Duncan Trussell Family Hour - 340: Ari Shaffir
Episode Date: June 8, 2019Ari Shaffir, friend of the show and Los Angeles Most Noble Comedian Co-Winner (2016-2019) joins the DTFH! This episode is brought to you by Squarespace (use offer code: DUNCAN to save 10% on your fi...rst site).
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It's wonderful to be inside of your skull sharing with you one of my dearest, oldest friends.
I watched Ari's first set at the comedy store and I'll be there to watch his last set,
which will be two Wednesdays from now.
It's a two hour podcast because whenever I'm hanging out with Ari, I don't want to stop talking with him.
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All right.
Without further ado, it deeply thrills me to bring to you a conversation that plums the depths of the important political matters facing our country on this day.
Can farts be transformed into bird song using advanced technologies?
We explore these and many other burning questions that are haunting many of us.
And because both Ari and I have been awarded the Los Angeles most noble comedian award for the last three years straight,
there's a real chance that some of this stuff might go over your head.
Some people don't realize this, but before Ari and I came to the comedy store,
we were both professors at Stanford and we both have doctorates in world history and geopolitics.
So we do go deep.
You might want to have a dictionary nearby because we're going to use some pretty big words.
Get ready to have your intellect expanded to the universal scale.
Prepare yourself by spreading your legs apart and blowing an astral blast of mystic flatulence through the ether so that it lands on Ari's sleeping head wherever he may be.
Welcome to the Dunkin Trussell Family Hour Podcast, Ari Shafir.
It's the Dunkin Trussell Family Hour Podcast.
Obviously, Clear, Exxon and all these companies are influencing our election on purpose and we're just letting them.
Yeah, that's right.
And they're public about it.
Yeah.
That's not something we have to uncover.
It's happening.
Right in front of us.
It's a way bigger situation.
I don't know.
I think, to me, one of the things that is in the world of rapidly evolving.
Yeah.
You pee a little in your pants, by the way.
Oh, yeah.
That's not pee.
Isn't that a weird thing when you feel like defending the fact that your dick drips a little bit longer?
Is that what we're like?
You know what I mean?
It's not illegal.
How dare you not tap enough?
40 fucking five.
It's amazing.
I'm content at all.
Of course, it drizzled.
Yeah.
It'll dry up.
Relax.
Yeah.
Your dick's never drizzled.
In this world where ethics and morality and like...
Unfortunately, we just basically recorded a podcast and didn't record the podcast.
We had a great political conference.
But the problem is we're both idiots and we shouldn't be speaking publicly about some of this stuff.
You know, so this is something my wife said to me the other day.
She's like, you know, you've been wrong 100% of the time with all your political predictions.
And I thought about it.
I'm like, holy shit.
Holy shit.
I've literally been...
And that wasn't like a snarky thing.
That was like a statement of...
Because I scrolled back trying to think of one political prediction I've gotten right in the last year.
100% wrong.
All wrong.
Yeah.
All wrong.
It's so...
So yeah, I agree with you.
It's like the thing...
And also because there are so many experts out there who've gone to Stanford, who studied law,
who studied geopolitics, talking about this stuff in a very insightful way.
It's like, oh yeah, I don't know.
What the fuck are we gonna...
Like what do we have to add to the ongoing...
Because somebody...
I remember when Rogan used to be rail against marriage.
Rail against and give all the reasons why marriage is wrong.
And then he'd leave the room and whoever was just listened to him would try to say those things.
And you're like, you're not quite making as much sense as he did.
Because they've missed all the beats and the nuance.
They just don't...
You're parroting.
Yeah, they're parroting.
And it's like, what about this?
And I'm like, oh, I don't have an answer for that because I don't really know.
You haven't thought about it at all.
It's weird.
And we're good at parroting.
Yeah, that's what he said once about comics.
Give comics a mic.
Of course they're gonna act like experts.
Tell them I was a sports team.
They don't know shit.
They're gonna be like, well, I think the Yankees, they gotta rebuild, I guess.
They've heard that.
Well, it's a fool.
Yeah.
Like a fool is like, what's glorious about a fool is that...
They're never wrong.
People think like a fool is gonna like act not serious.
But some of the best comedians of all time are so serious, seeming.
And so one of the qualities of any comedian that I've noticed is they're very similar
to the people who climb Everest and don't know how to climb.
Yeah.
I can do it.
Yes.
It's so funny.
They really are the same.
I'm reading...
Oh, God, what's it fucking called?
End of Thin Air, I guess is what it's called.
Oh, God, so good.
I've read it probably five times.
I just love it.
It's a little over the course of my life.
May not five, three.
That's cool.
Now I'm listening to the audiobook.
It's just, you know, it's so exciting.
All those dummies are stuck up there right now.
So I'm like listening to it and realizing like, oh shit, this is about overconfidence.
Like this is about what happens when you decide you're fit for a job that you're absolutely
unfit.
Unfit for.
And how nature kills you.
The guy from the End of Men Islands.
Yeah.
The Christian.
Yeah.
I can convert them.
I'm number one.
I'm Tim and Tim is great.
That's right.
And you're like, oh dude, that doesn't work against a spear.
Or a tiger.
Like there's a video where I'm assuming you as, he's probably mentally ill.
So this isn't that fair.
But like a, there's a video of a guy who, I don't know that I got this feeling he's probably
religious or he thinks maybe he's having a manic episode.
He thinks he can talk to tigers.
So it's in India and he just climbs down in the tiger cage, sits there.
He's bowing to the tiger.
The tiger's looking at him and like it's a really cool thing to see the tiger begin to
realize is having the best day of his life.
Like, you know, it's that kind of thing where a tiger, like where you see $100 laying on
the ground.
There's no fucking way.
Whoa.
And the tiger's taking it in for a second.
Tiger doesn't know what bowing is.
It's just suddenly this, one of the things that's always standing there yelling at it
is sitting in front of him.
He can finally eat one.
And he just picks him up and walks away to another part of the tiger cage and eats him.
Wow.
And so similarly, it's like, well, that's, you do, you, you thought you could talk to
a tiger and it ate you.
It's like, this is called natural law.
You know, it's natural law.
It's like, you know, it's just the way it is.
You thought you were ready to climb one of the most dangerous peaks on planet Earth.
And you died because there was a fucking line at a top like a goddamn McDonald's at 2 30
a.m.
Did you see his pictures?
All those people thinking they're doing the biggest athletic feat in the world.
Yeah.
And there's a line.
Fucking line.
I, to me, I've been more photoshopped.
No, it was not.
Right.
Oh, no, it's real.
Wow.
Can you imagine that?
Getting there and be like, what?
And then you get to the top and you're like, come on, next man, we all need the picture.
Taking your insta.
And you're like, I kind of want to get, you've climbed mountains before.
Not like that.
I mean, like big hills.
I don't know.
Run the canyon.
Oh, that kind of shit.
Yeah.
But I'm saying like, you get to the top and you look out.
I'm saying you climb mountains.
I realize I don't mean that.
I'm so ashamed by how to take oxygen.
Oh, yeah.
But then you get to the top and you want to like sit there and be like, let me sit down
in this style, smoke a J and take the sin, whatever I've accomplished.
And they're like, no, it's Everest.
No, you got three minutes.
Next.
Next.
Yeah.
Sherpa Jim says, move it on.
Well, and then, and also because they were talking about how much space is up there anyway,
at the very top.
They were saying it's like eight feet of space up there or something.
So it's a tiny little bit of space to even stand on.
And you're, but you're also dealing with the fact that it's like, you know, any awesome
thing is diluted by a line.
Like you want to go to the bar that nobody knows about this, the coolest fucking thing
ever.
The moment like suddenly there's a line in front of the bar and the like any, you know,
time I found myself standing in line to get into a club, I've just automatically felt
dumb.
Stupid.
What's wrong with me?
This is going to be no different than any other fucking club I went to.
It's going to be, I don't care the DJ is, it's going to be the same thing.
Yeah.
What are we doing?
What are you looking around?
You realize like, oh God, we've all been conned, duped.
Yeah.
We're like, so similarly, Everest is being completely diminished by the fact that it's
like who it's obviously not a big deal anymore.
You know that picture of, uh, of, uh, everyone lining up to hear Hitler and everyone give
him the salute and the one guy kind of with his hands crossed.
It's pretty famous picture.
Like not giving that.
Yeah.
I don't know that.
They know that guy's name and they like, he's like a hero.
He might've just been thinking about something and miss one.
Who knows.
But the picture is, is, is cool.
Just not saluting the house.
Yeah.
In a sea of people doing it.
I wonder if anybody in that line to Everest got that moment that you just got about lying
up, oh, you know what?
Fuck it.
And just turn around.
Not even going to the top.
I'm sure they did.
Close enough.
I'm like, nah.
But the problem is they can't turn around.
Oh, because the line behind them.
Yeah.
There's no room.
Plenty of people were like, you know what, fuck it.
And they turn around and the guy's like, sorry, dude, no room.
You're going up.
And that, and so they're all trapped up in the death zone because of nothing.
They're like literally just, you know, they paid $65,000 for the tour guide or however
much it costs.
P.S. surrounding villages are now getting diseases because it's like literally apparently
mountains of human excrement up there.
It is become a complete junk pile.
So it's like rotting or frozen narcissist corpses, piles of human excrement and garbage
everywhere to the point where the Sherpas have to come up and bring the garbage down.
So it's very similar to when you see the video of the bull and putting the horn through
the Matador's balls and you're like, I'm trying to find a way to feel some compassion.
It just makes me feel happy.
You did all this work.
You fucking asshole.
And now you got, now you died.
Guess what?
If I knew you hurt, but I don't know you so I can laugh.
You could have paid the $65,000 to send kids to college.
You could have paid the $65,000, whatever it was, who knows what it was.
But instead you had an itch, didn't you?
For adventure.
For adventure too.
For adventure too.
Me and Michelle, we were talking about it.
She loves hiking too.
And there's this one hike.
It takes like a few days to get from point A to point B and it was like this real feat
when you got there and now they offer helicopter lifts.
And so it's all these like super good backpackers and just richies.
Yeah.
And you're like, oh.
Yeah.
And you know, I was.
Move on.
Find another place.
Find another fucking place.
In the ever, in the book I was reading and it's in air.
One of the things crack hour, I think it was crack hour.
I don't think he was citing anything or quoting anyone.
I think he said something on the lines of something like the only way I could still
my mind, you know, is by like experiencing the weighty intensity of knowing that every
move you make is a matter of life or death.
And so in that moment, you're in that place, you're brought into the present moment because
if you make one wrong move, you're dead.
It's why Honnold climbs free climbs because he one fuck up.
So you're fully present.
And the only way some people can get to that of tuning everything out.
Yes.
Yeah.
Is by putting themselves in the most insanely deadly predicament.
So that's what the, the, the call is a weirdly the, a desire to escape from your own mind
and to get into a position of full present moment awareness.
That's actually what I like about skiing on a way lower level, but like you can't really
take your mind and look at it.
Not where you're going.
You can stop and look around, but when you're going, it's the terrain keeps coming at you.
So you have to keep your eye on the fucking ground constantly and then who's around you.
Yeah.
And you can stop and think about like, do I pay my taxes yet?
No way.
I gotta hire this person.
It's just that you don't have time for it.
You're annihilated.
Yeah.
You're literally annihilated.
That's like my pants off.
Do you mind?
Not at all.
Thank you.
You know, man, one of the many things I love about you, I like saying this as he's disrobing,
one of the many things I love about you is you've always got a fucking cast on every
time.
What's going on?
Oh, it's an I.E.V.
It feels good to air it out.
I love you so much, man.
So did you.
I was like nine.
Speaking of a cast that I haven't, I haven't not had a problem with me since December.
You anytime.
Remember.
What?
Usually when I see you.
Yeah.
You are in it.
You have a cast.
Almost every time I see you have some kind of cast, I'm like, in general, it's rare to
see you like not cast it.
I think about it.
Sometimes I'm like, man, that, that to me is a sign already is really, truly living
his best life because he is always hurt in the interest of the edge.
Well, what is it?
Skiing accident.
Skiing.
Yeah.
So you get hurt skiing.
Yeah.
The ankle, the broken ankle was like a couple of years ago.
A few years ago.
Skiing.
Jumping.
Yeah.
Um, and then there was the vasectomy, but I don't know if that counts.
It's not really a cast.
Yeah, I was fine.
I was up and out.
Yeah.
You couldn't go to Burning Man.
Couldn't go to Burning Man.
Um, but I wonder how many people can't go to Burning Man because of vasectomies every
year.
Because of oozing dicks.
Oozing balls.
Yeah.
How many?
How many people that go?
Probably like 10.
I bet.
But yeah, I bet they lose probably like over the course of like three Burning Man's like
a million dollars from vasectomy cancellations.
Oh, I guess you don't lose, buddy.
So that thing that you're talking about skiing, that moment of, um, being in the present moment.
Describe it to me.
Well, stuff is described because it's a lack of anything.
You're just looking at the ground.
It's really, I can describe it when you stop, you're winded a little bit.
You stop and you look up like, wow, look at all these mountains and beautiful.
You have to stop.
Yeah.
Otherwise you just can't, you just mines on the fucking task.
Yeah.
Constantly.
It's, it's, I guess it's maybe meditation or something, but it's like, you're just mines
not working except, well, okay, let me really try to describe it.
You're moving, you're seeing the bumps and where the ice is and feeling that you're not
even like mentally going, okay, there's ice here.
Be careful.
It's all just automatic, automatic innate, like it's wrong word, but like, yeah, it just
goes in and computes on its own.
Precise.
Yeah.
And then it's just like, yeah, and your body's reacting to it.
I don't know.
It's just, it's clear.
You're clear.
Yeah.
You're just clear.
Yeah.
And it's one of the best feelings.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You've got your mind completely on that when you're driving.
You know how people say like, I don't even know how I got home.
I don't remember any of that because you're, you're thinking about shit.
Yeah.
And it's, and you don't need to be present when you're driving.
I think you would, but you really don't, which is weird.
Yeah.
That's the weirdest thing when you've been driving for 20 minutes and you're
like, wait, what, who was driving?
Yeah.
Who was just doing that?
You ever read a book and then turn pages, but you're thinking about something else.
And your, your eyes are still, I guess, because you're turning the pages going
at the pace it was in, but nothing's going in to your brain.
Many a drunken night coming home hammered and for some drunk reason being
like, you know what, I'll try to read you.
You're like,
drunk, double, double vision.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just hammered, maybe super stoned.
I've made some value in attempts at reading.
Uh, and you, and you realize like, what, I'm just flipping pages here.
There's nothing happening.
Yeah.
That, that is like, um, it's, I think that feeling you're describing is probably
as close as someone who isn't enlightened can get to understanding what
enlightenment must be that enlightenment or enlightenment, enlightenment.
That's, that's where I'm at enlightenment must be the moment that you permanently
shift into that place and it's not conditional.
It's not like I have to be on Everest or a ski slope.
It's that in literally every single moment, I'm so fully in it instead of
up in my head that I no longer exist, which is a lot of people get really
can be like brand what it's like to be like, everything just is happening,
but you don't have any sort of like attachment to it.
And you're not there.
Yeah.
You're not there.
And anytime, you know, when I've talked to people who've met people who are
apparently awakened, not, that's one of the ways they describe them.
What?
Not there.
They're not there.
There's nothing there.
There's not a person there.
The way we understand people, it's empty space that's mirroring you.
That's just a reflection of you.
It's like, so not there that you're essentially just seeing whoever you are
reflected in the moment of being with that person.
That's weird.
I don't know anybody like that.
What's that?
I don't know anybody like that.
But like super at ease too, because I don't care.
Yeah.
I mean, the closest I've come to it is either like a baby or dying people.
It's like on either side of the continuum, you can run into it a little bit.
Cause a baby, you know, a baby's there.
A baby has a ton of personality.
I actually just got in a funny argument.
My friend, I'm like, my baby is there.
There is an emptiness, but like, you know, you don't have to be there.
Cause they want to believe it.
I just wanted to be scandalous, I think, but like the, the, um, yeah, it's like,
this is the problem of like the mind is people are like tortured by their minds.
I mean, that's a true fact.
Like, yeah, to the, if you are, we'll get over things.
Some people just can't even get over things where it's like, just move.
Like, wow, everyone's going to hate me.
If you see those people where they're like so worried about whatever it's going
to say or do, they just completely like handcuffed to a chair.
They can't move frozen paralyzed and in, in, in, in a, in a kind of like never ending
recursive, fucking infinite thought cyclone, because they haven't even gotten
to the point you have realizing, Oh wait, I'm not my thoughts.
You know, that's not me.
That's just a, that's just, that's like traffic.
That's the sound of traffic or a car wash or crickets or whatever.
That's amazing too.
And then when you see people like that don't care about things you care about,
you're like, how, you look happy enough to care about that thing.
Yeah.
Joe, let's ask me, we did a, the first show, the stand, the new stand is opening
up a comedy club.
Oh, they did it.
It's about to June 14th.
There's a, well, yeah, right now, but I, so we were 16th street, just on
that block next to union square.
So yeah, less foot traffic, but way bigger, two floors.
They're, they're going for it.
Thank God, man.
I heard that it wasn't going to happen.
Yeah.
That's what we all thought after a while.
Oh my God, man.
That's the best news ever, man.
So I said, I want to put on the first show.
I want to be the first comic up.
I want to put on the first show.
Did a storytelling show and I really struggled with the lineup.
And I was like, I really wanted to make it.
Like I had to think about it.
First I got some nos from like big name comics.
So it helped me like say, okay, I'm not going to get that.
Let me just put like, who do I really want on here?
And I realized like, I did it all about the topic was new things because
they're opening up again, you know, spring rebirth, whatever stories about like that.
Yeah.
So I decided I'm going to curate it by saying like what I want to show here is
like, these are all Stan comics, you know, and so if I can get, I don't know, Dave
Chappelle, maybe now's not the time because I'm trying to show on the first show
ever at the stand to honor this place by showing all great Stan comics.
Right.
These are like the regulars to the audience.
I'm like, these are the regulars you're going to get.
Um, if you come back here and you will, these are the kind of people, and
these are the best of, but like, these are all the guys you see here.
Every week.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And, uh, Joe List, who's a little, he's kind of like paralyzed by that, those
thoughts all the time.
And he was like, um, he saw the lineup when I got it.
He was like, only white men, huh?
Are you not worried about that?
And I was like, Oh dude, I, that was the last consideration.
I was trying to make a show that honors all this.
Um, I don't know.
I asked them women, they couldn't do it.
I just not worried about that, man.
I'm worried about putting on a good show.
And he's like, man, so you didn't even care.
And it was like, I really don't, I really don't.
And I put on a great show.
And then later I was like, Oh wait, sounds fucking Cuban.
But also it's like, I'm not thinking about that, man.
And you're stopping yourself from not that he is doing a great show.
Like dad would worry you instead of just moving forward and just putting
something on great, cause you don't care.
It's like, he does.
And it's not, he's not a problem, but like that kind of attitude can hold you back.
Well, I mean, it's not just like that.
It's not just like a political like, uh, or, uh, uh, uh, uh, an attempt
at creating some kind of equanimous comedy show thing.
It's like, you know, outside of the external Joe lists that, that pop up
and like get you to question like, wait a second, am I a fucking piece
of shit, misogynist, fucking racist, which by the way is a really good thing
to ask yourself from time to time, you know what I mean?
Because it's like, uh, which I think is if there is some positive
thing about somebody like questioning your like identity in that way, I think
that I'll let me answer the question.
Well, then you go, no, I asked 10 people and half of them were women,
half of them were men.
And the five who said, yeah, sure, ask yourself.
That's okay to ask.
Go deep.
Yeah.
And then, and then somewhere in there, you'll figure out like, Oh fuck.
Yeah.
I got, I got, I got a little bit of fucking bias here and there.
And then, but at least then when someone comes up to you, it's like, Hey,
what the fuck you can, you can honestly say, Oh yeah.
Here's where I'm fucked up, man.
I'll tell you exactly where the fucking problem is.
Here's where it's, I'm working on it is, but because you've, but if you haven't
done that exploration and you're like, fuck you and someone comes up to you and
says that if you're, if you're someone who wants people to like you, then you
could actually be like, I don't know.
I guess I am fucked up, man.
Yeah.
Or like fine, fine, fine, I'll do it.
Whatever you want.
I'll put whatever product.
Now Joe doesn't care about that stuff.
What he worries about is the reaction.
So he'd be like, Oh, I'd be so worried about the reaction.
If I booked that kind of lineup.
And I just don't care about the way I'm free from it.
So I don't have to worry about free from that shit.
So I'm saying wherever it is, it's nice to be free of it.
When you see people that are free of it of stuff that you care about, because
the stuff that I really care about, I'm like, wow, you just, you just go for it.
Huh.
And like, yeah, I don't even think about that.
You're like, wow, that's a cool place to be in.
It's, well, I mean, this is, so that to me, this is like,
one of the, um, hilarious misconceptions about freedom itself.
It's just like so many people love talking about freedom.
And for a lot of people, freedom means sense gratification.
So like a lot of people are like, I want to be able to eat whatever I want.
Whenever I want to eat it, fuck whoever I want.
Whenever I want to fuck them, go wherever I want.
Whenever I want to go there and say whatever I want, whenever I want to say it.
In other words, it's the idea of freedom is having complete, uh, ability to sort
of like, if you could take it further, it'd be, uh, I want to manifest that thing,
which I desire instantaneously to experience satiation of the desire forever.
Like that's freedom for a lot of people, but which is a form of freedom in the
sense that within that you're kind of like outside the gravitational field that
constrains a lot of people to this city or that city or this job or that job or
whatever. So it's a form of freedom, but there's a deeper kind of freedom,
which is, I think preferable in my old age, which is that
freedom from giving a shit about what happens to be happening at any given
moment. So in other, the, the best way I could put it is like, I'm sitting on an
airplane and if my mind is really bad that day and someone's arm starts brushing
my arm. Yeah. Oh, right. You can really care or you can not care.
Right. And you can, and if you care, you care, there's nothing you can do about it,
but if you don't care, you're not even going to know the arm brush is happening.
It's going to not ripple your pawn, so to speak.
That's freedom. That's true freedom.
Cause if you don't have that, then you start wanting shit.
I wish his arm wasn't touching my arm.
I wish I was in first class. Next time I'm going to fly first class.
I need to make more money so I can fly first class.
What's wrong with me that I can't fly first class?
This is a fucking nightmare. I can't believe this fucking guy.
Does he not feel my arm? I'm in the middle seat, dude.
Come on, give me a little, this, this is the thought.
And so now you're in hell. Yeah, that's hell.
So like, you're worried about that. So I try to explain to Rogan sometimes where
he's like, asked me to splurge in moments in my life, but I'm like, dude,
the things you're asking me to do, I don't, I don't have a desire for like
first class and I'm playing and he goes, oh, you don't,
you don't like it when you get bumped up the first class. I'm like, no,
for sure I do. And when I stay at great hotels with you, I do enjoy that.
I'm like, wow, what a great experience.
But when I'm a little like hinted in with a clean bed,
I'm not thinking like fuck, this isn't good enough. I'm just like, that's fine.
Yeah. You know, and if he gets a little like into it,
it's actually the, the room of a Ritz Carlton. I'm like, whoa, fucking cool.
But you're not missing it because you don't, you're not looking for it. Yeah.
You know, it's when you are like, I can't fucking breathe on this plane.
That's like, yes, now I do want to splurge. Yeah. But I don't know, man. It's like,
you don't care about that. By the way,
I got to say this because he's going to, and now this is what I'm not free of.
I was using Joe this as an example. That guy's got his life together. Yeah,
I know. I think anyone who knows him knows that, right? I don't think it's a,
I mean, maybe, I don't know. You're right to say it though.
Definitely clear his name. He's great.
He's probably saying the right thing of like, he is fucking great. Jesus Christ.
Are you fucking calling out Joe list? It's wonderful.
It's not even new or fucking guy. It was just like, Jesus, sorry.
Why don't you fucking mix it up a little bit? You publicly lambasting poor Joe
list. Just want some fucking a nice mix lineup.
He just wants to eat a nice tomato. Jesus fucking Christ. I'm not farting.
By the way, this guy damn chair, I got to get a new chair.
Yeah, man. That, that fucking like, that's that, um,
concept is really interesting to me because what being free. Well, no,
like these days, because, you know, I don't know, I came from the fucking,
then fucking, I came from the nineties generation exer. You know, we're all like,
we all are pissed off. Like we still have a little bit of like Kurt Cobain
sentiment in us to the point of like, it's embarrassing.
And there's a piece of us that's always contemplating what would be the way if
you really wanted there to be a revolution, if you really want to,
I thought you were going to, I thought you were going to be different with
the way you think I was going suicide. How would you do it?
I thought that's what you said. When you brought Kurt Cobain and I was like,
when he, what would be the way I was like, see, I think about that sometimes.
If I had to, which way, of course you do. You're a comedian who hasn't thought
about it. That's a funny thing. It's like, when you asked me,
what way would you like commit suicide? I'm like, literally, like scanning.
I thought about a lot of stuff. I mean, obviously the rope is a good classic, but
at this point, I don't want to ruin anyone else's day.
So I wouldn't be jumping off a bridge or two. You know, I'd want to keep it like,
well, cause he beats like, also, you know, you, you did do the bridge and then you
smash into the water like concrete, but then I've even liked that even better.
I have the ultimate non-suicide. The reason not to commit suicide. Well,
it doesn't work. Like from mice, you come back. Well, not, not, yeah.
Well, not just that you come back, but you like come back instantaneously.
It's like the thing you're seeking to evade through suicide is yourself,
your identity and the process of killing the body.
The assumption is it also sort of annihilates the self. I don't know, man.
That's a role of the fucking dice there. Yeah. But I mean, like,
what's the difference if like, it's almost like starting your video game over.
It's like, has it glitched? We gotta restart it. Oh, hitting reset. Yeah.
If you believe in reincarnation like that, I think that's what you're saying. Oh,
yeah. So then like, yeah, let me reset it.
Blow it out the cartridge, put it back in.
And maybe now this one doesn't have a glitch in it. Well,
that's a good outcome if it works like a video game.
But if it doesn't, then you just got the same shit. You just got depression again.
No, why? What do you know, worm? What? I have a scary,
scary, like I have two different versions of it.
One of them is antiquated because it's come back as a feminist blogger.
You see, you know about this.
No, what happens is, um, so, so it's basically like the concept is,
it's grounded in momentum. So it's kind of like this.
You're having a bad day. I don't know if you've ever, like times when I've been
like hyper paranoid, uh, because I'm too stoned usually.
And I start like getting, I start thinking like, man,
I don't think that person likes me. And then I'll think about someone else.
But that person doesn't like me. And then someone will like send me an email.
I'm like, it was a weird team. And I'm like, wait a minute.
And I'll summon up anyone in my mind, anyone, just a random person.
And my mind's reaction was like, yeah, watch out for them. I'm like, Oh,
I'm paranoid. Literally anyone I think of every single across the board seems
terrible. Right.
You can be like, Oh, I'm writing off all these thoughts right now. Yeah. Cause
yeah, I'm on drugs. I'm high and I'm clearly projecting my own insecurities
onto like literally any screen I can find. Yeah. So in this way, I know that
like my right now I'm not being very logical. It doesn't really help that
much, but this is, if you can catch yourself in that phenomena, you can save
yourself a lot of embarrassment because you're not going to start acting
around people the way insecure people act, which is they desperately want
affirmation. So an insecure person is a accidental kind of vampire in the sense
that an insecure person needs you to tell them, you're okay. They're trying to
extract from you some sort of like, please, just please for a second, just
say, please say, think of fun. Just tell me you think I'm good. Do you think
I'm all right? But they're not going to say it out front. They're going to try
to lure you into complimenting them or in some way holding them up.
They're not just going to say, give me affirmation. No way. Yeah.
So they're in this crazy relationship with the world, which is like essentially
trying to puppeteer people into saying nice things to them to temporarily
assuage the infinite horror that they're feeling inside of them because
they're imbalanced, right? That's insecurity. It doesn't fucking work.
It's like a terrible situation to be in. So what ends up happening is because
they're acting like that, the world begins to act weird around them because
people don't like the feeling that you want them to say something. So now the
whole world is being weird and they're affirming your insecurity and that makes
you more insecure, which compounds you're the way you're acting.
This is what happens when a new comic shows up and probably every social scene.
So their neediness to get you to like them, especially now that you're an
established comic, is they're pushing so hard and then you end up going like,
I find that disgusting. So you pull away or the bigger, when I was a younger
comic, I must have been on the other end of it. I think everybody's probably
any social scene. So the bigger person, more established person pulls away,
which makes a needy person push harder to try to start conversation or something.
What they should do is like, if you want to be friends with that person,
don't talk to them for about six months, just be around them without trying.
And eventually they'll come back. But it's like, but I want them to talk to me now.
It's like, that kind of attitude is going to push them way further.
So then the established person keeps pulling away.
The needy person keeps getting more and more needy,
which just drives them further away and it's a never ending loop.
That's it. That's it. And so now,
and this is all based on the concept of like the universe as mirror.
So the universe is essentially just a mirror reflecting your projections.
If the thing you're projecting is like insecurity,
you're going to see reasons to be insecure. If you're projecting love,
you're going to see love. If you're projecting fear,
you're going to see reasons to be afraid.
You're dealing with a kind of like, you know,
undulating theater of the million
screens and you can look at anyone and it's just a reflection of you.
So suicide based on this idea is like, if you think
that first of all, if you think that this reality that we're in right now,
isn't dreamy, isn't dream like already,
you probably haven't explored it deeply enough, which is that, like, you know what
I mean? You look around and you're like, this shit's kind of weird, man.
It doesn't seem quite, how would you say, HD, so to speak?
Like there's aspects of it that are odd. You know what I mean?
Like what you're saying, you're driving 30 minutes past and you're like, wait,
where was I just happened? Yeah. I lived, I blinked out of existence.
You go to sleep. You wake up in the morning. Where were you? You were gone.
You're, maybe your body was there,
but certainly your subjective self annihilated when you fell asleep.
You're skiing. You're gone for a second. Right? So there's already a dream like
quality. Then that was my chair.
That wasn't already farting into my mic.
Dude, speaking of dreams,
look at the fucking blurb you can see right there, the lap,
the fucking line straight up and down. Dude, it actually, you pee,
it peaked it. I got to get a compressor.
A far compressor.
And you're looking to us to be a fucking political commentator.
This is the industry you guys are fucking attacking. Get out of here.
Cause we can jump from anything to anything. I don't like,
I would be completely comfortable talking about like,
cause now what I was thinking is just like, whoa,
that'd be pretty cool. I actually have some kind of diaper that like changes your
fart sounds to something pleasant. And then like, is there a
newly hatched chickens? That's the sound that comes out.
Yeah. Well, cause they do have like,
I've heard they have far compressor. I, well,
it's a billion dollar. It's probably not. It's probably like a hundred dollars.
No one wants to wear that. No, you don't want to, like, are you so,
do you have such a fear of like farting publicly that you're going to wear a
fart diaper that changes? Listen, man, just get the patent.
We'll figure out the fucking usability later, but just get the patent.
First of all, it probably costs like a thousand dollars.
The first few people are going to pay a lot for not very much.
It'll come down in price, but it'll take a while.
No dude, you have to make it expensive is what I'm saying.
Like you have to make it five grand so that it's an elite item.
So that when you're around someone,
even though they might be in street clothes or seem kind of normal,
suddenly they fart and it sounds like your farts still sound like farts.
Boozy. Yeah. Yeah. That's how you're like out for a date and your date suddenly,
like from his pants, it sounds like chimes and you're like, Oh my God,
he's got one of those new fart compression.
The things I have a dream speech comes out every time you fart.
The other verse comes out for score and seven.
No, it's just depends on where you're at. You know, that would,
I guess that would be the cool thing is like, if you're at the beach,
it can make you sell us. Could you blend in? If you're in a casino,
just like, just, just slot machine, slot machine sounds.
Let me not know no one noticed. Yeah. But I mean, I don't know. It's like,
that was like the other day I was buying diapers for
my wife because when you have a baby, you got to wear diapers.
Like that's part of the many humiliating things women have to go through.
And I'm like realizing I'm being secret about buying the fucking diapers.
And then I'm thinking like, did someone who wore diapers at
some time in like prehistory to such horrible things that it's still
radiated out through time that people feel like they have to like hide the
fact that they were, well, who cares if you are diapers, you can't hold your
pee in. It's okay. Yeah. I don't know. You can't hold your shit in.
And it's like, but the person I count is going to laugh like, yeah,
probably because they don't have to hold their shit in. If they care at all,
they're going to be like barely noticed. And if they do, they'll be like, yeah,
whatever. Yeah. Like what weird fucking insane hell fun Klaus Klaus do you
live in? Yeah. Why that one though? It's like, I can't hold my pee in.
And it's like, it's like, ha, ha, ha. And it's like, um, my blood doesn't
clot and people like, ooh, that sucks. It's like, why don't,
why don't you get mocked for that?
But dude, outside of like, listen, if like a friend pisses their pants in front
of me like once, I was right in the deep. Yeah. And he knew I had to piss and
like, it was terrible, man. He wouldn't stop. What do you mean? He wanted me to
piss my pants. Yeah, for sure. So like, you know, he gets, he's got this grin
on his face. I don't remember how he stopped, man. I think I was threatening
to jump. Whatever he stops and I'm running to the bathroom. He grabbed
me. You're like, oh, I didn't realize he'd be chasing me.
Just because he wants a story to be pissing my pants.
You're like, get off me.
But so in those moments, okay, whatever. But you know, in general, no one's
like laughing at people who are like, have a health problem in general. Like
if you're, you're around someone who's doing that, you're on an asshole.
That's all. Just don't be around that person. It's like, it's okay. So this
whole thing of like, you know, our fart diaper idea, it's like, why don't we
start a social movement called reclaim our farts, reclaim the farts, make it a
nice thing or who cares thing or just accept it. Yeah, we must. We get
so many farts over the last go. Come on, dude. It's not funny or unfunny. It
just is. It is. We could have fart marches. We could have like flatulence
gatherings. Let's accept it. Let's accept it. And if we find like a little
public speaker, whoever the big, our big like guy in charge, he's talking to
everybody. We have to let them know. And then he feels the fart coming. It's
like the week and everyone just silent. And then one person from the middle
is going, anyway, keep talking. We didn't notice anything. Cause don't
applaud. Right. No, don't applaud. It's not good or bad. Someone knew there
starts clapping and it's like, shut the fuck up. Don't applaud that. It's
nothing. It's neither here nor there. Taking an inward breath after a long
sentence. Did you? Did you applaud the wind? Did you applaud the last time it
rained? Don't applaud my fart. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. What's wrong with you, dude?
Sorry. I told you, man. I told you. I told you what fucking bear is me
for bringing you? What the fuck's wrong with you, dude? Clap in a fart. I thought
you made me look like a real dick today, man. Just fart as you're stressing
this guy down. Still fart. He's like, is that funny? No. Get out of here. Yeah,
man. It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a really like a fucked up thing to find
ourselves getting attached to things like farts, though. I mean, that that this is
the torture of the human mind is like, they're guaranteed our people once a
year at least who probably like in their own lives because they farted at the
wrong time. They remember the day they go home and weep. They can't get it out
of their heads. They can't move on from it. They wake up screaming. It's like,
it's, it's in there. It's in there. The funniest sound in the human body
makes. Yeah. Yeah. Farting has a more consistent laugh level than almost any
comic gets laughs. Like, you know what I mean? Just the world's farts. It's like
farting. Dude, I was, yeah, go ahead. No, please. I was in, in, in, in, uh, East
Timor fucking hiking with some family that took me in and we're fucking went
all the way up, slept in a abandoned hut they knew about. Watch the sunrise.
This, the highest mountain they have and we're walking back down and we're all
sort of have this camaraderie. A couple of them spoke English of the 12 of them,
but one guy who did not, who's the one who found me and like brought me in with
them. He was sitting down. We're taking a five minute break on this hike down and
he farted and, and fell back at the same time. And we've looked at each other
like he didn't understand it, but with, with body language, I'm like, did you
fart knock you back? It was the point. And he was just like laughing. And then we
all just started laughing about the velocity of his fart knocking him over.
And someone who speaks Tatum and some guy who speaks English could come
together and laugh at this bodily function. It's, it's, it's never been
defeated the fart. Well, it's the, it's, it's like the universal leveler.
Right. It's like, this is the beauty of that, of that aspect of like a humanity
is that it's like, I don't, it doesn't matter how sophisticated you think you
are, the credits that you think you have, or whatever the fucking, you know,
whatever the very temporary fleeting aspect of yourself you're using is a
way to elevate yourself above others. The reality of the situation is you've
got to blow duck sounds out of your asshole throughout the day, whether
you like it or not.
What an oversight by God.
It's the reality. And it's like, but we don't talk about it. It's so weird
because like, you know, like take Christianity, they break down so many
aspects of Jesus. They have, you know what I mean? The nails from the
crucifixion hair in certain places, one thing of hair, things like that, but
you never hear about like farts, those aspects, people are embarrassed about
it. Or comes, I tried doing a bit a long time, like six years ago or so about,
I forget it was Michelle Obama or Barack Obama, just how, how awful their
dump smells and crowds would turn on me, not in the way they would if it was
an unfunny bit, but it was almost like a, don't say those things about this
person, like their dump smell. That's a human thing. That's, that's, that's an
equalizer. Like, shut up.
Right. You just feel the crowd like, stop it. We love him or her. I forget
who's ever said it about. It was like, man.
But you know what it's all related to, right? It's all
de-elevating someone because of this fucking embarrassing thing.
No, it's bad parenting.
What?
What happens is you take a shit when you're, you have more neurons in your
head than any other time in your life.
Yeah.
And your parents, one of your parents or your brother, your sister, like, it's
like, Oh my God, you're disgusting.
Yeah.
It burns in.
Forever.
Permanently. And now, so what, what, what, what you're, so this is like Freud's
anal retina thing. Like that's the idea is like what ended up happening was
someone overemphasized your farting.
And then they say the other side of that is like, you know, if a parent is too
permissive, it goes back to like our fart movement. If a parent applauded your
fart, then you risk becoming a shitty artist because you think anything you
make is great. You know what I mean?
So like, it doesn't matter.
You're sitting at a nice table and just farting and keep talking.
I was like, Oh dude, fucking hold that in.
Hold it in.
Yeah. Society has said it's, it's not evil, but don't do it right here.
Yeah. Well, yeah, exactly.
Yeah, yeah, but it is like rooted in like the very beginning phases of your
existence.
This is one of the reasons why I'm like, I told Rogan this and I'll tell you
this too. It's like the, my biggest worry if I ever wanted a kid and raising
them and having to worry about it is those, the amount of neurons that are
firing. And like you said, it's like, you can fuck somebody up so badly for
something inconsequential.
Like my thought was like your daughter is seven reading a tiger beat magazine
with some, you know, Corey that she has a crush on.
Obviously I'm dating myself, but, you know, uh, and then at the same time,
you're watching a football game. You're like, fucking God damn it, motherfucker.
Yelling at the screen while she's looking at Corey Heyman, she's like, well,
I'll never have a normal relationship now.
I'll never let love in because of that. It's like, I'm too much to fuck up.
Well, you, you, the thing is this,
you have to give up the idea that you're not going to fuck up your kids.
That's one of the things like Ramda says that I love is just,
he doesn't like fuck up. But he's like, listen, forget it. Like your idea that
you're going to be like the perfect parent thing or whatever the thing your
idea is, what it does, it produces like a dishonest relationship with a child.
So like you still have to be a parent. In other words, like, you know,
some parents become their kid's friends as their kid for advice.
You know, that kind of thing where you want to equalize the relationship in a
way that just isn't true leader. Yeah. It's a child.
You can't burden it. A baby or a four or five year old job offer.
Should I take? Yeah, I don't know.
The child needs to know that like you're in charge because it's very stressful
for kids that they go otherwise. So there's like some parameters, but you know,
it's like the idea of like suddenly you're going to become, I don't know,
like some kind of like fifties parent or something,
or you're going to like lie to essentially you're going to lie to your child about
who you are. It's like, that's not,
that's going to fuck them up even worse. It's like finding a nice middle line.
I would guess that being said, what the fuck do I know? I've had a,
I've had a problem. Yeah, I'm probably saying, sorry, LDO.
I shouldn't have. That was my mistake. So there's my, my, my cool.
I hadn't slept a lot, but it was wrong for me to do that. So I'm sorry,
but you still can't go to this ball or whatever. Well, it's like, or for me,
it's kind of like, uh, don't hide drug use from them, but it's like you just,
you need to be old enough and you're not old enough.
Obviously your dad does a lot of drugs have not hidden it from you.
Fuck yeah, man. I mean, well, what have you thought? It's way too early.
Have you thought about that talk? What? When your daughter or son, son, son,
sorry. Um, he's like, well, dad, like when they start to know,
they want to do drugs 14, 13, I don't know what it's going to be. Yeah.
Have you thought about what you're going to say to them? What I'm going to say?
Yeah. Well, I mean, I, yeah, I've thought about it. It's like the conversation is
just going to be by, first of all, I've thought about like, well,
I wonder what is going to,
what's going to be like when he's old enough that he wants to do drugs.
And my hope is by that time we're going to see legalized psilocybin,
marijuana will have been legalized so long that it's no longer even considered
like taboo, which is normal. Hopefully psilocybin. Similarly.
If not, it's just like a medicine and maybe even LSD. Who knows.
So my hope is that we enter into like a sensible era where
drugs aren't, um, certain drugs aren't, uh,
biased because of like a, a concerted government.
Okay. So there's no illegal part to it.
So it's like, in other words, like psilocybin, LSD, marijuana are either
considered to be like T recreational or they're considered to be a medicine.
Like, you know, so when you're 14 year old son says, dad,
can I smoke joints or my friends are smoking joints?
Am I allowed to do that?
Yeah. Well,
what we're going to do is we're going to look at the science because by then
they're going to have so much data on the way it affects like a growing brain.
You know, so it's like, so you can be like, let's look it up and you can tell me
for yourself.
Well, yeah, because we'll know the thing is going to be like,
I think my feeling is going to be moral on the lines of like, listen,
this is like either doesn't do anything and which is why,
like, you know, if you're going to do it,
you've got to do it moderately, responsibly. You know what I mean?
Or it's going to be a thing like here, look at this fucking science.
I didn't know this when I was a kid. Here's what that.
And the reason I didn't know it is because the shit was illegal and people
couldn't do the studies.
For the ones I've seen and I know it's early and probably not true is like on
the developing mind, marijuana is pretty bad.
So that's why I would tell them it's like, oh, it'll start your growth kind of
shit. You know, it's like, yeah, it's totally fine.
But at this stage, it's actually going to be more damaging.
I think it's going to be like, here's something you've got to look forward to.
Yeah. And when you're 18, you can go and here's why and I'll smoke with you.
MPS. I know you're going to do it anyway. Yeah. Right.
So it's kind of like, I know you're going to do it anyway. It's in California.
It's legal. So it's like, here's where I and my own life have
like fucked up with marijuana. It can sometimes,
if you're not careful, take the,
you can like start tricking yourself and thinking you're getting high
for a reason that's recreational. When the reality is you're evading
contact with the present moment and you need to be real clear on one or the
other. And so I think there's a lot of like,
Oh, that's such a tough conversation.
And also like you're going to have this figure it out.
You probably have to learn for yourself.
So I'm telling you, like, look out for this.
You know, you could take out what's his name's like, awesome.
Not that it would not for in the UK, the scientist,
you can look at like a scale of harm of drugs and you could show him like,
check it out. Here's the drugs that are really bad for you.
Top of the list, alcohol, heroin, benzodiazepine.
You don't want to do Xanax. And then going all the way to the bottom,
we have psilocybin, marijuana and LSD.
So you could look at that and say, look, from a purely biological perspective,
these substances are going to be less dangerous than booze.
So in other words, if you were a responsible parent,
then you would want your child to take mushrooms rather than
drink because you know what I mean?
The alcohol is physically addictive. It's going to hurt their liver.
It causes completely debilitating behavior changes
that can make them wreck their car.
Yeah. You have to tell your kid like, listen, don't drink, but if you do drink,
you got to call me, I'll come pick you up and you won't be punished for calling me.
Yeah. We don't even know how to have the fucking conversation because we are
both victims of the war on drugs. We grew up with that.
We're like, oh my God, a 14 year old. What, what, what would we even say?
It's like, well, it's science. It's like,
Louis CK's, but it's like, what am I supposed to tell my son when he,
when he hears somebody, I don't know, the trans bathroom kind of thing.
I was like, I don't know about my job to raise your shitty kid. You raise them.
I don't want to tell my son, figure it out. We all figure it out.
Yeah. This is the thing where you hear parents complaining about the fact that
their child stumbled upon some horrifying thing on the phone.
Like remember when that's going to happen when he finds porn on the internet,
I was like, you're going to have to talk to him. Sorry, talk to him.
Tell him not to masturbate in public. What?
Remember when Kim Kardashian tweeted about,
I remember everything about Kim Kardashian who doesn't. Yeah.
Actually she's like doing such good prison reform.
It's, it's one of the things that makes me think this is a dream because one
of the Kardashians is like one of the now has become like a major figure in
prison reform, which is fucking incredible.
But also I think it was one of the Kardashians got caught up in the
urban myth of, I don't know what it was.
Some like Coco or Momo. Remember Momo?
The Momo scare. It came and went, but it was just bullshit. It was a scare,
but basically parents started thinking that there was a Momo that
would show up on YouTube or the Momo challenge and your kid would get into
the Momo challenge and eventually Momo would tell your kid to kill themselves.
Right. Right. There was no fucking Momo.
They're all so worried about it. It was just a, it was like a witch scare.
There was nothing there, right? Yeah.
But you see a lot of these parents and they're like,
my child saw Momo on their phone and became paralyzed with fear for two days
or whatever. And it's like, why are you letting your eight year old have access
to the internet? What are you doing?
What are you crazy? It's like, well, they saw this horrible thing.
It's like, yeah, that's the internet.
Take them off the phone. Why are you not monitoring them?
What the fuck are you doing? It's like, give me a break. Well, it's like, well,
I need a rest. It's like, okay. What was, what were parents doing?
I get it. It's an extension for them of just plopping in front of the TV and
watching like Pokemon, but like it's an, it's an unnatural extension.
It's not just like, well, now they can have it in the palm of their hands and
their iPad. It's like, but they can also access everything.
Not to mention it. You can't just, it fucks their brains up too.
Like kids under the age of like so much. I, my, my nephew just asked me,
he was like, can you get me an iPad or an iPod?
I forget what he wanted. Something like that. And I was like, no.
And he was like, I'll play basketball for it. He is,
12. Yeah. And I was like, okay. He goes, what's, what's the bet?
And he goes, if I win, um, you have to buy me an iPad. And I was like,
what about if I win? It goes, what do you want? I'm like, I fart in your face.
And he was like, no, I'm like, all right, then no bet. He's like, fine. Well,
don't like, listen, but here's the deal. One, I want to fart in your face. And two,
I think it's really unhealthy for you to have access to that stuff.
Your mom lets you on there. I don't think it's the right move. Um,
so I'm going to try my best. He goes, I don't care. Let's do it.
I beat him 21 to four. And then he took his fucking fart in the face.
Like a man. Yeah. And that was like, no, the iPad, but you can't,
and I can, when you get older,
I'll explain to you why I was never going to give it to you because it's,
it's super damaging. So wait, you were going to Welsh on the bed? No, no, no.
I was just never going to not try my, if he won, you would have got it for him,
but he wasn't going to win. I'm six foot three and he's fucking four foot.
Right. It's an insane bet. Yeah. Yeah.
He basically asked you to fart in his face.
He was so confident. Do what he lost to. He was sat there like, like,
he couldn't console him. And he was like, and his father was like,
he just only saw the wind. He didn't see the possibility of a loss. Yeah.
Well, also if you look at,
I just read some article about how like all the Silicon Valley people,
they don't let their kids have phones. Yeah, right. So it's so dead. And my
sisters, they go, well, we got to reach them in an emergency,
which one, you and I both remember,
we both came up for a time at least in North Carolina. That's a fourth grade for
me. You could get lost.
Your parents don't have to have access to you,
but I get why in today's scary times of the news of like molesters and people,
whatever. It's like, I get why you don't think that's,
you need them to have access in an emergency, but why not a flip phone?
Why not just say, here's a flip phone with my parents numbers on there.
Yeah. I can call them if I need anything or load the phone up with like,
like you can load your phone up so that the kids can't like,
you can lock it down so they can only call and shit. Yeah. Do that. I don't,
it's like the studies are in.
I just don't understand why any parent would do it.
I don't understand why they would let their kid have that except for the,
I'll be a nerd if I don't have one. It's like, then be a nerd. Well, dude,
it's not only that, I mean, we're, I'm already doing it.
Like I take pictures of my son. He's the most adorable creature on earth.
I take pictures of him all the time and I'm realizing like, Oh my God.
You're not in the moment. Well, not that I'm not in the moment.
It's like he's going to start associating. Dude, I've seen this.
I know where you're going. I've seen this.
Kids are now doing stuff on purpose because they're like, this is cute.
I can tell already innately that my mom will want to take a picture of this cute
thing. I'm looking Instagrammable right now. Yeah.
And so this is what gets my mom to show me attention equals my mom loves me.
Yeah. If Oh, I got some Oreo on my cheek and like, mommy, look,
and it's like, she's going to take a picture of this. She's going to love me.
That's it. They're thinking in terms of pictures. That's it. Yeah.
Exactly. The phone coming up is a signal of love.
Yeah. Guess what? Studying for math for two hours is not going to get you an
Instagram picture. Right. That's the scary shit. And then, and then what we're,
I think what's going to start happening is people are going to be like,
I guess she doesn't like me. She wasn't really taking pictures of me.
Yeah. Exactly.
Exactly. Dude, real quick. You know,
there's a cure for poison ivy now, right? What? You didn't know it? No.
They sell it at Calamide and no, it's, it's different than that.
It's this expensive shit. It's ridiculously expensive. You can buy it at CVS.
I can't remember what it's called. I've just been doing Calamide.
You'll be so happy. Yeah. You put it on and it immediately.
Not a hundred quarters on. No, it's this weird shit. I'll look it up on the
internet. It sucks. The, it's, you can either. That's what Calamide does.
It strives it out. So it like pulls it out, but it's the shit at CVS.
I think it's like a hundred dollars at CVS. One time. Yeah.
I'm spending more than that on Calamide. It's supposed to go away one to,
one to three weeks. But there's other alternatives. Suicide. Again,
always back to suicide. Human cum. Oh really?
Where can I get something? It can't be your own cum though.
It's one of the weird things. No, I figured that out already.
Let me come on your legs. Absolutely. Would you, what?
If you thought it would like cure your, I would. You're that, you're that,
like, no, I'm not that not homophobic. You would just, no, not homophobic.
In the moment though, I might, as you're like, I'm about to come back. Oh,
I can't, I can't. I'm pulling away. I might renege and pull away at the last
second because I, my homophobia might overcome it. Why are you homophobic?
It's like you said we're raised with. You're just afraid of semen. Yeah,
exactly. Landing on you. Seamen killed my father.
Let me ask you a question. Sure. What do you, what, if you,
what are you trying to do now? Artistically?
I can't talk about it.
Next project. Oh. Like, what do you want to accomplish?
You mean like ambiguously or like, not like, I'm trying to write a joke
about this, but like, so like my idea is I talk about this isn't it,
but like they talk about like, uh, some bit being brave cause you came out of
the closet or whatever. I'm like, eh, today's day and it's just not brave.
I'm like, if you really want to be brave, you do a 10 minute pro slavery joke.
That's like going to get you a, that's brave. That's like,
you're entering into a gauntlet. Funny pro. Like, absolutely funny.
So my, my back thought was like, and I don't care about politics enough is to
write up a pro Trump joke that works,
that I could take around Manhattan and LA.
So like you're, you're, well, like, so you're saying like your goal is to like,
to like, that would be a goal of like, I want to, I want to show how
another side could be funny. Okay. So it's like, okay. It's kind of like, uh,
I know, I think I know what you're getting at here. It's like,
you go and look at the early comics who are speaking their truth,
like Bill Hicks or Carl and Pryor.
And at the time you could get arrested for, so, so there was like,
they had this like sort of
clear ridiculous boundary to push against that
people would watch. And if they pushed against it in the right way,
it was hilarious and crazy. And like, Oh my God,
there's something heroic about it. Whereas now there are these boundaries to
push against. In other words, like, if you want to,
you could try to write a joke about something that is obviously fucked up
slavery. Yeah. Nothing's good about it. Versus like Bill Hicks,
who's like telling jokes about how mushrooms.
Yeah. The problem with Bill Hicks is he believes in that.
I would not be believing in this.
Well, no, the idea is Bill Hicks is like exposing aspects of like,
I don't know, are Carl and talking about like,
they're going to come for your social security.
They're going to come for you or talking about like, um,
the words you can't say or talking about whatever it's like,
these things he's talking about, it's like,
there's almost this kind of like work to be done there. Right.
Whereas now basically what you can push against is you can go push against like
a massive group of right-wing conservatives and say political things that
will offend them,
or you can manifest a shit ton of right-wing conservative things that are
going to offend people on the left. Right?
Both of these, if you ask me, a reactionary. Yeah, the reaction.
That was, that wasn't the best example to use. Here's a better example.
I saw this visual artist, he's a video artist,
Ragnar Charlson or whatever,
and he's really into repetition. He talks about how like,
you say something three times, it's a little annoying.
You say something 40 times,
it lulls you into a sort of different place. Wow. Cool. Um, yeah.
And he showed his latest thing was just like set up in this Icelandic countryside,
like 10 screens, 10 cameras and, and, uh, audio things around.
And these two sets of twins male,
two males that are identical to women that are identical. Um,
they split up the two,
the man or the woman on one side, uh, man or the woman on the other side,
sing the same song over and over and over again, the same,
the same, I had it in my head for a little while and they just walk around these
cameras and you're in the middle watching them walk around you,
sing as they get closer, it gets a little louder.
And what I mean is what he's doing is I want to experiment with repetition and
how that sounds on people and what kind of place it puts them in. Yeah.
So that's what he's trying to do artistically and he's doing it. Yeah.
You know, I don't care about expressing repetition. Yeah.
What are you trying to do? Okay. Yeah. It's a great question. So it's like the,
the, um, for me, like the beauty of,
of what he's doing and what any like artists that I like is doing is they've
like excavated some,
something within them, something within society that was kind of closed off and
they've managed to like bring that into the physical
world. Like it's an object, which is like, uh, um,
McKenna, you know, crazy Terrence McKenna, you know, in Dennis McKenna,
they were like, I had this idea that maybe you can pull in an object out of the
DMT realm. Right. Like they didn't pull a physical object out,
but Terrence McKenna has this incredible body of work that if you read it,
some of his stuff will make you feel like you're tripping.
So he linguistically managed to pull that guy who makes a psychedelic art.
What's his name? Alex Gray. Alex Gray. Yeah. Where it's like,
he's trying to do that same sort of thing. Yeah. Visionary art. Right.
And that's a one version of it, but also like a great comic. Similarly.
It's not just like they're saying funny shit. Usually like when I've noticed
like, um,
comics that I really admire, you included, when you're up there,
it's like they're fully actualizing themselves. There's like, uh,
something more going down there than just, um, well-crafted jokes.
That's just a piece of it. The joke crafting was part of it, but then there's
the tools. That's our, that's our instruments or whatever.
There's a lightning rod quality where it's like, whoa, they're like some kind of
like, there's an energy coming, coursing through them.
That's like lighting the audience up and creating this beautiful temporary
feedback loop, which is making things progressively funnier and somewhere in
there that like comedians identity almost falls away and they become like an
archetype.
They become a representation of like these like fundamental aspects of human
experience warped in the comedian sort of fun house mirror.
And it's beautiful cause it's like they've gone out of themselves and become
something bigger. And that's a transcendent moment for the audience,
which is why people leave a comedy show and they're like, whoa,
I feel better from laughing. And it's like, well,
the laughter was a byproduct of a deeper thing that was happening.
Yeah. Like Hitchcock's, um, tension, but he's like,
I'm trying to say a bunch of stuff about male-famous relationships and I'll use
not tension. What's the word? Um, his type of movies, uh, not horror,
but like suspense.
The suspense is just to get you to listen to what I have to say about like
slavery or male-famous relationships or whatever. Yeah. But he's like, oh,
it'll be suspense, but don't worry. But like I'm saying shit while I do that.
That's right. Yeah. And, and he, and, and Hitchcock and any really great artist
kind of becomes an outflow ducked to almost a parallel dimension where
this thing coming out of them is like, whoa, that's so beautiful.
That's something I haven't seen before. It's inspirational.
It's like, makes me excited. So like from to answer your question with way too
much buildup, you know, I've in my own way, uh,
through, you know, my experience with people who are
really into meditating and people who are, um,
connected to Buddhism especially and, but not just Buddhism,
like some forms of bhakti yoga. Um,
if like I've been lucky enough to be around them and,
and not just be around them,
but slightly absorb a little bit of it so that like, um,
now I get to experience from time to time,
a world that is
way more peaceful personally for me than anything I've ever,
I ever thought I could experience. Like, you know,
like moments of like what I would consider to be real bliss,
like real joy. And by that, I don't mean like, Oh, I have this or that.
It's just like, Holy fucking shit. I'm not,
my mind isn't getting caught in the way it used to get caught.
And that is for me, just a little bit of that is so
wonderful for me personally. And so
though there's like some real, like, and I do it on this podcast,
though there's some like real basic tenants and things you can say
regarding like, well, here's how you might meditate or here's all this,
these precepts or here's the noble truths of Buddhism or all this shit.
I don't want to do it like that. Yeah. Yeah.
I want to figure out a way to take that space and put it inside a sort of
comedic absurdist vehicle so it can,
you can shove it into their minds. Yes. Yeah. Through your art form.
So that's what you're trying to do. Get that bliss kind of thing out.
Always. And, and, and well, not always, but in the old days,
it was more about like, boy, if I could like, I want to say something shocking,
I want to be shocking. Right. But now it's more along the lines of like,
it doesn't be the only thing you want to do,
but that's one of the things you want to do.
Well, that's always going to inform anything I do from now on.
And it's just like my problem is it's like,
because it's such a really trippy cool thing to start like
getting like, you know, getting a little bit of like, uh,
a download from it that you want to say like, Oh my fucking God,
every single thing that I've been used to be looking for in psychedelics
is instantly accessible
through no consumption of anything. Uh,
but a million times more intense than that,
but a million times more manageable.
And you got to say that not by saying those words. You got to say it by just
getting it in there with, without saying it outright, like,
let me stop what I'm doing right now and tell you guys,
all the psychedelics I've done, I can get a better place.
You can't do it that way.
No one wants to hear that shit, man.
I dated a girl, Ashley snow made Comber and an artist.
She got me thinking artistically for the first time. Um,
and she was doing a project then or like a group group pieces,
like all a bunch of stuff together. And it was all about the masks we wear,
like how we all wear different masks. Yeah. Um,
we all try to be this one thing when we're actually,
that's not who we are really, but this is what we show to people. Yeah.
She did it through a series of paintings. Um, yeah.
Now if I wanted to say the same thing to everybody,
we'd have to be through probably jokes or making a show about it or,
but yeah. So it's like, that's interesting that the, the,
the sense of peace you're trying to be like,
you can get there through meditation without, without saying it outright.
Absolutely. Well, because the thing about it is, is it's like, you know,
for me it's, it's more along the lines of like,
I'm still such a neophyte when it comes to that shit anyway,
that it's like a lot of what I might say about it now is might not be what
I think about it later. True. You know, but, but also the other thing is,
it's like for me there's so in the same way, like with politics,
there's so many people out there who are so articulate when they're talking about
politics. Like I think I could sit down if I wanted to,
and I think I could write a book about Eastern traditions or some shit like
that. And here's what meditation is. And here's the various forms of Buddhism.
And here's some shit about magic, but who like,
there's so many better books out there about that anyway,
by people who are like way more precise,
like Ramdas or Chogyamitravar Rinpoche.
Yeah. So what are you going to do? Put out a worse version of that? Yeah.
You know, what am I going to spit out some shit that like,
we're going to have some unique hipstery take on it or some shit. You know,
it's like to me though,
there's a joy in like one-on-one when you're with someone who like expresses,
oh shit, I want to like hear about this. It's being like, oh, well,
here's what I found out. And not only that, it worked.
Like I, you know, it's worked. Uh, that's cool.
I saw an adventure time, uh, on acid.
And it was so clear to me,
the message of that show at that, in that moment of like
these sugar corporations, Coca-Cola, whatever,
are, are, are addicting you at the earliest stages of your life at your
childhood. The way they showed it was
the evil Coca-Cola man stole your kid and he's having him hostage somewhere.
You know, and it was like, Oh yeah, I get it.
And you just made it as a kid show.
A million times more effective. Yeah. Yeah.
A million times more effective and, and, and a million times more artful.
And a million times more sophisticated and a million times more interested in
disseminating that idea in a way that like gets past, you know,
like ayahuasca is a two drugs.
And it's two, it's many drugs actually,
but we need an MAO inhibitor to get DMT to pass the blood brain barrier to
prolong the amount of time DMT stays in your body because you've eaten it
instead of smoking it. Right.
So I've got to get away to tell your body to let DMT
through the boundary between your brain and like the shit that it
lets in. And if I could do that,
I can make you go into the DMT realm, not for eight minutes,
but for hours at a time. And so this is ayahuasca. Right.
But to do that, I need an MAO inhibitor. Similarly,
it's like some ideas are meant to
be puzzles. They're not meant to be set out. Like,
cause I could say, I could say to you, Ari,
here's the real truth and it is life is suffering.
The cause of suffering is attachment.
If you don't want to suffer anymore, get rid of attachment and the way to get
rid of attachment is to follow the eight full path of Buddhism. Right.
If you had a short story about a guy who gets it through that, you're like, Oh,
I can see that character or he fucked up by not doing that.
And this is the results of what happened to him.
A short story would be the art form of getting that word out, you know?
But I, I, and Rance talks about in the fountain head,
talks about like what you got to do to be an artist.
She doesn't just say it outright like that. She lets the characters live it.
And then you're like, you just get it.
Well, yeah. Cause, and that's the gift that you give people cause it's like the
idea is it's like, here's a puzzle, have fun with it in the process of like
playing with a puzzle.
Maybe you'll come to your own conclusions and share those with me. You know,
and, and that, that, that's the idea. I mean, Crowley talks about this. It's like,
if you want to fucking hit it on the nose, go ahead.
But everyone already said that and everyone already heard it.
Love your neighbor as yourself. For example, everyone's fucking heard that,
right? That, that, that means become a mirror.
Your neighbor is your mirror. We're all reflecting each other.
And then you could take that and, and, and, and really explore this concept of
reflectivity and you could create a virtual reality experience where you
begin to see your own like fears projected onto other people.
Wouldn't that be cool? Wouldn't that be a cool art project?
I don't have to know at all to do that,
but like be able to make something where you can see through their eyes, you.
Well, you know, it will be what you could make, for example,
is like a neural interface that scans brain energy and based on the type of
output your brain is producing warps reality around you to fit into
whatever state of consciousness you're in.
So you begin to see instead of just like your own fucking projections,
which are like, Oh, you run into a guy who looks like the guy who your girlfriend
cheated on you with and you fucking hate that guy for no reason,
except that he reminds you of poison in your own mind. Right? Well, that,
that's like interesting, but fuck what if with augmented reality,
we could actually see our projections manifested in digital space on top of
the people that we're projecting onto. Yeah. Based on our neural output.
Now you can really see the impact of your projections. Oh shit.
I'm projecting on people. I shouldn't be doing. Yeah.
Then you can, then you can really witness it, but just saying, Hey man,
most of the shit you're afraid of it's coming from inside. Yeah.
It's like, I don't know. All right. You say that, but yeah, exactly.
What's yours? What's your, what are you trying to do artistically? Um,
right now currently I'm trying to,
so I'm really locked in with standup, you know,
feeling better about it all the time. Like, yeah.
Um, yeah, I just never kind of fell out of love with it. So it's like,
I'm way into it. So right now I'm trying,
I'm trying to throw a gauntlet down to, um,
the UK festival comedians who have this idea that, um,
so it's multiple things,
but they had this idea that thematic comedy is,
is the best style of comedy this festival hour. You'll see the net was kind of a
version of that. I already saw that. Um,
and my feeling is as a standup, it's like, sure, that's fine,
but why are you not funny during large chunks of this?
Oh, wait, you're talking about this like new hybrid one person show,
standup comedy thing. That's called thematic comedy. It's a theme. It's a theme
hour. Okay. Okay. Got you.
So currently I'm trying to show them that here's what your theme
hours should be. Here's funny all the way through. So I'm working an hour
completely about Judaism. And then at the same time,
I'm trying to make Judaism and an Orthodox Judaism accessible to an
audience. The way I'm showing them is by killing at it.
So how I'm going to kill at it is by showing an audience that doesn't know
anything about it in Perth, Australia,
where there's no Jews in fucking New York,
where there's tons of Jews anywhere,
make it successful so that you can all get it and laugh at it.
The fucking Orthodox Jews get it. And the fucking people who've never heard of
Jews get it. You're raising the bar. Yeah. I'm trying to raise the bar.
So the idea is like, look,
you can do a theme show and be funny all the way through,
which will be destructive to a model that could potentially be
destructive to a model that is a lap, maybe, maybe, I don't know,
allowing itself the false comfort of thinking that we don't have to be
funny all the way through a comedy show. Yeah. I don't care for that.
Right. I think I'm missing the, uh, the, uh,
the fucking goal of the whole, the whole idea of stand up.
Yeah. But because you're, you're a store comic. Yeah.
We are like, I'm showing my world of it's like, well, whatever it is,
it needs to be. Yeah. So I'm not even like, a lot of people are like, why is it?
Just do different bits. I'm like, no, no, I get the joy of doing a theme.
I get, I like it as an audience member watching those shows.
I've been to Edinburgh a few times now and I, I,
I'll compare it to like Beatles going to India where I'm like, Oh,
I've been exposed to a different style,
but I can see the flaws in what they're doing. And I just want to,
I'm a troll and I want to fucking throw in the gauntlet down to them.
Well, I mean, the, it's a beautiful without saying it outright like that.
You just did. Yeah. But I mean, like, not on stage, I would, I would never say,
it's just like here it is in for what you want.
But I mean, is it the argument for, I mean,
I didn't realize that like what Nannette represented was an entire, like,
yeah, that's not a new style. It's, it's been there at Edinburgh.
It's one of the first ones that had been exposed to an American audience.
And it was emotionally, you know, hit massive moments.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
But isn't that the like those, those like huge moments of like the,
it's like instead of the classic punchline left hook,
it's like now what's happening is you're making people laugh.
And then you drive your car off the cliff
into a horror show of emotional, like whatever it happens to be
to the point where the audience that was just riveted with laughter is now
shamed, shamed of themselves for laughing or like exploring their own identity.
And then in that.
So she did that pretty well. Yeah.
Where she told these jokes and said, I can't, she can't do the jokes because
here's the real ending and I can't make that funny as I got beat the shippity out
of me for being a fucking gay wad. Yeah. Not her words.
She doesn't say gay.
No, no one says gay wad anymore in Lesbo.
But, um, and so then it's like, oh, you've used this humor to attack itself,
which I like, you know, attack the audience. Yeah.
Sometimes they're just one of the, all those hours get serious.
They even make jokes about it now with some, like some of them go like,
there's a stool up here so I can talk about my dead dad about 42 minutes in,
you know, and then they'll suddenly go over there, some musical play,
and it'll be a tongue in cheek. Like I'm laughing about this,
but it only works because everyone there knows that this is such a trope now
at this point. Right. It's become hacky. Yeah. Is it? I guess, I'm assuming.
Yeah. I wonder some of them too. It's like, okay, I get the big serious.
I've seen Diaz do it really well. I saw Pete Johansson do it really well once.
It's incredible when it works. It's incredible. And it,
and it comes to me from a place of there's no choice here,
but to be serious. Yeah. It's the inevitable end of this.
And you don't see it coming, but then you do when Diaz talks about this lady,
took care of him after his mom died, Zorida. And then, um,
and then, uh, the way he kind of abandoned her when he got heavy into drugs,
but he, I mean,
he starts off with so much humor about a Cuban funeral and how crazy she was.
It fucking, she would always deal drugs with a cat by her side and counting money.
And she gave him a hundred dollars. Like I told my mom, it's your mom,
I take care of you. It was great.
And then abandoning her and then her needing him.
And then he just like, wasn't there for, and you're like, fuck,
but it was like a tiny moment.
I wonder how many of those people think should I have 22 minutes of serious
here or two minutes of serious?
Well, it's just like fucking, this is the thing, man.
I hope I'm not keeping you too long. So it's like, take the walking dead,
right? It's cheaper to film in the kitchen than to film zombies.
Period. Right. So if I, like 10 minutes of zombie action,
that's going to cost exponentially more than six hours of people in the kitchen
talking about like zombie drama, right?
I hate all those seasons.
So similarly with stand up, if you want to like construct
an hour of great jokes, that's going to take you a certain amount of time.
If you want to construct 30 minutes of great jokes and 30 minutes of sanctimony.
It's got to take a lot less time.
So it's kind of like from just from a purely like evolutionary perspective,
the idea being I want to exert as few calories as I can.
Then you could see how a form would evolve that like,
that it managed to like lower the amount of time you have to spend developing
jokes because it sucks. It takes a long time.
I also see an unnecessary like resting in these serious moments.
And I look at Ms. Pat,
who's like a real inspiration to me because she takes horrible things that have
happened to her and never presents it as a woe as me.
So she skates over her uncle that fucked her when she was 13.
She has just a joke and then moves on. And it's like, no,
you're not going to make me be this fucking victim. She's not saying that,
but that's what I'm kidding from her. And so you're laughing.
And then when you think about later, it's like, wait,
did she talk about being raped at 13? Yeah. I didn't even notice too.
He does things like that too, where you, when you look back at it, you're like,
dear God. Yeah, exactly.
He saw you not getting the skin like scraped off of him from catching himself
on fire from some kind of drug accident. Yeah. Burning up. Yeah. Yeah.
And it's like really funny.
But he's just making it funny the whole time. He's not stopping.
And I'm like, I like that. I personally, I like that way of delivery.
I saw a comic there talking about his wife's miscarriage. And he was like, guys,
guys, I'm sorry, sorry. I don't want to sit in this. I'll move on in a second.
I just had to mention this point because it was part of the plot. Yeah.
I'm going back to jokes in a second. And I like that where he's like, no, no,
we're not, I'm not milking this. And that's the style I like anyway.
Well, I mean, to me, it's like, I guess you could think of it in terms of like a
palette. And what's cool about these thematic shows you're talking about is
that it's like potentially the form is evolving to like figure out, wait,
how is there a way to use these other like forms in the palette that were
inaccessible? If you want to go by like 80s comedy.
Yeah. Inaccessible. And now they are accessible and because it's so like,
oh wait, we can use these paints. So now people are like, you know,
like the net are like successfully using them in the sense that like, holy
fucking shit, man. That show, no matter what you think about it comedically or
what you think about it, that was a groundbreaking powerful show show fucked
with a lot of made a lot of us think about ourselves like fucking crazy.
That was crazy what she did. But that's an in that that's Gatsby.
Now, what is obviously going to happen?
It'll evolve from there. Well, hopefully it will evolve, but also it's going to
spawn in the same way like Bill Hicks.
And then part of me thinks too is like, well, why does it have to be?
I think labels are really bad. I'm looking about labels lately.
And I'm like Democrat, Republican, athletic, not whatever.
It's like these labels stick you to what to have to abide by that.
So even like stand up comedian, it's like, well, you're just on stage.
Can't you do whatever the fuck you want? Can't you just like,
we're all going to do jumping jacks now. And suddenly you're like a fitness guy.
And like your show is whatever. Like if you go to Vegas ideas of shows,
they're just like these big shows, they have background dancers.
And it's like, I don't know, call it whatever the fuck you want.
Like when Reggie Watts was in comedy clubs still, yeah,
and comedians were kind of mad, like that's not stand up. Yeah.
And it's almost like that Bo Burnham was the same way.
They're like, that's not stand up. And you're like, looking back,
you almost want to tell all those people, myself included, like, guys,
guys, they're stopping here for a minute. They're not staying in comedy clubs.
These guys are way bigger than that. Yeah. And because of the label,
like stand up comedian in a stand up comedy club,
this guy's not doing exactly right.
You miss the joy of fucking a great Bo Burnham song or
a great Reggie Watts thing. We're like, I don't know what you'd call it.
Who gives a shit? Just enjoy this. That's right. You know,
a fucking street juggler sometimes in Santa Monica. You're like, what the fuck?
He just kicked a plate onto his head. I think that, and also, man,
I think that that whole thing, anytime anyone,
me included, me especially, whenever I've found myself being like,
that's not what it is.
I remember when I first started at the comedy store and the older comics
going, that's not what it is. And you realize like, oh,
this is just almost like the life cycle of comedy is that every new phase of
comedy is met by the resistance of some old antiquated stodgy group of fucks
who are like, that's not it.
And then it evolves and becomes something else.
Because if you look at Catskills comedy,
yeah, when David Cross put on a T-shirt and jeans, people like,
that's not stand up. Yeah. So the part, part of the job,
and I think your instincts are truly that of a stand up comic,
which is that you're trying to find like, all right, where is,
yeah, you're not wrong. These things you guys are doing there is not wrong.
Yeah. I like it actually, the idea,
but I don't think you're necessarily pulling it off, right?
And so this year, this year, I mean, this hour,
I took three times longer than I have in the past to get it down,
right? It's hard. It's difficult to like, do everything on, on themes.
So if I see some homeless guy taking a dump on, on, on big J stoop,
normally I'd be like, let me write a bit about that.
But now it's like, oh, this doesn't go in. I can't go part of the thing.
So I have to fucking shove it to the side. Yeah. It's really fun.
And then it's just really fun dealing with Judaism and having to be like,
I'm exercising this completely. And then I'm done with it.
And then I don't have to fucking deal with that shit anymore.
That's badass, man. Yeah, I'm really excited. I mean, to me, the,
the idea is something like with me,
I can't talk about it, but like sometimes something like kind of like
happens and wells up inside of you. And, and, and you, it's almost,
you're like, I don't even know.
It's almost like this,
how much of this is even fucking me and how much is this thing? And like,
you know, it's some weird condensation that's like coming out of me for a second
and do I have the courage to like dive into it, to dive into it and bring it
into the world. And then after that,
it's your job to like refine it, make it as good as you can use your
technique, use your technique and your, and your instincts and your,
experience within the parameters of the thing. But it's like that the idea is
like it, trust the,
the trust that you caught a fish,
become a good enough fisherman that you catch a fish.
And then if you catch the fish, cook it, you know,
like learn how to cook the fish and to serve the fish in a way that suits your,
that part of you that's like, this is what I want to make.
I want to do this right now and then do that. And then, you know,
after the, after that, if people are like, you motherfucker,
that's not comedy. You're not fucking funny. If you know that
you thought it was funny, or if you didn't think it was funny,
you know that you wanted to sing that song and you sang it because you wanted
to, and that's your job as an artist. But the thing to me,
it's like what I,
even today, I was, as I was like sitting like,
I was embarrassed with myself because I wanted to write something.
And then I caught myself thinking like, man,
that doesn't fit into like this thing you're wanting to make.
That's not, and then I was like, Oh, really Duncan? So like the only shit that
you're going to write is monetizable. Like you're only going to, like,
that's disgusting. Shame on you. Like,
if you become that much of a fuckup that like you're not going to like express
something that has no purpose other than it satisfies you.
Yeah, that's crazy. But look, look, you caught yourself. I caught myself.
That's a swirl down. That's a bad lead.
Just start writing Geico commercials or some shit, right? But, but like the,
the, this, that part of the mind, which asks,
what will I attain from this in a monetize, you know,
in a, in that way, that, that part of yourself, or you look at,
you look at what you want to make and you look at the market, your brain's like,
that kind of shit. That's not art. That's real estate.
I don't mind once you've made it to be like, Oh,
let me see what I can get from this. Sure. You know,
but to think about it is so damaging. I was,
when's this going to come out? You think this week? Okay. I can't say this then,
but I've been really thinking hard about this revenge.
I'm going to kick on Lewis Gomez and like, and like, I'm putting people are
thinking that at any given moment. I love you, Lewis.
I'm putting in as much thought and effort in this as I am on lots of other stuff.
And I'm like, I want this to be right. You know,
dude, there's people right now probably in prison.
Sharpening a shank.
Yeah. You got to enjoy the things that aren't, whatever. I followed up.
I went to watch an SNL. Jay, let me come. Yeah. And, uh,
fell in love with live performance again and how important it was.
It's like, and I'm not an SNL fan. I think it's for, for teenagers.
I think it's always supposed to be. Yeah.
But seeing them like move the sets in and stuff. And do you remember what it's like
to do a sketch show at the store?
Fucking crazy.
It's six months of preparation for an hour long show with no set design.
What a chair. Like that was the set design. Bring up a chair for this.
I'll be driving. Uh, and to see all that happened for 90 minutes and then realize
it's every week. It's, it's, it's set design. It's fucking makeup people.
And it's just like, go, go, move, move, move. Yeah. And you're like,
you're actually laughing when you're there. It's a,
the live experience is great. And now it's like,
that's when I got that thing with that stand show. I'm like,
I want this to be a fucking great show. It won't go on anywhere else.
But yeah, you put on great things. It shouldn't. And if it does,
if like we want to film this and put on HBO and give you a million dollars,
like, okay, but sure, but let me do the show I want to do.
But that's where the other stuff is like, it should be a side effect. Like,
the, the, the, hopefully your success is a side effect
of your being in love with your art. And like the, the, um,
do you know about the dog treats and the Frisbee? No.
So they, they teach a dog to fetch a Frisbee at like,
this is what I talked to somebody after a, uh,
it's one of those state fairs when they do all the crazy dog tricks and they're
like, first we teach them, if you catch a Frisbee, you get a treat.
And then you slowly move the treat to becoming the Frisbee itself.
So the treat is catching the Frisbee and you're like, throw it so I can catch it
again. That's it. And then the task is the reward. Yeah.
Doesn't matter where it goes. There you go.
You can be an open miker or you can be Madison Square Garden. Yeah.
You're both doing, and that's actually what I love about Edinburgh.
You have massive big names playing for just cedars every night.
You have a guy playing a 30 cedar and you both come to the bar like,
how was your show tonight? But pretty good. I had one heck of, how about yours?
Yeah, pretty good. I've had better.
And you both commiserate on the same level of trying to put on a great show.
Yeah, man. That's the thing is like, you know, we just went to see Les Miserables
The Pantages, which is just, you know, it's definitely not comedy, but it's like,
I mean, it's kind of comedic in the sense that it's, the plot is ridiculous,
but it's beautiful. Yeah. And, but you realize this is a traveling
troupe of actors and they're probably not much different.
The traveling troops of actors in the 1800s, the 1500s, the 12, you know what I
mean, which has always been these like roving groups of people putting on crazy
shows and then vanishing in, in like always on the move. And so when you're
there, you suddenly get that feeling you're talking about with SNL or you
realize like these people are deep outsiders.
Like I'm looking at hyper-talented outsiders in the sense that they are so
experiencing a different life. And like I'm watching this like, dude,
with the greatest voice you've ever heard. Yeah. An actor who I mean,
an unknown to me, you know, who is so talented killing it killing it.
And it's clearly made the decision to be here because he could be anywhere he
wanted because he's so fucking talented. Right. Yeah.
And then you're looking at him like this is like some kind of art saint because
he's like not using his talents for, for like, you know,
rock star or something, whatever he just, this is where he's at. And it's Tuesday
night. And the guy's weeping on stage and he's going to, and it's real.
Like the guy's dream, the impulse. Is that that? No, it's like, no, no, no.
It's like the famous love.
The blood of angry man. And like, you got to chant.
You have to channel every night, the revolutionary spirit every night. Yeah.
And that, and to me, it's like, you see a thing like that and it inspires you.
Like I left there so happy about existence itself and life inspired
thinking like, Oh my God, that's in the world.
Like that level of talent is everywhere, floating around.
And not all of it is like, uh, like easily accessible.
It's hidden in like little corners and nooks and crannies and you've got to go
find it. You have to look for it. Cause these people, like one of them,
I tried to find their Twitter because I literally wanted to say that was fucking
insane. No Twitter.
Really? No access. Just an outsider floating through the world, you know,
doing art for that. That to me, I'm not there, man. You know, I would talk to
Chuck Palanik about, about these raves.
This guy used to put on all the time. And he said, uh, yes, this guy,
why did it? Why put on these amazing raves that everyone would go to.
And he said the nod. He goes, there's a point in the night where one guy like
looks at him, I know, like Duncan, you put on this great rave, we're all party.
And I just like put my beard on and look over at you. And I just like,
just a nod, like good job. Good party. Yeah. Yeah. And you're like, yep,
that's it. That's my applause. That's the Frisbee. Yeah. That's the Frisbee.
It's like, I want that, I want that once in a while.
I want everyone to know they had a good time or whatever. Yeah. Yeah.
That's it, man. And, and, and, and that to me, like whether it's a rave,
it's a great, whatever, whatever it is, whatever,
if you are making really good art, it is innately revolutionary in the
sense that it defies everything. It shouldn't exist.
How did you even get that good to make it? Who the fuck are you and why did it
happen and where, where did the idea come from and how did you get so lucky to
refine it and all that stuff? To me, it's like, not to sound like a complete
sanctimonious fucking sappy piece of shit. I am sappy and sanctimonious though.
To me, it's a miracle. Yeah. You're seeing a fucking miracle to connect with
people that hard. Did I went to the governor's ball on Saturday, uh,
Manhattan festival, comedy music festival. Okay. And, um,
we got there and this is woman, Casey Musgraves, singer,
some like countryish singer that my girlfriend, they were like,
people said I should listen to her and dude, she killed so hard and I don't
know this lady is zero. Yeah. But the way she got it, I was just like,
I couldn't stop crying. It was just like balling. And then my, my girl was like,
what do you want to wrap up the thing? She's like, are you crying?
And I'm like, she's fucking killing it. I'm doing it now to hear what I'm thinking
about it, but she's killing it. It's like, this is perfect. It's perfect. Yeah.
Oh, that's it. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. And they, there's like a, and layman's a
rock boy. I guess we're just like turning into like old freaking like softies,
but I'm going to quote, you're crying and I'm about to quote layman's a rub.
What happened to us in layman's a rub? Uh, uh,
one of the lines in one of the songs is to love another person is to see the
face of God. And I love that line. And, and, but, but it's like,
when you see that thing that you saw that's making you cry even now,
if that's not God, I don't know what is man. It's like when you're in the
presence of that kind of thing, reality crack, like the, the shades go up for a
second and you see through the veil and you see something that's beyond politics,
beyond economies. It's, it's as,
it's as unifying and connective as a man being blown backwards by a fart,
except it's, it's like, you know what I mean? It's like in that moment,
I think the reason like it makes you cry is because it's sad because it's what
is possible. That is possible.
They're showing a light of what I'm not doing that we're saying.
Now what you're not doing. It's like all this time we're blowing each other up.
All this time we're like pointing fingers and mad at this and that and that.
When we could be singing together and making things together and refining each
other to like do that. That's all. It's like,
when you see a person can do that, that's possible. That's real.
And, and, and, and like that transcends, uh,
whatever the particular low level zeitgeist shit happens to be,
it transcends it. You step out of time for a second.
You're no longer in your reality.
You've come into a place that's a place where all great artists eternally hang
out. And that's like transformative.
I think that's truth to me. You, when you talk, when you, you know,
when you're on psychedelics and you're like, I don't know what I'm using them
on words, but you see the truth of the universe. Yeah. You know,
it's tough to explain because your words are too limiting. So you come back,
but you're like, I saw, I saw the truth. It's beauty, whatever it is.
But to me, it's like perfect performance is that it's called,
you see somebody crushing it. I'm like, that's it. That's the truth.
They have that. That's right. They're not even there anymore.
The truth is pushing through their identity. And one word for that I've heard
is fundamental goodness, which is that you're witnessing
what the world really is, which is fundamentally good with all these
mental layers piled on top of it. And so to me, that's like once,
once you see that, oh, look, fundamental goodness.
This is in the world. This is the truth. This is behind,
you're looking at the structure that's holding up the stage.
That is transformative because for a lot of people,
they forget that that's even there. You forget.
You get cynical. You're like, the world's a shithole, man.
Garbage people, the world's a shithole. Everything sucks.
This fucking piece of shit place. It's like, no, no.
Look at that, man. That's fucking great. What's happening right now? Yeah.
And if you get that good, you'll change people.
You'll make people.
It was talking to Ian about it, Five Dance. And we're like,
all these people being so angry and stuff, like how do you stop them from like
getting mad at you? And then it's like, realize, like, you can't, you're too small.
But you can individually here or there,
by being nice to people, improve their mood a little bit. And then here or there,
you're not going to change the world. You can change a couple.
Like you can put a couple of starfish back in the water. That's fucking right.
Yeah. Yeah. Here or there. Don't even worry. It's like, to me, it's like, don't even,
like the world, so many evil people's like, yeah, yeah, you're not going to change
that, but you can help that guy up. Like, you know, like I fell to help him up.
Yeah. You know, or you, like what happens is sometimes you're be around someone
who used to be a real piece of shit and they're all glowy and they don't say
anything. They don't tell you anything. They're like, Hey, what's going on with
you, man? And then they're like, Oh yeah, I, you know, I stopped drinking or I,
whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Whoa. You're different for real. Whoa. And then in that
moment, that person doesn't have to really tell you anything. No methodology,
no, but, you know, like the, what the Dalai Lama said,
just leaves you with a smile. What did Dalai Lama say?
My religion is kindness.
Yeah. How, how are you going to be like, fuck, you know, all right, that's fine.
So we're sitting there on one of these inflatable, you know, those, those chairs
you had to like push air into and quickly seal it. Yeah. We're sitting on one of
those and watching whoever, and this dude came back from stage wise, like towards
like leaving the area, you know, cause it's like all the open space behind you.
And I think he was saying it to a lot of people who brought like, cause it was all
kind of muddy who brought like towels and shit. And then, but eventually to us
sitting on this inflatable chair on the lawn and he goes, killed it. Great idea.
Great idea. High five. And like that guy is like Johnny Appleseed with just like
you, he left you with a smile in his wake as opposed to like, that's not fair to
the trans community. It's like, all right, you could be that or you could be that.
Which one do you want to be? You want to leave people like smiling when you walk
away or like, I don't know, all upset. Just like be happy. It's just pretty good.
I mean, you know, usually like when I've, I got called at one point I called my
friend, he has a trans kid. Yeah. Cause I wanted to talk to him, like understand
it more. It's disgusting. He's into trance. Yeah. He like, his kid loves
trance music. You don't like trance. Put those kids down. It's really good music,
dude. But you know, like I, I'd like, I was all like freaked out and like I'd
gotten really sucked into the whole vortex of, of what was happening and
realized, oh, I don't really know anyone who is trans. And I don't know anyone
who's like actually dealing with the issue firsthand. So, and I, this is one
of my best friends who, uh, so I called him and like, we talked and then I got
his wife got on the phone with me and we talked. And all of a sudden the whole
thing became really humanized. And they weren't like, you need to do this.
They were like, she was like, you know, this isn't like we signed up for, we
didn't sign up for this. Like when you're having kids, one of the things you're
not like imagining is you're going to be on a council. You can't think gay, let
alone trans. No. So, so it's like, and, and there wasn't a shred of, um,
like judgment towards me, your questions, what my friend did say to me, which
made a lot of sense. He's like, Hey man, you need to hang out with more trans
people if you don't know any. It's like, and to me, that stuff because there's
so few of them. Well, I mean, a tiny percentage, they do, they do have
gatherings here and there and stuff. And it's like, really? Well, yeah, there's
like a place spoke bicycle that they, you can like go and talk to them and
meet them and like have a discussion with them. Yeah. This reminds me of a
fucking temple in, in Chiang Mai where you could talk to a monk. They, they
work on their, uh, uh, English for a little bit and you get to like ask some
questions about it. But like trans like, so is your pussy smell weird or like,
do you, how do you,
the thing is, like, if you're, if you're like,
If they're in your world, just like when we started meeting serial palsy people,
Stevie Z, uh, Davey Wester. Yeah. And you're like, you just stopped thinking
serial palsy was retarded. Right.
He's like, I know them now. Right. But like, we didn't seek them out. We just
got lucky enough that they were in our world. It's like kind of in the same
way it's your job to seek out good art. Yeah. If you find yourself in the
embarrassing situation of being one of these like straight dudes who for whatever
reason have gotten really caught up in like trans people's rights. Yeah. Which
is to me, it's like, number one, odds are you're not going to meet any of them.
But if you're really upset about it and this shit is really, truly bothering
you, you need to go chat with them. Yeah. Go have a one-on-one conversation with
them. Talk to them about what's upsetting you. Let them know, like have a
conversation. They probably would want to talk to you. You know what I mean?
Instead of like inventing an identity for them, for them. Yeah. To me, that's
the really weird thing is like, I think it's like happening less, but there
was this like sad moment where a lot of guys really got upset about trans
people. Like people are tweeting about it and like, they're not really this. That's
not that. Labels. It's just like, why are you so caught by this? It's like, you
are so, you don't have to worry about it. You probably don't have to worry about
it. Che had a great joke online. He said like, about when the trans North Carolina
bathroom situation was happening. Remember that? Yeah. And people like we should
boycott North Carolina, which is also like, what about the fucking people that
aren't doing it? They're going to punish them. Yeah. But anyway, he goes, guys, I
live in New York City. I was raised in New York City. There's more trans people
here than almost anywhere in the world. I have literally, I've lived in my whole
life. I've literally never seen any trans person go into any bathroom. Right. This
is not a real story. Yeah. This is a nothing tiny story that you guys turn
into a battlefront. That's right. And meanwhile, what's happening is because a
bunch of like weird, angry dudes are tweeting about this shit. It becomes a
story. There's like an actual kid who's a trans kid who's getting the shit beat
out of them because people feel like their entire identity or their abilities,
the bathroom. It's like, holy fucking shit. Like deal with problems. Like, you
know, like one of the things Jack cornfield says I really love is tend to
the part of the garden you can touch. Yeah. So it's like, this isn't growing in
your garden. If it starts growing in your garden, if like suddenly you have to
deal with the fact that some like scary guy is invading your space who is
trans and is like, really like, like, really like, but it's like, this doesn't
attack you in any way. I get the gun control thing. We're like, no, it does
attack me. It's hurting innocent people or it hurts my right to whatever if you
take away my or whatever or abortion, like, no, no, it's a victim. It's a human
life or it's like women's bright shoes, whatever. I can see those a couple
issues where like, I should care. But most of them it's like, there's nothing to
do with you. Just stay out of it to stay out of it or do you want to get
married? Let him get married or fucking hate it secretly. Okay. Why are you
showing up to a gay pride parade? Yeah. This isn't they're not coming to you.
You're going to them. You're going to them. And it's like, just do the it's
like, go do your own research. Go experience these people as they are and
then try to hate them because it's like, come on, man. Anytime you've run into
most anyone, it's a chain. He was into gay rights once his daughter came out.
And there's like, Oh, I get it. They're real people. And you're like, Yeah,
you just didn't meet me. You didn't meet any and you projected your darkness
onto a screen that you that you made up. My dad used to have all these thoughts
about gay people. And then and then we mentioned gay Andrew, my best friend in
college was like, yeah, he's gay. And like, we really like do you can't be more
like more like Elton John, like the most obviously gay guy. Yeah. Yeah.
We're like, wait, what did you think gay was? If you didn't think that was gay,
like, what was it that you were? Yeah. I don't know. So an idea, I guess.
It's the also man thing is every time you take it into your own power to explore
the things you're freaking out about yourself. If usually for me, 100% of
the time, 10 your garden. Yeah. That's Polter. That's a Candid. 10 your garden
is the secret to life. That's good. I don't know, man. Quit talking and fucking
10 your garden. Yeah. And if like, you know, there's some like scary transgender
person in your garden, you know, if like you go outside to plant your tomatoes
and there's like a guy or a girl there who's freaking you out because they're
like not dressing according to the way you think their gender should long hair,
hippy people need not apply. Yeah. Well, you know, I had a guy on sunset where
we used to live and he was sleeping in front of my car every night. Um,
homeless. And at first I was like, no. And then it hit me like, I think I had
just done some, some mushrooms. Um, so it was like, wait, no, I've been close to
here where I've just like been gacked out and I just want to sleep somewhere.
Yeah. And this coat of this car is warm. And I'm like, he's not doing anything
wrong. He's never broken into my car. Yeah. He has an agreement with me.
He'd have to look side, look in my eyes. Yeah. And he just stayed there for about
a year. Yeah, that's great. He'd see him all the time and just like you get out
and leave and didn't ask for money. And it was like, there's no problem here.
He just looks like someone who would be a problem, but he's not. So fucking get
over it. It's beautiful. That's it. It's, I think everyone's losing track because
like the, of the internet of just, just go have a real world interaction with
anyone you're judging and almost always you'll find out that you were pretty
cool. Yeah. Same thing, by the way, with Democrats who hate Republicans. It's
like, go to a Yankee game. You're sitting right next to cheering for the same
team. Next, a guy who's the hardcore Trump fan and on your right, a hardcore
Hillary fan. And you're all rooting for the Yankees together. We're all 95%
the same. And when the big one hits LA or when that hopefully soon when a
disaster strikes, the people who are pulling the rubble, they're not asking
what's your political stance, what the gender, the political stance or the
people under there, they just want to help. Yeah. And that's humanity. If you
ask me, it's like, no one's when they're pulling the rubble out is like, is, I
just want to make sure you're a Bernie bro under the rubble, right? Who did you
vote for? Who did you vote for? Yeah. No, when people, when it really comes down
to it, people just move the fucking rubble. That's who we really are. That to
me is like, that's what, if to me, this is where my own SJW bullshit comes in,
which is like, man, if they're, I know there must be a way in the non
sanctimonious. And the same way you're like, I can make this thing funny all
the way through. I know there must be a way to, to in a funny, artistic, edgy,
refined way to reconnect people to like figure out a way to get people like to
like go underneath the entire fucking thing that wants people to be broken
into pieces. That's I know that is. Let me grab this real quick. Okay. One
second here. Hey, babe, we're just, we're, we're wrapping up the podcast right
now. Is it your dad? Hello?
Um, trouble? No, not at all. I mean, it's, I'm usually honestly, these days,
like I, uh, I don't stay out this late when you have a baby, because you have
to wake up at like six. It seems awful. From the outside, it seems so awful. I
know, man. I know it seems. Oh my God. I'm like hyperventing. You know what's
cool is all this fucking shit like this. Yeah. It reminds me of 84 97. Where
were we? 84 97 sunset. Yeah. Yeah. And you messing with like making weird
songs. Well, I'll tell you off there. I've never gotten sick of it. Yeah. And
you're using it. I'm using it now. It's cool. It's really cool. You can see the
background of like, Oh, this guy started, his dad was in the newspaper industry.
So you can see how that informs his art. Like it's so clearly is informed what
you're doing now. Yes, it is. Well, that's a different podcast. Ari, thank
you for spending all this time. I want to have one thing up. Yeah. And I, I
just want to get this and tell him what you think. So when you're in that
mushroom or, or acid place and you see the truth, then you come back, you're
starting to like come back to reality. Yes. And what I find is when you talk to
someone, they start going like, and they start mentioning things like levers
and pullies and you're like, Oh, what? And they're trying to like, no, you
don't, you don't, like you almost see them. Like, you're not, you don't get it.
You don't get it. Yeah. And there's that. There's five minutes. Shane Moss got
stuff like that for like two months, but like five minutes where you're half
wet. You can still see the psychedelic world. Yes. But you can also see these
normal people you're talking to. And I think how much you think that that is
a open phone line to that world. So when people are doing that thing, you
should stop everything you're doing and say, explain it, explain it to me. Let
me hear it instead of going, you're not making any sense going, Oh, there's
perfect sense in there. Their words are failing them because they're entering
into this world where their words don't work anymore. Yeah. And it's like,
whatever they say, you should write that the fuck down and it's close to the
truth. I don't know. Yeah. So I came out of one, like last year at a music
festival and it told me like my friend Corey, I was like, I talked, she's just
found out the truth. So I was like, what, what did you say? She goes, I'm this,
I don't, it's like, no, no, say it again. It told me to ask you. She's like, I
don't know. She got worried about like, fuck, it's gone. It's gone. Yeah. I
don't know. I don't know how to bridge that gap. Like they said, it brings
something back. Oh, well, I mean, the problem, you, the thing is, like the
reality of it is, man, you're already there. Like that's where you are right
now. Like you are there right now. But because you had our, our like focus on
our identity is so profoundly all encompassing that we can't see it. And
so we're like, the idea is like, well, here's a fun little experiment you
could do if you want to really like have some fun. But again, people listening,
this is like a thing I've talked about a little bit on the podcast. Don't
jump off a building. Don't like, don't do this. If like, there's a part of you
that's like, I don't know, man, I'm already like kind of a little off, you
know, cautious. Um, if you have history of schizophrenia in your family, don't
do it. Otherwise go for it. Go ahead. Well, okay. So like one of the practices,
one practice is called dream yoga. And so what you, I was talking about it
earlier. So what you could do is begin to notice how dream like this reality is.
So whenever, whenever you, it comes to your mind and it doesn't mean like
notice it like, yeah, I guess it's kind of like a dream. It's like really like,
look at this and think, what is the difference between this and my dreams?
What is the difference? There really isn't that much of a difference, man. In
fact, you can get to the point right now. I don't know. Have you ever had a
lucid dream? No. Sleep paralysis? Don't know what that you ever woke up, but
you're not really quite awake. You're still in the dream place, but you can't
move your body. You can't get out of it. No, you don't have an in between place
where you're falling asleep, that place, right? So when you're in that place,
you can almost think, wait, I have a body in the, in another world, right? Okay.
Similarly, in this place, you could do the same thing. Who's dreaming this
shit right now? If this is a dream, who's having a dream? Who is the dreamer?
And then within that, you can start really deconstructing your reality to a
point where you start realizing like, wait, this is like a dream. Literally.
It's all set design.
Yeah. And within that exploration, you can start experiencing a kind of
vividness that's interesting enough. The more you start looking around,
thinking like, this is like a dream. You realize like you really pull into the
moment. It's like, whoa, shit brightens up a little bit. Now you're here,
you're here because you're like, wait, Oh, I can lose a dream in this part
of the dream. And so within that, you can begin to like experience some pretty
interesting psychedelic moments that are completely non dependent on a
psychedelic to the point where you can actually, you begin to realize like,
Oh, in a weird way, psychedelics are comforting and preferable because I
know when I'm coming down. And if I like, and when I'm on the psychedelic,
I can think, Oh, I'm just tripping. Yeah. But if suddenly you begin to realize
like, wait a minute, I'm still tripping. In fact, everything is a psychedelic
moment. Everything is happening within my own mind. Everything that I'm
experiencing is a phenomena that's happening inside of my mind. I cannot
see external phenomena outside what's happening within my own mind. So this
thing that you're experiencing is inside of a simulation, which is your
brain. So anyway, the point is like, there are many, many techniques that
are designed to cut through the idea that a lot of people have that they're
not in a dream to begin to uncover the reality of the fact that everyone is
dreaming, whether they're laying down or sitting up in that the psychedelics are
only showing that to you in a really vivid way. Because you're still there
there. Yeah. But you're there right now. You're there. You're just really
connected to the dream of being a human right now. So you're really
absorbed into the human thing. We do take it like a bunch of whatever. Your
body, you haven't left your body. You're just mind starts thinking a little
differently. Yeah, that's right. And also to add, finish it off, it's like, if
you really want a fucking like trip, learn to be still, learn to sit still for
long periods of time and watch what happens. And then within that, like the
thing that you're looking for in psychedelics that I certainly look for
in psychedelics, you realize, Oh, that's why I like the psychedelic. The
psychedelic was a means to an end. I still love psychedelics. Don't get me
wrong. I always will love them. But like the thing that I was like seeking in
that, which was like, Wow, there's I saw an alien, an angel I encountered a
being. I saw the spirals and the spokes and the interior mechanisms of some
massive cosmic out of time and space machine and things so beautiful words
can't even encapsulate it. That seems to be connected to some civilization
that's entering into our civilization. However you want to put it, all that
thing that you're looking for there in the psychedelic realm is here right
now. It's just you're not seeing learn how to tap into it. So a person will come
to you and they'll say I was on this or that psychedelic and I had an
encounter with a being that told me how important it is to love other people.
Right. You're in an Uber and the Uber driver says it's really important to
love other people. For some reason, you're going to listen to the fucking
being more than the Uber driver. Yeah. Right. Because the being is mystical or
something. Right. But so the reality is why you like reality is also like when
you were tripped out, it probably was just an Uber driver telling you and
you're like some being some magical big like some dude. Well, and also because
it was brand new. Right. So when you encountered the dragon or the alien or
the thingamajig, it was brand new. You'd never seen it before. And so really
what people are looking for is novelty. They're looking for an experience of
newness. So like I'm laying with my son and he's like I'm playing with a
blanket, pushing it out, letting it fall on his head. I'm playing with it. I'm
realizing like this is maybe like his like I don't know how many encounters
he's had with a comforter. Yeah. A massive fucking change in everything. Huge
white fucking movable soft thing that can land on you and everything gets dark
and it goes off of you and everything brightens up again and lands on. What
is it? What is this? Yeah. Right. Yeah. And he's so into it and so in the
moment of being with that thing. Right. Yeah. It's brand new. So nothing has
changed except that we've laid on top of that fundamental reality. I'm getting
that layer upon layer upon layer of stories. It's a comforter. It's a
blanket. It's white. It's a thing I bought here is a thing about there. It's
not enough to keep me warm. It's too much. It's too hot. Instead of
experiencing that fundamental primordial unconditioned state, which is
exactly what's already there anyway. It's already there. It's a newness makes
it seem interesting. Well, the peeling away of the overlay of our
cognitive fucking like perceptual mechanisms produces an instantaneous
sense of bliss. Damn. Okay. I like that. That's it. Yeah. And so that's to
like the idea is that's why people say when you meditate, it's not going to
change anything. You're not getting anything from it. What they mean,
what that means is it's like you're already in heaven. You're already in a
predicament of being completely in this beautiful, vibrant, incredible,
infinitely new place. But you've decided you've figured it all out. It's old.
You know what it is. You know this. You know what's coming. You know what
anyway, that's the idea. Psychedelics just give you that because they fucking
obliterate the overlay of those things on you. Yeah. Yeah. And then it's like,
whoa, we just like happy touch. Like, wow, feels good. Yeah. Yeah. It feels
good. Yeah. When you touch a thing, it feels good. I saw you told me, you
know, I took a vipassana. Yes. And they're like, when you're laying there, I
forget if we're standing or sitting or it's almost all the time. We're walking.
They were like, hear the birds. Don't don't knock them out. Tell yourself
that's a bird. Yeah. If you feel an itch, don't ignore it. Say, okay, my body
is feeling an itch now, and then move on from it. Yeah. But like, feel it all,
see it all. Yeah. Yeah. If you get into that state, you are in a completely
alternate dimension. Yeah. And you're in a place that is so profoundly
beautiful, that you don't need much. And that is anyone has access to that
place. That's your birthright. That's what you are. It's just like, we've
gotten really caught up in our heads right now. Yeah. That's my meditation
speech. I love you, Ari. I gotta get home. All right. Thank you. Thanks. What's
that? I'll be in Columbus this weekend. If anybody's already will be. Oh, and
this is out this weekend. So guys, Shroomfest this year is June 15th, 16th
and 17th. It's probably what brought us together here today. Pretty exciting
about Denver. What's Denver? Decriminalize. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So
Simon, the criminalized. That was the first step we were talking about today
where they did that for the weed. Remember that like 12 years ago? Like,
you can't do that. Yeah. And then they just did. And then it like spouted
out from there. When Shroomfest June 15th this year, June 15th, 16th and 17th.
So that means any time if you want to participate with people all over the
world doing it, if you want an excuse to take mushrooms, be a small amount at a
party, could be a massive amount. Just take mushrooms and you've participated
wherever you are. Here's something. I want to throw this out there. I'm not
going to do it. Uh, not because I don't, oh, I don't, I don't, you know,
mushrooms have never gone all gone well with my stomach weirdly, but I do want
to add this to it, man. You need to produce a room in one of the main VR
nodes, like alt space or someplace like that, where people on verge with
virtual reality goggles can gather together and celebrate Shroomfest on
mushrooms in VR in, in VR space. I like it. Why don't you organize that?
Cause I just, I don't know anything about VR. That in my world, but I guess
someone contact Dari in the VR world and help him build an old space room or I
don't know. Actually get together, not just on an idea plane of like, we're all
tripping together, but an actual, we can all get together. Yeah. That's a cool
idea. Yeah. So that you could be there. Like, and the thing about it is, man,
we'll just sit in there for a few days. Like, Hey, welcome. You're tripping.
Well, you just need a friend who has VR goggles and then is it just like building
like a message board, like come to my message board, but like in virtual
reality, like I'll build a room and you guys can come.
You already have the rooms. You don't have to build it. You just like built.
You, you announce a room and alt space to sell, excuse me, to celebrate Shroomfest
and then anyone who wants to go there with VR goggles, whether they're eating
any kind of mushroom or not could come there and you could be there.
You'd be at your apartment or whoever's house has VR goggles and you could
interact and talk to people during Shroomfest that people can actually from
all over the world can gather, gather in virtual space, literally get together.
Yeah. That's cool. Why don't you, someone help already arranged that.
Do that would be a black outcome. If you do it, because I'm like about to buy
the new Oculus wireless. Yeah. I'll come too. If like you or if you'll be
there, I'll come there and then we can all hang out in VR space and those of
those people out there want to take all over the world.
Just set a time like a few hours where people can just hop in.
All right. Someone teach me how to do it.
Contact Ari. How do they reach you?
Contact at aria.com.
Cool. All right. I'll see you guys in the VR realm.
Hare Krishna. Thanks, Ari.
That was Ari Shafir, everybody.
All the links you need to find sweet Ari will be located at dunkitrustle.com.
Much thanks to Squarespace for sponsoring this episode of the DTFH.
Remember, head over to Squarespace.com forward slash Duncan.
And when you're ready to launch, use Africa Duncan to get 10% off your first
order of a website or a domain.
Subscribe at patreon.com forward slash DTFH.
And for the love of all things holy in this sweet universe, please stop
procrastinating. I know every single one of you have been dying to head over to
iTunes and leave a massive review.
Make it as long as you possibly can.
Give us five stars so we can go shooting up the charts to finally
dethrone Rogan and ascend to the number one podcast category
in the whole world. Once that happens,
I will finally be able to enact Morpheus protocol and transform the entire
planet into an eternal paradise of never ending orgies.
But until then we're going to have to keep dealing with what we've got.
I'll be back next week.
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend,
a wonderful series of days in between the weekend and that some of you achieve
transcendence and ascend to the next round.
Hare Krishna.
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A good time starts with a great wardrobe. Next stop, JC Penney family,
get-togethers to fancy occasions, wedding season two.
We do it all in style dresses, suiting and plenty of color to play with.
Get fixed up with brands like Liz Claiborne, Worthington, Stafford and J.
Farrar. Oh, and thereabouts for kids.
Super cute and extra affordable.
Check out the latest in store and we're never short on options at jcp.com.
All dressed up everywhere to go. JC Penney.