Dumb People Town - Will Miles - The Al Sharpton Diet

Episode Date: October 21, 2022

This week Will Miles comes to town to hang with Daniel, Randy and Jason. This week's story is about a terrible roofing mistake.

Skypains Avenue Hey, Townies, welcome to a Friday episode of Dumb People Town. Population you. Population Miles. Will Miles. How you doing, buddy? Good. How are you guys? Welcome to the show, man. Thank you for coming to town. Thank you for joining us, and let's break down some dumb stuff. We have our own story first. I mean, I know you brought a dumb story of your own to tell. But you guys have a dumb shared story? It's not even a week old. Oh, right. Let's hear it. It's from Thursday, right? Yeah, it's Thursday. About 5 o'clock in the morning.

Oh, my God. We sat next to each other on a Southwest flight and didn't realize it until yesterday. Wait, what? What? That's so dumb. That's how- The first leg of my flight from LA to Denver, then Denver to Nashville, we were in the exit row.

I went to Denver, too, because I was on my way to Ohio. No way. Yeah. We were in the exit row, nobody in between. I was on my way to Ohio no way yeah we were uh in the exit row nobody in between exactly where were you doing a comedy club in Columbus no no I was my parents are there so I was visiting them but yeah so yesterday hits me up because we've connected but we've never hung out or anything right and so uh and I think I even talked to you I know for a little bit and and how is Dan as a roommate? I got it.

I got it. He's a good roommate? Well, he was a great roommate. It was also 5 a.m., so it was one of those mornings where you're like, I can't believe I picked this flight. Beats on, beats on, and you're in your own zone. And I'm like, I was stoned. I had eaten an edible before.

Sure. Like these two on. Wait, are you worried that it's, I mean, obviously you probably have your calibration of what it's going to be. But, like, are you ever worried that, like, whatever, it's going to send you into a crazy, like, psychedelic – A little bit. Yeah. Well, I read the thing about the guy on mushrooms, but – and he, like, beat up people or something.

No. But that's not what mushrooms are supposed to do. No. That guy, he brought a lot of – That's bath salts. That's bath salts, baby. It's like people will be like, this guy got drunk and got in a fight. Alcohol's bad. I'm like, no, that guy's bad. Alcohol can be bad, this guy got drunk and got in a fight. Alcohol's bad.

I'm like, no, that guy's bad. Alcohol can be bad, and it was bad for him. Alcohol gave him the courage to continue. It only fucked up once, the way back, actually. I went to Austin, Texas first, and it was Austin city limits at the same time. So as I'm coming back, our flight was only like three hours. So I was like, fuck, I need another edible. So that's when I fucked up, because that was too many edibles.

Too many edibles. Too much dough. So you were high when we were both on that flight. I was high when we were on that flight. And I walked into the airport, and I switched from Burbank to LAX. So I was already upset that it took long to get there. Yeah. But then I'm looking around, and I see a girl from Insecure.

And I was like, oh, that's cool. She's with her baby. Then I see Clint Howard. i was like holy shit then i go in howard an extra on this flight yeah what the fuck like oh no it's got two lines he's gonna give us two yeah you guys the plane's taking off thank you dude you're like wait clint shouldn't actually let's go back to one and have you do that one more time. It's a new version. We like that. Clint, shouldn't you be in the tower reading like a thing? Because I was already in the row, right? You were already in the row.

I think I was right behind you even in the A group. Oh, God, I love it. And the Southwest A group. Bring you back together. So he hit me up and he's like, I think we were on that flight. And I was like, dude, I've been on six flights in the last eight days. I was like, I don't know which one. And he was like, I think we were going to flight yeah i was like dude i've been on six flights in the last eight days i was like i don't know which one and he was like i think we were going to denver and i was like oh yeah because i remember when i when we nobody said i looked at you

and i go we did it yeah yeah exactly and then when you said that i was like yo i feel like i know you yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah exactly and we slept i was out yeah. Yeah, me too. Of course. I love it. Of course. Reunited. So let us figuratively be in that middle seat right now between the two of you as we go over this dumb story.

The world's getting dumber. The only way to fight it is through comedy, so let's go through a story. Okay, ready? This is sent in by Derek Shipley, at Derek Shipley. Thanks, bud. Derek. L-E-Y-R-I-C-K. Sends in a lot of good ones.

Nice. Here's the headline. R-I-C-K. Sends in a lot of good ones. Here's the headline. Family's entire roof nightmare. Family's entire roof removed by contractor mistake. Oh, God. So they hired a contractor

to probably... They didn't. So this guy just came and removed their roof. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. Uninvited. Is it the wrong house, Dan? An Idaho family was shaken to find the roof of their house gone. We moved to Idaho to have this not happen to us. That's right.

We want to get away from this. After a grave error from a contractor they never hired. Oh, my God. Look, this is horrible, but they're speaking as though somebody died. Right. Like grave error. It is. It is bad.

Horrible. And the roof will have to be put back on. But, like, this is insane. And the roof will have to be put back on. But, like, this is insane. Jessica? H-O-T-V-E-D-T. Hotvid? Hotvid. Hotvid?

Jessica? Hotvid. Hotvid? It's a hotvid. A mom in Spring Lake, Idaho, told local station KXLY TV I am a mom. that her daughter came home from school to see people removing their roof on June 1st.

Mom! How old is the daughter? Like six? I'm sure. Young. We're out again? The building has now been roofless and covered in a tarp for too long. This is a nightmare. This is absolutely the worst thing I could have imagined.

To which I would say to Jessica, there's way worse things you can imagine. But still, you're roof off. Come on. Roofless. My style as a juvenile. Can I just say that? Roofless, my style as a juvenile. That's good.

Yeah. That's old. That's how old I am. It turned out that a contractor for DR Roofing LLC had gone to the wrong address for roofing. And they put the name of the roofing company in there. They're never getting any of this. I don't know. Work again.

Have any of you guys, you've done rehabs. Oh, yeah. And those are ones you wanted. Right. I'm just saying like. And they take forever. Forever. And it's a nightmare, right?

By the way. Didn't you guys move your kitchen to another part of the house for a while? We had a microwave and a hot plate in our like dining room and we were We're this is the thing all renovations. My wife's an interior designer all renovations go take a left turn somewhere Sure, just don't know it's really not onto a different street not into someone else Keep it at the place It's supposed to be like now I can say to my wife, please. And she has to prep people for that, right?

Whenever she does a bid, even with you, she probably was like, this is our plan. We're going to get as close to this plan as possible. We're going to find a random beam in our kitchen floor. There are tens of thousands of dollar doors that get put on the wrong way. This happens. And you're like, how are we going to fix this? Everybody makes a mistake. And sometimes these mistakes are really expensive this is crazy this is not don't doesn't someone with a clipboard look at the thing and say okay

are we at the right place like you have to check yeah wouldn't you think but isn't there a meeting no isn't there a meeting first with the contractor come on i'll take a look at the property maybe he sent his crew which i still i'm not okay with right but wouldn't you say to your crew when you get there this is your point of contact yeah let them know that yellow door look at the address or just talk to somebody yeah say anything so yes we're gonna take the roof off everybody good here right yeah yeah no just they didn't even knock on the door i'm picturing like i can only picture cartoons because that's how intelligent I am. But picturing like a big crane just pulling it right off.

Yeah, just lifting the roof right off. Being able to put it right back up. So DR Roofing LLC had gone to the wrong address. The only explanation left behind was a letter from the contractor which read, due to miscommunication, I was given the wrong address to do some roof work so not even taking responsibility and not even I was given the wrong address right letter he was he was down the street yeah he's like I apologize to the people whose roofs I hurt yeah I'm sorry if you were a sorry if your roof is mad my mistake. All these qualifiers. Right, but that's like breaking up with someone on text, leaving a letter.

Yeah. You just took a person's roof off their house, and you're like, you know what? We'll leave a note. Yeah, they'll know. Guys, we're not going to not leave a note. Yeah, you guys are going to leave it open. Right. Or that's like a post-it note, like Sex and the City.

Have you guys ever hit a car and had to leave a note? Or come to your car with a note? Have you? I've hit a car. Have you? Really a car and had to leave a note? Or come to your car with a note? I've hit a car really bad. Really? And I think I wrote something like, hey, wasn't drunk, just hit your car. Which, by the way, if I'm reading that, I'm like, totally drunk. I was drunk. I was like 20.

I can smell the alcohol on the paper. Yeah. Due to miscommunication, I was given the wrong address to do some roof work. After I did some tear off, I was informed this was the wrong house. I deeply apologize for the inconvenience. So if you just did some tear-off, you got to do some put-back on it. Yeah, exactly. There's no mention of, like, I'll take care of it.

Yeah. The note also directed HotVet to call the roofing company for a sit. This is what I always hate, too. So you're going to want to call someone else who isn't me who didn't do this and get them to fix my mistake they're gonna say you need to talk to the guy right exactly exactly you know how this circle goes right this is like the passing of the hot potato he's like i can only remove them i can't put them back i don't know how to do this is where people just exactly they stay right in their lane oh now you're gonna get in your lane now you're gonna follow the rules okay the roofing company said call them for assistance

and promise to repair the roof quote in a timely manner adding we will take responsibility for this mistake okay i'm gonna ask you guys wait wait you know what's a timely manner by three o'clock yeah yeah yeah get that shit done because i am not sleeping in an open air. I'm not suddenly in an outdoor. I need a roof tonight. We're not doing this in a sukkah, guys. The roof has sat tarped for how long? Just a tarp flapping in the Idaho breeze.

68 days. Dude, I love the confidence. He just dropped a 68 days on us. Jay, what do you think? I'm going to say 30 days. I was going to go 28 days. It's like the rehab thing. It's like you're trying to rehab the house.

68 days, though, feels more right. We're going to take a quick break. When we come back, we're going to find out how long this roofing company feels a timely manner. Oh, God. We'll get into that and a whole bunch more right after this. Stick around. Make a sound.

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Hey, guys. Welcome back to the show. Before we find out the answer to how many days that the roof was tarped. I want to mention a couple dates that we have coming up and then tell you how you can support Will. Randy and I are going to be in Rochester, New York doing the comedy at the Carlson, which is really a cool venue. I love the venue. Nate Abshire is going to be with us, who we love very much. He's a great feature.

Out of Minneapolis, great comic. Yeah, so that's November 10th through the 12th. And then we will be in Alaska. Alaska, y'all. Going to three cities. How many times have you guys played Alaska? Once. Many, many years ago.

Second time back. So you know this is my favorite story about Alaska. And we were referring to ourselves. How do ugly people get laid in Alaska in the summertime? You don't have the cover of darkness. It's to pull someone in a bar. It is bright at 2 a.m. You can't walk out of a bar and be like, where are we going?

It's like, ooh. So we performed and we featured for, we were the feature act for Tommy Davidson. Tommy Davidson. Who, by the way, I love and think

is so goddamn funny. Everything he, he's just a funny in his bones type of a guy. Yeah. So we go to the thing and we just want to meet him because we're fans of his work

and liked him so much. We're like 25, 27 years old. And it's like, by the way, it's June and we just want to meet him because we're fans of his work and liked him so much. We're like 25, 27 years old. And it's like, by the way, it's June and we're in our big thick coats and I'm freezing my nuts off. So we're going in December. We're idiots, right?

It's going to be an episode of Alone. You know what I mean? We're going to be stuck in the wilderness having to put Wolverines high up on us. Right. I'm going to go to, because I watched Life Below Zero, so I want those people to come out to the shows.

Anyway, the point is we go there and Tommy Davidson is not there. The only person that's there is his manager who looks like former NFL player and activist Jim Brown. Sure. Tall dude. You mean UFC commentator? UFC commentator. UFC one. He was the UFC one that we made fun of on our show.

But he was wearing the classic Jim Brown African hat. Yeah, yeah. And this guy had a toothpick in his mouth. Tommy's not there yet. We get off stage, but I don't think this guy saw us perform. Right. He just was hanging out. He just saw us waiting to meet Tommy Davidson.

This is his manager. So he thinks we're the students from the University of Alaska. It's always a little annoying when you're the comic and they don't think you're the comic. Yeah, exactly. He's got a toothpick in his mouth. He walks up to us, and we were like, hey, so is there any chance that we can meet Tommy? When can we meet Tommy? And he doesn't even look at us.

He's like, pick something out of his teeth. He's like, yeah, Tommy needs more ham on the ham plate. Tommy going to need more cheese. So Tommy need was the first thing he said to us. He thought we were the students who set up the green room for Tommy Davidson. Tommy need more ham on the ham plate. We're like, okay. We're like, Tommy needs to know that we're not the students who set this up.

We'll get right on that for Tommy. We met him and told him that story, and he was like, that son of a bitch. Are you kidding me? He did that to you guys? He was so mad that he did that to him. That's funny. So funny.

So you're going back. Tommy needs it. You guys are going back to put ham on the ham plate. Is it going to be bright there? No, it'll be dark. It'll be literally like two hours of sunlight each day. Right. We're going to be depressed for three days straight.

But it's going to be amazing. And the comedy will be so fun. You're going to get some music on that big-ass coat. I have the big-ass coat. He's got the big-ass coat, which will be good. And then, hey, we're going to be in Denver in January at the South. The Landmark Comedy Works is so great over Martin Luther King Day weekend. Awesome.

We'll be there for the beginning of that. And then in San Diego. And, you know, we did so, the Bell House was so much fun that they want us to come back and do it again. Yeah. So maybe even earlier in February do a live down in Peopletown, which was so great.

Danny, you've got dates. Yeah. Well, pretty much just for me for the rest of the year, there's local stuff and then- Online stuff. Yeah. Yeah.

Some of that as well. But local shows are on town. Hey, and the Halloween Go. Yeah. Halloween Go is coming up. I loveingo yeah it's a digital bingo and costume contest where I call bingo you will know prizes and I tell you my wife and I are doing this animal shelters what what are what our costumes do you dress up for Halloween uh you know I traditionally have not as a kid

but I am dressing up this year this What's your costume? Frankenstein. Yes! Frankenstein's monster. I love it. Frankenstein's monster. To be clear. You're not the doctor. I'm going as Mary Shelley. The author? Yes.

I'm going as Mary Shelley's husband. A lot of people don't know. Come back to bed. You're right. What did you say? I forgot. Did you say what you're going as? Did I say this?

So my wife is going to be Eddie Munson. Oh, yeah, that's right. From Stranger Things. And I'm going to be Eddie Munster. Does that mean you have going as? Did I say this? So my wife is going to be Eddie Munson. Oh, yeah, that's right. From Stranger Things and I'm going to be Eddie Munster. Does that mean you're shaving the mustache? No, I'm not shaving the mustache.

Oh, so you're not really. I'm not really. That's great. I'm going to play the girl that came back to Eddie's house. Up on the roof with like one arm cracked this way and a foot. So how can people follow you?

Oh, one last thing though. I wanted to finish mine. So the Come and Take It Comedy Festival, I'm headlining that. Rory Scoble and I are doing a live penthouse and I'm doing my first ever live Hub City bingo. Go to danielvancurk.com or I think come and take it comedy. That's a great festival at a great venue. Secret group.

Secret group in Houston. I love those guys. Go ahead, brother. So how can people follow you and all that stuff? Follow me. I'm Mr. Will Miles on everything. I think I have a TikTok. I definitely have.

I think. I think. It's Mr. Will Miles. And then Instagram and Twitter are the same. I just started Twitter again. Great. I got off. I was happy.

Sure. Got back on. I'm going to suck you back out. Now you're depressed. I'm miserable. Listen, man. Sherman Showcase comes out October 26th On IFC AMC

Which is like the greatest thing I've ever It's so weird and funny And beautiful It's like I laugh so hard at that I laugh so hard at that show Every time I've seen it I'm just like God damn this is just so weird October 26th

It's so weird It's so weird in the best ways like i can tell that it's like done really well but it's edited really well too like editing is editing is the biggest part of any comedy i think uh but specifically sherman showcase yeah like the the editing on that show you get like five more jokes out of like the cutaway like a weird cutaway or like a weird cutaway, or a long period of time where you should be cutting away, but you're not cutting away.

There's so many editing jokes in that show. Love it. Southside is coming out in December, too. Same guys. That's on HBO Max, though. Southside, our buddy we mentioned, Mike Blyden, directed, and he's just a wonderful dude, and has just raved about great show, too.

...grabed about that show, which we love as well. So, support it. And I... Move from Comedy Central to it, right? Yeah, move from Comedy Central to HBO Max. Right, and you said one more thing, you're... Oh, Blyden got me into, like, Bitcoin and all that stuff. Oh, God.

All right, well, we left. Dear God. Sorry. We were guessing how long... How long the tarp was on the roof. In a timely manner. Right. Will said 68 days and almost didn't hesitate.

He didn't hesitate at all. I said 30. I said 28 days because I'm playing it like a kid. Shout at your ham radios where you're listening to this at home. As of when this story was sent to me, the roof has sat. Oh, it's still tarped. Possible that it's still going. Oh, God.

But this is as of the time of the story. It sat tarped for 22 days. Oh, yeah. Over three weeks as of the time of the story. I sat tarped for 22 days. Okay. So it could be 60 days. Over three weeks. Yeah. That's not a timely manner. Over three weeks since your daughter came home to your house being ripped apart, and they were like, we'll get to it.

It's in the queue. You have- No, Kitty. By the way- It gets worse. You know they're going to be like supply chain issues. Yeah, lumber. By the way, I-

Well, you know what I would say? I tried to have sex with my wife the other night, and she was like, I can't be like supply chain issues. Yeah, lumber. Wait, I try. We knew what I would say. I tried to have sex with my wife the other night and she was like, I can't supply chain issue. I'm like, wait, how does the supply chain affecting this? She said Ukraine. How is that affecting this? Biden's America. For over three weeks, Hotbed said her home is still missing a roof.

D.R. Roofing told her the insurance company, the company's insurance. Hotbed's room is a hotbed of problems. Would cover the damage, but so far their insurance claims have been denied. Really? The insurance claims have been denied? For DR Roofing.

So DR Roofing is saying like, hey, we put our insurance company on it and their insurance company goes, yeah, we're not covering this. Yeah, DR Roofing has to cover it. To which DR should go, oh, tough shit for us. I guess we still have to just go fix this roof. Like, oh, we have to now get in the middle of your insurance dispute?

A letter from the insurance company informed her that the policy issued to DR Roofing contains an exclusion for property damage arising out of an open roof condition. What? Of course. But they created the condition. I know. They made the open roof. Right. Oh my God. This is not like the- So what they're saying is like in an open roof scenario,

if all of a sudden it rains and it damages your property, you're not allowed to be covered. Because you know insurance tries to say, find any way possible to not pay you your money. Right. One person got this 20 years ago. They were like, get on that. Get on that. We're never paying you again again the tarp covering the family's home has not been able to withstand recent rainstorms in the region oh my god with water seeping into the floor carpet and drywall oh my god hotbed said they have been forced to remove parts of their water damaged floor and their children can't sleep in their room because of its moldy smell oh Oh my God. DR roofing is going down. We're going to the embassy suites.

You're also paying for that. Absolutely. We're going to go sublet. We're going to long-term Airbnb. You know what we're going to do? We're going to bring our beds and stuff down to DR roofing. We're going to sleep in your offices. I'm going to take a shit in your bathroom every morning.

I'm going to eat poorly too. I'm going to eat poorly so it's going to be awful. Dave's hot chicken and we're going to all day. Airplane eggs. Airplane eggs. Probably the worst food ever. I know I said it wasn't like Nightmare and Grave, but I would lose my mind.

I can't even picture the anger. I would sue them. I mean, there is a lawsuit sitting in this. I'd get Al Sharpton in for me personally. Oh, 100%. 100%. Why are we singing We Shall Overcome? We'll figure that out later.

Let him do his work. Get my roof on and get my money. Why is Al Sharpton 115 pounds? I'm like, I don't need to lose any more weight, Al Sharpton. I kind of believed you more when you were bigger. I would like to go to his diet plan. He's almost a jockey. He's just

a head now. If you turn sideways, he's flat sand. What if Al Sharpton literally became the biggest diet? I'm on the Al Sharpton diet. I'd be on it if he gave out the secrets. I'm on the Sharpton diet.

I'm on the Sharpton diet. He's very politically active. I was wondering what he did with his old suits. Because the amount he had to spend in new suits. Alone. And you never want to get a suit when you're in the middle of a diet. No. It will be there to mock you.

Don't ever buy clothes. Because you're going to go back up. That's the rule of diet. You're going to go back up. That's the rule of dice. You're going to go back up. I got fat again just to get good clothes back on. Remember that old shirt? Yeah, I was like, that shirt was great. I love that.

Looks stupid now. Looks like a tent right now. Let's eat. Let's eat. In and out of this. All right, we're going to get out of here with some money guessing. Let's do it. Forbes estimated the national average cost to replace a roof at around how much money?

So how much do you think, on average, Forbes says it costs to replace a roof? Have any of you had to? You've probably had to. I had a new roof put on my house. Really? New roofing. Not roof all the way to the bottom, but new top roof. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah. I saw this quoted on their document recently so i i would say it's like 10 to 15 000 okay i'm gonna say pick one 15 15 yeah i was gonna say like i was gonna say 7 000 okay in this let's say you did oh i love them seven seven oh i know 13,000. 13,000? Forbes estimated the national average cost to replace a roof at around $8,000. Really? Nice.

Most people spend between $5,500 and $11,000. However, the square footage and type of roofing material can dramatically drive up the cost. We're going to get out of here on this. Price estimates to redo the metal roof have only further demoralized

the mom who said bids from other companies have quoted her roof repair at how much money? So we already did the average. Now what do we think? You did the average and you know that she has a metal roof. A metal roof. How much? She's in Idaho so my guess, for some reason

I have no idea. I think I went to Boise once for a festival. Yeah, same. But I just picture everyone has a huge house, so I'm thinking $15,000. $15,000. I'm staying with it. Okay. I'm going to say $20,000.

$20,000? I'm going to say $11,000. Okay. The estimates that she has got, and as I said, we'll get out of here on this. Good old Miss Hotbed. Thank you, Will Miles. Will. Thank you. Mr. Will Miles. Mr. Will Miles on all platforms. he's got and as i said we'll get out of here on this good old miss hotbed thank you will miles wills thank you mr will miles on all platforms and he loves twitter so hit him up on twitter he's gonna be in it all all day and i argue with me about yeah or something anything can't wait

can't wait please take please take offense to everything he says i can't wait for everything that's coming out his his motto His motto is let me know. And if you're on a plane, he will not bother you. He'll be two edibles in if there's a connected flight. He'll be two edibles in. Two edibles deep on a delay.

20 minutes of meditating to start every flight, too, by the way. I'll do that as well. TM, right? Yeah, me too. If you're a Patreon, hit that RSS feed

because we're going to have a dumb story from Will after this. I don't know what order you listen to things. Okay. Here we go. The amount of money she was estimated to fix her roof that has sat tart for 22 days with her kids out of the room and damage to flooring and drywall is? $70,000. Oh, my God.

What? Yeah. No. She is depressed. I mean, this is unfair. Unfair. DR Roofing, shame on you. What? Yeah. No. She is depressed. I mean, this is unfair. Unfair. DR Roofing, shame on you. Shame on you.

Shame on you all the way. Hopefully it's fixed by now. I hope it's fixed. And maybe the city can raise money for this. I don't know. Well, that is. Get a lawyer. Get a lawyer.

Get a Kickstarter and then a lawyer. That's it. All right. That's how we do it, you guys. That is the show. And oh shit, we got to get back to work. Stick around. Make a sound.

Talk your downies. Dumb People Town.