Dumb People Town - Yedoye Travis - What YOU Did Is Wrong!

Episode Date: June 30, 2020

This week Yedoye Travis comes to town to hang out with Daniel, Jason and Randy and hear some stories. In story one, a man is accused of turning his house into a restaurant. In story two, a woman is reunited with her missing cat after many years. In story three stale cereal causes a fight between roommates. 

Skypains Avenue Hey, Townies, welcome to another episode of Dumb People Town. Population you. Population Travis. You doy-ay, Travis. Welcome to the show, my brother Town. Population you. Population Travis. Yedoye Travis. Welcome to the show, my brother. Good to have you. Hello. Hello, everybody. How you doing? We're good, man. That's what I love about this is I don't love anything about this pandemic, but I will say this. We get to have New York people. Friends of ours from New York that we would normally just not be able to have. This is an actual possibility. And we have wanted you on this podcast ever since we hung out with you.

When God closes a door, she opens a Zoom. He opens a garage door. A garage door Zoom. She opens a Zoom and then your mom doesn't know how to use it. But we hung out in Montreal. We did your great podcast and we just chilled and now have been following you ever since and love you on Instagram,

love you on Twitter. And I'm just so happy we're getting to do this together. Hey man, I'm very happy to be here. This is very exciting. Y'all were one of my favorites on the show that is now dead, but hey, whatever we killed it. We killed it. Don't you understand that the formula of the show was just wrong. Once white people get ahold of anything, it's over. It's done. Yeah. Yeah. I should have taken that into consideration. No. And what I know, explain how to make mistakes.

I know it was, it's gone now, but explain the concept of the show. Cause it's a brilliant one. Just so people know what we were on with you and they can go back and find it. But dark tank, what was it?

Yeah, it was a, it was a show where I bring a white guest on to pitch a solution to racism. And then they are obviously wrong. Um, although ours is pretty, but they try really hard.

Ours was pretty good. Was it not racist font? Yeah. No, that was one of the, that was one of the better ones. I, it took me a while to find a flaw in it,

but inevitably there was one. You found it. You found it. I found it. You were great. Well, so here's the deal i have a question for you because i'm interested to we all are we always ask all of our guests do you think that the world is getting dumber by the day or are we just privy to more dumb behavior oh that's a very complicated question yeah Yeah. And I think it's possible that both are true. I think two things can be true in a situation like this.

You know? I think we're just getting dumb. Yeah. Right. Also, a dumb person would tell you that no, two things can't be true. A dumb person would fight that point. No. Come on.

In a world of multitudes, only one thing. Both A and C. If you're dumb, there's no multi, it's just tudes. It's just tudes, man, and there are a lot of them. Changes in latitudes. Well, here's the deal. We get stories sent to us from our

awesome fans. They send them to Dan. If you just go on Twitter and just do a hashtag dumb people town to at Daniel Van Kirk on Twitter, it's timestamped and he gets to see who sent it first. And then Dan looks at them. Jay and I don't know the stories. You don't know the stories. I barely read them.

Sometimes I don't even remember them by the time we do them. And so we're going to, let's get into one right now. Let's do it. This was sent in by law. Assessing. Assessina. I think it's La Assessina. Assessina?

Both things can be true, guys. She's badass. She's amazing. She is. At La Assessina, or the way it's supposed to be said, MMA, on Twitter.

Okay, I'm going to read you guys the headline because this is all the dumb you need man who denies his home is a restaurant has restaurant sign over front door okay okay so he's right it'd be like if your kid was like are you you're putting christmas presents that say santa under the tree are you santa no no no this is the same thing like i have a restaurant my house is not a restaurant go ahead now now was it was it a restaurant first or was it his home first i feel like residential home although it would be great if he was like shacking up at a mcdonald's right so then he was like or he was like i live in a restaurant i don't live in a

home so my home is not my restaurant unless it it's Olive Garden. Well, when you're there, you're family. Yeah, if you're about to get divorced. I mean, you got to ask, does he eat there? Yeah. If he doesn't eat there, that's a different situation. What if he does not eat at his house and yet he's calling it a restaurant? I mean, then it is, right? Yeah.

If you're only serving other people, you don't eat there, then that's a service establishment. That's it. I'm going to, Rand will help me out here, but I'm going to show you guys just before we get into it. This is a picture of his house, and it definitely is a restaurant sign above his very residential home. Yeah, it doesn't look like a restaurant at all, but the sign will tell you otherwise. And I love that it's just called Orlando's. Look at this. Don't you want to go to Orlando's? Pull up background.

See, that's a house. That's a house. With a restaurant. That's a house. No, that's a house. So listen, if you want to see what this house looks like, join the Facebook page and you can see what Dan will post. Also, it's true. It is a house. It's also a restaurant. Orlando's sounds like a terrible Houston's

knockoff. Right. It's a street food restaurant in a landlocked state. I'm still not convinced that there's food served out of that establishment. Here we go. I'm going to read. I don't buy it. I feel like that's like a college student's house and he just had that sign.

It does feel like that. For sure. Who stole the restaurants right he took the money he was supposed to spend on books and went to kinko's there's still a kinko's in his town yes college town and he had this sign made here's the here's how it gets going a man who denied he was running a japanese restaurant from his home by the way there's no way this cat's japanese there's no you know You know, my favorite region in Japan is the Orlando region. It's right by Kyoto. He says he denied he was running a Japanese restaurant from his home

despite neighbors' complaints and a large illuminated sign hanging above his front door. He reportedly is trading during lockdown. Now, this comes from... This is Oxfordshire.com in the UK or.co. He's trading food for what? No, they're saying trading isn't selling like a trading post. He's selling food.

Oh, okay. Got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Well, wait. So, I mean, obviously, there's the restaurant sign on the door. Then there's the trail of chopsticks to the drive. To the drive. And he yells the trail of chopsticks to the drive.

And he yells out and greets to you when you walk in. Okay, see, that's just what the suburbs is like, right? You wave at people. And sometimes you have food. See, I'm still not convinced. This is a tough story for me because I feel like maybe I'm dumb. No, I don't think so either. I'll be honest with all of you.

If I knew of a secret restaurant house that was really good, I wouldn't turn them in. And by the way, if I knew of a secret restaurant house that was really, really good, and if I let any of the three of you know about it, it would shut down, I would say it doesn't exist. Haven't all of us been to or heard of gas stations in various cities that have some of the best food? Barbecue. Yes. Yes. Of course. And you know somebody lives there.

You know somebody lives there. Oh, yes. I've been to bars in Wisconsin that were someone's living room. I'm not joking. I was in Cuba. There's something called Paladars in Cuba. Which are like restaurants in people's homes. You walk through the person's house,

pass their grandma on a chair, and you go upstairs on the roof, and they have like a 12-table restaurant. It's the best food I've ever had in my life. And you smell it. They're cooking it in the kitchen. Oh, I'm in for this. That's how they make money.

Right. I mean, guys, you just, none of you have been to Orlando's before. Or Norwich. Norwich City Council said enforcement officers. I feel like I've been to enough house shows in LA that I know this is believable. That's like a house comedy show. This does not sound like...

The house show in LA. God, that's so true. Norwich City Council said enforcement officers will reopen an investigation into what is happening at Orlando Williams' house after a reporter from the Eastern Daily Press was sold a takeaway meal. So she got to go. Also, I love that they're reopening. At one point, the cops in Norwich were like,

ah, we can't figure it out. They've closed the case on it. But now the reporter was like, I just got to go food from there. They're like, all right, I guess we got to reopen this cold case. Just got warm. The food and the case. This is a new hbo documentary i'll be fed in the dark there you go i i just struggled that we we still don't know who killed tupac i know reopening this case yes they're reopening this case right please can we put resources where

resources need to go last year can the authority can we please can we please ask puff daddy some questions yes this was back when he was still puff daddy back when he was puff daddy and he Last year. The authority. Could we please ask Puff Daddy some questions? Yes. This was back when he was still Puff Daddy. Back when he was Puff Daddy and he wasn't just. What is he now? He is a Ciroc spokesman. He actually became Brother Love at one point for like a month. But nobody bought it.

Nobody was into it. Yeah. Right after the George Floyd, didn't he have a Brother love family meeting and invited like Amy Schumer and somebody else? Yes, and people got mad at Amy Schumer. Yeah. Is that why people got mad at Amy Schumer? Yeah, one of the reasons. Okay.

Okay. So they said they reopened the case last year. Although I did love that Amy Schumer sent a video of her performing at the Tulsa Arena when it was full to be like, this is what it looks like when it's full. I'll take that. Is that what happened? She sent that to Trump. It was like, just so you know what it looks like when it's full, you dumb fat piece of shit. We need to get a t-shirt

that says, dumb people town, both things are true. Both things are true. Both things are true. The authority investigated the address in Earlham Road in Norwich, which features a large sign reading Orlando's above the door and a phone number and a web address. That is not like a, this is our home sign. No. That is a advertisement.

Do you think this, do you think this restaurant, quotes, has like a choking sign right in the foyer? You know, like what to do if someone's you know that choking thing oh man you know what i feel like given everything that's going on right now i feel like that's too on the nose not a choke outside it feels like i feel like a white establishment would have a lot of uh internal conflict about whether to keep that sign up to put a hundred percent that's great a hundred percent we... This is not how you do a... Do we keep it in solidarity? Yeah.

Do we keep the choking sign? I don't know what to do. I... Take it off the wall here and put it out front. Put it outside. Officials reportedly took no enforcement action at the time as they found no, quote, definitive evidence that the house was

operating as a restaurant so these cops couldn't just before i say the next thing to you that i just read these cops were like there's no way for us to be able to tell if it's an audience or an audience a restaurant right and he would only be in trouble if he was breaking codes well yeah you'd have to go by certain health codes and you have to get a business license yeah okay you'd have to do all the cops are like okay and there's they're still on the is this a restaurant phase yes they don't know okay he's gonna he's gonna get away he's gonna he's gonna be fine he's gonna be the next sentence that says the eastern daily press reporter said she was recently sent a menu by text message when and was asked to pay in cash to pick up the food from the back of the house. That's how hard it is to crack this case.

You just text the number, they send you a menu, then they say, come pick up your food. It's like a drug deal. Just get a food truck. I don't know why this is such a big deal. I feel like they've got to be way outside the 48-hour window right now. There's no way they're going to

solve this crime. This is going to go cold. Like the food, it's going to go cold. She said she was given the option to eat in despite lockdown restrictions, although she chose to take her order away. She was also sold alcoholic drinks as well as food. This is a full service establishment. Orlando's is crushing.

Did we tell you about when we were down in New Orleans? We told you this. Everybody's got a side hustle in New Orleans. Jay and I checked into our hotel, which was like a big chain hotel. Like a Marriott. Like a Marriott or something. And the guy at the front desk was like, you guys want something to drink? We like checked in at night.

We're like, yeah, sure. He kicks over a cooler by his foot and opens up and it's like $3 for beers. I was like, wait a minute. I love this guy. There's a bar in this this building there's a bar 50 feet from are they cool with you doing this do they know you're doing there's also a bar right yeah you check in see that's what happens when you don't raise the minimum wage that's right they gotta get a side hustle but it's not even on the side it's it's running next it's at your below a foot hustle by the way and that beer looked better than anything at the bar.

Yeah. I think we gave them money. Yes, we did. Of course we did. You know, they say empires collapse from the inside, and I think that includes the Marriott Hotel. That's for sure. You have no idea.

One front desk employee at a time. Orlando Williams, who lives at the address, previously ran a Japanese restaurant called Sakuraura yakaniki at norwich city center and denies running a restaurant from the property asked about the sign last year that's how long this has been going on for orlando williams reportedly told the paper all i do i have my name on my house that's it and his and his phone number and a website which if you and, we'll send you a menu. Which, by the way, how many people are driving by going, Honey, I want something to eat tonight.

Let's drive through this residential neighborhood and see if there are any homes that also double as restaurants. Well, there's Orlando's. Or they have the thing like, What do you want? I don't know. Can we just right now, are we just going to end up getting Orlando's? Because why are we going to fight about this if we know we're both going to end up just getting orlandos tonight do they have regulars yes i bet he does that's how he does business oh for sure regulars uh he said quote there is no restaurant there which i assume he was also in his house

which is the restaurant when he said that that's like his version of there's no there there. For sure. When he was asked for comment after the reporter was sold a takeaway meal this year, he said, quote, I'm not going to say anything. What you did was wrong. He stays blaming you. Let me put it on you for a second. I mean, look, that is entrapment if she's a cop. She's just a reporter. She's a reporter.

I'm saying if she was a cop. For sure. That's right. If she was a cop. She's just a reporter. She's a reporter. I'm saying if she was a cop. For sure. That's right. If she was a cop, that's entrapment. That is. That's entrapment. What he's saying is, if you're foolish enough to accept my text message with a menu, order food, pay me money, go around to the back, then that's on you.

You did something wrong. You have committed a crime. Yes. Yes. I agree. You followed through on my plan. How dare you? I was just seeing if people would do it.

Right. I mean, I feel like we're ignoring the fact that this woman committed a sting operation on a dude's house. That's right. On a restaurant in a dude's house. That's right. And also did it a year after the cops gave up.

She's like, I'm going to blow this wide open. Why do you care? The council has previously approved an application for the property to be used as a bed and breakfast but such approval does not allow the business to serve alcohol or operate as a restaurant the facebook page bring this back for sakura yakaniku announced that the restaurant had reopened at the earl Road address in October of 2018 after a temporary closure in 2015. So they also advertised on their Facebook page that the Japanese restaurant was back open at the same address as the house. I get it now. This guy does not want to pay

like two rents. He's like, this is my house. I'm going to pay for my house. Right. And I'm also going to, it's going to be my, or we're not allowed to have the restaurant. So we're just going to do, if you're paying for the house, where are you going to pay for it? Do they, what kind of Japanese food is it by the way i just i feel like that's important it now i don't think it's sushi maybe it's shabu shabu where you cook on the table it's a japanese restaurant called sakura yakaniku which by the way sakura yakaniku i know a very small bit of japanese oh really sak Sakura Yakuniko translates very loosely to Orlando's. Stop it.

At first, I wondered where you were going. Then I felt where you were going. And then I couldn't wait for you to get there. It's terrible. Before you finished, I was like, he doesn't speak any Japanese. No, he doesn't. For sure. There's no way. As his brother, I knew he didn't speak Japanese. I just wanted to see where it played.

I feel like maybe this is me being prejudiced, but I was like, why does only one of you speak Japanese? Maybe I'm married to a Japanese woman. Hey, you never know. A Norwich City Council spokesman told the Eastern Daily Press, meanwhile, that's the only people who have cracked this case, this is the first report the council has received concerning allegations that takeaway food and drink items were purchased and in-house dining was offered.

Council officers will look into this issue in terms of what is and isn't permitted activity for the business, and we will be in touch directly with Orlando Williams about this. Okay, but because it's an online thing and you text and then you go there, why does he have to have Orlando's as a sign? Because he wants the cred. To me, that's him flaunting it in a way that Orlando Williams doesn't have to. He could get away with it if there was no sign. The ego. Maybe he's going for landmark status. You see the big restaurant sign.

And that's legal immunity. That's right. That's immunity right there. He probably feels like people feel better if there is a sign. It's more legit. There's some sort of cognitive dissonance there that they're like, well, it kind of isn't, right? Look at the sign.

I mean, look at the sign. It's very professional. So I'm sure the food is great. All right. That's story number one. There we go. Story number one in the books. That's it. We'll be back right after this with more Dumb People Town. Yedoya Travis is with us. Don't go anywhere.

Stick around. Make a sound for more Dumb People Town. Hey, guys. Welcome back to the show. A couple of things we want to promote. Dan Van Kirk is doing a headlining set of comedy, which we did at this Nowhere Comedy Club, which is a virtual show.

You can watch it from your living room. We had 375 people show up for our show, and it was fantastic. Dan, you were on that show. Yeah, I'm hoping I can get 20. Stop. Tell them when the show is. July 16th at 6 o'clock LA time. That's 8 o'clock Rochelle, Illinois time.

I'm going to be doing a lot of the stuff that I did with you guys. One of those bits, that was the first time I did it, so it'll be the second time I did that. I love it. And I'm going to be doing a brand new story and bit that I have never talked about before on microphone or on any show because it just happened to me while I was on the road getting my pinball machine from Rochelle.

So Dan drove from LA, rented like a U-Haul. No, I rented an F-150 truck. Rented truck and then drove to North of Chicago, picked up a vintage Chicago Cubs pinball machine. Did someone give it to you? I bought it in 2005 and then I sold it to have money to move to LA to be a comic. 2005 and then i sold it to have money to move to la to be a comic and two years ago the guy i sold it to called me up and said do you want to buy your pinball machine back and so i was able to buy it back and then it sat in rochelle for about a year like in a little storage that my family had access to and i just went and got it it's so it is a phenomenal it's amazing what a great that's

incredible so it's awesome it's an old chicago cubs it's such a great great great great uh five years old amazing and dan is that's the most full circle shit i've ever heard that's what i feel like like every time i look at it i'm like you got it back i have you again yeah those are the type of fans you have and in the people loved you on our show so we're gonna tell everybody who dumb people town people support dan this is a great way to show up and have a cool night of comedy have you ever have you ever done a show at this thing it's uh ben glebe's thing it's called the nowhere comedy club it actually is the closest closest thing i can think of to doing stand-up you hear that that's the uh online thing right yeah yeah they put everybody like one fifth volume and uh so you can kind of

hear some of the people you can obviously because of the people. You can obviously, because of the grid view, you can see a lot of the people. And like you guys, I go full microphone setup and all that stuff, so it feels really real to me. And also, I feel like it's a great opportunity to be like, well, if I can't get the traditional real feeling that we normally get in a club, I want to work out then. Like I'm going to do some new stuff and work some new things out anyway

because then the expectation level is actually lower. But tickets are only $10 for the first 100 people i don't know if we sold that many by now then after that they're 15 and then for an extra 15 you can do a post show hang with me dude it's a great night and when you think about it if you are in a couple or someone and and you want to watch a show uh for 10 bucks 15 bucks can't beat it live comedy have you done have you done any online shows you do I have done probably too many online shows. Okay. I've done no headlining.

That's not a thing for me. I don't know. I actually did a show on Animal Crossing the other week. What? Nice. Yeah. Somebody set up a whole comedy club in their Animal Crossing house. Wow.

We just did like a little fully digital show. Phenomenal. So what is your character in the Animal Crossing? Oh, it's just me. Oh, okay, cool. It's just like a little teeny version of me. He wears a hat. But could you do it as like a little rabbit or something?

Could people do that? I don't think you can be an animal, but there are animals on your island. Yeah, for sure. Dude, that is so funny and cool. Are the audience there? They're on there too? Yeah, they're on there.

I think 200 people showed up too. Oh my God, amazing. It's so great. Yeah, it was great. What a genius idea. People can follow you. You're a great follow Yeah, it was great. It was great. What a genius idea. Yeah. People can follow you. You are a great follow on Instagram.

I love following you on Instagram. Professor Doye, right? Yes. At Professor Doye? Yes. And on Twitter too? Twitter is YedoyeOT. Okay.

Nice. Great follow. All the stuff. You'll find out what he's up to, how to catch him. Are you writing now? What are you doing besides um i just finished writing for a netflix show and i am you know just taking meetings i'm taking meetings what show were you can you say what show you're working on are we not allowed to say oh i was working on the crew with kevin james right now awesome yeah

excellent and you're also in the uh in the ads on the show that we're on, which by the way, we should mention to people, the Bud Light ads, right? Yeah. Yeah. That's me.

On Tournament of Laughs. You're funny on it. And we are, we made it to the second round. I think we made it to the second round. So we're going to be on the second round of that show this Sunday. This Sunday. Vote for us.

Vote for us. We want to keep going. It's like a Philippines election. You can vote early and often. Yeah, please do it. Yes. Vote for them. Watch me. I have no stakes. That's it. You have no stakes. You're funny in between. I love the bit that we did for this week.

We shot the next bit already, too, in case we make it pass. I love that. So just vote for us because we'd love to move on. That's it. Show out, townies. Show your strength if you can. If you go to tournamentoflabs.com, you can vote.

Yeah, tournamentoflabs.com, and you find our little bracket matchup and just vote. All right, let's jump into this next story. And the voting opens at 7.30, by the way. 7.30 Pacific time on Sunday. Gotcha. All right, let's do it. You ready? Yep. Send in by Liz Haggerty.

At Liz Haggerty. at Liz Haggerty, H-A-G-E-R-T-Y-L-I-Z is Liz. Thank you, at Liz Haggerty. Okay, I have a headline. I'm just going to tell you what it is. Woman loses cat and can't take a hint. Here we go. That's the headline?

Well, I made it up. Okay. An Australian woman was reunited with her cat after the pet went missing and ended up how many miles away? How many miles away do you guys think this woman, her cat, let her cat get away from her? And is that an indication of how much the cat doesn't like you? This is it. That's what he's saying. That's what I'm thinking. And I know you have nothing else to go on, but just for fun, grab me a number. Anyone.

You are a guest. You can go first, Yadoye. Or last. I'm going to go. I feel like eight miles is a reasonable guess. Eight miles. Yeah, eight miles is far for a cat to go. Sure.

Cats don't go miles. Sure. That's like a reasonably unreasonable number, I think. That's for sure. Exactly. Jay, what do you think? That said, I'm going to say 15 miles. I think it is an insane number. I think that's for sure exactly jay what do you think that said i'm gonna say 15 miles i think it is an insane number i think it's just crazy i'm gonna say like 170 miles away all right an australian woman was reunited with her cat after the pet

stowed away in a moving truck and took a journey of more than 700 miles away so i so i always think this because if you've ever wondered does my cat like me no answer is no goodbye uh okay i definitely thought the cat was on foot so i feel like that was uh that was unclear i understand living cat got an assist uh i always wonder like if a like a fly flies onto a plane in los angeles and then like a flight to New York and then it comes out in New York is it like oh shit I live in New York now like there's no way that fly is getting back to Los Angeles gotta make like new

friends and have like a whole new life right yeah right and what does it think it's like I don't know this place yeah yeah there's a lot of garbage what were you gonna say yeah I lived a whole life in LA I feel like that I feel like a fly would die between LA and New York. Possibly.

But if it survives and it comes out and it's like, wait, why is everyone being so brash? But what's the cat going to do now 700 miles away? Georgia Whip. Whip. That's her name? Yes. That's the cat or the woman? The woman.

Okay. This is definitely a woman. Her name is what? Georgia Whip. Her name is what? Georgia Whip. Whip. Whip. Georgia Whip?

Yeah. There's way too much history behind a name. I mean, exactly. That just sounds like, what were your parents thinking? Put it this way. If she was a statue, she'd be removed. Yes. Right. We'd be taking her down.

Yes. Georgia Whip of Longreach, Queensland. This is in Australia. Queensland is is it Australia or is it New Zealand? Oh, you're right. It is probably New Zealand. Okay. Said her neighbors moved out Friday night and she noticed about

a half hour after the moving truck left that her cat P-puss. Oh boy. P-p-u-S-S. No one has a good name in this story. By the way, no wonder it left. Is it P-puss or P-puss? It's P-puss.

Maybe Georgia Whip stutters. What if that cat was like, call me that fucking name one more time. I swear to God, I will go 700 miles away from you. First moving truck I can get on. I'm out of here. Is Australia even 700 miles wide? I feel like that truck must have moved around a couple times.

Okay, so that makes me believe that it is actually Australia, because New Zealand isn't 700 miles. New Zealand is not 700 miles. And it says Australian woman. Okay. She could have moved, I suppose. Who knows? It's possible.

So Papus went missing. She realized this about a half hour. I feel like I love cats and I love dogs. Both things can be true. But you would know if the dog was gone for a half hour. If the dog was gone for... A dog, you'd be like... Ten minutes, you'd be like, where is the dog?

Where is my dog? A half hour, you're like, eh, we'll figure it out. Dan, we have said this before. Randy and I are not cracking the code on the differences between cats and dogs. I know, but it's fun. We have a new bit. We have a new approach to it, which is that dogs are like your absolutely drunkest friend. Like you're constantly like, he's laying on the kitchen floor.

Get him up. Get him up. He just threw up. Oh, he's eating it. You have to say to him this is my food that's your food run him around the block a little bit he's getting disoriented don't give him more he'll start hanging around you you know that kind of thing stop staring at me while i eat right so and please put your dick away

cat is like your high friend who's like playing with a ball of string for six hours straight he's under the bed and all he's doing things that only he understands why he's up in the tree you're like no no no you're gonna scare him don't scare him just wait for him to come down on his own literally it's having a whole conversation just in his head yeah he said by himself connecting dots that only he sees chasing a laser pointer also your high friend and your cat you're like what why are you looking at me like that right just say what you need to say what does he want are you angry what is with you use your words but you're right dan yeah if you if if half hour is like i think a short period of time to be like where's my cat a hundred percent dog though dog though where the hell's

the dog that's right um okay so i feel like my if my dog's not in my sight i'm like i'm asking questions a hundred percent but you live in i feel like if my dog's not in my sight, I'm asking questions. 100%. But you live in a New York apartment. I feel like if your dog gets away, you always see him get away also. Right, that's right. They tell you.

He's running away. He's running away. It's like I opened the door and he just left. Gone. That's what happened. It's my fault. I opened the door and he was gone.

It's my fault. I did it. I did it. Kat, you're like, it's your fault. Georgia Whip said she was especially... Georgia Wh whip also sounds like the most insensitive country band georgia whip sounds like they open for rascal flats right and it's news to them that their name might be problematic georgia whip i feel like just changed their name from something way worse in the past three weeks right they feel like is this better and everybody's like no no no their name used to be

it used to be storm thurman yeah that's strong a storm storm uh okay so then whip said that's georgia if you're nasty that she was especially concerned when the feline didn't show up for breakfast the next morning also this is with your guys guys' bit why you can never call an animal your kid. Because no kid would you be like, let's just see if she shows up for breakfast. Wait him out. Wait him out. Shows up for breakfast like they had a date. I feel like that's your problem is you're having breakfast at the same time as your cat. That's right. You're not equals. What are you doing? This is not a date. You're not looking at the cat going, what are we doing tonight? Going to Orlando's? Let's go. Come on.

I was wondering if she... Go ahead, brother. You respect your cat too much. Far too much. I was wondering if she did get into the truck because she gets into cars if someone's parked out front and left their windows down. This cat wants to get away from her.

It's trying to leave. This is a long time coming. This cat's trying to get away from trying to leave most cats just want this is a long time coming yeah this cat's trying to get into any car that leaves its windows down it tries to get into a when it saw a moving truck it was like thank the lord for the night time constantly runs along trains box cars to try and jump he's got the little like knapsack on the stick uh she said she said uh he does jump into other people's cars when they leave their windows down. She told this to the Australian Broadcasting Corporation.

Georgia contacted the moving company that helped her neighbor and received word later in the day that the drivers had located Peepus and that the truck, it was at the truck depot in Brisbane, nearly 750 miles from home. And then they said,

and against Peepus's wishes, we're bringing her back. Oh, no. Ready for this? Georgia said that a second call came in from the moving company a half hour later, informing her that the cat had escaped from them in the container.

It's an outdoor cat. It's an outdoor cat. It's a jailbreak. Right. Yeah. There's no way in which this's a jailbreak. Right. Yeah. There's no way in which this cat's like, can I, guys, just call her up and say I got away. Yeah.

I'm trying to leave Georgia Whip. You have no idea what it's like. This is not an advertisement for how loving cats can be. Yeah, this is sounding more and more like a slave story, and I am not comfortable with it. No. Whip said. Do not like it yeah she

she shouldn't be able to go back and get her cat she shouldn't cite the dread scott case sure sorry was the person that found her on a horse stop georgia said the employees caught pee puss again the next night when the cat tripped security alarms. This cat is trying to get away. Yeah, a Facebook post put up by Georgia seeking help transporting people's home came to the attention of laws. Batley. I don't know who that person is, but I know they have like they once shoplifted

and I don't mean I didn't might have been on the necessity. I'm just saying laws. Batley laws. Batley definitely has had a Halloween costume where he had a giant lollipop. For sure. He's got the little spinner hat and everything.

Loz Batley. I just want to hear one good name in this story. One name that makes sense. Peoples. Georgia Whiff. Batley's the president of the Central queensland animal society in rockhampton batley was able to find volunteers to drive peepus back home to long reach also they did this like relay race style yeah i didn't think we'd see her again after she she escaped in

brisbane uh georgia whip said i'm really happy she's back and so thankful for everyone who's helped get her back to long Reach. I can't believe it's a happy ending. Not if you're Peepus. Not for the cat. That is a Long Reach, by the way. There's so much drama in the LRC. There you go. It's kind of hard being

Peepus. P-U-S-S. Double Peepus. And me. And me. There you go, story two. Dan, can you give us a tease of what we're going to hear in segment three? Some people get very upset about cereal. Okay. Look, cereal is very proprietarial.

People get very, very proprietarial. I'm sorry, did you say Syria? Cereal. Cereal. So you people get upset about Syria? No. Cereal. The podcast from This American Life.

Cereal. No, it's actual breakfast food. Okay. Thanks,. Cereal. No, it's actual breakfast food. Okay, thanks, Dan. I'll be back with more. One more story. Yodoya Travis is with us. This is Dumb People Town. Don't go anywhere.

Stick around. Make a sound. There's more Dumb People Town. Hey, guys. Welcome back to the show. One story to go. Dan, take us home. I will.

Really quick. I want to update everybody. Let them know. I am doing Game Night Hangs the show. One story to go. Dan, take us home. I will. Really quick. I want to update everybody. Let them know I am doing game night hangs with people. It is sold out. So if you weren't able to get first tickets to it's not a show, it's a hang. Fifteen people. We hang out. We play a game night. I will be doing more in July and probably again in August. They take about an hour and a half and it's just me and you playing a game and hanging out. That's so fun. Yeah. Okay, here we go. Yeah. The game is fine. Yeah. Okay, here we go. The game is fine peepus.

Alabama man attacked roommate over stale Captain Crunch cereal. That's our headline. Jesus. Sent in by law. That's how Nina. That sounds about right. I know. Here we go. Thank you. Thank you. Another one.

Here we go. So already, I know it's going to come to this, Yodoya, that we're going to have to guess the age of these guys. I just know that's going to happen. I'm imagining two people in their late 60s. I'm imagining two friends of mine. So I imagine they're about 28. Okay.

All right. Good. Solid. An Alabama man allegedly beat his roommate up after discovering that the victim had failed to properly seal a box of Captain Crunch cereal, which had gone stale. I'm going to say that's fair. I'm going to say that the fight is not necessarily just about the cereal.

Yeah, what do you think? I feel like if it was any other state, I would say this had been building up over a long period of time. But I went to high school in Alabama, so this sounds like a one-off thing. Yeah, okay. Spur of the moment. Did you go to high school? Where in Alabama? I went to high school like 20 miles south.

It was Indian Spring School. Oh, okay. It's a little boarding school. Very nice. Dwayne Barry Smith, DBS, was arrested Friday for domestic violence following a confrontation with the man he shares a residence in Moundville, a town outside of Tuscaloosa. According to police, the victim said that Smith became upset upon discovering the stale cereal and blamed him for failing to keep the Cap'n Crunch fresh. So are we... This is deep in quarantine.

This just happened, right? I have no idea. They're clearly quarantining together. This is like, this is a bubbling. I think this is a bubbling. There's a weird feeling I have that we did this story. No, no, we haven't done this story. We have not done this story.

This is from February 2018. Oh, I don't think we did this story. I don't care if we did or didn't. It's new to us. It's new to me. Yeah, it's new to us and Travis. This guy didn't close the cereal, and then the other guy rolled Tide all over him.

That's what we're trying to say. That's right. Also, any Cap'n Crunch fans in this Zoom right now? Who doesn't? Oh, very much so. Yeah, like Cap'n Crunch, too. I love just when the roof of my mouth is just covered in blood. That's my favorite thing.

It does scrape. My favorite thing about cereal. A lot of scraping. It's like eating fiberglass at points. I't even think kavin crunch is in my top five top five give it to us dan oh cheerios rice krispies cocoa pebbles corn pops apple jacks wow you do it wow can you i'm gonna go i'm gonna go uh honey nutios Yes The best You and Carmelo Anthony's wife Reese's Puffs Reese's Puffs

You just want candy Reese's Oh yeah I fuck with candy all the way Frosted Flakes Yep Frosted Flakes But I like the generic brand

Because they still Call themselves Frosted Flakes They don't give a fuck They do That's what we always got growing up There's no copyright in France Your Honor Are are they flakes are they for their flakes their flakes just no tiger just no tiger king yeah uh golden grams nobody talks with golden oh man i love gold solids they make the milk taste great and then then, let's go Lucky Charms.

I thought Lucky Charms. That would probably have been my sixth. So my kids are into Lucky Charms, and there are a whole new group of marshmallows in that series. Have you gone all marshmallows for those kids yet? No, but they pick them out. Oh, they don't like them? No, they want them.

They only eat those. You know when you go online, you can buy just a bag of marshmallows. Just marshmallows. Mushrooms would be great for my kids. Top five? Top five for me. For Jason's class.

Honey Nut Cheerios, Sugar Corn Pops, Corn Chex. I like an old-fashioned Corn Chex. If you say Grape Nuts, I'm kicking you out of my apartment. No Grape Nuts. If you say Weetabix, you're going to get literally... You seem like a Honey Bunches, Oats kind of guy. Good God, stop. No.

And then Fruit Loops. I love Fruit Loops. And Apple Jacks. They feel like cousins to each other, and I still like them both. A round O that's sugary. A little bit more cinnamon in your Apple Jacks. Apple Jacks are like colorblind Fruit Loops. Right.

That's right. That's right. That's like we ran out of all the dyes, and this is the only one we got. And then last one. God. That's right. That's like we ran out of all the dyes and this is the only one we got. And then last one. God damn. Cookie Crisp? I loved Cookie Crisp. Cookie Crisp is real good. I'll do that. Okay. You know the funny thing

about Cookie Crisp is they're just cookies. They are just cookies. Regular cookies are that crispy. I've seen it. They're like little biscuits. Yeah, but what's better than cookies and milk? Nothing. I definitely am with you on the corn checks. That's my favorite non-sugar cereal is corn checks. I think it's the best.

But I also, I'm a sugar smacks. Dig them. Sugar smacks. Really? Remember sugar smacks? Oh, yeah. I love honey crisps. They're like tiny, like sugary vaginas.

All right? Sugar smacks. Those are good. You know what? I think that's what I meant when I said golden grams, but I'm a little high. Oh, no, no, no. But I'm a golden gram all the way, too, because I feel like gold- Sugar smacks are good. Maybe I should? I think that's what I meant when I said Golden Grahams, but I'm a little high. Oh, no, no, no. But I'm a Golden Graham all the way, too, because I feel like... Sugar Smacks are good.

Maybe I should say Golden Grahams instead of my last. I love Golden Grahams. I love Golden Grahams. Okay, so you're Golden Grahams, Sugar Smacks. Corn Chex. Corn Chex. I'm a Honey Nut Cheerios guy, too. It's just as good as it gets.

It's like a whole thing. I can scoop it and grab a whole thing of them. Two more. And then Cocoa Krispies. And then Cocoa Krispies. I love Cocoa Krispies. Yeah, dude. Wow. That's Cocoa Pebbles too.

Because Cocoa Krispies makes your milk chocolate milk. I know. When you're done, you are literally sitting with a bowl of a drink that you didn't order and now you've got it. Oh, yeah. I don't even eat the cereal. I just let it sit for a while. Strain it.

Strain it. Strain it. You got chocolate milk. I have gone through times in my life where I was way into kicks. Strain it. Strain it. Strain it. You got chocolate milk. I have gone through times in my life where I was way into Kix. I was way into it. Kid testing. Not Kix. Hold on.

People act like Kix is not good. It's like a hidden flavor to it. I love it. It's got like the perfect amount of sugar. It's the best chocolate I've ever eaten. Now, Kix is not good. Tricks are for kids, and Kix are for kids without dads. Is that right?

Is that right? Yes. Okay. That would apply. That's why I said it. Okay. Dwayne Barry Smith there in Monville. He beat up his roommate. Okay.

He said because of Cap and Crunch wasn't kept fresh. Smith was especially perturbed since he is missing teeth and had difficulty consuming the stale cereal. This is a medical condition. All right. Also plan should not give you any indication of their age just to give you a missing teeth.

By the way, if you watch tiger King, that was like everyone ever is even 25 years old. If you've done enough meth, you will lose your teeth. Yeah, right. Yeah.

What was that show about? Otherwise? Exactly. Yeah. It was just lack of teeth. It was just teeth. At one point, right before the fight, he wanted his roommate to try and consume the stale Cap'n Crunch. That show is about missing teeth and missing first husbands.

That's right. For sure. When the man refused, so his roommate's like, I'm not eating the stale Cap'n Crunch. No. When the man refused, Smith allegedly began striking the victim with an electrical cord. That's some Georgia whip shit. It's an Alabama whip.

Is that his son? That sounds like father-son violence. That's a Adrian Peterson shit. Please, dear God, no. As first reported by Moundville Times, Smith's roommate suffered injuries to his face, hand, and arm because he fought it.

Because you're getting Georgia whipped by a thing. Employees at the Hale County jail declined to say whether Smith was in custody or had been bonded out on the misdemeanor charge. Misdemeanor seems a little low for this. I want to ask you guys, how old do you think Dwayne Barry Smith is? I knew we'd get to this.

So they press charges and then they have to live together again. Of course they do. Guy press charges. All right. Okay. Can I ask what race he is before I answer that question? I don't. Are there no pictures?

I don't think. Let me see if I can bring it up. I don't know why, but I feel like a white Dwayne is way older than a black Dwayne. Fair enough. I don't know why, but that is like a white Dwayne is way older than a black Dwayne. Fair enough. I don't know why, but I think that might have been the truest statement spoken today. Although, how old would Dwayne Dwayne be today? Dwayne Dwayne would be... I have no idea.

I mean, come on. In a different world, he was probably... He was probably 22 or 21. And that was what, 92? 80s. 80s. Or no, 89. 90, 99. Sos. 80s. Or no, 89. 90, 99.

So he's probably like 58. Yeah, maybe. 60. Meanwhile, Dwayne Wade, like 40. Dwayne Wade. Exactly. So it checks out. No, he is 40.

He is 40. He seems like an old 40, doesn't he? All right. He does. Like he's 40. He's got a whole like grown child. So you're young. Are you 28? Are you around 28, 29? I'm 28, yeah. He does. He's got a whole grown child. You're young. Are you 28?

Are you around 28, 29? I'm 28, yeah. We're 20 years older than you. I'm 48. Are you going to say that you have a Dwayne age guess on this too? I know what I guessed, and that's what I stated at the beginning, but I'm curious. We don't know the race, so we need to hear,

are you going to give a black answer and a white answer? Um, I think, I think I, I'm going to, I'm going to jump to the conclusion here that this man is white based on location. And I feel like this is anger that only comes from like,

from football being out for that's right. And, and black people in Burma in alabama don't really care that much right they do but they don't so i'm i i think this man is white and i think he is 58 58 years old jason's class so i think he's white too because the no teeth thing i don't know why it just i feel like that is a meth white situation. So I'm going to say, I was going to go older too. I'm going to say 46. 46.

I'm going to say 66. 66. This guy feels like a 66-year-old man with a roommate, and that tells you all you need to know. 66-year-old man with a roommate, not a wife, not just a roommate. Someone's going to get beaten with an electrical cord. Okay, so you're saying? 66.

56. 58. 58. 46. 46. Dwayne Barry Smith. We will get out of here on this. Is 52 years old.

Oh! Tie goes to the guest. Tie goes to the guest. Wow! Congratulations. Nice job. Look at that. We've got six years away from him. We were close. Yeah. Wow. Ty goes to the guest Ty goes to the guest Wow Congratulations Nice job Look at that We've got six years away from him

We were close Yeah Wow That feels very good Oh my god Come on I haven't won anything in a long time This really feels

It feels good right It's satisfying And you can go away with that win And feel good about yourself You definitely What I loved is you thought about it You had a thought process Sure

You put it out there You showed your work Oh yeah I don't just say things I'm going to show my work Thank you I think that's important That's what we love about you What I loved is you thought about it. You had a thought process. You put it out there. You showed your work. Oh, yeah. I don't just say things. I'm going to show my work. Thank you. I think that's important. That's what we love about you.

Can I just say I'm so happy that we got connected with you at Montreal and let us continue this friendship as we go on? Me too, man. I'm so glad to have met you guys. I've been watching you since I was a baby. I'm not going to say how young and make you feel bad. We're old. That doesn't make us feel bad.

It feels great if you still are a fan and now a friend. So we appreciate you. We follow you. We tell our followers to follow you, Professor Doye on Instagram, and then... YedoyeOT on Twitter. YedoyeOT on Twitter. This guy's awesome. Good luck with the writing.

Thanks for coming on, man. Thanks for coming on. Thank you, guys. Thanks for having me. Watch him in the commercials good luck thanks for coming on watch him thanks for having me watch him in the commercials on Tournament of Laughs on Sunday night and then watch us

and vote for us vote for us and oh shit we gotta get back to work dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum

dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum stick around make a sound dunk it down it's Dump People Town Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb. Stick around. Make a sound. Calm your downies. Dumb people town. Starbanes Audio. A podcast network.