. I remember it in, you know, when they brought it back in Top Gun, there was the tongue-in-cheek version where Tom Cruise, clearly a gay man, sings it to these women.

Allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly. And to me, I was like... To a gay woman. To a gay woman. To a gay woman. So there was irony in all of that. However, I never loved that song until I heard Elvis sing it. Until I heard this version of that song.

He certainly... With the background singers. It's crazy. Isn't it the most soulful version of that song? A lot of the songs are. And you know what? For a long time, even up until maybe six years ago, because Elvis was just sort of for me under my radar.

When he died, I think I was in first or second grade or second grade. So I wasn't like, Elvis, Elvis. I always thought, oh, to be honest, because I go the other way now. Oh, Elvis. I only knew the bloated Elvis. It was sad, but that's the elvis i knew hawaii elvis if you back up three or four years he was amazing amazing but back up even further that's when you know elvis on the comeback special now i know the special you're talking about and there are some songs he does for uh for what now my love

and it's just like he does some great versions. So the comeback special he's in a black shirt and he's just sitting in a black leather jacket. And he has a raspiness to his voice and he sings and at one point he has the guitar

and he goes out a half a foot and then into his chest and he's like and that's when I go if you're not singing like that then get the fuck off the stage. There is a passion

and then he even and you've lost that love and feeling he even makes a joke as he gets down on his knee. This is like he's in a white jumpsuit, okay, in Vegas doing the thing. And he gets down on his knee.

Says, baby, baby, I get down on my knees for you if this suit wasn't too tight. Makes that joke! Wasn't this tight. He was funny, but then at the same time, it wasn't like he took it off

into just a slit. He's got this raspiness if you go back. One night with you. And he's like singing it. It's like a great to go back and watch that Elvis. Plus, he was, you know, absurdly good looking. Oh, my God. You know, then, and a great voice and a good sense of humor.

And the fun... I think the special you're talking about, we like to say that's when he was doing drugs, but he still was on the better side of it. That's right. It hadn't really taken him and really cut him down at the knees. At any rate, there are worse things you could be trying

to steer your look from than Elvis, is all I'm saying. All that for that one. Thank you. I like it. Long way to go for it. Hughes certainly seems to be aware that blasting yourself into the sky is not something that most people would consider a particularly good idea, given possible outcomes like being scalded by red-hot steam or smashing into the ground at lethal speeds. But he also seems pretty determined to do this. So I guess we all owe it to him to hope for the best possible outcome.

No, we don't. I don't want—you will never win an argument with this guy. I hope he has—I mean, I hope he's okay, ultimately, but if he has a bad outcome, let it serve as a... Well, I'm going to ask you guys this. Flat Earth, come up and get him. Here's a little guessing time for you, Todd Glass. How much money has Mad Mike raised to put into his rocket and setting it up? From his Kickstarter?

From his Kickstarter. Okay, Todd, you can, I know you want to go last. And his donation by the Flat Earth Research people. Okay, so he's been given donations. I can't imagine they're a big group. Exactly. Hopefully. Todd, would you like to go first, Tig, or third?

We'll go last. What Tig means? She chose to go second. We always used to say first or last until Tig Notaro goes, I'm going to go second. I'm going to go second between the squires. Yeah. Okay, no, I'll go last.

Okay. Randy or Jay? Would you call last a Todd from now on? Yeah, we'll call it. First Tigger lap. First Tigger Todd. Tigger Todd or Timmy. I would, when we had Tim Allen on the show, Tigger Todd or Timmy.

I would say they've raised about $2,000. $2,000 from Randy Sklar. Jason Sklar says- More than that. More than that. I say $9,000 about $2,000. $2,000 from Randy Sklar. Jason Sklar says... More than that. More than that. I say $9,000. $9,000. Didn't they say they had money coming from that organization?

The Flat Earth Organization. Okay, so I'm going to say... You know, they've got deep pockets. $15,000. $15,000. Wow. He used the money. Todd, by the way, just took a lay of the flat land and then made his...

Well, I figured there's a lot of people that really want to prove it. They'll give money out of what they even have to give. That's right. And they'll spend more than they have. Mad Mike Hughes, as of us recording this and me reading that story when it came out. Look, I didn't believe this guy could jump a stretch limo more than 20 feet. And he fucking proved me wrong five times. So I said two grand.

So I'm now feeling regretful. He has raised, so far, when we're recording this, as far as I know, $20,000. Whoa! Yes! I'm so happy. Which includes Rust-Oleum paint to fancy up his rocket. And a motorhome that he bought on Craigslist that he converted into a ramp. that he bought on Craigslist that he converted into a ramp.

Converted a motorhome into a ramp just so he can shoot right off the ramp. Oh, man. All right, God bless him. I hope when he's up there, he actually has an epiphany and he actually looks down and says, you know what?

As he's up in the air, this is what I hope. This is my hope for it. He goes up in the air, raises the money, comes back down and says, you know what, Flat Earth Society? We were all wrong.

It's actually wrong. He won't. He won't. Definitely won't. How great would it be if he sees his life flash before him and he says you know what i gotta say this for at least for the four three of the four cats i own it's it's round it's not you know what i mean all right that's story two down the books todd glass is with us he's got a great new special that will be coming out on netflix on the 23rd called act happy you'll understand why i'll be back with our last story what are we uh what are we looking Netflix on the 23rd called? Act Happy. Act Happy on Netflix. You'll understand why. I'll be back with our last story.

What are we looking at? Oh, bad action on a flight. Bad action on a flight. What were you going to say? Or good, depending on you. Okay, we're good. All right, we'll be back with more Dumb People Town right after this. Stick around. Make a sound.

There's more Dumb People Town. There's more Dumb People Town. Hey, welcome back to Dumb People Town. Follow Todd Glass on Twitter. He's a great follow. And on the Insta. You do it on the Instagram. I'm just starting to.

Just starting on the Instagram. Follow him at Todd Glass. Let's get to this last story. Here we go. It was sent in by Mitch Haba. At Mitch Haba. One witness, quote, felt bad. I felt bad. For the cross-country airline passenger

situated on the end of a three-seat row where a man and a woman were engaged in a sex act, according to release by police. You're flying to a gig, you're sitting there, and two people are getting it on. Right. On the plane. On the plane. And she said, I feel bad

for the guy on the end, quote, but I guess he was sleeping. So is it in the back near the bathroom and it's dark and it's through the night? No.

You know, I can't have sex, honey, until I smell like a hockey puck that's menthol, you know. She said a man and a woman were kissing

and then the woman began performing oral sex on the man, quote, which wasn't nice, she wrote in her account. Under the tray table, you hear the head bump. oral sex on the man, quote, which wasn't nice, she wrote in her account. Under the tray table, you hear the head bump. I get nervous when there's like

a little nudity on someone's laptop. Right, yeah. That's the tray table. The back of her head is hitting the tray table. Thanks, Todd. Get this. The pair, strangers before the flight. No. Wow! Were aboard an afternoon Delta flight from LA to Detroit. Or aboard an afternoon Delta flight from L.A. to Detroit.

This is an afternoon flight, L.A. to Detroit. These two people do not know each other. If Johnny Carson were alive, try the friendly skies. Stop that timer. That was a long one. You are free to move about his cabin. Cock and balls. I guess she was in the cockpit.

move about his cabin. Cock and balls. I guess she was in the cockpit. The alleged exhibitionists were held by police upon landing until an

investigator from the FBI arrived. They were temporarily jailed and issued citations for disorderly conduct. That's a little too much.

The pair initially denied that there was any oral sex, claiming the woman had innocently placed her head on the man's lap to sleep. You know, a

stranger's lap. Luminol, her inner mouth is all I'll say. A stranger's lap. Can Iol, her inner mouth is awesome. A stranger's lap. Can I even lie down here? The woman had a.12 blood alcohol level according to the post-flight breath elation test. Hey, I'm not flying a plane.

The man, although, his blood alcohol content level was, Todd, do you want to go third? Randy or Jason, here we go. I say, go first. I'll take it. You're going to take it? I'm going to take it okay fine I think it was .8

.08 .08 .08 would be ridiculous .08 she was at 1.0 she was at .12 .12

.12 what do you say .12 that was sure what do you say I say.08 which is the legal limit .08 is the legal limit

yeah I'm going to say 2.2.2 wow that's a lot.2 okay that's hammered which is the legal limit..08 is the legal limit? Yeah. I'm going to say 2. .2. .2. Wow, that's a lot. Okay, that's hammered. .03.

Okay, so it was not. So you even went higher than me. Lower, lower. .03. You said.2. That's a lot. That's above her. Okay.

The man had a blood alcohol content level of.06. Wow. So I was right. By 2. By 2. I get it..06. Oh, I was right. By two, Randy. I get it,.06. So he wasn't legally drunk and didn't appear drunk. He knew what he was doing.

A flight attendant, also a witness, said she walked up on the player during the Delta flight in route to Detroit from LA and observed the woman's head partially covered beneath a blanket bobbing as she performed oral sex. So that wasn't sex sex. No, it was oral sex. But there was definitely a happy ending.

Especially not what your definition of is is. The flight staff ordered the woman to, quote, sit up straight and the man quote, tried to apologize to me. The flight, seems to me like they were like, sorry. Yeah. Can we just sit up straight? Yeah. The man was jailed for nearly five hours. The woman, seven hours upon release,

police helped her recover her luggage And intended to help her book a new flight to her destination Because she missed the original one while being in airport jail Where was she flying to? Margaritaville? Delta Delta security I mean, I like the If no one's around

And you're in the back of the plane I've never done it I've seen it happen, I've seen some stuff go down on a plane. I saw two, a man and a woman. Didn't we see this? Were we on the same flight? They were like fighting with each other. They were arguing at first.

And then I think she liked his argumentativeness. And then they switched and sat next to each other and like flirted the entire flight. Nothing ever happened, but definitely it was either of them were drunk. I could see it going to this. No, I watched it go down. And then they looked at me like,

and I was like, what you're doing this in front of me. Yeah, I get to watch it for you. This is an airplane. She missed her original flight while she was in jail. The woman said Delta told her that she wouldn't be allowed on any other Delta flight. So she rebooked with another airline and stayed overnight in a hotel. while she was in jail. The woman said, Delta told her that she wouldn't be allowed on any other Delta flight,

so she rebooked with another airline and stayed overnight in a hotel. She should go Virgin America. The lighting's better. Folks!

Oh, that's more of a party. Those are our stories, kids. Love it. All right, let's take a quick, and we'll do this later, but let's get him out of here.

But I want to tease our show. We're going to do one more thing. The show is good. We don't even have to discuss it now. Okay, here we go. All right, before we get out of here, this is Todd Glass. Check out his special.

We've teased what our show is going to be when we come on your podcast. Is the world getting dumber or is it not getting dumber? We'll discuss it. We'll answer it. We'll discuss it with Todd Glass. I'll even give my point of view on this other thing we'll discuss because it all ties together. Let's hear it. I think it's no disrespect to the greats of comedy.

I think if they were aware at some conscious level, they'd be glad that comedy evolved after they were gone. So it's not by any means what I'm about to say, you know, whether it's George Carlin or Richard Pryor or Lenny Bruce. It's not to say, oh, my God, good comedy will live forever and be as good as it was then. But I think comedy is getting better. Agreed. I actually agree with that. So it's sort of I'm going to work that into Agreed. I actually agree with that. I won't just... So it's sort of...

I'm going to work that... Into the whole thing. Into the whole thing. That's... You might even be making our argument for us because sometimes comedy is better when the world is dumber. All right.

No, that is the show. You never know. That is the show. We'll talk about it. We'll get into it with Todd Glass. Check out his special. Thank you so much. And oh shit, we've got to get back to work. is special thank you so much and oh we gotta give that to her

you